#every bullshit entitled male in the universe would do it

[gutterballgt]

I feel like we all need to watch 2004′s Stepford Wives again and marvel at how much more relevant it becomes with each passing year. I mean, it is a comical, existentially terrifying meta on toxic masculinity and how mediocre a man can be and still be considered the hero of a story, worthy of the heroine’s devotion.

Loooooong post. I got a lot to say on this subject.

It starts out with a few clips from a new season of TV shows, each with a feminist thrust about empowering women while men stew about being left in the dust without them actually doing anything to warrant keeping up. In the last of these promos, a married couple are separated on a tropical island and housed with professional prostitutes to see if they can be tempted away from their marriage vows.

The man, surprisingly, turns down his hot prostitute to stay “in Omaha with my Barbara”. It’s supposed to be this sweet moment of love and loyalty. Of sacrifice, because his wife is so homely while the prostitute was gorgeous and seemed devoted to his pleasure. Awwww.

The woman, who has been bombarded by multiple hot people who want her and who has only ever been with her husband, says she does love him, then jilts him for all the people responsible for what could only be a sexual awakening for her. We’re supposed to see her as a disloyal slut, turning her back on her sensitive, caring husband to have hot, dirty sex with the entire cast of a porno and a ridiculously built Hawaiian dude. How dare she, right? The Jezebel!

Then, we go back to the main studio where the heroine, Joanna, is clearly selling the new season with verve and all the confidence of a woman who knows she’s hit a hot button, and the jilted husband from the promo shows up and, instead of continuing the “sensitive, loyal man with a broken heart” shtick, he pulls out a gun, proposes a show called “let’s kill all the women!”, and tries to shoot Joanna.

We find out later that he’s already shot his wife and several of her new lovers.

I’m sorry, but we see that entirely too much in real life when women say no, when women try to leave, when women try to move on. Men become violent, even murderous, and wreak devastation on FAR more than the so-called source of their “broken heart”. At this late date, it’s too true-to-life to be as funny as it used to be.

There are too many so-called sensitive guys who feel entitled to a woman and think she has no say in the matter.

And that action -- that sudden, shocking violence by a jilted, shamed man -- is at the heart of literally everything else that happens in the movie. It’s the toxic masculinity we’re finally at least battling in public these days. The “if I can’t have you, no one can, and I’ll kill anyone who says otherwise and tries to help you” attitude.

Enter Walter, Joanna’s long-suffering husband. When she’s fired -- BECAUSE SHE WAS SHOT AT BY A VIOLENT JILTED MAN, not because she was bad at her job, her career and sanity sacrificed to some random asshole’s incoherent rage -- he quits his (lesser) job at the same company in a grand gesture of solidarity. Of course, they’re both ludicrously loaded (he states later that she’s always made 6 figures more than he could ever dream of, so it’s more like she’s loaded and he’s married to her), so it’s a largely empty gesture that costs him nothing. But it’s presented as oh, so romantic.

They proceed to move away after a short stint in a mental health facility for Joanna, who was understandably traumatized by her entire career and sense of place being yanked out from under her in addition to being shot, and again, Walter is portrayed as the supportive, caring husband, where Joanna is self-absorbed (ie., RECOVERING FROM TRAUMA) and snide to all their new neighbors (who are kind but empty behind their plastic smiles and kinda weird her out and are politely disdainful of her).

Everything about the set-up puts Joanna in the wrong to the point that she, herself, decides she’s a bad woman, a terrible mother and wife, and that she should literally change her entire self to be more like these false-smiled, plastic bimbos who are so objectified by their “drooling nerd” husbands. She even tries to recruit her friends -- Bobbie and Roger, the only two people she can connect with because they’re just as free-thinking and independent as Joanna has always been and were big names in their industries, just like her -- to buy into the Stepford way of life, though it goes so far against their grain that they can’t help but laugh about their attempts to fit in.

And Walter is thrilled. Here, he finally has the doting, stay-at-home wife and mother he always pictured for himself. He describes Stepford to the other men as “it’s like the way life is meant to be”. And, in a man’s mind, it sure is: he’s living the no-work life on his wife’s money, and he’s finally convinced her to be subservient to him. Why wouldn’t he be happy?

Isn’t that what every man wants?

So, with the dream in his hands, why wouldn’t he be insecure when Joanna starts to point out all the craziness around them, all the inconsistencies? Why wouldn’t he realize that she ISN’T really subservient to him? Not really? That she’s only doing so of her own volition and he has no real way to keep her acting that way if she chooses to take the kids and leave, as she’s threatened to when he refuses to listen to her?

This... is when his own toxic masculinity starts to grow.

Because he could have stopped the whole show when Roger was turned into a Stepford husband. He clearly knew what had happened, but he defended the whole thing 100%, arguing with Joanna about stereotyping Roger as a flaming gay instead of letting him be gay his own way, telling her that people change and she was being hysterical and selfish to find fault with Roger’s newfound “happiness”.

And he didn’t lift a finger to stop Bobbie’s transformation, even knowing she and Joanna had become best friends who were clinging to each other even harder with Roger’s sudden off-putting falseness. Even then, he was already planning Joanna’s transformation, as exemplified by the remote control she found in her house.

He’d already bought in. He was already willing to trade Joanna’s humanity for empty-eyed smiles, for sex with a subservient robot who could only praise him even if she felt nothing, for a tidy house and plenty of baked goods (which, may I remind you, Joanna was already doing while she tried so hard to be what he wanted her to be).

Then, when Joanna finally figures out the whole story -- because OF COURSE she did all the hard work to figure out who these poor women really were and what had been done to them -- and confronts him about it, what does he do? Ignore her entirely and start listing his grievances against her with his man friends cheering him on. And all his grievances are simply that she’s better at everything than him.

And she is. She’s a remarkably intelligent, talented, driven woman who had great success until a man tried to kill her and ruined her career, making her doubt herself.

She IS better than him. And that’s what he can’t stand.

That’s what none of them can stand.

And instead of feeling lucky that he got her, that she chose him even despite his obvious mediocrity, he’s furious and petulant and whines, “No! I got to hold your purse!” All the assholes chime in with “yeah, we’re the girl! and we don’t like it!”, etc., with no sense of irony that they’re demanding their wives “be the girl” because that would be okay somehow. Because women are supposed to wait on them hand and foot, raise the children out of sight and out of mind, keep the house spotless, present their perfect bodies for fucking whenever it’s wanted, and be silent and supportive whenever they’re NOT wanted.

So, it comes down to Walter’s big “hero” moment, where Joanna makes a passionate plea to save her humanity and he, at the last moment (and, more notably, out of sight of the other men), decides he can’t do that to her. Can’t turn her into an automated sex toy.

And we’re supposed to cheer.

For this minimal, absolute-least-he-could-do gesture. He just... didn’t erase his wife’s individuality when he had the chance, because he couldn’t look her in the eye and effectively kill her.

So heroic. Such a fucking sacrifice.

In reality, Joanna did all the fucking work, and all while having to convince the man she loved, who supposedly loved her, that she’s a goddamn human being that shouldn’t be turned into a goddamn robot just because he felt insecure about being a mediocre nobody.

She’s the one who had to pretend to be a perfect, subservient robot for who knows how long to fool the whole town until they could get back into the transformation facility to free all the other women. She’s the one who distracted Mike so Walter could get away and sneak into the facility.

He doesn’t even have, like, mad hacking skills. He’s allowed into the secret lab because he’s a man. And even then, he just pushes buttons randomly on the first screen he sees until the file corrupts itself and the programming breaks down. He doesn’t even know he hasn’t KILLED the first woman before he’s slapping at all the screens without rhyme or reason until all the programs stop.

And Joanna, bless her heart, gives him the credit for it. “No, that’s a man,” she says admiringly.

And then she proceeds to save Walter (again, because she’s already saved him from himself) by knocking Mike’s head off and exposing him for the robot he is, revealing the twist that Claire, Mike’s wife, was the actual neurosurgeon mastermind behind the entire plot.

And, lo and behold, her insanity sprung from her husband, the real Mike, cheating on her. From her catching them in the act and being so stressed out from overwork and trying to live up to expectations that she snapped and killed them both.

Of course, the whole plot is undone now -- thanks to Joanna -- and all the men get their house arrest in Stepford, forced to live the roles they forced on their wives (without the loss of their will, of course, so it’s not anywhere near a comparable sentence)... except Walter.

Because he’s supposed to be the hero.

I just....

Don’t get me wrong. I love the movie. It’s entertaining, and it does a masterful job of slipping in the little micro-aggressions that women deal with daily -- my favorite little stiletto through the ribs is when New Roger calls on Joanna at the assembly, but instead of calling her by her name, Joanna Eberhart, he calls her “Mrs. Walter Kresby”, completely erasing her from the address; it’s funny but also infuriating because it’s, again, too true to life -- and it’s just so well done. Stepford looks like a dream and feels like a nightmare, and it is masterful moviemaking.

But it still pisses me off because, for all its feminist edge, for all its warnings about the dangers of toxic masculinity, it still treats Walter as the hero and makes Joanna grateful to him, his doting wife who’s so proud of him.

Walter.

Who, during that last interview, is very distinctly not carrying her purse.

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 7: Simon Furman and His Lack of a Relationship with the Singular They

The Lost Light is still being attacked by Ammonites, like it has been for the last few issues. Hound’s taken over as acting field commander and is calling all the shots. Chromedome uses his stupid beefy arms to punch things. Trailcutter is screaming. Swerve’s got his My First Blaster™ strapped to the top of his alt, and saves Crosscut.

Crosscut is our toy tie-in character for this issue. He’s a senator, and drafts play scripts. Arguably one of the more interesting tie-in guys, at least in theory. In practice, all he’s doing is forgetting Swerve’s name, which isn’t going to help the guy with his through-the-floor self esteem.

Crosscut points out that Swerve’s communicator is flashing, and while he’s checking his voicemail, all the Ammonites seemingly vanish… at least, until the gang realizes that they’re instead heading for Metroplex.

Inside, it would appear that the Rod Pod Squad aren’t actually dead, though their ride is probably toast. Before everything went to hell, a wall slammed down from the ceiling, protecting everyone from being utterly destroyed. Skids has figured out what all the arrow graffiti is about, earning himself a BOMP from Getaway. Looks like the internal structure of Metroplex has been shifting, and that’s why they got the runaround last issue. Also, Whirl’s gone missing, but we don’t have time to worry about that, because Swerve just called back with some bad news: the admium flakes they saw earlier mean that Metroplex has an alchemical virus.

Don’t you look at me like that, I’m getting to the explanation.

Alchemical viruses turn the metal of the body into admium, a rare, incredibly soft metal that will break down very easily and also kill you. It’s pretty bad to have. Also, contagious. Fellas better get outta there, posthaste.

The Ammonites are also storming Metroplex, so that’s an additional issue. God, it just never stops, does it?

Over in the Dead Universe-

Is

Is that a fortress of evil in the shape of Nova Prime’s head?

Is that a goddamned fortress-

Anyway, the center of Nova Prime’s universe is Kup, who was the guy who got oh-so-dramatically revealed at the end of the last issue. Unfortunately, Orion Pax also considers Kup to be very near and dear to his heart, and the whole “being turned into a space bridge” thing is going to be an issue.

This is the weirdest love triangle I’ve ever seen.

How the hell did Kup even get here? Well, in order to know that, you’ve have to had read Infestation, the bullshit zombie crossover comic miniseries that ran in 2011.

But I’m not going to do that.

Because I don’t want to.

After a bit of showboating, Nova Prime orders Nightbeat to take Team -Imus to their cell.

Over on Cybertron, Shockwave is getting real sick of Galvatron’s shit, but Galvatron is too busy posing dramatically to notice. Waspinator, Metalhawk, and Dreadwing float in the air. I’m not sure what they’re up to, but I’m sure it’s important. Jhiaxus shows up with a gaggle of goons, one of which seems to have forgotten his face in the jar by the door.

Galvatron gets shamed for tearing Megatron in half, since that sort of broke the space bridge in his torso, but he’s too busy being classist to care. Waspinator floats in the background. What are you doing back there, pal?

Shockwave orders Waspinator to carry Megatron to his quarters, but Galvatron’s decided that he’s going to be an asshole about everything today, even when he’s being helpful.

…Okay, Boomer.

Waspinator still ends up hauling Megatron’s ass away, and Shockwave and Jhiaxus have a little chat.

Back in the dead universe, Team -Imus are in their cell, as Nightbeat double-checks the locks or some shit, I dunno. They’re gonna get their sparks ripped out later in the day, so that the space bridge Kup’s got running in his torso finally has enough juice to actually friggin’ work.

Then Rodimus flashes his mystery hand at Nightbeat and makes him fall down. In order for the whole brainwashing thing to work, Nightbeat’s true nature had to be suppressed; however, whenever Rodimus shows off his mystery hand, it makes his brain kickstart back on, messing up the brainwashing.

Well, you know what, Cyclonus? That’s not my fucking fault. Blame Roberts and Barber. I certainly do.

ORION PLEASE.

We finally get a look at what Rodimus’ hand mystery is, and if you read Eugenesis, you might know where this is going. It would seem Nightbeat has not- which is for the best, really, given what happens to him in it- but he’s still a pretty smart cookie and can suss it out through the power of deductive reasoning. Here’s what he’s working with:

After a moment’s deliberation, he asks Rodimus, who he knows to be the captain of a ship, how many folks are riding around in the space yacht. Rodimus tells him 190, and shows off that he’s got his lipgloss on, and it would seem that Nightbeat’s a free man again. He lets everyone out of the cell, and they gear up to go pick up Kup. Orion Pax is confused as to what the hell just happened here, and Rodimus promises to explain why he’s carved a division problem into his palm once they aren’t in immediate danger.

Back on Cybertron, Galvatron and Waspinator are dragging Megatron’s halves towards Shockwave’s quarters, when Bumblebee pops out of nowhere with a gun and a mouth full of swears. He’s here for Megatron, and he’s not taking “no” for an answer. Galvatron thinks that this is super fucking funny, and tosses Megatron like an empty soda can into the wall so he can squash a bug.

It looks pretty grim for ol’ Bumblebee, but suddenly Galvatron realizes he left the oven on that Megatron’s gone missing.

Oh, there he is!

Megatron blasts Galvatron in the torso, then- in a surprisingly polite manner, at least for him- tells Bumblebee to grab his legs so they can get out of here. As the two of them traverse the burned-out husk that is Cybertron, Megatron decides to be a complete bastard, as he smiles at the idea of Starscream suffering. Like, dude, I know he kept you in weird hamster ball jail and spouted soliloquies in your general direction every single day you were there, but folks are dying right now.

Speaking of Starscream, he’s having a moment, as he sits on his knees and stares at the sky in abject horror while the world burns around him. Scoop comes by to yell at him for being a harbinger of death, and generally being a less than stellar leader, and Starscream halfway calls himself a dumpster fire.

Back inside Metroplex, the Rod Pod Squad are fortifying their defenses against the Ammonites, even though they really need to be getting the hell out of there before they get turned into talcum powder through the power of alchemy. Whirl shows back up, the Ammonite hanger-on in his grasp, and we get the skinny on why the hell the Ammonites are involved with this whole debacle anyway.

