#ever since i had that 'click' moment of realizing for a lot of ppl

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

lol people already complaining 15 is "too passive" and "not commanding enough" and "just doesn't feel like the doctor" because he's "not enough of a big personality!!! the doctor is supposed to be THE MAN WITH THE ANSWERS" god. amazing. we haven't moved an inch since 13.

[heartsouls]

no plz tell me all your thoughts about the gregory hate so I can reblog it💀

OHHH boy this is gonna be a long one buckle up

Ever since Gregory was first announced I believe most of the fandom have interpreted him as this frail child who was always on the verge of tears and needed G.Freddy’s protection (think C.C 2.0), but once the game came out most ppl were shocked to see this kid actually has a lot of bite to him and kicked ass (ppl’s first reactions to him destroying the animatronics still make me laugh).

This was MY first introduction to him, so I wasn’t completely taken aback but still pleasantly surprised. Most if not all his actions made sense or at least made sense for a 10yr boy to think/act. Giant robots coming after me with the intention to kill (and insulting me for no damn reason)? Yeah I’d probably add an extra kick in there for good measure. Then came the first repair scene, when Vanessa revealed the high possibility of Gregory being an homeless orphan everything just clicked into place for me.

OF COURSE that’s why Gregory was so aggressive, he had to learn how to fight on his own to survive he’d probably had to face even worse than this! He wasn’t going to let that all go to waste bc some weird murderous rabbit lady wanted to drag him into her plans. It explains why he brushed off G.Freddy’s worries about him bc he’s used to have to just keep moving and bare thru pain, especially in an environment where that’s really the ONLY thing you can do. It’s why he’s so blunt and can come off as rude bc he was most likely never taught how to behave “correctly” bc really who has the time?

He was just using all the knowledge he learned on how to survive from a cruel and harsh environment for another. But this time he has an ally for once, an adult (father) figure who actually cares about his wellbeing, it’s no wonder why he became so attached (but struggles to show it bc he’s not used to it). And through all that easily irritable aggression, there are moments to remind us he’s still a kid.

A useless fridge magnet? Yeah that is pretty lame man.

Now imagine my shock when I see others hating on him and calling him a villain. “How could he KILL the poor animatronics? He was so mean, he’s the true monster!” Wh- DID WE WATCH THE SAME GAME? You mean the same animatronics that says he doesn’t have anyone to care about him? Yeah real sweethearts they are. Gregory isn’t a damn monster, he’s a survivor! He’s doing what he only knows best, IT’S TO SURVIVE!

“How could he be so mean to G.Freddy??? Those are his friends! He made Freddy feel bad!” Trust me when I say that Gregory cares about G.Freddy ALOT, did you see his reactions whenever G.Freddy got hurt??? That’s his father thank you very much!

“How could he have killed Vanny in that one ending?! He’s the real villain!” …Do I even need to explain this one?

And ohhhhhh don’t get me started on the awful “bratty gremlin devil” Gregory HCs. Now this isn’t to say that Gregory can’t be a gremlin or whatever. He can be, he is a bit cheeky, but then some started to intensify it and made it his entire personality. No, Gregory wasn’t just itching to rip Roxy’s eyes out or do the next batshit insane thing, he noticed the other upgrades and put two and two together (It gets more weird and slightly disrespectful when they add in the homeless thing as if that automatically makes someone act “feral”….tiktok.)

And then we have the complete opposite where some portray him as what I mentioned in the first paragraph. The poor helpless child who cant handle anything by himself…even though that’s complete bullshit (he’s also usually portrayed to be obnoxiously sweet for some reason). I don’t think many ppl realize how often were not in G.Freddy during SB, and Gregory is described to be quick on his feet and wits (plus his tools) and he doing damn well by himself! [Obviously this isnt to say that he didnt need G.Freddy’s help and protection, ofc he did, he just didnt need to RELY on it like some ppl make it seem he did].

(I know we went a bit off-topic for the last two paragraphs, trust me it connects)

All of this comes down to simply that some just can’t accept the fact that Gregory isn’t their perfect victim. He doesn’t crumble to the floor and beg for G.Freddy to help him up like they want him too. He’s not shy and sheepishly asking for help like they think he’s supposed to. And when they realize that part they try to push him into the other far end where he’s crazy, cold, and cruel. But he’s not. He cares, and he cares deeply. He’s still a little boy, he cried and tried to cover his face when he saw Vanny die. He should be leaping in victory, he killed his killer after all right? But he didn’t, bc despite everything she was still a human being, and he was so scared.

He has complex trauma (duh), he’s not this way or that way, and I get it. It’s hard to write or draw that kind of trauma for Gregory, especially when SB didn’t really give us much. But the way ppl act as if that’s what he actually is is soooooo frustrating. In my opinion the fact that his trauma is so complex and the fact he’s not your typical written victim is what makes him so interesting! And I feel like a lot ppl were slowly getting around to it…

Until GGY and Ruin happened and the hate came back so much worse, Welcome to the real Freddy Hell.

[inactive02939]

Could you write a Todoroki Shoto scenario where Endeavor finds Shoto and his girlfriend cuddling when she visits him during a break of her own internship?

character paring(s): todoroki shoto x fem!reader

scenario: all shouto wants is a little bit of private time with his girlfriend, but endeavor interrupts.

content warnings: reader has a webbed phalanges and gills quirk (yeah that's gross to some ppl), i know sometimes japanese resturants are different but i didnt want to misrepresent japanese culture, yeah sorry i'm american,

word count:

authors note: anyways i know this is too short but summer is starting soon and i don't have a lot of time to finish requests.

you sigh as you wipe the water from your face, looking at tsu, who was standing next to you.

"at least there were no villains today, right?" you weakly smiled and stretched your phalanges and sighed.

"it's our break time. i assume you're visiting todoroki?" the green-haired girl questioned as you squeezed the water from your (texture) hair.

"yeah, i am," you said proudly. ever since you had successfully asked todoroki out, it had been known that you were his. even mina had backed off from all her flirty comments she had been telling to everyone behind his back, because she knew you were listening.

after getting water out of your ears, you dried off and changed your clothes. you were cold-blooded because of your quirk, so the cold water didn't bother you. heading off to endeavor's agency, you glanced at the food stands and thought for a moment.

i wonder if shouto would like some zarusoba, you think before realizing that would probably make his day. he never liked training with endeavor, and there wasn't anything he liked more than eating some cold soba with you.

"can i have.. two bowls of zarusoba, please?" you take some money out of your pocket.

"would you like shoyu sauce with that?" the waitress wrote down your order and you nodded.

"that'll be 14,000 yen, please," you nod at her words as you hand her your money. a few minutes later after the bowls are pressed to your hands. you smile before walking away, putting the sauce packets back in your pockets.

when you finally arrive at your boyfriend's agency, you sneak through endeavor's office and into a small room with an entire window for a wall. you see shoto on his phone and set the soba down.

"thank you," he says as he shuts his phone off. you gently pat his hair, opening the containers and dumping shoyu on it. you stir it around and slurp on them.

few words are shared as you eat. i guess the food is that good, you think as you finish your last noodle. it took you a few seconds to realize that he was already done.

soon enough, you're in his arms. you don't even know how it happened. maybe he kissed you and you got nervous and blacked out? maybe you just spontaneously fell into his arms?

you shift your position on the bean bag chair so that you can properly lay your head on his shoulder. he buried your face in your hair. you stayed like that for an hour? hour and a half? you didn't know.

click.

you finally pick your head up as you see a figure at the door. the lights had automatically turned off. shoto picks his head up.

"what are you doing here?" shoto mutters to the figure in front of you.

"wh- are you talking to me?" complete confusion towers over you as you sit up and groggily look at him.

"no, i'm talking to him," he says, unvoluntarily hissing a bit as he pulled you closer.

"wh- oh, hey.." your voice is small and nervous.

todoroki enji looks down at you, releasing his hands from his hips. a small cough escapes him before he stops the staring conests and mutters, "shouldn't you be at your internship? it's a few minutes past three,"

"oh! oh, you're right! s-sorry, i should go," you chuckle nervously and put your bowl on the table, giving your boyfriend a small kiss.

"love you, sho- sorry-" you mutter as you bump into the taller man. panic clawed at you. a large and comes down and stops.

he holds his hand out to you. you take it, and he pulls you up.

"i'm sorry for scaring you," he averts his eyes. you nod and scurry to the door.

"is that your girlfriend?" are the last words you hear enji say before you close the door quietly and walk back down the street.

maybe endeavor isn't so bad after all..

[aresrambles]

Are You Bored? [Pt. 2]

shigaraki tomura x f!reader - explicit nsfw, strictly 18+, villain!reader, degradation, phone sex, mutual masturbation (1091 words)

a/n: ok so a few ppl requested pt. 2 so i gave it a shot! i’m not sure if i took this in the right direction but hopefully it’s ok. obviously a lot more steamy from where we left off. please enjoy!

click this for part one

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

”What is it?”

Shigaraki’s grumbling through Discord, something about how it’s late at night and you’re disturbing some important planning of his. You pretend to have not seen the ‘Playing: Minecraft’ update on his profile and promptly apologise before mustering the courage to speak up to your so-called superior.

“Well, y’see Boss, I think you might have something that belongs to me.”

Well, fuck. So she had the brains to notice her bra’s missing. Honestly, you can’t even blame Shigaraki for what he did. Infact, what kind of fucking slut leaves her undergarments just laying around for anyone to see? You were practically begging for him to steal them, especially with the way your eyes not-so-subtly washed over them with sheer panic. If you asked him, he was doing you a favour: one less uncomfortable contraption to hide those beautiful tits away from him.

“Boss?”

