#every now and then i think about trying to get a new job but i don't handle change well
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Ok, I can agree with both people here to some degree, though I think a few things should be brought up.
First, Gore actually won the popular vote in Florida. The Supreme Court stopped the recount that proved that Gore actually won, by a very slim margin. Second, instead of blaming Nader, as most mainstream democrats do, why don't they blame Jeb Bush for purging hundreds of thousands of people from the rolls who were alive and able to vote simply because their names corresponded to names of criminals in other states. This is still done btw every single election in republican run states.
Second, I don't blame all of the voters in the last election, republican or democrat. I don't blame the people who have no time to do the research because they work 60+ hours a week, have families to take care of and spend time with, or those who gladly lapped up the propaganda about Biden and Trump.
There is a caveat to that thought though. Being an informed voter is the responsibility of the people voting. Are you as a voter doing anything at all to learn about the candidates? Are you only getting your information from Fox and the like or RT or Sputnik or whatever? If so, you are slurping up that good ole propaganda and learning virtually nothing. Don't get me wrong, a lot of media outlets have some form of propaganda or slant to their news, but in aggregate, it isn't hard to determine some basic facts about a candidate even with all the partisan BS.
Believe it or not but Trump was not a normal republican president last time. He was crass, cruel, and tried numerous times to do things that his staffers said and warned him were illegal. He was impeached twice for doing things that no other president had done, especially inspiring the coup on January 6th. He also nearly led us into war with North Korea and Iran. We were on the brink of war with North Korea, and suddenly things changed when Russia spoke with both Trump and Un. What did they say that changed the heat? They probably told Trump that Kim wasn't really that bad and that he should be the bigger man and do some outreach, and they told Kim that all you had to do to get anything from Trump was flatter him, because he is an absolute moron.
Biden wasn't a great president, but honestly he really only did two terrible things. He appointed Merrick Garland to oversee the DOJ, and though he was a great prosecutor, he moved far too slowly and initially only focused on the foot soldiers of the insurrection. He never even went after all the congress people who were also deeply involved. Other than that, Biden did what he has always done his entire career and that is to support Israel. He would not use his presidential influence to curb what was happening in Israel, and that turned a lot of good people away from him.
Kamala wasn't really in the running long enough to get a good footing, and she didn't try to differentiate herself from Biden that much, simply because much of what Biden was doing worked. Jobs were up, the economy got much better than the rest of the world, and actual wages were going up for the first time in nearly thirty years.
In the end if you listened to Trump for a single hour and Kamala for a single hour their demeanor, ideas, and temperament should have been enough to get people to do the right thing, but it wasn't. The blatant racism and cruelty espoused by Trump wasn't enough. The knowledge that Trump would support anything Israel wanted in Gaza wasn't enough. The constant lying and whining about 2020 wasn't enough. In the end, if you couldn't guess that some of what is happening now and what could be happening soon was on the table, then you were a fucking idiot or so deeply into a partisan whole that you really didn't care.
Americans failed in their responsibility, and now they will be paying the price for their inability to take this seriously.
Just to be a clear, I am not a democrat, and yet I have voted for them in the last three elections because only a god damn moron couldn't see what Trump is. I hated Hilary because she was untrustworthy, despite my same opinion that she was probably the most qualified candidate for that position in decades. I hated Biden because he really is part of the reason we have many of the problems we have today, and he has been out of touch with a lot of America for years. I had no problems with Kamala, except that she was embracing the right-wingers who gave us Iraq and the quagmire that was Afghanistan and didn't do enough to try and get democrats to vote for her. You can criticize Trump all day, but republicans don't care and are going to vote for him anyway. She needed to rebuild the coalition that was disintegrating because of Gaza and the DOJ's inaction.
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I know you did somno headcannons but what about pro hero’s and villains fucking the reader to sleep. Like just a tired reader who feels so safe and good that they doze off during sex. (Twice, Aizawa, dealers choice)
twice | aizawa | dabi x [fem]reader
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warning(s): sexual content, semi-somnophilia (?), fingering, p in v penetration, groping, cuddling, side position, mating press, fingering cum back into you (🤭), pre-established relationship.
read more: masterlist | adult masterlist | drabble masterlist
a/n: ughhhhh i hope these werent redundant! i actually had a bit of a spark to get this done so here it is. 🥴 thank you, anon!
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jin bubaigawara.
sweat breaks onto his forehead, but his pace slowly and surely comes to a rhythmic pace.
hard, accurate, but all so slow and gentle at the same time. the sounds that Jin's cock manages to draw out of you makes him want to speed up, but quite frankly you two had been at it since early this afternoon.
after spending time away from each other proved that not only does distance make the heart grow fond, it was everything in his right to prove that.
you mewl feeling his hand shift to grope your right tit as your languidly laid on your side, eyes fluttering and hips trying to fuck yourself on him. his moans and grunts are ever so present in your ear as its aggression softly lulls you to sleep, the type of lewdity that you missed from the days you two were separated for. he chuckles, breathlessly, as he looks at you trying so desperately to cling onto consciousness when everything in you was battling to do the opposite.
a soft 'shoo' slips it's way between your teeth and barely escapes your plump and bruised lips (from his kithes). once his hand that was once fondling your breast instead move to press it's large palm onto your lower abdomen, successfully making you painfully aware at how deep he reaches.
in a shameless bit to finish yourself as you were right there, your hand dj's your clit and does the job for you. it takes only but a few more thrusts for you to freeze and tighten up around his cock, a pathetic moan sounding from you as you finish. he wraps his arms around your waist and knocks his hips more ardently this time, wanting to finish, too. just the thought of you using him to get off was the kick-start to his own climax he was chasing.
soon enough in your now sleep state, the welcoming feel of his load paints your skin. he's biting, kissing, and muttering all sorts of praises of, 'i love you's' into your skin as you safely dose off into his arms.
you two would just do it again tomorrow if need be.
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shouta aizawa.
with your thighs pressed so firmly to your chest, and hands firmly pressed to the back of your knees only from the strength of your lover's hands.
it was cozy the way he was sloppily fucking himself into you. there was a squelch from each impact that would've embarrassed you if you were new to this. your gummy walls were almost too tight for his comfort, but Aizawa was never one to complain much. a grunt is all he combats the frustrated energy with as he attempts to speed up pace.
his eyes are glued to where you two meet; eyes so entranced at how pretty your pussy looks when it expertly takes his cock that he has to remind himself to look up every once in awhile to check on you to see if you were okay. dont get him wrong, he didn't think you were fugly or anything, his mand simply wanders in lust if he can't help it.
as his eyes trace it's way to your face as it gets on its journey to search your eyes, he can't help but notice your pretty lashes seem to stare back at him instead. he gives your hands a reassuring squeeze to check on if you're still with him, delighted to hear a distinctive—very slumber like—hum in acknowledgement. he's quick to swoop down and plaster a kiss onto your parted lips, tongue finding its way to pry at yours.
the intrusion has your eyes fluttering open again and focus starting to align itself with him. it's as if you regaining attention brings you to a full stop, mouth falling open and hips bucking him as you squeeze your eyes shut.
"cumming, cumming...!" you whimper. the short notice dully noted as you take your hands from underneath his and pull him into your body instead. he abandons the pose from earlier to let you wrap your legs around his waist, locking him in with nowhere else to go.
tirelessly he emptied his spunk into your cunt, and shamelessly does he snuggle himself into you as he relaxed against your body.
he'd have to switch to a better position soon, but tonight you'll sleep being full of him.
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touya todoroki.
"you tired?"
is heard through your sleep like state, body fueled with pleasure and drowsiness fighting tooth and nail to pull you under. you defiantly hum, "no", your brattiness bringing a smile to Dabi's lips.
he had just pulled out of you, wet length pressed against your bum and your half naked body snuggled into him. in an effort to entice him once more, you try grinding back into him, the gesture earning a playful spank from him. you whimper in protest.
"one more..." you lazily lift your head as you try reaching behind you to find his length. he half-heartedly chastises you with the call of your name, swatting your hand away despite your efforts.
he pulls you closer though (somehow it was possible) and he wraps his arms around your waist. he presses his face into your hair, inhaling your musk and closing his eyes in comfort at the familiarity of it all. his free right hand starts to roam your free skin, hand tracing the skin of your hip and thighs, surely taking it's time to get where it needs to.
unmistakenly you can still feel everything. his calming warmth, his calloused hands and his half-baked boner. you chuckle seemingly at the conclusion but quiet when his hand finally finds his way back between your thighs. you slightly open your thighs to help with his venture, softly humming at pressure of his digits palming your still slick folds.
your mouth drops open as he softly massages your pumpum, taking it's time with toying your nerves. he hums lowly when he withdraws to look at his digits glisten in the moon-lit room before taking them to his mouth and sucking on them for himself. it's sickening how his eyes roll back instinctively as he could never get tired of your taste, now wanting nothing more to fuck you again for the nth time tonight. instead he takes his hand back to insert two fingers into you, and smirking at the moist sound that comes from it.
some of his cum from the last round spilled out and it made no sense for it to go waste. he notes the way you slowly drift back into slumber and doesn't prolong the process. with utmost care, he stuffs the load back into your willing cunt. after a few pumps his hand finds itself wrapped around his abandoned cock and aligns his swollen tip to your hole. in the most gentle way possible, he thrusts himself in and reclaims his hold around your body again as Dabi drift off to sleep.
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#bnha x reader#mha x reader#twice x reader#twice smut#aizawa x reader#aizawa smut#dabi x reader#dabi smut#bnha smut#mha smut
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Emergency
MINORS DNI
Word Count: 8.2k
Tags: simon riley x reader, self-reader insert, simon riley x you
Warnings: SMUT, p-in-v, overstimulation, pain kink, mature, voice kink, fingering, oral sex, fluff
Looking up at the building's sign above your head, you were starting to think that this was a mistake. Maybe driving yourself to a sketchy address texted to you by your friend wasn't the best idea, and there was the possibility that she may be planning your funeral next week. The tan brick building was old and crumbling, but somehow still standing after all the weathering over the years. You pulled your phone out, double-checking the address from your messages, and yes, 869 Elvie Street was the correct address.
The events leading to this scenario started a couple of weeks ago when you mentioned to a friend that you were having some stress-induced pain due to your job.
"Have you tried getting laid?" was her first question.
After exclaiming to her that not every problem is fixed with sex, she provided the option of possibly seeing a chiropractor or massage therapist. You had gone over the suggestion in your mind, waiting a few days before texting her and asking for recommendations. She had a tried and true place she had been going for years, so you trusted her judgment.
"Now, don't be put off immediately. Simon doesn't have a lot to say, strictly work. Not the friendliest type but I swear he can pinpoint exactly where my pain is coming from and I feel like I'm on cloud nine when I leave his place. He's a private practice, so only one-on-one with him."
The issue with going there was that Simon’s hours conflicted with your work schedule, and it was extremely difficult to get time off. It took you a while to message him, but when you finally did work up the courage, you asked if there was any possible way he could stay a little late to work you into his schedule. You were met with the blunt reply of,
"No. - S”
And that was that. You didn't dare message again, determining that your pain wasn't actually that bad to manage and that you could deal with it. To be honest, you had forgotten all about the text and went back to work, keeping busy for the next several weeks. That is until the sharp pain shooting from your hip down into your groin was unbearable and you could hardly walk. You were never one to call off of work, but there was no possible way you would be able to get through the day in the state that you were currently in. Teeth gritting in pain, you called your friend, begging her to talk to Simon - put in that it was an emergency.
"Can you get yourself there by 10?" she had texted.
You shot a glance at the clock - 8:47. A soft groan left your lips, you had texted a short reply that you would be able to. Maybe you should have thought about it for a moment before sending an immediate reply. Typing in the address that your friend had given you, you were pleasantly surprised that it was only a few minutes down the road from your apartment. Slowly sliding to the edge of the couch, you grit your teeth in pain once again as you try putting your weight on your good hip. The sharp jabbing pain raced like fire down into your groin, causing you to cry out softly. You huffed in annoyance, slowly making your way to the bedroom to get dressed for your appointment.
It took a lot longer than you wanted, the attempt to put on a new pair of pants almost sending you into a fit of hysterics. You limp over to your bathroom vanity, taking a moment to brush your hair and then your teeth. Your eyes are a bit bleary with tears, so you blink them away, attempting to not look deranged. This is the best that you can do in your situation. Taking one final look at yourself, you huff yet again and make the long and painful route (typically a less than 2-minute walk down a short flight of stairs) to your car.
Shutting the door behind you, you lean on your good hip as you lock the front door to your apartment. It's a bit chilly out, the sun is not quite over the clouds this morning. A quick glance at your watch lets you know that you have about 15 minutes until your designated appointment. The familiar wash of anxiety starts from the crown of your head, making you shutter slightly as it passes down your shoulders and into your stomach. Everything would be okay... you told yourself (almost unconvincingly).
The ride over was quiet, opting to not listen to any music as you were already overstimulated. You followed the little arrow on the map, almost missing your turn because your thoughts were elsewhere. A quick parallel park of your car and you throw it into Park, letting out a deep breath before attempting to pull yourself out. You have your keys and phone in one hand, using the other to grab the handle above to use as leverage. Your good foot makes contact with the asphalt, digging in slightly as you hoist yourself up, careful not to jerk too quickly.
You stumble for just a moment, leaning against the now-closed car door before righting yourself once more and slowly making your way over to the sidewalk. Nervousness pulls in your stomach again. A glance to the left and right of your surroundings shows there are no other cars on the street that you're parked on. You tilt your phone up, opening up your messages to let Simon know that you're here.
A few moments go by in silence, and you shift your weight again, taking a look at your surroundings. A bell chiming grabs your attention and you look back towards the front door, surprise etching itself along your features as a man - you are guessing Simon, fills up the entrance. He appears almost out of nowhere, still as a statue as he stands there. He crosses his arms, stretching the grey t-shirt he has on to the point where they might almost bust out of the sleeves.
You blink rapidly, taking him all in. His dark eyes lock onto you, gaze unwavering. Brows furrowed slightly, the only available space you can see are his eyes. The lower half of his face is covered by a black surgical mask. Mysterious. You're at a loss for words, not knowing what to say. His gaze has you pinned to the spot, almost as if you were caught doing something particularly naughty.