The answer is Shockwave.

The answer is always Shockwave.

Then the little dude explodes. It’s fine, they do that sometimes.

Before he went kablooey, little dude uttered the phrase, “if the dead are not enough.” We’ll get to what all that’s about later. Right now there are far more important things going on.

LIKE MOTHERFUCKING LADY ROBOTS.

But why is this such a big deal? Why is it that non-male coded robots who aren’t Arcee haven’t been seen up until this point? What’s up with that, huh?

Well, in order to understand IDW’s complicated relationship with gender, we’re going to have to do some digging into the history of Transformers as a franchise.

We’re going to have to talk about Simon Furman.

We're going to have to talk about Prime's Rib.

And we’re going to have to talk about Spotlight: Arcee.

Simon Furman wrote a lot of Transformers. You cannot get away from Simon Furman, because the man is so ingrained in the franchise. He was there for Marvel UK, he was there for the back half of Marvel US, he wrote for several other publication runs of Transformers, he worked on the Earth Wars mobile game-

-and, of course, IDW publishing.

Because Furman is so very well established and known in the industry, he gets the benefit of not being questioned on a lot of the calls he makes.

Which is a problem, because the man is a massive misogynist.

In 1989, Marvel UK #234 came out, containing the story entitled “Prime’s Rib!” in which the Autobots built Arcee in order to appease a group of strawmen feminists. Of course, one female Transformer isn’t enough for them, and they yell at poor Optimus Prime for trying his best. This is the point where Hot Rod is used as a writer avatar to try to smooth things over with the reader, because you see, the Transformers don’t even know what sexual dimorphism and gender identity even is, so of course they wouldn’t have female members of their race! Jazz is used for a breast joke. Arcee acts like a massive, stereotypical bitch the whole time, despite not having been written like that at all in the other issues. It’s a bad comic with hideous ideology leaking out of it, and I'm halfway sorry I read it, so I’ll just give you the essence of this nightmare.

Oh, those big, mean, scary feminists are bullying the robots for living their lives, huh Furman? Life is just so goddamned unfair when a woman exists in your fucking line of sight.

Furman has gone on record saying that he doesn’t see the point in including the concept of gender in a race of non-sexually reproducing robots. He sees them as “genderless.” Which, if that statement existed in a vacuum, I could perhaps see where he’s coming from.

But Simon Furman does not exist in a vacuum. He exists in a world where sexism exists, something that he’s willingly participated in.

Let me back up that little tidbit with a bit of a disclaimer: I’m not in any way an expert on gender. I didn’t study it in school, I’ve not read an obscene amount of pieces on the topic. I’m not even sure about it on a personal level.

Maybe some of y’all have noticed the whole other set of pronouns I slapped into the bio in the last month or so. It doesn’t really matter, 90% of people don’t read the FAQ/About, I know that, and then 95% of those people only read it once, and this has been a relatively new self-revelation.

BUT ANYWAY.

Let’s be… fair about this. 1989 was a while ago, a lot of research on the concept of gender has taken place, maybe he’s ch-

Oh, what’s that?

Misogyny?

Transphobia?

Transmisogyny?

Treating women as an aberration being forced on Transformers as a whole?

And the writing is clunky and overstuffed?

Well, that’s just fucking fantastic, Furman, thanks so much.

This was in 2008. Because Furman established that female Transformers weren’t something natural, but rather made, and forcibly at that, and nobody fucking smacked his little hands away from this terrible idea, AND nobody tried to fix it for years, there was a lack of gender diversity within IDW until 2014, with the release of Dark Cybertron Chapter 7. Because we waited six years to fix this nightmare, things couldn’t be done quite the way that Roberts had been hoping, in that he intended for our female robots to not have the whole… fembot build happening. IDW wanted them immediately clockable, because this was very clearly a problem that needed rectifying.

So, in short: because of boys’ club mentality and a lack of understanding of what gender means or why it’s important for roughly 50% of the world’s population to have representation in media, Nautica and Chromia are here now.

And despite the convoluted road they had to take, I love them very much.

[danidoesathing]

ok! i’ve got the beginning and end written, it’s the middle that i need to write still, and it’s disgustingly sweet (i’ll post it to ao3 when i’ve got it finished bc i refuse to upload an unfinished work). also lemme know if you wanna read the ending as well, i wasn’t sure (it, too, is fluffy to hell and back)

Chapter 1:

Tim hated this. He hated it all. He’d rather be anywhere else in the world if he could, he could’ve been at home in his room with his laptop and Jay to talk to, but instead he was here with his mom who thought that she had any right to his life after leaving it for good (when he was twelve years old in a mental hospital too, who did that to their child?) and apparently forgot why she did, since she wouldn’t shut up. He’d had enough by the third hour of the “vacation” she took him to, and maybe if he hadn’t hated pity as much as he did, especially from the one that caused him to be pitied, he would have enjoyed the five-star hotel stay more, rather than feel like he was stuck in one long panic attack. He had managed to get away, though. He excused himself to the bathroom and felt grateful she had allowed him that much. He didn’t pay too much attention to the walk to the bathroom - he was trying to breathe in and out regularly and count to ten and pay attention to what he felt and all the other coping methods they taught him in the ten years he spent in the psych ward. He only realized there was someone else in the bathroom when the person (Tim assumed they were male, this was the men’s bathroom) sighed and firmly said, “I need more time, you can’t just ruin my entire life to gain a few weeks.” 

Brian had really been looking forward to the week he’d spend on his own - privacy and being alone weren’t really concepts that his family understood, and it had only gotten worse when the marriage proposal came. He’d tried to explain countless times that he was gay and that he would rather marry a frog than the fake, manipulative, entitled, rude, homophobic, racist, bitchy, but most importantly rich girl his parents had chosen for him to marry. As if he’d spend more than a minute within a five-mile radius of the piece of shit who wanted his money and his name, nothing else. When the call from his mother (Brian had stopped calling Carol Thomas his mom years ago, when she first started denying his issues and instead punished him for things he couldn’t control) came, he escaped to the bathroom since it was closer than his room, even though it was a lot less private. He didn’t think anything would go wrong, it wasn’t busy at the restaurant and even if someone entered, they would probably leave him alone to suffer in his misery. 

Brian hadn’t noticed the tired man who slunk into the bathroom at first, but when he saw the defeated slump of his shoulders and how utterly exhausted his eyes looked, his mother demanded that he come home the next day. He was pretty sure that everyone within the state could hear his sigh, and he thought about how he had gotten so sick of his own family that this was the case with every conversation he had with them. After his final compromise, he hung up without saying goodbye or waiting for Carol to respond. He knew what she would have said anyway, was far too familiar with the same conversation.

Tim hesitated, trying to figure out what to do - he couldn’t just leave and pretend he’d heard nothing, but he didn’t know this man, like, at all, so he also couldn’t try to comfort him or ask him what was wrong, because something clearly was. 

“Family problems,” Brian said into the silence, which was probably just a few seconds long but to Tim’s anxiety-ridden mind it was a lifetime of waiting. 

Tim smiled slightly. “I’m familiar.” 

Brian made an interested noise.  “You tell me about your life, and I tell you ‘bout mine, alright?” 

He understood what sort of deal this was, he was used to therapists and doctors and psychiatrists trying to take his brain apart and figure out what was wrong with him, to try to fix him (or that’s what they said, but he wasn’t sure there weren’t any other reasons behind their words). He despised being treated like a wild animal who could lose his mind and attack at any moment, with a single wrong move. They had treated him like he was dangerous and they pitied him for it, but Brian, he hadn’t looked scared of Tim. He hadn’t acted like he was trying to play it safe - rather, he had tried to make Tim feel comfortable by making himself as vulnerable as Tim was. He realized that he didn’t want to strangle Brian. I’ve spent so much time with psychologists that I’ve started acting like one, analyzing everything and everyone’s actions. Tim laughed internally at the thought. 

“Sure. I don’t have anything else to do anyway,” He responded, and told Brian about his current predicament with his mother, leaving out the parts in which he was at the hospital - he just said that he had a chronic illness and his mom had left him at 12 when he had been in the hospital for four years. 

“Shit, dude, that really sucks. She doesn’t have any right to your life now, you know that right?” Brian said at the end of Tim’s story, after a short pause to take it all in. “I’m going to sound like a whiny white asshole with my story now,” he added. Tim shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. After all, my life doesn’t invalidate yours,” he said, and the corners of Brian’s mouth twitched up. “I guess you’re right,” he said, and started explaining how his parents wanted him to marry a rich woman high up the ladder of status in the elite community he was born into, and Tim could feel himself tensing up and his mind starting to buzz. 

Brian noticed that the man in front of him was looking a little off, and stopped midway through describing that he only had the next week or so to find his soulmate, otherwise he’d be stuck with someone he hated for the rest of his life. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly, and the other man (Brian only just realized that he knew this man’s life story but not his name, and mentally reprimanded himself for not introducing himself and asking his name) took a shuddering breath. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, and Brian didn’t call him out on his bullshit. “Please continue, I’m way too invested in your life now.” He smiled, and Brian laughed. 

“Alright, but first, you have to tell me your name because I’ve realized we haven’t introduced ourselves and it’s killing me,” Brian said.

“My name’s Tim Wright.”

“Brian Thomas. Nice to meet you, I guess,” Tim rolled his eyes at Brian’s antics, but Brian knew he was amused, as evidenced by Tim’s light snort. Tim told him to get on with the story, (a bit like a whining child, but in a good way, Brian thought) and he responded with, “Okay, okay, I’ll get to it then.”

“There isn’t much left,” Brian warned. When Tim nodded his understanding, he continued from where he had stopped, and when he had finished talking about his current fucked-up situation, the other man had been shocked into silence. 

“You have to be kidding me,” he finally said. “There’s no way that that shit’s real and actually happening to you.” 

Brian shook his head and sighed. “I wish I was, but nope! My parents are just assholes who are outta their minds.” 

Tim thought for a second - he had to do something, but he didn’t know what he could to be able to help. He chewed on his lip, and after a minute or so, had an idea that he thought could possibly work. 

“How about we pretend that we’re soulmates?” he asked Brian, who looked taken aback but also as if he was considering Tim’s proposition. Tim was about to backtrack and apologize, maybe say something along the lines of or we can just not do that if you don’t want to I’m sorry for bringing it up you must think I’m so creepy and weird and can we just ignore this ever happened?  

But then Brian nodded thoughtfully, and said, “Actually, I can imagine how that would work. I’d call my parents and tell them that I’ve already found my soulmate and that I want to spend more time with you, and you’d talk to them in order to convince them further if they don’t believe me. I already know I’m gay, so my soulmate is definitely a man, so your voice being a guy’s wouldn’t be a problem and when I find my actual soulmate, if they sound different to you, we could just blame it on the phone being weird through the call. We could say that we wanna spend a few weeks getting to know each other before I leave, and during that time I could find my real soulmate. If I can’t, then we can come up with scenarios in which I’d need to stay longer until I do. Yeah, actually, this is a really good idea, Tim.” 

“Uh, really? I mean, thanks,” Tim said, still reeling from Brian’s rambling. “How are we going to do this? Do you like, I don’t know, wanna call your parents and I can talk to them?”

“Yeah, sure, give me a sec,” Brian fished in his pocket for his phone and Tim internally panicked while Brian called his mother. He would have had a panic attack, but before he could truly get worked up, Brian was already talking. 

“Hey mother, guess what happened - no, you’ll never guess - I found my soulmate! And he’s a guy like I said he would be! Oh, you don’t want my soulmate to be a man? Well, unfortunately, apparently the universe doesn’t share your homophobic views - oh come on, would I lie about this? You don’t believe me? Fine, I guess I’ll have to prove it. Mother, meet Tim.”

“Hello Mrs. Thomas, it’s nice to meet you,” Tim said, and Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen, and he didn’t want Tim to be there for it. He hated his parents, and the thought of them hurting Tim in any way was unbearable. Wait, what? I met him like 15 minutes ago, why do I care so much about him? He was going to figure out his feelings regarding Tim, but then he saw how he was getting anxious, so he decided to intervene now and unpack his shit later. 

Grabbing the phone from Tim, he told his parents that he and Tim wanted to get to know each other by staying at the hotel for longer, and when they objected, he simply reminded them that he was his own person and as an adult, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to do, slowly getting more pissed off with every word that his parents said. Knowing that he would snap if he listened to more of their bullshit, he hung up after letting them know he would stay for a few more weeks in Ohio, though probably in a motel (he wasn’t rich enough to spend weeks at a five-star hotel). He looked at Tim. “Are you okay? You looked pretty freaked out there, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put that much pressure on-”

“No, no, you’re fine. I guess I just felt overwhelmed, sort of? I don’t really know why I felt so anxious, but I’ve been dealing with anxiety for, like, 16 years. I should be used to it by now,“ Tim assured Brian. "Plus, it worked, didn’t it? they weren’t happy, but they seem to have believed us, so you can stay for a few more weeks and try to find your soulmate. Actually, why are you searching in Ohio and not Alabama anyway? Aside from the obvious reason, of course.” he added. 

Brian frowned. “I don’t really know, I guess this just felt closer to my soulmate. You know how your mark is supposed to like, tingle and shit?” Tim nodded, and Brian continued. “Yeah, I guess that’s why - Ohio feels like I’m closer to finding them than in Alabama." 

"Yeah, I think I get it. It feels the same for me too, if I think about it - my mark feels weird and that’s never happened before, so I must be doing something right,” Tim said after thinking for a while, and Brian laughed.

“Hey, who knows, maybe we’ll find our soulmates in here, and maybe we’ll find them at around the same time - that would be so cool! You know, I think I rather like you, Tim. I’d like to be friends - if you wanna, of course,” Brian said, and Tim answered with an affirmative. 

“Well, you’re pretty cool yourself Brian Thomas, and I would indeed like to be friends, but I really gotta go. Emily’s probably going out of her mind, wondering where her son she found after 12 years went to,” Tim joked, and they exchanged numbers. 

“ So, I still have a week or so left, which means I’ll probably see you around the hotel and shit. Bye Tim,” Brian called as he left the bathroom, and Tim waved back before following.

  Chapter 2:

Brian walked back to his room, since he had already finished his dinner, and contemplated the last hour. He had gone from having to fight his parents for less than a week to find his soulmate to being given permission (well, sort of. Brian thought it counted if they had always encouraged him to do something until it actually got to the point in which said thing would be applicable - they couldn’t just change their minds because they were homophobic assholes) for almost a month doing whatever he wanted wherever he wanted to. 

Of course, there was also Tim. He didn’t quite understand why he liked Tim already, or why Tim had helped him, but he knew that he didn’t regret it at all. Plus, they were friends now, and he felt that they would only get closer with time. He’d arrived at his room by this point, and after entering, he decided that he wouldn’t get anything else done today. Within minutes he was in bed - no point pretending to be functional when there was nobody around to see it, and plus, he was very sleep-deprived and he should probably go to sleep to fix that. 

