#every Keller scene is batshit

[kissmefriendly]

I really want to try my hand at animating again and I’d love to do a scene from Victoriocity. I honestly think any scene would be great but Keller’s Home Defence System is such a top contender. “Sorry old boy save your breath, already deaf from firing!” Please.

I wanna animate Keller so badly, you can hear the moustache

[beesmygod]

this is what riverdale is about (part 2)

part 1

CHARACTERS: (images taken from the riverdale wiki)

archie andrews: america’s good/bad boy depending on what the script calls for that week. has the least personality of anyone in the cast and acts as a piece of beef they bounce around from scene to scene, punching what needs to be punched. archie’s father is fred andrews (rip luke perry) who runs a construction company. his mother is mary andrews (molly ringwald) (!?) who lives in chicago and only visits when the show can afford to have her on. archie likes football, making music and committing violent crimes for “good” reasons.

betty cooper: the sweet girl next door who loves wearing sweaters and investigating crimes. had a crush on archie for about 30 seconds in season 1 and then hopped jughead’s dick and never looked back. worries about a “darkness” inside of her at least 3 times a season. you can tell when she is overcome by said darkness when she puts on a wig that makes her look like uma thurman in pulp fiction. her home life fucking sucks; her mother is narcissist alice cooper (no, not that one) and her father is hal cooper who has his own major problems going on. her sister is polly cooper who is dumber than a sack of rocks and can’t do anything right.

veronica lodge: the rich daughter of a “legitimate businessman”, veronica is the on-again-off-again girlfriend of archie andrews. she enjoys pissing her dad off and committing schemes for mostly good-hearted reasons. the show goes through great lengths to make sure you know she’s latina by having her family, hermoine lodge and hiram lodge (mark consuelos) call her “mija” at least 800 times an episode. she is not, blessedly, the stereotypical rich bitch. she has some semblance of a personality even if that personality is dull as dirt after season 1.

jughead jones: the hat wearing, monologuing, “weird” kid that the writers forgot likes to snack until season 3. jughead was a true crime writer in season 1 writing about the dark secrets of riverdale and then the writing team ditched this entirely to make jughead the head of a weirdly benevolent local gang called “the serpents” that his father, f.p. jones, led up to and including his career change to sheriff in season 3. jughead’s mom, gladys jones, and his sister, jellybean jones, don’t appear until season 3, as they live in toledo doing crimes. he is dating betty cooper, presumably because they both like investigating mysteries. they have nothing else in common.....or do they.....?

cheryl blossom: without a doubt, the greatest character on the show, and possibly in all of tv history. she is an enormous asshole for literally no reason and a chaos spirit who seemingly derives all of her power from causing problems and doing evil deeds. despite this, she frequently backs up the main crew on their various adventures, possibly out of boredom or just to see how she can make it messier. considers herself the head bitch in charge in riverdale and is the heir to the maple syrup empire her family built the town on. her brother is jason blossom, whose murder is the center of season 1. her father is clifford blossom, her mother is fellow wild-ass bitch penelope blossom, and she also lives with her grandma rose blossom. like all rich people, they are all batshit crazy.

toni topaz: girlfriend of cheryl blossom and member of the serpents, toni is much less chaos driven than cherly but still enjoys getting involved in various schemes and activities. had sex with jughead once and realized that men were gross and she preferred women, which is the most realistic thing this show has ever done. she likes photography and bar tends as a teen (?) at a biker bar called “the white wyrm”. she is the granddaughter of one of the founders of the serpents, a member of a local native tribe whose family was slaughtered when the town was established in 1941. the timeline of this show is a little wild.

josie mccoy: josie of “josie and the pussycats” fame! she likes singing and literally nothing else. she gives the show writers an excuse to write songs into the show diegetically. her mother is mayor mccoy and up until like 3 weeks ago, her father was sir-not-appearing-in-this-show. she has left the show recently but will appear in the sequel series “katy keene”. 

kevin keller: the local gay. likes to put on stage shows so we can experience the worst episodes of every season. apparently exists so that discrimination can happen on screen before cheryl’s coming out. his father is sheriff keller. sometimes, the show tries to make his hangups about his dating life the center of an episode and tries to make the horrific murders the backseat issue. despite this, we love kevin.