A soft grumbling noise comes from his chest, a noise of annoyance as he rolls his eyes and turns back to walk back inside, letting the door fall back into its previous closed state. A frown tugs your lips downward, confusion whirling a spiraling pattern into your thoughts as you slowly hobble towards the door. You push it open, the bell chiming once again before the rush of the wind pulls the door shut quickly behind you, causing you to jump. Taking a look around the office, it's - as expected. Neat, white walls and grey wooden flooring. Nothing is decorating the small area, but surprisingly there are a few well taken care of monsteras by the front door. The air smells like eucalyptus and mint, a relaxing scent that causes your tightly drawn shoulders to droop just a bit.
You're not sure where Simon went so you stay by the front door, not wanting to be caught snooping around the office. He comes back just a few moments later, still silent as he steps forward and crowds your space. You inhale sharply, the faint smell of cigarettes and Earl Grey filling your nostrils. He reaches beside your head, flipping the deadbolt to the left - locking you both inside.
Heart fluttering in your chest, you grip your keys a bit tighter, watching as he turns quickly on his heel and disappears down the hallway.
"Down here, love," he calls, his deep voice reverberating off of the walls.
It takes you by surprise, a warm heat spreading in your belly. You somehow get your feet to move, brain short-circuiting as you try to actively process what the hell your friend got you into.
The room at the end of the hall is much cozier than the front office. Light grey walls and a carpeted floor, shelves full of herbs and salves, a long black bench, and a rack of towels are inside. Simon's sitting on a black rolling chair, legs spread out on either side of him. The soft glow of a lamp casts a variety of shadows in the room, making it a bit hard to see his face.
You are hesitant, but trust your friend and step forward into the room. Your eyes bounce around, taking everything in before landing back on Simon.
"Your friend said this was an emergency?" he asks coolly, eyebrows raising slightly.
You nod, pressing your lips together in a slight grimace, the pain of your hip dully radiating at the moment.
"What's bothering you?" he asks again, eyes flicking quickly over your form before landing back on your face.
You feel your cheeks flush, the rush of embarrassment hitting you quickly. A quick clear of your throat before you answer timidly.
"M-My hip."
His brows furrow for a moment before relaxing back on his face. He didn't pry, which you were grateful for. God only knows the thoughts running through his head at your answer. Simon beckons you closer and you oblige, trying your best not to put too much weight on your leg. He hums softly, almost as if confirming to himself what to do with you. You're standing rather close, the scent of him filling your nostrils again. It makes your stomach flutter.
"Can you sit?" he asks, dark eyes catching your gaze.
You nod, almost dumbly as you shuffle forward, turning and placing the back of your lower thighs flush with the black table. Leaning back slightly, you go to sit down when that flash of pain shoots down your leg again, causing you to gasp sharply.
Simon's hand wraps itself around your waist quickly, holding your weight for a moment while you try to steady yourself. Your brows furrow in pain, tears welling up as you look past him, staring at the wall and willing the moment to pass. Your body trembles slightly and you let out a huff of air, closing your eyes for a moment before opening them again. The moment has passed.
You notice his dark eyes on you again, cheeks flushing with the scrutiny of his gaze.
"Alright?" he asks lowly, eyes scanning your face again for any sign of pain.
You nod slowly and he helps you lower yourself on the table. You're seated now, resting for a moment as you tell him.
"Thank you..."
He hums softly again, the sound rumbling around in his chest. Simon steps forward, pushing himself up from the small stool he was sitting on. You sit there wondering how it manages to hold his weight. A light press on your shoulder from him, wanting you to lie on your back. The plushness of the table is comfortable, and you wiggle for a moment before deciding that you're comfy. It's hard to resist looking at him, large frame taking up your entire field of vision. You can't even see the door anymore.
Your eyes flutter closed, willing them to stop for a moment. Simon’s standing by your side, and you feel his large hand circle your ankle, pushing your knee up toward the ceiling. There's a slight pull again from your hip and you tense, wary of the oncoming pain.
"Relax," he murmurs.
You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and tell yourself to calm down. Blood rushing in your ears, you hear the familiar whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
"'M gonna try and stretch your hip flexor before I adjust you, alright?" he explains and you nod.
With one hand on your knee and the other circling your hip he starts with a small range of motion, moving your knee towards your chest and back out again. So far so good, minimal pain. His fingers squeeze into the fat of your hip, keeping it stable as he goes through a few motions for mobility. It's only when Simon moves your knee out parallel from your body that you cry out involuntarily, the sharp sensation pulling the breath from you.
You watch as his brows furrow once more and he squeezes your hip gently - an apology. Your breath quickens, eyes widening as he slowly moves your hip back to its original spot before doing it once more. The pain is there again, but not as sudden. You let out a shuttering breath, the anticipation of the imminent pain causing you to sniffle.
"There we go..." he murmurs.
His voice causes a wave of relaxation over your body, and you go pliant in his grip. The motions are becoming easier, less and less of the pulling pain as he stretches your hip out. It's become more of a dull ache, something that you could manage. He moves to your other hip, repeating the motions from just moments earlier. This one causes no problems at all. Your gaze flits up to the ceiling, watching the shadows of the light bounce as it reflects off of his movement. He releases your hip, and you immediately miss the contact. Simon shifts down to the edge of the table, holding both of your feet together as he examines the natural alignment of your hips.
"One's a bit shorter than the other," he explains, crouching down to look at which one to adjust through one squinted eye.
"Good news, it's not the injured one," you hear a hint of a smile in his voice.
You smile back softly in return, watching as his two large hands wrap around your right foot after letting your other leg drop gently to the table. He wiggles your foot slightly, loosening up your hip.
"Relax f'me," he instructs (and how could you with the sound of his voice making pleasure burn deliciously in your stomach).
Wiggling your foot one more time, he yanks back towards himself suddenly, a sharp crack! from your hip filling the room.
"Woah," you gasp out quietly.
He grabs your shoes again, checking the alignment before dropping them gently, satisfied that the adjustment did the job. Simon's large hand reaches out, an offer to help pull you into a seated position. His hands are calloused, but not super rough against your own skin. He gently lets go and whirls around to his shelves of salves, rummaging through before he finds some BioFreeze. It's in a small aluminum tin, the sharp smell of medical tincture burning your nose.
"Apply this once you get home, you're gonna be sore for a few days. Helps relax the muscles," he explains.
You pluck it gently from his fingers, twirling the tin in your own.
"I can't thank you enough..." you murmur, looking down in your lap.
He tuts softly, placing a hand on the small of your back and helping you up and off the black table. You look up at him once more, eyes focused on his mask as you ask,
"How much?"
"Consider it a favor for a friend," he says.
You're walking down the short hallway now, looking over your shoulder at him. He follows you to the door, reaching over to unlock the deadbolt before leaning back at a respectable distance once more.
"I can't just not pay you," you argue softly.
He shakes his head, a soft huff of a laugh falling from his lips.
"Heal that hip up and I'll think about it."
With that, he gives you a wink and opens the door for you, ushering you outside. Your mouth drops slightly, blushing at his words before you click your key fob to unlock the car. You grab the handle, missing it a few times before you finally yank the door open and hop inside, throwing your belongings in the passenger seat. The first thing you do is grab your phone, furiously typing your friend's phone number into the dial box. She picks up in two rings.
"Well...?" she prods, an obvious grin in her voice.
"Well-" you huff, putting your seatbelt on in a hurry as you start to drive, not even fully clicked in before you speed off. "I feel a lot better."
She laughs on the other end. "I told you! He's amazing! And sooo handsome too, even behind the mask.”
You laugh softly at that, nodding your head even though she couldn't see you.
"He wouldn't let me pay," you pout, tapping your fingers against the steering wheel as you drive home.
"Really?" she asks incredulously.
"Mhm..." you answer, thinking back to the conversation. "He told me to let my hip heal and that he would think about it." you continue. "He also-,"
"What? He what?" she prods, so excited it sounded like she was trying to jump through the phone.
"H-He winked at me when he said it," you blush deeply, thinking about his dark eyes staying glued to you the whole appointment.
"Oh my god!" she squeals. "You know what that means right?" she asks.
"No?" you answer, genuine confusion in your voice.
--
What it meant was that he wanted to fuck. Unbeknownst to you, Simon could barely keep himself appropriate when he opened the door to you that day. A client of his, your friend, had practically begged him to get you in. She declared your situation an emergency. It was an emergency all right, the emergency being that he wasn't stuffing your pussy full of his cock at this very second. It took all of his composure not to strip you down in his office and have you begging for more. Your little whimpers and cries of pain turned on that wicked part of his brain that got off on it. He kept replaying them in his head that night, thick fingers wrapped around the base of himself as he bucked into the tight fist he had made. Simon was seriously fucked up. He knew it but couldn't help himself. Couldn't help dipping into the temptation of the possibility of having your soft body underneath his own.
He wanted to know what you tasted like, what you felt like under his rough hands. He'd treat you well. Pulling every last little noise out of you that he could. The thought alone had him crying out hoarsely, covering his hand in the sinful act of imagination.
Good god.
Simon groaned, shame filling his stomach as he rolled off the side of the bed, strolling over to the bathroom in just a few steps to clean himself up.
What was he going to do?
--
The salve Simon had given you was a godsend. As he had told you, your hips were super sore over the next few days, but having the cooling salve helped ease the tense muscles. You had gone back to work, your friend pestering you every second about him. Simon...you sigh, shaking the thought of him from your mind. Something about him...
You had thought about texting him, but that would be weird. There was no absolute reason for you to have to see him again. Your hip was doing better, the overstretched ligament finally healing with the help of his hands. Oh, his hands... You reminisce on the feeling of having his long fingers wrapped around your hips, the gentle squeezes of comfort, the sure way he knew what to manipulate on your body to make you feel better.
God. You were fucked.
--
Things were going well for a couple of weeks until one Sunday evening, you had decided to take a bath and treat yourself to a nice evening. The water was scalding, just how you liked it, as you slid into the water, a long sigh escaping your lips as you soaked your weary muscles. You close your eyes, thoughts drifting to a certain someone... imagining what he would do to you. A soft moan escapes your lips, hand sliding down your torso to gently brush against your clit.
An exasperated laugh left you, applying more pressure at the thought of his hands sliding down your body. Your hips jerked up suddenly, and to your horror, the sharp pain came back instantly. Oh no...
Dread filled your body as soon as it happened, already knowing that you were going to have to message him again. Maybe you could try to get out of the bath...
The sharp pain pulled again, causing you to curse in frustration. Looks like you were stuck for the time being. You grab your phone, open up to your contacts, and send Simon a quick message.
Another emergency.
...
Silence. You huff, knowing that he's not obligated to answer you. It was his day off after all. You might as well enjoy the hot water as much as possible. The warmth envelops your body, providing a little bit of comfort as you relax.
--
You must've dozed off because when you wake, the bath is lukewarm. A groan falls from your lips, rubbing a hand down your face before blindly reaching over for your phone. You blink blearily at the bright screen, looking at your notifications. Simon had replied. Oh shit. Your fingers shake as you open the notification.
Hope it wasn't because of something naughty. ;) - S
You nearly scream, cheeks ablaze with emotion. How the hell did he know?
Ha. Ha. You reply quickly.
You see the ... floating back and forth as he types, thoughts in limbo.
Can you walk? He asks.
You weren't sure, not having tested before because of the pain. Easing up slowly, you're able to pull yourself into a seated position. The water drips down your body and into the water, rapid descent of the drops making a soft tinkling noise. You reach for your towel, slowly starting to dry yourself off and wrapping it around your damp body. It takes a moment, but you're able to pull yourself up and over the tub, staying in a small crouch. If you're in this position, it's not too bad. You grip the counter, sending a quick text back.
Barely.
It takes a few moments for him to respond, and by that time, you have your towel dropped around your feet and are attempting to put on your panties.
I can stop by.
Your stomach flutters after reading his text. Fingers grip your phone as you respond.
I wouldn't want to bother…
Maybe you could make it until the beginning of the week. Tilting your hips back, you push yourself up, throwing an oversized shirt on quickly before bunching back over in discomfort.
Address?
Is all he asks. You huff, knowing you're not going to be able to argue, so you send it to him.
—
He arrives at your apartment in 20 minutes. In that time, you had slowly made your way to the living room so that you could sit on the couch and wait for him. A sharp rap of his knuckles notifies that it is indeed him. You groan when you sit up again, slowly shuffling to the door. Your fingers fumble with the lock, twisting the metal bar to the side before you pull back, allowing the door to open.
It's a bit hard to see him from the angle that you're bent at, but you tilt your head to get a quick look at him.
Simon opted for black scrubs this time, his pants pulling deliciously taut against his thick thighs. His shirt is just a thin white tee, doing little to hide his broad chest. You notice a smattering of ink crawling up his forearm, as it’s closest to your field of sight.
Your eyes catch his, noticing the softness of his gaze. You realize you must look like a wounded animal to him - pathetic.
“Can I come in?” he asks politely, voice rumbling with deep timbre.
“Yes,” you sigh out, catching the way his eyes fall to your lower half.
His mask crinkles up against his face, he's smirking. It's only then that you realize that you forgot to put on pants. How embarrassing. Heat flushes hot up your chest, staining your cheeks pink.
“I’m sorry,” you half apologize. “I couldn’t-.”
“S’okay,” he soothes.
You nod, slowly stepping back and allowing him in. He looks odd in your apartment. The hulk of him taking up most of your entryway. He has to duck to step through the threshold, kicking his shoes off by the door. What a gentleman.
You swing the door shut, mimicking his actions from a few weeks ago, and locking the deadbolt behind you. The air is a bit awkward, mostly due to your own insecurities. You attempt to pull your shirt down farther to cover your bare legs.
“Don’t have to hide from me, lovie,” Simon murmurs. “Let’s get you sorted out, yeah?”
You nod, looking at him for direction. He takes a step forward, crowding your space with his presence. Simon’s paw of a hand flexes at his side, clearly restraining to the best of his ability to not touch you.
“Where’s most comfortable?” he questions, taking a look around your small apartment.
You hum, thinking…the bed would probably be the most comfortable, but also very intimate. The couch could work too, but being only one-sided due to the back of it. There was also the floor…but you didn’t know if you could get back up from it afterward. Bed it was then.
“The bed…” you murmur shyly.
His mask crinkles again, pulling against his face as he smirks again.
“After you,” he gestures with a slight nod of his head.
You turn then, stomach twirling with anxiety as you lead him into the bedroom. Slow, deliberate steps to not flare up your injury. The air is a bit cooler and you shiver, goosebumps crawling up your skin. Your clock reads 0442, the golden rays of sunshine confirming the time.
Your bedroom isn’t messy, but a bit eclectic with the clutter - a few books stacked on your nightstand, a jewelry tray, and a few odds and ends from your purse scattered on your vanity. You always leave a lamp on, along with an essential oil diffuser. Eucalyptus and mint - your favorite.
