#every few months i discover/rediscover a brush then use it for every piece until i get tired of it. then the cycle repeats

[m1dnitefloat]

tried making something with this one brush i used to use a lot. woona

[nosunwithoutshadow]

finally posting for day 1 of darklina week! (I have no concept of time)

Rating: M Chapters: 1/1 Words: 2k Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, Fluff and Angst, Character Study, Loneliness, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feels

Summary: It’s the worst kind of cliche, but Aleksander doesn’t realize what he’s missing until it’s gone.

also on ao3

Aleksander misses it. The light. 

He didn’t realize it at first, in those lost few months after he tore the world apart to protect his people. Time stretched oddly then, as he adjusted to his new reality. He felt off balance, constantly teetering on the edge of falling into the abyss he created. The merzost coiled in his soul, making a home in his bones, craving more with each breath. He’d known the magic required a sacrifice before he stepped in front of the dead king’s army, accepted it, but a martyr never knows what they will have to give up to their cause before it’s ripped from them. 

(cont. under the cut)

He only discovers what’s missing later. After emerging from the other side of the void into a new world, one he has shaped, will continue to shape. He gathers what self possession he has left and returns to the capital, presenting himself as a tame housecat for the throne to use at their pleasure, repentant for the misdeeds of his family and content to hunt mice for the reward of a warm hearth and occasional pat. He blunts his fangs, hides his claws, and bats at toys tossed his way for the crown’s amusement, a domesticated predator biding his time. He returns to the tatters of the sanctuary he had begun to build and teaches every Grisha he can save how to sharpen their own claws so when the world comes for them, as it inevitably will, they will be ready. 

And when he has time to think again, when the urge to plunge the entire palace into a darkness they cannot escape has lessened enough that his bones don’t ache with the need, he stands in the courtyard of the Little Palace and breathes. He hasn’t lived without burdens since the day in his long-ago childhood when he realized that he and everyone like him would never be safe. It’s different now though, rather than weighing on him, the darkness drags him down, anchoring him to the earth like it would swallow him at any moment. And when he spreads his arms, exhaling and letting his eyes slip closed for the briefest moment, he feels…

Nothing. 

The days in Ravka are rarely truly warm, but dressed in all black, he’s used to the sun slanting down and soaking into his kefta. He sees the sun overhead, the near cloudless sky, feels a cool breeze rustle the fur at his cuffs, but the warmth he expects to feel doesn’t reach his skin. It’s as if he’s no longer quite part of this world, truly the abomination they call him, shunned even by the sun’s light. 

The small part of him that’s still human wants to strip off his layers in the lost hope that if he can only bare himself to the sun, it’ll be different. As if there’s any way he could ever give enough of himself to buy back what he’s sacrificed. He tilts his face up to the sky and feels nothing but the chill of the afternoon against his cheeks. 

His heart, that traitorous organ, hesitates before resuming its regular beat. He draws a deep breath, collects himself, and continues on his walk. He’d hardly been unaware that there would be a cost to his actions. Out of all the possible consequences, this is far from something that can’t be borne. He will find other ways to keep warm. 

Years pass, nearly too many to count, and yet he numbers every one. The time is counted in the lives he could not save, the indignities thrust upon his Grisha he cannot protect them from. The walls of the Little Palace grow higher, blocking the outside world and its taunting sun. Its light only serves to remind him of what he still can’t do: he can’t control the fold, can’t use it as the weapon he needs to protect his people, can’t stop them from being slaughtered beyond his limited reach, can’t promise them the true security they deserve.

He wears his layers like armor and tries to forget the missing pieces of his soul. He keeps the fireplaces of the Little Palace well stocked to ward off the cold. He nearly forgets what it feels like to have sunlight play across his skin, warming him even through winter’s chill.

But then.

And then.

Oh.

He’s spent centuries planning, but he could never have planned for Alina. Even less for what she would do to him. He touches her, and walls built over hundreds of years fracture, their foundations no longer solid. He sees her power, and he remembers dreams he no longer has any right to. He feels her warmth, and he finds he might give up what’s left of his soul to stay close enough for her heat to burn. 

It’s another small sacrifice to let go of her after that first touch, but he comforts himself with the knowledge that she won’t go far. He’s found her now, and the blinding potential of what that means threatens every ounce of his hard-won restraint. He rediscovers parts of himself he thought long-dead, pushing through dirt and cobwebs like a dormant seed, reaching out towards her sun. 

He will keep her close, there’s no question of that. Losing part of himself was torture enough the first time; he doesn’t know how he could bear it again. He’s endured so much, but not this. And she’s so much more than his scattered missing pieces. She’s life to his emptiness, the rushing river to his steady mountain, the celestial light to his earth-bound darkness. 