NEXT: SEASON 1

[dachi-chan25]

Riverdale episode 6 recap

Okay so it's been a while since I've done I recap (cuz I don't usually have much time) but today I'm hella sick so work is out of the picture and I have a LOT of thoughts/feelings about THIS episode so why the hell not???

First of all I applogize for the format (I'm on mobile cuz turning on my computer literally gives me a headache when I'm sick) I'll try to fix it, and lastly I warn THIS contains–

SPOILERS!!!!!

•So we start the episode talking about fear (honestly I LOVE the intros) we see Archie with his guitar staring anxiously at himself in the mirror and we also see Betty and Polly when they were children, then we have a pretty neat transition to the present. Betty is chillin' on her bed and writing her diary while Mama Cooper (aka Satan) is folding Betty's clothes, oh and my baby drops the bomb she invited Jughead over for breakfast, no biggie am I right???? (OMG THIS is happening!!!!) Alice was shocked!

•My sarcastic baby boy is having the most uncomfortable breakfast ever, (honest to God Imma kill Alice and then I'll adopt her daughters) it seems breakfast was only an excuse for our sleuths to distract Alice (they communicate only with a look #married4eva) So Betty can check her purse for any clues about Polly's whereabouts.

•Their little plight is succesful cause Betts finds a check for some kind of religious asociation (Can't remember the name sorry) they research it on the Blue & Gold offices and find out it's a home for 'troubled youths' #bingo of course they know Polly is there.

•So we have this kinda variety show on Riverdale (my boy Kevin is organizing it of course) and Archie is auditioning but he has stage fright, and no I'm not gonna make any Troy Bolton joke cuz I understand Archie. For those who want to know I'm am actress, I do theater mostly, musical theater, and when I began to study for it I was scared af because even if my friends and family were supportive I had tons of insecurities (and when you are an actor/Singer that's perfectly normal) so yeah I really connected with Archie here (What's the deal with Reggie tho??? First he is an asshole with Juggie and punches Archie, then he is actually decent with Archie and now he is pulling a 'keep ya' head in the game Bolton' and being a total dickhead like???

•At lunch my cutie sleuths are talking bout Polly and sharing food and once again communicating with their eyes (OTP) and for the first time Archie offers his help and Juggie totally rejects his ass (pretty logical tho cuz they would attract too much attention) and I kinda got the feeling Archie is getting jealous idk the way he looked at them did not sit right with me.

•So yeah Archie is angsting about the whole stage fright thing, Valerie is being supportive af (that's pretty cool cuz she actually has experience with this) and my girl Ronnie says she convinced (read: forced) Kevin to give him a slot in the show's program so he has the chance to share his songs (Kevin is totally NOT happy about it tho) but Archie thinks he can't make it alone and Valerie is like 'would love to help but I'm with the Pussycats babe' fear not cuz Ronnie is all smooth and offers to be the 'Bey to his Jay' (honestly I'm not very invested in Archie's love life but he certainly is lucky to have such awesome girls intrested in him) he accepts and it's all very flirty.

•Then we have Mama Lodge and Papa Andrews talking bussines, it seems things are not going good but Fred refuses to 'let his people go' cuz he felt real bad the last time he did (he is talking about Juggie's dad isn't he?) anyway he is not doing them any good either cuz for the looks of it the money is not enough for the payrolls, Fred has a plan tho, he wants to convince the new owner of the Drive In to give him the construction job and he asks for Hermione's help (which is hillarious cuz we, the viewers, know the buyer was her husband) she agrees and... We see Ronnie (i LOVE her) taking flowers to her mom but she doesn't get to give them to her cause she fricking watches her mom kissing Fred!!!!! WTF I thought she wasn't intrested??? Dunno this just made me sad for my girl Ronnie.

•Once Hermione arrives home Veronica confronts her, and is totally logical cuz she is still married, and of course Veronica thought once her dad was free they could be like they were before but Hermione tells her she is not So sure about it. OMG whyyyyyyy??????? Ronnie doesn't deserve THIS and while Hermione can do whatever she wants this is not the right way to go about it. For starters she should get a divorce and talk to Ronnie instead of letting her find out everything on her own and hurting her in the process #fuck them I'll adopt Ronnie too!!