Simon pads silently behind you, almost forgotten until you catch him out of the corner of your eye. You watch as he takes in the small space, a soft hum as his eyes dance around the room.
You had, for once made your bed today, a fluffy black duvet and a grey throw stretched across the queen size. You didn’t particularly need such a wide space, but it was a luxury of yours, being able to spread out on your own.
Walking (limping) around to your side of the bed, you take it slow when sitting down. You laugh suddenly, imagining what Simon must think of you - an old lady.
“Somethin’ funny?” he questions, a smile in his voice.
“I must look be a sight, hobbling around like this,” you laugh breathlessly.
A slight shake of his head, eyes nearly shut. He’s cheesin’. Simon steps around to meet you, mimicking his movements from a few weeks prior. Two of his thick fingers push into the rivet of your shoulder - a silent plea to lay on your back. Obviously, your bed is much comfier, plush pillows surrounding your head as you sigh. Eyelids fluttering, you look directly up at him, a blush dusting your cheeks as you wait for him to move.
A large hand slides down your side, settling in the crook of your hip. His fingers squeeze at the fat there, stabilizing the joint as his other hand slowly brings your knee up to point to the ceiling. The movements are much slower now, remembering from the first incident that he had caused you pain.
Your body is tense, waiting for the sharp ripple that travels down your thigh - it does, as soon as your hip flexor is tilted to the side.
A sharp cry punches out of your lungs, eyes immediately filling with tears.
“Sorry, love…” Simon murmurs, voicing genuine concern.
You sniffle, taking a deep breath as he makes the rotation back to the first position.
“You’re too tense,” he grumbles, releasing the hold on your knee before sliding his fingers down your bare leg, erupting goosebumps along their wake.
He allows his fingers to unfurl from your hip, pushing the hem of your shirt just above it, so that he can see the bare skin there.
Your eyes flicker down to the exposed spot, desperately wanting to yank your shirt back down.
“Where’s the salve?” he questions.
“Hm?” you hum, thoughts drifting again to his hands.
“The salve?” he questions again, eyebrows raising towards his hairline.
“Oh,” you sigh. “Bedside drawer.” you point to the nightstand to the right of you.
He rummages around for only a moment before the metal tin is in his large hands. Spinning the lid off, he dips two fingers down into the tincture before gently rubbing it into the skin of your hip. You whine softly, the cooling sensation a relief to the flared injury.
Simon huffs softly, eyes flitting over your near-naked form before settling on your own.
“Can’t be making noises like that, bunny,” he warns lowly.
A tingling sensation pulls in your stomach, desire pooling at the base of your spine. Only then do you notice his cock is straining against his pants, clearly turned on by your involuntary noises. You bite your lip hard, turning your head away to not look at him. He was doing you a favor - that was all. A favor for a friend…right?
“Simon,” you sigh softly. “I’m sorry.”
You roll your head back to the other side, blinking before looking up at his face. His brows furrow, confusion etching them into place.
“Don’t apologize,” he huffs, just a faint hint of frustration in his voice.
You can’t tell if he’s frustrated with himself or you. A frown turns your lips downward. His fingers have stopped rubbing the rest of the tincture into your skin, frozen in place as if he’s afraid to touch you again. His other hand is at a fist at his side, fingers clenching together in restraint. Simon’s chest rides and falls languidly as the moment passes, silence lingering in the shared space.
You take a deep breath before you speak,
“Is everything okay?”
His dark eyes flit to yours, pupils dilated to the point where they melt into his irises. Another unblinking gaze makes you a bit uneasy. A familiar flutter of panic itches at the back of your skull.
“No,” he finally answers, slicing the tension of silence with a verbal knife.
“Why?” you breathe out, entranced in his gaze, the rise and fall of your chest quickening.
“Because I want to touch you,” he admits, words so soft your ears are straining to hear them.
Your brain short circuits, a flood of arousal filling your panties. You tense slightly, an unwarranted reaction - before slowly relaxing and letting your legs fall open - an invitation. You’re still mindful of your injured hip, Simon’s fingers still slightly brushing the top of your thighs.
He groans then, a delightful noise that rattles around in his chest before spilling from his lips. Simon places his knee on the bed, slowly leaning his weight forward as he crawls up in between your legs. Your head was spinning, trying to catch up with what was unfolding before you. His touch is featherlight, fingers lightly brushing the bare skin of your calf closest to him. Sitting up on your elbows, you watch quietly, curious as to how this was going to play out.
The sun was starting to set, golden hues splaying across Simon’s form. A particular ray hit his eyes, revealing the brilliant ochre that spiraled within them. He looked like something of a god, on display for you and you only. Simon leans down then, pulling his mask down just a bit to place his lips on your skin. You shutter, the feeling of them erupting goosebumps. They were surprisingly soft, slightly chapped, and full. He slowly moves up your thigh, gentle kisses placed on your skin, nearly afraid of breaking you.
—
You were fragile in his eyes. Something that he wouldn’t dare to shatter. But yet, something in him wanted to, wanted to break and bend and manipulate you with his bare hands. Simon wanted to pull every ounce of pleasure from your body, to take away the pain that was lingering. He wanted to hear your pretty whines, watch your body react, and flush to his touches. Mold you into his own body, fitting the two as one. Dip his fingers into your soaking cunt. He opts for placing soft kisses first, warming you to his touch.
To his pleasure, you’re extremely reactive, soft sighs and hums of approval are music to his ears. His large hands slide up your bare thighs, admiring the smoothness of your skin. You answering your door in your underwear was not on his radar and completely threw him for a loop.
Things had moved quickly and now…now he was wanting to taste you. Mouth watering at the thought. Simon looks at you now, trembling under his touch, anticipation etched onto your pretty face. He’s resting on his stomach, broad shoulders causing you to stretch your good hip out almost near exertion. A slow lean down and…
His warm mouth makes contact with your clothed pussy, tongue flattening against the fabric and sliding up achingly slow. A low moan falls from your lips, head falling back against the pillow. Simon repeats the motion, slowly mapping out your folds to memory. A shudder of pleasure makes its way down your body and you reach a hand out, placing it on his bicep. You give it a light squeeze, fingers curling tight.
Soft moans of yours fill the air, along with the smell of your arousal. You’re dripping wet, soaked fabric of your panties clinging to your folds. Simon hasn’t let up since he began, your slick dripping down his chin. His mask is long forgotten, but his face is hidden between your legs, so you can’t see what he looks like in his entirety.
His long fingers brush against the side of your panties, causing your hips to jerk upwards suddenly. A sharp gasp punches out of your chest, pain radiating down your thigh once again. Tears spring up in your eyes - frustration causing them to bubble up and over onto your cheeks. Your eyes flutter closed and you are jostled by Simon moving. Cheeks burning hot with shame, you turn your face away.
Your lip trembles despite you trying your best to keep it still. This was a mistake, and now he was going to leave. Your hand curls itself into a fist at your bare side.
A touch to your face startles you, causing your eyes to flutter open in shock. Simon is still there, mask placed back on his face as he gazes down at you. He’s half leaning over you, hand placed by the space near your shoulder, eyes glittering with concern.
“Let’s try something different, yeah?” he suggests.
It takes a moment for your brain to process the words, still in shock that he is still here. He still wants to even though you ruined the moment. You nod slowly, still frozen and afraid to move due to the pain. Simon snakes his right hand down to wrap his long fingers around the fat of your hip. He squeezes tightly, holding the aching muscle in place as he climbs onto your bed yet again.
Simon’s straddling your left leg, taking the quick movement to switch your positions in one fluid moment. You yelp, hands flying out to land on his chest as you try to steady yourself. He’s still got a grip on your hip, the pressure keeping it from overextending itself as you sit in his lap. You can feel his length through your soaked panties.
He’s resting comfortably back against your pillows, eyes half closed as they lazily scan down your body. His chest rises and falls languidly, a sound of contentment rumbling throughout. It almost sounds like he’s purring. An experimental shifting of his hips has the tip of his cock brushing against your clit, sending fire licking down your spine.
A pathetic noise crawls up your throat, falling from your lips on its own accord. You watch as his mask crinkles again, eyes nearly closed as he smirks. Simon rolls his hips up towards your own, keeping you locked in place. All you can do is take it, his vice-like grip preventing you from moving. Your stomach flutters with arousal, slick dripping down your thighs as his cock slides against the sticky fabric of your panties.
“Look ‘atcha,” he praises. “Makin’ a mess and I’ve barely touched ya.”
Your lip trembles and you bite down hard, willing it to keep still. His eyes catch your own and you watch his pupils dilate. You can see a blurry reflection of yourself in them, watching your face contort in pleasure as Simon presses up into you. Another whine pulls from your throat, the friction not enough. You needed more - you tried to wiggle in his grip but to no avail.
“What’sa matter?” he mocks, tone almost turning mean. “This not enough for ya?”
You shake your head, a hot flush running down your neck and into your chest.
“N-No,” you gasp as he thrusts his hips upwards again. “I need you, please.”
“Well, since you asked so nicely.” he coos, squeezing your hip lovingly.
Simon doesn’t even bother to move you, just pushes your panties to the side and brushes his fingers through your folds. Your slick pools down onto his fingers, making it easy for him to press two inside. They’re thick, causing you to tense for a moment before relaxing and letting him in.
“‘Atta girl,” he praises again before sliding his fingers back out to the tips before thrusting back in your warm heat.
You moan, releasing your grip on his shoulder as he fucks you with his fingers. His other hand keeps you steady as he lowers you down and back just a bit, almost seated at an angle on his lap. Both of your legs are spread on either side of his hips, hand braced on the bed to keep yourself steady. Simon curls his long fingers towards himself, pressing that spongey spot that has your knees going weak.
“S-Simon,” you gasp, knees buckling inwards towards themselves.
His hand leaves your hip momentarily to push them gently back to their original position, keeping your glistening folds on display just for him. A laugh punches itself out of his chest, almost restrained. It’s a beautiful sound, one you wish you could’ve heard sooner. Simon takes the pad of his thumb and swirls it around your clit. Pleasure burning in your stomach and down your legs, you cry out, orgasm squeezing a moan out of your lungs. You tremble as it ignites your nerves, breath quickening as the pleasure wrecks your body.
He doesn’t slow his fingers, keeps milking every last drop until your body has settled. There’s a slight sheen of sweat on your skin, illuminated by the golden hues of your bedside lamp. A low whistle carries out, faintly hitting your ears as you try to push yourself back up into a sitting position. Your legs are like jelly and Simon laughs again before helping you up.
His fingers absentmindedly brush back and forth on your hip as he hums, giving you a moment to recollect yourself. Pleasure has your joints relaxed, and your hip no longer burning with discomfort. Your eyes roll languidly, almost as if floating in syrup, to meet his own. He’s watching you again, taking you all in. You try to get a good look at him - a slight furrow in his brows, almost as if he’s always in thought. The mask hides most of his face but you can tell his nose is a bit crooked - possibly broken? You fight the urge to reach out and run your fingers across the bridge. There’s a small spattering of freckles peaking out from underneath the mask and you smile.
“What?” he asks, brows furrowing in confusion.
“Beautiful,” you whisper, smiling.
He huffs out a laugh, a small smile on his lips as he shakes his head. Hesitantly reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder, you give it a soft squeeze before you slide your hand down his chest and over the tented part of his scrubs. His eyes follow the trail, locking onto where your hand is slowly stroking up and down his length.
A shudder of a breath leaves his lips and his eyes fall shut. Touch-starved and desperate for more, Simon restrains himself from reaching out and flipping the two of you, wanting nothing more than to have you under him. He reminds himself to be careful with you.
You slide your hand into his pants, stroking him through his boxers. He’s fucking huge, filling your hand with his girth.
“Jesus,” you huff out in astonishment, a small laugh escaping past your lips.
“Too much to handle?” he quips, peeking one eye open to look at you.
“No!” you huff, biting your lip as you try to plan on how to begin.
“Here,” Simon sighs, taking both of your hands in one of his own while he shimmies out of his scrubs.
His cock strains against the confines of his boxers for a moment before he pulls them down too, finally letting it bounce against his stomach.
He’s oversized, pretty - creamy skin with a lush pink tip. It curves to the right just a bit and is leaking from being neglected for so long. You want to bend down and have a taste, mouth watering at the thought. Simon still has your hands on his own when he settles back down. You wriggle them free, wrapping your fingers around the base and stroking slowly up to the tip.
A low rumble of pleasure starts low in his chest, so you keep going, swiping your thumb over the tip. He’s super sensitive, length twitching in your hand as you tighten your grip. Simon’s lids are half closed, watching you languidly.
His hips act on their own accord, bucking into your hand to chase more pleasure. You’re transfixed - watching over and over as he fucks into your hand. The action has you clenching around nothing, wetness creeping down your thighs again. A whine creeps up your throat and you roll your hips slowly against his clothed thigh - unable to stop yourself.
“Just can’t get enough, can you?” he laughs, the sound getting interrupted by a moan as you squeeeeze your fingers tight around the base.
“Not fair,” he wheezes softly, hips stilled for a moment.
His thigh twitches, bumping up into your pussy, causing a spark of pleasure to pull in your core. Simon moves then, pulling his mask down and smashing his lips to yours. He leads the kiss, licking into your mouth with slow swipes of his tongue. You moan into his mouth, eyes falling closed and hands coming up to rest on his forearms. He tastes like Earl Grey and lingering tobacco. Simon moves his thigh up and down, the slick from your pussy drenching his pants. You whine against his lips, hips stuttering as pleasure overcomes you yet again.
“You comin’ again?” he asks with a laugh, smirking against your lips.
Your cheeks blaze furiously, tears pricking at your eyes as you come again. Simon kisses down your neck, biting down at the soft flesh above your collarbone. His arms wrap around your back, burying his face into the crook of your neck, and begins rolling your lower half up and down, up and down as you ride out your second orgasm against his thigh. You’re gasping for air, breath stuttering as pleasure squeezes your chest. All the stress forgotten as it washes over your body. You feel euphoric, the overwhelming release causing tears to fall down your face.
Simon shushes you quietly, rubbing soothing circles into your back as you come down again.
“There you go,” he coos. “Good…so good f’me.”
You sniffle, a laugh bubbling up and over your lips.
“Should’ve called you a lot sooner,” you joke.
He laughs loudly - the melodic sound filling the air.
“Mhmm…” he agrees, placing soft kisses on your overheated skin.