If he’d known just how much she was, he’s not sure he would have wanted her, the him before he met her. No blessing as potent as her comes without danger. And she is dangerous, all fire and fury, telling him “no” and crashing headlong into centuries worth of careful plans. Even so, he’s no fool to cast aside such a treasure, if he even could. He’ll hide her in his fortress, its defenses built for this day, and hone her into the weapon she was meant to be. 

It has to be said, his plans usually proceed much more smoothly. 

People are the fatal flaw to any plan, Aleksander knows, and that has never been more true than with Alina. Every time he thinks he’s learned to understand her, she surprises him again. He wants to hate her for that, at first. Even then, he can’t bring himself to, not really. His only consolation is those moments when he’s certain that she feels it too. That he’s not alone in this maddening need. She fills the empty spaces inside of him to overflowing, and even then, it’s still not enough. He’s never thought himself greedy, merely wanting what he’s earned, but for her, he might be. 

Even when their goals finally align, when at last she accepts him as her ally rather than her enemy, it’s still barely enough. It’s consuming, this need, more dangerous than merzost and infinitely more seductive. He can almost forget the hunger clawing at his soul when he’s with her, the warmth of her bathing his skin, sinking deep. She’s so powerful it’s blinding, and yet so unbearably human. A mess of contradictions, his Alina, and he wants to take the time to explore all of them. 

In the early days they don’t have much time for exploration, as one age gives way to another. The first time they bed each other is fast and desperate, fueled by all the times they’ve been denied before. It can’t even properly be called bedding, since they don’t make it farther than the nearest table. They manage to fall into bed together by the third time around, and the sense of completion as he slides into her, their eyes locked on each other, is enough to make all the centuries it took to get there worth it. Anger still simmers between them, and he can’t be certain that she won’t try to kill him before morning, but for this, he might let her. 

In the aftermath, he foolishly thinks that this must be the pinnacle. He holds her to him, reveling in the heat of her body and how perfectly it fits against his. Her light calls to his shadows, even lying quietly together like this, their bodies and spirits tangling into a single whole. 

He doesn’t have the frame of reference then to imagine how anything could be better, but then time stretches before them, and the walls between them slowly crumble. They rebuild and their lives mesh into one another, weaving around each other until they become inseparable. She reminds him of things he’d left behind, and he shows her what could lie ahead. He finds his shadows reaching out to her without realizing, what should be an unforgivable loss of control, but he can’t deny them their other half. He doesn't ask if she feels it too, conditioned by centuries to avoid any hint of weakness.

And he knows that there's no way he can complete her the way she fills the ache in his soul. It's an emptiness that's only grown over those same centuries, widened and deepened into a chasm he could never admit existed. She's his match in every way, but she's only lived a mere couple of decades. He can barely remember being that young, that long ago time when he knew so little about what was to come, what real loneliness meant. 

He clutches her to him at night, without meaning to, his body reacting to his mind’s unspoken fear that she may yet disappear. She lets him, sometimes tucking her body into the contours of his, other times turning in his hold to wrap her arms around him in return. 

They’re laying like this one night, her head against his chest, his nose brushing her hair, both sated and drifting on the edge of sleep. Aleksander idly considers his tasks for the next day, while his sun summoner traces patterns of light over his skin. She draws back, and he relaxes his hold enough to look down at her. Her thoughts are heavier than he expected, some inner struggle creasing her brow. He doesn’t expect the question that follows.

"Did you feel it, before me?" She hesitates, as if searching for the right word. "The… emptiness?"

And he remembers that he didn’t feel that much older than her when he'd opened the Fold, tearing apart the very fabric of the world out of his grief and desperation and fear of losing the people he had left. She may not be able to match the age-worn depth of his feelings, but he shouldn't underestimate the depth of them. The young feel everything so much more fiercely, he remembers. 

His mother had tried to tell him, back then, that what he felt would fade. He'd known she was wrong then, but he knows it with earned certainty now. Age may have dulled the edges of that grief, but to lose it would be to lose a part of himself. Time has given him perspective for those emotions as it held onto their all-consuming breadth. 

One forgot the passion of youth at their own peril. He'd made that mistake with Alina already. So many years, and still so much to learn. 

“Yes,” he answers. It costs him a small sliver of his pride, but the price is well worth it. In his arms, Alina relaxes, losing a small thread of tension he hadn’t realized she held. “I thought it was my burden to bear,” he continues. “I never thought we could have this.”

Her lips curve in the slightest smile. “I didn’t know what I was missing,” she admits. “Until I found you, I thought that’s how it was.”