•Then we get a scene where Fred is telling Archie all his 'guys' are gonna go to watch his presentation, Archie is still nervous but his dad is real supportive (why can't all the Riverdale parents be like this???) and he even tells him what happened with Ronnie's mom (see Hermione?? Not so hard to be honest with your child) Archie is also pretty supportive (the Andrews are so uncomplicated is like watching a completely different show)

•We're at school again and we have Archie and Val talking about music and stuff, and then we get a Pussycats rehearsal, Josie is really in the zone and gets pissed at Valerie, my girl Val snaps at her that working with Archie is much more plesant, and Josie looses it saying Val can't sing with both of them and she must choose ASAP Val promptly quits and I'm shoook!!!!!!! WTF is going on???

•Josie, now more calm, tells her mom and her mom is So nonchalant about it??? She tells Josie to replace Val and other pretty fucked up BS (why are the Riverdale parents So shitty???) cuz apparently Josie's dad is comming to see the show and if the Pussycats aren't perfect he would blame her for it. Da fuq????? And what about what Josie feels??? #I'm adopting Josie too

•So yeah Val tells Archie she can sing with him cuz she left the Pussycats and they start rehearsing and it's all nice and dandy til Ronnie arrives with her partiture and Archie is the douchiest douche to have ever douched, for real he didn't even told Ronnie he was going to sing with Val now and just put her aside like a toy or something (honestly fuck him so much!!! I support his love for music but that doesn't give him the right to use people and discard them whenever he wants) of course my girl totally calls this fuckboi out but in her anger she ends up yelling at him about their parents's affair. #protectRonnie #where's my girl Cheryl to console her gf??? Anyway Ronnie goes straight to the Pussycats and offers to replace Val (OMG she gets the kitty ears And the whole mean girls corridor-catwalk vibe it's awesome)

•They are rehearsing but Ronnie is not into it And Josie calles her out, And Ronnie explodes about everything, Josie is supportive af and very insightful tho. #I'm here for Josie/Ronnie friendship (And maybe more) Cherjosieca is my new OT3

•So we get Juggie and Betty in front of this wierd asylum (OMG they totally skipped school) there they must be separated cuz only Betty can enter, they take her to Polly's room, but she is not there she is in the gardens and honestly when the Cooper sisters reunite is the most beautiful thibg, and also Betty founds Polly is not sick but she is pregnant (I totally knew this)

•We get the full story about how she and Jason were gonna run away on July 4th but someone told her parents and she got taken away (for fuck's sake why do you do this to your daughter?!?!? Over maple syrup really????)and OMFG she doesn't know Jason is dead!!!!!!! #go home Riverdale parents # this year's 'Shittiest parent' award goes to Alice and Hal Cooper.

•An old lady (she is the one who recieved Betty and Juggie) takes Betty away And boom!!! Alice is there, the witch practically drags Betty to a corridor and says she paid the institution to inform her every time Polly got a visitor, Betty is having none of THIS shit And confronts her about not telling Polly about Jason, and then they run into Polly (I guess she was being taken back to her room) And Polly is crying And screaming at Alice for not telling her and they drag her away from Betty, And Jughead tries to help but can't And OMG why must Betty suffer like THIS??? #protectBetty #my heart broke

•Then back at the Coopers, Betty is being confronted by her patents who try to gaslight the shit out of her (why are you So awful???) of course Betty doesn't let them out the hook And asks her dad if he broke into Sheriff Keller's home ( we know he totally did) he says he didn't, And Betty asks if he killed Jason her mother starts to laugh (she goes from suburban mom to the Joker in .5 seconds I swear) and says she wishes either of them had killed Jason (I mean I knew it wasn't them, but that's such a fucked up thing to say let alone in front of your daughter) #the Cooper parents are batshit crazy, of course Betty tries to make them see reason And the abusive shits say they are her parents and she must believe them just cuz they say so. #Imma fight them both tbh

So we get this elegant dinner at the Lodge's place, And Josie's asshole dad is there being pretentious as fuck, and I can't stand him (also Josie called Archie Yoko Ono and I cracked up xD) Fred presents his project but Mayor Mccoy says it's not up to her but she'll try to help him.