Since he’d been lying still with his eyes closed for over an hour, Brian believed that he was justified in going on his phone. However, once he opened his phone, he realized that he didn’t really have anything to do, and in a moment of boredom and apathy for his future, he decided to text Tim.

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: Hey tim

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: it’s me brian

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: if you couldn’t tell

  He was surprised to see that Tim was online, and soon enough, he saw Tim’s typing bubble pop up.

  Tim [23:44]: yeah 

Tim [23:44]: i saved your number

  Tim [23:44]: anyway whats up

  Brian smiled because of course Tim was awake, he totally seemed like the type of person who’s constantly tired and sleep-deprived.

  savingprivatebrian [23:44]: nothing

  savingprivatebrian [23:45]: i just couldnt sleep

  Tim [23:45]: i get that

Tim [23:46]: insomnias a bitch

  savingprivatebrian [23:46]: yep

savingprivatebrian [23:47]: so do you wanna just talk until we can sleep

  Tim [23:47]: please

He laughed at Tim’s response, and settled comfortably into his nest of pillows (perks of five-star hotels) to talk to Tim.

In the end, they both agreed to go to sleep at around 3:30 in the morning, after having texted for almost four hours. If he wasn’t so sleepy, he might’ve wondered why conversation was so easy when he was talking to Tim when he normally wouldn’t be able to even form sentences with people he knew as little as he knew Tim. Instead, though, he placed his phone on the bedside drawer, rolled over, and fell asleep within minutes, still with a little smile playing on his lips.

  Chapter 3:

  A week later, Tim’s mother left to go back to work, and Tim promised her that he’d come to visit every now and then. He was surprised to find that he was planning to keep that promise - after his mom explained her reasons, he learned that she hadn’t left because she wanted to, only because she had to. Her life had been easier without him, and that realization hurt. He had held her back her entire life, and he really couldn’t blame her for having done whatever she could to get rid of the reason she couldn’t be happy. He was over it, though. He had had more than a decade to come to terms with the fact that everyone he cared about would leave him eventually, when they realized that he would always be problematic, that he would never get better, and that he would always drag them down. Why would anyone stay with that?

Then came was Brian. Tim knew that he was falling, falling hard, but he also knew that Brian didn’t feel the same - they both wanted to find their soulmates, and even if Brian did like someone as fucked up as Tim, when he found his soulmate, he’d just leave. 

He had told Brian about his mom and how he felt, as well as why he was in a hospital for 10 years, and Brian���s only reaction was to hug him (they didn’t notice that no parts of their skin had made contact, Tim would later realize) and telling him that he’d never leave. That was a bigger deal than Brian realized, and he had broken down crying, which caused Brian to start crying too. They had spent about 2 hours talking about their problems, and Tim left Brian’s room feeling better than he had for over a month. They had only been friends for a few days at that point, but there was no denying that they had a connection - they were already so, so close (and if Tim wanted them to be even closer, well, no-one had to know). 

Jay had called, on the second day. He had asked what was going on and why the hell Tim hadn’t texted or called him - rightfully so, since they usually talked daily and it had been more than 2 days with nothing. Tim had ranted about Brian and his mom, but it had taken Jay about ten minutes into Tim’s monologue to point out that he was totally crushing on Brian, and Tim had found himself unable to argue. After talking for over an hour, Jay had hung up with a threat to Tim if he didn’t text him everything that happened. 

Tim thought back to that conversation many times over the following days - he could trust Jay to call him out on his bullshit and help him work through it, and he knew Jay could do the same. Whenever his anxiety convinced him that they simply tolerated his presence and actually hated him, Tim would text Jay (and now Brian) and Jay would not stop texting him until Tim had no doubt left about their friendship.

On his last day in the hotel, a week after he arrived and met Brian, he had breakfast with Brian to talk about what they were going to do, since this was Brian’s last day too. 

“Over here,” Brian called out as Tim walked into the restaurant in the hotel, from which they got free breakfast. 

“Hey,” Tim said when he sat down. “You wanna go get some food? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, sure. Just a second,” Brian put his stuff on the extra chair, and connected his phone to a charger. “My battery’s at 12 percent,” he explained at Tim’s questioning look.

“Alright, let’s go. What do you wanna get?” Brian asked when they entered the self-service area.

“Eggs and bacon first, so they cook, but I’ll look around anyway to see what’s there,” Tim answered while grabbing a plate.

“Why didn’t you get a fork and knife too?”

“Because I’ll drop them, Brian.” 

“Ha, weak.”

“Do you really want to try me?” 

“Geez, you’re just so scary.”

“I know.” 

They had reached the omelette station, and they waited for their orders to be cooked in comfortable silence, which was new to both of them. Shaking his head, Tim decided to ignore his lack of friends while he was so happy and had the chance to spend time with someone who not only could tolerate him, but also wanted to befriend him. 

He was brought back to reality by Brian nudging him, and snapped his eyes onto Brian in alarm, quickly realizing there was no threat, there was just his food (paranoia had become a reflex at this point, and he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to laugh or cry because of it). 

Throughout breakfast, Tim found his eyes lingering more and more on Brian’s lips when all social and conversational norms stated that his gaze should be on his eyes or overall figure to watch his body language and hand gestures, so like everyone else who’s ever been in this situation, he decided, okay, we’re going to put these feelings of attraction in a box, now close it, and yep! Push it as far away from coherent thought as you can, right up against the childhood trauma, self-hatred, insecurity, and look! It’s the box of fear of abandonment. Now, we don’t think about these, so surely this’ll be safe here. After cataloging everything into the dark basement of his mind, buried deep under everything else and covered in the mental equivalent of cobwebs and a layer of dust over everything, he simply looked away from Brian’s mouth and focused on literally any other part of his body, like, like- his eyes! That would surely work, wouldn’t it? You can’t possibly mess eye contact up, even though you’re, well, you, Tim. Don’t fuck this up with your social incompetence.

Yeah, no. After only a few minutes of trying to draw his attention away from what Brian would taste like, he found out that eyes are just as dangerous as lips, since he found that it was easier than it should be to get lost in Brian’s warm hazel eyes. He never realized that there were rings of different colours, and with the light framing his face, he looked otherworldly, like he didn’t belong to planet Earth or at least had some kind of magic coursing through his veins, just like warmth was coursing through Tim’s as he drowned in the ocean of brown and green filling Brian’s eye sockets. Because he was drowning, drowning, drowning as he forgot to breathe, move, do anything at all in the haze that came over him.

-------------------------------

[a-polite-melody]

Truscum are always “honestly asking in good faith” why someone would transition without dysphoria.

Why the scare quotes?

Because while that’s what they say they’re doing, and what they’re portraying that they’re doing on the surface, what they’re actually doing is more insidious than that.

First of all, on any other posts made by truscum, where they’re trying to “educate” people, they say that their stance can be summarized just by, “you need dysphoria to be trans.” Anything else they say is built upon that assumption. And yes. That’s true.

And so, while asking why someone would want to transition if they aren’t dysphoric may seem like a harmless question and an opportunity to educate, it’s actually a trap.

Usually, as seen by how they move forward on those posts, they’re asking this question in lieu of asking how someone can be trans without dysphoria. They’re associating transness with transition, which is assimilationist bullshit that trans people have fought against for ages.

They’re perpetuating the societally held cisnormative believe that being cisgender is the default and trans people suffer because they’re “born with the wrong body” or “have a different brain sex than their body’s sex” or whatever the hell else nonesense cis people try to explain transness with (while coincidentally ignoring the extreme amounts of variation within even just cis people who share agabs’ primary sex characteristics, secondary sex characteristics, gonad structure, hormone levels, chromosomal make-up, etc. that demonstrate that the binary sexes aren’t two distinct categories, but a spectrum of different traits, and so “male brains and female brains” being in the wrong “female bodies and male bodies” is a gross oversimplification, as all sex-essentialist views are).

Basically, it’s a very reductionist stance that truscum/transmeds have taken by way of equating transness with transition with dysphoria (ie. clinicially significant levels of distress).

So, to answer their actual question of: “How can someone be trans without having dysphoria?” while also going over the answer to their ““good faith”” question’s answer as well.

Being trans is defined as “a person whose sex/gender assigned to them at birth differs from their actual gender.” If someone, when they were born, had a doctor exclaim about them, “it’s a girl!!” and then the person themself later, once they’ve started learning more about themself as a growing, developing person, says, “actually I think I’m a [insert-other-gender-descriptor-here],” then they’re trans.

No part of that requires dysphoria. And you aren’t entitled to know if they experienced it or not in realizing they’re trans.

That isn’t to say that dysphoria isn’t a very common way trans people realize that they’re trans, and that it’s not a common thing many trans people deal with. It just isn’t (and doesn’t have to be) a universal experience for every trans person. Every person is different. Every trans person is different. Your experience of having dysphoria may not accurately describe other trans people’s experiences, just like my experience of having had only euphoria may not accurately describe other trans people’s experiences.

I, personally, have fluctuating dysphoria. It took me multiple months after realizing that I’m trans to actually identify that feeling as dysphoria because it did fluctuate so much (and still does), while my gender euphoria stayed constant and very strong. And no, I’m not saying that to say, “take it from a real dysphoric trans,” I’m saying that for a long while, even after I’d realized I was trans, I didn’t actually have dysphoria. I still go through long spells of not having dysphoria.

I knew I wasn’t a woman. It never felt wrong to be called a woman, but saying that I’m not a woman feels more right. Which is why I want to socially transition to being nonbinary, and have in online spaces and offline safe spaces. Even before I experienced dysphoria, even when I haven’t experienced dysphoria in a long while, I still am nonbinary and want to be referred to as such. Same deal can happen with body parts. While I’ve basically resigned myself to not have gender affirming surgeries because I don’t need even more surgeries on top of the likely many I’ll have in the future because of chronic illness and disability... I should have a penis. I was born without one. I’m not dysphoric about what I have. I even kinda like what I’ve got going on down there when it’s not throwing a tantrum at me about one thing or another. But I also have. Basically a phantom penis. It’s there, even if it’s not physically there. I’m not dysphoric, but if it were viable for me to have that kind of intensive surgery paying out of pocket (because for me it’s not necessary, even though I want it), I totally would. There’s physical transition without dysphoria, and notice how it doesn’t steal resources considering even with universal healthcare where I live, non-necessary procedures usually can’t be covered, and also get pushed down to the very bottom of waiting lists in favour of people who have serious need of those surgeries within a shorter timeline so that the resource of time actually ends up getting taken from those of us who might get an improved quality of life, but don’t technically need the surgeries because we’re not dysphoric and often will end up with our lives on pause for years so that people who need it sooner can only have their lives paused for a few months. Just saying. (Resource stealing arguments have never made sense to me, especially now that I’m in the medical system for other non-“necessary” crap related to the disability/chronic conditions and keep getting sidelined and nothing is moving forward because I’m not imminently dying, so it’s fine, I guess. But I digress...)

My experience of transness has had so little dysphoria that the majority of what I’d consider to be that transness has nothing to do with dysphoria. Dysphoria has almost no role in my identity or my being trans.

It’s at about this point that I’m expecting comments like, “But you are dysphoric. It doesn’t matter that it’s rare, all that matters is that you’re dysphoric!”

And that misses the point entirely. I’m not looking for validation for myself. I’m not looking for edgy teens who think bullying people is fun and cool if you’re an oppressed person doing it to tell me that actually, I’m a “twue vawid twans uwuwuwu!!!”

I’m saying that propping dysphoria up as the one single thing that makes a person trans is reductionist and has assimilationist roots. It’s intrusive and a violation to require knowledge of someone’s medical conditions (which dysphoria is, transness is not).

Take trans people at our words. We know us best. And you being trans doesn’t make you the expert on each and every one of us. Instead of trying to prove if someone’s a cishet faker, take them at face value.

And, you know... just. Use their behaviour to gage if they should be asked to leave or not. I’ve been hurt waaaay more often and way more seriously by gatekeepers in LGBT+ spaces than people in queer spaces who are “““transtrending”””. I’d rather outsiders see people having harmless fun exploring their identities and thinking trans people are a joke than them seeing people infighting and making what is meant to be a safe and welcoming space for people figuring out gender stuff into a place of bullying and harassment and think trans people are a joke.

Because, in the end, people saying they’re stargender will never hurt trans people as much as someone probing into their medical history, assuming things about them based on parts of their appearance which they can’t hide about themself (like big hips, breasts that can’t be made flat or can’t be bound at all, etc.) that make them “present female” (whatever the hell that means), especially if that trans person has been trying to love all of their body anyway as part of self care, and as such triggering dysphoria in a whole bunch of trans people in doing so.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Not With A Boom But A Whimper

"I’ve always seen the boomers as a generational trust-fund baby: They inherited a country they had no part in building, failed to appreciate it, and seized on all the benefits while leaving nothing behind." -- Sean Illing

I think Illing’s core thesis is correct. The boomers (and I'm in that age group) tended to be societal conformists except when it came to protecting their own self interests. They supported the counter culture in the 1960s and early 70s because they didn't want to go to Vietnam, and at that time that meant supporting civil rights and feminism and gay rights because it was all one big struggle against the establishment but as soon as the threat of war ended, those allies were by and large abandoned as the focus shifted to making money. Hippies to yippies to yuppies. 

Clearly "not all" boomers did this, just as "not all" cops are white supremacists, and "not all" men are rapists, but there sure is a problem in those respective cultures that needs addressing and boomers have a problem in theirs. 

The good news is that while they keep recruiting more cops and breeding more males, boomers will eventually die out.

Let me go a little further on the topic of baby boomers, in particular what is meant by that term.

The broadest definition is anyone born between 1946 and 1964; '64 being the year when (a few young teen outliers excepted) the first baby boomers began marrying and starting families of their own.

While I agree all boomers were born within that 18 year period, I don't think everyone born between 1946-64 is a boomer, certainly not what I consider the core of the boomer generation.

To me, a boomer is a person -- 

Born between 1946-64 

In a family started after WWII

By a returning vet or someone who lost family & friends 

And were members of the white majority (by "white" I include Jewish American citizens, European refugees resettling in the US, and Hispanic / Latin citizens who lived in portions of the country where they were not discriminated against but accepted into the mainstream)

I include (2) because it seems to me kids born after 1946 into families with older siblings who remembered WWII had a reality check classic boomers lacked.

(4) is particularly important because these people did not see the end of WWII as a continuation of a struggle the way African-Americans, non-European refugees, and Hispanic / Latin citizens who faced discrimination did.

To white America, the end of the war was the end of the troubles, and having gone through the horror of WWII they didn't want to visit anything like it upon their children...which in and of itself is a worthy objective.

Non-white America, on the other hand, still had Jim Crow and hatred and prejudice to deal with on a daily basis, and while millions of children were born to them between 1946 and 1964, they were never spiritually part of the classic boomer generation.

The classic boomer was a white kid with a lot of toys. They were a generation raised with the implicit knowledge that they were the best people in the best country on Earth and as such entitled to all the nice things they enjoyed.

Their status was judged in no small part by their possessions, in particular name brands be they clothes or toys or cars or fast food restaurants.

