#every fucking positive affirmation just slides off of me i can't believe that shit anymore
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gettin a real Maybe It's Just Not Worth It vibe tonight, enjoy tagspam 👍
#im so fucking sick of wishing i was happier or in a better place or just#better in general#it feels like that's all i can do. just wish that i wasn't miserable and clinging to the will to live every single fucking day#and get lost in the daydream of “wow maybe i won't want to kill myself one of these days that'll be neat!”#but i just don't think it gets better i think that's bullshit#i think that sometimes a person can just waste their life and be miserable and then die and that's just how their story goes#like statistically speaking not all of us can follow our dreams yknow#fuck i don't even HAVE dreams i don't even have that guiding star of like something im interested in or something i want to do with my life#nothing's driving me i'm literally just Here#“staying alive is all you have to do <3” okay that's a nice sentiment but what happens when every day of staying alive is fucking miserable#every fucking positive affirmation just slides off of me i can't believe that shit anymore#i feel like at this point i should make clear that i'm not like Planning Anything Drastic#i don't want to be dead i just desperately want to not be my fucking self anymore#sick of that asshole tbh#i just want to spend a day feeling neutral about myself. just not wishing i was dead#not mentally self harming by looking at other people living lives i feel like are out of reach#man it's not even extravagant stuff it's like one-bedroom apartments with a modest kitchen#like that's what daydreaming is for me it's fucking sad#like what's the point in trying to get better if that's all i'm aspiring to and i can't even manage to pull that shit off :/#anyway#that kinda night#personal#vent
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