Shigaraki pauses for a moment before slumping down on his desk and groaning into the mic. He decides it wouldn’t hurt to fuck with you for a little bit. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” he lies, eyeing the pretty black number thrown onto his bed. Just looking at it was beginning to give him a semi.

“No, I think- I think you do. I had, uh, an item of clothing on my floor. Maybe you accidentally picked it up or moved it aside?”

You wait anxiously for Shigaraki’s response. He’s always been calculated and cool around you, not really speaking more than he has to. It makes you reflect on whether he even has any real personality at all, behind that huge goal of destroying hero society and playing a shitty game now and then? Your waiting is not prolonged however as you hear him shifting around in his chair before continuing.

“You called me for this? To throw some baseless accusation around ‘cause you lost some panties?” You can practically hear his shit-eating grin and cant help but feel a insulted pang in your chest. Why won’t he just own up to it?

“Boss, c’mon. I know it was you- can I just have it back?”

Shigaraki pretends to mull it over before something flashes up on his screen, stopping him in his tracks. He almost can’t believe his eyes until he hears your soft voice in his ears again. “I… You’re putting me in a difficult position without it.”

As soon as his eyes roll over the promiscuous pixels on his screen, Shigaraki’s palm shoots to rub over his clothed dick. It seems this said ‘position’ was nothing short of you splayed out in a chair, alone and topless, body dimly illuminated by cool blue lights. Shigaraki assumes it’s coming from the monitor in front of you. Taking a deep breath, you turn on your video camera and angle it so he can see, well, everything.

And boy, if he was struggling before, it was no comparison to the pathetic state he was in now. Your bashful expression only turned him on more, as you shoot a pleading look his way. “Instead of that flimsy thing,” You take a second to drag a finger down from your neck to waist, “Wouldn’t you rather have this instead?”

Truly, you do want that bra back. It was expensive and you know damn well the bastard won’t reimburse you for it, but the need to act like a cockwhore had been on your mind ever since he fucked off from your place. Ever since you had kissed, the scene has been on your mind replaying over and over.

“What are you doing?” Shigaraki pants out inbetween breaths, scrambling to free his cock from his pants that feel far tighter than a few seconds prior. “Just-just what the fuck are you doing?”

You don’t think you could answer that even if you tried, instead taking those same fingers and sticking them in your mouth. Shigaraki groans before you once more begin to hear shuffling on the other end.

“I- I’m not showing you my face.” He mumbles before your screen lights up with the sight of him adjusting his camera to face his crotch. You don’t fail to catch the light blush that was caught on Shigaraki’s nose and cheeks before you’re faced with a much lewder sight. His cock, red-tipped and leaking, cast a brighter glow across your features. You watch him begin to give himself languid, firm strokes as you almost salivate in awe.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” You murmur, not realizing you’ve taken your fingers out of your mouth and are speaking loud enough for the mic to pick it up. Shigaraki only whimpers in response as he looks at the soft curves and edges of your body. This is so much better than anything he could have ever imagined. The way you were just presenting yourself to him like some desperate bitch in heat was like a straight-up snippet from his wildest dreams. What he would do to be able to touch you right now, to drag his nails across your supple skin and mark it up real good. Instead, he reminds himself to grab ahold of the current victory and pay attention to you in the moment. It’s not everyday he gets a bitch willing to put on a live show.

“Touch yourself,” Shigaraki breathes out, ‘and- and say my name, say Tomura when you do it.” The gentle commands make your gut clench as you take off your jeans and begun to rub your clit through your panties. The wet stain makes Shiggy’s hips buckle and he stops stroking himself, just for a couple of seconds, to regain his composure.

“Can I put my fingers inside?” You question quietly, shyly peering at the camera. Shigaraki nods his head vigorously before realizing you can’t see him, and instead settles on grunting in approval. You let out an almost comically lewd moan at the feeling of your fingers entering you, slowly pumping in and out.

“Tomura, m’feels good. Want your fingers inside me-“

Watching you squirm and mewl as you fingered your soaking pussy was doing things to Shigaraki, things that were making him wander dangerously close to mistaking the line between lust and love. Because Shigaraki truly believed he loved you in this moment. Watching you be so vulnerable, so beautiful, all for him… He had to lay his claim on you. If he didn’t, he thinks it’d kill him.

“Just like that, keep going.” he cooes.

For once, you don’t look bored.

[golbrocklovely]

cake tasting // colby brock

A/N: so this isn't a request, but i saw this tweet that talked about two ppl who were friends going into a bakery and trying wedding cake, and i just knew i had to write something based off of it. i could only imagine how cute it would be to go and do this with colby, omg. anyway sorry i haven't update anything else yet. i haven't been extremely motivated, but i'm gonna try to write thru out the week and hopefully get something else out to yall soon :) lmk what you think of this. hope you enjoy !!

prompt: you and colby go to a bakery and pretend to be engaged to try wedding cakes. you have a crush on him, but he doesn’t have one on you. or does he…? cuteness ensues.

trigger warning: PURE FLUFF BB, sickeningly sweet

word count: 1535

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure we should do this?" Colby asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

I rolled my eyes at his nervousness. "Of course! I've done this before."

"How often do you do this?" He snorted, turning to look at me for a moment.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Occasionally. Mostly when I'm really in the mood for cake but don't know which type I want."

"I just feel bad about it. I feel like I'm stealing." Colby bit his lip uncomfortably.

"Well, I usually end up leaving a nice tip and buying some cupcakes, so it at least seems like I was interested." I replied.

"Wait, how are we gonna pass as a couple?" Colby doubted.

"Did you think I came unprepared?" I lifted my hand to show a big 'engagement' ring.

Colby gasped dramatically. "Jesus, you're gonna make them think I'm made of money with that."

I laughed. "Lucky for you it's fake, much like our impending marriage."

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Brock." He snickered.

We pulled into the parking lot next to our destination, Casey's Bakery. I slid out of my seat and followed Colby. When we got to the front door, Colby opened it for me. With a light bell ring, the immediate smell of baked goods hit me as I stepped inside. I crossed my arm through Colby's, walking up to the counter. A white haired, older woman stood behind the counter, her back to us. She spun around, a sweet smile coming to her face.

“Hello! I'm Casey, welcome to my bakery. What can I do for you two today?” She greeted.

I grinned back happily. “Hi! We were wondering if maybe we could try some samples of your cakes? My fiancé and I are planning our wedding, and we thought we might as well try some cake while we're out.”

“Oh! Is this the fiancé?” Casey guessed.

I nodded lightly. “Yes.”

“That's wonderful, congratulations!” She beamed. “What are your names?”

“I'm Colby, and this is Y/N.” Colby chimed in.

“You two look so young. How old are you?” Casey questioned.

“We're both 23.” I admitted.

“Oh, you're babies! Okay, is there any type of cake you're thinking about for the wedding?” She inquired.

I pursed my lips. “Um... no, not really. The wedding is still a long ways away.”

“When is it?” She asked.

“Ahh, next year... sometime in September. No final date just yet.” I stuttered. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Colby nod.

“Oooh, a fall wedding. Might I suggest trying the carrot cake first then? That's usually our most popular for fall weddings.” Casey informed.

“That sounds great. We'll try that first.” I agreed.

“Goodie. You guys can go take a seat, and I'll be right out with your cake.” She mentioned, smiling.

I returned the smile. “Thank you so much.”

As Casey rushed off to the back, I sat down at the closest table. I finally realized, looking around, that no one else was in the bakery but us.

“How did you come up with that?” Colby queried, surprised.

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“The date of our 'wedding'?” He responded.

“I'm good on my feet, what can I say?” I explained smugly.

He shook his head, and then glanced around. “I feel bad. There's no one here.”

“Don't worry. I plan on buying those over there.” I pointed at the cupcakes in the display.

“They do look really good.” He noted.

“And it smells like heaven in here.” I borderline moaned.

Colby cleared his throat, moving in closer to the table. “So... where would you want to get to married, if you could choose?”

“I don't know. Probably on the beach,” I answered. “I've always dreamed of getting married on the beach.”

“That sounds nice. Have you thought about your wedding, like all the little details and whatnot?” Colby gushed brightly.

I cocked my head to the side, almost laughing at him.

“What? Isn't that something most girls do?” He argued jokingly.

“First off, not every girl dreams about their wedding.” I scoffed. “But secondly, yes I have.”

“Who'd you get married to?” He questioned abruptly.

I choked. “Um-”

Casey busted in, cutting me off. “Okay! Sorry about that. I figured I might as well bring out some other samples besides the carrot cake.”

She placed four plates down in front of us. Each had two little sections of cake on it. There was carrot, vanilla, chocolate, and red velvet. I could feel my mouth water as she placed two forks down.

“So, for any cakes that we do make, we can obviously do any form of icing. But traditionally, red velvet and carrot always have cream cheese icing. I do my own little spin on both, of course.” She babbled, giggling. “And then for the vanilla, I did vanilla icing. And the chocolate has chocolate icing as well. Go ahead and dig in.”

I grabbed a fork and sliced a piece of the carrot cake. I took my bite slowly, enjoying the sweetness of the icing, with a hint of cinnamon. I glanced up at Colby as he did the same, his eyes landing on me with a hidden smile.

“This is really good. And I don't usually like carrot cake. But this... so good.” Colby spoke, covering his mouth.

“That's great to hear. And what about you, Y/N?” Casey turned to me.

I praised. “Delicious. I love carrot cake, so this hits the spot.”

“I'm happy you enjoy it. I love a good carrot cake myself,” She confessed. “So, where are you guys planning to get married?”

“In Santa Monica. On the beach.” Colby stated.

My eyes widened, staring at Colby quickly. He gazed over at me, a smirk on his lips.