He tightens his arms around her, pulling her up for a kiss. He takes his time, exploring the lips he’s come to know so well, reminding them both of what they’ve found together. 

“It might’ve been,” he says as they break apart. “But in a world where we met, I could never have stayed apart from you.”

She responds with a blush and a contented sigh as her lips return to his. They lay there together in their bed, passing kisses back and forth for nothing more than the pleasure of sharing them. The night deepens and, eventually, sleep catches up to them.

Alina relaxes in his arms, eyes fluttering closed. His shadows slip across the room and extinguish the last lamp. Comfortable darkness settles over the room while in the bed, Alina wraps Aleksander in her light.

[haydees-amara-blog]

Hecate Floros X Haydees Amara The devils at your front door ____________________________________ ‘They’re coming for you.’ The taunt ringing in her ears. Of course, they Gods were, look at what she had done. The first mortal turned Goddess for starts and the killing. Oh no, not just any killing. King Hades himself. She killed a /GOD/. Something no one ever saw coming. Though, deep within she felt guilt. Hades had been the only person to ever take her in. The only one to ever show her any type of kindness, and once the moment had been left open she went in for the kill- but! She was back into a corner and his death was her /only/ shot a true freedom. So she took it. Anyone would. Now they were all coming for her, they wanted her head. Amara wasn’t naive, they hated her from the start and she had given each and every one of them a reason to attack. Did they think she would just wait around and allow them to take the first shot? Never. After months of digging Cerberus made good on his word, giving the Goddess just what he promised- the home that the witch was hiding in. A deep breath filled the young one’s chest her hand frozen in the air. Her brows pulled together tightly, allowing her hand to fall at her side once more. She was a /Queen/. Knocking wasn’t something Haydees did. She was powerful. She was a God. It was time to carry herself as one. Without another thought Haydees pushed the door of the small home open, walking inside. “Hecate darling, you have something I need. Come out of hiding, we all miss you so.” She purred out into the open air, hues darting around the small space taking note on every little piece. ___________________________________ Hecate’s Reply:    Hecate had been hidden in her isolation for years now, after leaving her coven she felt no need to be in the spot light, like the other God's craved. She just wanted to read her books, and do her magic in peace. When Hecate lost any memories of how to create the thing she had dedicated her whole life to, the way to kill Gods and Goddess she felt like her whole life had been wasted, and Hecate intended to stay in her cabin in the woods for as long as she felt fit which very well could mean forever. But, even in Hecate's isolation she had heard about what the once mortal, now turned Goddess had accomplished, Hecate of course knew the woman must had been inspired by her own work on creating the way to kill the gods which made Hecate almost feel like a proud mother, from a distant, when she heard Haydee's had succeeded and taken out Hades herself. Lets be honest, Hecate had never been a big fan of Hades to being with. The dark haired woman was writing in one of her journals, working on a list of ingredients she needed for her next potion when the young Goddess so rudely barged in. It was no surprise the red haired Goddess was here, she would obviously need protection form the other Gods and Goddess who were now out to get her. Hecate set down her journal before looking at the young Goddess. "Just because your a Goddess now doesn't mean you can't use manors." Hecate made a small clicking noise with her tongue, keeping her eyes locked on Haydees. "Mhm, from what I've heard you may want to take a page out of my book and find your own hiding spot. One, two, the Gods are coming for you." Hecate smirked before letting out a small chuckle, as she waved her hand, using her magic to make a red colored velvet chair appear behind Haydees, so she would be sat right across from the raven haired Goddess.. "Have a seat." _________________________________ Haydees’ Reply: Hues looked around the room taking note of every book on the shelves or floor, that was until Hecate’s taunted reached her heard, matching the one within her own thoughts. Haydees’ head snapped the older god’s way, eyes like daggers. “You say those words as if I fear them, witch, I have no fear for what is coming for me.” Amara’s look lingered for a moment as if to give the other a warning to watch her words, slowly she looked away ignoring the request to seat as she started to move around the room. “Anyways, that is none of your business. I stated at the start, you have something I want. So I am here to take it.” Her famous wicked grin started to pull at her crimson colored lips. As the young goddess spoke her tiny hand reached up brushing each book she passed until she found one and pulled it off the shelve. Flipping through the old pages she went on, “Of course, I’d be willing to make a deal for it.” Deals, Haydees’ favorite things, Why? Because she always came out on top. “But, if you put up a fight, I have no issue taking it by force.” ______________________________________ Hecate’s Reply: Hecate watched as the young Goddess walked around her living room, running her finger over her books and it made Hecate cringe slightly. She hated when people freely touched her things. She looked up at Haydees. Looking into her eyes, not scared of a challenge. Haydees might be fresh and new, and think that she all that but Hecate had been around the block quite a few times and wasn't scared of a challenge. Hecate sighed looking into his eyes as he looked around the room. Nibbling her lip softly. Playing the sweet, Goddess role for the time being since Haydees was being the hard ass. "Oh, sweetie. I'd be very pleased with making a deal but i'm sorry I have nothing to to give you." She said with a small chuckle. Looking into her eyes. "One of the other high and mighty Goddess came, she took everything from me. I'd been working on the a way to kill the gods for years and she took every single recollection, any clue to how to do it. It's all gone." Hecates face darkened as she thought about her coven, and how she had lost it all. Hence, why she was alone in a cabin in the woods. She wanted nothing to do with any of the mess the other gods and goddess were making. "I guess you can leave now. I mean, feel free to look through some of my books of shadows, I really don't have any recollection of the spell, Hecate said simply. "If you'd still like to fight, I'm not scared of you." She said with a small chuckle. 