You tilt your head back, allowing him more access. Soft presses of lips to skin. It lights you on fire, desire tingling down to your toes. You arch up into his touch, sighing when his large hands caress your skin.
His thumbs brush across your nipples, stiffening them into peaks.
“Needy little thing…” he murmurs, sliding his hands down to the hem of your shirt to pull it up over your head.
Your shirt lays forgotten on the edge of your bed, you, bare except for your panties. A shiver runs down your spine, the cool air biting your skin. Simon shifts slightly, wrapping his hand around his cock and brushing the velvety tip through your folds. It catches on your entrance, slowly sinking into your pussy.
You moan, breath catching in your throat. His size stretches you open, causing your thighs to shake with exertion. Simon’s slow, allowing you to adjust before sliding you down another inch. His large hands keep you steady, squeezing the fat of your hips. There’s a moment of silence and that’s when you notice you’re trembling.
“S’okay,” he soothes, rolling his hips experimentally.
The tip bumps against your cervix - a mix of pain and pleasure.
“O-Oh,” you gasp, grasping at his shoulders for leverage.
Just like earlier, he has you pinned, stuck in pleasure as he slowly thrusts up into you. Your head falls back, arching your chest forward. Simon takes this opportunity to latch his mouth over your nipple. His tongue expertly runs over the bud, stiffening it yet again into a hard peak.
The sound of your bodies meeting echoes in your small room, the smell of sex heavy in the air. You clench around his length, wanting him even closer than physically possible.
“Bunny…” he warns, nipping at your jaw.
You laugh, pleasure blurring your mind’s worry. You can feel him in every thrust, thick cock bullying its way into your cervix. Simon’s pace has picked up, a steady motion of in out in out in out. You know he’s chasing his pleasure, large hands grabbing at your body ravenously. Itching to touch every part of your body, nothing left undiscovered by him.
He flips you quickly, your mind whirling from the sudden change of position. Simon steadies your hip, still so mindful as he pushes back in, the new angle causing your toes to curl.
“Ohmygod,” you cry out, breaths punched out of your lungs with every thrust.
Simon’s pace falters, growing sloppy as he chases his release. You clench around his cock and his hips stutter.
“Don’t ya fuckin’-“ he starts before you ignore him and do it again.
He curses, hips jolting as he comes.
“Fuck,” he moans, filling your pussy full.
You whine, the feeling overwhelming as he thrusts a few more times before slowly pulling out. A mixture of slick and him leaks down your thighs, cooling in the air. You grimace, going to sit up but Simon pushes you down. He gets up, walks to your bathroom, and grabs a washcloth to run under the warm water. It feels good on your skin as he cleans you up. He then grabs your shirt, picking you up to pull it over your head before gently laying you back down.
Your breathing has started to even, eyes closed as sleep threatens to pull you away. A cold feeling on your hip has you yelping - the salve. Simon has placed a generous amount on your skin, rubbing it in gently. Your eyes crack open to peek at him, he has his mask on again and you frown slightly - sad you weren’t able to see his face.
“Rest up dove, you still owe me,” he winks, leaning over and crawling back into bed with you.
As you start to drift, Simon pulls you close to his chest, warmth causing a slight shiver as you shift to get comfortable. He pulls a blanket over the two of you, warmth breath brushing your neck. His mask off once more. You smile, eyes fluttering shut as you snuggle down into the blankets, and the thought of how you were going to explain to your friend suddenly pops up. Shit. You couldn’t hide this from her.
“What should I say if she asks?” you mumble, almost half asleep.
“Hm..?” Simon rouses, nearly dozing himself.
“What do I tell her what happened this weekend?” you ask him.
“Tell her it was an emergency,” he laughs softly, pulling you closer as he rests his face into the crook of your neck.
#simon riley#cod simon riley#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#reader insert#crimsonwrites#cod smut
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My lovely darling
Girlfriend Ambessa Medarda X Fem!reader
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Summary: You were just trying to survive your family reunion when Ambessa Medarda—your girlfriend—showed up unannounced. Now, you have no choice but to introduce her to your entire clan. What’s got you nervous isn’t just introducing any partner—it’s the fact that you’re dating a woman who also happens to be twice your age.
💋 Enough with the smut we need sweet girlfriend Ambessa💋
All of the Ambessa's fic are mostly smut. Now i want write different this time ;)
Part I
The night of the gathering was full of noise, the endless chatter, catching up with your cousins which you hadn’t seen in ages, and men cheering at the current football game. It was so noisy and chaotic which was stressing you out.
But still, there was something comforting about seeing those familiar faces. Your aunties laughing out loud echoing from the kitchen, your uncle's bad jokes that somehow got worse every year, the kids running around and toddler crying the brain out.
Family gatherings were never your thing. Too many questions, too much noise, and way too many relatives. You just don't have a choice but to obey your mother since it only happens once a year. Everyone minding their own business. It was almost funny, though, how everyone acted like nothing ever happened. Just last year, there was that massive fight over your Grandpa’s inheritance and the land rights. You thought your family would never be the same again.
But here we were, gathered like old times—those heated arguments maybe forgotten. This is what families like. Everyone was busy bragging about their new cars, job promotions, or perfectly curated family vacations.
You were doing a decent job of blending into the background, sipping your martini and pretending to care as your aunt went on about her new Victoria’s Secret bag that definitely looked fake.
It was fake, but you weren’t rude enough to point it out. You just kept nodding, trying your best to look impressed.
“So, do you have a boyfriend yet?” Your auntie suddenly asked. Wine glass in hand, eyes sparkling with nosy curiosity. “Anyone special in your life?”
But of course, it wouldn't be a family gathering without that question.
You forced a polite smile, which lead to an awkward laugh the kind that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
Your auntie's release a collective gasp, followed by the inevitable assumption. You wanna roll your eyes.
Not surprised… are they asking you because you’re the only adult in the family who still hasn’t brought a boyfriend this year? Just like every other year. Meanwhile, your cousins are busy introducing their partners to the family—even the one who’s still in high school. And there you are… all alone.
“You know, Y/n, your cousin Emily is already married and has a two-year-old son. She’s doing so well! You really should think about settling down, sweetheart. You’re not getting any younger, and it’s harder to have kids when you’re older.”
Ah, yes. Emily—the family’s golden child. Same age as you, but somehow light-years ahead in the game of life, according to everyone else. Married, a kid, probably a dog too, for good measure. It’s like she checked off every box on the ‘Perfect Life’ checklist, and here you are alone while everyone assuming you where still trying to find a pen.
You'd force a smile, nod along, and pretend like it didn’t bother you. But inside? You was screaming. If only they knew.
You were doing your best to avoid another round of those questions when your cousin tapped you on the shoulder.
“Hey, Y/n” he whispered, glancing around while a plate food in his hand. “Someone’s looking for you outside.”
You blinked. “Who?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Some lady. But, uh… she looks like someone important. She was kinda scary too..”
That made you pause. Someone important? You racked your brain, trying to think of who would show up here, of all places. But with no other choice, you set your martini down and asked to leave. As you made your way to the front door, a strange feeling settled in your chest.
And then you stepped outside the gate.
You froze.
There, standing by her sleek black car, was her.
Ambessa Medarda.
Your girlfriend.
She wore a sharp red and black suit, tailored to perfection, exuding power with every inch of her posture. The soft evening light glinted off her gold earrings, and her confident stance made it impossible to look anywhere else. Your heart did this weird little lurch, and your chest tightened with a mix of excitement and full-blown panic.
Because what the hell was she doing here?
Behind her—not far away—was another black car, more like an convoy. And there you saw Ricktus, Ambessa’s head security. He glanced in your direction, giving a slight bow when your eyes met. You returned a small smile before starting to walk toward Ambessa.
You barely had time to process before Ambessa large build crossed the distance between you, her hand sliding behind your neck as she pulled you in for a kiss—right there, in the open, in front of your parents house. Your brain screamed at you to stop her, to do something, but your body? Yeah, it had other plans. You melted into the kiss, your nerves buzzing under your skin, and when she finally pulled back, you were left breathless, trying to collect your thoughts.
“Ambessa,”You whispered, glancing nervously over your shoulder to make sure no one had seen. Thank goodness.. you didn't have a front yard party. “What… what are you doing here?”
Ambessa smiled, that infuriatingly calm, self-assured smile that always made you weak in the knees. “I missed you. little one ”
You blinked. “It’s been barely two weeks.”
“Too long,” Ambessa said without missing a beat, seriously? How can she be so clingy and possesive at the same time. Which was kinda cute to be honest. “So, I came to see you. little one. Why? You don’t look happy. I was hoping you’d jump at me out of pure rejoice.”
You swallowed hard, heart thudding in your chest. You would have jumped at her—hell, you would’ve run into her arms if she weren’t standing right in front of your parents’ house, of all places. The timing couldn’t have been worse. But God, seeing her again stirred something deep inside you. Yes, it been just two weeks but it felt like forever.
“I—” you started, but the words stuck in your throat. Instead, you just stared at her, taking in the way she stood there like she owned the whole damn world, that familiar smirk playing on her lips, the glint of mischief in her eyes. You missed her. More than you’d let yourself admit.
Ambessa raised an eyebrow, stepping closer, her presence overwhelming as always. “What’s the matter, dear? Cat got your tongue?” she teased, her voice a low, velvety whisper that made your skin prickle. She glanced at the house behind you, then back at your face, reading you like an open book. “Ah… I see.” Her grin widened. “Didn’t realize you’d be home home.”
You shot her a look, trying to keep your cool, but it was impossible with her standing so close, with that look in her eyes.
“I missed you,” you finally blurted out, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.
Ambessa’s smirk softened, just a hint, and for a fleeting second, something warmer flickered in her gaze. But it was gone just as quickly as it came, replaced by that same cocky confidence.
“I know,” she said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I always know.”
Her words hit you like a punch to the chest, but before you could even process it, she stepped closer, her hand brushing your arm, her touch sending a jolt through your entire body.
“So,” she murmured, her voice low and dangerous, “Are you going to invite me in, or do I have to stand out here all day while your parents wonder who the hell their daughter’s been dreaming about?”
You blinked. Your eyes slowly widened as your stomach flipped. Reality snapped back into focus. This was bad.Very bad. How can you two flirting in this situation.
“Bess, you can’t just… show up like this,” you hissed, lowering your voice. “This isn’t the right time.”
This wasn’t at all how you pictured the family reunion going. They can't meet Ambessa. Not now.
She raised an eyebrow, her expression unreadable. “Why not?”
You swallowed hard, the words catching in your throat. “Because my parents don’t even know I have a lover. They’ve known me as single for the past five years. Let alone a woman who’s…”
Ambessa’s gaze locked onto yours, sharp and unwaverin like daring you “Continue your words, little one.”
You bit your lip, your cheeks warming as you dropped your eyes to the ground. You didn’t want to offend her.
“W-who’s… well, twice my age.”
Ambessa didn’t flinch. Not even a flicker of surprise crossed her face. Like she knew it was coming along. The gap—had always been the issue people latched onto. You told yourself you didn’t care what they thought. But sometimes… sometimes it stung.
But not Ambessa.
She just tilted her head, eyes sharp and unwavering, that usual confidence. “Then are you embarrassed?”
Your eyes widened, and you snapped your gaze up to meet hers, a frown pulling at your lips. Is that what she think of you? “Of course not! Don’t even think about it that way, Bess. You’re—” Your voice began to cracked, the emotion bubbling up before you could stop it. You were having a hard time sinking all of this. It was too sudden.
“You’re one of the greatest things that’s ever happened to me. I’m proud to be yours. Every time i'm with you i feel so whole and I'm not letting you go cause your mine. I’d stand on the highest rooftop and shout it to the whole damn world if I had to. I’d tell everyone you’re my girlfriend, that you mean everything to me—”
You didn’t even realize the tears had started falling until Ambessa’s thumb brushed against your cheek, wiping them away with surprising gentleness. That small gesture broke something in you—the floodgates opened, and you couldn’t hold it back anymore.
You hated when she thought like that. Like she wasn’t important to you. Like you didn’t value your relationship just because of that damn age gap everyone kept pointing out.
You didn’t want her to ever feel that way.
Ambessa didn’t say a word. She just pulled you into her arms, strong and steady, like nothing in the world could touch you when you were with her. Being wrapped in her embrace was your safe haven.
Her hand cradled the back of your head, and you felt her breath warm against your temple “Shh… Forgive me.. Let them talk. Let them think whatever the hell they want. You’re mine. And that’s all that matters.”
“I just…” you gasped between sobs, clinging to her suit. God! You just ruined her expensive suit. “I don’t care what they say, but it—it gets to me sometimes. Like we’re wrong. But we’re not. We’re not, right?”
Ambessa pulled back just enough to cup your face in her hands, forcing you to meet her gaze. Her eyes were fierce, unwavering, like they always were, but there was something softer beneath the surface now—a tenderness she rarely showed.
“We are never wrong,” she said, her voice firm, leaving no room for doubt. “Let them talk. Let them think whatever the hell they want. They don’t know us. They don’t know you.” She leaned in, her forehead resting gently against yours, her breath warm and steady. “And I don’t give a damn about anything but this—you and me. That’s all that matters.”
Her words wrapped around you, and for the first time, you felt the tension ease from your chest. You let out a shaky breath, nodding slowly, you buried your face against her chest, clutching her like she was the only solid thing in the world.
“I don’t care what they say,” you whispered through the tears. “I just… I love you so much, Bess.” voice raw but sure. “I love you so much.”
A rare, genuine smile tugged at Ambessa's lips—one of those smiles she only ever gave you. She pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, lingering there for a moment before pulling back just enough to look into your eyes.
“I know you do,” she murmured, her thumb brushing away the last of your tears. “And I love you more than all their words combined. They can’t touch what we have. I wouldn't let them. They have to get to me first”
A small smile tugged at your lips. You slowly wiped your tears before gently pulling away from her embrace.
“You know no one can get past you,” you chuckled, wrapping your arms around her waist and looking up into her eyes.
Who would even dare to challenge a figure like her—unless they had a death wish or wanted to live through hell itself.
A cocky smile graced Ambessa’s lips. “Precisely, little one.”
“I’m sorry for being so emotional,” you whispered, your voice still shaky. “It’s not that I’m embarrassed… It’s just—they’re so important to me. My family—they’re not exactly…” you trailed off, searching for the right word. Ready? Accepting? Prepared for the force of nature that is you? None of it felt right.
''i know.. that's why it’s time they found out.”
You stared at her. “Bess…i know but they’ll flip out. They’re not exactly… open-minded about this kind of thing. ”
Her gaze softened just a fraction, but there was still steel underneath. “I’m not here to hide. And neither are you.”
