#every fic there I’ve read 1000000 times already

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

“Hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me.”

(Spoiler alert: it does)

[falsegoodnight]

these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, podfics, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with *.

*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 25th and any fics read after will be included in next month’s fic rec list because otherwise this is going to be obnoxiously long. 

—

main list ~

✰ black cherries and chocolate by @harryanthus​ | NR | 666 (intense and jarring in the best way. this leaves you with that heart-racing feeling and panic crawling up your throat)

There is something or well, someone in the walls.

✰ keep secrets just to keep you by @hadestyles​ | T | 1k (loved this so much!! and need 1000000 more royalty abos from rori immediately)

“With the elements as my witness, I take you to be my husband. My heartbeat begins with you and ends with you, Louis Tomlinson.” Louis sinks to his knees as well, salty tears mixing with the pure rainwater. “And I take you as mine. My heart beats for you and with you.”

✰ bitter coffee and sweet love by @dontfuckwithmyotp​ | G | 1k (so cute and sweet!! proud of you ari for getting your first fic out and excited to see what you do next!)

“Hello! Welcome to The Busy Bean! Are you new?” Louis blinked in surprise at the voice and looked around to find the source. “Behind you,” The person tapped his shoulder once and he whirled around at the unexpected touch.

“Hey! Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to interrupt a person—” His rant stopped when he finally faced them. It was a guy—Harry Styles, according to his small black name tag. His eyes widened in embarrassment.

✰ turn your mic off, baby by @vogueharrystan​ | E | 2k (i love when lilli writes harry’s pov. this was so hot!)

Louis walks around the house naked all day and ignores Harry to play video games instead. Harry gets tired of it.

✰ This Could Be Love by mulletharry | G | 2k (such a cute and perfect little valentine’s day fic! put the biggest smile on my face <3)

Harry and Louis have been together for four months. They spend their first Valentine’s Day together.

✰ you appear as my soul by @hadestyles​​ | T | 2k (so gorgeous and raw)

He aches — not as much as Louis, he could never imagine all that he bears quietly — and as cruel as it sounds, it keeps reminding him of how fragile they are.

✰ the energy from your body by sweetielouis | E | 3k (hilarious, hot, and cute!)

Harry and his friends have a popular podcast, for the Valentines Day special they get a bit drunk and talk a bit too comfortably about their friends arses.

It's a good thing Louis doesn't mind it all that much. 

✰ look how i remember by @harryanthus​ | M | 4k (this left me speechless and aching)

He hates it, he wants to scream and tell Harry as much. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me as if we are in love. Kiss me like you will never do it again. Kiss me with so much hatred that it turns back to love.

✰ Things Unsaid by @londonfoginacup​ | G | 5k (so so cute and funny!!)

"That chunky oversized sweater is like a clown outfit made for winter."

It feels like time slows down.

Those words echo in his mind, familiar. Why are they familiar? The— the sweater he saw last week. The one with all the knit squares.

The train slows to a stop and Louis just— he doesn’t move. He feels frozen in place as people surge around him. Suddenly everyone is moving too fast and then just as suddenly the car is near empty, taking off again.

The man is gone.

His soulmate is gone.

✰ reckless serenade by @thepolourryexpress​ | E | 4k (adorable and funny and amazing!)

Harry's Google search history may or may not look like 'my girlfriend doesn't know we're dating.'

✰ dancing in the moonlight by @outropeace​ | E | 5k (need 100k more of this immediately, thanks. so wonderful)

Louis’ fuck buddy gets a date for Valentine’s day and he discovers that denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.

✰ The truth is, the stars are falling by larrysbeanies | E | 5k (hot!!! walking-in trope that i love so much)

Harry knows Louis is gay. Hell, he came out to Harry exactly two months ago (when the dreadful dry spell started) because it was becoming increasingly hard to hide the fact that his one night stands were men. And, you know, they’re best friends so there aren’t supposed to be secrets and all that.

Thing is, Louis told Harry he’s gay ergo, Harry is aware that Louis likes men. Why the fuck did he act so normal while fingering him three days ago, then? Is this something straight guys do to their gay best friends in Harry’s world?

Louis would really like to know.

✰ to be used and to be in love by @thelesserneptune​ | E | 5k (blessed that this is a series. really hot and cute!)

Louis doesn't know why his filthy best friend turned into a vanilla boyfriend and thinks of the perfect birthday present to solve that problem.

✰ on the borderline by @princelouisau​ | E | 8k (the way danielle writes... poetry. this broke me down and then stitched me back up <3)

Louis makes his choice.

✰ One Step Closer by agrinwithouthiscat | G | 12k (reading asexual hl fics is instant comfort and this was lovely)

The one fake relationship AU where they don't end up together.

✰ i glow pink in the night by @raspberryoatss​ | E | 12k (hybrid louis perfection, beautiful writing, characters, and story as always!)

Harry reads a lot of articles about hybrids and Louis is determined to prove them wrong.

✰ The Thinker of Tender Thoughts by @speakingwithink | G | 13k (asexual hl again! this one made me cry) 

Louis sits on his hands to stop them from shaking as he adds, ‘and I’m ace.’ If only he had glitter, he thinks. Coming out deserves a bit of sparkle.

✰ Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice by @harriblou​ | M | 13k (enemies with benefits to lovers goodness! so hot and entertaining)

“You’re a fucking brat, you know that,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, bones already burning with the pure desire and hatred mixing in his body. It was an intoxicating rush of adrenaline and something else that probably came with fucking Louis Tomlinson. He squeezed his neck just a little tighter. “I can’t stand it.”

Their lips were brushing against each other, just moving with the ragged movements of their mouths and harsh breathing.

“You’re a lying piece of shit dickhead,” Louis muttered right back. That was all he did, challenge and nag. He loved to have the last word and Harry let him because he used all his energy to fuck him mindless.

✰ hold onto your stars by vashtaneradas | NR | 16k (this writer’s atmosphere/prose draws me in every time. such a lovely story)

Harry's in the army, Louis' back home, and ninety days is a lifetime.

✰ The Future is Now by @jacaranda-bloom​ | E | 16k (love fics in this five times format and this one was so unique and cool!! and the friends to lovers aspect = chef’s kiss)

Five times Louis follows the fortunes to seek out his true love, and the one time he realises that what he's been searching for might've been right in front of him the whole time.

✰ Visceral Heat & Carnal Highs by @theisolatedlily​ | E | 18k (the prose in this... gorgeous. so fucking good and addicting. delighted that there’s going to be a sequel and excited for whatever lily does next!)

Louis is a demon at a house party prowling for a meal, indulging in horrendous sins to satisfy his hunger. Harry is the talk of the night, beckoning all eyes on him and the reason why Louis’s plan goes awry.

✰ deFENCEless by @solvetheminourdreams​ | T | 27k (this was so cute and so funny and i had the biggest smile on my face the entire time. not surprised since stef always evokes that in me with her writing)

When Louis butts heads with his new neighbor who loves to garden a little too much, all he can do to protect his yard (and heart), is keep on building up his fence(s).

✰ darling, you give love a bad name by snowcaplou | M | 29k (been waiting for this one since summer and i wasn’t disappointed! so wonderful and real!)

Louis’ has been best friends with Gemma all his life in this stupid little town he’s grown to hate. What happens when, after one night together with his best friend’s brother, he falls pregnant? Surrounded by small minds and conservative cultures, Louis has to deal with parents that demand they do the “right” thing. Get married before anybody finds out.

✰ The Haunting of Louis Tomlinson* by @helloamhere​ | T | 31k (will never not be an all-time favorite. louis’ character is my absolute favorite - gothic heroine indeed - and harry is the best dramatic gay ghost ever <3)

Louis is a plucky Gothic Heroine, Harry is a Mournful Spirit, and Big Country Houses are full of mystery and suspense, as Big Country Houses ever are!

✰ begged and borrowed time by @bottomlwt​ | M | 40k (this concept was so unique and so cool!! loved the medieval setting and the time travel and how everything fit together in the end!!)

“It wasn’t until 1568 that it became time for Prince Harry to find a queen and prepare to rule. However, the day he was set to choose his bride-to-be, he mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again despite the multiple search parties that went on through the years. To this day, historians still do not know what happened with the infamous Prince Styles case..."

✰ Lidocaine and Palm Trees.* by @daddyharrie​ | E | 45k (definition of ris comfort read - on nth reread and still love it wholly. makes me miss la which is an astonishing feat in itself) 

Heat, fake tans and lots of traffic.

Harry never expected to earn his living this way when he moved to LA.

Louis didn't think he could ever be the same after his divorce.

A lighthearted story about two guys trying to find themselves in the vibrant, sprawling city of Los Angeles, with a side of technical porn industry stuff.

✰ haunted by the ghost of you* by @missandrogyny​ | E | 49k (perhaps my favorite fic of all time? the humor, the characters, the angst?!?! all the britney spears!! and pink ouija boards and wikihow!!)

He’s tall—that’s the first thing that registers in Louis’ head when he spots him, standing with his hands behind his back. Tall, with curly hair, staring at them with the widest, greenest eyes Louis has ever seen. And wait, are those dimples? Louis didn’t know ghosts could have dimples.

Because he’s definitely a ghost, this boy. At first glance he looks normal, standing there pigeon-toed in a band shirt (The Ramones, Louis can’t help but note incredulously), dark jeans, and some boots, with rings on both hands, and tattoos littering his left arm—a sleeve made of anchors and names and roses and other completely unrelated things. But he’s also a little bit translucent; if Louis focuses, he can see the outline of the furniture, the design of the wallpaper through him.

“Hi,” the boy—the ghost—says to Louis. His face shifts; somehow his dimples dig deeper into his cheeks. His eyes flit from Louis, to Niall, to Liam, and finally to Zayn, and his face goes from shocked to elated. “I’m Harry.”

At in that exact moment, standing between three of his best friends and staring at a (quite handsome) ghost, Louis can only think one thing.

Nick Grimshaw was right.

✰ like real people do by @eeveelou​ | E | 64k (this was... so amazing. the characters were so wonderfully written and so was the journey of healing and growth that louis undertakes over the story :’) loved the contrast between l and h’s lives and how they fit into each other still so perfectly)

Jessica Jones AU in which the dead stay where they belong, featuring Zayn as the high-powered lawyer with a hopeless crush on his assistant Liam, Niall as the constantly stoned but strangely insightful neighbor, Harry as Manhattan’s media darling, and Louis as the never-was hero who’s just trying to pick up the pieces.