___________________________________________

Haydees’ Reply:

The book laid open in the young goddess’ hands as thin brows pulled together tightly. Hecate claimed she had nothing, did she think Amara the fool? Surely so. The witch goddess locked herself safely in the middle of nowhere, for what? Nothing? Amara didn’t believe this to be true, she was hiding to keep her secrets safe. Even still, Hecate was trying to keep them safe, the young goddess could feel it. A flicker of irritation as Haydees slammed the dusty book closed, the sudden sound echoing around in the small space; emerald hues locking harshly on the older woman’s face as they had before. “Do you think I would believe such lies? I know for a fact you /do/ have what I need. After all, without knowledge, you’ve given me aid once before. I want the same power. I can tear each god down bit by bit on my own, but, I wish to kill them. You of all people should want the same. I want the spell, Hecate.” She meant those words, she would have this power even if she must take them from the woman, it wasn’t unlike Amara to attack to reach her end goal.  _____________________________________________ Hecate’s Reply: "Don't you think, Fiery Goddess that if I still had the spell I would be killing the damned deities myself?" The dark haired, elder Goddess let out a small chuckle as she watched Haydees get so upset. A temper on this one, It would lead to her downfall just like the God she had taken out herself, Hades. "I'm hidden here in my small cabin in the woods to try and find any recellection of the spell in my head...Or in my papers...or anywhere! I gave up everything to re discover the spell I have worked my whole life on!" Hecate's voice had grown stern, Like thunder in the rain storm, calm collected and then bang. The moment the storm picks up and the thunder turns to harsh bangs. Hecate sat up looking into Haydees green eyes. "Don't be stupid and make me an enemy. We might be able to re discover the spell together. With your determination...my intellect with magic. I discovered it once and with your aid maybe I can do it again." Hecate voice was still stern but the anger had left. "I know you like your deals. Why don't we make one, fiery goddess?" ________________________________

Haydees’ Reply: 

Emerald orbs narrowed into slits as the older woman spoke, her word causing Haydees' blood to boil, the book slipping from her hold and slamming to the ground. "You /lost/ the spell. The /one/ useful thing you've made in your existences you let it slip through your hold." Haydees' words becoming sharp, no longer soft and carefree as she moved closer to the woman. "Hecate, /I/ am not the one you want as an enemy, and you are just that if you do not have what I need." A deep breath as the young woman tried to settle her shaking fist, now was the time to think smart- not to lose her cool. "How close are you to finding this work? Or was this a wasted trip." Her tone still tight, but a smile did pass over her ruby lips, even though her jaw was clearly still clinched. ______________________________________ Hecate’s Reply: Hecate noticed the sudden change in the Goddess eyes, one day she would learn patients might do her wonders. The jet black haired Goddess smirk grew as her own eyes locked on Amara's compelling green orbs, internally Hecate was growing angrier at the way the Goddess spoke to her. "It's not my fault Hestia erased every memory ever shard every piece of paper, every contact I had to the rediscover the spell!" Hecate snapped at the Goddess as she rose from her seat before s long sigh escaped there her parted lips. "I may not like you but I do not wish to make you an enemy. We have a common goal. To destroy the Gods. If we only teamed up.." Hecate licked her lips, in thought after the words escaped her lips. "i don't trust you as far as I can throw you, But you're strong, Even with your temper and if we rediscovered the potion...No one can stop us and when its just you and I left standing." Hecate smirked looking at the goddess. "May the best Goddess rule. But until then...We might as well take out the other pieces of the game." Hecate kept her eyes on Haydees as she sat back down in her throne seat. Her familiar Alice coming and laying on her lap. "What do you say, Hot head?" ____________________________

