#every social situation makes me feel like theres dense fog in my brain bc theres so many rules + i have to be not mentally ill around ppl
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tried to watch a movie on call w flatmates earlier bc i thought i was doing well enough but I couldnt focus at allllll :(((
#i hope they didnt mind im sure they still had a good time since theyre super into the movie franchise#i had to quit halfway thru to play dead cells hardest difficulty bc rn its the only (safe) method to quiet my mind#every social situation makes me feel like theres dense fog in my brain bc theres so many rules + i have to be not mentally ill around ppl#it takes so much effort my head is a dog begging for attention and i have to heavily curb that if i want ppl to stay friends lmao#it tires me out so easily. but if i dont get social contact the horrors worsen so.#if i was at uni i could just take 15 to bleed and thatd vent it instantly. normalising beam. but i cant while im at home so whatever ufhfj#i jush wish like. nvm idk whatever#better luck next time i guess#anywaydhfj onwards to greener pastures (bedtime for real now)#.vent#wow i posted this last night not at 5am. the hell
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