#every 'the boy' are meant to be read with john mulaney's voice talking about timothée chalamet

[obiwanobi]

All the sith obi-wan asks have led to a persistent daydream of mine where I basically repurposed the plot of the force awakens (the only somewhat good sequel) and made Anakin essentially be Rey and Obi-Wan is essentially Kylo Ren, but like. As a sith. And competent. Mostly for the drama of like fallen Jedi Obi-Wan being really hot but coming back to the light bc he met a hot twink who knows nothing about the force but is also really good at it. None of the plot follows anything from the force awakens except for the fight in the snow because that was 👀

.............hello, yes, I’m interested, it’s possible that I’ve downloaded and rewatched tfa just because of this ask because,,, the fight in the snow? with Obi-Wan and Anakin? and hot and clueless twink Anakin turning sith!Obi-Wan to the light? is such a good concept?

okay, so listen we’re going to discard most of the plot and only keep the cool things that could work with this idea, let’s GO:

So, Sith!Obi-Wan is the calm but cold Sith lord of the Force Order, looking for the last Jedi in the galaxy (is it Qui-Gon, his former master? or Yoda?) and captures Padmé, one of the symbols of the resistance, to get intel about his location.

Of course, the map he’s looking for is in the care of her loyal droid, Artoo, who’s currently running wild on Tatooine until he meets Anakin, and immediately makes him his new bff. They soon bump into Ahsoka, ex-stormtrooper who just completed her training but couldn’t go through her first real mission, who tried to rescue Padmé before leaving the Order, but thinks she died during their escape.

Things happen like in tfa, the First Order attacks and the A-Team (Anakin, Ahsoka and Artoo) flies away to a cantina owned by pirates and a certain Hondo on Takodana, and that’s when Anakin hears the call from the lightsaber of a Jedi, hidden in the vault there for years after Hondo inexplicably got his hands on it. The visions he gets after touching it are from his past, with his mother disappearing and never coming back, and also from the future, with violence and red sabers and death. He gets scared, and runs away without wanting any part of it.

Then the FO shows up again, and this time, Sith!Obi-Wan is here to see who is the boy who’s messing up his plans, and the traitor who helped Padmé escape. Obi-Wan only has to take one look at Anakin and understands that there’s something here in the Force, something that he can’t clearly see or understand, so after one very short fight and a rapid Force suggestion, Obi-Wan captures Anakin and brings him back to his ship.

Now, Obi-Wan isn’t Kylo Ren, he’s way more composed and pragmatic, and above all, fascinated by the potential of Anakin’s connection to the Force. So, he knows he’s supposed to dig into his mind, torture him, surely, to get the info he needs, and then kills him.

 But. 

 He also really wants to test the limits of Anakin’s power. 

So he takes the time to play with his prey a bit, talks with him, (and, ah, the boy is angry and obstinate, he would make a great Sith,) walks the line between charming smiles and promises of painful consequences, nudges his mind to see how Anakin reacts. Anakin is untrained, and of course, doesn’t know anything about the Force, but... he could.

On a whim, just to satisfy his own curiosity, Obi-Wan starts talking about mind tricks, building his own walls around his mind, feeling the Force around, all the basics of Force 101.  

“It’s not that hard. Anyone who can concentrate for more than a second could do it,” he says to an oblivious Anakin who blinks multiple times because he has no idea why the guy who’s supposed to torture him is suddenly giving him a crash course on the Force. “For example, if I do this...—” Obi-Wan’s mind pokes him, “— picturing a durasteel wall or concentrating on pushing me out would at least make ransacking your mind a bit more difficult.”

Anakin takes a moment to understand what’s happening, and during that time, Obi-Wan thinks that it’s a hopeless cause, and really, what did he expect to happen.

But then there’s a new gleam in Anakin’s eyes, and when Obi-Wan tries to peak at Anakin’s memories of the droid again, he’s violently pushed back to his own mind. He’s impressed, but doesn’t have the time to be more delighted by this sudden development because suddenly Anakin is diving headfirst inside his own mind. 

“Don’t—” he tries to say, but Anakin is strong, and it has been so long since Obi-Wan had to protect himself against such intrusions, that it takes precious seconds to build strong enough shields to shove Anakin out of his mind. 

“You’re…. afraid,” Anakin says to him. “That you will never be strong enough for your master. That you’ll be replaced by someone better. Stronger.” 

Having his deepest fears being thrown at his face by a reckless idiot who didn’t even know what the Force was this morning, is… embarrassing, to say the least. The words are still ringing in his ears a few hours later when he’s standing in front of Sidious, and that’s probably why Obi-Wan casually forgets to mention that the boy has been captured. 