As I posted elsewhere, boomers were strict conformists >until< conformity threatened to march them off into a futile jungle war in Asia. At that point (again, 1964 as the oldest boomers became eligible for the draft) they resisted the war and, in order to do so, also aligned or at least tacitly supported civil rights for African-Americans & other minorities, women's rights, and gay rights.

While each of those movements couldn't stand up to the establishment by themselves, united they could bring a lot of pressure to bear, serving as a force multiplier.

But the moment the Vietnam War ended, the boomers pretty much turned their backs on their former allies. 

Hunter S. Thompson summed up boomers perfectly in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:

“Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era—the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run . . . but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. . . .

”History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of “history” it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time—and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.

“My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights—or very early mornings—when I left the Fillmore half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed the big 650 Lightning across the Bay Bridge at a hundred miles an hour wearing L. L. Bean shorts and a Butte sheepherder's jacket . . . booming through the Treasure Island tunnel at the lights of Oakland and Berkeley and Richmond, not quite sure which turn-off to take when I got to the other end (always stalling at the toll-gate, too twisted to find neutral while I fumbled for change) . . . but being absolutely certain that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were just as high and wild as I was: No doubt at all about that. . . .

“There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. . . . You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . .

“And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting—on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .

”So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.” 

Look how boomers tacitly accepted segregation by fighting against "forced busing" then abandoning public schools for private "Christian academies" where non-whites were routinely excluded (until the feds stepped in an put a stop to that). Look how the ERA stalled out. Look how they let the AIDS crisis roar out of control instead of acting swiftly and compassionately.

Look how their love of money in the 1980s led to the destruction of labor unions (one of the chief reasons their childhoods were so pleasant) and the dismantling of American manufacturing just so they could save a few pennies on their plastic trinkets.

They gobbled up the pro-capitalist / anti-communist jingoism because the capitalists told them those gawdammed commies were going to take away their guns and God and make 'em share with "them" (whichever oppressed minority a particular boomer despised at the moment).

It's not that communism was better or worse, but thinking seriously about communism also meant thinking seriously about capitalism, and boomers by and large didn't want to think about anything but their toys.

Later generations learned / are learning the lessons the boomers as a whole so studiously avoided. I have a great deal of hope for this country as the millennials move into power, and as the white majority continues to decrease to the point where they will be one minority among many.

It'll be too late for the boomers, but hopefully their grandchildren will learn the true meaning of "e pluribus unum".

 © Buzz Dixon

[themattress]

Everything wrong with the series heroines’ scenes in Kingdom Hearts III

Because it is legit fascinating how horrendously sexist this game’s writing is.

SCENE: Kairi and Lea, post-Twilight Town

- "I'm training to become a Keyblade wielder like you".  Right off the bat, we have something wrong. Kairi apparently needs formal Keyblade training in order to be a “real Keyblade wielder’ like Sora and Riku. Except that Sora and Riku didn’t receive formal Keyblade training - it was just fine and dandy for them to pick up a Keyblade, start slinging it, and become a master at it through their adventures. But a GIRL doing the same? Oh no, we can’t have that!

- "That's right. No more waiting for you to come back from your adventures. I want to get out there and do my part to help."  This is bullshit, because this was a development that Kairi already made in KH2! Seriously, talk to her before entering the door to Kingdom Hearts and she outright said “I’m tired of waiting, from now on where one of us goes the other follows!” and the epilogue is framed as if Sora, Riku and Kairi will be going on an adventure together now. But then Nomura and Oka decided “NAAAAH!”, retconned this in BBS’ secret ending by having Kairi meekly agree to just wait behind for Sora and Riku again, and are continuing this degradation of her character here, where she only steps up when Yen Sid calls for her to.

- "I'll admit I was a little scared of him at first, but I've gotten to know him better. All he ever wanted was to help his friend. Honestly, it's hard not to like him." Fuck this. Axel didn’t want to help his friend, Axel wanted to help himself. Roxas, the friend he betrayed, made him feel like he had a heart. Axel wanted that feeling back, and was willing to harm Kairi and Sora to get it back. He was a selfish bastard, and this whitewashing of his character in order to pander to his popularity is disgusting, especially when at the expense of his past victim. The line given to her of “It’s hard not to like him” is especially wretch-inducing. I sure as Hell don’t like him!

- "It won't be easy, but I hope you'll remain the happy and cheerful Sora I know. There's no heart your smile can't reach." Schmaltzy, forced SoKai crap right here. Remember how good and subtle the writing in the original KH was? Where all Kairi needed to say was “Sora, don’t ever change” and that said SO MUCH about her character and her relationship with him?

- "But I won't send it. It's more for me. I just like talking to Sora, even if it's on paper." OK, now you’re just making Kairi and her feelings for Sora look pathetic. In KH2, when she couldn’t remember Sora, she still sent him a letter in a bottle that she wrote, having faith that it would reach him. And now I’m expected to believe she’s too shy to send a letter to Sora now?

- "You're sweat, Lea." God, I think I’m going to be sick!

- "Don't hold back, Lea. Promise?" A contrived line in order to use Kairi for Xion-related angst for Lea to go through. By that same token, Xion is also being used for a man’s development.

- "Call me Axel from now on."  This is so fucked up! A girl tells the older man who once kidnapped her that she’s not comfortable with his constant apologies. The man doesn’t respectfully stop, he instead tells his former kidnap victim that he’ll only stop doing this thing that makes her uncomfortable “one one condition” - that she begin calling him by the name she knew him by when he kidnapped her! WTF!? In what universe is this appropriate!?

SCENE: Aqua and the two Ansems, post-Monstropolis

- "Don't need it!" And thus begins Aqua’s degradation into a joke in this game - she attacks a powerful Heartless without her Keyblade, and shockingly is owned in two seconds flat and turned into a Darkling. There’s being brave, and then there’s being dumb. This...is dumb.

SCENE: Kairi and Lea, post-The Caribbean.

- "Now that she's a part of me again, I figured all was right. But she can't look at this forest, feel the wind on her face, none of it. And if she could, it would be different for her. Her time was short, but she lived it, and that makes it hers. What right did I have to take those feelings and experiences back? They don't belong to me. Nothing's as it should be. Not for her or Roxas."  FUCK THIS. This pisses me off so much. I loved the happy ending of KH2, including for Roxas and Namine. But now it’s been retconned so that it wasn’t a happy ending, that they didn’t retain their individuality from within Sora and Kairi despite what was clearly said and shown in KH2′s ending, and it’s a terrible fate that they must be “saved” from to end their “hurt”. And Kairi is now blaming herself for it - “what right did I have to take those feelings and experiences back”? Oh, I don’t know - maybe you had a right because Namine wanted it and fucking extended her hand to you so that she could rejoin with you!? Remember that!? I guess not, since otherwise the game would remember that it was said/shown that Namine would still exist and be able to experience things and keep hold of her own feelings and experiences. But that might create lots of bonding scenes between Kairi and Namine, and we can’t have that, can we? This series is all about the MALE bonding!

- "Well, you don't have to worry alone anymore, Axel." GAAAAAAAH!!!

SCENE: Anti-Aqua in the Realm of Darkness

- Just...everything. From Anti-Aqua being treated as a villain that must be defeated rather than reasoned with even when the entire breaking speech she gives to Mickey is objectively true and well-deserved, from Sora needing to beat the shit out of her in order to save her, and from the hollow “you’re home” callback to the KH2 ending, with Sora in place of Kairi (are they going for a Sora/Aqua pedophilia ship tease here?) and Kairi herself nowhere in sight, not being a part of rescuing Aqua despite being allegedly her counterpart in the Destiny Trio. At the end of KH2 and even at the end of this game’s opening FMV, we had Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, Donald and Goofy. Thus, Kairi’s absence is glaring (and not for the last time!)

SCENE: Castle Oblivion becomes Land of Departure again

- "Ven's expecting me. I promised to wake him. Said I'd be right back, but I'm not even close. I'm in for an earful." But Ven’s heart wasn’t in his body when you promised that! Why would he remember that promise or be expecting anything from you!? And the way you’re phrasing it (”in for an earful”) makes it sound as if you’re the child and he’s the adult! What the Hell!?

- "Why? Your heart never found its way home?" Did Sora really not tell her!?

- "Sorry, but you've seen me too weak, too often. Now it's my turn to shine." Where to begin? This notorious line is woodenly delivered right before a fight with Vanitas where Aqua is playable. She is saying it to Sora, basically admitting that this is a matter of ego and that she wants to show off in front of him (again, creepy pedophilic ship vibes here). Also, “you’ve seen me too weak, too often”? He literally just met you, and you were pretty damn strong when fighting him as Anti-Aqua! And after the playable fight is over, Vanitas blasts at Ven, Aqua jumps in front of the blast and has time to deflect it with her Keyblade or barrier magic...but she doesn’t, gets knocked out, and has to be saved by Sora and Ven. Weak!

- "Good morning, Ven." Wow, such an emotional reunion! (That’s sarcasm, btw.)

SCENE: Gathering at Yen Sid's Tower before the final battle

- Again, everything. Aqua and Kairi’s interaction is pathetically brief and only revolves around “Hey, remember when we met in BBS? That was a thing.” Plus bringing up the bullshit retcon of Aqua enchanting Kairi’s necklace, Mickey somehow not having pieced together that the little girl was Kairi until now, Lea whining that this talk is taking time away from him and his narcissistic entitlement complex, and more “Roxas and Namine need to be saved” crap.

SCENE: Land of Departure at night

- "It's like I've been part of some big adventure." This scene features Aqua and Ventus. But it’s only about Ventus, and his X connections. Aqua is nothing but a springboard for him.

SCENE: Paopu Tree on Destiny Islands

- "I want to be a part of your life no matter what. That's all." Except that Kairi already IS a part of Sora’s life no matter what. This has been true since the events of the original KH, where she inhabited his heart. The paopu sharing was never meant to be a literal thing to happen when it was conceived, it was symbolic, it was smart writing. This is dumb, and forced.

- "Let me keep you safe." This line isn’t going to have much payoff. In fact, between this and her dialogue in her letter at the very start, it’s sounding a lot like many a poor unfortunate shonen heroine who will pay lip service to getting stronger and helping the boys, and then ultimately proves useless when it comes down to it. Three guesses as to where this is going.

SCENE: Terranort appears

- EVERYTHING. The sheer incompetence displayed by Aqua and Kairi in this scene must be seen to be believed. Both of them have Keyblades, and neither of them use them. Unreal.

SCENE: Kairi brings Sora back

- "The light in the darkness. It was you. You're the one who kept me from fading away." Get it!? Because it’s like the first KH! Where Kairi was the light in the darkness who kept Sora from fading as a Heartless! And the scenery and music is literally straight from the scene where she showed him the memory of her grandmother’s story! ‘Member that fantastic scene? ‘Member? ‘MEMBER? Isn’t this coming full circle? Isn’t this poignant? (No. It’s not.)

- "I feel strong with you, Kairi." This line right here shows the big problem with Kairi in this game - she has nothing to offer for herself, she only has something to offer Sora. She is used for Sora’s role and development, as he says: to make him strong, all while she stays weak. 

SCENE: The Finale

- EVERY FUCKING THING. Larxene implies she was only part of the Organization because of her feelings for a man.  Aqua gets beaten by Terranort and has to be saved by Terra (which on it’s own wouldn’t be so bad, seeing as Sora and Ven are in the same boat, but it’s her last battle in the game after having lost all the other ones and she loses AGAIN). Kairi, after just half a battle as a party member, gets beaten by Xion and then kidnapped by Xemnas. Xion, who only shows up now, is again used as a prop for Lea, then gets beaten down by Xemnas and needs to be saved by Roxas, and then is a pitifully weak party member in the battle against Saix while Roxas is overpowered. Kairi is fucking killed by Xehanort in order to give Sora “proper motivation” and thus achieve his goal, meaning Kairi was more useful to the villain than to the heroes. Xion does nothing but say an out-of-left-field line about something she shouldn’t possibly know. Aqua is basically told by Eraqus that she shouldn’t have been named Master and that Terra should have (”Take care of them” - Eraqus to Terra about Aqua and Ven). Namine only shows up in the last seconds of the game, without any dialogue. And for the final slap in the face, Kairi is resurrected offscreen, only to lose Sora as a result of it.

Amazing. Literally every scene featuring these girls had something to demean them in it. KH3 is the absolute embodiment of the KH series’ woman problem. Hardcore fans can deny it all they want, they can accuse me of being a stupid hater or a killjoy or an SJW or what-have-you, but they cannot change the truth. And the truth is that Tetsuya Nomura is a sexist hack.

[qqueenofhades]

So after the spate of high-profile celebrity suicides recently, and the short-lived discussion of mental health that surrounds them (kind of like the way the gun control debate appears for a week after a mass shooting and then vanishes), I have had some probably disconnected thoughts that I finally felt like putting down somewhere (and honestly, I had most of this post typed up and then tumblr deleted it, so... round two and Fuck You Very Much Tumblr). I briefly thought about putting it on facebook, but a) fuck facebook, I’m barely on it anymore, and b) everyone that I care about is either or also here. So I guess it’s once more using the big blue hellsite as a diary, because I was awake until 1am last night talking to myself about this, and writing is how I work things out.

As ever, please do not feel obliged to read the post or whatever else, especially if you’re uncomfortable with the themes/subjects discussed. Again, it’s essentially for my own benefit and trying to organize things I’ve wanted to say, as a long-term sufferer of depression and anxiety who is also having a really tough time now, and how I see that reflecting on what’s happening both with me and the wider world.

Anyway.

I feel like my main reaction is one of weariness that so much of the response is “get help if you’re struggling! Reach out! Call someone! Things will get better!” Which is... helpful in its way, and I genuinely believe that the people reblogging suicide hotline numbers and “don’t kill yourself” posts and so on really want to help. I am not one to point fingers at anyone who really wants to reach out and do something to make a difference. But that’s also it? We’re barely getting to the place of recognizing depression as a legitimate problem and not stigmatizing people who have it (hah), but to me, it sounds so much like “well, I know you have two broken legs and can’t stand upright, but you should still go walk to the clinic and ask them to help you.” Again. Important. But why is so much of it centered around the assumption that the depression sufferer has the responsibility to go on an individual basis and try therapy or meds or whatever, while the mental health services that even exist are being slashed? While some people seem perfectly happy to talk about how mental health is the problem, and not readily legal assault rifles and a culture of white male entitlement and grievance), and the assumption remains that we can just treat depression on an individual, ad hoc basis, rather than looking at it systematically.

We’ve had a ton of studies and research showing that depression rates are way up, that a lot of people identify as having anxiety and mental issues and are messed up out the wazoo (which frankly, I think most of us are), and then the attendant “everyone’s a snowflake, buck up and take it on the chin!” backlash, because frankly the world is horrible and society sucks. (This opinion is sometimes subject to revision, but still.) Honestly, is this any surprise? When we’re in collapsing late-stage capitalism that has basically utterly fucked everyone born after 1980, we live in this awareness that things are systematically and unbearably evil and oppressive but the vast majority of us have no ability to do anything about that, and birth rates and marriage rates are declining because people (completely understandably) don’t want to bring children into this nightmare of a world and are realizing that traditional ideals of marriage and sexual morality are BS.... I mean, are we surprised that people just don’t want to live in this world anymore? When I find myself worrying about the idea of taking on another student loan (another of the basic commodities that it has become expected that you’ll go tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt for) and then am like, “well, there’s a less than zero chance that Western civilization collapses in my lifetime/the next ten years, and I’m going to die in debt anyway, so...”, there’s a sense of surreality and almost despondency that we’re able to know more than ever how shitty things are, but again, can’t do anything about it. Again. We can’t fix depression by telling people individually to go try therapy or whatever else. It doesn’t get at the reasons that so many of us just can’t stand the world anymore.