You ran a hand through your hair, heart pounding like it was trying to break free from your chest. “ My parents are a little homophobic. They’ll freak out.”
Ambessa stepped closer, her voice low but firm. “Then let them.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but the words wouldn’t come. Because deep down, you knew Ambessa wasn’t going to back down. She never did. And maybe, just maybe, a part of you didn’t want her to.
But that didn’t make this any less terrifying.
She reached out, brushing a strand of hair from my face, her touch surprisingly gentle. “I’m not leaving,” she whispered. “It’s time.”
You blinked at her, trying to gauge if she was really serious. “Bess… it’s just a family thing. You’d be bored.” one last convencing.
She raised an eyebrow, that signature smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “ You look so adorable with your puppy eyes. But it will not work this time. I think it’s time I met your family.''
You let out a shaky breath, your nerves coiling tighter with every second. Is there anything in this world this woman was afraid off? But as you looked into her eyes—steady, unwavering, hers—you knew there was no talking her out of this.
God help. This was happening.
You knew a moment like this would come. You just didn’t expect it to be today.
Ambessa’s sudden appearance—like she’d just pop out of thin air—sent your heart into overdrive. She always had a knack for catching you off guard, but this? This felt different. You weren’t prepared. You hadn’t braced yourself for the surge of tension crackling in the air between you.
And the worst part? The way she looked.
Standing there like she owned the damn place, dressed to perfection, like every single detail had been planned to the last thread. It made you wonder—had she planned this? You knew Ambessa had been eager to meet your parents. You did. But you always found a way to shift the topic..
Is that why she showed up today? But God—the way that outfit hugged her frame, you couldn’t help but ogle. It was distracting she look so smoking hot and gorgeous. And the subtle gleam in her eye? It told you she was fully aware of the effect she had on you.
Your palms felt clammy, your pulse thrumming in your ears. But as your eyes flicked down to your own outfit, a small wave of relief washed over you. Thank God you’d put some effort into how you looked today. If you’d been caught in something sloppy, standing next to her, you would’ve crumbled right there on the spot.
But still… even dressed your best, Ambessa had a way of making everyone else fade into the background. And you couldn’t help but wonder—how the hell were you supposed to keep your cool standing beside her?
“A-alright,” you whispered, your voice barely steady. “Let’s do this.”
#ambessa#ambessa medarda#ambessa x reader#ambessa x you#ambessa x y/n#arcane ambessa#ambessa league of legends#ambessa arcane#wlw#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#lesbian
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oh my god every one of these replies is so stupid. I was content when it was just one to block and move on but y'all kept going, Jesus.
From top to bottom:
"Review embargoes are good, though!"
If you wanna miss the point, I can help you understand. If you're just wrong, I can try and help you see why. But if you're gonna be wrong WHILE missing the point, nothing you have to say is worth saying.
Ignore for a moment that none of the perks of an embargo in your eyes benefit READERS, only the reviewers, their publishers, and the game's publisher. Because even if I agreed with THAT point, do you think review embargoes had a bad reputation back in the day because of the NON-toxic patterns? No! The point is that reviews aren't allowed to come out now until the game's release is so close that it's too late to inform everyone who pre-ordered that they might want to cancel! And that this went from a predictable indicator that a game was gonna suck on launch to a near-universal practice! And AGAIN, that the editors and reviewers would rather maintain a positive relationship with AAA game publishers than with their own readers!
"influencers can play and stream the game before reviews are out, as long as they stick to certain talking points and avoid others"
In other words, you can only review the game if you don't leave a bad review? do you not think that JUST MAYBE that would fall under the category of "problematic embargo pattern?"
"why are you going to a video game magazine for ttrpg news instead of like, Dicebreaker?"
oh, I don't know? Maybe BECAUSE POLYGON HAS A FUCKING TABLETOP SECTION? Maybe because as great as Rascal and Dicebreaker and the like are and need support when they do good work, it doesn't change the fact that if Polygon wants to have a Tabletop beat, they should at least try and do a good job with it? And the head of that section writing an open letter to people his department has straight-up ignored, despite them doing everything right, and saying, "be more marketable!" You can't pretend it's not a bad look. Ignoring the work of members of his own team, who are doing the thing he's saying needs to be done? You can't pretend it's not a bad look. ESPECIALLY when you acknowledge that WoTC has a LITERAL MONOPOLY on the TTRPG scene!
and shieldfoss, I know you won't see this because I blocked you because you're an idiot arguing in bad faith, but everything you said is exactly what I meant by "debating the role of a games journalist in a way that lets them off the hook for not doing their job." Because actually, it IS a journalist's job to inform their readers, not just spoon-feed them what they want to hear, with info they could just as easily get directly from WoTC.
As it stands, the likes of Polygon ARE serving as part of the marketing for major products and services. And that's a BAD thing!
Oh, and about your analogy: If I were going to an e-bike repair man, then no, I wouldn't expect him to try and sell me a new e-bike. BECAUSE HE'S NOT THE PUBLISHER OF AN E-BIKE MAGAZINE! However, I WOULD expect an e-bike magazine to keep me as up-to-date as is reasonably possible on e-bike product launches, even if it's only via reviews. I would expect them to have a handful of guys whose job was to keep their ear to the ground to research up-and-coming e-bike makers. And if one E-bike brand had a monopoly on e-bikes, I'd hope that e-bike magazine would do everything in its power to at least not COME OFF as a shill for the company that holds the monopoly.
And it's all fascinating that two out of three of these replies are, again, still largely in the context of "this is an issue with Charlie Hall, specifically, writing an article about not wanting to have to do any investigation or research to populate his TTRPG section with TTRPG articles" when, as I've been saying from the beginning, this is bigger than him. It's bigger than Polygon. Every major publication has these issues, and they have them in regards to ALL types of games, not just TTRPGs.
So no, none of these people had good points.
I've often heard people debate the role of Games Journalists and their duties relating to coverage of Games, but its usually in the context of letting them off the hook for just taking the easy route and shilling for the AAA industry.
After This Article from Polygon today, whose TTRPG beat is almost entirely covering WoTC press releases, written by the editor for the TTRPG beat, talking about how indie TTRPGs need to do better about getting press coverage themselves (hmm wonder how that would happen, Charlie!), while neglecting to highlight his own team members' work to do so, but finding plenty of time to bemoan the lack of any upcoming Curse of Strahd-tier adventure modules from WoTC?
Yeah we're done with that. No more. Don't even think about it.
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Day 3 - Pirouette
Pairings: LADS MEN x Ballerina reader
summary: What if you reader loves ballet
ZAYNE
Got it! Here’s the revised version with Zayne from Love and Deepspace:
Ready and willing to support your demanding rehearsal schedule, but also low-key concerned about the physical toll it takes on your body. He'll offer massages and gentle stretches after particularly grueling sessions, always careful not to overstep.
Will attend every single performance, front row center if possible, his gaze fixed on you the entire time. He may not understand all the technicalities, but he appreciates the artistry and dedication you pour into every movement.
Would absolutely let you practice your routines in your shared living room, even if it means rearranging the furniture and him occasionally getting whacked with an errant limb. He considers it a privilege to witness your art up close.
Even though he's surrounded by the world of dance through you, he remains grounded in his own world of science. It's a beautiful contrast, and he secretly enjoys the way your two worlds intertwine.
Brings you post-performance treats, like your favorite pastries or a relaxing bath bomb, knowing how much you need to unwind after a show.
Cooks you healthy meals to fuel your demanding lifestyle, always mindful of your dietary needs as a dancer. He's learned a surprising amount about nutrition thanks to you.
Depending on how important the performance is, he might even take time off from work to help you prepare, running errands, calming your nerves, and just being a supportive presence.
For my girlies who get pre-performance jitters, he'll offer quiet encouragement, reminding you of your talent and hard work. He'll be your rock, a steady presence amidst the whirlwind of emotions.
If he can't be there in person, he'll send you good luck texts and call you as soon as the curtain falls, eager to hear all about it.
Leaves little notes for you backstage, filled with words of love and encouragement. He's your biggest fan, always.
You: "Zayne, I feel like I'm asking so much from you lately. All this running around while I'm stuck in the studio..." Zayne: "You never have to ask, you know that. Besides, taking care of you? That’s my favorite job." (he smiles warmly) You: "Even when you get knocked around by my pirouettes?" Zayne: "Absolutely. Besides, it's kind of like a badge of honor at this point." (grins) "I might not be able to do ballet, but I’m definitely getting good at dodging your spins."* You: "You’re unbelievable, you know that?" (laughs) Zayne: "Hey, I do what I gotta do. Now, how about that bath bomb I picked up for you? You’ve earned a little pampering." You: "You’re always looking out for me. I really don’t know what I’d do without you." Zayne: "Good thing you’ll never have to find out." (he winks, brushing a lock of hair out of your face) "Now go unwind, I’ll take care of everything else." You: "And here I thought I was the one who was supposed to take care of you." Zayne: "That’s just a bonus. But hey, if you’re offering…" (teases) "How about a massage for me later?"
XAVIER
Ready and willing to be your personal hype man, celebrating every small victory in your dance journey with the loudest cheers and most enthusiastic applause at your performances.
Will try (and sometimes fail hilariously) to learn ballet moves to impress you, offering clumsy attempts at pirouettes and lots of laughter.
Would clear the entire apartment for you to practice, squeezing into the tiniest floor space, considering it an honor to witness your artistry in motion.
Even though he's not a dancer, he's genuinely fascinated by your world, asking about different dance styles, ballet history, and the meaning behind the movements.
Brings you bouquets of your favorite flowers after every performance, followed by a celebratory dinner at your favorite restaurant to celebrate every milestone.
Cooks elaborate meals, often trying out new recipes he thinks you'll enjoy, showing his affection through food.
Depending on the performance's importance, he might organize a post-show party with friends and family to celebrate your success with everyone you love.
For those with pre-performance jitters, he distracts you with silly jokes and playful banter to ease your nerves, being your source of laughter and lightheartedness.
If he can't be there in person, he'll send a flurry of good luck memes and videos, calling you immediately after the show ends, buzzing with excitement.
Leaves little gifts for you backstage, like new pointe shoes or personalized charms for your dance bag, paying attention to the little things that matter to you.
Xavier: "You did amazing tonight, seriously. I mean, I don't know much about ballet, but even I could tell that was a performance for the books." You: "Thanks, Xavier. That means a lot, especially coming from you." Xavier: "Of course. You’re like… next level. And hey, don’t think I forgot—I got you a little something." He reaches into his bag and pulls out a new charm for your dance bag. Xavier: "I was thinking it might bring you some extra luck for next time." You: "You’re unbelievable." (laughs) "But I love it, thank you." Xavier: "Anything for my favorite dancer. Now, how about I cook us something fancy to celebrate, yeah?" You: "I think I could get used to this level of spoiling." Xavier: "Spoiling? Nah, I’m just keeping up with how incredible you are." (grins) "Now, let’s see if I can finally not burn dinner tonight."*
RAFAYEL
Sure! Here’s that with a little dialogue at the end for Rafayel from Love and Deepspace:
Ready and willing to be your confidant and emotional support, understanding the pressures and anxieties that come with being a ballerina. He offers a calm and steady presence in your often-hectic world.
Will attend your performances with a quiet appreciation, his focus solely on you and the emotions you convey through your dance. He sees the story you tell with your body and connects with it deeply.
Would create a dedicated practice space for you in your home, complete with mirrors and a barre, understanding the importance of having a place where you can refine your craft. He respects your dedication and wants to support it in any way he can.
Even though he may not fully understand the technicalities of ballet, he appreciates the artistry and discipline it requires. He sees the beauty in your strength and grace, both on and off the stage.
Brings you thoughtful gifts after performances, like a rare book of poetry or a piece of art that reflects the themes of your dance. He appreciates your artistic soul and wants to nurture it.
Cooks you comforting meals, focusing on nourishing your body and soul. He understands the importance of self-care and wants to make sure you're taking care of yourself.
Depending on the significance of the performance, he might offer to help you with the logistics, from costume alterations to travel arrangements. He's always there to lighten your load and make things easier for you.
For my girlies who struggle with self-doubt, he'll remind you of your incredible talent and the power of your art. He sees your potential and believes in you even when you don't believe in yourself.
If he can't be there in person, he'll send you a heartfelt message expressing his love and admiration, and will wait patiently to hear from you after the show.
Leaves you little notes filled with poetry or quotes that inspire him, hoping to inspire you as well. He sees the artist within you and cherishes it.
You: "I always feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders before a show. But when you’re around, everything just feels... calmer." Rafayel: "You don’t have to carry it alone. I’m here to help ease the burden, even if it’s just by being a steady presence." (gently brushes your hair behind your ear) "You are far more than the pressure you feel. Your art is a reflection of your soul, and I see that, always." You: "But what if I fail? What if I mess up?" Rafayel: "Failure is just another step in the dance, my love. Your worth isn't defined by perfection." (smiles softly) "I see your strength and grace, even in the moments when you think you’re faltering." You: "You always know what to say to calm my nerves." Rafayel: "It’s easy when I see the beauty in you, in everything you do." (places a hand gently on yours) "Remember, I’m always here—whether in the audience or just a message away." You: "I can’t thank you enough for everything, Rafayel." Rafayel: "You don’t need to thank me." (his voice warm) "I’m simply grateful to witness your art, your journey." You: "I think I might just need a little inspiration before the show tonight. Got any poetry for me?" Rafayel: "Of course." (he smiles, pulling out a small notebook and gently hands it to you) "Here’s a verse that always makes me think of you..." He reads aloud softly, his words carrying a quiet power that settles over you like a calming wave. Rafayel: "‘With every step, the world awakens to your light, and even in the shadows, your grace shines brighter than the stars.’" You: "I’ll carry that with me tonight." Rafayel: "I know you will. And remember—no matter what happens, you are a masterpiece in motion." (he leans in, kissing your forehead gently)
SYLUS
Ready and willing to be your biggest (and most brutally honest) critic. He'll push you to be your absolute best, not out of malice, but because he sees the immense potential within you. Expect constructive criticism, even when you'd rather just hear praise.
Will attend your performances with a discerning eye, noticing every nuance of your technique and artistry. He might offer feedback afterward, which might sound harsh but is always intended to help you grow.
Would dedicate a space for you to practice, but also offer to be your practice partner, even if his own dance skills are… let’s just say “developing.” He believes in learning together and pushing each other’s boundaries.
