#every ship fight is about feeling morally superior and it's tiring

[pansexualhousecat]

i'll never understand why all the people who hate jayvik are just straight up ableist towards viktor or racist towards jayce or homophobic or try to find something 'bad' about the relationship to feel morally superior about their own (straight) ships with them

you guys know you can dislike a ship without being a horrible person right? have you never been in a fandom before?

[honey-lets-fucking-run]

Ethan Hunt & Ilsa Faust: A Journey

So, after yesterday's news about the MI franchise, a celebratory rewatch was a given. Unfortunately, in order to be able to swallow down six movies in one sitting, one needs a full day with no interruptions, and that scenario has proven itself to be highly unlikely in my case. Naturally, I resorted to watching the last two instead of the whole pack. Four hours had passed, I found myself wandering down the path of digesting the character dynamic between Ethan and Ilsa.

Firstly, I must confess: yes, I do ship them. Yes, I'm able to see them as a romantic couple. I know it sounds cliché, and no one is under the obligation to agree with my opinion, because it's just it. A single opinion. But while I was in the process, it got me thinking on why I can see them as a couple.

Let's start with the notion that Ethan is, without any shade of doubt, a people person. He's the so-called head of the wolf pack, to put it bluntly. He's charming, he's evocative in a nonthreatening way, he's talkative, he's energetic, the list goes on and on. He appreciates the people around him and is able to see them for what they really are. He sees Luther as his voice of reason, he never ever begrudges Benji for being a little too much pain to handle (that constant rambling, seriously. I love Benji with all my heart, I really do, but being near him I would have probably gone nuts asking him to shut up just for once), he's even able to put up with Brandt's never-ceasing paranoia. Most of all, Ethan is ferociously loyal to all of them, a trait which I find unique in regards that they all reciprocate the same loyalty without question. They may say he's crazy, but they would follow him to the hell and back regardless of his recklessness. Why? Well, because Ethan is stubborn. It's easier to go with him than to be discouraging towards him, exactly for the reason that by being so stubborn he keeps the flame of hope alive not only within himself but also within their tight group as well. Hope for something good in the world. Hope that every heinous and horrible thing they do would eventually be worth doing. That's what keeps them going, no matter the circumstances. Which I find as a very interesting fickle in terms of character's value.

To be more clear, the guy has seen some shit. On a constant basis, even. He's been hunted down almost non-stop from the very beginning, his superiors don't trust him at all (seriously, I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of Secretaries that weren't antagonistic towards him), he's been betrayed by the system every now and then, his chance at a happy and normal life didn't pan out. He has lost so much and has been beaten down so many times, that his reckless and desperate attempts to save practically everybody are largely motivated by the fear of losing, doesn't matter who: someone within his team, or some abstract pedestrian he met down the street. And yet...

And yet he stays hopeful. He deliberately chooses the audacity of hope in the face and in spite of the circumstances. That is unique in a very distinctive way, which essentially sets Ethan apart from so many other action heroes. I mean, yes, he's tired. He's worn down. Yes, the fear he's carrying within himself must be crippling. Yes, he's paranoid, he's reckless to the point of stupidity sometimes, and yet, he can think rationally (even if it doesn't seem so) even while being under emotional pressure. He doesn't allow for his previous experiences to cloud his judgment. His experiences do shape him, just like they would shape any other human, sometimes his experience might even dictate his actions, but - and that's the difference - he doesn't let himself become jaded and cynical. If he did, he would have lost his humanity, the only way he knows how to preserve it, and we know that he cannot possibly afford that.

Now, Ilsa is different. Totally different. Where Ethan is the head of the wolf pack, she's a lone wolf. Not only a lone wolf, but a stray wolf - and she was put into this position by her own government. The same government that once deemed her as a traitor to leverage her into tossing her around whatever they see fit. She doesn't belong anywhere; the only way for her to preserve her integrity is to fight for it. Viciously, with teeth and nails, with no regards to possible collateral damage (she probably had her fair share of collateral damage while working with Lane, she herself essentially was collateral damage) and to the consequences. She doesn't have anyone to rely on, except herself. And yet, she's very upfront. Steadfast. A good opponent, a tricky one, because even while manipulating the events to her own means, she manages to stay truthful about her intentions. I mean, she's a spy. A very good one, obviously, because you wouldn't be able to survive being undercover for two years without staining your hands and doing some morally questionable things, but she always remains steadfastly honest about herself, even if she doesn't come clean on her agenda from the first try. And how could she? She couldn't, even if she wanted to. She's a lone wolf, and lone wolves are dangerous. They're unpredictable because they have to do anything in their power to just survive.

What fascinates me: Ethan, being Ethan, i.e. the person who attaches way to quickly to anyone for the tiniest bit of reason, inadvertently gave her a reason in return. To be open. No, not completely, obviously it's a little bit early for that. But he gave her an opportunity to be honest. Being honest is the thing she strives for. She acts as his counterpoint and foil, and yet, they remain on equal footing the entire time - simply because he doesn't judge her. Not ever. He doesn't question her actions, no matter how borderline they may come across to others. He just knows she has reasons, he even knows what reasons are those without her having to explain that to him. He knows before being handed an explanation, he knows on some innately deeper level, the same level that helps him recognise and respect her first. Any romantic feelings there may be - they come after. Respect and mutual recognition is the essential foundation.

And you know, that's new for her. You can see it written plainly across her face throughout both movies. She doesn't have to hide herself from him, because he doesn't judge. He just understands. He accepts. Without question. Which provokes the same reaction from Ilsa herself: she's able to see through his flaws and baggage as well. And she doesn't judge him either, because having been through what she's had been through, she couldn't ever.

That's what they seek for so desperately. Understanding. A chance of solace in the midst of chaos. Not having to constantly remember about what they have to do and what are they doing. Most of all, they both need to be accepted with all their baggage, flaws and insecurities alike.

Acceptance is a very hard thing to find, even more harder to achieve. They both are not quite there yet, but who knows. Maybe they will get there. Eventually.

For @medveditsa

For @imfmi6

[the-citrus-scale]

I respectfully disagree. Your articles have become increasingly negative over the last few months, as if you are discouraging fan creators, making them feel guilty for loving their fandom. You go looking for problems, in a fandom. I take issue with your statement that you are the only outlet that is positively supporting fan creators. You’re a bit full of yourself in that regard. You are definitely NOT the only outlet that supports those of us who create for the fandom community.

We’d like to apologize to our readers for this exceptionally long post.

We literally know of no one else who interviews fanfiction authors and treats them with any sort of respect. If there are other sites or communities, please let us know. We’d love to hear about them! As for the increasing negativity, see below for the actual statistics. You’ll see that your arguments do not hold up. 

6 weeks ago

We began our Relaunch Week as we transitioned from The Lemon Magazine to The Citrus Scale. 

“How Stranger Things Ruined My Life” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): The title is clearly a joke. It listed all the wonderful ways that the Duffer Brothers and Shawn Levy have taught us that women are allowed to demand more of the media and entertainment they consume.  

“Chaotic Neutrals: The Walking Dead Edition” 

Tone: Critical

Note(s): For the purposes of this exercise, we’re going to say that all critical articles automatically equal negativity. We DO NOT feel this way, nor does any news and media organization, but we talk more about that at the end of this post. 

Then we posted a game, a picture of the prize to win that day, and another game the next day.  

“Please, Sir, Can I Have Some More?”

Tone: Positive 

Note(s): Well, we will preface it by saying that it’s not at all positive if you are a white guy in entertainment who refuses to tell any story that isn’t their own and continually puts women down. If you, Anon, are one of the fanboys who whined and cried when Jodie Whittaker got cast as the new Doctor then #sorrynotsorry. We won’t apologize for calling people out for oppressing minority groups. Not now. Not ever. 

“In Defense Of… Self-Inserts” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): It is literally “in defense of” self-inserts and authors who write them. The only thing remotely critical is at the end when we stay if you don’t like this type of work, you aren’t obligated to read it. As an overall tone, it is positive. 

“When A Villain Can’t Be Redeemed: A Study In Severus Snape”

Tone: Negative

Note(s): We do not hide our disdain for Severus Snape and his routine abuse of children.

“Adapting Comics For The Screen”

Tone: Informational (Neutral)

Note(s): Again, the only thing that could be considered critical is at the end when we discuss oversaturation in the Marvel fandom and how exhausting such a catalogue of works can be, and that reader/viewer fatigue is very real and you are allowed to take a break if you need it. 