“A fall wedding on the beach?” Casey puzzled.

“Yeah. It's never really fall here anyway.” Colby commented.

“That is very true,” Casey chuckled. “A beach wedding, huh? That's so fun. What colors?”

“Red and white. And with some black thrown in. For him.” I teased.

“Aww, thanks babe.” Colby winked.

I felt my heart skip a beat for a second. I tried to brush off the butterflies in my stomach as hunger pains.

Casey sang. “You two are adorable! Now, try the vanilla cake. It's our top seller.”

After trying the rest of the cakes, Colby excused himself to go to the restroom. Casey sat down in Colby's seat, scooching in.

“Now I have to ask, how long have you two been together?” She inquired.

“Four years,” I lied. “Basically as long as I've known him.”

“You two already act like an old married couple. I can see how much he cares about you.” She disclosed.

I squeaked. “Really?”

“Oh yeah. It's so noticeable,” She swatted her hand lightly. “He's smitten, and I can see why. You are so sweet to him, and he just can't get enough. It's all in his eyes.”

Casey stood up and slowly cleaned up the plates, as I sat there in silence.

Was Colby really that into me?

Maybe she was lying. But something about her words stuck with me.

I’ve always had a small crush on Colby, ever since I met him. And everyone in our friend group knew about it. I always chalked up my feelings to me just being lonely and him always being there for me. But maybe there was something more in how I felt for him. The idea of marrying Colby didn’t seem bad at all. If anything, it was something I could see maybe happening. I mean, we were really close. And our friends always joked about us being a couple. Maybe they weren't jokes after all.

But does he even like me like that?

“Did you order the cupcakes, Y/N?” Colby’s voice broke my thoughts.

I stared up at him, stumbling. “Hmm? What? I-uh, no. I didn't.”

Colby’s dimples appeared as he chuckled at the fumbling of my words. “Okay. I'm gonna go order them then.”

I nodded, slowly standing up and grabbing my purse. I walked over to him, watching him pay for the cupcakes.

“Well, when you're ready to place an order for your cake, you let me know.” Casey addressed, handing Colby a business card and the cupcakes.

Colby assured. “Of course, Casey. Thank you so much for the samples.”

“And thank you for being such a fine gentleman. You take good care of Y/N, you hear?” She patted the counter near me.

He laughed softly, the both of us beginning to leave. “Absolutely. Have a nice day.”

“Same to you. Goodbye, my little love birds!” Casey waved.

We walked out of the bakery and back onto the busy street. Everything felt strange around me, like I just woke up from a dream.

Back to reality, I guess.

“She was... fun.” I remarked happily.

“Yeah, definitely.” He smiled, getting into his car. “I know what bakery I'm coming to if I do get married.”

I sat down, putting the cupcakes on the floor next to my feet. “We'll have to do this again sometime.”

Colby turned to me, his eyes snaking up my body and finally stopping on my face with a click of his tongue.

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Brock.”

[serowotonin]

˗ˏˋ 𝗴𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 ˎˊ˗

✰ PAIRING ( terushima yuuji x fem!reader ) ✰ WORDCOUNT ( 1.9k ) ✰ GENRE ( ansgt, songfic ) ✰ WARNINGS ( um one swear word, angst, implications of de*th )

all the memories that we make will never change we'll stay drunk, we'll stay tan, let the love remain and I swear that I'll always paint you golden days ♫ panic! at the disco

✰✰ NOTE.. so uH i think this is the first angst thing i wrote that im actually happy with and i know terushima isn’t someone a lot of ppl write for so to the few ppl who see this</3 hope u guys enjoy:”)

“Ughh where is it,” Terushima grumbled to himself as he pulled open drawer after drawer. He had searched all the cabinets, all the tables, and just about every inch of his apartment but has yet to find his phone charger. 

As he closed the second to last drawer on this shelf, which held no phone charger, he pulled out his phone and saw it had 1% battery remaining. Quickly, he unlocked it and went to his contacts. Before he could make a call though, the screen turned black and he was left staring at a faint reflection of himself.

“Damn it,” he cursed under his breath. “She’s gonna get upset again.”

He clutched the now dead phone in one hand and ran the other through his hair, sighing in exhaustion. Today had been tiring enough with work and now he had this to deal with.

There was still one more drawer he hadn’t checked though. So, he lifted his hand out of his hair and pulled it wide open. 

In it sat a small box. 

He knew of its contents the moment he laid eyes on it. He also knew opening it now would only make him feel worse, not to mention, it would definitely delay his plans.

But for some reason, a longing for nostalgia or maybe the person that brought such nostalgia, his arms unconsciously moved to take the box into his hands.

Your words echoed in the back of his mind as he traced his fingers along the edges of the box.

“It’ll be like our little time capsule. For us to open when we’re all old and wrinkly…”

A deep sigh escaped his lips. 

Every rational thought that came into his head begged him not to open it, to put it back, to forget he even found it. 

Instead, his fingers moved to lift the cover and lay it down on the floor beside him.

And there you were... a polaroid of you at least. 

Your lips were curved in a sweet smile inviting him in and breaking his heart all over again. Up until now, he could barely recall what your face looked like when you were happy, truly happy. He could only remember the tears and regret you had on your face towards the end… 

But seeing you like this again, the wideness of your smile, the crinkle of your eyes… you radiated a joy and happiness he had begun to forget in you.

He stared at the picture for a good minute before turning it around to see the familiar strokes of your handwriting.

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!’ and under it ‘(first pic taken with the polaroid my baby Yuuji got for me<3)’

“My baby Yuuji,” he whispered.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you,” he sang softly into your ear as he held you from behind, swaying gently in tune. 

“Happy birthday dear Y/n.. Happy birthday to you~”

You turned to kiss the blond and he pulled you even closer to him. 

“I love you babe, happy birthday...” 

The tiredness he had felt just moments ago seemed to have fluttered away when he found you again in the polaroids, and a longing burst from the depths as he put the picture down and picked up another one, his hands once again moving on their own will.

This one had the two of you standing together, backs facing the camera. It was taken at a beach when the sun was still high in the sky and the water glistened blue. But it wasn’t the scenery that appealed to him, nor was it the way the sun wrapped around you two in perfect golden light. 

It was how close you were to him. The physical distance between you two was barely existent. Your arms were wrapped around his waist and his were draped over your shoulders. 

‘Sea breeze, cute outfit, sand between my toes, and 1 Terushima Yuuji… Damn was today great.’

How he would give to be that close to you again.

“Ok 3, 2, 1…”

You clung on to him as tight as you could and he smiled, pulling you closer. 

At the sound of the camera click and the hum of the photo being printed, you let go and quickly turned around to thank the woman for taking the picture.

When you did that he felt off; as if a part of his body was just yanked away. It wasn’t an extreme feeling, nor was it painful in any way. It was more just a lingering emptiness that was put to rest a few seconds later when you were back by his side again.

He put his arm back on your shoulder and peered down at the polaroid in your hand. You were staring at the photo patiently waiting for the colors to fade in. And when it finally did, you smiled satisfactorily at it before tucking it away and flashing another smile to the man right next to you.

Terushima closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to clear his mind. It’s been years, he shouldn’t be dwelling on the past like this.

And yet, there was comfort in the pain the memories brought.

When he opened his eyes, they landed on yet another photo of you. And as he has been for a good part of his life, he was drawn to you. Reaching out a hand, he picked it up and let the memories wash over him once more.

After a while, he set it down and picked up another. And another. And another. Each capturing a moment with you he would never get back. 

It’s been years since he’s had to learn to live without you. Truthfully though, he never did learn how. The sun became a little dimmer, the rain a little harder, the breeze a little less refreshing. The world lost its vibrancy when he lost you. He adapted, got used to the dullness, but he couldn’t learn to live the same anymore...

He picked up another polaroid.

This one didn’t have either of your faces on it. It just showed the two of you holding hands against a dark background.

The bottom held no words but instead an arrow pointing to the right. Terushima turned the polaroid and saw a small envelope attached to the back. Curious, he opened it up and pulled out the piece of paper snuggled inside.

‘This one’s a bit longer than any other note I’ve written for a polaroid but… I kinda just realized smth really important. He drove me out at 3AM in the morning to get food because I said I was hungry. Then we sat in his car listening to some old mixtapes he had. They were pretty crappy but it didn’t matter. I love Terushima Yuuji. I’ve said it a million times before but last night it really hit me, hard. I love him in a way I’d never be able to love anyone else. 

I want to go on more dates with him. more stupid dates, more romantic ones, more 3AM dates, more cuddle dates. And even though it might be selfish of me, I want to spend my every breathing minute with him. 

If I can’t have anything else in this then I just want these golden days of ours to last forever..’

And before he realized it, tears were rolling down his cheeks. Fuck it all. He missed you. He missed the days you had together, the nights spent in each others’ arms. He missed you so much it tore a hole in his heart and all he could see when he looked at the sunlight drifting through the window was just darkness. 

It pained him to know that everything you wanted was all he ever needed. It pained him that he hadn’t realized this until it was too late. And it pained him most that you were never coming back.

Why’d you have to leave? 

He tried so hard to stop asking this question, and for a while, he was successful. But the polaroids, your handwriting, the memories, you.. there was just so much pain in the happiness of the past. 

But you were gone. He had accepted that long ago. 

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Terushima, you in here?” a familiar voice called from outside. 

Right, he forgot about Misaki. Wiping any tears left on his face, he put all the polaroids back in the box, covered the lid, and left the room.

“DADDY!!” a little girl yelled, running at him full speed. He bent down and lifted her into his arms effortlessly.

“Oh you’ve gotten heavier. How much has Misaki been feeding you huh?” he teased.