✰ Black With Autumn Rain by whimsicule | T | 93k (i actually can’t remember if i’ve read this before??? either way - it was wonderful! loved the setting and atmosphere and the supernatural elements! i was so intrigued from the first sentence onwards)

Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren’t exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

podfics ~

✰ tall stories on the page by @soldouthaz​ & read by @softlouislove​ | T (hannah’s voice is so lovely and perfect for reading aloud - and ofc the fic itself is amazing)

Harry's tired of being interviewed by people that only care about the same pointless gossip. Louis is a nice change of pace. 

wips ~

✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved​ | E | 60k | 6/16 (just caught up fully today but i’m really enjoying everything! this is everything i’ve ever wanted in a fantasy fic)

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

✰ ‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies​ | E | 39k | 3/10 (having a blast reading this one!! i’ve never seen the bachelor in my life but in fic-format, it’s so fun!)

So maybe Louis’ in over his head.

He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.

✰ The Night Still Whispers Sins of Old by @toomanydreamers​ | E | 6k | 2/? (loving this so much, as expected. can’t wait to see how everything unfolds)

Two and a half years have passed since the fateful day when Louis and Harry were crowned Triwizard champions. Confronted with misunderstandings, wounded pride and heartache, Louis stumbled away from the possibility of a future relationship with Harry. Instead, he buried himself into relentless work as a junior Auror and refused to let himself be vulnerable with another person. Circumstances change that force Louis to confront his feelings - and Harry. Stolen glances, picnics at sunrise, thrilling adventures, original spellwork, midnight feasts, soft lips and cautious second chances culminate in an unforgettable mission - but will it be enough to mend their relationship?

non-1d ~

✰ like a bullet needs a gun by @millsxwriting​ | T | 21k | wilds au (despite me having no context, mills still got me to fall in love with toni and shelby. this was so cute and lovely!!)

Toni doesn’t expect to fall for anyone in her senior year. Least of all for Shelby Goodkind, the new girl that arrived in town just before the end of summer. In fact, Toni can’t even look at her for longer than two seconds, or listen to more than three sentences coming out of her mouth without wanting to accidentally push her off a cliff. 

Cue a group project and endless bickering, and suddenly Toni finds herself with an unbearable crush.

If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

[mego42]

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie​’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them. 

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study 

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers​

another grief study! 

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch 

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!! 

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!! 

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire​

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee​

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless​

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues​

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E  A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks​

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux 

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur​

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety 

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87​

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy 

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87​

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio? 

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is? 

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d 

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian​

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania​​

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy 

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

[welcome-to-the-gay-bar]

So I we started to watch Attack on Titan again after many years and I’ve just finished season two and before starting season three I wanted to take a trip down memory lane and look at all my old favourite AOT fan fictions from 2014 (and see what’s popular nowadays that I may have missed, since wow, a lot has changed since I was last present in this fandom and compared to what’s happening in the current episodes season one was tame).

I’ve noticed a huge divide between fanon and canon and I kinda wanted to ruminate on this a bit.

Eren’s character in the show isn’t my favourite. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still fond of this brash idiot, but he’ll never be my favourite. He falls into this shonen protagonist trope of being hot headed and ill tempered. He doesn’t take advice, he’s not going to listen to plans or authority, he always thinks he’s right and only follows his moral compass, and to tie it all up he’s not even that strong. He can’t back up the threats that he’s laying down and yet he always rushes into situations with fists flying and never thanks or appreciates the characters (Mikasa) that get him out of those tricky situations. The only way to get through to him is to physically beat him down and even then it may not work if he hadn’t already somewhat respected you (Mikasa again). This character type is seen so often in shonen and I’m really not a fan, I like the cool and calculating protagonist better. Someone who has the power behind their threats and doesn’t rush into situations. Again, I like Eren, but I think it’s the other characters in the show that balance him out and the plot itself that makes me like Attack on Titan.

Compare this to fanon where his default character is happy ray of sunshine who’s a little bit naive. It’s a rather jarring comparison but I also don’t necessarily dislike it either. To me canon and fanon characteristics are almost completely seperate. If I had to always think a d compare fan fiction to canon I probably couldn’t read it. I read about happy fanon Eren and see canon angry Eren and to me they are two completely different characters - two completely different people even. If I had to read fan fiction about canon Eren I can 1000000% say that I just wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I’d be totally bored. As I said before, I like Eren but it’s the people around him and the plot itself that makes him bearable. I can watch a show about him because it takes less time and emotional energy, but I couldn’t invest in reading a book about him (which is why I haven’t read the manga either).

This isn’t even exclusively towards Attack on Titan. Back in my Teen Wolf phase I noticed how different canon and fanon characters were. Small secret - I was knee deep in the Teen Wolf fandom before I realised that I hadn’t actually watched an episode of Teen Wolf. One of my mutual’s reblogged TW artwork that was linked to a story and from that I never looked back. When I actually did get around to watching TW I can honestly say I was more than a wee bit disillusioned. Derek and Stiles are obviously not the main characters and I was prepared for that, but then they barely interacted, and when they did interact it was nothing like what I had read about - nothing like what their fanon characters or interactions were like. I can honestly say that I never made it past the first season - the show just wasn’t for me - but I was still thoroughly invested in the fandom for another year or two.

Something about fanon Sterek dynamics just did it for me, their characters and relationship was just so on point for what I wanted, and this is kind of when I came to accept that canon and fanon can be so different that it almost feels as if it’s two pieces of completely different media. I mean, fanon has its own set of rules, it’s own character tropes and story arcs that even completely different authors with completely different stories somewhat instinctively know to follow. I think that’s amazing, but it’s also a double edged sword. See these first two examples were of shows that I A) never watched/finished before reading fan fiction, B) don’t necessarily love love the characters in canon. That means that fanon is more appealing because it takes something I don’t care too strongly for and changes it to something more appealing. But what about when fanon takes something I love and cherish and remoulds it?

I want to briefly take this time to talk about something I’ve dubbed “the twink affect”. When you take a character that’s originally strong willed, self sufficient, and somewhat masculine and you pair the, up with someone EVEN MORE strong willed, self sufficient, and masculine - the “Alpha male” of characters if you will. I find that fanon is incapable of seeing two strong men together in a relationship and will eventually slowly twinkify one of them. Make them smaller, softer, lonelier, less self sufficient and more reliant on others, they need to be taken care of, they’re now a ball of sunshine that’s radiant and joyful, they’re cotton candy that melts on your tongue. You put them next to the pairing you ship them with and instead of seeing two strong men you see a bear and a twink. That’s definitely what’s happened to the two characters/pairings mentioned before and I honestly didn’t mind because I wasn’t protective of the source material, but when it does happen to a character I love it’s the most frustrating thing in the world, and I can’t even complain because I’ve already reaped the benefits from other fandoms. (I am going to complain though, this is my blog and I can do what I want mum.)

I’m going to talk about Mo Dao Zu Shi. Beautiful story that I love in (almost) all its various adaptations, but I’ve noticed the ever slow changing of fanon’s Wei Wuxian. For anyone reading this that hasn’t read MDZS (or if anyone’s reading this at all, I am expecting to just be shouting into the void at this point) Wei Wuxian dies - not a spoiler, it happens at the very beginning of the story - and comes back to life in the body of Mo Xuanyu. Mo Xuanyu is small malnourished and twinky - he even canonically wears makeup (or at least has it in his possession, I’m getting the various adaptations confused and I can’t remember if in canon Wei Wuxian woke up in Mo Xuanyu’s body already wearing the makeup or if he just finds the tin of makeup in Mo Xuanyu’s possessions). Wei Wuxian’s character is also a bit of a tease, and now he’s alive and unburdened by the past he’s much freer now than he was in the past, couple that with the fact that he’s pretending to be Mo Xuanyu (a character who is rumoured to be gay and also a bit insane) he goes all out in pretending to be a shameless flirt, and it’s honestly hilarious, I love his character. So in a sense he has all the makings of a canon twink and I’m really not here to shame on those who portray him that way while he’s in Mo Xuanyu’s body.

My personal issue is with the same extreme twink portrayal while he’s in his original body. In his original body Wei Wuxian is BUFF. He’s hunky, he’s in the top five most eligible bachelors, he’s *car honks* woof woof bark bark *whistles* puurrrr, he’s one of the most powerful cultivators of his generation, he’s a genius too. He’s hunky. He still has the cheeky shameless character, but when you compare him to the male lead Lan Wangji, they’re about the same size and strength. My favourite type of fan fiction in MDZS is fix it/everybody lives nobody dies/no war/etc etc. Basically stories where Wei Wuxian keeps his original body. The fanon twink portrayal of him being so small and soft and weak while in canon he’s one of the strongest and smartest urks me in ways I can’t explain. It’s not what I want, not what I’m looking for. I love him for who he is in canon and to see his character so distorted by fans of the original work is frustrating. I just want to read about Wei Wuxian as a jock with his equally buff and tall nerd boyfriend.

I want to pause here and say that I have nothing against authors that write him in a twinky way, I respect your work and your characters (and as I said before I’ve reaped the benefits of other fandoms twinky character portrayals numerous times), if I read a fic that I’m not happy with the characterisation I just close the tab and move on so absolutely no hate to anyone who enjoys this character type. I’m just ruminating on the fact that I’ve been seeing it happen more and more often lately to the point where I’ve kind of bounced the fandom and am sticking to other works like Scum Villain that haven’t yet twinkified too much (there will always be one or two stories in every fandom that twinkify and honestly? I respect that. Authors said twink rights ONLY, good for them).

Mo Dao Zu Shi isn’t the only fandom I’ve been in that I’ve negatively reacted to fanon. Another one would be Batman (I love Tim with all my heart and I love him getting treated nicely but damn I sometimes wish people would remember how freaking strong and amazing he is too), 2Ha is another I’ve started to see “twinkified” (although I don’t mind seeing Chu Wanning being soft and taken care of, he is canonically called handsome and masculine and he’s quite tall too), I’ve even seen the canonically “top” character (and that seems so weird to write oml) be twinkified by fandom because they want to see him get bottomed for ~equal rights~ because apparently bottoming is seen as a “woman’s position” to them and they’re trying to be woke by switching the sexual positions up but failing to see how misogynistic and homophobic that take is (imma stop myself here because that a WHOLE ‘nother can or worms to be opened right there).