“The Fight Against Fiction Censorship” 

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We discuss how you, as the reader, should be curating your own experience and how characters are allowed to be morally gray. That these characters do not and should not be automatically deemed as representative of writers’ actual views on sensitive subject matters. 

“Get Fridged, B*tch!: The Short Lives of Women in Supernatural” 

Tone: Highly Critical

Note(s): We discuss the fact that in the show Supernatural specifically, most women are killed for the character development of their male counterparts. We point out that this is not okay and leads to the accepted convention that this is good writing and not, in fact, incredibly lazy and sloppy. 

Then we did six posts, in a row, on our Instagram that were silly, funny, or light-hearted, but we’ll chalk those up to neutral even though they’re definitely more positive than anything. We did Signs as Quotes, Kiss. Marry. Kill., The Alphabet Game, and a D&D alignment chart with characters. 

So, at the end of our relaunch week, we were at sixteen (16) informational or neutral, four (4) critical or negative, and three (3) positive, with only one being truly considered negative and not simply critical.

5 weeks ago

We began our Pensacon 2019 Convention Coverage. We featured three (3) cosplayers we met at the convention, linked their profiles, and not one of our questions was negative. Again, we won’t add them to our positive list, but they definitely count as us being supportive. We know we’re not the only who interviews cosplayers in a positive fashion, but there can always be more. We also included four (4) fanfiction authors. There were other informational, infographic, or neutral articles (like interviews), interspersed between these articles: 

“Pensacon 2019 Intro Review” and the “Pensacon 2019 Wrap-Up Review”

Tone: Positive (x2)

Note(s): We had a blast at Pensacon, and will be returning next year as well. All our coverage was overwhelmingly positive. 

“Using Fandom To Teach” 

Tone: Positive 

Note(s): The article states fun ways that you can include fandom in the classroom to help engage the students so they don’t automatically tune you out. It was also a small summary of the panel we saw at the convention, which is clearly referenced. However, all the ideas were original or credited appropriately. 

We also had a TWD Trailer Reaction Video. As far as we know, there’s nothing to be seen as negative (unless we were talking about Rosita). If you really, really tried, you could count it negative though, since every single thing we said it in wasn’t nice to all the characters. For those keeping score, we’re at twenty-eight (28) informational or infographic, six (6) positive, and four (4) critical or negative. 

4 weeks ago

We began our Marvel-themed month here. Honestly, we’re getting tired of linking most things, so here’s how Marvel month stacks up. 

There were eighteen (18) informational articles or infographics, eleven (11) interviews, four (4) playlists, and two (2) games. This leaves us with thirty-five (35) neutral articles. 

“AUs Becoming Original Fiction”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): This article featured information on how to possibly transform an AU fanfic into original fiction, if you so desire. It included examples of popular fiction that had done just that. 

“Faithfulness in Adaptations”

Tone: Neutral

Note(s): We list the ways why it’s okay to like both and that one isn’t superior to the other. 

“Being First Doesn’t Mean Going It Alone” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): It was written shortly after seeing Avengers: Endgame and was a glowing recommendation of the movie due to the girl power scene. However, upon further reflection we realized that thirty minutes of representation in an almost three hour movie isn’t as good as we thought it was and several other things caused the movie, as a whole, to miss the mark. As it relates to this article, though, it was positive. 

“The MCU and Buffet-Style Representation”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We criticize Marvel’s lack of representation and how they are continually putting down any fan interpretation that sees a character as homosexual. We do end it on a positive note by saying we’re going to hold out on passing final judgment since they are promising to do better soon. We’re middling at best here, so we’ll say critical. 

“In Defense Of… Steve Rogers’ Happy Ending”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We simply state that Steve is allowed to be happy and that him being miserable shouldn’t be his only real characterization or arc. 

“The Importance of Fan Service” 

Tone: PositiveNote(s): This one is about the importance of fans feeling like valued members of their community by original content creators, and how it only adds positively to the overall experience of fandom. 

“Rule 34: The Rise of Super Sex” 

Tone: Informational 

Note(s): It doesn’t take a stance either way regarding how we, as an organization, feel about this practice, though it could be seen as more comedic since there are many, many sex puns. 

“The Squick Factor: WinterPrincess” 

Tone: Critical 

Note(s): We break down a controversial ship in the Marvel fandom and explain why it shouldn’t be seen that way, based on the arguments given from inside the Marvel fandom itself. 

“Trope Scope: The Isolation of Being Super”

Tone: Informational

Note(s): We explain the lonely superhero trope and how to use it in your own writing. 

“All the Feels: Standing Up For What’s Right” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): It’s called ‘All the Feels’, so… yeah. 

“Get Fridged, B*tch!: Marvel Edition”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): Again, we take a stance against using women as plot devices to further male character development. Marvel has a lot of characters, so it was easy to come up with examples. We’d like to note that we defend Stan Lee in this one as he wasn’t for fridging Gwen Stacy. 

“You Need To Calm Down: And Other Advice From Taylor Swift” 

Tone: Highly Critical

Note(s): We wrote an article in response to another from Hypable.com, where we defend binge-watching television, new or old, and list all the ways it isn’t a bad thing. As always, the responses and points in this article were well-researched and thought out. 

“Women Behaving Badly: Why the Movie Hustlers Is Important” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): We can’t wait to see this movie and talk about why showing women doing the same thing as men, even if it isn’t prim and proper, is a good thing and helps us gain more equality in entertainment and in representation. 

“#NoHomo YouTube Video” 

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We take Marvel to task over Avengers: Endgame and we still have no desire to apologize for it. If you’d like to know why, please watch the video linked above. We can also send the talking points, if that makes it easier to follow. 

So, at the end of six weeks, which brings us to today, we were at sixty-three (63) informational or infographic, twelve (12) positive to ten (10) critical or negative. 

If you came to a different conclusion, we’d love to hear your reasons as to why. However, all we ask is that if you want to make accusations about our overall tone, you be able to back it up, as we did. It seems to us, and anyone paying attention, that we are overwhelmingly informational first. The problem seems to be that any time we are remotely critical of a character, original content creator, or a fandom, we are marked as negative. Which, frankly, is not true. We are a news and media organization. We are allowed to interpret things in a light other than positive. We will continue to bring our readers as much fandom-related content as possible and we promise to be truthful and to never sugarcoat anything. We also pledge to be respectful always. 

If there are any other concerns, we urge you to send them to our ask box as this anon did. Understand, though, that critiquing us does not mean we will blow up, act foolish, or remain anything other than responsible fandom members. We have receipts to back up everything we do, so don’t assume we’ll take accusations lying down either. We welcome all criticism and will apologize where necessary. This just wasn’t one of those times. 

[turtle-steverogers]

the chocolate war

aka race is hella dramatic and spot wants death

ship: sprace

warnings: none, cept for milk choc being stanned

editing: i skimmed it

word count: 1195

-

From Race: we need to talk when you get home.

Spot frowned down at the text, anxiety pooling inadvertently in his gut.  He rifled through his mind, trying to recall anything he might have done to anger Race, but nothing came to mind.  Sure, he’d forgotten to do the dishes last night, but he had been really tired.  Besides, Race knew he had a big case meeting today, so he’d figured he’d be sympathetic towards his reasoning.

To Race: if it’s ab the dishes, im sorry.  ill do them the next two times

He bit his lip as the text bubble appeared and disappeared a few times.  Whatever was bothering Race was clearly eating at him.

From Race: it’s not ab the dishes.  we’ll discuss later.

A nervous lump formed in Spot’s throat and he typed out a response with trembling hands.  This exchange was every bit as vague and scary as a breakup conversation.  Did Race want to break up?  What had he done?

To Race: okay

He waited for another minute to see if Race would follow up, but he’d left him on read.  Taking a breath to compose himself, Spot pocketed his phone and turned back to his desk.  No matter what was happening with Race, he needed to get work done.  Especially if he’d inevitably have to move out after breaking up.

XXX

By the time he got back to the apartment, Spot’s heart was hammering painfully in his chest.  He hesitated with his key in the lock.  Part of him didn’t want to go in.  He was too afraid of what he may face.  Throughout the day, he’d utterly convinced himself that he’d done something major to fuck things up and the end of their relationship seemed imminent at this point.  But that didn’t mean he’d come to terms with it.  He wasn’t ready for things to end.

Before he could chicken out, he unlocked the door, reminding himself to breathe as he entered.  Race was sitting on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen.  His arms were crossed and vague disgust was written across his face.  He looked up at Spot, scowl growing as he walked over.