Haydees’ Reply: Not her fault? Tch, if anyone was to blame it would be Hecate. She allowed another to come in a /take/ her spells from her. Hecate was a powerful being, and she had the deadest weapon of all. If Haydees was being honest with herself she feared the Witch Goddess for that reason alone. Rather, she had feared her, now? Well, now she was nothing then a joke in Haydees’ eyes. But, the fact still was the spell was needed… Helping Hecate would be the wisest choice. The young redhead kept her words to herself for a long moment, this time thinking before she spoke. Her famous wicked grin laying on her lips now, “Truly is a pity /you/ out of all the deities need help, such power had followed you. It must sting to know you are nothing, a joke to so many now. What truly shows your weakness is turning to ask me for help.” Standing up straight once again, never removing her eyes from the older woman’s face, “But, deals are most certainly my specialty because I will not be helping you without making sure I have what is mine.” Haydees raised a brow, “I will have the potion, this is what I want out of this. Not just one- or two, I want the spell itself. If you can agree to this I will help you. You’ll have my word, and I do not break my word.” A laugh followed, more like an afterthought, “And Hecate, you truly think you stand a chance facing me. As stated, we all already know how weak you are. Don’t be foolish, /that/ will get you killed before the battle even starts.” __________________________________ Hecate’s Reply: Hecate eyes glowed with anger at the red hair as she spoke about her like some kind of joke, oh how the new goddess of the underworld was a fool. This would be the one and only time Hecate worked with the Goddess, Truthfully, there was more too it than needing Haydees help, Hecate was more than capible of doing this on her own, it would just take time, and time wasn't exactly a luxury she had, Zeus was quick and as soon as he knew that she was working on the potion again things would get ugly, but there was even more to it and the Goddess wouldn't figure that out until it was to late to stop her. Hecate had already had a deal with a certain mortal and she needed haydees to fulfill her side of the bargain. She tsked her tongue softly. "One day Haydees you will come to me, asking for help and you will get nothing and we will see just how fast you fall. This, is the only time we will ever be on the same side." Hecate looked into the red haired goddess eyes. "Then a deal we shall make, you help me with this potion you will get the recipe, You and I shall be the only two who hold it and after we are finished, all is fair in love and war." Hecates lips grew into a small smirk. "So, do we have a deal than?" Hecate slowly stuck out her hand, her long nails black and filed to a point as she waited for Haydees to accept. _____________________________________ Haydees’ Reply:  Haydees hues narrowed at the woman's words, it struck a chord with the young deity. She had needed help, many times, years ago and no one stood by her side. Hecate had the nerve. While she sat in hiding Amara was face dealing with the others and their harsh ways, thus one day breaking Amara and bring Haydees to life. And Haydees didn't need a single person's help. But she held those words to herself. "That is a deal I can agree to." The young redhead purred, taking the woman's hand into her hold as her wicked grin pulled at her lips once again. One single shake and Haydees' hand fell to her side as she went on, "I'll be sure to send a dear friend of mine over in my place as soon as I speak with them. I do look forward to working with you, Hecate." ____________________________ Hecate’s Reply:  Hecate was aware of the anger many of the detities had towards her for her choice of isolation, but it wasn't her fault she was intelligent and when the war started to hit she decided to leave before she got hurt but in many of the other gods and goddess eyes it hadn't been a move of intellgince but one of weakness. "Oh, I am ever so glad hot head." She said with a small smirk on her on lips as they shook hands before Hecate let go, her hand falling back to her side. "I look forward to working with you as well. We will be a team that...surprises the others." Hecate said with a small chuckle. "Perfect, I can't wait to meet the young lad." But, Hecate had already meet the lad and the two had a deal or there own that involved the firey goddess. Everything was about to get much, much more interesting as time went on. _____________________________

-----Closed------

[such-a-common-girl]

“Feelings” Rick Grimes x Reader

Words: 2,285

Rick Grimes x Reader

Summary: You grew up with Rick as a child, and are in his group now during the apocalypse. Once you settle in Alexandria, feelings for him arise.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, drunkenness, unprotected sex 

                                                             -

Going from fending for yourselves, struggling for survival, to living in Alexandria was a hard change for you. Sure, it was nice- you were experiencing things you thought you would never have again. Running water, electricity, video games for god’s sake. But to you, it didn’t seem real. This little world everyone was living in seemed fake, like it shouldn’t exist while the world was the way it was. But after a few months, you started to adjust and feel comfortable.

One things that came with comfortability and stability was feelings arising back up that you didn’t know you could feel again. Love. Specifically, love for one certain person.

Rick. The seemingly off-limits leader who had saved your ass more times than you can count.