The little girl pouted as she pointed to the floor signaling she wanted to be put down. Terushima chuckled and did so.

Walking over to a slightly annoyed-looking Misaki, he muttered an apology for not going to pick her up and a thanks for taking care of his daughter. 

“Hey wait, you look like you’ve been crying… Are you ok Teru?” she asked, eyes showing her concern.

He let out a deep sigh. 

“I uh- I found a box with some old pictures of Y/n and I just-”

She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. 

“Look, I know you miss her and I know you know this, but don’t get too stuck in the past. Focus on what you have now,” she said looking in the direction of the young girl who had made her way over to the small pile of stuffed animals on the couch.

He rubbed his face and nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, thank you Misaki.”

“Ok,” she replied with a sympathetic smile. “I’ll be going then.” 

Terushima nodded again and after she said bye to his daughter, he walked her to the door.

Turning back he leaned on the wall and looked affectionately at the girl playing on his couch. She was still so young, but it’s been almost 5 years now that he’s taken care of her. 

Time seemed to fly by with her and yet it felt like so long ago he welcomed her to the world. 

He understood now the past and its memories were something to be treasured. It was not something to cling on tightly though. The golden days of the past are gone, but the glittering rays that coated the floor and walls of his living room tell him it’s a new age. 

It was an age he had to cherish well.

Deciding to do something he’s been putting off, he walked back into his room and brought out the box with all its polaroids and memories.

“Yui, come here. I want to show you something.”

She stared at him before taking one frayed teddy bear into her hands and walking over to her father. Taking his outreached hand, she looked at the box he held in his other.

Sitting at the top of the pile was a photo of a beautiful woman. The sun was shining bright in the background and the light swirled around her as if she was wrapped in a golden halo.

“Is she an angel?” Yui asked innocently, pointing to the picture.

“You got that right,” he replied with a sad smile. “She’s the most beautiful angel out there..”

He watched as the young girl picked up the photo, seemingly mesmerized.

“That angel is your mom.”

“My mom?” she echoed. “Mommy is an angel?”

He smiled and ruffled her hair, “She sure is, and you know what? She’s looking out for us from heaven, so you better be a good girl for her, okay?”

✰✰ NOTE.. pls lemme know if u guys thought this was angsty enough sdkjlsdg,,,, i dunno i can’t seem to tell whether angst is painful enough yet;-; also don’t mind the name yui dkglsd it was the first one i could think of T-T

✰✰✰ TAGLIST.. @lilikags @luna-in-luv​ @kureyama​

[bucksblr]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[cloveroctobers]

IBRAHIM JARVIS —

IG info/bio: @/OFFICIALRAHIMJARVIS | 130k followers | pro🏌🏿, & yes i was on that dating show...don’t obsess over other people, obsess over water, stay hydrated friends!

22 (23) years old

From Birmingham, England

Pisces sun? + Virgo moon + Cancer rising

Parents are both Afro-Antiguan and Barbudans + migrated to The UK once they were pregnant with their first child

They’ve been married for over 20 years

He gets his height from both of his parents

His mother keeps her hair buzzed short, cooks the best Antiguan food + loves creole seasoning, she’s 5’11, & works as a bank teller

His father is 6’5, works as a substance a*use counselor & does not believe in tough love as a way of showing you care about your children. He learned that the hard way growing up

Ibrahim is a pro golfer & dislikes tiger woods, “he’s a proper arsehole, typical American yeah?”

Got into the craft thanks to his maternal grandfather who was also into golf along with other sports & taught him all he needed to know. At first Ibrahim didn’t like it, found it rather boring & would rather stick to video gaming but his grandfather wanted to break his grandchildren out of staying in the house all the time

It kept him fit and also relieved any anxiety Ibrahim had in life and he had a good amount

He’s got an incredible swing, thanks to his long arms

He’s 6’3

Has three older brothers: Jesse (27) , Keithroy (25), and Reuben (24)

He loves working out and spotting other people, feels likes it’s a team effort & he’s a team player

Drinks gallons of water on a daily and nothing else, it’s even better if he puts fruit in it

Always eating fruit, for breakfast/with or after his dinner. Rather eat fruits than vegetables...yes he’s an adult but he can’t stand broccoli or radishes

Canon: hates seeing other people test their fruit to see if it’s ripe or not. But it’s fine when he does it himself, he just thinks about all the germs that are on other peoples hands when they’re doing so; it physically makes him sick & irritated if he ends up touching the fruit that’s mushy/lumpy

He’s a big fan of comics. Always has been since he’s a kid and has a huge collection of them, his oldest ones are packed away in a couple of crates (in his loft room that he uses as a extra storage room) since he no longer has space in his room. Yes he has no shame (and shouldn’t) of having them on display even tho his oldest brothers clown him for it

Massive fan of black panther & was hyped when it first came to theaters. Saw it three times in one day

Was heartbroken when Chadwick Boseman p*ssed

He’s awkward at expressing himself & sometimes it makes him feel misunderstood & it’s frustrating

Hates people that come up with these ideas of him instead of allowing him to collect his thoughts and speak them the right way

Yet he can be the type of person that wants to ignore issues and hope they go away

He wishes people had enough patience like he did with others in the world

He seeks advice from his dad, since he’s a counselor & everything yet it’s slightly different?

Can be a sweetie & very romantic in relationships

Will do the most (he won’t see it that way) & drop $ on you if he wants to...buying things, trying & failing to DIY, doing wealthy ppl shit, expensive trips— canon: taking his girl to Spain? Was it? Or Italy? I don’t remember... the whole 9

Had 1 gf before the villa. He broke up with her for being too flashy with his things & found that she wouldn’t have liked him if he didn’t have a bit of money

His parents live with him. “They’re basically my roommates until or if they find a house they like.” He didn’t go overboard once he got his first paycheck, he didn’t need a mansion but he did go big enough, industrial style but homey with some minor modern touches for his dream home—he didn’t want it to feel cold or penthouse-like

Isn’t too flashy on the socials but will post something every now & then if he feels the need to show it

Doesn’t post much of his face, mostly what he’s doing in the moment...lots of golfing pics!

Dresses like a dad but it works for him. Loves a good snug polo & plaid trousers/regular that are cut above the ankle, “those are highwaters innit?!” “No mum, it’s the style.” Rolled up jeans, tall white socks & some patterned, baggy sweaters, fancy hats, picks oxfords over sneakers, etc...

Definitely takes the time to iron/steam/press his underwear & socks

Enjoys getting his hair braided, isn’t tender-headed at all (must be nice)

Only grows his hair out during the fall/winter seasons or cuts/gets a shape up

When he posts about his tournaments or time at the golf course, he can always count on Bobby to comment the usual... @/returnofdamckenzie: do you ever have moments where you Reenact troy bolton on the lovely green grass? @/officialrahimjarvis: Idk whether to block u or have a laugh mate, yes i had to look him up!

Dated Jo for about 5 months after the villa until she broke up with him, finding that their lifestyles were too hectic for them to continue, at least that was her public statement to the fans but they really grew apart & the “love” was no longer there

Ibrahim seemed to be more upset about it than Jo in the beginning resulting in snappy replies for awhile, which again stems from him not knowing how to express himself

She checked up on him A LOT, almost as if they never broke up but Ibrahim felt like he needed his space now. They talked it out the best they could over dinner and got closure but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting. He just didn’t think it was needed to be calling each other everyday to see how they were both holding up. If they were done, then that’s what they should be

Jo didn’t see it that way. She still cared for Ibrahim, that didn’t mean that they had to stop talking in her view. She wanted to know how he was coping, and was known for “sticking her foot in her mouth” so that was also a flaw in their relationship

She would say certain things that touched on how she was feeling but didn’t express them at the right times & then there was Ibrahim who didn’t know HOW to say the things he felt which left jo to assume things

Ibrahim was back to the single life and he hated it. He wanted someone he could come back home to, someone that wanted to be with him for the long run. A part of him feels like Jo wasn’t planning to be with him for the long run in the first place and in a way that was okay? Sometimes you don’t know where you’re going in relationships but there should be some sort of goal? Maybe? At least that’s what he thought. Yeah they had fun but he wanted more someday

He was still young he didn’t need to be hung up about it right? Sike. He didn’t know how to take things lightly. That wasn’t how he was built. And to get comments about his ex relationship and have fans dragging him about his choices in the villa A YEAR later!!! Was disheartening

Shannon seemed to be doing well. He thought they would still be friends, at least that’s what she showed before she left the villa. Before he got her dumped. They talked a couple of times since then, jo personally wasn’t a fan of that—Shannon didn’t care but it was clear there was some tension still there

Until he contacted her just to realize she probably had his number blocked but her IG was public and she had a new man & was traveling about

His dad and Reuben were the only ones rooting for them

He had no choice but to be happy for her. Who was he to come in between that? Not that he wanted to but it’s a natural reaction to wonder after a fresh breakup, “what if?”