Even though he's not a ballerina himself, he respects the dedication and discipline your art requires. He admires your strength and resilience, and he'll never let you slack off.
Brings you practical gifts after performances, like a new set of resistance bands or a gift certificate to a massage therapist. He understands the physical demands of your profession and wants to support your recovery.
Cooks you healthy, protein-packed meals, focusing on fuel and recovery. He’s all about optimizing your performance, and that includes your diet.
Depending on the importance of the performance, he might help you analyze your routines, pointing out areas where you can improve. He’s all about maximizing your potential.
For my girlies who are perfectionists, he’ll remind you that progress, not perfection, is the goal. He’ll challenge you to step outside your comfort zone and embrace the learning process.
If he can't be there in person, he'll send you a detailed text message with notes on your previous performance and suggestions for improvement. He’s always thinking about how you can get better.
Leaves you little challenges or exercises backstage, designed to push you further and hone your skills. He’s your coach, your confidant, and your (sometimes annoyingly) honest friend.
Scene: You’ve just finished a particularly demanding performance. You're backstage, trying to catch your breath and calm your racing thoughts. Sylus walks in, his face unreadable, but his gaze sharp as always.
You: "So, how was it? Be honest, I can handle it." (You try to sound casual, but you're anxious, knowing that Sylus doesn't hold back. You're hoping for some reassurance, but also bracing yourself for whatever comes.)
Sylus (leaning against the wall, arms crossed as he analyzes the performance): "Well, you definitely gave it your all. But your execution in the pirouettes? Needs work. You're overthinking it, and it's throwing off your timing."
You (nodding, feeling the sting but also knowing it’s coming from a place of care): "Yeah, I thought I lost my balance on that second turn. It's so hard to get it right every time."
Sylus (eyes narrowing, his tone still sharp but not unkind): "You’re not here to get it right every time, you’re here to get better every time. Perfection’s an illusion. But you need to trust yourself more in those moments. The next time you get to that part, don’t think. Just do."
You (trying to take in the feedback, despite the harshness, you're grateful for his honesty): "I know, I just… I want to be perfect, you know?"
Sylus (walking over to you, his demeanor softening ever so slightly): "Nobody's perfect. Not even me. But I do know you're capable of more. I’ve seen it. So if you’re not doing your best, it’s because you’re holding yourself back."
You (feeling a little frustrated, but also motivated by his words): "I don’t know… I guess I’m just scared of messing up again."
Sylus (smirking slightly, leaning in a little closer as if to emphasize his point): "That’s good. Fear is what pushes us. But you can’t let it control you. You’ve got the skill. Now you need to trust it."
You (sighing, still feeling a bit overwhelmed but grateful for his unwavering confidence in you): "I’ll try. But you really need to be nicer to me sometimes, you know?"
Sylus (grinning, his eyes twinkling with amusement): "I’ll be as nice as I can. But remember—if I’m not pushing you, I don’t think you’re working hard enough."
You (laughing lightly, feeling a little more at ease now that the tension has broken): "Fair enough. I’ll keep pushing."
Sylus (giving you a small, approving nod): "Good. And next time, no more second-guessing. We’ll work through it together." (He hands you a bottle of water with a small, almost teasing grin) "Now hydrate. I’ll be expecting better next time."
This headcanon and dialogue capture Sylus' tough-love approach to your development, as well as his genuine care and unwavering belief in your potential. Even though his honesty can be harsh, he’s always motivating you to rise above and keep striving for improvement.
CALEB
Ready and willing to be your personal cheerleader, Caleb is always your number one fan, and he shows up with an infectious enthusiasm that lights up any room. He’s not afraid to be over the top when celebrating your successes, big or small. He’s especially fond of calling you “Pipsqueak” in the most playful, endearing way, even when you're feeling like you could conquer the world.
Will attend every single performance, his eyes glued to you the entire time. He doesn’t just watch—you can feel his support radiating from the crowd, even when you’re up on stage. He might not always understand all the technical details of ballet, but he’s incredibly in tune with the emotion and heart you pour into every movement.
Would create a comfortable and supportive environment for you to practice, even if it means clearing out the living room, rearranging furniture, or getting hit by a stray pirouette or two. For Caleb, it’s all about your comfort and ensuring you have space to grow.
Despite not being a dancer himself, he adores your art and sees the beauty in the dedication and discipline it takes. He’s often asking questions about ballet—curious about the history, techniques, and why certain moves mean so much to you.
Brings you thoughtful and meaningful gifts after performances. Whether it’s your favorite flowers or a custom-made bracelet with an engraving that symbolizes something in your journey, he’s always thinking of ways to remind you how special and loved you are.
Cooks you comforting, soul-soothing meals, often crafting new dishes to help you recover after a performance. He knows how hard you push your body, and he wants to make sure you're well-fed and relaxed.
Might throw a small celebration or gathering with friends and family after your biggest performances. He believes in celebrating every milestone and loves surrounding you with people who appreciate your talent.
For the moments when you’re dealing with pre-performance nerves, Caleb is your rock. He’ll distract you with lighthearted banter, random jokes, and even a funny dance move or two to calm you down before the show.
If he can’t be there in person, Caleb will text you endless streams of good luck messages and memes to hype you up. Once the performance is over, expect him to be the first one calling you to ask how it went, buzzing with excitement.
Leaves little surprise notes or tokens of encouragement for you backstage, whether it’s a motivational quote or something silly that will make you smile. He always finds a way to remind you that you’re amazing.
Caleb: "You were absolutely incredible out there, Pipsqueak! Seriously, I can’t even believe what I just saw!" (He hands you the bouquet, his eyes sparkling with admiration. He’s practically radiating pride.)
You (laughing, slightly out of breath from the performance but already feeling lighter from his energy): "Thanks, Caleb. It wasn’t perfect, though. I could feel a few things were off."
Caleb (eyes widening in disbelief, as if he’s hearing nonsense): "Off? Pipsqueak, are you kidding me? I’m not just saying this—I swear, I’ve never seen you hit those moves with that much power. You were like—whoosh—total magic!" (He gestures dramatically, almost knocking over a water bottle in the process.)
You (smiling, playfully rolling your eyes): "Thanks, but I’m serious. I swear I lost my balance on that second turn. It was off."
Caleb (shrugging, unfazed): "Pipsqueak, that wasn’t off, that was amazing. You’re way too hard on yourself. You’ve got this talent, this thing—I just get to sit back and be like, ‘yup, that’s my girl.’” (He grabs your hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze.) "You were stunning. Period."
You (softly, appreciating his sincerity, but still feeling a little uncertain): "I guess I just wish I could always hit everything perfectly. You know?"
Caleb (nodding, his tone becoming more serious, though still warm): "I get it. But, hey—perfection’s overrated. It’s the progress that counts. You’ve made leaps and bounds since I met you. Seriously. I’m not just saying that. And I’m always gonna be here to cheer you on, even if you fall flat on your face." (He grins mischievously, nudging your side.) "Though, for the record, I hope you don’t fall on your face, because that would be hilarious, but also, like... not the goal."
You (laughing despite yourself, feeling much lighter now that he’s here to lift your spirits): "You’re ridiculous, Caleb."
Caleb (playfully dramatic, making an over-the-top gesture): "Ridiculous? No, no. I’m just passionate! You’re a star, Pipsqueak. No matter what, you shine. And I get to be the one sitting front row, cheering you on." (He hugs you tight for a moment, making sure you feel the full force of his love and support.) "Now, c’mon, let’s go get some food. I’m starving, and I know you’re probably about to eat the entire buffet yourself after that performance."
You (laughing, feeling the weight of the performance lift off your shoulders, knowing Caleb is always there to remind you of the bigger picture): "Deal. But only if we get dessert."
Caleb (grinning widely): "Dessert’s a must. You earned it, superstar."
#love and deepspace sylus#sylus qin#lads sylus#sylus x reader#love and deepspace#sylus x you#l&ds sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace caleb#caleb love and deepspace#lnds caleb#caleb x mc#caleb#lads caleb#loveanddeepspace#l&ds zayne#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#lnds zayne#zayne x reader#lads xavier#xavier love and deepspace#xavier x reader#xavier x mc#rafayel x mc#rafayel x you#lads rafayel#rafayel x reader#rafayel love and deepspace#qi yu
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equally yours • kinich x gn!reader
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With Kinich, everyone gets what they deserve. You can either name your price or accept what Kinich offers in return, and no matter which option you choose, you won't be shortchanged—ever. That’s just how he is.
However, you are an exception. No matter which choice you make, you always end up being shortchanged—at least that’s what he believes.
This annoys him. He tries to make things equal while you insist on giving him more. Sometimes, it makes him wonder if you have ulterior motives. Yet, deep down, he knows that being nice is simply in your nature, just as he has his own tendencies.
But it really, really annoys him.
He dislikes being indebted to others, and he doesn’t like when others owe him either. He might be able to tolerate the latter, but the first thought truly bothers him to the point that he finds himself lying in bed, thinking about how to repay you in the middle of the night as he stares at the ceiling while Ajaw murmurs about how he is going to rule the world when he takes over Kinich's body.
And that -the first thought- always seems to be the case with you.
So when he spotted you sleeping in one of the trees near the Children of Echoes with your saurian companion, as some Saurian hunters approached you two, he acted without thinking—which was out of character for him—and dealt with them in an instant.
Looking back at you, who was still asleep while cuddling with the said companion, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
It seemed like you two were equal now.
That was good. You weren't aware of it so you weren't going to do something about it too. Perfect.
From that day on, Kinich never accepted jobs from you, fearing that if he did, you’d do something so in character of you that would leave him empty-handed again.
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Now it was your turn to feel annoyed.
Whenever you caught a glimpse of Kinich, he vanished at the moment you blinked. Everytime!
He still interacted with Mualani, Kachina, Chasca—anyone, really!—except you, of course.
You thought Kinich and you were getting along just fine. Since he was always taking jobs from you and you were helping him out every time he did that too. He was desperate to repay the kindness, that was the reason behind the upcoming requests of taking jobs from you. But you didn't know that.
This new approach(could it even be called approach if he didn't approach at all?) made you feel lonely. And he didn’t know that, too.
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Kinich felt restless. No matter how much he tried to avoid you, his mind wouldn’t cooperate. He found himself thinking about you more—it was not just at midnight anymore. It reached the point where he would lock his gaze to somewhere far away while his customer talked, trying to rid himself of thoughts of you by repeating, “We are equal now, equal. Equal. Equal.”
He even almost called Mualani by your name. Whenever that memory came to his mind, his ears burned bright red.
He missed your voice.
Wait, what?
Who said that???
Kinich felt himself blush furiously. The worst part? He was in the middle of a conversation with Mauvika, the literal Pyro Archon. He excused himself, and Mauvika gladly let him go.
But Ajaw wasn’t having it.
“Do you have a fever? Please die in silence so I, the Almighty Dragonlord K'uhul Ajaw, can—”
He couldn’t finish his sentence because Kinich put him on a timeout.
He didn’t even know how that happened, but when he came to his senses, he realized he was standing in front of your house.
At that point, he didn't mind owing you; in fact, he felt like he was already indebted to you (especially considering he still felt like you were shortchanged even after the previous encounter, he thought you deserved so much more).
He just wanted to see you.
And maybe, you also wanted to see him too. Given how tight you hugged him when you two finally made up.
He was empty-handed. It felt weird, he doesn't remember coming here like this in what felt like forever.
But now thinking about it, he didn't feel empty-handed at all. Especially when his fingers brushed against yours, intertwining them with such care, he thought he could get used to this.
Through the embrace of you, he felt his eyes soften when he realized there was no such thing as being indebted between the two of you. Whatever you had was his, just as whatever he had was yours.
Because he belonged to you, just as you belonged to him.
Equally.
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𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ notes!
☆ not proofread; it was just a thought that came to my mind while I was trying to sleep, and now it's 3 am lol
☆ i might rewrite this, who knows
#kinich#malipo kinich#kinich x reader#genshin x reader#kinich x you#kinich x y/n#genshin#genshin impact#kinich x reader fluff#malipo kinich x reader#malipo kinich x you#malipo kinich x y/n#genshin x you#genshin x y/n#✴ mer's work
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Dinner was going well. Charlie was a bit surprised. Since Lucifer came to live at the hotel and Adam revived almost six months ago, nearly every meal had been a battlefield.
Alastor picking a fight with Lucifer. Lucifer and Adam at each other’s throats. And that was on top of various dramas involving overlords and sinners.
But things were settling down.
Even when Alastor was trying to get under Lucifer’s skin, Adam seemed to have taken over calming things down. If calming things down meant, telling Alastor to quiet his ass up and for Lucifer to sit his ass back down, then interrupting Alastor every time he tried to make an excuse with a, “kid, I told you to shut up.” Alastor usually vanished after that.
Alastor had left for the night when Adam asked for someone to please pass the salt.
Lucifer handed it to Charlie, “please pass this to your mother, would you, darling?”
“Sure— what did you say?” Charlie blinked as several people started to choke on their drinks or food.
“ADAM!” Lucifer gave a hysterical fake laugh. “Slip of the tongue! I forgot for a moment, we— that. It’s I— Adam! Help me out here.”
“Fuck, no!” Adam wheezed between laughs. “You’re on your own, daddy.” He teased.
Lucifer shot Adam a dirty look as Husk tried to dislodge a piece of chicken from Angel’s throat.
“You might as well tell her.” Adam said still trying to get his breath back.
“Tell me what?” Charlie asked, glaring accusingly at Lucifer, who still fumbled over his words.
“It’s— well. Uhhh. Charlie, darling.”
Charlie pulled away as Lucifer reach for her hand. “Don’t tell me you two are dating.” She wanted to be supportive but that set Adam off again and the colour drained from Lucifer’s cheek marks.
“NO!” Lucifer glared at Adam. “I was going to tell her when I was ready! Asshole.”
“Seriously. Tell me what?”
Lucifer reached for her again but pulled away and fiddled with his cuffs instead. “The divorce is finalized. We signed the paperwork this morning. I’ve been a little distracted, thinking about your mother. Adam had been helping me the last few weeks to get up the nerve to sign everything.”
Adam winked and shot her a finger gun. “Not my first divorce. Been married and divorced six times now. Figured helping him rip the bandage off would net me some of those good karma points or whatever.”
“Oh.” That was all? She knew this was coming. Lilith took off all those years ago and Charlie often told herself Lilith was doing something important, but there had been all the fights, and her mom stormed out, and the divorce papers in the mail.
She knew. But her heart kind of hurt anyway. Things were never going back to normal. To how they had been when she was a kid.