“Explain that,” He pointed to the coffee table and Spot followed his finger to where a package of Hershey’s dark chocolate lay, perfectly unopened on top of a magazine.

He blinked, dumbfounded, “Race, what-”

“Lemme set the scene,” Race spat, cutting him off, “There I was, craving something sweet on this fine Tuesday morning, but I didn’t want to go out of the house to get anything.  So, I went to our lovely pantry and was delighted to find that we had chocolate!  It seemed too good to be true,” he paused, closing his eyes in anguish, “And it was.  Because, you see, as I was about to unwrap the glorious treat, my eye caught something on the label!” He held a hand over his heart and fixed Spot with a betrayed look, “It was dark chocolate,” he finished, his voice dangerously low.

Spot stared at him for a moment, confusion and relief spreading through his chest, “So...you’re not breaking up with me?”

Race grimaced, “I might have to unless you tell me that you weren’t the one who bought the dark chocolate.”

Spot scoffed, leaning down to pick up the chocolate bar, “What’s wrong with dark chocolate? It’s better than that milk chocolate shit.”

Race let out an offended squawk, “better than milk- Sean Conlon what kind of bullshit are you on?”

Spot shrugged, unwrapping the bar and popping a piece in his mouth, “Milk is too sweet.  Dark is pleasant.”

“Dark tastes like dirt and sadness!” Race yelped, wrinkling his nose and backing away when Spot held out the chocolate bar in a silent offer, “No, get that shit away from me.”

Spot rolled his eyes, sitting next to Race on the couch and biting off another piece of chocolate, “What’s your deal, anyway?  I’m not forcing you to eat the damn chocolate or anything.  More for me if you don’t like it.”

“My deal is,” Race hissed, poking Spot in the side with his foot, “I’m dating a dark chocolate stan and that goes against every single one of my morals.”

“Dark chocolate is good, though!” Spot countered.

“No, it’s not!” Race sat up, waving his hands wildly, “Dark is shit! You’re eating literal dirt!”

Spot eyed him, mildly amused, “God, you’re dramatic.”

Race huffed, standing, “Sleep on the couch tonight, stronzo.”

XXX

“Spot likes what!?”

Spot resisted the urge to slam his head against the wall behind him as Jack’s loud voice carried across the table.  Their group was gathered at Jacobi’s, having decided to meet there during their various lunch breaks, but Spot was regretting coming now.  He should have known Race was still hung up on his affinity for dark chocolate.

“It’s true,” Race said solemnly, “He actually likes dark chocolate.”

Jack gawked at Spot, “I feel like I don’t know you anymore,” he muttered, “my own brother.”

“God does milk chocolate have like some drama queen chemical in it?” Spot asked, picking up his glass and taking a long sip from his Coke, not once shifting his gaze from Jack’s exaggeratedly offended one, “I mean, it would make sense since you and Race both like it so much.”

Race shook his head, “Ah, it all makes sense now.”

Jack looked over at him, cocking his head, “What does?”

“Spot likes dark chocolate ‘cause it’s bitter,” Race stated, matter-of-factly.

When he was still met with blank stares, he sighed, “Spot is bitter and dark chocolate is bitter.  They’re one in the same!”

“I’m going to break up with you,” Spot deadpanned.

“Not if I do it first,” Race retorted.

“I dunno,” Davey piped up from where he sat next to Katherine, “Dark chocolate is pretty good and it has a lot of health benefits.”

“Yeah, agreed,” Katherine added, “It’s really good for your heart- I wrote a whole blog article on it.”

Race’s eyes travelled around the table, completely bewildered, “I can’t believe this.”

“Yeah, I have to agree with Race and Jack,” Crutchie said, “Milk chocolate is infinitely superior to dark chocolate.”

“Untrue, dark chocolate’s better,” Spot said, firmly.

“Nope, milk chocolate,” Jack shot back.

“Yeah,” Race lifted his chin defiantly, “Milk chocolate for the win.”

“Dark!” Davey exclaimed, “Dark is better.”

“Milk!” Crutchie said, leaning across the table and flicking Davey on the ear, “You’re supposed to be the smart one.”

“No, Davey’s right and I’m going to go down with this fight.”

“Thank you, Spot.”

“You know,” All their heads turned when Albert spoke, “White chocolate is pretty bomb.”

No one spoke a word for a moment, then Race stood up slowly and walked to Albert’s chair.  He waited for a moment, maintaining murderous eye contact with Albert before rearing his fist back and punching him square in the nose.  Albert let out a pained shout, the force of the punch sending his chair backwards and he fell to the ground, sprawling out unceremoniously.

“Asshole!” He yelled, gingerly holding his nose, “What was that for!?”

Race shrugged, “White chocolate is invalid.”

-

dark choc is good

fight me

this fic is directly made out to @ispeekfluentshowtunes also thnx for some opinions on the fic dude

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag 

TAG LIST: @bencookisagod @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-try @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @felix-loves-albert-and-ralbert @axolotlwhizzy

@andthewoildwillknow @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @sunshine-e-cigarettes @have-we-got-news-for-you @musical-shitposts @thebroadwayaesthetic

@thomasbeingthomas

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@snakesarenonexistent

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing

@kpop-kk

@mentallytiredgoat

@yxseminx

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen

@stopthe-presses

@elmers-half-a-cup

@and-i-lostmy-shoe

@spot-me50-papes

@honeynutpoptarts

@newsies-ensemble

@bennie-badeend

@auspicioustarantula

@faithmil

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@bxnesof92

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@malex-13

@albert-eats-cookie-cake

@heart-a-n-o-n

@bitching-newsboys

@orollyitsracetrackhiggins

@joshuaburrageenthusiast

@random-superhero-stuff

@awkwardstranger98

@falling-out-trees-101

@modern-race-owns-airpods

[vesperlionheart]

what do u think of people who shame (for example) itasaku/kakasaku shippers lmao.....i'm tired of some people saying it's gross to ship and adult/minor relationship and i'm like. hello. its fanon. and i only ship when sakura is of age as well. exhausted sigh why cant i ship what i want to ship

Hooo boy, yeah, I know the feeling dear. It’s not fun to dig into but lemme tell ya my thoughts and feelings.  

I’ve been a part of the fandom community since 05 and was a contributor in 06, meaning I’ve been around a good long while-long enough to notice the shifts and changes and one of those changes is the self righteous call out culture that’s sort of turned into its own monster. Back in the day the culture regarding fanwork/art was a bit more respectful and mindful as the community wasn’t the size it is now. It was still unpopular to be a weebo/nerd/geek/fan or admit to it in real life (this was before Iron Man made super heroes cool and elevated whole other dregs of nerd culture for mass media distribution and consumption). But back in the day there was just a lot more humble thanks for what scraps we could get our hands on in the wake of purges and strikethroughs. If you ran across something you didn’t like you just moved on. yeah there were always assholes who would spew but it wasn’t as bad as it is now and they were true outliers. 

But in an attempt to get back on topic, what I think about antis or ‘plebes on the shame wagon looking for a good roast’... some days I wanna say eff em and keep writing what you like, but other days I’m a bit more conflicted.  It’s been a bit of a jarring experience to work as an elementary educator and watch my kids grow up and listen to them tell me about anime/cartoons they like and how they interact online. I’ve had a couple conversations about why it’s not okay to hate kagami from Miracilous Ladybug because she gets in the way of a fav ship (Yo this was a weird talk to have as an adult with an 11 year old!) With that background, I look at a lot of these haters and wonder if they’re just not 15 year olds awkwardly learning how to use the internet, kids that would benefit from someone showing them grace and explaining some things to them?  But I know that’s not true for all of them and there are plenty of adults older than me who are gross and rude and too ignorant to see that apples aren’t oranges in every given situation. I feel your frustrations! I love shipping my queen with an older gent and because I’m not a 16 year old anymore. I never write teenage Sakura (I can’t-I literally can’t write teenagers anymore) and I don’t see the younger guys as suitable partners. *editing to add I don’t write or read minor/adult anything cause some people need it in bold*  Some people don’t look at the source and see the fics for what they are. They’re looking for a fight and want to be morally superior throughout it. They’re just poop. It’s fandom and you can ship whatever you want to ship, you can change their ages, their histories, their backgrounds. Build an AU up from the ground or just drop the characters into a college setting, do whatever you want. Thanks to safe havens on the internet like AO3 you literally can write whatever you want. I’m not the biggest fan of every ship but that’s fine. They can write what they wanna write. I’ll write what I wanna write. Everyone can have fun. People who spew anti hate are wasting their time. It’s fandom, it ain’t real people. Build a bridge and get over it. 