I feel like I’ve settled well on my belief that people, even if often beholden to centuries-old bullshit and tribalism and prejudice, are individually good, often amazingly and soul-sustainingly so (I’m not joking when I say that I would probably be dead by now if not for the kindness of strangers and friends, including many of you who I’ve met here), but society and the overall structure is pretty much rotten. We find ways to manage, to exist, to ameliorate, to distract, and I am honestly delighted for the people who can live more or less happy existences despite everything, have found a way to do that. Again, this isn’t a “don’t go to therapy!!” sort of post, because yes, if you’re depressed, you have to decide whether and how you want to get better. But sometimes you just can’t fucking do that. You just exist this way and you know how it is and it becomes sort of familiar and accounted for. 

I’m lucky to be a mostly high-functioning sufferer, who has lived with long-term and chronic depression and anxiety since at least the age of 18 (and probably, through most of my childhood as well), which has left me latently suicidal, physically fucked up, mentally exhausted, and emotionally isolated for my entire adult life. But I’ve also managed to hold jobs and complete several advanced degrees and get out of bed and put on makeup and keep my commitments and so on and otherwise outwardly resemble a normal person. So I then read posts about people who can’t get out of bed or even brush their teeth, and I start wondering if I “really” have depression or it’s just an excuse or I’m a weak person or just broken somehow else. Which is 0% helpful and is the bad brain talking, as I recognize. Looking at me from the outside, it feels like you wouldn’t guess, which also seems to be a theme with the celebrities who died. They always seemed happy and well put together and confident, until they didn’t. I turn 30 this August, and feel about 800.

And yet. I have made the choice to live, and I have continued to make the choice, and I have learned that I have a lot of strength I didn’t know I did, and I am proud of that. But I also read a post by someone I otherwise admire and whose work I really like, about how you can’t ever have the life you want until you take suicide off the table as an option, as if you can just choose once to live and not think about it again. And I just am like... how? I’ve made it before and I’ll have to do it again, but god, I wish with my entire heart that I could just make it once and not look back. I wish I could ever be confident that I could say without qualification that I want to live more than I want to die. Because well, I DON’T want to die, not really. I find things that make me happy and that give me small joys and distract me and which I enjoy. I still have a lot of things I want to do (even while feeling I won’t get the chance) and feel like it would be stupid to die because my brain doesn’t work. So I’m still here. I’ve never made a serious attempt to kill myself, and I obviously hope that doesn’t change. But it remains in the back of my head, the idea that I just wish I could switch off for five years and come back and find that things have somehow worked out. Which obviously is not the way it works, and you don’t get to temporarily go away. But this world is so hard and so tiring to live in, and sometimes it gets to me.

As for the getting help part -- I’ve been trying to do that myself recently. Go to counselling services and the university support centre and whatever else, even though it causes me anxiety to the point of physically messing me up. It feels like being drunk or hungover or just off balance and unable to see or breathe normally. I convulse in bed at night and wake up just as tired when I went to sleep and just don’t feel like I run correctly. And this is from a relatively high-functioning person who isn’t trying to stop herself (at least currently) from suicide, but just enough to keep her going. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a person depressed to the point of being unable to get out of bed, told to call someone or reach out or whatever else. That’s practically inhumane. We live, for better or worse, in a Western “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” culture that puts the onus on the individual to fix their own problems. When honestly, the collective society that exists right now is a toxic, oppressive, and impossible one that keeps chewing up people from every walk of life and which nobody with the actual ability to do anything about it seems to want to change. Encouraging individuals with depression to seek help is nice, sure. But until something fundamentally and permanently changes in society and how we view our obligations to each other and what we are willing to do to help and to change this culture that tells you you’re responsible for your own illness, people are going to keep dying from depression in droves, and everyone else is just going to figure we’re weak. Or there will be a short-lived mental health awareness campaign, and nice things will be said, and then it will be back to business as usual.  Because man, are we good at burying our heads in the sand for any number of things.

The choice to live doesn’t usually have the luxury of being made once and then never revisited. You have to do it yearly, monthly, weekly, sometimes even daily. And frankly, I don’t blame anyone who feels that the cost-benefit analysis doesn’t really add up to staying here anymore. I’m here certainly in part because of you here on tumblr, who have indirectly (and sometimes directly) saved my life. You have talked with me on text or email or in person for years, have read my fics and thought of things you wanted to tell me and sent me nice messages and otherwise made me feel less invisible. Your kindness has been often what has sustained me, and made me decide that I’d rather be here than anywhere else, and given me what little faith in humanity I have left. And one of the reasons I write all the time (books/fics/asks/metas/papers/theses/projects...etc) is because I literally cannot stand to live in my own head if I don’t. I do love creating things and am happy that people enjoy what I post here, and it’s a major source of pleasure and distraction for me. But I also do it because I will literally cease to function (in what limited capacity I have) if I don’t. I have to do it in order to live with myself and this monster at all, and that is also tiring. 

Overall, we’re all fucked-up people with a very dark sense of humor, whose compassion and conscience is about all we have going for us, and we just have to try to cling together and do for each other what we can. And god, I’m grateful for it. I have a lot of financial terror right now in addition to everything else, and am looking into the aforementioned student loan for short-term stabilizing (limited work rights are a Bitch), and I basically paid my rent last month because of you guys. So yeah, you’ve made the difference for a stranger on the internet being homeless or not, and I have no idea why, but please know that it means more to me than I can ever say, and I hope to give back what I can.

(I also still have a Kofi account, while I’m trying to get things under control here, so... again, entirely up to you.)

I’m not sure how I will make it to December and (supposedly, ha) my PhD graduation, let alone after that. I will probably have to choose to live again several more times between now and then, and then again after that. I hope I can continue to do that. And I hope I can talk to you, both if you need someone to listen and whatever I can do for you by that, and if I do the same.

If you’ve read all the way to the bottom, mazel tov. 

[a-broader--sensibility]

I am joining the rudefems today.

Anyways, I used to be a conciliatory nicefem, but I think this Rose McGowan video broke me. I hit peak trans a long time ago—in fact, I never really believed in it—and I’ve been a radfem for probably two years now, but I felt something break inside me today when I watched that video of the greasy pink-haired child molester yell at McGowan and like....I’m honestly completely finished with all trans activism and I feel no shame in correctly gendering every single male in the universe and I feel zero obligation to care about males harassing and even murdering other males, like they can work their own shit out between them. There are individual men in my life that I care for and love but I give zero shits about men as a political class and I hope all female handmaidens one day wake up and feel the bottomless pit of shame and humiliation you feel when you realize you’ve fallen for the long con, and you’re just a chump, a loser who fell for something because you were naive. And I understand and support that feminism is for all women, including women I personally dislike, including women that actively fight to sabotage women’s rights for individual personal gain, but I have no obligation to emotionally care about savage handmaidens to the patriarchy who would kick other women in the face for a scrap of male approval.

I hope all trans activism is one day shown up for the violent, misogynistic Orwellian mindfuckery bullshit that it is. I am not sorry. You can call me a bigot, transphobe, etc....I don’t care, I have my own mind and your dumbass spiritual politics of the magical soul are idiotic. To say that I “don’t believe in transgenderism” is the understatement of the year. Like, not only do I not believe in it but I actively despise the very theoretical foundations of religious obedience and male entitlement that underlie it. I know some rad fems still have the energy within them to be polite and have friendly debates with libfems and to make compromises with the trans community and say “I see where you’re coming from,” and I love those radfems and I support them but today I saw a video of a child rapist interrupt a rape survivor to yell at her for not dedicating her life’s work to his personal fetishes, and today multiple people I know on Facebook supported said child rapist and attempted to socially ostracize and humilate said rape victim for (God forbid) having an emotional reaction to being aggressively interrupted by a rapist while attempting to discuss her own experiences as a rape survivor. And I quit. LOL at anyone who thinks sending angry messages into my inbox will make me change my mind. LOL at women who still think trans fuckers will ever return 1/16th of the energy they put into catering to male fantasies. Bye, assholes. I’m done.

[its8simplejulesblog]

So I’m Supposed To Be Studying For An Econ Exam Right Now

But I just had to write this. Sometimes I feel like things that would normally be a priority to someone else should take the back burner when I feel like there is an important social issue that needs to be addressed. Today’s topic is a little bit sensitive. It’s a little bit scary and I don’t think this will be too detailed or graphic but I want to issue a trigger warning anyway because you just never know.

I want to talk about harassment.

I contemplated writing this post for a little while now just because I didn’t think it necessarily applied to me. We live in a man’s world. Everyone knows it. You’re taught it in school and it’s reinforced and confirmed in your everyday and social lives. I publicly say “I hate men” about at least 7 times a day just because I don’t know what else to say at this point (but I don’t truly mean it). Life is a game of power and men have it. It’s one of those things that is so deeply ingrained in universal society that there is no hope in it changing anytime soon (just being honest). However, as I grow up and look more inquisitively on the world I see this power play out in so many different ways and if we were to brush all of my jokes and nagging comments and eyerolls aside I have to say, quite frankly, that it’s scary. 

I am very much a feminist (in the traditional sense of equality, not the modern sense of putting men down). If you had asked me if I was about a year ago I would have also said yes, but I would have added a “but....” as to alleviate the implications that I was crazy and aggressive and trying to assert my female dominance and grind all men to a ridiculous pulp. It sounds stupid, but every time the word was introduced in a conversation all of the guys in the room would crack jokes or talk shit and if anyone knows me at all, the unfortunate truth is I’m constantly trying not to be the negative talk of anyone’s conversation, even if that means silencing myself. 

So, for the longest time I kind of stayed away from that word. That is, until my parent’s anniversary. On April 9th, 2020 my mom and dad and I sat down and watched their wedding video. We talked about all of the cute things my dad did for my mom and eventually my mom told me that instead of a bouquet she threw a remote to the women and my dad threw an apron to the men to just highlight how bullshit they thought gender roles were. I fell in love with the concept, and ever since then have been thinking more and more about how I should just say what I feel without the fear of being ridiculed by anyone. 

A woman’s role in society, the cooking and cleaning I get it..in fact, I really do enjoy doing those things. However, that fact is one small drop in the bucket when I consider what those implications mean. The women that fought for the right to vote, the women that are publicly shamed for speaking up about being raped by anyone let alone our fucking president. I know this blog was supposed to be a friendly and welcoming place but let me just say that it makes me shake with rage when I think about how frequently women are disrespected. 

I would be lying if I said this didn’t apply to me, so that’s why I needed to write this. I want to preface this part by saying that I have been so so so SO lucky to have been surrounded by so many amazing men my whole life. I’ve learned so much from them and some of them have turned into my best friends and I trust my dad and uncles and grandfather with my life. However, it has to be addressed that virtually every female in the world has been harassed or treated as less than in one way or another. I know that I’m not typically one for making vague claims like that, and I would rather whip out statistics, but I think that’s a claim I can make with absolute certainty. 

There’s a certain point where it’s not a joke anymore. I understand that miscommunication and misinterpretations are a thing. I understand that a lot of guys have good intentions that are incorrectly viewed, I get it. But a lot of the times...it’s not. I remember when the Me Too movement was at its peak and there were still men making jokes and not taking it seriously and I wanted to vomit. These are people’s sisters, daughters, friends. People that I’ve known since middle school that could do no wrong, people that are sweet and want nothing else than to see the good in everyone get taken advantage of all the time. I have not been raped, but everyday I live in fear that it could be me. 

The concept is unconditional. You don’t have to be conventionally pretty to be taken advantage of. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing at the time it doesn’t matter where you are it doesn’t matter if you think you know someone or not NO ONE deserves to be violated like that. I understand that harassment and sexual assault is not limited to women, but I feel the need to speak mainly on what I am familiar with. 

I was in New York with my family. We were walking through the streets of Manhattan and we walked through a group of men hanging out and they all whistled at me. My mom threatened to hit them with a flyswatter. 

I had a teacher in highschool who was particularly interested in our adherence to the dress code. In the middle of class he would make us stand up and touch our toes so he could measure if our skirts were too short. There were times when he called me out specifically and I was mortified. There was one day when I was sick and he called and asked to speak to me personally. He asked me if I was okay and taking care of myself and he made sure that if there was anything he could do that I should let him know. He asked me to be his TA the next school year, but before that could happen he was arrested. 

I dated a guy in highschool that cursed me out profusely when we broke up. He told me that I thought I was better than him and that I was trash and a loser. He couldn’t fathom the idea that I was capable of making my own choices.

The male mentors on my robotics team always talked over me. It was a miracle if I got a word in. Towards the end, I could finally hold my own, but it was a process. There were days when I would cry to my dad because I was trying so hard to prove myself. I told myself every day that the next day I wouldn’t cry in front of them because if I did they wouldn’t take me seriously. 

In Disney World I had a guy run up to me and ask for my snapchat because he thought I was pretty. I had never met him, we knew nothing about each other. It was supposed to be a compliment, but I felt objectified. 

I was at a frat party at UD. I was hanging out with my friends when a guy tapped me from behind and we started a conversation. He was a really nice guy, very sweet, but when my friends came back and told me they were about to leave I felt very trapped. The guy I was talking to seemed sad and he told them that they could leave and he would watch out for me. I thanked him, but went with my friends anyway and a few days later he stopped talking to me. 

I got cheated on because my ex was bored and had other options

I’ve now blocked 3+ guys on social media for constantly asking to hang out because I’m scared of how they’ll react if I say no. God forbid you reject a man. The second you do you’re called a fraud and told you’re not that pretty anyway and you’re selfish and not actually that great and are a waste of time. 

So no, no I wasn’t raped, but I have every reason to write this post. Fuck Brock Turner. Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck Bill Cosby. I could go on and on and on. This is not just a race war, this is people standing up to what they never could. Is the country in disarray? Yes, but I say, bring it on. I’m sick and tired of people making jokes about things that are serious problems. I’m sick and tired of men thinking they’re entitled to me. I don’t owe men SHIT. I shouldn’t be surprised when someone treats me right or opens a door for me or asks for my consent. How messed up is that that the bare minimum seems like a reward. 

So to the guys reading this: when I say, “I hate men” don’t get defensive, don’t say “not me though,” don’t make jokes. When I say I hate men I mean I hate the system that degrades me to nothing in their presence. I’m tired of feeling like a hero in my econ class because I’m the only girl speaking up. I’m tired of people assuming that I only work out cause I’m trying to impress someone. I’m tired of feeling like a failure because I feel uncomfortable and disrespected sending certain pictures fuck that. 

I know there are good guys out there, I do. I just wish there were more because there’s nothing quite like feeling constantly used. It really puts a damper on your image of yourself. 