“That’s good news!” She did her best to put on a happy face. “You guys weren’t happy anymore. It’s better than being miserable together.” She tried to remember some of the “So your parents are getting divorced, Champ” pamphlets she’d read when the divorce papers first showed up.
Stuff like, ‘It’s not your fault mommy and daddy aren’t together,’ didn’t seem applicable right now, but, “Sometimes people just grow apart, Dad. And it’s better if you two can move on and find happiness again.”
“You’re taking this better than I thought.” Lucifer smiled softly at her.
“Told you.” Adam had settled back in the eat his food. “She a tough kid. You did a good job with her.”
Lucifer flushed gold. “I—uh, thank you?”
“No problem.”
Dinner settled back down and Adam got his salt, getting plenty of ribbing about Lucifer slip of the tongue in.
Charlie started to clear the table, it was her turn that night, and Adam and Lucifer gave her thanks before leaving and looking closer than they used to be.
“Daddy up for a movie?” Adam teased, jostling Lucifer’s shoulder as they left.
Lucifer snorted. “You’re not going to let that go are you?”
“Never.”
“Turn about is fairplay, mommy.”
She could hear them as they went down the hall.
“Bitch, you think that bothers me? I’m too awesome to care. Now answer the question.”
“Depends on if mommy wants to watch that crappy Titanic movie again or something good.” Lucifer teased.
Adam faked a gasp. “That movie is a classic! It’s cinematic perfection!”
They wandered too far for Charlie to hear anymore of their conversation. But it left her wondering. She shouldn’t assume, but it seemed funny to her that it took someone new in her father’s life for him to move past the divorce at last. Maybe they were just friends.
…
But the mommy/daddy thing was weird, right?
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This is a really well worded post and I generally agree! However, I think I got another angle of this same conclusion based on the idea that Amy's original redemption arc never really concluded only to backslide -- rather, that her expectations about redemption fundamentally change what that redemption arc means in-text
Like you say, it absolutely falls well within the typical narrative-trope parameters of the expected 'redemption arc,' she hits all the core points -- but, like with a lot of tropes related to pain, trauma, healing, forgiveness and so on, the typical narrative portrayal isn't often a realistic one. In that way I think Amy acts as both a good example and, with further context, a deconstruction of the redemption arc, because under further examination a lot of the arc itself isn't necessarily as positive as it first came off. In so many of her attempts, she's trying to do better according to all she knows when surrounded by the worst influences possible. She doesn't have a solid safe role model, and hasn't for her entire life. Someone to tell her that sometimes you just won't be forgiven, that not every fight ends with a hug and back-to-normal at the end.
In that way, Amy's attempts at doing the right thing in Worm, though absolutely noble in conscious intent, still betray a few of her failings and the places she was failed. Like you say, she really does try to get better, she does the things she may know broadly lead to healing or help or forgiveness, but a lot still ends up being more about her than her efforts.
The tattoo here absolutely stands out to me -- even before Ward went and had her all but explicitly say that the tattoo holds a different meaning now, even in Worm it still seemed imperfect, questionable potentially, but with heart behind it. It was a memorialization of pain and a reminder to do better -- but like so many pieces of art about pain or failure, it could inadvertently romanticize the subject just as much as it condemns it. Amy is, in a very real way, actively working this tragedy into a part of a narrative -- one she tries to use for growth, but ultimately fails in.
I'm trying not to be too harsh on Amy here, but vibes-wise I'm reminded somewhat of something like an ex-boyfriend, leaving flowers at the door of someone who dumped him, or cry-singing a song about how they were a bad boyfriend on the car drive home. Sure, the pain is real, the acknowledgement of failure likely is as well, but at some point the gesture becomes more about the boyfriend's pain than the actual relationship, or even the breakup. In this moment Victoria, a victim who literally cannot speak for herself in this instance, is 'memorialized' in a very real sense, turned into a symbol by a person that already as a base nature of their power and life can feel so disconnected from the humanity of others.
So many of these choices by Amy center her -- her attempted growth, her attempted retribution, her attempted change. It's the kind of thing that in real life really can be done for the right reasons, but can also be done for worse ones -- that ex-boyfriend working out thinking of their ex, getting a job thinking of their ex, hanging a picture of their ex above their bed to motivate them to get up in the morning. Amy's actions aren't even this extreme or pointed, but I view it as them sharing a sort of kernel of trying to do better because they really want (or even need) better in turn -- and thus, Amy's arc in Ward is what happens when the textbook redemption arc doesn't work.
When all those acts of memoriam, distance, betterment, health, are done with the kernel of hope in your mind that it means you'll be forgiven, that it all will be fine again and you can go back to how it was.
And that's why I see her redemption arc as never having completed -- she's trying, she's hitting the right steps, but ultimately at the conclusion of this redemption (which I would argue is a long period of time, starting with Vicky's new body and coming back up again for a while) would come when those attempts were tested, when Victoria refuses to forgive her and she's forced to either accept her betterment without Victoria, or let go of it and keep pushing for her -- she begins to choose the later.
In this way it's less of a backslide and more of a recontextualizing moment. She is backsliding in behavior, but it's not that she got foundationally better and then became foundationally worse again, and more so that she tried to get better, put in real effort, but ultimately failed. This version worked for me because it seems to be what Amy acts like right out of the gate; annoyed that Vicky won't accept her, continually trying to do things 'for' her or based on her happiness when Victoria wants nothing to do with any of that.
These give some context to her past actions, allow you to re-examine Worm in a way that both provides answers and adds a new layer in a way many readers (myself included) missed at first simply because yeah, Amy's arc does have all the pieces of a redemption arc, and it takes Ward to get people thinking about whether or not those pieces add up.
I do want to state to conclude that yeah, her portrayal (and especially the initial choice to tell this story surrounding Amy of all people) has its issues, many major, but the portrayal of someone who falls into toxicity and abuse because they thought they were doing everything right and still didn't get what they wanted out of it; A person who still didn't get that one selfish prize they latched onto in a moment of pain that they tried to be a saint to deserve or make up for wanting? Yeah, that's pretty unique and powerful, and despite its flaws it really hits home as an accurate-to-the-point-of-painfulness portrayal.
Okay, fuck it, I've built up enough goodwill with this sideblog - let's risk it all by sharing my opinions on how Amy is handled in Ward.
It's kinda complicated I think.
Okay, now that I've resisted the urge to immediately hit post for the bit: I think the way her interludes are written substantially flattens her character in a way that I find distasteful and unpleasant, but I find the overall shape of her arc and her role in the narrative compelling. The things I dislike have been well-covered by plenty of other people in the fandom, so I'm going to focus on the things I like.
To talk about Amy's role in Ward, I first need to talk about my interpretation of Ward as a whole. To me, Ward is, above all else, about trauma and recovery. Society is traumatized by the end of the world, the shards are traumatized by the death of Scion and their loss of purpose, individuals are traumatized by all the things individuals are traumatized by. As an aside, this reading is a big reason why I'm not too bothered by a lot of the world building choices that other people frequently (and fairly) criticize - I think many of them serve this theme effectively.
One specific facet of that reading that I find particularly compelling is Ward's interest in people who are traumatized not just by the harm done to them, but by the harm they've done. Characters don't just regret what they've done, they don't just want to be better, they are traumatized by it, and their reactions to that trauma are as messy and complicated as any other traumatized people. I don't always agree with the stances the text takes on how to deal with having done harm and been traumatized as a result, but I find the exploration of the topic compelling.
Enter The Altruistic Amy Dallon.
Amy's arc in Worm was, to a degree, a prototype of this kind of storytelling. She is repeatedly and horrifically traumatized, the actions she eventually takes in response to that experience inflict equally horrific trauma on her victim, and she is further traumatized by her own actions almost to the point of ego death. She removes herself from the environment she was in, begins rebuilding her sense of identity and ethics, and reemerges having grown, prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations for her past actions as best she can. Arc done! It's satisfying and cathartic, and we leave content in the knowledge that the part she's on will take her to better places. It's the quintessential appeal of a redemption arc, and it's a strong example of its type.
There's something people like to say a lot when talking about mental health and personal growth in real life, and that is that progress isn't linear. It's an important truth to understand.
It's rarely true in fiction. Very often, in redemption arcs, in personal growth arcs, after a series of false starts and setbacks, the character reaches a critical point where they resolve their conflict and either overcome it or succumb to it. From that point on, their nature or behavior is fundamentally changed - if they've grown they never relapse past a certain point, or do so only fleetingly, or else never improve past a certain point. This makes sense from a storytelling perspective, but it doesn't map to how growth often works in real life.
In Ward, Amy occupies the very rare narrative position of being who completes her arc of growth and redemption, who crosses that critical threshold of lasting, meaningful change... but backslides anyway, to the point of essentially losing all that progress.
It's an outcome that I find very believable for her, honestly. Her newfound worldview and conviction were forged in the very insular environment of the Birdcage - of course they would be impacted by her new environment. She says at the end of Ward that she had been able to excuse all of her worst behavior because she had convinced herself that she could fix anything - and at the end of Worm, I can see how she would come to think that! She's been pardoned and released from Forever Prison, she overcame her old aversion to brains to create Khepri and thereby saved the world, she's formed a positive relationship with the father she never thought she'd meet, she's receiving love and support from parents she never felt good enough for, she's using her powers to help people in a way that doesn't make her want to die, and she even "fixed" Victoria, when failing to do that before was the final nail in the coffin she just finished clawing her way out of! The sheer number of seemingly impossible things she's accomplished, of apparently irreversible failures she's seemingly put right, is mind boggling! It'd be the easiest thing in the world to let that go to your head!
Her social circle is also a perfect environment to enable her worst tendencies - there's no one left in it whose opinion she trusts that's willing to call her on her shit. Marquis doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior, Carol is trying to make up for a decade of neglect and unwarranted criticism, Mark just wants everybody to get along and be happy, and Riley and Rinke are pretty shaky on this whole human decency thing themselves! With a (not unjustified) pride in how far she'd come, a circle of willing enablers, a complete lack of moderating influences, and a bulletproof get-out-of-moral-culpability-free card, and two years to spiral, I find her backsliding to be completely believable. And given that Victoria is the fly in the ointment to all of this, that her continued refusal to have anything to do with Amy gives lie to Amy's belief that she can fix anything, and thereby puts the entire edifice of her self-rationalizations at risk, it also makes perfect sense to me that Amy would become fixated on her, on proving that she really can fix anything.
Of course, being believable isn't the same thing as being compelling. The thing that makes all this so resonant for me is that, at the end of Ward, after being this grasping spectre that haunts Victoria the whole book, after rejecting countless opportunities to demonstrate a hint of self-awareness or the slimmest motivation to change - Amy does. She sits down with a therapist. She rips off the band-aid - both the metaphorical one and the literal one made out of Victoria's skin, jesus christ Amy - looks at what she's done, at how she went awry, and resolves to do better. And we end with her in essentially the same place she was at the end of Worm: prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations as best she can. But the journey she has taken to get there gives the destination entirely new meaning for me. She's already fumbled her chance at redemption! But her journey gives lie to the idea that you only have one chance, or two, or any finite number! Every moment you draw breath is a chance to do better.
To me, Amy Dallon's arc in Ward shows that the most important step you can take is the next one, and no matter how many times you walk up and down that road, it never stops being true. And I find that compelling as hell.
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february 9th, 2025
i have a pounding headache as i write this, most likely brought on by the adderall i took this morning. usually adderall = productive day for me, but somehow i got carried away and then next thing you know, i'm looking up from my phone and laptop and realizing i've been doing nothing for the past 4 hours. i went to a friend's place for a super bowl party but by then the headache had started and i was already sort of sad. i just decided it'd be best for me to go home.
new york winters bring a mix of emotions for me. i love when the snow falls, but hate the next day when it's slushy and slippery and my shoes and socks get soaked no matter how hard i try to avoid puddles. the cold is depressing and brutal, but a welcome, tangible indicator of change and the passage of time. two years ago i got my heart broken during a new york summer and since then, i find relief and comfort in the other three seasons. by the time summer rolls around again, i am reminded of two years ago, and then a whole different mix of emotions comes.
i moved to new york city five years ago as a wide-eyed, determined, naive, highly-motivated 20-year-old girl with dreams of working in fashion. i was born and raised in a suburb in northern california, largely quite sheltered and without any real-world experience. i still cannot drive. back when i first came here, i was very excited about life and my future, albeit very very very anxious and clueless. i had good intentions in everything i did, and still now, if one thing about me persists, it is that.
today i am 25 years old, working a 9-5 fashion job. unfortunately and disappointingly, i am much less concerned with my career as i used to be as it's taken a backseat to my never-ending struggles with mental health. most big dreams i had have been extinguished by reality and the ups and downs of life. i think also, maybe as i've gotten older, i've found that simple pleasures are enough to keep me content. maybe that is cope, i am not sure, i go back and forth on whether i am lying to myself because i've half-bakedly accomplished some of my dreams and realized that some may never come true. but that's another internal dispute amongst the thousands i must filter through every day of my existence.
when i got my heart broken two years ago, it was like a big bang of sorts for me - the breaking acted as a catalyst for lots of internal change, tough conversations with myself, and self-discovery. somehow i pushed through the excruciating emotional and existential pain and in the time after, i was able to build myself up from scratch. in that painstaking building of self, i became confident and assured of my identity, my core, my values, who i was and who i am. i had spent so much of my life trying to transform myself into what i thought others wanted me to be, so to get to a place where i was myself and no one else and i was happy to be myself... it was very unfamiliar and unprecedented for me but also very exciting.
but that newness has faded as life has continued onwards. there's a quote from the bible that says "as a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly". romance has always been THE dictator of my life, cruelly deciding my mood, my purpose, my worth, etc. in short - i have reattempted to find love over the past two years only to be left disappointed time and time again. each failed relationship has left a chip on my shoulder, and all the cracks in my form have caused me to break once again. my niche micro-celebrity crush recently tweeted "everything falls apart all the time" (and he plays a larger role in my recent "breaking" that maybe i will one day have the courage or lack of care to share). but he was right. everything has fallen apart for me. i'm holding on to three pieces - my family, my friends, and my work. i can't even remember what my original shape was. i'm just gripping these shards as hard as i can and they're slitting my skin but i won't let go. they're all that i have.
i don't mean to sound so doomer, this is more of a stream of consciousness that i'm sharing as a life update of sorts... don't worry about me too much, i'm quite used to this feeling by now!
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Hi! Is there going to be a part 5 of Let them Call it a Sin?