What I’m trying to say is fanon is a double edged sword and I’ve definitely enjoyed some and hated some. I think it’s important to seperate the two. I do think it’s annoying for fandoms to be flooded with mischaracterisation when you actually do like the original characters and I wish there was some way to seperate fandom into “actual canon fans” and “fans of fanon”, but I don’t have a solution and I’ve definitely contributed to the problem in the past so for that I’m sorry.

I don’t know how to end this long ass rant, I don’t know what the goal was in writing this, but taadaa ~ here’s my exceptionally long take on fanon.

[docholligay]

Writing Survivors and WINNNERSSSSSSS

This was an EXCEEDINGLY simple question, because sometimes Holligays deserve to get their ego stroked. As a treat! : Which of my fics is your favorite? 

the two that immediately spring to mind (aside from your friday nov 13 fluff about which i've already furiously emailed you) are roughly recalled as follows: 1) usagi invites rei out for ramen to pitch her new goal of becoming a food critic. she uses the word "zesty" to describe her meal, and i feel the precise blend of exasperated, protective adoration you describe coursing through rei. i also recall the descriptions of the setting being quite vivid, as well as coloured so well by the shifting emotional landscape of our pov character. 2) haruka is sad at a fancy event, and slips out to wallow (most sympathetically, of course). ah, but how vague! possibly an au...certainly it is cold outside? she may not be wearing more than a jacket, which i believe she may offer to usagi, who comes looking for her. the details are fuzzy, but i was so struck by your use of the word "bright" in this piece that i've thought of this fic roughly every other time i've read the word "bright" since. oh, and who could forget "we know the devil?" but i've said quite a bit about that one already, and the deadline fast approaches (i think)! TOO BAD ---- @rasiqra-revulva Oh my god I forgot that Usaig and Haruka one!!!! 

I can't remember the titles of them now, but two of my absolute favorites that you've written are the 'Imaginary Friend' one with Haruka with the ghost Michiru and 'In the walls'. Both of them deal with haunted houses, and both characters deal with them in very different ways. And that is probably why I like them both so very much. Neither of them has a 'happy' ending (although Haruka might just make it out of hers with a bit of luck) and that lack of a happy ending comes from the weakness of each character. In addition, both stories are tremendously creepy. I think about both quite a bit when I'm noodling around with horror writing. ---@shavedjudomonkey Thank you! I LOVED imaginary friends, I’m not sure I’ve ever done better.

A Stopped Clock? i am bad with titles but the one after one of the OW character reveals where Tracer had her stabilizer broken! I sponsored that one and *did not* expect to get so much out of it and the prose throughout is so good, so vivid and effective, how dare you be so good at making me care about these characters when the actual writers don't, 1000000/10 would sponsor again --- @katrani  There are parts of A Stopped Clock that are some of my FAVORITE writing. Man, I feel like this year I haven’tdone anything with tht sort of quality, but thank you!! 

An Unwanted Favor, most definitely. First off, I love the title, partially for how its meaning is only really conveyed once the twist hits, but also for how succinctly it sums up the difficult place Mina finds herself in: on the receiving end of something done as a kindness, with no say in the matter. Haruka's decision is somehow both selfless and selfish, and yet we know from her message and how she's portrayed, that even if it was a bit hurtful, it was truly done with only the best of intentions. Mina's hurt, and she can't even yell about it, and probably actually feels a little bit guilty about wanting to in the first place. It's a very tricky emotional position to be in, and it's even harder to convey in writing.

 I love too, how your strong your characterizations are of the senshi. I know I'm an outlier among your followers, but I'm really only familiar with Sailor Moon in the most basic of ways. I watched about a season and a half of the dub and played the SHIT out of Drops, but that's about it, outside of your (and Jet's) fics. But, as with the people who love your Overwatch fanfics despite never playing a moment of the game, I often find myself really enjoying the senshi purely through your loving depictions of them. I especially love the description of Rei's prodding at Mina as lancing a boil (emotional healthcare through minor emotional violence), especially the bit where the words come out before she's done formulating them (deeply relatable).

 And, this is maybe overreaching a bit, but there's one line that I always read a lot of significance into. Sometimes when I write things, I find that there's certain lines that are like keystones for me, that I'll structure entire paragraphs around. Sometimes it's because they explain things so well that the work falls apart without them, or sometimes it's just that I think they're really clever, or have great rhythm, and drive things along nicely. But my favorite keystones are the ones that, in literary terms,  "fuck me up real bad". It's when I write something that hits ME like a ton of bricks right after I've written it, usually cause it's brutally sad, and I know that even if nobody reads the thing, or has that same reaction to it, sometime in the future I'll come back and read it and go "that's some real shit right there." 

 All that just to say, that "maybe this is my reward for doing okay. I get to be with her again" always hits me like one of those lines. I read that, and it fucks me up, and on some level I imagine you writing that line back then and going "aw hell yeah" to yourself, in one of those moments one really only gets when you're totally on your game, and it makes me smile. Maybe I'm wrong! But I'd prefer not to know, if that's the case. We all have our headcanons, and that one's mine. ---- @blastoise_m  Oh my god thank you so much!! I’m so glad you loved it so much, it’s been so long since I even thought about it and this made me smile so much! 

CURRENT "Endings and Beginnings" in the MAS-verse - so many of your MAS stories are rich with emotion and pain and reality and *life* intertwined in such amazing combinations, but I first read this one at a time when I was grieving an old loss turned fresh, at a time when I needed it, and always, to this day, it makes me cry happy tears. I love it - how even grief can turn into something beautiful, and my world would be a much sadder place without this particular, spectacular story. --- @amberlilly

AND YOU DID NOT LEAVE A NAME SO YOUR ENTRY WAS TOSSED BECAUSE I CAN’T VERIFY YOUUUUUU -- ALL OF THEM but especially Ruka Hood, for being both EXTREMELY fun and for just how good the characters are and how you explore them, and A Simple Game (I think?? The senshi civil war one) because the scene where Michiru drowns her entire family in the aquarium is SO GOOD, and finally St. Ralph bc I’m a repressed catholic gay to the end

Randomized survivors under the cut!

Holligay Answers For Her Crimes

Holligay Loves Food (questions/prompts sent in)

Holligay Screams About Her Favorite Characters (any media)

Nonfiction/Personal writing (prompts sent in, however vague or specific)

Holligay Rants/Raves About (positive or negative, prompts sent in)

Holligay History posts (Y'all will have to actually send in questions/prompts, mind)

Outline for a more satisfying final season of She Ra Holligay style / HBO style

[synchronmurmurs]

How the heck does one write smut? I keep trying to write something, but every time I just wind up giggling to myself and erasing what I wrote. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

Ahhh, I’m not sure I can be the best of help, but I’ll do what I can, nonnie!! 💪 Is it more that you’re like... ‘embarrassed’, so to speak? Like there’s some part of you that still thinks it’s FORBIDDEN GROUND, kinda like when we all (don’t deny it) used to look up penis and vagina in the dictionary (DON’T DENY IT) and have ourselves a little laff? Because if that’s the case, I’m not sure there’s a whole lot that I can tell you other than to simply power through it. When I first wrote Lover’s Paradise (which was my first go at writing smut since 2013), I know I was definitely stopping to put my head in my hands every few sentences, but I mean...... look at me now, 80% of what I write is smut. Devil’s Pact was built off the premise of smut. 🤣🤣 It’s the sort of thing that you’ll be desensitised to as time goes on. Practice makes perfect, just keep reading and keep writing, and it’ll smooth out for you in time...!

But if you’re looking for uh.. technical methods, I’d say it’s best to start off writing only what you’re comfortable with, and what kinks you actually want to write. Don’t feel pressured to match standards, fic length, number of kinks explored, or anything similar, because all of that is garbage, and comparison is the thief of joy. I can’t stress this enough when it comes to writing in general: COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY. Stick to what you want to do, and have fun with it most of all. Look at gifs, find the sort of tone/mood that you want to convey in your smut, look at art - pick apart all that body language and slow movement. Nothing is too flagrant or purple prose-y, because you’re writing your piece the way that you want to in your style, and that makes it special already. ✨✨

Terminology, as far as I’ve seen, seems to be at the discretion of the writer. More into using synonyms, analogies, metaphors and... even euphemisms to describe the do? That’s 1000000% valid and nobody can fault you for that. Wanna shove cock and cunt and puss into every other sentence? MORE POWER TO YOU. Readers will have their preferences of course, but your aim is not to please everybody. Not only is that literally impossible to do, but that should never be your aim when you write anything. Your goal is to please yoself. Your goal is to TREAT YOSELF!!!!!

......I think a lot of this got away from me ksjfdh but tldr; stick to what you’re comfortable with because you will naturally branch out in time, stick to what you want to write, and have fun!!!!!!!!!!

I hope that was of some help to you, nonnie, even if in some small way. Good luck with your writan!!!! ✨✨🍀

[sincerelynamkook]

Sincerely, Namjoon

Namjoon x Reader First POV

Genre: Soft/Fluff/Romance Word Count: 1989

Playlist: “Brown Eyed Blues” by Adrian Hood

On a tiresome evening and day 1000000 of missing Joon, you receive an unexpected letter...

[P.S. This is the first fic in a series I’m working on called “Bangtan Love Letters.” Hope you like it!]

6:05 PM.

 He hasn't called me or texted me. He usually calls during my lunch break because he knows how much I miss him and that his soothing voice is the only thing that gets me through my hectic work day. The fact that I haven’t heard from him all day is worrisome. I know he was still in NY today since they just finished their US leg of the tour so why the fuck hasn’t he called me?

I’m in the backseat of my Uber, stuck in traffic, contemplating whether or not to call him even though I know it’s highly unlikely he’ll answer due to their hectic schedule. I even contemplate texting Seokjin but he’ll probably just bring up the fact that I owe him homemade cookies since I lost our bet about whether Jungkook would cry at the last US show or not and I’m really not up for his mocking tone right now.

“Ma’am, we’re at your destination.” I hear my Uber driver say, bringing me out of my muddled thoughts. I quickly exit the car and walk up the steps to my apartment building, stopping at my mailbox to grab my mail and packages. That lavender oil and chamomile lotion I ordered for Joon the other day should’ve arrived. I take the elevator to the eighth floor, checking my phone every five seconds in case I missed a call or text. Nothing.