Talks to Priya every so often now. He seems to find comfort in her, it’s the same for her on her end

His mother has a feeling Priya is the one her son will end up with. Even if she is older...Keithroy also liked her the best

While Jesse seemed to be the only one who supported his relationship with jo

I honestly thought he would have liked Hannah in the beginning but idk if it was him or Gary that said she was too unrealistic when it came to love? I think they both said something along those lines which is odd since it seems Ibrahim has no problem treating his girl like a princess

Probably only has one special dish that he can cook the best & it’s gumbo. otherwise hes out of the kitchen or having his personal chef cook for the family

Goes live on twitch—when he has time, playing many games with the boys from the villa, which pleases the fans

Talks to them all as much as he can

Noah seems to be the first to always text back since Bobby is the one who’ll start off responding in minutes then forget to text back cause he’s off doing handstands or booping people on the nose or some shit, Gary always ends up busy doing something with his nan or for Lottie—but Noah’s always around

They seem to be the closest outside the villa, they mesh well & hang out the most when they can

he likes having his sound on & LOUD when he texts! There’s something so satisfying about hearing the clicking of texting to him

Watches a lot of sports on the Telly, it doesn’t have to be just golf. Usually watching that sport sends him right to sleep while the others keep him active/vocal...yes he’s a tv yeller

Holds sports parties at his home & invites all of his family & mates, he HATES having to clean up afterwards. If it wasn’t for his mum he would save the cleaning until the next day yet he doesn’t mind cleaning his car twice a week

Continues to make his violet man drink & wouldn’t be opposed to someone giving him a endorsement deal for it

Is the “I love everybody!” Drunk

Enjoys yard work over cleaning the house

Has his own customized golf cart that he keeps in his garage

He likes driving that more than his Buick suv tbh

Wants kids some day, not too many, not too little just right— he’ll probably have two but for rn his Doberman pinscher is his bby

Either ends up with Priya with slight insecurities that she’s too good for him or he falls in love with a tennis player, either way I’m fine with both

Crushes/his type? : Jojo Levesque, SERENA WILLIAMS, China McClain, Brie Larson, Victoria Pedretti, Nathalie Emmanuel, & Keke Palmer

Listens to: Aminé, Big Sean, Frank Ocean, Brent Faiyaz, Pink $weats, B Young, Ali Gatie, Russ, Raveena, Jessie Reyez, Rayana Jay, Cosima, TianaMajor9 etc...

Anthem = Lucky Daye, “Buying Time”

[rebelwith0utacause]

thanks for tagging me @pxrxmoore ^^ This looks cool!

feel free to answer all of them or just some of them or just ignore this all together, whatever you’re comfortable with, and then tag however many people you want!

1. what was your first encounter with fanfiction? 

I think the first time I ever came across fanfiction had to be either with Paramore + other VWT bands (ATL, BVB, The Maine) on Buzznet or with Avenged Sevenfold on Wattpad. I’m leaning towards the latter because I was reading stuff on Wattpad since 2007-8 and I listened to A7X more (plus I stopped reading/listening to new A7X stuff when Jimmy died in 2009/2010 which is also around the time I became active on Buzznet). Idk, it’s been so long and that entire era of my life is extremely blurry.

2. your favourite creation of your own of all time if you create stuff (feel free to link it)?

I once made a 10 ft macrame half hitch spiral braid out of wool. Basically just braided and braided until I no longer had wool (I might have added a bit more). I think I wore it 2-3 times as a belt, but it didn’t matter. It was something cool I could do and no one knew about it.

3. what vibe are you going for with your home decor (or what vibe do you wanna go for one day, if you don’t have your own place atm)? 

Don’t have my own place atm, but def something IKEA-ish, mainly whites and/or that greyish kinda light wood. I just like stuff that look pure and clean and would let my plants be the highlight. I’m thinking green minimal with lots of DIY furniture and white linens. 

4. first fandom you ever joined? what was it like? on what platform did it happen? 

Tbh, I feel like nothing compares to my 5sos phase so I’m gonna say 5sos. I’ve definitely been in others too (A7X, ATL, Paramore, Marvel/Tom Hiddleston, James McAvoy) but I’ve never been so immersed. Same goes for my metal bands, probably because most of them were either dead or disbanded by the time I started listening to them actively.

5. what are your sun, moon and rising signs, and do you think they make sense in relation to how you know yourself? 

I’m a Gemini-Cancer cusp sun, Pisces moon and Taurus ascendant and tbh I didn’t believe in this shit very much. But the more I started reading up, the more it clicked and made sense. I feel like I’m little bits of all, the good, the bad and the ugly but there are also sides of me that you see, sides I allow you to see and sides I keep hidden very deep inside my psyche that even I hardly see them and it just makes fkn sense.

6. if you write and/or read fiction (original or fanfiction), do the tropes/plots/character types you typically seek out to read and/or write about reflect something about you as a being or how you see the world?

I don’t necessarily think they do, but they might. I’m pretty sure I have a “nurse” syndrome irl so to counteract that need to help others I read fiction where others are helped (because probably deep down underneath all of that fixing I’m doing, I need someone to fix me). And by fictive fixing I mean all kinds of fixing whether it be actual wounds or psychological healing or even socialization and sex, it doesn’t matter, I’ll read it all. I’m also a very analytical person so I love doing a psych evaluation to both the characters and the writers.

7. what is the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far in life? 

There have been many and I always see the level of impact they had on me after I’ve overcome them completely and taken a few years to just dissect what happened. So I don’t know if these are the hardest but the most pivotal in my life so far have been learning how to overcome my fear of vehicles while battling depression at the same time, as well as learning how to stop feeling like I didn’t do enough to prevent someone else’s suicide.

8. what is your all time favourite song(s)? 

This is really hard because I listen to too much music tbh, but let me see: 

- Milice by Foltin, it’s a song in Macedonian about a girl called Milica and this guy is reminiscing about the beginning of their love, it’s just such a chill fusion song. 

- Youngblood by 5sos, it basically sends me into another dimension where I feel the hurt, anger and disappointment he’s feeling as well as the helplessness of knowing you’d probably never get over this person. Yeah, his voice has that much power over me.

- Face of Melinda by Opeth, this is a part of a concept album and while the backstory is pretty dark, the melody is so soft and serene and temperamental and violent at times, I just love it so fkn much.

- Nobody’s Wife by Anouk because we all have those badass bitch songs and mine happens to be this gem, followed by You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette.

- Outlines by All Time Low, idk what’s the deal with this song but it came out during the time when I was young but felt very old and I just couldn’t find my place in the world so I replayed the shit out of it and it somehow helped me heal.

9. what do you look for in a person you wanna keep in your life, be it a friend or a romantic partner or anything in between? 

I kinda don’t look for anything in particular I just look for traits that would piss me off and say buh-bye to those people from the get go. Like... I need ppl to be politically aware and vocal, but not politically blinded, I need them to be eco-conscious and I need them to hate capitalism as much as I do. I need them to be modern thinkers but not to a point where they believe and stand for every fad coming from Western civilization. Basically someone grounded and being able to evaluate the situation without being constantly swayed by others’ opinions. Some might call it stubborn, but I really think that globalization has made us lose the good side of our ego. The part that makes us stand for something we truly believe in and not just be another sheep in the herd. 

10. this is a bit of a difficult one, but have you ever had a moment of clarity, a conversation with someone that made you go “oh!”, or anything along those lines? 

It’s happened a few times, but I’m really self-reflective so those things are to be expected of me. The last one I remember was around March last year and I was in group grief therapy and the psychiatrist was basically talking about how to deal with grief and suicide prevention and how talking helps and we talked about dreams and overall health and such and during those conversations he talked about PTSD and what helps to alleviate the symptoms and get over it and my EUREKA! moment came when I realized I’ve been healing my PTSD unknowingly on my own for the past 5 years. Basically that was such a great experience and it put so many things in perspective for me. I mean I come from a society where all things mental health are brushed under the carpet as if they don’t exist. And I’m definitely not the type of person to label shit and feel helpless because I can’t fix it. If anything, I’d def get angry and try to fix it myself because I hate being in limbo. And hearing someone voice my thoughts and fears and tell me that I’ve been doing great was just... Idk, felt like a pat on the back and a tight hug at the same time. 

tagging @karajaynetoday @krindy33 @twilightmomentswithyou @tigerteeff @myloverboyash @talkfastromance4 @notinthesameguey @ashtonlftv if you want to do this or haven’t done this before :*

[jjmaybankx]

congrats on 200!! tell us the story of all of your crushes (((;

OOOOPPPP ANON THIS ONE... THIS ONEEE okaaay y’all in for a RIDE. imma give them all codenames so it’s easier to talk about them HEHE. i’ve talked about a few of them HERE so they’re gonna have their same codenames

DAN. dan was a boy in my kindergarten class that was just adorable, other little girls had crushes on him. he was just that kid. but he was also really modest and didn’t realize people liked him like that. he gave me naruto stickers when we were in the first grade because he knew i liked naruto, which was a big deal to me just because most kids when we were little thought it was weird i liked anime. he also taught me how to properly throw a football. our moms worked together at one point and now his mom is also my dentist, she used to ask me for updates on him when we were little. we were both at our moms’ work after school once and since both of our moms were still working, my dad drove us home. this crush lasted from kindergarten to like the second grade, and then when seventh grade rolled around we were really good friends. he used to sing 5sos in class when we were doing our assignments because he knew i liked them, but we drifted after seventh because we had no classes together.

SCOTT. scott was a boy i liked on and off from the sixth grade to freshman year of high school. he was also that kid. but he was new our fifth grade year, but i had known him for years because we took kickboxing classes together. so, i was basically his first friend. everyone fell for him while i was just like “huh” but then i was like “...oh fuck” then i liked him on and off through middle school, and i had told him because i really don’t care whether people know i like them or not. he ended up moving high school because he went to a private, but he came back the end of our sophomore year. it was a huge deal to everyone that he was coming “back home” and i remember seeing him and calling out his name because i didn’t believe it when people said he was back. it was that surreal, my heart is pounding moment. we had math together for the last few months. my friend was crying outside our class one morning when he walks up and is like “good morning ladies” and hugs us and then reads the room and is like “... you two okay?” we haven’t really talked since, we don’t have the same friend group like we used to.