Sure. Have Part 5. If you have no idea what's happening, you can start here. 2 3 4
Before she’s gotten Percy, Annabeth has been almost desperately lonely. And it wasn’t that she missed that time, not really. But then she’d done a Queen’s first job: gotten pregnant.
She loved having Percy’s baby. Knowing his seed had taken root, she was growing a piece of him within her.
But of course, she could not tell everyone who’s child she was a carrying.
And that made the new focus on her an extra burden.
She was King Poseidon’s wife, and now everyone wanted a piece of her because of that.
Sometimes even the king.
She’d gotten 3 perfect months with Percy, but the birth and blessing and recovery had been stressful, so many people, in a house she almost wished was her own. And barely any Percy to speak of.
She had hoped getting back to the Palace would have been a relief. More space, and perhaps everyone would go back to ignoring her. Especially because she had not had a son.
It had not been nearly so. Their was space, at least. But the attention on her had grown. Now the ladies of court wanted join her at every opportunity. And the king wanted more of her company.
The great balm on her soul was that Lady Sally had been made in charge of the little Princess. And so Annabeth had plenty of excuses to spend lots of time with her, and her daughter.
Though not her son.
Percy had been slow returning to court, needed to deal with something with his vassals and then doing some sort of errand for his father with another lord who was misbehaving.
She had danced with him at a dinner, and spoken to him once at a meal with his father.
She missed him desperately. His humor and his smile and his kisses.
And she wasn’t sure if everything that had happened had changed things.
Was he full of shame having their treason princess?
Was he upset she’d had a daughter, and not a son?
Had his attention found someone else, and would she soon have to accept the marriage of the Duke of Thera and some beautiful young virgin whose affection will be given freely, proudly, and openly. When a queen could only manage two of those.
She was visiting her daughter, her little Annabeth one morning. It was easy enough to shake other’s loose then, to speak of wanting alone time with her child. Only her, the nurse, the wet nurse, the nursery maid, Lady Sally, her maid, and Lady Estelle’s nurse bothered her. She liked at least a smaller crowd
Though, she realized after about an hour, everyone but Lady Sally and her daughter had left.
“I think I shall take her back to the other room for a nap,” Sally said, glancing at the sun out the window, “I think that will be for the best.”
“Oh?” She didn’t look away from her daughter. “Alright.”
“I’ll leave the three of you alone.”
That got Annabeth to look up. Who had she missed.
Then she let out what could only be described as a squeak.
“Percy!”
“Your majesty.” He said, bowing to her, before giving his mother and his actual baby sister a kiss on the cheek. She gave him a pat on the cheek in return, and then left the room.
“Percy!” She said again, but she did not run to him. Partly because she still held their daughter in her arms. But also because she was not sure what he might be thinking of everything now.
But Percy, as always, knew exactly what she needed. He came to her, and, with a look at both the window and the door, swept her into his arms.
He didn’t pull her tight like he might have once, but he kept his hands round her shoulders, and rested his head briefly in the crock of her neck. She knew he loved her hair, and suspected he was trying to feel it beneath her veil.
He pulled back slowly, but did not move away, still in her space. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, my love.” She saw his face open up at the endearment. Maybe his worries mirrored her own.
His eyes went over her shoulders again, likely to make sure they were not in the sight line of the window. And then he brought his lips to her’s, laying a delicate kiss on them and cradling her face in his hand. The skin was warrior rough. Strong, powerful, and yet so very very gentle.
He pulled back again, then, and looked down at the bundle in her arms. Their sweet little girl, wrapped in a silk cloth.
“Can I…”
“Of course.” Annabeth said quickly, handing her over, “she’s yours, Percy.”
He nodded as he took her carefully in her arms. And she could see water in his green eyes, “I know,” He whispered, “she’s mine.”
He just looked at her for a long long moment. Before leaning down and giving her a kiss on her head. “Hello, Annabeth.” And gods she loved his name on her tongue, loved how much more she was going to be able to hear it, “I’m your papa.” She saw the tears then, falling delicately on their daughter’s head. But it wouldn’t have been surprising if she didn’t. Because she felt her own tears start to come as well, “I love you so so much.” He promised their daughter, “I will always protect you.”
Annabeth let out a little sob, and one handed, Percy pulled her to the couch in the room, pulling her into him.
She wanted to stay there, forever, she and Percy and their daughter. It felt like a dream. Back at Percy’s estate. She could be the Duchess of Thera. And their little lady.
The sound of a clearing throat nearly made her heart stop.
But it was just Lady Sally, giving them a pointed if apologetic look.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “but I do not think I will be able to keep anyone else out for much long.”
“Of course,” Percy said, handing the baby back to Annabeth, before he stood up and strode towards the door.”
“You’re welcome to stay, Percy.” His mother said, “if you are content to visit your little sisters.” She pressed the plural. She wanted him to remember.
Annabeth needed to remember too.
It didn’t make it any easier.
#pjo#pjo fic#percabeth#percabeth fic#annabeth chase#percy jackson#my fic#let them call it a sin#asks
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Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!
Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!
Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.
I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!
#im so frustrated that banner has been gone#and people think the comic is over because of that#which is reasonable to think#but it... idk#its already an uphill battle to try snd retain audience after a hiatus this long#let alone when webtoon is actively building thr expectation that theres no need to come back...#im so frustrated#every day there is something new with them its so exhausting#this isnt even the thing I've been majorly stressed about this is a fresh new frustration#i feel like they're not just being unhelpful#at this point i feel like theyre actively sabotaging my career.#im not allowed to promote my books#i can't make my links too big so no one can find me#people dont even know i have a patreon#i can't make any announcements on the comic#and now people think th whole thing is over and it isnt!#im so ;_;#im so frustrated and demoralized#and people complete reasonably are losing patience and interest#and. ah... it's fine. like genuinely it is fine.#it will come back soon and i am doing a good job#and everyone who sees it's back will be happy with what ive done#cause it's good. its really good...#but. yeah. idk. webtoon has been actively keeping me down since the beginning and im so over them#I've been so mistreated aysudjejjdjdjdj#i just want to finish the series and go ;_;#taking all my power to not **** ******#just gotta power through and get the fuck out#text post#update
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"Yes," he smiled, nodding his head, "just not with my own two hands." That would have been a feat. Where Rafael knew plenty about houses in terms of selling them, he couldn't say that he knew all that much about getting them built, what went into making that happen. Thankfully, for him, he knew plenty of people who understood the process, though. "I hired a local to lead up a construction crew and it all came together pretty well." Now it was a sort of castle on the hill, the dream home that he had spent so many hours going over plans for, picking out this and that, discussing options. His smile softened when she asked if he was close to his parents still, nodding his head. "Very much so. My father serves on the board of the company, my mother -- well, you'll see, but she stops in a lot with food." That was Isabella, though. When she wasn't baking or cooking for her son, she was volunteering at the hospital, or attending book clubs. He could only hope to be half as active in his life when he got to be his parents' age.
"So it's not something that you're used to," he nodded with understanding. Rafael got it -- he did. When people lived in different areas of the world, they were going to be used to different things. Sometimes that meant that they craved a little bit of spice and flavor, and sometimes it meant that they were going to sweat their way through eating something that wasn't bland. Different strokes, he knew. "I'll… try my best not to," he grinned, taking a bite of his food and letting it rest on his tongue thoughtfully, before chewing it down and asking, "so when you moved out and you were able to try all of those foods that you didn't have before, were you nervous? Or excited, and wanted a little bit of everything at every moment that you could have it?"
And then, the deep question. One that he mulled over for a moment, reaching for his glass to take a sip of wine moving it around in his mouth thoughtfully. "I needed to get out of New York. That wasn't negotiable, I lost my job, I had just ended a relationship," which was a very glossed over way of saying that his wife had filed for divorce and he had been fired from a prestigious firm, but they would cover that when the time was right, he knew. "Moving to Maine on a whim based on a job offer was a big undertaking, and I definitely spent a while wondering if I had made a mistake. I thought New York was cold, this was cold. The work was… decent. Steady. Not nearly as high profile or dramatic as the cases that I had taken on in New York, so that was a change, but eventually I started to find my people. I made friends with a local blueberry farm -- he's since passed, but I'm still friends with his family -- and he was my first real client. Then he helped me get more clients based on word of mouth. And I started to realize that there were big hearts in small towns, and despite my," he raised his brows a bit, "high tastes and rough exterior, I think just getting to know the people helped to soften me. If that makes sense."
"So you did build it? In a round about way?" Aurora had been joking, but the way Rafael spoke about building something so beautiful out of nothing; because he could, because he wanted to; caught her off guard. "That's such an amazing thing to do, I bet they're so grateful. You guys are close, I take it?" To say she was in awe by that piece of information was an understatement. Aurora was by no means from a modest background; her parents owned a lake house in north Sweden and she grew up in Lapland - a childhood woven by winter dreams. But, she hadn't necessarily reached the stage where she surpassed her parents success either, and she knew they wanted her to. She wanted to. She just wasn't sure how yet. But when she did, if she did, she'd want to give back too. "Oh, we're so polar opposites!" she said. "I do like spice, don't get me wrong but we're Swedish - well German and Swedish - but I was raised in Sweden, so bland and dull runs through my blood. Actually, a little grotesque to some." Sipping her wine, she smiled. "You know, I never had anything like curries or things specifically from other cultures until I moved out at sixteen." She shook her head. "So where you had spice, my life was pea soup, pickled herring, a lot of bread," she laughed lightly, "Don't be too jealous."
Aurora's eyes wandered, this time around his kitchen. She'd already noted the bar they were sat at, it didn't particularly bother her - if anything, it felt on brand. A table with many chairs for someone who, no matter how many friends they had, was solo? It didn't make sense. She didn't have one either; most of her dinners were eaten in the living room, over her laptop. Also pretty on brand. "–How did you know you'd done the right thing?" she asked, her hands landing back on him again. She wasn't sure if she'd meant to vocalise the question but it was out now, dancing between them as it waited for her to add context. "Living here, I mean. When did it start finally start falling into place?"
Because God knows Aurora couldn't wait for it to be her turn.
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I think I'm in the "conscious incompetence" stage of being a social animal in the real world and it sucks so majorly. bro what do you do after you realize you're bad at socializing and then in-person interaction gets harder because you know you're failing at it now.
#Robin processes emotions on main#I WANT to get good at socializing#I used to be better and I'm now worse >:[#in some ways. in some ways I've improved (e.g. am kinder). but I used to have more confidence and an easier time staying present#now I'm always shutting down and running away#literally I leave the room and go calm down in my room#I want to learn to regulate that impulse and become a chill person to hang out with. but How#I've been struggling lately with punishing myself for running away (not physically but with like. spirals of self-recrimination)#I think one good step would be to get mindful about praising myself for small steps again. I'll change faster if im kinder to myself#also I think seeking reassurance from the people I'm around more often even if it seems silly would be good#ALSO. a major problem I'm facing is that I am living with my parents. and my little sisters. and I don't... I... it's rough.#I used to parent my 15 (then 9) y/o little sister when my parents were gone and I still struggle with feeling Responsible For Her#so every time she's a little cringe I end up feeling like it's my fault and I'm gonna be punished for it and I don't know how to deal with#—how to deal with it#BIG SIGH#I'm TRYING to become a good adult who can help others rather than just living in desperate self-defensive survival mode forever#but it's so hard bro#and another issue is that I'm growing further and further apart from my parents' fundamentalist brand of Christianity#and feeling more and more incapable of making friends and bringing them to visit me. because I have to be perfect around my parents#how can I make friends if I can't offer them hospitality??#how can I be a fully realized adult if I have to hide in plain sight??#I need to move out so bad. even if I'm lonely at first I HAVE to move out#in related news my seasonal job is Over and I'm looking for full-time work! please pray for me if you're the praying type or just#send me encouraging words#that would help#<33333 I will be ok it's just a bad situation rn
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what if i wrote a twisters au……….
#storm chaser eddie diaz loses his wife trying to capture tornado data realises it’s too dangerous now that he’s a single parent#packs up his life and son and moves from north texas tornado country to LA takes a desk job#one of his old buddies calls him up tells him they’ve got new tech and can really study tornadoes now#but. they need someone who Knows storm chasing to do it#it could change everything it could keep people safe he just has to get them the data. one week.#enter: hotshot cowboy scientist tornado wrangler evan buckley#with his stupid hat and stupid sunshine smile and stupid heart of gold under all that nonsense#is he taking risks for the hell of it. putting himself in danger for internet clout and attention#or if eddie looks a little closer is that all going to fall away. someone smart and silly and only wanting to help#because buck and his friends are there Before During and most importantly After every disaster. making sure everyone’s taken care of#and maybe with him in eddie’s corner eddie can figure it out this time#can make it so he doesn’t always have to worry about his family being in danger of natural disaster#and maybe he can keep buck with his dumb jokes and giant heart and boneheaded bravery#ok sorry i’ve seen twisters three times in the last week i cant stop thinking about it#will maybe scribble some of this down when i have a minute#n
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How can I bribe you into helping me get a job in the industry, other than promising my undying love, which you already have <3
The industry is horrible and awful, low pay, long hours, no real chance of advancing.
Whenever people touring the station or new interns ask me for advice, I always tell them to change careers lol
#ask#plus; i'm a producer for a statewide channel sure; but it's nothing huge or glam#like;; i've gotten to work with celebrities but that's more luck than normal operations#and i've said 'i don't hate what i'm doing i hate where i do it' so much for so long that i don't even believe it anymore#i would only wish a career in television on people i hate#but i do try to be even minded as best i can; like i'm acutely aware i work in probably one of the most toxic environments in the state#i've been sexually harassed; grabbed; locked in a room and screamed at by a psycho freelance producer#been injured and seen graphic injuries that happened because of incompetence; seen theft and assault#and had the men at work get aggressive with me because i'm the youngest and shortest and only woman#told by management i was only given opportunities because i'm a woman and it looks better for their image if they pretend to put me up fron#had my bosses retaliate against me for refusing to do illegal things for them#to the point where i was below the poverty line for several months because of it#told by hr that i have no right to complain about anything because even though i run their biggest show i'm just a contractor#had my work stolen and other people's names put on it so those people get the emmys that my work has earned#and lied to about pay rates so I wouldn't know I'm paid less than the men who have fewer responsibilities and less experience than i do#and now they're waging a war against LGBT employees by promoting ultra-right viewpoints and banning mentions of pride#so no i really don't want to help bring anyone into this environment#every day driving in and driving home i just think about driving my car into a concrete wall#i'm looking for a new job i promise
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