[otomeshistarlight-blog]

Rant incoming

I was scrolling through the JoJo tag when I saw this post and I just ... I’m really tired y’all.

First of all, according to a google search it looks like the age of consent in Italy is 14 (if I’m wrong, please correct me) so Narancia is very legal, as is Giorno. America’s laws are not universal. The world is not so UScentric that whatever we as a country deem inappropriate is likewise considered to be inappropriate in other countries. There are varying standards throughout different societies and one is not necessarily more correct than the next. Whether or not I think real life fourteen year olds should be having sex is irrelevant- because even if I don’t agree with it, it’s gonna happen anyway - but Narancia is not a real fourteen year old so whatever the law dictates in America OR Italy is irrelevant.

What this boils down to is that there is no victim here. Narancia cannot be taken advantage of. Narancia cannot be sexually assaulted and face the physical/emotional consequences of such trauma. There is nothing inherently wrong with shipping him in ANY pairing, regardless of the ages involved. If I want to write about him getting wrecked by Bruno I will damn well do it because not a single person is being hurt by me doing so. If this is something that triggers you and causes you distress then don’t 👏🏻 fucking 👏🏻 look 👏🏻 at 👏🏻 it. 👏🏻

Fighting for the rights of fictional characters solves nothing. It helps no one. It doesn’t benefit real victims and it sure as hell does not stop real people from being victimized in the first place. This is a nonissue that people are taking up arms over for no reason other than a perceived moral superiority that makes them feel more in control of the world around them. It stems from feeling helpless and lost in a society that doesn’t bend to their every whim. Fandom space is the only place they feel like they have any power so they take on the role of morality police, try to dictate what people can and cannot like, and then accuse anyone who won’t do what they say of heinous crimes. It’s extremely toxic and harmful, not to mention it lessens the severity of sincere pedophile/abuse finger pointing so the chances of a real predator getting away with it are greatly heightened, and I’m just done with it at this point.

Let’s say I’m looking through the porn tags as I am won’t to do and I come across a post that features blatant child porn. Real child porn. The 3D kind that, yknow, actually features real children being exploited and assaulted for realsies. I’m understandably appalled so I file a report with tumblr and they don’t even look at it because they’ve been bombarded for the last year with false harm to minors reports and the user is never penalized for actually doing something inherently wrong and immoral. Y’all have heard about the girl who cried wolf right? Like, y’all know how that story ends don’t you?

But no. Instead of directing your efforts towards anything worthwhile, you’re going to keep going after shippers. And for what? Because oh no, the fictional seventeen year old who could just as likely be nineteen is being paired with a fictional twenty-five year old. The horror. What is the world coming to? Think of the children!

Except ... these supposed children don’t exist. How can you victimize a piece of paper? The same argument applies to loli/shotacon too mind you, and there is no crime in looking at drawings regardless of their perceived age, especially when the topic is anime where you can have a character who looks like a five year old girl and she is in fact a 400 year old vampire. Like?? There is absolutely no logic you can apply to this that has any internal consistency let alone actually makes sense.

Me: these fictional minors don’t even look like sixteen year olds, where have you seen a real teenager who looks like this?

Antis: they look like teens you pedo!! And ageing them up is still pedophilia because they are canonly sixteen so you’re still thinking about teenagers in a roundabout, highly contrived way

Me: *shows you a 300 year old loli vampire* okay so I can definitely fuck this one right? She’s unrealistically old!

Antis: no!!!! You’re just using her canon age as an excuse to be a freak who preys on children! She might be 300 years old but she still has the body of a child!!

Me: okay so I’ll just age myself down to self ship, no biggie.

Antis: absolutely not!! You’re still an adult and ageing yourself down doesn’t make it okay!! I’m reporting you to the authorities right now!

Me: but ... who am I supposed to imagine fucking then?

Antis: one of the few adults you find in anime, except this one because he’s an abuser, or this one because he tortured a little girl and not the serial killer either because wow problematic

Me: so what you’re telling me ... is that I’m only allowed to thirst after your preapproved, precious cinnamon roll faves even though my tastes or needs in a relationship might vary greatly from yours?

Antis: yes, exactly. I’m so glad you’re finally on my level of intelligence and moral superiority. : ^)

Me: oh, I see now. So what this boils down to is that you just don’t want people to enjoy something you don’t personally agree with. Got it.

Antis: absolutely not!! I’m thinking about the betterment of society by telling you what you can and cannot enjoy! You liking these questionable things is harmful against the greater good! Won’t you think of the children!?

Me: soooooo we’re just gonna ignore how much that sounds like a fascist/communist society or ...?

Antis: : ^)

Y’all should absolutely read 1984. It would do you some good. Because having an attraction to a fucking anime character is not a slippery slope, but this puritanical shit? It sure as hell is.

Let me pose this query: what is stopping an anti from going on a book burning campaign or fighting to get certain books banned? Lolita? Flowers in the Attic? All of the works by Marquis de Sade (a personal hero of mine)? Alternatively who are the only people who actually engage in book burning/banning?

Overzealous religious nuts. Everything about the anti movement is the same “our children shouldn’t be exposed to such filth�� battle cry that religious sects - specifically the western ones - have screamed for decades now except with a cute little sjw hat on top. No rock n’ roll music. It’s Satan’s music. No porn. It’s tainting America’s youth. No alcohol. It’s leading our country down the path of sin. No violent video games or movies. They’re turning people into mass shooters. No problematic themes in fictional works because it’s turning people into pedophiles/abusers.

And that is just ... factually incorrect. There is absolutely no correlation between Lolita being published and an uptick in children being sexually assaulted. There is no correlation between lolicon or shotacon breeding more pedophiles. Because that’s literally not how it works. Period. I’m not going to accidentally stumble on a loli doujin and think “huh yknow what? This sounds fun!” I could even read loli doujins at length and that’s still not going to convince me that actually engaging in sexual situations with toddlers is okay. Like ... I don’t know why these people think we’re so stupid that we don’t know the difference between right and wrong but this is just insane. The only people who look at loli or shota and then go on to commit crimes against real children are the ones who were already having those kinds of thoughts in the first place. The only people who play Grand Theft Auto and then go shoot up a church are the ones who were already having violent thoughts to begin with. These thoughts are not magically implanted into our brains regardless of what media we consume and that’s just a goddamn fact.

Yes, media impacts reality but not the way you think it does. Even all those sources antis link to about the supposed correlation between the two are twisted to meet their own rhetoric. It’s called marketing and anyone with half a brain cell knows that it exists. It’s meant to encourage us into thinking we need some product so we spend money on junk and keep capitalism going strong. it works more often than not. However no amount of marketing is going to convince a mentally sound person that shooting up a mall is a valid life choice to make. It just doesn’t work like that and you could scream until your blue in the face that fucking kids is the bees knees and I still wouldn’t touch a real child because that’s gross. Period. And since I can’t touch Bakugou Katsuki or Narancia because they’re just figments of someone’s imagination and pen and paper ... then where lies the problem?? What is the issue with writing or drawing fictional characters, regardless of age or moral compass, in sexual situations?

I’m a CSA survivor that has been on the internet for a LONG time. I’ve seen some shit I sorely wish I could forget. Everything from real life gore, real life death, bestiality, necrophilia and yes even real life child porn. I don’t think there’s a single problematic thing I haven’t accidentally stumbled on and it’s horrific. It’s disgusting. I know all too well how awful these things are and I know even better how it feels to be a victim of rape and sexual assault and pedophilia and grooming. Like. That was my life growing up. I know what these things look like and I can assure you without a shadow of a doubt that whatever is going on in fandom space isn’t even comparable. Please. Draw your OC fucking a dragon mascot character instead of fucking a real animal. Please write about a fictional father fucking his fictional son instead of fucking a real child or a real sibling. Do whatever you want with your imagination - and I do mean WHATEVER. If you want to think about eating your favorite characters shit then by all means. Enjoy. It doesn’t effect reality in any way besides maybe giving someone a cathartic coping outlet and there’s nothing wrong with it.

There’s nothing wrong with ANY topic being explored in fiction.

The only problem is when someone commits a crime in reality. When someone hurts another living being. And consuming this so called problematic fiction does not lead someone to real life crimes. Period.