I enter my apartment and immediately charge my phone. My stress is at an all time high. I swear I’m going to kick his ass when I hear from him. I can’t live like this!

I take off my shoes, walk over to my floor to ceiling windows and open the blinds. I need some sunshine in my life at the moment. I grab my mail and packages and sit on my loveseat.

“Alexa play ‘Brown Eyed Blues’ by Adrian Hood.” I’m in the mood to feel even sadder I guess.

I decide to open my mail first and open up a few bills, ads, but then I come across a simple white letter envelope with no return address. My name and address are written in small dainty script. With a curious mind I open it carefully.

In it, is a handwritten letter. I bring it closer to me and I instantly get a whiff of his scent. My eyes get teary as I begin to read…

“My most precious sweets,

By now you’re probably wondering why I haven’t called or texted you. You’re probably sitting on your couch listening to ‘Brown Eyed Blues’ with your windows open. I wrote this letter 3 days ago knowing it would arrive today and that you’d be opening it around 6:45pm.” He knows me so well. My tears have begun to fall down my face.

“I wrote this letter as soon as we got off the phone because I instantly missed you. I’ve been gone for 3 months and it never gets easier being away from you. I was thinking back to the day we first met. It was back in 2017 right before the AMAs here in the states. You were prancing around Han River, drunk I might add, at 3 o’clock IN THE MORNING. Who in their right mind is out in Seoul at that time? Especially someone who was just visiting for a week? Now that I think about it, do you know how dangerous that is? Please don’t ever do that again baby. I’m so glad I’m the one that found you and not some creep.” I quietly laugh because at the time I did think he was a creep.

“But you looked so carefree and happy and so fucking beautiful. The moon was shining brightly on you and I could see the softness of your hair flowing in the wind as you twirled around and sang ‘Brown Eyed Blues.’ I know you don’t believe me when I tell you how beautiful your voice is but baby, that day I thought you were an angel that had come down from the heavens to explore this world. And then you messed up the lyrics, giggled loudly and almost tripped on the branches laying around and that was my chance to get close to you and be your knight in shining armor…until I also tripped and we came tumbling down on the ground. You laughed even louder thus making me laugh. But I knew, at 3:17 AM, when your face got close to mine, felt your soft breath on my neck and felt my heartstrings being pulled, I knew you were meant to be mine.” I am in full blown tears now, I get up to grab my box of tissues from my bedroom and hurry back to the couch to continue reading his letter.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but that day, at 3:17 AM, I fell in love with you. When you realized we were both still laying on the ground and that you were still in my arms, you looked up at me with those big brown eyes of yours and the world stopped for a few minutes. You slowly got up and gathered yourself, apologizing to me as if you were a burden bestowed upon me when in fact you were the greatest gift.”

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. He has to know that was the moment I fell in love with him too. When I calmed down from my high, and sobered up a bit from all the laughter that day, I looked up at him to find him smiling down at me with that dimple on full display. His hair, although it was mostly hidden by the big hoodie he had on, was that greyish/light brown hair I love so much and the wind was making it fall over his smiling eyes. I could feel his strength as he still held me tight in his arms. I don't know what it was, but I also felt my heartstrings being pulled. As if he was my red thread, the one I’ve been following all my life until it led me to him. 

“You stood up and held out your hand to help me up. The moment I touched your skin I felt goose bumps crawl all over me. I held your hand tightly and stood up. You looked so shy, tucking your hair behind your ears and quietly thanked me. I remember stifling my laughter because you still looked so drunk but you were trying hard to sober up, which is why I asked you out for some coffee. I was afraid you’d reject my offer seeing as I was this complete stranger but when I saw your lips form the word yes my heart burst with joy. We walked side by side along Han river until we reached a small empty café that was still open. You ordered your complicated latte but when you said no whip cream I secretly smiled knowing that you’re the type of girl that likes to be extra but yet are still simple when you get to the core. I remember talking for hours and hours until the sun rose and you finally  asked for my name. At this point I had already figured out your name but I was waiting to see if you had recognized me or not. When I told you my name, Namjoon, you rested your chin on your hand, squinted your eyes and said, ‘Namjoon? Like Kim Namjoon from BTS?’ I lifted my cup of coffee to my lips, smiled, and winked. From the few hours that we had known each other I learned you weren’t going to freak out like some crazy fangirl, but I also didn't expect your reaction of full on amazement.” I smile, remembering how speechless I was at finding out the guy who saved me from falling on my face was THE Kim Namjoon. I’m so glad I wasn't sober enough to actually freak out like the crazy fangirl I am.

“Your eyes got so big and you just said ‘wow.’ I laughed, thinking you were so adorable. When I asked you for your number, you were hesitant, but babe I’m glad you finally gave in and gave it to me. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if you weren’t in it these past two years. I know we don’t spend enough time together since I have such a hectic schedule but you never once complain about it and instead of being mad you have given me and my brothers so much love and support. I know they love you as much as I do.

You have brought so much love and happiness to my life. You are my muse. Every time I’m in the studio, you are the first thing that pops into my head when I’m writing lyrics. Every thing around me is centered around you and only you. I don’t ever want that to change.

By now, you’re probably sobbing like the big baby you are (even though you like to put up a front and act all tough).” I giggle knowing he’s right.

“I want to end with this; know that wherever I am, I am always thinking of you. I fall asleep with the image of you in my mind and I wake up ecstatic knowing you’re mine. Not a day goes by that I’m not hoping to be next to you, holding you in my arms, and breathing the same air as you. And even if I see you, I miss you. You’ve probably played ‘Brown Eyed Blues’ 15 times…but tell your Alexa to stop, and listen closely.”

 Wait what?

I tell Alexa to stop playing music. I tilt my head, wondering if I’m crazy for doing what he asked me to do via a letter. After a few seconds I don't hear anything besides the birds chirping outside my window so I finish reading the letter.

What I find in the last paragraph are the lyrics to “Brown Eyed Blues” and I faintly hear the beat of the song outside my door but I pay it no mind thinking it’s Alexa still softly playing the song.

“She’s got those eyes, those eyes,

That’ll see right through you

When she leaves,

I wanna leave with her too

And she’s on, my mind

Like all, all the time

When we touch I go weak

And I can hardly speak

And I hope she thinks about me

Cause I’m always thinking of her”

I hear someone softly singing outside my door. My heart starts to beat rapidly. I walk slowly towards it, not ready to see who's on the other side. I hold the letter close to my heart as I reach the door knob.

I slowly open the door and find him standing there with his hands inside his pants pockets. His silver hair is styled neatly. He’s wearing his Katazurizome Yukata jacket that I love so much even though I give him shit all the time about how expensive it is.

My tears don't stop falling down my face. He takes a step closer, then another one, until he’s right in front of me softly wiping my tears away. His soothing voice is still singing our song… 

“I just wanna hold her hand, be her man…” He grabs my free hand with his left and brings it to his chest, pulling me even closer to him. I let out a sob. 

“I wanna know if she’d take a chance, Cause I’m still not revealing, Cause I still get the feeling, That loving her is a game I’ll always lose, I got the brown eyed blues”

He hugs me tight, I rest my head on his shoulder freely crying like a big baby.

“I missed you. And even when I see you, I still miss you” He softly whispers in my ear.

[siennaswritings]

This or That Tag Game

Thank you so so much @pens-swords-stuff for the tag!!!! I can’t believe I forgot to do this until now, cause it looks SO FUN!!

Slow Burn or Love At First Sight

Idk if this makes sense, but I kind of like both...? Like, I love the immediate catching of feelings mixed with the whole “but there’s no way they feel like that abt me so why bother” trepidation, so it still takes them ridiculously long to confess to each other~

Fake Dating or Secret Dating

FAKE!! DATING!!! FOR!!! THE!!!! WIN!!!!!!! I love the having to hide in plain sight mixed with wistful sighs and reasons why they’re dating being thinly veiled confessions!!!

Enemies to Lovers or Best Friends to Lovers

Ok but like... can I raise you an enemies to lovers to best friends to exes to enemies again until finally they settle back to lovers??? Cause FUCK I love that shit... 

Oh no, there’s only one bed! or Long-Distance with Correspondence

GIVE ME ONE BED OR GIVE ME DEATH DIUVBJAISUVJB I lOVE the trope that’s like, getting stuck in the middle of nowhere due to faulty transportation and there only being one shit motel within walking distance with only one usable room there. It’s So Fun.

Hurt/Comfort or Amnesia

This... THIS IS WHAT I ACTUALLY LIVE FOR. For real, my AO3 tagline isn’t “The Mailman of Angst” for nothing, fellas... I want my characters to hurt and I want my readers to hurt more, but I want to hurt the WORST because if I’m not hurting then what’s the Point. 

Fantasy AU or Modern AU

If the story doesn’t have at least five different kinds of magical species and some backstabbing wizardly mentors, then, again, what’s the Point

Mutual Pining or Domestic Bliss

Tbh Domestic Bliss is just very limiting to me for a story in progress. That’s what they’re working towards, gimme mutual pining to get there (and about fifty other things to keep them apart to make the getting together all the sweeter).

Smut or Fluff

I never write smut just cause, like... with all the angst and fluff I have, smut just would be a distraction lmaoooo. At most I’ll do a fade-out, but this leaves fluff for the win.

Canon Compliant With Missing Scene or Fix-it Fic

I always write canon compliant fics, unless its just in an au. It’s just fun writing out my own headcanons of what’s happening between the lines.

Alternate Universe or Future Fic

AU, 1000000%. Unless we’re talking a time travel au where they go into the future for a short while to learn a valuable lesson before coming back to the present~

One Shot or Multi-chapter

I can never keep myself down to one book, much less one chapter. Even if it’s initially labeled a one shot (unless it was a request), I’ll eventually find a reason to come back and expand on it. The ideas, they are a-plenty.

Kid Fic or Roadtrip

ROADTRIP IN AN RV WITH CAMPING SCENES AND THINLY VEILED MUTUAL PINING THAT BECOMES UNAVOIDABLE WHEN STUCK IN A CONFINED SPACE!!!!! 

Reincarnation or Character Death

I’ve frankly never read anything personally that’s implemented reincarnation well (if you have recs, let me know!!!). So, character death (aka my bread and butter) is a must.

Arranged Marriage or Accidental Marriage

I mean... there’s just so many angsty routes you can go with this... 