You had grown up with Rick. Your parents were best friends, causing you two to be together more often than the two of you sometimes wanted. In elementary school, your moms had discovered that you two would be in the same class for second grade. They were so thrilled, but you were unfortunately not. You still thought that boys had cooties at that point. Rick would try to talk to you in class, but you ignored him the whole time, making your mom yell at you for ���making him cry.”

In junior high, you two went to different schools, but still saw each other frequently. You didn’t consider yourselves friends, but you were friendly enough. If you’d be over at the Grimes’ house or vice versa, you’d hang out together.

High school was when your friendship really started to bloom. You two had several classes together as your little town only had one high school, and you didn’t have many friends. You were eating by yourself one day at lunch when he took a seat next to you, making all of his friends (including Shane) and girlfriend complain that he wasn’t with them.

“Forget them.” He had smiled at you. Ever since that moment freshman year, you two were the best of friends. You hung out almost every day, and at one point you liked him but never said anything in fear of destroying your friendship.

Once you two were in college, the friendship faded. You had wanted to get out Georgia, explore a different state for college, but he wanted to stay there. You tried at first to keep in touch but by the time had graduated university, you two hadn’t talked in almost a year. When you came home, he was married to Lori already and you didn’t really make an effort to see each other. You weren’t jealous- Lori seemed like a good woman, and you had lost all feelings for him at that point.

Rick and you didn’t see each other again until he showed up at the camp outside Atlanta that day years ago. You had been in their group, and when he saw you, he didn’t say anything. He treated you like he didn’t know you. It hurt, but you didn’t let it affect you for too long. He had a wife and kid to think about, plus being the leader of our group. That was a lot of responsibility.

At the Alexandria welcoming party, you looked good. You know you did, and you enjoyed that. You had spent so long looking dirty and gross. Being in a new dress (new to you, at least), with your makeup and hair done, you felt like your old self. You felt beautiful.

When Rick saw you that night, he couldn’t stop smiling at you.

“Something funny?” You had walked over to him, sipping on your champagne.

“Nah,” He shook his head. “Just feels like the old days, that’s all.”

Now that your group was settled and things had cooled off, you started to spend more time with Rick. He would take you on runs with him, have you over to help with Judith, or just to eat dinner with them. You guys didn’t talk about your past much, but you knew that wasn’t personal. Nobody liked to reminisce about what they had. It makes this life too depressing.

But spending all that time with Rick was getting to you. When you would see him, butterflies would arise in your stomach. He was a beautiful man alright, but a part of you felt like you were stupid for thinking of him that way. Not only was he the leader, the most powerful man of your group- which put this unattainable stigma around him- but he was also your friend. If he had any type of feelings towards you, you thought that by now he would have let you know. But he never put out any type of clue, so you kept your recently rediscovered feelings for him to yourself.

“Can I come over after dinner? I gotta talk to you about the run I’m sending you and Daryl on tomorrow.” Rick had approached you as you were keeping patrol of the walls.

“Sure.”

“You should put some sunscreen on. It’s hot out here.” He frowned, looking at you in your eyes.

“I think I’ll be ok.” You laughed.

“You’ll get burnt and then complain.”

“Rick, I’ve learned to keep my complaints to myself. I’m not sixteen anymore. Besides, the sun will be down before too long. Thank you for the suggestion, though.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, but shut his mouth and walked away. You couldn’t help but watch him as he walked away. He’s wearing that one white shirt that you love on him so much, and dark jeans. He still looks just as good as he used to, maybe better; He seemed to only get more attractive the older he got.

“You’re starin’ at Rick like he’s a piece of cake.” Maggie appeared out, using her hand to wipe sweat off her forehead.

“I was not.” You scoffed.

“Whatever you say.” Maggie always seemed to know everything. This comes at the price of being what you would consider her best friend, so you don’t mind. You haven’t told her about your feelings for Rick, but you know she knows. “I’m just here to relieve you of your patrol duties. Nightshift and all.”

“Awesome, thank ‘ya. Wear some sunscreen.” You teased. She looked at you confused, not getting the joke. You laughed and walked away, heading to your house.

You hop in the shower, washing off all the sweat that was sticking to your skin. As cliché as this sounds, showering was one of the things you missed most. The warm water running down your back as you clean yourself off- it’s relaxing to you.

You turn off the shower and put on more comfortable clothing, which consisted of pajama shorts and a tank top. It was too hot to wear much else.

Just as you were about to start brushing out your hair, you hear a knock on your door. You shuffle out of the bathroom and see Rick standing outside, hand on his hip. This his usual stance but it makes you laugh every time you see it.