I am not here to please anyone. I am not here for you, I’m here for me, and if I recognize that someone in my life is good for me then they will stay, otherwise, you can snip snip yourself out of my life. I’m not a piece of meat. I have thoughts and feelings and I can have intellectual conversations and I can use power tools and solve math equations and I’m not an idiot and I’m not a toy so I refuse to be treated like that ever again. 

I used to be afraid to say that I was a feminist, but now I can say so with absolute confidence and if you’re a male that’s uncomfortable with that then good, think about what that means. Men ARE smarter and more capable after all, right? 

[the-desolated-quill]

Closing Time - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Today is a double whammy for me. Not only did I have to sit through another episode written by transmisogynist and arsehole Gareth Roberts, but the obnoxious James Corden is back too. Dear God, where’s the cyanide when you need it?

You may recall I wasn’t very fond of The Lodger (and it had nothing to do with the fact that Gareth Roberts is a bigoted fuckhead, though I admit that did give me added incentive to rip his piece of shit episode apart), so you can imagine I wasn’t looking forward to Closing Time.

So how was Closing Time? Was it as bad as The Lodger? Well it may surprise you to learn that I didn’t think this was as bad as The Lodger at all. No. It was actually WORSE than The Lodger.

Yes, not only did Closing Time contain all the things I hated about the previous instalment, but it also dragged my all time favourite Who baddies the Cybermen down with them as an added insult. I’ve always loved the Cybermen. Granted not every story featuring them are good, but they’ll always hold a special place in my heart due to their huge potential. They’re infinitely more interesting than the Daleks in my opinion, who often come across as a bit one note, and they’re arguably Doctor Who’s most socially relevant and timeless monsters. (In fact I once wrote a whole post explaining why the Cybermen are the best monsters in the whole of Doctor Who and why you should think that too. I’ll put a link here if you’re interested in reading it. It’s one of the first ‘Scribbles’ I’d ever written, so it’s a bit rough around the edges and a little soppy looking back, but I think it gets my point across). So it really hurts when I see them get horribly mistreated like this. They’re pretty much confined to the background while Matt Smith and James Corden are faffing around being unfunny, and they’re painfully ineffectual here. It’s one thing to have the Cybermen be beaten by the power of love, but having the power of love be so powerful that a crying baby can reverse a Cyber conversion? Are you taking the fucking piss?!

What’s worse is that Gareth Roberts decides to resurrect one of the more embarrassing parts of the Cyber mythos:

The Cybermats.

Yeah, I’ve never liked them. And just for the benefit of @captainivyb and others who have never watched the classic series, here’s what the original Cybermats looked like:

Sigh.

I mean I love the Cybermen, but even I can’t defend these. They’re just so silly. And honestly, I think the Doctor Who production team were just as embarrassed by them as I was, hence why they seemed to overcompensate in the Doctor Who spinoff books and audio dramas by implying that these cute and adorable looking Cybermats are actually composed of the body parts and internal organs of rodents, babies and small children.

The words ‘tonally confused’ leap to mind.

The main problem I’ve always had with the Cybermats is that, no matter how hard you try, these ‘silver rat things’ aren’t scary. Not even remotely. They’re at best cute and at worst unintentionally hilarious. Either way, they’re not very threatening, and these new Cybermats are definitely not threatening. In fact Roberts undermines them even further by giving them chattering teeth. That whole sequence with Craig wrestling a Cybermat on the kitchen floor was just utterly cringeworthy. I despair at the number of people who’s only experience of the Cybermen is this. I swear they’re a lot better than this. You’ve just caught them on an off day. Look, let me recommend some good, classic series Cyber stories for you. There’s The Tenth Planet, the first ever Cyber story. That’s very frightening. There’s The Invasion, which explores the impact of capitalism and technological advancement on modern society. Bit camp and OTT, but really entertaining. Finally I’d recommend the Big Finish audio drama Spare Parts, which explores the origins of the Cybermen and is in my opinion the best Cyber story ever written.

Outside of the Cybermen, I don’t really have much else to say about Closing Time. As I said, all the problems with The Lodger are here too. Just as The Lodger contains all the tired old jokes and cliches you’d often find in a really bad romcom, Closing Time contains all the tired old jokes and cliches you’d often find in a really bad sequel of a really bad romcom. Namely the clueless everyman trying to cope with unexpected fatherhood. It’s boring, not remotely funny and James Corden is an utter tit. Please stop trying to convince me he’s likeable or charming. It’s not working.

I suppose I should be grateful for small mercies. At least the story doesn’t focus too much on Craig. Part of the reason i found The Lodger so insufferable (apart from the James Corden factor) was because Craig was a childish little prick that represented the very embodiment of male entitlement. By the time I got to the end of that episode and Craig’s shitty little love story, I was praying my spleen would burst. Here Craig is just tagging along for the ride, so he’s slightly more tolerable. Although it does mean you could replace him with a mop and it wouldn’t make any difference. In fact one could argue the episode would improve dramatically if Craig had been replaced with a mop. That way we would be spared of James Corden’s gurning and shrieking.

Craig: “Metal rat, real mouth! Metal rat, real mouth! Metal rat, real...”

Oh yeah. Matt Smith is annoying too. Just like last time, he’s been forced to ramp up the goofiness for no other than reason than just for the sake of being goofy. Why does the Doctor sprinkle pepper on Craig randomly? Why is he so obsessed with his name tag? How can he talk to babies or shush people with the power of his mind? How can he be confused by the idea of someone moving house? He’s alien, but he’s not that alien. What’s worse is that Roberts takes it one step further and turns the Doctor into this really patronising nobhead. He talks to Craig and everyone like they’re fucking children, even down to the whole shushing thing, and at one point says that the reason he takes humans with him on his adventures is so other aliens will be more inclined to talk to him like when a parent takes their baby out for a walk. What kind of condescending bullshit is this?!

But as much as I despise Closing Time, I always like to give credit where it’s due. Admittedly there’s one scene I liked and that’s when the Doctor talks to the baby. Oh no, I don’t mean all the Stormageddon crap. I wouldn’t even wipe my arse with those scenes. I’m talking about the scene where the Doctor describes all the wonders of the universe and the things you have to look forward to in life before showing the baby what real stars look like. It’s a very touching scene that  stands out in the sea of dross, perfectly demonstrating the Doctor’s view of life and the universe around him. In fact had they have toned the obnoxious goofiness down a notch and focused more on this bittersweet nostalgia trip the Doctor goes on before his impending death, I’m confident I would have enjoyed Closing Time a lot more. His final scene where he says goodbye to those children outside of the TARDIS packed more of an emotional wallop than the rest of Series 6 combined.

Sadly this is all somewhat undermined by the fact that we know the Doctor isn’t really going to die. And I’m not just saying that with the benefit of hindsight. Did anyone at the time truly suspect the Doctor was going die? Really?

Anyway, the episode ends with Moffat’s series arc shuffling into view. River Song gets bundled into the spacesuit while Eye Patch Lady sings that shitty nursery rhyme from Night Terrors. Poor Alex Kingston. Nobody could make a scene as awkwardly dreadful and as dreadfully awkward as this work. It’s all so utterly, fucking...

No. No Quill. Save your anger for the next review. You’re going to need all your energy for that one.

[bibliophileiz]

Supernatural “War of the Worlds” Review Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Tolerate b*cklemming

These people are far from my favorite writers on the show (that would be Berens, Glynn and Yockey, the last of whom wrote my two favorite episodes) but every time an episode they wrote airs I want to dissect all the good and bad of it anyway, and this is no exception. This is I think their third episode in a row I’ve felt the urge to review. I think it’s a coping mechanism to help me tolerate these episodes.

This was not b*cklemming’s worst episode – I still think that was the one in which Eileen died – but it was not great either. It’s watchable, don’t get me wrong. But we’ve had a string of stellar episodes this season except for two. Two. And they were both written by this duo.

Unequivocally bad things about this episode:

- Who the FUCK decided to put b*cklemming in charge of apocalypse world? There do indeed appear to be no women, period. I kept hoping the creepy hunter who attacked Mary in their last episode only thought there were no women because all the women around had the good sense to avoid him, but … nope. It appears he was right. The whole apocalypse place looks like the cast of Lawrence of Arabia with a darker aestetic.      Either mittensmorgul or elizabethrobertajones (I can’t remember which and the post is too far back for me to find but both have excellent blogs!) pointed out this just keeps b*cklemming from writing creepy rape scenes all over apocalypse world, which is a fair point. However, b*cklemming has written plenty of problematic sexually violent stuff victimizing male characters, albeit usually being victimized by women (April to Cas, Toni to Sam). Also it just generally irks me when an otherwise well-written show suggests women can’t survive harsh circumstances. I know they have to stay on Supernatural, but someone please keep this pair away from Wayward Sisters. - Asmodeus sucked only marginally less in this episode than when he was introduced, and that’s only because he had the suckiest introduction of anyone in this show. He. Is. Still. Awful. I can’t believe the show is going to waste the Keeping-Cas-Locked-Up-In-Hell story line I’ve been waiting for on this assclown of a villain. - AU verse Kevin Tran is like … I would say Diet Kevin Tran except I usually like diet drinks better than their counterparts, so I guess it’s more like … Vegan Chocolate Kevin Tran. I can see the resemblance, but the original has more flavor and more richness and doesn’t work for genocidal war criminals just to see hot women. My theory before this episode aired was Kevin’s a double agent for a group of hunters who have formed a resistance, led by Asa Fox and, eventually, Mary Winchester, and if we ever get an apocalypse episode written by Berens or Glynn, I might even be proved right (about the double agent part. The Asa Fox part is a stretch, I realize this). In the meantime, this was a total waste of the character. - Did b*cklemming just forget the show is about Sam? He had that one scene with Ketch which is super forgettable. In all his other scenes, he was just kind of there. It was like they were writing and would occasionally say, “We need to give Dean’s sidekick a line now.”

Good Things (several of which have nothing to do with b*cklemming)

-Cas’ sex hair is back. - I didn’t hate the Cas-Lucifer team up as much as I expected to. In fact, I thought the scene between them at the bar was the best in the episode. I unequivocally hated the way these writers – really all the writers – wrote Lucifer last season, but b*cklemming actually wrote some of my favorite Lucifer material in the entire show. Specifically I’m thinking of Lucifer (as played by Misha Collins) telling Amara she may defeat God but she will never be him – not a Lucifer redemption moment by any means, but certainly a moment where he gets to be something other than an entitled brat. It shows even though he hates God, he also admires him. You also see this in his reaction to finding out Kelly’s pregnant. She said he was excited because it was the first time he created anything, which I remember thinking was a really in-character reaction to have. This explains why he’s so interested in whatever Cas has to say about Jack too.      However, I don’t want my enthusiasm for dad!Lucifer to be taken as me wanting a redemption arc for this fucker, because I don’t. I don’t hate the idea of him almost being redeemed. We the audience are sympathetic to Jack, and once Jack realizes he can be good, he’s going to want to redeem his father, Luke Skywalker-style. I like the idea of Jack trying to “save” Lucifer – “There is still good in him, I know it!” – and for Lucifer to kind of go along with it until something happens and Lucifer reveals himself to be as entitled and jealous and petty and power-hungry as he’s always been, and then Sam and Mary or maybe Cas get to kill him. If we’re sticking with the Star Wars parallels, then I want it to be like the moment Han Solo offers Kylo Ren a second chance and Kylo stabs him instead. I like Lucifer, but at the end of the day, fuck him. - Related, I also didn’t hate Mark Pellegrino. He’s never been a bad actor, he’s just been a shallow one, but that’s the material he had to work with. When he has decent lines and isn’t smirking around evil-for-the-sake-of-evil dialogue, I find I want to punch him less.      More specifically, he did a good job posturing while also showing the audience he is terrified without all his power. That little flinch when Asmodeus enters the bar, before he pretends to relax and starts casually threatening Asmodeus, was great. - We finally got acknowledgement the universe is running out of angels. - Guys. Rowena might still be alive. If Ketch is alive and Rowena isn’t, I might stop watching this show. - Cas’ sex hair is back. -Speaking of Cas, I was concerned he wouldn’t tell Dean he was working with Lucifer because he thought Dean would be mad or because he would want Sam and Dean to stay away because danger or because Lucifer talked him out of it or some bullshit like that and it would be last season all over again. I’m so, so glad they didn’t go that route even though it means we get more shapeshifting (voiceshifting?) Prince of Hell nonsense. - Lucifer calling Asmodeus the runt of the litter made me feel better. At least b*cklemming admit theirs is the worst Prince of Hell. - “Honey, you’re not Lucifer. My ex-husband’s Lucifer.” - Did I mention Cas’ sex hair is back? - I liked the witch and on the one hand wish she’d had more to do but on the other hand am worried b*cklemming would have killed her if she had another scene. - When Asmodeus referenced a hunter in his payroll, I thought, ‘I bet it’s David Haydn-Jones.’ I love being right. - Dean asking if Ketch’s tattoo was a stick-on. - The shots at the playground are all beautiful. Good job Richard Speight, Jr.! - The fight scenes are. So. Good. - Seriously. Cas’ sex hair. It’s back.

Questions I have

- Where did Lucifer get that jacket? - Why do the demons call Jack “the Jack”? - How does Ketch know Sam and Dean are looking for Jack? Sam said he reached out to “every hunter we know” but firstly, how many of those are left that aren’t dead and secondly, who of them knows Ketch but doesn’t know he’s evil? - How does Lucifer know Kevin? I thought he was locked up during Kevin’s story line.

Now let’s talk about Ketch.

I’m so used to bad writing from this pair, I didn’t even see the Ketch reveal coming. Based on their not-great track record, here is a list of things b*cklemming would totally do: - Write a less-evil twin for a dead character. - Have Ketch torture and kill a bunch of witches – to find Rowena – so he can find and kill her – because she’s a witch. - Have Arthur Ketch’s less-evil twin Alexander Ketch still ask about Mary even though he’s never met her. - Look like they’re about to give Ketch a redemption arc.

So I totally bought it. 

Like … good job? Good for them for fooling me by being, like, the lowest bar of competent. It’s sort of like how I spent all of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince thinking Malfoy couldn’t be up to anything because he’d spent the five previous books showing up way too often to make the same bad jokes about Harry and Co. over and over. It’s not as good as writing well the first time, but points for improving.

And at first I was excited because I thought – and still think – Ketch will make a much better villain when not loaded down with Men of Letters baggage because the Men of Letters were cartoonishly stupid and Ketch was actually threatening when not anywhere near them. But … where are they going with this?      k-vichan pointed out this episode undoes both Mary’s victories from last season – knocking Lucifer into AU World and killing Ketch. Which is typical b*cklemming. To be fair, we knew Lucifer had to come back, but what could they possibly do with Ketch they haven’t already done? His villain arc ended perfectly – Mary killed him in defense of Dean. That was literally the best way he could have possibly died. It was the cathartic, climactic moment of last season’s emotional arc.      I’ve seen some people suggest Dean will get to kill Ketch now and – no. No. Killing Ketch was always going to be Mary’s victory, and I’ll be disappointed in the show and the writers if they take that away from her. 