High School Romance or Middle Aged Romance

I love high school romances that fall apart after graduation only for them to come back for familial visits and rediscover why they were head over heels for each other, thus becoming a middle aged romance.

Time Travel or Isolated Together

So I’m a sci-fi/fantasy fan, so time travel is always delicious. I love the havoc that ensues... But, I will admit, I have a lot of issues with how time travel is implemented a lot of the time. It feels like the majority of the time, time travel mechanics just Aren’t understood, so it makes for a very frustrating storyline... 

Neighbors or Roommates

Roommates just forces a lot more interaction between the characters, not only with accidentally seeing each other naked but also just getting to know those annoying habits you only know of someone if you’ve lived with them.

Sci-fi AU or Magic AU

I mean... Yes.

Bodyswap or Genderbend

I really enjoy the trope of walking in each other’s shoes and getting to know their struggles, so bodyswap is good, but genderbend is so tasty because of the shift in power dynamics, to me. 

Angst or Crack

GIMME ANGST OR GIVE ME NOTHING. I need the pain to remind myself I’m alive, so please, for the love of everything... I need the angst.

Apocalyptic or Mundane

Look, I live mundanely, so I need a good apocalypse to shake me every once in a while (or once a year, if you’re Buffy). I love the time crunch of an end of the world prophecy, the adrenaline and the comradery it creates. UGH it’s just so good.

Tagging: @milkyway-writes, @celestialbunnistories, @erinbeatty, @belles-library, @tabbykatwrites, @cookiecutterwrites, and anyone else who’d like to do it! If I’ve tagged you and you’ve already done this/are not interested, then please ignore!

[ichigopanhpff]

BNHA Fic: Blink! Ch. 22

Read Ch. 21 | Masterlist

We are back! Sorry for the delay.

This is in between the Villains Power-up in Deika and Redemption Arc. This’ll be a festive one. Enjoy!

With the midterms finished, everyone in U.A. let out a huge sigh of relief and geared up for the holidays. Class 1-A put in a collaborative effort in putting up Christmas decorations around the dorm. Even though the school secured them a Christmas tree, the class still asked Todoroki to use his ice quirk to make a giant ice block in the courtyard for Kirishima to carve one out so the dorm would be extra festive. To really make it 1-A’s tree, Ashido suggested putting a personal item of theirs to decorate. At the end of it, their makeshift tree looked like a hot crystallized mess, yet it worked well with who they were.

Eri stopped by the dorms with Togata the weekend before Christmas because she wanted to see everyone. Ren took the chance to grab the prepared gifts from her room and came back down.

“Eri-chan,” she called and squatted down beside her to hand her the sky blue gift bag. “Merry Christmas.”

“What’s… Christmas?” she asked.

“It’s a wonderful time where people exchange gifts and have parties,” Togata explained to the young girl happily. “You also get to eat a lot of yummy food with people you like.”

“Like candied apples?” her eyes twinkled with delight thinking of the one Midoriya made for her.

“All the candied apples!” the tall blond boy strongly declared with wide gestured arms.

“Open it,” Ren encouraged.

Eri’s tiny hands reached in past the white tissue paper and took out a knitted accessory set consisting of a beret, scarf, and mittens in peach pink. Each of the items had a simple apple design stitched into it.

“It’s so pretty!” Ashido pointed out.

“This… is for me?” her small voice quivered out with excitement, with the pink-haired girl nodding with a smile gracing her lips.

“I made it for you.”

Eri wasted no time in putting the beret and scarf on her person, the apples of her small cheeks flourishing a tint of cheery pink.

“It’s so warm!” she beamed out with a full smile and laughed while snuggling into the scarf. “Thank you!”

“Waah, you look so cute!” Asui complimented and patted Eri’s head.

“The color looks so good on you, Eri-chan!” Uraraka happily endorsed.

“You look great!” Togata looked down at the elated girl with a full smile. “Now you won’t be cold when you play outside.”

“And neither will you,” Ren chimed in and handed the tall blond boy a bag.

“You… made something for me?” the muscular boy asked with a dumbfounded expression.

“Of course,” she replied with a tone of obviousness. “You can’t be a proper hero without this around this time of year.”

Surprised by her gesture, he gratefully accepted her present and pulled out a long scarf made in the colors of his hero costume. On one side of the scarf, a yellow ‘1000000’ had been intricately stitched on.

“Whoa! A handmade scarf from a girl!” Kirishima pointed out. “So friggin jealous, dude!”

“Not quite what you’re used to wearing but...” She bashfully commented with a light shrug of her shoulders. “Just a reminder of who you still are no matter what happens.”

Togata was filled with thankfulness as he clutched the scarf close to his chest, his smile widening into a full one.

“I love it.” His usual loud and happy demeanor was toned down to a rare soft and quiet one. “Thank you, Ren.”

She immediately blushed and looked away, taken aback by him not using honorifics again. Surrounding class members even noticed the label was dropped with her.

“I-It’s not a big deal...” she mumbled out and looked to the side, her blush growing more obvious by the second. At a glance, she looked like Midoriya. “I just… had extra time to make it.”

“Senpai,” Ashido called with a tone of suspicion. “You hidin’ something from us?”

“Togata-senpai...” Asui slowly spoke. “Are you and Ren-senpai an item now?”

Ren physically choked on air and saliva upon that question being asked, heaving a loud cough. All Togata did was blankly blink.

“You think we’re a couple?”

“I mean, you let slip of Ren-senpai’s name so casually without the honorific, I just presumed something developed between you two after everything,” the froggy girl explained herself. “And she did say she used to like you.”

“Tsuyu-chan!” she yelped nervously, trying to cover her now fully flushed face.

“It’s nothing like that,” Togata replied with a hearty chuckle. “Ren will always be a good friend. I’ve just found her to be more and more reliable like Tamaki after what’s happened, so I dropped the prefix to show that.”

He turned to Ren with a half curious, half concern gaze with his dark blue eyes at her startled form.

“Unless… it bothers you?”

“I-It’s fine...” she squeaked out and huffed an audible sigh, her blush pretty much permanently stained on her face. “I just need an adjustment period.”

The tug on Togata’s jacket sleeve drew his attention back to Eri.

“What does it mean to like someone?” the small girl asked. “And why are Ren-neesan’s cheeks so red?”

She knew Eri meant it as an innocent question, but at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel extremely called out. Students around her couldn’t help but snort out bouts of laughter.

“When you like someone, it means you’re always happy with them no matter what,” the blond boy simplified. “And Ren’s cheeks are red because she’s so happy from it.”

“Don’t dumb it down like that!” she belted out and groaned.

“Then, I really like Lemillion!” Eri strongly declared with sparkly eyes. “And Deku! And everyone here!”

Leave it up to a young child to diffuse all the tension in the room. Everyone laughed aloud and also declared how much they all liked her too. Wanting to take her new gift for a test drive, Togata and Midoriya took Eri out to the courtyard to play in the snow and show her the ice tree. Ren looked on from inside, smiling to herself. Her inner peace was short lived when Jiro wrapped her arms around her neck in a headlock from behind.

“Ren-Ren, you sneaky little minx,” she playfully cooed out. “Makin’ your senior a heartfelt present like that! Where’s ours huh?!”

“If you asked nicely, I would’ve made it,” Ren coolly replied, not caring about the pressure her junior was putting on her jugular.

“Eh?! Seriously?!” Kaminari belted out from surprise. “Then I want one!” The electric blond strongly declared with his arm shot up into the air like he was answering a question in class.

“Maybe I can make one for your birthdays...” she thought aloud and placed her hand to her chin. “That’s… gonna take a lotta time to plan out.”

“Don’t worry about it, senpai,” Kirishima disregarded. “It’s just Kaminari being desperate for a girl’s attention.”

“Bro! Don’t call me out like that!” his friend argued back. “And I’m not desperate!”

“Says the guy who doesn’t discriminate in hitting on every girl who walks by, despite them having already rejected you,” Jiro teased, now leaning into the crook of Ren’s neck, her arms draped around her shoulder.

The class spent the rest of their free time hanging out and got a head start putting up decorations for the holiday party. On Christmas Day, Sero, Kirishima and the girls helped with the finishing touches to the decorations while Asui, Ren, Sato and Bakugou tended to the food situation in the kitchen.

The rest of the crew helped with moving furniture around and set up equipment for music, games and the like. Jiro, Ren and Kaminari joined together in creating a playlist for it beforehand. Somewhere in the corner, a suspicious Ashido shot a devious grin as she hung the mistletoe at the highest and busiest spot of the common area: the narrow walkway between the common area and dining tables.  

Mission: MidoChaco is a go!

To really get into the festive mood, everyone wore a Santa Claus costume with the ball of the hat customized to reflect their quirks; the R.A.’s was a shooting star to reflect hers. Bakugou being Bakugou, refused to be “lame and dress up like the rest” and wore his usual black long sleeve skull shirt and black pants. Ashido and Kaminari pretty much made it their mission to get the explosive boy to give into peer pressure.

The aroma of various foods lingered in the air with the music playing. Copious amounts of chatter could be heard all around while some took to the makeshift dance floor. The party menu consisted of some hor d'oeuvres, giant platters of pasta, cutlets and other goodies. A baked whole chicken and desserts of bite sized cakes were made by Sato.

Mineta, spotting the mistletoe a mile away, purposely stood underneath it in hopes of catching one of the girls walking pass to kiss him. Iida thankfully put a stop to his plan by clamping his face with his palms, banishing him from the area.

“You aren’t a man, Iida!” the purple gnome shouted out. “Why would you block me from the barrage of kisses I was to get!”

“No one was really gonna do it, Mineta,” Asui pointed out. “And your underhanded tactics were already found out before you realized.”

With the party underway, Seri and Tomoe popped on by to hang out with the contagious festive mood. Everyone greeted the second years energetically.

“God-fucking damnit!” a familiar gruff voice shouted, catching the two girl’s attention. They saw the back profile of Bakugou and Ren facing the TV, playing a fighting game on console.

“Gotta do better than that to beat me, Bakkun,” Ren retorted with a cocky grin. “Eat this!”

Pressing the proper buttons, she unleashed her character’s finishing move on Bakugou’s, winning her the match.

“Fucking hell! One more time!” the explosive blond shouted and pointed at her. His grip on the controller is one squeeze away from cracking the plastic casing.

“So I can beat you again? Bring it,” she openly teased to piss him off even more.