Finding myself on that stupid gore site when I was 14, BestGore I think it’s called? Did not make me want to try killing someone. I’ve never even seriously contemplated doing it because death is awful in every regard, I wouldn’t seriously wish that on anyone let alone convince myself that it’s okay. But according to antis me being exposed to that sort of content means I’m more likely to go out and commit murder?

Literally what crack are you smoking?

Get the fuck out of here and do something worthwhile with your time if you honestly find these topics so disturbing. If not then shut up, sit down and let people enjoy their fandom experience however they see fit. Because this right here? This treating fictional characters like they matter, like they’re real people? It’s not fucking cute. And as someone who was raped from the time I was eleven until I was eighteen by a family member I can safely say that you aren’t doing shit to help anyone with this holier than thou, I know better than you crusade.

And that is the goddamn truth whether you like it or not.

[taesbetch]

To Own A Hybrid P.4

Pairing: Jungkoook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff (eventual smut) Hybrid!AU

Summary: The hybrid world was one y/n never really involved herself in; however, after certain events, she is tossed into a world of uncertainty in the company of a particularly rude hybrid. 

Word count: 3.5K + 

WARNING: Mentions of abuse, emotional torment, and prostitution 

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5

The warmth surrounding your body was a mixture of suffocating and relaxing.

The room was still dark but you could tell by the chirping of birds and the slight blue glow entering through your curtains that the sun was coming up.

A groan of morning blues made its way through your body before you tried to remove yourself from Jungkook’s death grip.

“Jungkook” you whined as you shoved him lightly stirring him awake.

As Jungkook adjusted to his sudden surroundings he matched your whine before rolling over to the other side of the bed.

thankful for your sudden ability to move you quickly jumped out of bed and stretched your limbs getting ready to start the day.

“wait!” Jungkook yelled as you started to move away from the bed. You turned to him shocked at his sudden outburst. He had sat up to face you, his hand reaching out in a stop motion as his eyes were trained to your figure as if you would disappear if he looked away.

“where are you going? Are you leaving?” he asked calmly but you could see the slight panic in his eyes.

“to the toilet… you can stand at the door if that makes you feel more comfortable” you joked as you sat back on the bed scooting closer to a previously shaken Jungkook.

He rolled his eyes before staring down at his hands.

“Jungkook what happened last night? Who are you afraid of?” you asked softly as he bit his lip nervously.

“its fine, I’m just not used to not having to worry or be on guard” he argued as his eyes travelled back up to yours.

“well…if you need any help getting used to it, I’m here! I can’t do much but…if there’s anything you want or want me to do, just ask, okay?” you stated shooting him a wide smile.

Jungkook was speechless as he stared at you with emotionless eyes.

“don’t you have to pee”

“oh, right!”

—-

While you waited for Jungkook at the table your stomach decided it couldn’t hold back its lust for the waffles that sat in front of you.

“you really couldn’t wait?” Jungkook asked as he walked towards, disappoint painted over his features.

You merely shrugged as your attention couldn’t be torn from your one and only.

“what are we doing today?” he asked as your phone repeatedly lit up.

Both of you stared at your phone in annoyance as the light bleeped up and down. You groaned before replacing the fork in your hand with the hard piece of metal.

“who is it?” Jungkook asked before downing his glass of cold water to wash down his waffles.

You furrowed your brows at the frantic texts you had just received from Namjoon.

‘y/n can you please call me when you get this’

‘it’s urgent’

‘it’s about the route you created for Mr. So please call me’

You quickly fumbled with your phone trying call Namjoon in a hurry. As your phone began ringing you pressed it to your ear, balancing it between your shoulder as you continued eating.

“Y/n! thank god you answered!” Namjoon rushed as you heard him try to compose his breathing.

“are you okay? What’s wrong?” you asked quickly, confused as to why he was so panicked so early in the morning “you said something was wrong with my route?”.

“can you come over? Feel free to bring Jungkook! You. You just need to see this for yourself to believe me” he said in a low voice. You could literally hear the sweat dripping from his forehead as you left the phone silent.

“okay sure…just send me your address” you confirmed before hanging up. After a moment of staring at your phone in confusion your eyes slowly connected with Jungkook’s’.

“all you had to do was create a route, right? What could go wrong with that?” Jungkook asked before grabbing your plate and his and taking them to the dishwasher.

You furrowed your brow before your phone lit up indicating that Namjoon had sent you his address.

—

As you pulled up to Namjoons driveway you almost gasped at how beautiful his house was.

From looking at Namjoon you would guess that he was a wealthy man, but not this fucking wealthy.

“don’t you work the same job?” Jungkook asked in almost a whisper as he admired the three-story house.

“kinda, Namjoon is basically my superior. I never knew how superior though” you replied as the two of you walked towards his front door.

The wooden block in front of you didn’t hold a doorknob, nor a door bell. It was just a large plank of wood.

“what the fuck” you stated as you looked around it to see if there was a hidden button or something.

‘are your y/n y/l/n’

You let out a shriek of surprise before staring at the door in complete shock. His door fucking talks?!

“did it just talk?” Jungkook asked in disbelief as he got himself ready to bolt back to the car. You looked at Jungkook before clearing your throat and turning back to the door.

“er, yes?” you spoke uncertain.

The door didn’t reply instead it opened widely, letting you and Jungkook marvel at the all-white decorated inside, a complete contrast to the dark brown outside.

All you could do was walk with your mouth hung open as the two of you entered the gates of heaven.

“you’re here! Great! Jungkook please make yourself feel comfortable, Taehyung and Yoongi will show you around! y/n, just this way” he stumbled as he grasped your arm in his hand and pulled you in the direction he had just come from.

Even though Jungkook had been instructed to a certain direction you could hear the hesitation and anger the further you were pulled away from him.

“Namjoon, what’s all this about? What’s wrong with my route?” you asked as he shut his computer room. As he fumbled with a small panel near the door, you took the time to look around the darkened room.

This is probably his porn room…

The multiple desktops staring at you was kind of overwhelming, but not as overwhelming at the live streaming anti- hybrid protest playing on the main monitor.

Your eyes narrowed as you stalked closer to it, trying to pay attention to what they were saying.

“Groups of Hybrid haters from all around the nation gather here today as various hybrids are being shipped for the pristine hybrid contest. The angered locals are all fighting for one thing. The decrease of hybrids” the news lady reported as numerous citizens thrust their signs in the air and strained their throats as they shot rude comments towards anything with ears.

“what does this have to do with my route?” you spoke softly as you watched the news report with sadness.

With a sigh Namjoon shut the monitor off before sitting down next to you.

“Namjoon, what’s going on?” you asked in utter confusion.

“I know you literally just got into the whole hybrid world and this is confusing but I need your help. Once every year, hybrid owners from all around the world come here to participate in the world-famous hybrid contest. I don’t know if you know this but I’m a leader of a hybrid protection group, basically we just make sure everything goes down smoothly, and even though I hate the idea of using hybrids as show animals a lot of people try to hurt them so it’s best to have everyone on guard. Lately our spies and intel have been informing us that an Anti-hybrid group known as S.T.M is going to try and kidnap the contestants, these people are known to sell hybrids, torture them…kill them. we can’t let this happen- “he explained.

“yes- and that’s terrible, don’t get me wrong…but how do I come into this?” you asked nervously.

“we recently just got a copy of the blueprints their going to use for sneaking the hybrids away without being caught.” He stated as he clicked away on his computer.

You voiced your shock when you laid your eyes on the route you had slaved so hard over. Trying to find the perfect nooks and cranes of the town, finding places that were discrete and narrow…

Your eyes were glued to the work that you had produced, completely confused at how they ended up in the hands of the enemy.

“w-w-what…no way…there’s…it was for Mr. So” you stuttered as a small tear fell from your eyes. You had been used. Not only used but used for such a disgusting and morally incorrect cause.

“we…we think Mr. So is the leader of S.T.M…and we think some people that work in our office are part of it too” he spoke softly, clearly seeing you were having trouble taking in all this information.

“you…y-you don’t think I’m part of this right?” you asked worriedly getting ready to defend yourself.

“no! of course not! Oh god y/n that’s not what I intended!” he exclaimed as his hand rose to grasp yours comfortingly.

“you took in a sassy hybrid” he said with a smile “of course I didn’t think it was you”.

You took a deep breath before staring back at Namjoon.

“who do you think it is?” you asked with a low voice, still refusing to believe the fact that someone you know would help in ridding the world of hybrids.

“I really don’t know y/n…all I know is we have to stop it. Now I need you to think. I know your far from slack and you never cut corners but…there has to be something you missed…some way we can both provide evidence to lock Mr. So up just in case we can’t stop this from happening” Namjoon pleaded.