All in all, a mixed bag of an episode. Which is disappointing after a string of nothing but good episodes this season from everyone but b*cklemming. (Ish. I’m afraid we may not be looking at the cowboy episode rationally. I’m going to have to wait until Netflix gets the new season and watch it again and decide then if I’m being rational about liking it or if I’m just excited about Dean’s cowboy hat and Cas’ fake western accent.) But next week we’re back to Glynn and then Berens and then Wayward Sisters, so hopefully it’s a long time before we have to deal with this nonsense again. Meanwhile, here are some things I want out of future episodes.

- Kevin being cool again. - Mrs. Tran. - Mary Winchester. - (louder for the people in the back) MARY WINCHESTER! - Rowena. - Dean figuring out the Cas he’s talking to on the phone is not Cas. - AU Resistance leader Asa Fox - Something cool in apocalypse world other than a church Jerry Wanek built. (Good job Wanek, I’m so sorry it couldn’t be in a better episode.) - Maybe some other AU resistance versions of characters like Bela Talbot (unlikely but a girl can dream), Godron Walker (AU Resistance Gordon Walker would be awesome!), Ellen Harvelle (bonus points if she and Bobby are married), Jo Harvelle (acceptable if they can’t get Ellen), FemCastiel (bonus points if she also ends up in Real World and meets Sam and Dean and Dean’s like, “Who’s the hot angel?” and she’s like, “My name is Castiel,” and Sam starts laughing and Dean’s like, “Fuck, I hope Chuck’s not making this one into a book.”)

[groundramon]

Cartoon asks: ALL OF THEM

THANK YOU SO MUCH OMFG

also i totally didnt fill all these out in advance and twiddle my thumbs in anticipation, hoping someone would send me this ask, nope not at all                 

1. A cartoon you remember that nobody else does.Back at the Barnyard.  That fucking show…oh my god

2. A cartoon you like but nobody else seems to.Well technically I remember liking Back at the Barnyard but I haven’t watched that show since I was like 8 or 9 so idk if I’d like it now akjsfkfkgjh I kinda doubt it now because my bullshit-tolerance-meter for television has significantly shortened.  Uhhh the only other cartoons I can think of that I liked that don’t seem to be liked by a lot of people are like…the DreamWorks cartoons (when they were on Nickelodeon and CN that is, I don’t have Netflix rip) and the Lego cartoons (except Ninjago because apparently that has a fandom?? what??) like I thought they were okay at the time at least.  (Also I guess the HTTYD cartoon wasnt hated, because it was fucking HTTYD, but //shrug)

3. A cartoon you don’t like but everybody else seems to. ADVENTURE TIME and like everything on Cartoon Network except Steven Universe and We Bare Bears honestly.  Like Adventure Time isn’t my cup of tea but I’m like “alright, some of those plots actually seem kind of interesting, I guess I can see where people are coming from” but like… shit like Clarence and Uncle Grandpa??  I’m all for people having different opinions but I don’t know how you can even get past the art style, let alone the writing style and some of the voice acting ;-; you are a stronger person than I’ll ever be if you can get past that lmao

4. A cartoon you wish would be forgotten.Uhhh pretty much everything on Nickelodeon from 2010-2014 (besides the dreamworks cartoons basically) and the shit reboots that CN’s been pumping out (namely TTG and the PPG reboot, but the Ben 10 reboot looks REALLY lazy, so at least it doesn’t annoy me [or I haven’t seen anything from it that annoys me] but…)

5. The worst cartoon you’ve ever seen, and why?Fanboy and Chum Chum, as far as cartoons I’ve actually watched go (because hoo boy, worse cartoons exist out there).  Everything about that cartoon is…wrong and broken.  It has one style of humor and that’s toilet/gross out humor.  The “straight man” so to speak, basically an emo teen version of Squidward, is actually…not Squidward in-show??  Like in the intro he’s very clearly set out to be a grouch who hates the main characters, but in the show he’s just…an introvert that gets wrapped into their plans and only snaps at them when they actually hurt him.  The protagonists are annoying as fuck and are psychopaths that deserve to be locked up in a mental institution.  It’s not funny.  The voice acting is annoying as hell.  And the animation is disgusting.  I didn’t know it was even possible to make 3d animation look this rendered yet still look so bad, but apparently it is.  Like they took extra effort into making the show look WORSE.  I will say that its impressive that they managed to get such tooney designs to exist in a 3d space, but that doesn’t do you shit good when the animation is gross.

6. The worst moment you’ve ever seen happen in a cartoon.Directly, as in I was watching the show?  Something in Fanboy and Chum Chum.  Indirectly, as in I watched a review where they showed the scene or I read about it?  Something in Family Guy, or the self-insert in the PPG reboot.  Yeah there’s a self-insert in the PPG reboot.  Every time I think it cant get worse…it does.

7. The worst thing you’ve ever seen happen to a cartoon that ruined it.I was really neutral on Teen Titans Go (some of the jokes made me laugh but others were really cringey, but it was at least funny some of the time and the art didn’t hurt me as much as other shows on CN, so whatever) but then I found out that they’ve actively attacked their critics in-show and have generally responded very poorly to criticism and…asdf.  Like its one thing to stay quiet, it’s another thing to embrace it and say “yeah we know its stupid, but it made us laugh!” (which they did do, kinda), but it’s another thing to spit in the face of everyone who has a problem with it (and not even address their criticisms, like they act like they did but?? no they fucking didn’t??).  Like the problem I have with the show is not that it’s stupid.  The problem is that the writers say “yeah, it’s for kids, so it should be stupid” (its not even “well it made us laugh” from what I remember), the problem is that the writers never watched the original show and completely ruined the legacy of a show that actually took itself seriously, the problem is that the writers are so fucking high on their horses that they respond to the haters IN-SHOW and LAUGH AT THEM.  My problem is not with the show itself, my problem is with the culture it embodies.  It embodies the worst of Hollywood entitlement, cheap shithole cashcow shows, cheap reboots that disappoint fans of the original, “stupid because its for kids” cartoons, and basically the worst Hollywood has to offer.

8. A cancelled/forgotten cartoon you would bring back to television.Uhh if nothing happens with Infinity Train then that, but besides that…another series of Avatar (like following a new avatar) would be fucking great but I don’t want to put the creators through the hell that is Nickelodeon lmao.  I also thought Harvey Beaks looked nice, like I never watched it but it looked okay, so I’d be okay with bringing that back too if it made the creator happier (honestly the poor creator…nickelodeon treated him really badly too)

9. An animated character you remember but nobody else seems to.Pete from Steven Universe lmao like where did he goJoking aside (SU is too relevant to count for this) uhHHH fuck I guess the characters in the Monsters vs Aliens cartoon? nobody remembers that movie but the show kinda cemented the characters in my mind (I would’ve said back at the barnyard but honestly I don’t remember the characters until you show them to me, besides like the main cow guy, whoops)

10. An animated character you hate the most, and why?Onion annoys me.  Like…he’s that kind of character that has no rhyme or reason behind what he does.  He’s the kind of character whose entire personality just relies on the kind of Adventure Time-esque humor that I just don’t get or enjoy.  The kind of humor that just creeps or grosses me out or bores me instead of making me burst out laughing.  The kind of humor that’s physical-based, but just too slow and poorly paced to be funny like slapstick.  I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s exactly how Onion seems to me and that’s why I dislike Onion.  In Doug Out, for example, Onion has no gross out or creep out jokes, and I don’t mind him as much.  Like he’s not a GOOD character, he still doesn’t bother insisting that there’s something else out there when the others disagree with him, but at least he isn’t scaring me.  OH AND MARCUS FROM DIGIMON DATA SQUAD I immediately thought Onion because he’s a cartoon character, but since this is just for animation in general…aksdhfgfkj i dont know why I hate Marcus so much, I dont want to hate Marcus so much, but I do.  His response to everything is just to punch everything and he’s so entitled and annoying and hotheaded and aAAARG HES JUST INFURIATING, I DIDNT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO BE THIS MAD OVER A CHARACTER THAT ISNT FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN BUT HERE I AM

11. A non-animated property you would like to see as a cartoonidk if this counts because it’d have to be an anime probably but FOSSIL FIGHTERS CHAMPIONS!!! LITERALLY I WOULD CRY IF THIS WAS MADE INTO A MANGA OR ANIME PLEASE @ NINTENDO MY FAMILY IS STARVING but seriously can you imagine like….you could have a mute main character (its implied that the protagonist talks a few times but they could be selectively mute or just mime and the dialogue could be rearranged appropriately) and if you choose the female protagonist you could make her gay for Pauleen??? Like I refuse to accept the male protagonist as the “canon” main character bc I want gay sorry.  BUT LIKE!!!  You wouldn’t have to write that much bc its already written!! and its really fucking ridiculous and would probably appeal to like…TTG-loving kids because its so silly asdf BUT ITS ALSO GOOD, IT HAS HEART, PLEASE THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA like its not a good idea for manga/anime because it IS kinda ridiculous and childish but?? it would fit so well as a western cartoon???  Hey Nintendo can you please give me a license to produce this because I swear to god I would if I could

12. A trope or trend in animation that you dislike.Well there are a lot but they aren’t exclusive to animation…?  "Blonde popular bitch" and “damsel in distress” have been two of my personal most-hated for all my life because of who I am/was, but there are others I dislike too.  I also really hate the kinda…style that Adventure Time set up in cartoons.  Like I guess AT isn’t really responsible for ugly-looking cartoons and the type of humor that I dislike, because looking at CN before it aired there were already shows like that (Chowder, Flapjack…) but I think AT really popularized them and :/ it also reworked the same concepts in Chowder and Flapjack and people were like “WOWEE CARTOON RENAISSANCE !!!” and I just kinda….idk.  I have a lot of personal baggage against AT lmao sorry AT fans, like I don’t even hate the show and not all of its effects were bad (not in the slightest) but like TTG I have issues with some of the things it popularized.

13. A currently airing cartoon that you know is going to be forgotten about in the future.Hmm, We Bare Bears maybe, or like Mighty Magiswords.  Like CN plasters Mighty Magiswords everywhere but nobody gives a shit about that show so I feel like its only a matter of time before it disappears yknow?? but maybe im wrong.  WBB doesn’t get the attention it deserves so yeah.  Also maybe that Bunsun is a Beast cartoon over on Nickelodeon? im not sure man

14. The best episode of a cartoon you really like.The Southern Raiders (that’s only one of my favorites tho, like?? The Puppetmaster is tied for first in that season, and that’s just in that season, not including the other two seasons of ATLA)

15. The worst episode of a cartoon you really like.Rocknaldo or any episode centering around Onion, e u c k

16. A cartoon you feel deserves more recognition than it gets.Uhhhhh fuck everything I watch is mainstream cries WBB isn’t that popular and like its a cute, perfectly fine show, but its not like…revolutionary

17. A cartoon you feel deserves less recognition than what it gets.ADVENTURE TIME, also s/o to Regular Show, Clarence, Uncle Grandpa…like those last two aren’t even universally liked but sorry I still think they get too much praise asdf

18. The worst idea you can think of for an animated series.It already exists and its called One Ounce Mouse, but honestly adult cartoons in general are…a bad idea.  Like if you’re just gonna use your adult rating to offend people instead of using it to be insightful or using it to be ACTUALLY FUNNY, what the fuck are you doing with your life?  You should be fired tbqh

19. At what point did you realize a cartoon, any cartoon was starting to get bad?I can’t remember when I realized SpongeBob was starting to get bad, but it was sometime around 2010 or so.  I remember getting really sick of the show when it went to HD/fullscreen because for some reason, all the new character designs got…significantly worse??  Like the season premiere of that season (cant remember which season it was, don’t care to look it up) had three new characters and they all looked…so fucking ugly?  It was really hard to look at?  Like seriously they looked like something out of Sanjay and Craig, not SpongeBob.  Even the main character designs just…looked too smooth and rounded and not good to me.  It reminds me of like Family Guy and i dont like that overly smooth, “we have too much money so we blew it on extra in-between frames instead of good-looking art” style.  I think the final breaking point for me was Squid Baby and the episode where Gary got overly attached to a ball, and realizing that after an episode that actually was kinda legitimately nice (it was the one about Plankton getting a pet) they were never going to bring up Plankton’s pet again and ugh.  Like lack of continuity is nothing new but I really wish he had kept the pet, it was the best thing to happen to the show in literal years.  Like seriously that episode was the best new episode in years, it was legitimately cute even though I had a beef with some of the character designs (as I always did in that season)

20. An experience with a cartoon you thought you were going to like but turned you away from it.I tried watching Bee and Puppycat the other day and it really….put me off….because it had more of that Adventure Time style humor and I legitimately thought it interfered with how the plot should’ve progressed.  Like Bee was way too okay with everything and we didn’t get any explanation for anything because instead she just made weird noises and bit a monster’s tongue off.  I’m still gonna watch the other episodes for the heck of it, so maybe I’ll change my mind, but eh

21. Something you would like to see more than anything in a cartoon.It already exists and it’s called Avatar: The Last Airbender + The Legend of Korra

22. What do you feel makes a cartoon forgettable?That’s….actually a really good question.  Because like, I would’ve forgotten about Adventure Time years ago if it hadn’t been drilled into my head that everyone else thought it was the best thing ever and I didn’t.  I might be off my SU high by now if I didn’t keep reblogging/reading SU-related stuff on tumblr lol.  I guess blandness is what makes your cartoon forgettable.  If its not so bad that it’s funny/everyone needs to insult it, but its not good enough that it gets good reviews, then there’s just…no place for your cartoon, especially if its not profitable so it gets cancelled quickly.