“You should quit while you’re ahead, Bakugou-kun,” Tomoe warned.

The blond boy turned his head to face the voice, his face contorted to full on rage mode.

“The hell you say?” he glowered with his intense vermillion eyes, a vein popping out from his temple.

“Ren-Ren’s very good at fighting games. Your chances of beating her is slim to none,” Seri pointed out. “She’s always held the top three spots at the arcades when we were in junior high.”

“Fuck that shit! I’ll take her down if it’s the last thing I do,” the blond boy shot back and turned his attention back to the screen.

“Kacchan, c’mon,” Kirishima complained. “You’ve been hogging the controller. Let some of us play.”

“Shaddap, shitty hair! I’m staying on until I fuckin’ kill her!”

“Oh ho ho. Them’s fightin’ words, Bakkun.” Ren glowered with mischievous intentions. “Don’t go crying to your squad when I decimate your soul.”

“You got a lotta balls sayin’ that, senpai,” he growled out.

“Uh oh. Here comes Dark Ren,” Tomoe flatly noted within an earshot.

“What’s ‘Dark Ren’?” Midoriya asked.

“You’ll see,” Seri remarked.

A small crowd formed behind Bakugou and Ren when the new match started on screen. The two characters exchanged blows, neither one backing down in the fight. As each character’s HP crawled slower down to zero, the cheers got increasingly louder.

“Get him Kacchan!” Kaminari yelled.

“Take him down, Ren-Ren!” Tomoe shouted.

Just as Ren was about to lose, she let loose a smirk and timed her counter attack at Bakugou, consequently K.O.ing his character and won. She let out a strong laugh.

“I have defeated you,” she bullied with a cocky expression and stood up doing All-Might’s hero pose. “The queen remains undefeated, peasants! Grovel!”

“Don’t go fuckin’ copying All-Might as you’re glowering at us, you damn emo-hair!” Bakugou growled out.

“At least my hair has style, unlike yours, you unkempt porcupine!” she shot back and flipped her locks with the back of her hand.

“Standing right here...” Tomoe off-handedly blurted out dejectedly, feeling the sting of her friend’s words. Seri offered a comforting back pat and reminded her the words aren’t coming from a place of malice.

“The hell you say?! I’ll friggin’ kill you!”

“Ah...” the green haired boy quietly blurted out, eyes hollow when he suddenly had flashbacks of Kacchan from when he used to bully him in middle school. “That’s what you mean, Kubo-senpai.”

With majority of the Bakusquad trying to diffuse the tension, the two called a temporary truce over food, with Bakugou stealing the last of the cutlets from Ren as she reached for it.

“Too slow, emo-hair!” the blond barked out triumphantly and shoved the fried goodie into his mouth. “Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?!”

The pink-haired girl sulked and picked up some pasta and hor d'oeuvres instead to carb-load her sorrows as Bakugou continued to cackle loudly at his win.

“You deserved that,” Tomoe and Seri both said.

“I deserved that,” she muttered out and took a big bite of pasta.

On one side of the room, Bakugou seemed to have given up and temporarily caved in wearing his holiday get up, much to Kaminari and Ashido’s joy. As the food was being consumed, talks of internships starting up again excited all of them.  However, with it being mandatory at this point even for first years, it really showed the sense of urgency the Public Safety Administration had given what happened recently in Deika. Ren chewed on the tip of her spoon, wondering if she’d go back to Kansai for Fat Gum.

Hawks had been increasingly difficult to get in touch with. Before he became the number two hero, he would at least respond to her text messages a few days after. Nowadays, it’s just left on read.

“Why are we still talking about school?!” Mineta shouted angrily, bringing her out of her thoughts.

“Mineta’s got a point,” Sato agreed as he carried in the giant roasted chicken he took out of the oven. “Let’s eat, drink and be merry!”

The front door to the dorm suddenly opened and emerged Aizawa with Eri all dressed up in a cute Santa Claus dress and hat. Everyone was fawning over how adorable she was, even though she was getting all the holidays messed up by giving Uraraka Easter Eggs and throwing Setsubun beans.

Ashido proposed to get started on the holiday group games. Whoever lost the most amount of games will have to do the Pocky Punishment Game. With all the girls, except for Uraraka in on the plan, they strategically mapped out where they’ll take their wins and losses as they knew where the auburn haired girl’s strengths and weaknesses laid.

First up was a no-laughing contest, to which Kaminari won hands down with his signature ‘whey’ face. Next was a game of Twister, to which Mineta was all too eager to play. Having planned this ahead of time, the girls purposely put him with only the group of boys in his heat, subsequently pissing him off. The group up first was Midoriya, Uraraka, Ren and Bakugou. In order for them to have better maneuverability, they removed their Santa coats and wore their usual clothes underneath.

“Why do I have to be in the same group as the damn nerd?!” the blond shouted.

“That’s just how the cookie crumbles, I guess,” Ren casually commented.

“The hell does that even mean?!”

“Language, Bakkun,” she shushed. “A child is present.”

“Okay, let’s get started!” Ashino announced and spun the pointer on the card. “Right foot, yellow!”

The four found their dot and placed the requested limb on top. The pointer spun again to left hand, blue, to which they obeyed.

“This game’s ridiculous,” Bakugou complained through gritted teeth.

“Now, now,” the pink hair soothed.

“Left foot, green!” the pink alien shouted.

And that’s where it got awkward.

Midoriya was straddled and bent over with Uraraka underneath, her right arm in between his legs. Ren was bent backwards with a full view of Midoriya’s posterior while Bakugou was the only one who had moderate personal space, but had a view of Ren’s side profile and Uraraka’s left thigh.

“Deku… don’t you try to touch me, you moron,” the blond growled out while holding his position.

Spectators of the game couldn’t help but burst out laughing while taking a slew of photos on their phone.

“Delete that, you damn extras! I’ll murder all of you!” Bakugou barked out.

“No way man!” Kirishima said between his gasps. “This is friggin’ gold!”

“Lord Explosion Murder in his most natural environment,” Sero tittered out.

While everyone was distracted, Ren’s lips curled up in a devilish way with a cocked eyebrow.

“Wow, Midoriya,” she said aloud. “You have a really nice butt.”

The viridian haired boy blushed profusely and whimpered as his limbs started quivering. The rest of the class wolf-whistled and cheered. Ashido spun for the next step, already catching on with what their resident advisor was going for.

“Right hand, red!”

“Uwah, this is getting hard,” the freckled boy groaned out as he attempted to reach, only to end up having his face hovering over Uraraka’s butt. It didn’t help his situation at all. Not wanting to make her loss look purposeful, the pink-haired girl reached for hers and ended up close to Bakugou’s angry face. Unfortunately for the blond, the cowl to her shirt was hanging loose enough for him to catch a glimpse of her cleavage and bra. His cheeks burned and looked away to the side.

“Right foot, blue!”

Ren tried to slide her appendage to the circle, only to have it cramp up and ended up headbutting Bakugou on his nose bridge. Both went down in the process with groans of pain.

“You moron! What the hell!” he shouted while holding his nose, only to see Ren holding her foot and forehead.

“Charlie Horse,” she hissed out, her face wincing from pain. “Sorry.”

“Ren-senpai and Bakugou are out!” Ashido announced. It was only Midoriya and Uraraka left on the mat. Gingerly standing, he unexpectedly picked up the R.A. bridal style.

“B-Bakkun! What the–”

“Just shut up,” he interrupted. “You can’t walk right?”

“I was gonna crawl, honestly.”

The blond huffed a short laugh, amused by her answer.

“You should relish in this. I don’t just carry anyone in my arms like this,” he boasted. “Consider it an honor.”

“Then I rather you drop me,” she deadpanned and lightly yelped when the blond boy did the moment they got to the couch. “Stupid conch shell.”

“Buzz-hair.”

The match continued on as the remaining two competitors’ positions got more and more awkward. At one point, Midoriya found his lower half hovering over Uraraka’s chest, his face near her navel. Ren watched the two blush fifty shades of tomato and snorted in laughter from the couch. Her leg cramp gradually subsided.

“I think they may be getting dehydrated,” Todoroki pointed out.

“Nah, they’re fine.”

“I think I see steam coming out the top of their heads.”

She huffed a breath through her nose and gestured the dual-hair colored boy to bend down. Ren whispered into his ear as to what the girl’s plans were. When he pulled away, she gestured a shush over her grinning lips and a teasing look in her eyes. After a while longer, Uraraka’s legs gave out and ended up falling on top of Midoriya, her legs straddling his right thigh.

“Wah, sorry, Deku-kun!” she shouted and leaped off, her face a mess of red blotches. “I didn’t mean to do that!”

“I-I-It’s fine, Uraraka-san,” the boy squeaked out, unable to make eye contact and looked down at the Twister mat.

“Hm, shall we call that a draw?” Ashido wondered out loud. “They both fell.”

“But the rules say whoever makes contact with the mat first loses, so that’s Midoriya no?” Shoji pointed out.

“True, but Ochaco slipped first,” Jiro added. “Making Midoriya fall from her actions.”

A small group debated among themselves and decided to rule it as a draw, considering the end goal was that much sweeter. Taking a small break before the next group, the two walked toward the kitchen to get something to drink.

“Oh! Mistletoe!” Hagakure shouted and pointed at the two.

“It’s tradition! Two people under it have to kiss,” Ren stated.

“Whaaatttt?!” they both exclaimed and flushed an impossible glowing red color.

The flustered teenagers stood underneath it awkwardly, their legs shaking out of nervousness. As everyone waited, the pink-haired girl could feel the girls’ impatience whittle down little by little. Their aura was practically screaming “KISS, DAMN IT!”

To keep this moving along, she was going to have to get her hands a little dirty. Sliding off of the couch, Ren strode up with casual purpose in between the two with an air of virility. Before either one could respond, Ren placed her hand on Midoriya’s shoulder and pecked him on the cheek before turning to Uraraka with a sinful curl of her lips.

She leaned into the auburn colored girl’s ear and whispered, “If you don’t act, someone else will steal him away.” She then peck her on her flushed left cheek before walking off.

“Back to your regular scheduled programming,” she shouted as she went to the kitchen to get a drink.

“Ren-senpai...” Ashido gushed out with a blush on her cheeks. “That was so cool!”

“I actually felt my heart beating just from watching that,” Yaoyorozu hovered her hand above her chest. “Our advisor is quite brave.”