KENNY. kenny was a boy that i liked when i was liking scott on and off. it was sixth grade, we both liked each other, but i was well aware sixth grade is not the age where i should be dating, so i didn’t let it go further than us liking each other. he didn’t let any of our friends know he liked me back, but everyone knew either way because we were always together and practically best friends. we had this routine where every day after school i’d ask him how he is, and he’d ask me how my day was, and then we’d talk until our parents told us to get off the phone. simple, school girl crush. i ended up “getting bored” and “tired” of the fact he wouldn’t admit to his friends he liked me, but in reality i just thought scott was cuter. sorry kenny!

CAM. cam and i were a messsss, seventh to eighth grade, during my on and off liking of scott. he and i had bumped into each other and i thought he was cute, so i called him cute boy. we then met at a school dance when one of my friends told him i thought he was cute, and all of his friends asked me to hang out with them for the rest of the dance. when a boy made my friend cry at the end i had gotten up and said i had smt to take care of, and one of his friends was like “she’s fiesty, i like her” he had some mental health issues that ended up becoming my issues and then it all just went from cute to toxic. he was a closeted gay, but now he’s not in the closet and we’re friends, mutually deciding to forget about middle school. but we ended up talking again this year since we had a class together, he still has photos of us from the summer before freshman year and texted me them cuz he found them in his room. 

PETER. man oh man, i’ve talked about peter before. he’s my guy best friend. he and i had met our freshman year of high school in french class, and we had sat in front of each other. the teacher mispronounced my name and i frowned and he was like, “oh... you look so sad” and then proceeded to mispronounce my name himself. apparently, the people who sat at the table with us thought we were dating, even though that was the first time we had met. apparently, a lot of ppl in that class thought we were dating because one of the girls in my pe class asked me if he and i were fighting because her friend in my class noticed that, even though we sit next to each other, we hadn’t been talking and she had thought we broke up. and i was just like “...we’re not even dating...” and apparently her friend was like “...no... pretty sure they are.” LOL. we were fourteen and dumb, and this was my first time catching real feelings. and since it was high school, everything was dramatized and over exaggerated, i was annoying asf, he was immature asf. we didn’t talk for a few months, but eventually, everything calmed down and we became best friends. we facetime a lot, we’re each other’s 4a.m “hey are you awake” text. our families became friends, his mom loves me like her own. his friends, my friends, my family are always like “will that be a thing” and i’m always thinking it in the back of my head, but we’ve got a really good friendship going on. i secretly tell people that if we’re not married by 28 then i’m making him marry me LMAOO. i truly do hope that the person i end up with isn’t him just because i like having his as my best friend.

JOSH. this one broke me. josh was my best friend my sophomore and part of my junior year. we had a lot of mutual friends, including peter. but, when we started to become friends, right off the bat it was a toxic environment. his two best friends hating each other and he was also hanging out with my ex-best friend, who his best friend also hated. so... long story short, one of his best friends, my ex-bestfriend, me, and him all would hang out, pretending everything was fine between us. then, his best friend and my ex-best friend would fight over a fucking boy, and so he and i would kinda go off on our own. he was just always being pulled in three directions. but he lied to me the entire one year and a half duration of our friendship. we had a summer fling the summer before our junior year, and he had lied to be about his own experiences and who he was talking to. we weren’t dating or exclusive, but the fact that he had said he had no prior experiences, i felt lied to and betrayed, because it was all under false pretenses. he treated me like shit basically, and i just kept justifying it saying that i loved him so it was fine. it was def a give-take friendship, and i would just constantly provide support, literal food, literal material things, and he couldn’t even give me emotional support back. i kept trying to justify that i wouldn’t stay in this situation if i didn’t love him, but it was really just manipulation. i always had considered him my “first real love” but after finding out he had been lying for so long, i realized i didn’t love him because i didn’t even really know him, yanno? i wrote a book that was loosely based off of him, so that was what was good out of it. i came out a strong person, and honestly? i would do it all over again if it meant i would feel as strong and as good of a person as i did right now.

WREN. i work with him, one of my absolute besties. i thought he was cute for a while... and then... well, read the next person BAHA.

ALEC. Alec was a college boy who worked with my dad, our siblings also worked there together. when is started working there my sophomore year, i had met his brother first, aka Wren, we became quick friends, and i had thought he was cute. eventually, though, i had met alec. he was the mysterious one of the two, the quiet guy. we only really ever saw each other in passing, and eventually, he became a team lead. i remember the first times working with him and getting confused because he always giggled around me or my friends would say he was looking for me, but he’d never actually talk to me. so, last summer we ended up working together a lot as i got transferred onto his team, and we instantly just had a good bond. everyone, his boss, our coworkers, his brother, my dad, were just like “…soo… y’all gonna… address this… chemistry or??” we just clicked. from the music we listened to (one time he passed me and we were listening to the exact same song) to our hobbies in high school, we both took the same electives and had the same passions. he’d take me to and from work whenever i had to walk, once sent a whole team member to pick me up at 6am cuz he didn’t want me walking in the dark. he was even my escort for my debut. i feel like this one could be considered me being “in love” just because i truly cared about him and he truly cared about me, but i think it might’ve been right people wrong time perhaps? he had just met someone right before i told him how i felt about him, and our chemistry was just natural, everyone could see it. we had an “age gap” considering i’m graduating and he’s in college, but to us, we were always just both two young adults, yanno? so maybe some day he and i could revisit and actually be in love, i dunno.

and that’s all my crushes in my past 18 years and 6 months of life!

[citysvein]

                *   //    𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴   …   /𝚃𝙷𝙴_𝙲𝙾𝙾𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙾𝚁   :    chloe   kim   also   known   as   zero   is   wanted   for   grand   larceny   .   she   is   a   twenty-three   year   old   cis   female   who   has   ties   to   the   mastermind   because   she   hacked   into   his   private   server  ;   once   at   the   request   of   a   benefactor   and   another   time   for   fun   .   𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳   𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷   :   strawberry   flavored   bubblegum   ,   the   glow   of   a   computer   screen   in   a   dark   room  ,   tattoos   hidden   by   oversized   sweater   sleeves   ,   &   cyber   stalking   your   exes   .   𝙳𝙾   𝙽𝙾𝚃   𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴   𝙵𝙾𝚁   :   yoo shiah   .  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK  STATS  !

full  name  :   chloe   kim   .

nickname(s)  :   chlo   .

age   :   twenty-three   . 

codename   :   zero   .

role:   the   coordinator   .   

zodiac  :   gemini   sun   ,   gemini   moon   (  click   !  )

sexuality  :   bisexual   .

alignment   :   chaotic   neutral   .

pinterest   :   (   click !   )  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY  !    (  tw  :  death  &  car  crash  )

chloe   kim   was   born   in   and   raised   in   ann   arbor   ,   michigan   .   there   was   nothing   truly   remarkable   about   her   childhood   —   she   was   an   only   child   born   into   a   middle   class   family    .    her   mother   was   a   professor   and   her   father   was   a   physical   therapist   ,   and   they   were   very   happily   married   ,   so   she   had   a   stable   life   .   ann   arbor   was   a   fittingly   normal    place   to   grow   up   .   nothing   too   out   of   the   ordinary   ever   seemed   to   happen   .

the   only   anomaly   in   chloe’s   unremarkable   existence   ,    it   seemed   ,   was   herself   .   from   a   young   age   it   was   obvious   she   wasn’t   like   most   kids   .    she   was   decidedly   smarter   ,   an   intelligence   that   impressed   the   adults   around   her   .   her   parents   often   described   her   as   a   highly   curious   ,   if   not   a   little   naughty   ,    child   .   it   seemed   like   she   was   born   with   the   desire   to   know   how   the   world   around   her   worked   ,   and   it   wasn’t   uncommon   to   find   her   tinkering   around   with   her   toys   or   household   objects    ,    taking   them   apart   just   so   she   could   learn   how   to   put   them   back   together   .   

she   graduated   from   high   school   at   sixteen   ,   a   year   early   ,   and   was   offered   a   full   ride   to   MIT   ,   which   she   gladly   accepted   .   moving   to   cambridge,   massachusetts   marked   the   most   interesting   thing   to   happen   to   her   yet   .   she’d   long   dreamed   of   excitement   ,   the   only   thing   she   had   to   entertain   her   back   home   being   her   love   for   computers   .   chloe   was   ready   for   a   change   ,   which   was   exactly   what   she   received   .  

free   from   the   confines   of   being   that   one   smart   girl   in   ann   arbor   ,   she   didn’t   feel   pressured   to   conform   to   the   idea   of   her   that   had   been   carefully   crafted   by   the   people   back   home   any   longer   .   she   didn’t   just   have   to   care   about   school   ,   or   be   shy   about   how   she   unironically   loved   reality   tv   ,   or   pretend   like   pink   wasn’t   the   absolute   best   color   in   the   whole   world   .   facing   comments   from   nerdy   boys   about   how   she   was   too   pretty   to   be   smart   or   about   how   she   was   clearly   in   the   wrong   class   seemed   like   a   small   price   to    pay   if   she   could   finally   be   herself   .