“I-I don’t know…” you said as your eyes glazed over the prints. You were extremely tired and constantly thinking about Jungkook, there must be a flaw somewhere…

“y/n…Right there!” Namjoon pointed out excitedly

Your eyes widened as you saw the intersection between the main street and the back alley, right where they would be crossing a small door guarded by an even small camera stood, ready to film it all.

Your sudden excitement was demolished when you realised something.

“that was too easy…no…we need a backup, they had to of seen that” you said shaking your head, going straight back into searching mode.

“what night is this taking place?” you asked as your eyes magnetised towards watch tower building. One that stood taller than all buildings in the city.

“the 23rd…why?” he asked before pulling up yet another language.

“isn’t that when the mayor is supposed to be Leaving town?” you asked curiously as a plan started to form.

With a quick nod from Namjoon. A smile made its way onto your face.

“you won’t need evidence, you can just catch them in the act” you said quickly before writing a few numbers down.

“Kasey from floor 2 told me that instead of flying him from the watch tower per usual, they’re driving him to the airport and transporting him by plane, she had the honour of designs roadworks. She’s the only one who will know the blocked roads. I’m betting one of them will be the intersection between here…and here” you said pointing towards the blue prints.

“cutting them off at the fish porting sight…of course! They wouldn’t fly the hybrids out. They’d ship them. the doc would be quiet and everyone would be to focused on the welcoming of hybrid watchers to notice!” Namjoon said excitedly.

“you can trust Kasey, she owns a hybrid and never leaves her house, only to hand in her work” you smiled as you passed him the slip of paper.

As Namjoon carefully slipped it in his desk you bit your lip anxiously.

“this is quite dangerous huh?” you asked quietly as you observed Namjoons’ behaviour.

For as long as you’ve known him, Namjoon has always been a brave soul. Rushing into action. Leading those who need to be lead… anything you needed he’d help with.

“just a little…yer” he smiled softly as you played with your hands “don’t worry! I’m careful!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his supposed to be comforting statement. The boy was anything but careful. If anything, doom and destruction seemed to follow him everywhere.

“I…just feel like I should be doing more, but…I’m not sure how I would help” you admitted guiltily.

“hey, don’t feel guilty…you were literally thrown into this world. You’re doing well, don’t sweat it for now” he said soothingly, his classic dimples presenting themselves for you to swoon over.

“okay…hey, what does S.T.M stand for?” you asked curiously.

“Superiority Too Mankind”

—–

“were never coming back here again!” Jungkook hissed as he slammed the car door shut angrily.

You laughed before reversing the car, getting ready to head home.

“what happened? Too much joy and happiness for this little kitty?” you teased in a baby voice, knowing he’d hate every second of it.

“Jungkook do’ya wanna see my collection of Star Wars figures?! Do’ya play! Do’ya wanna this, do’ya wanna that!” he imitated mockingly.

He groaned before slapping his palm to his face.

“and don’t even get me started about that other fucking pompous filthy dog” he said seething before letting out a huff of disbelief. All you could do was laugh, you would certainly be seen Namjoon again which meant somewhere along the line, Jungkook and his ‘new friends’ would meet as well.

“So, what’s the big deal? Why was he so nervous about your route?” he asked curiously as he turned to you.

Keeping your eyes on the road you contemplated telling him or not. Even though this was the beginning of your new relationship you didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t trust you with his thoughts, feelings or past.

If you kept this from him now, who knows what he’d keep from you in the future. It wasn’t a good foot start on. But then there was the whole ‘hybrid thing’. Would he get upset? is that Namjoon kept it between just the two of you?

“do you really wanna know?” you asked cautiously causing Jungkook to raise an eyebrow and heighten his curiosity.

He nodded quickly before perking his ears up.

“okay but you can’t tell anyone” you stated knowing full well that he has no one to tell, which is kind of sad…oh shit.

“okay, well…That route that I created turns out to be for not just one of my company’s biggest CEOs but for the leader of S.T.M only just the biggest anti- hybrid groups out there” you sighed in disappointment.

Jungkook stared at you in shock as you sent him a nod of confirmation.

“what’s he gonna do about it?” Jungkook asked, with a tinge of…something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“well, Namjoon is the leader of a protection group; they stop stuff like this all the time” you assured confidently to which you were responded with a scoff.

“please…rescue missions never work out. In the end, the hybrids always end up burnt” he said, venom dripping from his lips.

You sat in shock at Jungkook’s comment as if he had experienced it himself. You wanted to ask but didn’t want to push any boundaries.

“I think he’ll do it” you shrugged before silence fell over the car.

—

“Hey girl!”

Fuck.

Krystal.

You had momentarily forgotten the promise you had made to her.

Shooting Jungkook an apologetic look before reading yourself for an unwanted hug.

“are you ready for our movie marathon!!” she screeched excitedly, blocking your pathway too your door.

Your eyes trailed over to BamBam’s who looked like he wanted to end his life.

“didn’t I say…Thursday?” you said suddenly questioning everything. She nodded excitedly as you checked your phone….it was Tuesday…Tuesday morning.

“I just couldn’t wait!” she said before grabbing your keys and unlocking your apartment. As she skipped inside you, Jungkook and BamBam exchanged looks before groaning in defeat.

It’s going to be a long day.

—

Jungkook was three seconds away from screaming as Krystal, for the twentieth time in two hours tried to touch his ears.

“Krystal! Maybe we should switch places” you said as you stood up from your spot next to BamBam. Krystal pouted before nodding her head and starting to move.

“noooo, please y/n, don’t leave me!” BamBam pleaded quietly. You sent him a sinister smile before going over to join an angered Jungkook.

“how much longer?” Jungkook asked as he shifted in his spot.

“a long time” you sighed as you sunk into the couch, trying to focus on the movie and not Krystal’s constant blabbering.

“hey, question” Jungkook said as he leant closer to you.

You hummed in acknowledgement, signally him to continue.

“are…you and Namjoon a thing?” he asked.

“what? No, of course not” you said shaking your head. Namjoon was a friend and a work college, nothing else.

“it’s just…in the mall when we first met the hybrids from hell, he said ‘you’re y/n?’ that means Namjoons been talking about you. He always calls you for help, like does he not know anyone better?” Jungkook argued curiously.

“maybe Yoongi heard of me because I was the one Namjoon called for that whole robot disaster. I could hear other people when we spoke. And excuse you, I’m more than capable of helping! And maybe he just trusts me?” you argued back.

Jungkook shrugged before stretching out his limbs.

“to be honest…I’m not sure if I hate this more than being over there” he admitted causing you to laugh as he stared at the still rambaling Krystal.

You grabbed one of the couches cushions before putting it on your lap.

“here” you said before shoving his head down to lie down “it’ll go much faster if you sleep” you whispered before turning up the T.V in hopes of drowning out her voice.

Jungkook mumbled a couple of things that weren’t audible before shuffling his head around and repositioning his body.

—-

Seeing that Jungkook had fallen asleep, Krystal and BamBam left.

You didn’t want to wake the sleeping kitten so you just continued with your marathon before eventually getting uncomfortable in the position you had successfully remained in for 5 hours.

Before a sigh of boredom could escape your lips Jungkook’s body shot up. His eyes were dazed and confused but his breath was shaky and frantic.

“whoa! Hey there!” you exclaimed in shock as your hands hovered around the alarmed boy.

“y/n?” he asked unsurely as he calmed down.

“yer, hey, I’m here” you confirmed as he moved his body back to the sitting position he was in before. He took a deep breath before resting his head against the back of the couch.

“are you ever going to get a peacefully sleep?” you asked as you watched him carefully.

He sighed in uncertainty before lifting his head and meeting his hard eyes with your concerned ones.

“I was told once…ya’know by a friend that…that if I talk about my problems and fears, that they’ll go away…is that true?” he asked softly as he searched your eyes for the answer.

“I-I-I wouldn’t say go away…but they become easier to manage; and instead of them controlling you, you control them” you answered as his eyes trailed to his hands.

“it’s a lot…and…I don’t want to talk about all of it…I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. But if I do talk about it…will you listen?” he asked as his ears flopped down, his eyebrows furrowed as his hands slightly shook.

“of course, I’ll listen” you replied instantly.

His eyes connected with yours once more as the setting sun shone through the windows. The silence was comforting and warm as Jungkook’s walls began to chip away.