The boys could only stare wide-eyed, mouth agape. Sure, they were brave when it came to heroics, but displaying physical affection like that?! They all collectively realized they still have much to learn. Ren came back a short moment later with a glass of water in hand like nothing happened.

“You sure are havin’ fun, Ren-Ren,” Tomoe cooed out with a grin.

“A necessary sacrifice to push along,” she calmly answered and sipped her water.

“My heart actually hurt for a moment,” Seri mock cried and splayed her hand on her chest. “How dare you do that.”

“Aw, c’mon Secchan,” Ren fake comforted her with a playful smirk. “You know you’re the only one for me.”

“Senpai, please take us under your wing to be as manly as you!” Kirishima pleaded.

“This explains so much about Takahiro-senpai’s attitude to the opposite sex,” Mineta noted in seriousness and wiped his oncoming nosebleed away with the back of his hand, his imagination getting away from him yet again.

“I assure you it’s nothing like that, you perverted grape,” Ren answered with a straight face and linked arms with Tomoe and Seri. “But these two got my heart, so boys gotta work extra to win me over,” she gushed out.

“S-S-Senpai,” Midoriya finally managed to find his voice. “Please don’t do that again.”

“Why not?” she casually asked. “It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve kissed.”

“WHAAAATTTTT?!”

“Uh oh. That came out wrong.”

“Phrasing, dearest Ren,” Seri sighed and placed her hand on her forehead.

Almost all the boys ran up to the now extremely flustered freckled boy. Kirishima immediately wrapped his neck in a headlock while Kaminari, Mineta, Iida and Sero interrogated him. Uraraka stood idly by, her face blank from shock. Senpai… kissed Deku?!

“Midoriya, you bastard! How are you getting a leg up on all of us!” the electric blond shouted out and grabbed his arm. “Tell us your secret!”

“Y’always gotta watch out for the quiet ones,” Sero noted. “They’re usually the ‘steal your girl’ types.”

“And here I thought Midoriya was one of the good ones,” Ashido flatly remarked. “How disappointing.”

“You guys got it all wrong!” the boy yelped out. “It’s not like that at all! Senpaiiii!!!!”

“Ren, you should clarify,” Seri solemnly advised. “They may actually kill him.”

“I guess so,” she mumbled. “It was just a peck on the cheek,” she shouted. “It’s nothing serious.”

“It is serious!” the group of pubescent boys shouted. “This guy’s always doin’ extra stuff on his own like we don’t friggin matter!”

“Oh boy, I think I opened a can of worms.”

The testosterone levels of the males calmed down and they were able to get through the rest of Twister, with the finalists being Sato, Iida, Midoriya, Uraraka and Todoroki. It came down to Sato and Iida at the end as the two had the most leg power. Midoriya and Uraraka ended up losing earlier on in the game when their hands accidentally touched and lost their balance. While it looked like Todoroki was going to win, his elbow ended up touching the mat and disqualified himself. With the match going a lot longer than expected, the two decided it was a draw on their own accord.

Next up was leg wrestling, where two people sit across from each other with one person’s knees were wedged in between the other’s. The point was to see if one can break through the other’s legs’ clamping power within 30 seconds.

First up were Bakugou and Kirishima. In the first round, Bakugou managed to get his legs to open about three centimeters from his vice grip thighs; when the tables turned, the redhead successfully opened his legs close to eight centimeters, declaring him the winner.

Next round was between Jiro and Yaoyorozu. Both seem to have been evenly matched in strength, to which the creating quirk user won by a thin margin. After the two girls wobbled off of the chair supporting each other, Ren and Todoroki were up. They were situated for the game, with Ren going first.

The moment the timer started, she put half of her strength into her legs to test the waters while Todoroki looked on with his usual stoic expression. Hissing breaths between her gritted teeth, she had to up the ante if she were to get anywhere with this. Using her full strength now, the hetero-chromatic boy reacted with widened eyes when he felt his legs beginning to shift little by little, her hands gripping the sides of the chair.

“And time!” Ashido called. Ren panted out loud. She threw her head back with sweat forming at the sides of her face while the spectators measured how far she got.

“4.5 centimeters!” the referee announced. “Okay, let’s switch.”

Rubbing both her thighs to relax her muscles, she lifted them off of the floor to shake them out and huffed a few hard breaths from her mouth. Positioning hers over Todoroki’s legs, she never realized how thick and muscular they were compared to his lanky build. She could feel his muscles already attacking hers the moment Ashido said go. It didn’t take long until he managed to fully spread her legs as she fell over the chair from the sudden pulling sensation on her inner thigh muscles.

“Senpai, are you okay?!” the bi-colored haired boy knelt beside her and asked with extreme worry. “Did I hurt you?”

“Just my pride,” she groaned out with her hands between her legs in fetal position.

Even Seri and Tomoe were surprised how quickly Ren went down. Out of everyone in their class, she was the second strongest when it came to leg strength. Just a beat longer, the pink-haired girl slowly got up off of the floor and gingerly made her way back to the couches, only to have Todoroki intercept her in the form of being picked up.

“Okay, seriously?” she complained aloud and threw her hands up. “I’m not some damsel in distress who needs this.”

“You let Bakugou do it to you before,” he muttered out within an earshot.

She looked up to see his lips in a small pout with a tint of pink on his cheeks. Was he… jealous? She knew it was inappropriate to laugh at a time like this, but her reaction failed her in the shape of snickering and tried to cover it up by putting her hand over her mouth.

“What’s so funny?” he blurted out in minor irritation.

“There’s still so much you don’t know about yourself and I find it adorable.”

He set her down on the couch a lot harder than he wanted to.

“I’m gonna pretend you did that on purpose,” she blurted out with a smirk and rubbed her tailbone while he settled beside her in comfortable silence, deep in thought.

With the games tapering off from everyone’s exhaustion, the class decided to relax a bit before exchanging presents for the Secret Santa, completely forgetting about the punishment game. Sero went around taping the presents to the designated person. At the count of three, everyone pulled their tape and up went the presents toward them.

By some sort of miracle to make up for the failed games, Midoriya got Uraraka as his Secret Santa and her in return. The gravity defying girl got a small keychain plush All-Might, whereas the viridian haired boy got a bag of cut mochi. Little Eri received the giant sword Tokoyami put in the pile, much to everyone’s surprise.

Bakugou caught his and pulled out a long black scarf with his signature orange X stitched at one end with a horizontal green stripe across it. There was only one person who could’ve made this. He looked around and saw a familiar rose-gold hair colored girl curiously eyeing an immaculately wrapped box in blue paper with a ribbon decorating it.

That was his present.

Watching her open it with care, she held her gift up to see it was a blind box from a vinyl figure series of dogs. Opening it, Ren tore the shiny foil bag inside and revealed a Pomeranian. Looking at it with curiosity, she held it in her palm to examine it.

“Oh it’s so cute and tiny!” Uraraka beamed.

“It looks like Bakkun,” the pink haired girl blurted out, her expression unchanging.

The whole room went silent for a second before all doubled over from raucous laughter. Bakugou’s temper exploded as his face flushed tomato red, the veins on his temples were strongly protruding out.

“How the hell do I look like that thing!” he yelled out and pointed to it.

“Do we need to point the obvious?” Sero belted out and pointed at the fur style and color. “This is better than when your hair was combed down by Best Jeanist!”

Tomoe and Seri walked up to see the figurine up close and agreed.

“Sorry. Really sorry,” Ren got out between breaths, tears streaming from her eyes. “I love it. I honestly do. But seriously.” Words failed her as her laughter took over again. The explosive blond boy got more irritated by the second.

“What should we name it?” Seri asked. ”Bakuwan?”

“Borkugou,” Tomoe tittered. 

“Eat crap and die!”

For the rest of the night, everyone engaged in conversations and picked off what’s left of the food. Jiro grabbed her acoustic from her room and serenaded everyone with song. Ren participated with the songs she knew, singing harmony. Seri and Tomoe decided to leave after a bit and said good night to everyone. Eri and Aizawa followed suit not too long after.

“Sato’s cakes are the best!” Ren gushed and took a bite into the airy dessert, a childish smile beamed from her lips.

“Is it really that good?” Todoroki asked.

“Wanna try?”

She held her half bitten piece of cake between her thumb and index. The boy leaned in to take a bite. The girls who noticed squealed out loud.

“I-I-Indirect kiss!” Uraraka yelled in a voice two octaves higher than her own. “Senpai, you’re too bold for us!”

“Indirect kiss? What’s that?” she questioned with genuine naivete and blinked.

“It’s basically when your lips have touched something and then someone else touches it with theirs after,” Jiro remarked with a light tint of her cheeks.

“But… it’s food. You don’t kiss food,” the boy logically stated, to which Ren agreed with a nod.

“That’s beside the point!” the girls yelled and waved their arms madly to disregard rationality.

“Haven’t you done stuff like this before, Ren-senpai?!” Hagakure asked.

“With my friends, yeah.”

“I mean with a boy!”

She let out a thoughtful hum before answering, “Not really.”

“How was it you even get a boyfriend then?!” the invisible groaned out and gripped her hair in frustration, if it could be seen.

Ren shrugged. “It just… happened. I guess I went with the flow too much then.”

“Are you sure you two aren’t a couple?!” Ashido interrogated and pointed between Ren and Todoroki. “You’ve been super close with each other.”

The accused two turned and looked at each other with a blank expression and turned back to the pink alien.

“Just friends,” they both replied. The pink skinned growled out in frustration and yanked at her short hair.

“You two are the worst, you know that?”

“I thought that was Mineta,” Ren joked.

“Hey!” the small boy shouted.

“She has a point, ribbit,” Asui agreed.

With the party coming to an end, everyone helped clean up. Not too far from where she was, Ren saw Todoroki, Bakugou and Midoriya talking. Gathering what she could of all of the recyclable items into her hands, she walked past and heard the two-toned hair colored boy extend an invitation to the other two to do their internship with Endeavor. Their eyes lit up in shock and opportunity.

“A-Are you sure, Todoroki-kun?” Midoriya asked.

“I’m sure my father won’t mind,” he calmly replied. “If you’re interested, I can put in a good word.”

“Screw that. I’m not takin’ any hand-me-downs from–”

“Bakkun.”

The blond boy turned his head to the R.A. who called him, flashing an annoyed expression.