“Hey stranger.” You open the door. “I thought you were coming after dinner?”

“I had free time now.” He explained. You opened the door wider to let him in. Unbeknownst to you, when he saw you in that tight tank top and short, with your wet hair cascading down your shoulders, his eyes about popped out his head.

“I was about to start cooking, actually, if you want to just eat here.” You offer, him following you into the kitchen.

“Alright.”

“Pasta ok?” You asked, reaching to grab the spaghetti from the cabinet.

“Sounds fine. So, tomorrow, Daryl was going to go check out this mall. I was gonna go with him but I’ve got stuff to do. Asked if you wanted to go, I said you would probably want to.”

“A mall?” You got excited. “An actual mall?”

“Yeah, Y/N, a mall.” He smiled- what a beautiful sight. “It’s pretty overrun, but you two can handle it.”

“I haven’t been to a mall since college. I wonder if any of the clothing stores still have things in them.” Rick hasn’t seen you this excited in a long time, and it makes him happy to see you this way.

-

“Damn, this is good food.” Rick groaned as he ate another bite of the spaghetti.

“Glad you like it.” You smile. You two were sitting on the couch and watching a film you’d never heard of, but you weren’t really paying attention. You don’t know if it was from the amount of alcohol that you two were consuming with dinner, or just his looks, but you couldn’t stop staring.

“It tastes just like the food your mom used to make, you know.”

“She was a good cook.” You take a drink of the whiskey. You weren’t drunk, but man you were feeling starting to feel the effects of it.

“’Ya know, I’ve always wanted to ask you this. Why did you leave for college?” He stares at you.

“I was tired of our town, tired of seeing the same people every day.” You shrug. His face psychically drops.

“I didn’t mean you, I could never get tired of seeing you.” You explain quickly.

“I just…” He starts to say, but stops. You look at him funny, waiting for him to finish, but he gets up and puts his plate into the sink. He sits back down and pretends to be suddenly interested in the movie.

“Rick.”

“Hm?”

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.” He sighs. “There’s just a lot of unresolved feelings at the moment.”

“What do you mean?” Your heart begins to race.

“Did you know that I was in love with you in high school? Shit, Y/N, even before that. You are so beautiful. And then you just left. Do you know how much that hurt me?” His words slurred slightly, indicating that maybe he had more to drink than you thought. Still, your heart starts beating even faster, face flushing.

“No, I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, well I did. Then you just stopped talking to me, too. You cut me off like I was nobody. When I saw you, when you moved back to town after college, it psychically hurt me to see you. Did you know that, either?”

Your heart starts to break. You didn’t know any of this.

“Rick, I loved you too. I’m sorry I left for college, but I had to get out of there for my own good. I’m sorry we lost contact but that was a two way street, Rick, don’t act like it wasn’t. You didn’t try and call either.” You were getting angry. “You know what? You hurt me, too. I cried like a baby when I thought you had died, when Shane had told me that you didn’t make it out of the hospital. And then suddenly you were back again, and you acted like I didn’t exist. You barely acknowledged me. So don’t sit here and act like I’m the one who did everything wrong!”

Suddenly, Rick’s lips were pressed against yours. It took you a minute to kiss back, but once you did, it was amazing. His lips meshed perfectly with yours, and his tongue explored your mouth. He tasted like whiskey.

He brought his arms to your thighs, lifting you up onto his lap, not breaking the kiss. You put your hands under his shirt, lifting it up off his body. He lifts you off of him to take off your shorts and your tank top.

“That outfit was driving me crazy. Your ass looks so good in those shorts.” He had a prominent bulge in his jeans. You reach over to unzip his jeans, sliding them and his boxers down onto the floor and taking him into your mouth. You got to admit, he was a pretty good size.

He let out a moan as you continued to work on him, throwing his head back in pleasure. He suddenly stops you and pulls you back onto him, sliding his fingers to your lower region and rubbing your clit as he kissed you. You moan into the kiss as he enters two fingers inside of you, pumping at an excruciatingly slow speed.

“Rick, please,” you beg. He smirks but doesn’t go any faster, making you squirm. You start to ride his fingers, forcing it to go faster, and he moans as your boobs bounce up and down.

“Okay, baby, okay.” He takes his fingers out. He lines his dick up with your entrance, and you lower yourself on to him, finally getting the thing you wanted. You go faster, both of you quickly approaching orgasm.

“Rick, oh my god, rick!” You yell out as you cum, which brings him to his brink. He pulls out of you quickly and moans as he cums onto your stomach. You roll over next to him on the couch, panting.

“Wow.” Is all you can manage to make out.

“That was long overdue.” He says, grabbing your face and kissing you. You stop once you notice that your window was open, and people were walking outside.