MIT   ,   however   ,   did   feel   like   the   wrong   place   for   chloe   most   of   the   time   .   she   realized   very   quickly   that   while   she   was   gifted   and   bright   ,   she   had   no   passion   or   drive   to   pursue   typical   careers   the   way   most   people   in   her   major   did   .   she   also   had   a   knack   for   using   her   skills   in   unconventional   (   if   not   illegal   )   ways   ,   like   when   she   started   charging   a   pretty   penny   to   hack   boyfriends   suspected   by   their   girlfriends   of   cheating   ,   or   hacking   into   the   local   police   database   to   browse   through   people’s   criminal   records   like   it   was   the   equivalent   of   reading   gossip   magazines   .

at   the   end   of   her   junior   year   ,   after   voicing   her   concerns   about   whether   or   not   university   life   was   for   her   to   her   parents   in   one   of   her   weekly   calls   back   home   ,   they’d   made   the   decision   to   go   surprise   chloe   .   after   flying   into   massachusetts   from   michigan   they’d   rented   a   car   and   were   on   their   way   to   drive   up   to   her   dorm   when   they   got   into   a   fatal   accident   .   there   had   been   a   nasty   storm   that   night   ,   and   chloe   can   still   remember   how   she’d   gotten   a   severe   thunderstorm   warning   alert   on   her   cellphone   moments   before   she   got   the   police   call   informing   her   of   what   happened   .

in   the   blink   of   an   eye   her   life   had   gone   from   average   to   tragic   .   she   couldn’t   process   the   death   of   her   parents   —   there   was   no   other   driver   to   blame   ,   nothing   faulty   about   the   rental   car    they’d   been   driving   ,   only   the   weather   and   the   slippery   roads   .   chloe   would   have   surely   flunked   out   from   MIT   had   her   professors   ,   who   mostly   harbored   soft   spots   for   the   girl   and   were   especially   sympathetic   towards   her   situation   ,   not   given   her   the   few   credits   she   needed   to   graduate   that   spring   .

armed   with   an   IT   degree   but   not   much   else   ,   chloe   went   back   to   ann   arbor   for   her   parent’s   funeral   and   the   selling   of   her   childhood   home   .   realizing   she   had   no   place   to   go   afterwards   ,   she   became   a   bit   of   a   vagabond   ,   spending   the   entirety   of   her   19th   year   living   out   of   motel   rooms   in   various   cities   .   not   in   the   head   space   for   a   full   time   career   ,   and   with   her   mind   still   foggy   from   mourning   ,   she   started   picking   up   where   she’d   left   off   in   college   in   terms   of   odd   and   illegal   ways   to   make   money.   

when   she   was  20   she   caught   the   attention   of   someone   she  quickly   realized   was   important   ,   a   client   with   a   request   and   a   payday   like   nothing   she’d   ever   seen   before   .   all   he   wanted   chloe   to   do   was   hack   into   someone’s   private   server   ,   and   so   she   did   .   she   didn’t   ask   questions   but   she   did   snoop   around   ,   a   small   act   or   curiosity   that   would   forever   change   her   world   .   what   she   found   was   almost   incomprehensible   ,   a   network   of   some  sort   with   the   most   detailed   plans   and   profiles   .   never   having   been   motivated   by   any   sort   of   moral   compass   before   ,   chloe   couldn’t   explain   why   she   lied   to   the   man   who   had   hired   her   ,   claiming   she   hadn’t   been   skilled   enough   to   get   through   .   

he’d   bought   her   excuse   ,   another   man   who   couldn’t   see   past   a   pretty   face   to   the   brain   behind   it    .   for   months   afterwards   chloe   tried   to   forget   about   the   things   she’d   seen   and   read   ,   that   exciting   world   she’d   only   discovered   by   chance   ,    but   she   just   couldn’t   let   it   go   .   she   was   inexplicably   drawn   to   whoever   was   behind   it   all   ,   proving   it   when   she   hacked   them   a   second   time   around   ,    this   time   for   her   own   entertainment   and   satisfaction   .   she   couldn’t   explain   it   —   especially   not   when   she   left   behind   a   trail   this   time   around   ,   wanting   to   be   caught   ,   wanting   so   desperately   to   be   contacted   .   

when   chloe   is   recruited   by   J    ,   it   feels   like   the   first   blessing   since   her   parent’s   deaths   .   it   wasn’t   the   money   she   was   interested   in   ,   but   him   ,   the   way   he   makes   people   feel   special   and   needed   filling   a   void   she’d   never   let   herself   admit   she   had   in   the   first   place   .   she’s   loyal   to   him   ,   and   so   she’s   loyal   to   the   crew   ,   and   for   the   first   time   in   her   whole   life   it   feels   like   she   might   have   found   the   place   she   truly   belongs   .         

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY  +  TIDBITS  !

thats   right   ...   i   made   her   a   double   gemini   baby   !   😈   its   just   chaos   all   over   as   u   can   imagine   ...   gotta   love   a   sexy   sign   aha   no   im   not   biased   <3   she’s   got   a   pretty   good   balance   of   intelligence   &   curiosity   in   her   ,   so   instead   of   coming   off   as   a   know-it-all   she’s   more   likely   to   come   across   as   nosy   .   she   just   loves   to   figure   stuff   out    .   whether   it’s   code   or   people   she   wants   to   know   how   things   work   .

generally   speaking   ,   she’s   pretty   easy   going   !    when   it   comes   to   her   relationships   with   people   she’s   not   that   high   maintenance   ,   in   fact   sometimes   it’s   easy   to   mistake   her   easy   going   attitude   with   aloofness   or   disinterest   ,   which   isn’t   the   case   at   all   .   when   she   does   get   annoyed   though   she’s   not   shy   about   letting   you   know   how   she   feels   ,   and   she’s   got   a   BIG   potty   mouth   ...   it’s   like   when   people   have   road   rage   SJDBWJDBJW   she’ll   curse   you   out   in   a   short   burst   of   anger   then   decide   she’s   over   it   before   you   even   have   time   to   process   what   happened   . 

since   she’s   been   on   her   own   pretty   much   her   whole   life   (   no   siblings   ,   no   set   group   of   friends   )   it   was   a   bumpy   adjustment   to   go   from   having   no   one   to   being   part   of   a   team   .   she   definitely   wasn’t   upset   by   it   ,   but   chloe   can   get   into   trouble   sometimes   because   she’s   got   a   knack   for   always   saying   what   she’s   thinking   without   filtering   herself   first   ,   so   she’s   definitely   started   some   arguments   or   hurt   some   feelings   on   accident   </3   

loves   to   joke   around   and   treat   things   like   they’re   no   big   deal   ,   even   when   they   are   .   this   is   especially   true   when   it   comes   to   her   own   abilities   .   she’ll   casually   mention   hacking   into   a   number   of   high   security   facilities   and   servers   and   how   she   bought   a   new   sailor   moon   hoodie   in   the   same   sentence   like   it’s   nothing   .

almost   always   either   dressed   in   pink   or   black   ,   or   a   combination   of   the   two   .   she   swears   she   owns   clothes   in   other   colors   but   those   two   are   definitely   her   defaults   .   switches   between   more   casual   street-styles   and   girly   attire   on   a   day   to   day   basis   .   owns   many   sanrio   themed   articles   of   clothing   ,   accessories   ,   and   plushies   and   will   accept   zero   criticism   about   it   !    

chews   gum   a   lot    ,   but   especially   when   she’s   working   on   her   computer   .   she   claims   it   helps   her   focus   but   who   knows   for   sure   maybe   she   just   likes   chomping   and   blowing   bubbles   ...

she’s   a   serial   dater   .   chloe   finally   had   to   force   herself   to   swear   off   tinder   because   she   kept   doing   extensive   background  searches   (   hacking   )   on   the   people   she   was   going   on   dates   with   .  still   cyber   stalks   her   exes   but   she   swears   it’s   purely   an   act   of   public   service   since   they   were   all   insane   (   in   her   opinion   ,    which   is   never   wrong   )   and   she’s   just   trying   to   make   sure   they   haven’t   committed   any   major   crimes   aha   x   

not   very   good   at   being   romantic   or   emotionally   vulnerable   SDBWJDBJW   truly   the   thought   alone   is   terrifying   enough   but   when   she   watches   pride   and   prejudice   alone   at   2am   she   cries   so   your   girl   has   it   in   her   she’s   just   not   there   yet   <3   physical   intimacy   she   has   no   issue   with   it’s   just   the   serious   stuff   that   makes   her   want   to   eat   glass   ...   or   so   she   says   .

has   questionable   drinking   habits   .   can   she   out   drink   a   man   twice   her   size   ?    sure   .   should   she   be   putting   that   to   the   test   at   10   am   at   a   chili’s   after   a   night   out   ?   absolutely   not   but   it   100%   happened   and   she   would   probably   do   it   again   because   she   simply   pretends   her   mistakes   never   happened   in   the   first   place   and   that’s   why   she   never   learns   !

absolutely   refuses   to   talk   to   anyone   about   her   life   and   what   happened   to   her   parents   .   she   still   hasn’t   fully   grieved   or   processed   it   ,   and   honestly   speaking   she’s   been   using   the   crew   and   J   as   a   coping   mechanism   almost   .   chloe’s   adamant   belief   in   the   heists   they   do   and   their   capabilities   as   a   unit   has   less   to   do   with   the   real   chances   on   whether   or   not   they   can   pull   something   off   and   everything   to   do   with   the   fact   that   she   needs   things   to   work   and   she   needs   them   to   be   together   .   that’s   why   she’s   usually   one   of   the   first   ones   to   pep   talk   people   when   there   are   doubts   .   she   can’t   risk   losing   a   second   family   /: 

low   key   addicted   to   getting   tattoos   .   it   started   with   tiny   ones   on   her   fingers   and   wrists   and   now   she’s   thinking   about   getting   a   sleeve   ...   if   only   she   could   decide   on   what   to   get   tattooed   #AirSignThings   x   don’t   ask   her   to   make   decisions   if   you   want   an   answer   before   this   decade   ends   .

strawberry   is   her   favorite   fruit   and   flavor   !   if   she’s   not   chewing   strawberry   gum   ,   she’s   drinking   strawberry   milk   .

once   started   an   instagram   to   review   different   mozzarella   sticks   after   lorde   was   outed   for   running   an   onion   ring   reviewing   instagram   .

won   a   goldfish   at   a   fair   when   she   was   in   college   ,   named   him   stinky   ,   then   cried   for   a   week   straight   after   she   found   him   floating   dead   in   his   fish   bowl   the   next   day   ...   she   hasn’t   had   a   pet   since   </3   

if   you   ever   tell   chloe   good   job   she   will   act   cool   in   the   moment   but   at   night   when   she’s   trying   to   go   to   bed   she   will   look   like   this   🥺   never   forgets   a   compliment   she   loves   them   even   if   she   pretends   she   doesn’t   need   them   ...

told   myself   i’d   make   this   short   by   not   adding   a   plots   section   and   it’s   still   a   novel   truly   i   hate   this   life   .   once   again   i   am   asking   u   to   add   me   on   discord   glo lovecore ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172   and   plot   with   me   💖   also   my   intros   are   always   winged   so  if   i   start   writing   as   chloe   and   her   personality   does   a   180   like   dua   lipa   said   PLEASE   mind   ur   business   that’s   why   i   made   her   a   gemini   ok   😭😭😭   pls   enjoy   this   meme   chloe   has   probably   sent   to   ur   muse   at   least   once   ...