“then I think I’m ready to talk about it”

I usually post on fridays but this ones late! Hope you enjoyed it xx - Awkward Nugget

[askcommisaryarrick]

Lord Commissar Log #3 Of Men and Marines

-Yarrick turns back on the recording device and the Vox. Now rested he adjusts his cap and clears his throat-

“It has, come to my attention that my words are reaching out across some of the nearby systems and the Imperium itself. I have received...mixed feelings. Some have welcomed my words and say I motivate soldiers and people alike. I heard a rumor that the Crimson Fists chapter played my words to the people of Rynn’s World as they rebuilt. Of course, I have received negative responses. Chaplain Grimauldus has told me to keep my opinions to myself or, restrain them to a degree. The Officio Prefectorum has also told me not to criticize their methods in training Commissars and officers. Very well, I will not criticize their methods, but that does not mean I will be silent.”

-He takes a sip of recaff and continues, his power klaw hissing as it holds a few pieces of paper containing the ideas of what he wants to talk about-

“Today, I wanted to speak of the Adeptus Astartes, the Angels of Death, the Emperor’s own Space Marines...and I feel as though 100 pairs of eyes are now staring at me inside this Black Templar ship. Regardless I must address this, but let me begin by saying that I have the utmost respect for the Angels of Death...some of them anyway. The Blood Angels, the Salamanders, the Space Wolves, SOME Ultramarines and the Raven Guard have been known to respect and even care for the individual citizen be they soldier or non-combatant. Yet, I am afraid I must name names. I wish I had the chance to meet Chapter Master Dante, I feel like he and I would have had much to talk about. I met Captain Tycho but...there’s not much of him left to talk too after the rage took him.”

“Enough reminiscing however, I need to address this. I want to make it clear again, that I have nothing but respect for the Angels of Death, but I feel as though they don’t understand what kind of message they leave on ordinary citizens or soldiers. When the Salamanders came to assist us on Armageddon they were a great morale booster. They talked with the men, ate with them, patrolled with them, shared stories with them, it did things that no Commissar or officer could ever do. It showed the men that the marines were just as human as they were. They were motivated to fight just as hard if not harder than the marines so they too could prove themselves as glorious defenders of the Imperium.”

“But the Black Templars... when I first met High Marshall Helbracht, I was told that he believed that every non combatant life was expendable. I told him that he could -REDACTED BY THE INQUISITION-. Do the Angels of Death, really see us as nothing more than a nuisance? Do we mean so little to them? I understand they are our greatest warriors but I sometimes wonder if they know just how much we have to sacrifice and give up to do what they could accomplish in one day. I was once asked, if I believed that we Guardsmen are superior to Space Marines. No, there is no superiority. We are ONE species, united under the Emperor. We are the Anvil and the Space Marines are the hammer. It is together that we strike down the enemies of man, and carve our place among the stars. I only wish that we could share a mutual trust and respect of each other. I tire of seeing Guardsmen worship the Angels, only for their worship to be stepped on as they are deemed “liabilities.” The next marine to call my men as such will face me. I have seen what they have seen and I will not stand to see them insulted.”

@askrobouteguilliman40k @ask-the-lord-of-drakes @ask-lorgar-aurelian @asklionjonson @asktheravenlord @asksanguinius40k

((RP here if you wish, its fine by me))

[likewaterintodryearth]

Send me a character & I’ll answer the following about them! : Attolia Irene from the Queen’s Thief

general opinion:

I’m tongue tied and paralyzed even trying to begin to do justice to this profile of Irene because she is my most favorite fictional character of all time. I hang off of every sliver, every bit, slight mention, and mere allusion to anything that has anything to do with her,  in canon and head canon.  I am here on earth to unlock my own ‘Queen of Attolia’ and so in her the character’s growth and unveiling, I feel as if I am living a part of me that has yet to come on the physical timeline and has always been encoded in my DNA. For lack of better words,  I feel Irene like Costis does, in the fanfiction story, “Dance Me to Your Beauty” by Oshun

( https://archiveofourown.org/works/8883880 ) ...he missed no slight tightening of her lips in irritation or quaver of uncertainty. He noticed her every soft inhalation or straightening of her shoulders whenever a courtly function ran on too long. The times he had detected faint lavender circles under her eyes, he obsessively wondered what prevented her from resting well... I love her brokenness.  Her vulnerability so tightly, elegantly hidden by power and strength.  Two seemingly contrasting ideas are so equally real in Irene.  I love the tears that she won’t shed. I love Eugenides for kissing her so softly that they are coaxed to fall.  I love her every hesitation. I love the time and patience it takes across multiple novels for her to finally thaw and unveil herself as the good, kind, sweet, thoughtful, sensitive, moral, merciful person that she is. I love how Eugenides draws such tenderness out of her after a lifetime of being almost broken by the demands placed on her to fight for her life and her people. I love how Eugenides and Irene are so clearly the same soul after the most traumatizing, polarizing events imaginable unfolded between them, stuff only two halves of one soul could overcome together through each other’s love.  I love how great their fear is of each other and yet their love for each other is even greater and how they always ultimately choose that love over the fear. Irene is the very symbol to me of how nobody, none of us, is truly how we appear on the outside. She is my daily encouragement to Look and See beyond the masks, the petty annoyances.  Irene is my shining hope for the world around me where everyone hides behind a mask and guards their softness and sweetness and vulnerable nature carefully as they try to navigate a world still tempered with predatory harshness.

fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level:  Well this is a given.  She’s the Queen of Attolia, the perfectly gorgeous, to the point where she seems ethereal amidst mere average humans.   I find it more compelling to explore Irene’s personal relationship with her beauty, which she refers to dismissively, flippantly as “just a mask” when Phresine prods her about how time’s a ticking and she’s still single (in QoA). Irene sees her beauty as a convenient tool, a necessary weapon and means to power, power not born from selfish ambition or greed like it is for many men, but an innate instinct to fight for her own physical and moral survival and that of her country.   I find myself acutely aware of how although she owns it fully and maximizes its use, Irene does not revel in her own beauty, that it is a tripled edged sword to her. I don’t find Irene to be at all vain about her superior aesthetics in the way that Kamet is vain about his talents. In fact, it’s clear to me that she feels shame for how her beauty is the only thing that can people can see in her to the point where it reinforces an image of herself that she knows not to be her truth and yet she cannot escape it. The mask that grows heavier to bear, with each passing day that it leaves her feeling old and exhausted. The infamous exchange from TT, where she flushes deeply when Eugenides tells her “You are more beautiful, but [the Queen of Eddis] is more kind.” just screams of shame.  Which just makes me love her more and want to hug her... which she would probably not let me do because she is “slow to trust” and so I hope that Eugenides hugs her and holds her close and helps her feel safe, on all of our behalf.

Irene would be the first one to tell us that being beautiful does not bring her any closer to happiness, in the way that all the wealth in the world could neither buy it.  However subtle, I feel this to be one of MWT’s most potent intended messages to counter the soul crushing weight of all the patriarchal, hegemonic, one dimensional fairy tales foisted upon us since days of old that try to tell us that the value of the feminine lies in appearance alone. get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: Irene has so many layers, is so multidimensional that I’m sure she embodies all of the houses at once, especially as she awakens to her own divinity.  However, if you want me to answer this question based on more initial impression, she’s melancholic, ruthless and goth-y, so Slytherin.  Just as I say that, I’m not fully comfortable saying it because all the nefarious bad guys are slytherins and I want Irene to be surrounded by people who will help her feel sheltered and nurtured after a lifetime of having to pretend that she doesn’t long for and need both of those qualities in the people around her.  I don’t think she was able to recognize it in herself until she got a chance to be those things for Eugenides after she crippled him because she was afraid of what he would and could do to her while she slept surrounded by an inflated palace guard immune to nothing... but him. gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff best quality: Her jealousy and envy of the Queen of Eddis.  Although it didn’t amount to any pleasant exchanges for the two queens or to good international relations, I’m intentionally putting it under “Best Quality” because it shows that Irene longed for the balance between masculine and feminine the Helen was fortunate to have her entire life. It shows that Irene longed for Truth.  I love that despite her lady-like and feminine outward appearance, Irene would also have loved to learn how to use a sword, fight her own battles, ride a pony as a child, swim, hunt and basically “run wild in the mountains” as Helen did. A lot of girls and women I know are perfectly satisfied being “girly,” don’t even think to question the binary masculine/feminine construct, see nothing wrong with the limitations of their gender-body assignment, and never think about how they are unconsciously imprisoned by them. 