And also that he’s Force-sensitive. 

Sidious really doesn’t need to know.  

This time, he makes sure to build strong shields around his mind before entering the room where Anakin is kept again. And finds it empty. 

He should be angry. He should set off the alarm, and give the order to kill him on sight. But then he talks to the two stromtroopers guarding the corridor, and there is nothing that screams more like 'classic mind trick' than the soldiers looking at him all confused and lost, incapable of recalling what prompted them to release the prisoner. 

Obi-Wan should be furious. Instead, Obi-Wan turns on his heel, and opens himself fully to the Force to find the boy by himself. 

Yes, Obi-Wan should be furious. Instead, he’s almost fascinated by Anakin’s aptitude to learn so quickly. 

And then we get to the fight! in! the! snow! 

 So Ahsoka came to rescue Anakin, and now both of them are running from the FO base until Obi-Wan, who’s starting to get a bit annoyed that these kids just destroyed half of his base, puts himself on their way.

When Anakin tries to shoot him, he does Force-push him a bit too strongly and knock him out. Ahsoka screams at him, and he thinks that this couldn’t get any worse, because he now has in front of him: 1. A former stromtrooper who betrayed the Order and is ready to fight him, her former boss, 2. the same clueless togruta igniting the lightsaber that Obi-Wan can assert is his former master’s and where the hell did she get that, and 3. Clearly force-sensitive too, because this is the kind of day he’s having. 

So here he is, fighting a girl who doesn’t even know how to hold a lightsaber, asking himself why he couldn’t have a normal and boring night for once. It becomes a bit tiresome after a few seconds, and when the girl loses the lightsaber in the snow, he’s ready to end this whole thing and uses his former master’s saber to do it. So he stands above the unconscious girl laying down at his feet, and reaches for the weapon, hand raised towards it. 

The lightsaber doesn’t come. 

Obi-Wan’s day has now progressed from ‘bad’ to ‘this is the last time I let myself get distracted by a hot twink’.

He concentrates a bit more on the weapon, and it finally comes flying in the air. 

To Anakin’s hand. 

And Obi-Wan ‘gets turn on by proficiency’ Kenobi is, once again, and against his will, almost impressed.   

He loses a bit of respect for him when Anakin tries to fight him, because the boy has zero style and no finesse, and Obi-Wan can almost hear what Dooku would say about that. Anakin is just swinging the lightsaber like a maniac with anger issues, violently destroying more trees than necessary in the process. Surprisingly, he’s still not too terrible at it.

“You need a teacher,” Obi-Wan says, between their blades locked together. He’s not sure why he’s telling him that, but deep down, he knows that Sidious will end up knowing about Anakin, about how strong his connection to the Force is, and what a good apprentice he would make. Really, killing Anakin would solve most of his problems right now. So he’s almost surprised to hear himself say, “I can show you the way to the Force.” 

And Anakin hesitates. Until now, he’s always been inflexible about wanting nothing to do with the FO or Obi-Wan, but here, in the middle of the wood, alone and so close that only the buzzing of their sabers separates them, Anakin considers it. 

Obi-Wan can see it in his eyes, the hunger to know more, to learn, to become something, to be someone powerful and capable of protecting what he loves.

The boy wants. Fiercely, and almost violently. 

Then Anakin kicks him right in the chest. 

Obi-Wan falls down in the snow, surprised and breathless. The whole day has turned so bad that he’s now getting his ass kicked by a former slave with zero impulse control and no training. The thought is so ridiculous to him, that Obi-Wan laughs. A genuine and deep laugh. He can’t remember the last time it happened.

“Very good, Anakin,” he chuckles after a while, propping himself up on his elbows and brushing his hair away from his eyes to look at Anakin.

It’s a dark night, and the only lights around are from the distant base on fire and the Jedi’s lightsaber between Anakin’s hands, but Obi-Wan still sees it. Feels it. 

Anakin is flustered and blushing. And oh, that’s interesting. 

It doesn’t matter that Anakin only feels embarrassed in the Force and doesn’t even try to attack again while Obi-Wan is still lying down, breathing hard. Or that they both look at each other without saying anything for a bit too long, even when the whole planet is falling apart around them. Or that Anakin finally turns around to pick up Ahsoka and flee, and Obi-Wan doesn’t stop him. 

The only thing that matters is that before disappearing behind the trees, Anakin looks back at Obi-Wan.

And even brushes against him in the Force.  

So very interesting, Obi-Wan thinks, smiling widely, and lets his head fall back in the snow.