“It’s an opportunity,” Ren corrected. “You should take it. Unless you’re happy with being a B-rated hero and treated like a trouble-making punk who’ll get zero exposure for the rest of your life.”

Bakugou gritted his teeth, remembering the recent failtastic interview he did with Todoroki. He scoffed aloud before turning away and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“If you won’t take it, I will,” she firmly stated and crossed her arms. “How ‘bout it, Todo-kun?”

“I thought you’d go back to FatGum’s?” Midoriya assumed with a tone of surprise.

“With Tamaki-senpai and Kiri-kun with him, I’d just be in the way,” she confessed with a crooked grin. “And I rather leave that spot open for someone else who wants that experience.”

“But you helped so much with the boosters and Hassaikai case,” the green haired boy argued.

“That was purely coincidental. Besides, an efficient hero should take in as many experiences as possible in bettering their abilities.”

While it was true she thought she’d be in the way of FatGum, her real reason was to track down Hawks. Seeing how he was with Endeavor on the day of the Nomu fight, Ren was hoping Endeavor could help her without having to rely on her own sources. It was a habit she needed to break now if she wanted to go legit.

“Alright, alright. I hear ya,” Bakugou finally conceded with a grumble. “Get me that damn internship, Todoroki.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Todoroki confirmed and rubbed his chin.

Doing final checks after the last student retired to their room, Ren looked up and saw the mistletoe was still up. Sighing, she grabbed the closest chair to use as a step ladder and even then it was still too high for her to grab. Her thighs were still sore from the game before so jumping wasn’t an option.

“Damn it, Mina-chan...” she hissed out in annoyance.

“Need some help there?”

She quickly turned and saw Todoroki.

“I need your height.”

Ren hopped down from the chair and let the bi-colored haired boy take care of it. She thanked him after he got back down.

“It’s a shame we couldn’t get Mido-kun and Ochaco together,” she chuckled out and rubbed the back of her head. “But I think they were catching on. Mina-chan must be so pissed.”

“So what’s the deal with mistletoe anyway?” he asked and examined the berries up close.

“Two people who stand under kiss for good luck and to ward off evil spirits based on Nordic mythology,” she explained.

He held it over her head. She could only stare at him wide-eyed when his face got closer to hers.

“Todo… kun?”

Ren’s breath hitched in her throat the moment their gaze met, just like when they were walking back to campus last time. Todoroki’s eyes were half-lidded and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. His lips were soft and warm against her now hot skin. Drawing his face back up, his hetero-chromatic eyes seemingly glowed in the twilight.

“Did I… do that right?” he whispered. He was still close enough for her to feel his hot breath fan on her skin. She tried to talk, only to realize she lost her voice when her mouth was still trying to form words. Her heart was pounding against her chest like she ran a marathon.

“I… guess that… counts,” she slowly uttered out in a hushed manner and swallowed hard, remembering what she did to Ochaco and Midoriya earlier in the evening. Was Karma working for or against her here?

“Oh.”

Todoroki’s response almost sounded disappointed. He withdrew from her personal space and stood back up straight, uttering a good night before leaving. Ren let loose a breath from her lips and let her fingertips hover over where he kissed her.

She didn’t mind it, but why did she feel unsatisfied?

[cloudfiveclub]

Think i've reached the point where i've read every cnco fic 1000000 times😂😂😂 can you help this thirsty bitch out and recommend some cnco fics from new and less popular writers? Been trying to find some new blogs but always end up with the ones i already know😒 Love ur writing btw xxx

okay first off, that’s a mood. just proves i invest too much time in cnco and cnco fanfiction in general.

i’ve been seeing a few new writers pop up but the thing is i’m still discovering writers who have been around a while but i have just never heard of, so i’m not sure who’s new and who isn’t? but some i’ve recently discovered and whose stuff i like:

@emsy55 @imnotlaughingbro @ericks-mala-actitud @bighoe @besosdecnco @cnxobbyy @cnc-oh-boi @cnc-oh-my-god

and also @moonlitzabdiel just posted a new smut so yay new thirst

there’s a lot more talented writers out there i’m sure but these are the few that’s come to the top of my head :) anyone who’s looking to get more recognition for their stuff can totally comment down below! we love new writers here

[coolkidstable]

🌠

i already said this in the chat but like, everything in my life? i mean anytime we’re both awake and not working we basically don’t go an hour without talking so IT’S TRUE

1) you

2) can

3) gay

jk jk okay the real list under a READ MORE as promised:

1) taking back sunday. duh. hello. is this even a question. i did know they existed before i knew you but it doesn’t feel like it! adam and john are literally your dads, not even a joke when i say that. it’s just cold hard facts. and you’ve gotten me obsessed with them too because, let’s face it, they’re iconic and every song they’ve ever made is a masterpiece. you also literally know more about them than they do which is so iconic of you. they’re great to meme about too. and i know how much their shows mean to you and it’s been way too long since you’ve had a good one. you’ve also made so many great friends through them and connected with more (me 🌚) bc of them so like.. the power. i really really cannot wait for riot fest and toronto and especially boston!!! 

2) woho! more specifically how you literally know more about it than i know about like, anything in life, and how much it means to you. i love how you approach life with a mindset of taking no shit from anyone, and this really shines when you’re reminding people (including me!) that supporting women at least as much as men is not just Cool and Extra Woke but Important and Yes It’s A Requirement. this applies to men’s hockey too, but you have such a deep understanding of the way the game works and literally just reading one text from you about kacey or danton or whoever making a great play makes me instantly feel like i’m talking to the smartest person i know. 

3) your writing!!!! your fics are always so detailed and watching you work through them feels exactly like watching kacey play defense. and your ideas are always the coolest, especially two of the current ones and you know which ones i mean. reading examples while you were writing it was literally the coolest experience, and obviously it was an elite fic on top of that. and as much as we joke about your tenses, i had a lot of fun betaing!! also just talking about writing in general though, because sharing it is really the most fun part. YES THIS MEANS ESSAYS. i know my responses are usually just dog stickers or “wig” but reading them is like watching an episode of stranger things, ya know? just take in the genius and watch it all unfold 😎

bonus: 

HE COOKIN.GIF

we irritating

being pests in general

the menzingers, camp cope, cayetana, the wonder years, straylight run, having once resented dan soupy campbell for stealing bruins legend gregory campbell’s nickname, crowdsurfing, diy music in general

the fact that we literally live the same lives and share a brain

mean lesbian danton heinen collective

taco bell and (therese voice) mcdo’s

the songs casey, gates, after the party, death wolf, beat up car, tidal wave, flicker fade, my blue heaven, a decade under the influence, i just want to sell out my funeral, bus ticket, south philly, the opener, night shift, the tension and the terror, and killer (palehound)

carlo and bellamy... also danton

the word e-girl

g*rard/b*rt

....and more obviously, k*reinen, n*lazz, matt/anders, t**/g***, carlo/cl*fton, s********, and perhaps most of all, ******/*****

meghan being god herself

being clowns

that lesbian masterdoc

the depths of the internet where all the most iconic br*ins pics can be found

the winter classic peaky blinders outfits for some reason? it’s probably the poster jokes 

new york, chicago, philly, very lowkey texas 

on that note: philly cheesesteaks but especially philly tacos

the c*bs

br*zzo

a lesson in bjorkisms which is funny bc IT’S MY OWN FIC AND I WROTE IT BEFORE I KNEW YOU

.............br*ck/p*tey

did you know that even with seatbelts 70% of people die in car crashes just thought that was interesting

you’re like 1000000 times more perceptive than literally anyone else i’ve ever met, which is to say you read people really well (both before and after getting to know them) and like i’m sure you know more about me than i do and it’s really cool?? idk how you do that but wig. this also applies to the br*ins

being an expert on travel (also like... traveling for shows in general + buses)

i could literally still come up with more but like..... IT’S 2:30 AM I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW

so to end: being one of the best possible friends i could ever ask for and i’m really really grateful that i get to know you 💗

[my-nameless-bliss]

i enjoyed your rant about malec first time fics because i totally agree. realistically, alec would definitely come in his pants and i wish fic writers would embrace our viewpoint. ive exited so many fics because they write it as an unspoken agreement that magnus is going to penetrate alec

Hey, I’m glad to hear someone appreciates my tangents! I also find it particularly troubling when fics don’t include any sort of communication between the characters about what they want to do. I understand that it probably feels really clear to the person writing the fic, but I think a lot of writers get blinded by their own plans and perceptions, and forget to specifically discuss desires and intentions that the audience doesn’t automatically *know* because they aren’t in the writer’s brain. It’s another one of those situations where I don’t know if the author just has really specific preferences for what they want to write, or if they’re trapped in that widespread societal lie that there’s only one ‘type’ of sex, so any sex story has to include it by default. It’s alright if you want to write about a character having anal penetrative sex for their first experience, but damn, you at least need to have them say that they *want* to do that!

There’s so much misinformation and stereotyping involved in fanfic sex that’s really troubling. I know fic in general is a great way for people to learn about/explore different sexual experiences, but there’s so much unhealthy bullshit out there that it also makes me *very* nervous that there are people who consequently think that’s how sex is supposed to work. Obviously there are always exceptions, and I’ve read some truly *amazing* fic about sex and sexuality, but there are some widespread trends that are downright scary. Assuming sex = penetration, inexperienced characters having penetrative sex without any acknowledgement of other options, other options being shown as either ‘inferior’ or a form of foreplay automatically leading to penetration anyway, inexperienced characters responding to sex in unrealistically experienced ways (a virgin teenage boy does NOT have stamina and there’s nothing wrong with that, my dudes), and a general, widespread, terrifying lack of communication.

I understand that not every fic needs to be a shining example of the most perfect, realistic, healthy way to have sex. Not every fic is a how-to guide, and not every author is interested in that type of story. But there is a distinct difference between a story that is *intentionally* having the characters make sexual mistakes, and a story that’s unrealistic or unhealthy because the author doesn’t know any better - or worse, thinks it’s sexy. There’s a difference between a character deciding that they want to try penetrative sex even though they’re inexperienced, and a character (and subsequently an author and/or a reader) automatically having penetrative sex because they don’t think there are any other options. Society is already bad enough about delegitimizing non-penetrative sex, mocking virgins for their inexperience, forcing people to go from 0 to 1000000 on their first time, and promoting unhealthy sexual behaviors because it’s ‘hotter’ that way. We don’t need that attitude to permeate fanfic communities too. We can do better than that.