worst quality: Nothing. Irene is perfect in my eyes. I feel her sadness, her ever-increasing joy, the beginnings of real laughter, her rage, her strength, her endurance, her patience, her fear, her boldness, her shyness, her wisdom, her child-like responses that she suppresses, how when she says she feels old, it’s because she feels tired and sad. I don’t find her scary. I find her to be scared. It’s interesting to note, I teach English to students in Korea and they’re always confusing “scary” with “scared” and in Irene’s case, the two are actually interchangeably one and the same.  ship them with:  Eugenides, of course.  He is her perfect match, her twin flame, her twin soul, her divine counterpart, her split soul, her other half.  He is the god to her goddess. He Saw her when nobody else did.  He saved her as she saved him.  I also love the idea of Costis being equally in love with both of them and both of them welcoming him into their bed and their intimate lives. Again, my main influence is “Dance Me to Your Beauty” by Oshun (fanfic link above).  Just as much as I love the idea that Eugenides and Irene saw Costis’s future with Kamet and set them up together in a unified divine pairing of comparable high vibration.  brotp them with: I love Irene and Helen’s begrudged, cautious woman-to-woman, peer to peer friendship. I love when Irene caves to Helen in QoA:  and tells her she likes her even when she didn’t think she would.  I love that Helen is willing to give Irene another chance. I really feel like Irene didn’t truly mean to be awful when she “poured vitriol” into Helen’s ear at Helen’s coronation; perhaps there was a little ego in it but Irene was honestly sharing herself and yet I also understand how Helen, having never known Irene’s neglect and abuse, perceived it as more negative than intended.  Irene pretty much gives the same advice to Sophos years later and he actually takes the advice with reasonable success. I love that Irene routinely accepts Helen’s advice on how to “handle” her husband.  I love the moment when Irene comes to Helen’s aid one of the few times it’s actually Helen who’s in need of support, when the fact that she’s in love with Sophos hits her like a pile of bricks too late. I adore that Helen so fully accepts Irene’s support, by holding tightly to her. In how Irene took Helen’s hand in that moment, I feel like Irene was also apologizing for how she’d treated Helen for all those years previous.  

I also brotp Irene and Sophos.  I love how it’s clear that as she’s still learning how to have functional, trusting friendships, how she looks to Eugenides for guidance and she’s clearly in awe of Gen’s close friendship with Sophos, shown through the softness of her voice whenever she asks Gen about him... I love how even in CoK, she’s still thawing and really, in her own rigid, chilly way she’s generously pouring her heart out to Sophos by offering him everything she knows about ruling a country to him on their walks. And Sophos, needing the reassuring warmth that he receives from Helen to be confident in himself, doesn’t fully understand how Irene is reaching out to him and remains scared of her. I sense that after the miscarriage undoubtedly shatters Irene into the billion pieces that are necessary for her to fully begin again, healed and anew, that Irene and Sophos will have their own close friendship that won’t be so stressful to Sophos.  I brotp (ship?) Irene with Costis!  I love the idea of Irene and Eugenides being willing to share their bed with Costis occasionally, and Costis alone because of his “confounded, asinine, patron sense of honor”.... because there’s something powerful about trust being so strong within a primary relationship that both partners can open themselves to loving and allowing their significant other to love a third person without jealousy.  Being that Eugenides and Irene are otherwise both “very jealous people,” that they would trust Costis, and trust each other with Costis.... the thought, the fantasy of all of them together leaves me breathless.  And not to leave Costis as always second in line, the third wheel, through their masterminding, Kamet enters Costis’s life for the best and the pairings reach a satiating equilibrium. I brotp Irene and Kamet, because in a different way than Eugenides and Irene are exactly alike, Kamet and Irene too are exactly alike. They seem to have an already established, comfortable connection with each other. They are astoundingly, heart achingly similar in their histories of abuse, enslavement and profound mistrust.

needs to stay away from: I dunno.  Nahusaresh?  That seems to be handled.  I appreciate that Irene knows how to flirt in the regular, benign, basic-bitch kind of way (she learned it from Chloe) and then totally bends Nahusaresh over with it in deception, cunning on the level of her husband, yet in a manner all her own.  In contrast, the way she actually flirts with Eugenides is completely fatalistic. misc. thoughts: I love that it’s clearly stated that Irene wasn’t necessarily considered immediately beautiful or graceful as a child or adolescent.  I love that her earth-shattering, goddess-evoking beauty was something that she grew into and her regal grace was something that she practiced. I love that she was a quiet, shy, awkward girl in stunning contrast to the woman she had to become. Although she grows out of the awkwardness, I get so vividly that the real Irene is STILL quiet and shy even when Attolia is commanding, enduring, regal and not to be fucked with.  

I love that in a similar way that MWT organizes our six protagonists in perfect contrast with each other, three light skinned (Irene, Sophos, Costis) three dark skinned (Eugenides, Helen, Kamet), three masculine and male bodied (Eugenides, Costis, Sophos), and three feminine and/or female bodied (Irene, Helen, and Kamet-- clearly a feminine energy in a male body... e.g. Godekker referring to him as “pretty.”) she also subtly has a yin-yang balance going on in each character’s athleticism/physical abilities.  I see this as being the three who seemed to be at ease and capable inhabiting their bodies from the beginning vs. the lesser athletes who had to grow into their athletic abilities later on: On one side, Eugenides, Obviously. I mean, the one-handed handstands, the master duelist, leaping across rooftops, for fucks sake!  Enough said. The more subtle of the three, but I feel still deserves this category: Helen, a trained soldier since childhood, in stance and skill, “not quite as dangerous as a male soldier twice her size,” but alarmingly close. AND OH MY GOD COSTIS.  I will never, ever forget how that scene in TAT where he stealthily breaks the necks of the slavers and then catlike, sets to work undoing their chains, kills multiple soldiers with one stone (as Gen can), muscles rippling at every turn, stealing from mountain lions, reading how strong, strapping, competent a soldier and survivalist Costis is was nothing short of ecstatic.  These three all probably know how to swim (even Gen with one hand). On the other side, the lesser athletes, the ones that had a learning curve learning how to be comfortable and capable in their bodies:  Sophos who was mediocre or downright wimpy at most things physical for a good part of childhood, luckily puberty was generous to him and enslavement was strengthening.  Sophos turned out admirably, or at least passably strong, capable and competent, shooting a pistol, shoveling dirt, building walls.  Oooh my mouth was watering when MWT described how his shoulders had broadened from the hours of fieldwork.  Helen might possibly be better at fighting a battle than him (or maybe he was just being humble when he was talking about how he was waving his sword around trying not to cut the ears off his own horse, lol)... And I don’t even need to say anything about Kamet, who keels over like a flower at even the most remote of physical demand, who has to be towed along in shallow water, Kamet needs no explaining here.  And then Irene.... the disadvantage of being genetically inclined to being built like a supermodel is the initial growth spurts are jarring... she occasionally gets “ungainly with hesitation.”  Categorizing Irene on this side is probably more because as an Attolian female, her culture kept her chained to a loom and denied her the chances to explore her physical potential until much later in life where she learned to ride and hunt on horseback and use knives and shoot pistols. Like Sophos, I imagine Irene ended up perfectly competent, but the learning curve was longer for these three (and even Kamet gets whipped into shape on his journey across the empire).  However, someone needs to teach Irene and Kamet how to swim... I know this is insanely long but I just could not stop!  and I thought about cutting it into pieces... I might still to make it more manageable, yet there’s something satisfying about letting it all flow forth until it doesn’t and seeing the thought process as complete. @amuseoffyre @artfrostedleaf @goatfoot-of-attolia @hamiathiesgift @hamiathesgiftexchange @gaycostis @eddisian @eddis-attolia-sounis @shebsart @mander-draws @november-branches @queenofattolia @queensandkingsofattolia @fuckyeahqueensthief @queensthiefobsession @queensthieffanfiction @ladyvoh @eediis @eddisianrchive @goatfoot-of-attolia @go-to-bed-eugenides @survivablyso @eileenpotter @throwaninkpot @bookaddict7342 @ibmiller Please know that if I tagged you in this... it’s because I know you to be passionate about the Queen’s Thief in some way and I hope to invite in the kind of dialogue about this extraordinary saga that so fills my soul.  (whether be it by reblog posts, or rapid fire one on one messaging) Please consider any of the above to be prompts or I would gladly converse with you about anything else ... this is the kind of stuff I live for and I can hardly believe that there is a like-minded tumblr / sounis livejournal community that also lives for it.