•Arch talks to Val about crazy dinner time, and of course about Josie's dad, Val says now she gets why Josie was So worked up about the show, Archie tells her to go back to the Pussycats cuz I guess now he is more confident of maybe he wants to stand on his own, And that's a good thing!!!! Cuz Val loves the Pussycats And Arch doesn't want to be Yoko #LMAO

•Ronnie is getting ready to go to the show but she decides to talk things with her mom like Josie suggested, unfortunately Hermione drops her the bomb that Hiram (aka dady dearest) gave her a sharing of his company before going to jail and she needs Ronnie to sign the papers to give Fred the job, Ronnie gets mad af And says she won't sign anything for her mom's lover, and what does Hermione do?? She FORGES her daughter's signature #fuck her tbh!!! #she is driving her daughter away with all her BS

•So apparently Betty is confined to her room, worry not cuz our brave Jughead (aka Romeo) climbs to her window and kills me with a single line ('hey there Juliet' *dead*) she smiles And OMG they are the cutest ship ever!!!! Anyway Betty is feeling pretty out of it because her parents are crazy And maybe Polly And she are too... Jughead tries to calm her down saying they are not their parents (THIS sounds So Romeo&Juliet to me!!!) And he stutters and its adorable And he gains courage And then HE KISSES HER (ahhhhhhh ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥❇🌟🌠✅✔✔✅✔🆒💯💯💯💯💯‼‼‼‼❗❕❗❕❗) And it's the cutest thing ever cuz one really gets to see that Juggie was waiting to do that for a long time (the lil' sigh he gives *dead again* And her smile!!!!! *couldn't be more dead*) now Betty starts talking about Jason's car (I know lots of people think she ruined the moment but consider this: before the kiss she was lost, she doubted herself and her parents and everything BUT after the kiss she regains focus and trust in herself and tbh I find this beautiful, I don't think they need big romantic declarations of love cause they know, they have such a Deep understanding with each other that words are not really necessary) And Juggie gets So amused at her (SAME Juggie) So they are back at the sleuthing bussines and go to check Jason's car.

•Now in the show Val talks with Josie And everything between them gets fixed (I LOVE girl friendship) And Kevin (OMG it's me or he looks like Corny Collins???) introduces them to the audience, they sing a modern cover of 'I feel LOVE' And we get a transition to Betty and Juggie finding the car, they see the back And find one of Jason's jacket And lots of drugs, And OMG they actually are going to go to the police (THIS is such an unusual thing for this kind of shows) but someone is watching them (God I hope nothing bad happens to them)

•Josie's asshole of a dad gets up and leaves before the Pussycats finish And Imma fucking gonna fight him cause my girl Josie is trying So hard not to cry in front of everyone #fuck your dad Josie #you are enough #you are talented And amazing.

•Now it's Archie's turn And he is still terrified, but Ronnie (bless her forgiving heart) gives him the support he needs to go on stage and actually sing, And OMG THIS is straight outta High School Musical cuz after the show every one is cheering on him and wow just crazy.

•But before the show ends Betty and Jughead arrive (like two adorable drenched puppies) with Sheriff Keller And tell him what they found, And OMG for a moment Betty hears Archie's voice through the speaker but she decides to go after Juggie and Sheriff Keller (my girl is already moving on!!! Good job at visual representation writers!!)

•So Archie thanks Val for everything, and they KISS, OMG I really like them together but I'm not So sure Archie is ready to have a relationship, I mean he is So volatile, Idk, I liked the kiss And I hope he is not an ass to Val.

•So Hermione and Fred are huggin and Ronnie arrives being polite af (So classy) Fred gives her the good news (that he got the job) and of course Verónica immediatly knows what happened And leaves #well now you did it Hermione #I just wanna hug Ronnie tho

•The police + Bughead get at the car but it's on Fire!!! And the evidence is lost with it!!!! OMG why?????????????????? Then my babies go to Polly's institution only to find she escapes through the window (there was blood on the glass and I'm So damn worried for her)

And the episode ends there cause the writers of this show wanna keep me anxious over my children til next week!!!

...

And that's it I always have fun doing these maybe I'll try to make one for next week (if I'm not to dead by then) I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about it!!!