“God, Rick, they probably heard us.” You say embarrassed, blushing.

“Let them hear us. You’re mine.”

“I’m yours, huh?”

“If you want to be.” He says simply.

“How could I refuse an offer like that?” You smile, pulling him into another kiss.

“So…. Round two?”

A/N: This may or may not have a part two. Let me know if you would want one!

PART TWO HERE

[thebookrat]

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Alright, it was a sadly anticlimactic end to last week, as I found myself rather sick, and thus was week 3 curtailed. But I'm all better now — well, who am I kidding? I'm not. But I'm a solid 65% better and ready to get back at it! So let's start the week with your morning afternoon paper, shall we? It's all the Austen news that's fit to print! We'll be playing a little bit of catch-up, since I was sick towards the end of last week. So expect a chock-full schedule of Austen amazingness, including:

A think piece on isolation in Austen's leading ladies, from Lona Manning, along with a giveaway!

Not one but TWO! Janeite Conversations with this year's crop of Austenesque authors, this time on the transition to full-fledged "Janeite," and on dream-casting Austen for this week's Dinner & Movie night!

Speaking of our weekly Dinner & Movie night, it'll be a double feature this Friday, to make up for last Friday's lack of Janedate night!

We'll get our 3rd peek at Maria Grace's A Proper Introduction to Dragons, as part of this month's ongoing series (don't forget, you can enter to win both it and another book from the series here and here!)

A guest post from Melanie Rachel on Austen canon and "fanon," along with a giveaway!

A brief guest post & excerpt of Being Mrs Bennet from Alexa Adams, again, with giveaway!

And yet another giveaway, this time from me, of some hand-made Austeny things to add to your collection!

You may have missed:

An excerpt & giveaway from Leigh Dreyer (yes, she of the hilarious Menfolk post...)

A lunch date with yours truly, while I discuss a unique continuation I *heart*

Week 2 of our special excerpts from Maria Grace's A Proper Introduction to Dragons

A compelling conversation with Maria Grace on a surprisingly divisive, I thought totally-beloved, Austen man

Another thought-provoking piece, this time from Christina Boyd, on Austen's heroines' brush with feminism — and another giveaway!

My thoughts on another unique take on P&P (this time, with dragons), and, you guessed it, another giveaway!

An Austenesque FREEBIE for all, designed by yours truly!

In need of some Austenesque reads to get you in the mood for AIA? Here are some personal faves and current bargains to feed your reader -- and fill that Jane Austen shaped hole in your heart -- with! Some of these are even free on Kindle Unlimited, but some of these are just flat-out free! If you've read any of them, let me know your thoughts or recommendations in the comments!

                    Not enough Janery going on for you in this first week of AIA? Don’t worry, we’ve got 8 previous years to plunder for awesome Austen posts, In Case You Missed It! Take a stroll through and discover (or rediscover!) things like:

I had totally forgot about this, but one year, we had a Twitter fanfic contest, and OMG THIS IS BRILLIANT, we definitely need to do it again!

We chatted about Austen's 10 Most Frustrating Characters — and yes, I still want to shake them until their teeth rattle.

I talked about a book billed as a mashup between Pride & Prejudice and Veronica Mars, and I still think this is a genius pairing.

Maria Grace took on Harriet Smith in this short story, shared for AIA.

Laurie Viera Rigler talked about Emma and the "conspiracy of cluelessness"

Beth defended Fanny Price and her underappreciated wisdom

We watched Love & Friendship, and LOLOLOLOL

Karen Cox ranked Austen's novels, "definitively" -- the nerve! ;)

We found out what our own Regency persona would be... (the widowed Maria de Bourgh, at your service...)

and Amanda Grange gave us dueling Darcys

* a selection on newsy bits and bits and bobs for the truly discerning Janeite *

Lots of interesting home bits for you this week. This week, I'm sharing some things that definitely need to be in my collection (*looks at "society for obstinate, headstrong girls journal*) — oh, who am I kidding? Everything showcased in every single newsletter needs to be added to my collection!                 

Next week AIA comes to a close! I know, I know — I can't believe it either! But before we go, we'll be taking a look at some Austen read-alikes, potential new JAFF settings (and upcoming JAFF books), ice cream in Austen's day, one last Eat Like Austen recipe, a few other posts here and there, and a plethora of giveaways to cap them off! What are your favorite Austen tropes? What draws you back, time and again? Is it the Darcy/Lizzie hate-to-love element? Lost love refound in Persuasion? The biting humor and wit?  Sing Austen's praises in the comments!

Click here to return to the master list of Austen in August posts!

via The Book Rat