[elvencantation]

infinity war liveblog:

hey killing the last asgardians is super rude!

omg netflix calls thanos an ‘intergalactic sociopath’. the name of my new band 😂

awww poor bruce

also when will they stop hurting my space golden retriever he’s already lost his dad and his home and his eye

this movies just gonna be all actions, isn’t it?

damn thanos is so ugly

‘i consider experience experience’ ok loki. this is the point at which i just turn off the audio because of second hand embarrassment

i know he’s gonna die and i’m not ready for it!!!! like poor heimdall already was sad tho i’m happy he sent bruce home

i admire ur spirit loki but do u really think one tiny dagger will go against two infinity stones? or is it just a last ditch effort because you won’t go down without a fight... which i understand

STOP. HURTING. THOR. CMON ITS SO FUCKING SIMPLE

i mean i feel bad for loki obv but like- i can’t get over the fact that thor has to watch everyone die

yikes why did they need to make his death so graphic

WOULD YOU FUCKING STOP HURTING THOR GODDAMNIT. STOP MAKING HIM WATCH AS THE PEOPLE HE LOVE DIE (i know this is like the entire point of this movie but whatever)

i havent seen strange’s movie so im probs missing quite a lot about him. but i like his sentient cloak that somehow also gives him a cool outfit

okay now im gonna start getting mad about them hurting tony he’s also been in a lot of shit and him and pepper are being all adorable and dear god stop saying ‘no surprises’ so much ur jinxing urself

oooooooooo im loving the star wars style universe projection all around you storytelling bit. very pretty

tony would you stop insulting people at random. this is why i dont like you

god poor bruce he’s seen thanos firsthand and hes just hardcore panicking which i SO understand

i need strange and tony to stop trying to one up each other this is supposed to be a team effort where are the guardians of the galaxy when you need them?

awww bruce im sorry u cant get hulk to come out hes probably still upset at you about the whole.... ragnarok thing? god i miss that movie right about now taika waititi save us from this bullshit

‘wong youre invited to my wedding’ oh man mood i do love a good beaming someone to a desolate ice planet

love that tony has a suit ready for peter thats fuckin adorable

man i feel bad for bruce ‘im going to make a call’ among wizards and people with robot suits and shit

omg yes the guardians i missed them

‘its like a pirate had a baby with an angel’ oH MY GOD MY FAVORITE LINE

aaaand here comes the alpha male bullshit again just STOP IT QUIL NOBODY CARES. this is what i never liked about the avengers, they were always fighting in some way, never really a team except by necessity

on the other hand, rocket and thor’s banter gives me life

wanda calls him vis!!! too cute

and it surprises nobody that wanda is my favorite avenger

ITS STEVE MY BABY. and sam omg yes

oh god what is nat’s hair doing 

oh no its a gamora flashback isnt it

okay the reality stone is gonna give me nightmares

i know this is not the time but zoe saldana looks gorgeous with that lighting on her curly hair.... 💖

IM SO EXCITED TO SEE SHURI AGAIN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY 

also peter is adorable and i need him to meet shuri. peter’s reaction to the suit by the way is the most precious thing ever (sidebar, but wasnt peter an adult in the infinity war comic? cause it would make much more sense for him to be involved as an adult rather than a TEENAGER)

and then tony and strange ruin it all again with their stupid annoying posturing

ugh i really go through this cycle of being bored and wanting the next part to happen and then enjoying it for like two minutes, then being annoyed, then being bored again

oh god will thanos ever stop talking hes like every straight entitled white man ive ever met

i think im done i want to cancel my netflix account before they charge me again tomorrow but i dont rly wanna finish this movie enough to keep it

[zenruption]

I am Hereby Absolved of My Ignorance

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

Recently I have had the living shit scared out of me. No, I haven’t been to a haunted house or watched a scary movie. It is all from watching A Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu. It’s simple. People honestly sit in our government that think somewhat similar and no matter how much you try to admonish this upon their supporters, the votes will still come.

You see it constantly. Not one person reading this can say they haven’t at least opened a thread on a Facebook discussion (political argument) and thought, “Holy shit, this is nuts.”

Why did you think that? Because facts are gone, stats are now a lie and every person in the U.S. has an excuse that makes them the expert. They are right and no one else is. In a country where roadside billboards nationwide now have signs that say, “There is Evidence for God” and urge you to call 855-for-truth, anything is now possible. Conspiracy theories are accepted, Alex Jones is a patriotic American and science is a lie. (bonus: 104 Actual Headlines from Alex Jones’ InfoWars)

We’re headed to a special kind of hell that is of our own doing. Where the real Hell never existed, the believers thought it best to subconsciously create one. Their hypocrisy is non-existent with the new logic of America and their sins can easily be forgiven with a prayer and a vote for Fuhrer Trump. It doesn’t matter if you think, or attempt to do so, only that you stand for the Pledge.

It makes perfect sense that we have ended up here. A high standard of living, unrivaled power, constant marketing, materialism, entitlement, multi-level marketing, an Internet of echo chambers, polarized politics, biblical literalism, hidden racism, easy outs and a the political mythotainment complex that began with the first actor president, 37 years ago, have made us the bastard nation of the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) countries. The rest of the world is looking at us in utter disbelief and still, a very large percentage of our population, with zero world view, believes they absolutely know more. They know so much and are so patriotic that they might even tell certain people to leave the country and never come back if someone has so much as questioned.

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That the country once achieved such highs and is now moving backwards, has become the justification to suspend all ability to think. As the US enters the unthinkable territory of becoming the first poor superpower, with male longevity actually falling, household incomes falling against inflation for 40 years and economic disparity equal to a third world country, the myths associated with a country that once was are easy to grasp for many than tackling policy failures. A hat that says, “Make America Great Again” is easier than admitting we have been sold a line of bullshit.

The rise of Trump has given them a renewed sense of power and being on the right side of history. Suddenly, moving to the right of the highway shoulder by 400 feet means you sit exactly in the center. Anyone near the center or that ever bothered to take a logic class, is now a Commie. Na Zdorovie!

So, let’s get to the point. Here is a list of every argument that reaffirms the rest of us shouldn’t even bother anymore: 

Fake News

We must start with the new rally cry of the right. What started as phenomenon of kids from Macedonia making bank from stories designed to trick and incense conservatives, has been turned back around by them. It is the new supplement for the term main stream media. One could ask if the inverse term of alternative media is now the purveyor of real news, but we all know that the articles written at a fifth-grade level about PizzaGate and the 30,000 scientists that dispute global warming, will always win.

Recently, even Fox News had a rash of social media proclamations against it as a purveyor of fake news. Why? Their latest poll showed Donald Trump at a 40% approval rating.

The argument is now so simple. If they don’t like what it says, it is fake. Only a news source that continually tells them what they want can be real.

Of course, it was the largest inauguration ever. The pictures were faked by a news media that doesn’t want to admit to our new President’s popularity.

Even worse, you can include an actual Trump tweet to show his Moron-In-Chief for what he is and even that will be called fake news.

Hey. I don’t like the thought of climate change wrecking my kid’s future, but that doesn’t mean I get to call it a hoax. 

Alternative Facts

Ok. What the hell is an alternative to a fact? Believe it or not, the alternative to a fact is a lie. That this term has ever been used, even once, shows that the US is now subject to a world where stupidity is in charge and anything can be real. Will we outlaw the teaching of evolution soon as well? 

Tit – for Tat Arguments

For years the Fox News crowd was given scandal after scandal, whether they existed or not, about our former President. They were told he was constantly ignoring the Constitution and breaking the law. The Article “Criminal In Chief” — 78 Times President Obama Broke The Law During Presidency, lists such egregious activities as  trying to shut down family farms, proposing military intervention in Syria, “illegally” didn’t submit a budget on time and this laughable list goes on and on with offenses that either never happened or aren’t offenses in the first place. Many things listed as horrific on this list, pale in comparison to actions of the new President in less than 6 months. The Trump supporters will believe everything in their search for reaffirmation of the ego.

The common argument is that if Obama had done so many horrific things, surely Trump can be excused for his misdeeds. After all, Trump is going to defend the Constitution where Obama was trying to destroy it to found a Communist utopia.

Well people, regardless of what you think Barack Obama did, Trump is President now. You long ago showed us that a higher standard wasn’t what you wanted with the election of a vile human being. No, you’ll create any past act that justifies current actions despite how unconstitutional and ridiculous they might be. In fact, some of you justify the current racist sentiments as a valid response to the “horrors” you were subjected to for 8 years.

There is no point arguing this either. 

Common Sense

It is so painful when one of them says, “You can have all your facts and stats, but I have common sense.” The reasoning behind this is that stats can be manipulated to fit the narrative but what this country has been lacking is common sense, despite that people with common sense actually would use good data.

Obtaining this common sense is apparently the function of hours of reading and watching news and commentary sources that frequently abuse the living shit out of actual data to achieve their points.

So… no matter how often you quote an actual stat or fact, it doesn’t matter. Obviously, you have no “common sense”.

Walk away and save your breath. 

Science is Your Religion

Seriously? Is their “common sense” unable to distinguish between a religion and science? When was the last time you saw a peer reviewed paper discussing how many times someone in the old testament lived to be older than 500?

This is the de facto argument from someone that is religious, their religion supersedes good governance and everything else in the world is out to destroy their way of life. Their reasoning, or lack of it, has a Christian country being destroyed and the scientists are in on it. A belief in scientific tenants at odds with their religion is not only an attack but also indicates the presence of an evil liberal.

Isn’t it funny that science process seeks to correct itself while religion and politics often mean doubling down on what already hasn’t been working? Science can be neither a religion or a political conviction. It’s simply science and it doesn’t care what you believe.

Recent discussions observed online even have the Trumpanistas disavowing math. Seriously math? If math didn’t exist as a universal constant, neither would we.

Once again, no amount of logic or facts will work here. They are impervious. 

Universities are Hotbeds of Communism (i.e. the educated should be dismissed for their bias)

Yes, it has happened. Experts don’t matter and education is now an indicator of stupidity. Those with degrees lack common sense, are indoctrinated, think they know it all and only argue points that fit their political bent.

Every single authoritarian movement has needed to marginalize the educated elite to maintain the populism and centralized control of the movement.  The US is now following this trend.

The everyman is reaffirmed in that they aren’t “brainwashed”.

Your degree and background means nothing with this crowd. Any expertise you have is a waste. They know how science works, understand economics and have a lock on their revised history.

Another instance of wasted breath is upon us.

 You’re Just Another Snowflake, Mad that Hillary Won

No jackass, the election is long over. I am mad that my kid’s future is being destroyed. That’s the extent of the argument. They’ll believe that is the case regardless though.

Walk again

The list of logical and argumentative fallacies (isn’t cool I included a list of them?) goes on and on. There are straw man arguments, anecdotal evidence, false correlations, arguments of false consequences, etc. No debate judge is sitting there to show them they are wrong and even if there were, they wouldn’t accept it in any case.

This is America now. Our exclamations are wasted on the new experts of everything. A Ph.D means nothing. Critical thinking is dismissed. The crowd that thinks an open window wastes the air conditioning even if it is colder outside, has won. 

For now

A professor of history told me prior to the election that if Trump won he would kick back in his easy chair and watch the destruction. He knew the secret; that there would be no fix or argument until everything fell apart.

The world has changed and those of our ilk know the proposals of Trump are only detrimental to supporters. He can’t do what he promised. You can’t bring back jobs automated away. One cannot defeat an ideology. The workings of checks and balances restrain him for now.

20 percent of Trump supporters will always support him. The rest might eventually be up for grabs.

 So, the art of the argument is dead. It gave way to the fake Art of the Deal. They believe their extremism is center right and nothing will change that.

Forget the argument. Keep it civil at the bar.

Our moment comes when we all turn out in 2018. Let’s expend our energy on motivating everyone that knows better when the time comes.

Sit back, watch the destruction, leave them with nothing to assuage their ego and get ready to act in less than 18 months.

 No memes were harmed in the making of this article.

[savanahdppadillaim10insuran-blog]

Is there anyone that has Mercury Car Insurance? I am wondering if they are any good? Please help!?

Is there anyone that has Mercury Car Insurance? I am wondering if they are any good? Please help!?

Just curious on how they rate compared to other insurance companies.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :HELP-INSURE.NET

SOURCES:

Just curious on how they rate compared to other insurance companies.

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Just curious on how they rate compared to other insurance companies.

[oselatra]

On the transgender crisis

I find it ironic that the UAMS offers this but University of Arkansas insurance does not cover any form of gender dysphoria.

From the web

In response to the May 11 cover story, "The real transgender crisis in Arkansas: health care," on the gender clinic at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences:

This is an excellent article. I find it ironic that the UAMS offers this but University of Arkansas insurance does not cover any form of gender dysphoria.

Teri Dawn Wright

I do not have an original birth certificate. I was adopted 47 years ago from South Korea. I was found and put in an orphanage. This is typical of most people adopted around that time. If I were trans, then I would have been figuratively screwed up the butt by the conservatives in our legislature.

SouthMeetsSouth

In reponse to the May 11 reporter, "The biking news," about a grant to design a bike trail from Little Rock to Hot Springs:

This is an exciting project for cyclists. I would also like to see a study on the feasibility of a commuting bike path along I-630. There are already pieces, i.e., a path from John Barrow Road to Rodney Parham and a path in the median of Chenal. If we want to encourage bike commuting, this would be a more convenient (although less scenic) route than the River Trail and more accessible to biking from home for many in West Little Rock.

Tomato Dave

In response to the Arkansas Blog posting of the video of a man in a "Make America Great Again" cap raising hell on a United Flight from Shanghai and getting booted off the plane:

If you ever doubt that President Trump's rhetoric and the whole MAGA mystique is about anything other than ensuring that white males maintain their supremacy, all you have to do is watch this video.

AnnaHarrisonTerry

I am ENTITLED to that seat. 

Unfortunately there are way too many people in this country — Arkansas has more than its fair share — who will defend this asshat's entitlement.

Vanessa

In response to Arkansas Blog posts on President Trump's proposed budget cuts of $1.7 trillion that would reduce food stamps, health care accessibility, Social Security disability benefits and more:

Well, when Arkansas Trumpers turn into whiny little bitches because Trump's budget and other bad stuff are hurting their families, MAYBE THEY'LL WAKE the FU!!

They are 100 percent not changing their view that Trump the faux billionaire cares for them. Why, every deal he's made is for them ... unless you read 5 minutes and find out Trump's deals are for himself and the rest of the super 1 percent. If Trump stays in the White House/Mar-a-lago for two more weeks or two more years, three-fourths of his time will be spent enriching his family and that other fourth will go to enriching fellow 1 percenters. Do the math: none for us.

No time will be spent on the rest of us no matter how we voted or how red our state is. He's not in office to work for the 99 percent, just to feed 'em bullshit at an amazing rate and giggle when he sees they're taking the bait. It's sad, not Trump sad, but the real sad, hard sad, human sad ahead of us. 

Deathbyinches

Hey MAGA-hatters, Drumpf's proposed budget will:

Gut your health-care, MAGA-hatter: Seth Rich!

Impose deep cuts on Medicare, MAGA-hatter: Clinton Foundation!

Allow states to limit Medicaid enrollment, MAGA-hatter: Private email server!

Cut food stamps to over 40 million people, MAGA-hatter: Sandy Hook fake!

Cut meals on wheels for impoverished, shut-in elderly: Birth certificate!

Roll-back student loan protections, MAGA-hatter: CNN fake news!

Slash public health funding and infectious disease research, MAGA-hatter: Gun grabbers!

Boost an already bloated "defense" budget, MAGA-hatter: Mur-ica First!

tsallenarng

The sky is falling, the sky is falling.

When are y'all going to start dealing in fact? Not false news. Not maybe. Solid verifiable facts.

What bullshit.

Razorblade

Keep lying to us, Razor. It helps us verify where you keep your head and it helps us understand the denier's mindset. Even a bad example serves as a lesson to us all. And, by the way, do you need an extra jar of Vaseline?

Jake da Snake

In response to an Arkansas Blog post about Sen. Tom Cotton's appearances in Iowa and his denial he's not running for president in 2020:

It is grounds for despair among thinking folks that someone like Cotton can be taken seriously as a potential presidential candidate, three years out. Of course, if he's running now, that means he doesn't think that he'll be running against Trump or Pence. 

The real grounds for despair are not Cotton, nor Trump, nor Pence, but that a substantial plurality of the American electorate still approve of them. We don't need a voter ID law, we need a voter IQ law.

It is now time for my only religious ritual, thanking whatever gods that be for the invention of Scotch.

Silverback66

On the transgender crisis