[ixnova]

That last episode of AHKJ: Exiled was really awesome and cool, but it’s also left me with a few more questions that go unanswered so now i’m just kinda sitting here pondering it all like

Anyway if any of my followers want to hear me ramble on about the fucking lemurs from one of  Madagascar’s spin off show click that read more link.

Okay so like one thing that’s developed into a theory early on for me is that I’m pretty fucking sure King Julien is a Demigod. Let me explain why. So like I know cartoon logic is a thing and all but throughout the show Julien relies a lot on luck, he does posses a niche skill set and is able to fight, but he does so rarely. Most of his antics, is pure luck. He’s more lucky than any other character in the show though, I know he’s the main character and all but like, there’s something off about his levels of luck. Furthermore he seems to be aware of his luck, as he often doesn’t worry too much about danger, leaving it up to “the sky gods” and “Frank” to decide his fate. Given the show up until this point I’m going to have to side with him that yeah, he really doesn’t have to worry. Now he mostly can’t just sit still and be fine, he does have to at least dodge and be active, (of which. KJ is very agile and i’d add that to his list of skill sets, though he is a lemur so it’s a given he’s able to duck and weave around a lot of obstacles with ease) but for the most part as long as he’s trying to save his own skin or help others he’s going to be okay because yes, he is apparently blessed by the sky gods. The main reason why I believe he is a Demigod is because he has been chosen by the sky gods to be the new king to replace the previous King Julien (Whom was Current Julien’s uncle so to avoid confusion the show, and I, will use “Uncle KJ” when talking about him.) The history of the Julien Kings have proven that all of them haven’t seemed to be very faithful or good leaders. Uncle is a tyrant who kept the ppl miserable and dull, living in fear of the Foosa, something we were introduced to on the first few episodes. Later on we learn about other Kings such as King Julien the Terrible who turned his people into slaves. and hell even KJ’s own parents are complete douche’s who don’t care for their people. Julien was different though, he was the first King to actually care about his people. Sure he’s reckless, takes awhile to realize danger and caused a few accidents here and there but overall KJ has been the best King to take the crown to date in the Lemur Kingdom. The Sky Gods were probably watching him and just waiting for that faithful day when Masucoura (sorry if I butcher some names) would scare Uncle into giving Julien the Crown. She probably knew that the King wouldn’t get eaten, and she put in motion whatever plans Frank and the Sky Gods had for Julien. Taking the crown from his uncle and not dying, meant Julien didn’t have to give it back when his uncle returned, and thus he remained the King. Following this he liberated his people from the Foosa, and has since went on to make history for his Kingdom. The Fact that Julien doesn’t die from a lot of things he should though is because of that goddamn luck of the Sky Gods, they want him to be king! He only gets a battle scar from the Foosa, they do things like strike lighting when it’s convenient, have a sacrificial Balloon fall just when Julien needs it to, etc. They are sending him signs that they are watching over him and he’s damn well aware of it by now and is taking advantage of it. He even made reference himself that they didn’t need to worry during the war because “The Sky God are giving us luck right now!” This is only part of the evidence that he’s a Demigod though. Given his knowledge of his luck I don’t believe King Julien is actually aware of the power he possesses. The thing that stands out the most to me that Julien was chosen to be this Demigod is the fact he has canonically, DIED, and come back to life MULTIPLE TIMES, not to mention was allowed to fight for his life on trial one of those times and was granted life again once he proved that he truly does care for his people, even the one’s he’s accidentally killed. While he may coward out when the chips are down, when the problem is actually serious and Julien must act on his own he will. He tossed himself out of a blimp to fix the issue that was preventing take off, dangerous but he did it - he went after a monster in a sub, or what he thought was a monster though, by himself, to get his friends back. One of the time’s he died was a willing sacrifice to save his friends. Julien, if it’s the only option, will lie down his own life for his people, (he offered a few times to give himself up to Koto and other times when his capture would result in freedom for his people from more minor Villians) and that is what the Sky Gods need in a true leader. A king. Julien fits the bill.

But wait we’re not done here though, outside of his insane luck which Is actually not luck but his blessing from the Sky Gods, Julien does have some fighting skills of his own. He’s actually able to be quite bad ass if the moment calls for it, and a lot of it though I heavily head canon is based in his ability to dance. He needs a beat to unlock his true potential which explains why a lot of the times he sits on the side lines and has either Clover (usually) or the Gods do the work for him. But that first goddamn episode, He kicked some Foosa ass with the power of music. He has skill. He’s done it a few more times too with his own beats. It actually makes me angry they didn’t write him fighting more often because Julien CAN fight, and I wanted to see more of it. He pulled off a few punches and took out some mountain lemurs in a small clip from the final battle, and that was fucking awesome! Did I mention Julien is actually really smart though too? Well clever. He’s very dumb when it comes to some basic stuff, social skills, etc, but when it comes to things like, escaping capture or out thinking his enemies hes damn good at that too. He’s very sneaky when he wants to be and skilled at manipulating other people. I’m convinced he’s the type who’s just playing stupid so that people never expect more from him, so that when he does more, it’s a surprise and gives him the advantage. That said though, no he really is stupid in regards to being self-centered and arrogant and doesn’t know what half the bullshit he says actually means though lol. Its a fair trade off. Okay so like going back to my main issue with the final episode that caught my eye and makes me go HMMM and ties into the Demigod theory. Julien accidentally killed Koto by dropping the rocks from the statue on him once Sage had defeated him (the whole Exiled arc really does wonders for Sage as a character too btw and I now love him as a result.) and I would also like to point out Julien has only ever killed accidentally but that’s a subject for another rant - anyway at the end when they pointed out the ghosts were also celebrating - Koto’s ghost appeared with the rest of the ghosts, but these ghosts were only the ghosts from “Frank-ra-lah” (Their version of heaven). Julien clearly stated that him not seeing Maurcie’s ghost when he was on trail and saw these other ghosts, must of meant he thought Maurice was in their version of hell, (it’s never named, just referenced as “the other place” and a dramatic shot of ground) so therefore, Koto was sent to heaven even after all his wrong doings and misdeeds, and this just makes NO sense to me because Koto was evil right? He did bad things. He took over the kingdom caused lots of people to die, etc. What fucked me up the most is King Julien saw his ghost and the two made eye contact and... Nodded and smiled at each other? FUCKING NODDED AND SMILED? AS IF, TO SAY, A JOB WELL DONE? I guess it could of been seen as Koto’s very honor-bound and just saying “you were a worthy foe, Julien” but the fact Koto’s ghost is in Heaven, makes me think... Was it all a test? Was this SET UP? Sure Karl mentioned he set the whole invasion up but did he really? I think he’s lying about some things and I’ll see more about that when finishing up the main show, as he said he’s not finished yet, but I don’t think this was Karl’s doing. I truly honestly think this was the Sky God’s testing Julien. The ultimate test, to see if he’s really fit to be a ruler. Koto was a ploy by the Sky Gods and served his purpose well that’s why he was let into heaven. And I almost feel like, given the fact Julien nodded back in response? It’s like he realized? He knows it was a test and he passed. He’s finally (maybe?) aware of his status/relation to the Sky Gods? And like it makes a whole lot of sense though given that Julien’s people were finally willing to put their lives down for him the same he would for them? They accepted him as the one true king of Madagascar. THIS WAS ALL A TEST, AND HE PASSED, AND I JUST- Listen, Marty, Alex, Gloria and Melman really didn’t know what the FUCK they were getting involved with when they washed up on the shore of Madagascar is all I’m saying.

[princettegil]

There's been something I've been meaning to talk about for a while now but it recently came to a head about a week ago and I've came to realize that the medical field is probably one of the most uncaring amd worst places to work for someone with mental illness! You'd think the medical field would understand, right? Nope! Out of all the jobs I've had, none have been this bad at working with me or helping with my issues. I won't go into detail about what happened but I haven't had much in the way of anxiety attacks in the last couple years (cept for a couple incidents.) All in all, I've been doing stunningly better! However, when I have a job I tend to have a lot more anxiety issues (no matter what the job is, it just seems to happen.) So I've had about 3-4 attacks since I started work at the beginning of this year at a hospital (working one of the lowest rungs that still deals with patient care.) But that's to be expected; I figured that would happen since it almost always does, but I was intent on trying to sticking it out this time. Now, I don't like pity - let's just get that clear right now. I don't like pity, I don't like bothering people, I try my best to at least be as good as my peers at my job and I absolutely abhor bothering people with my issues (be that mental illness stuff or standard job difficulties.) Basically, I try to hold my own as best I can and I don't like to mention my mental health issues unless it's clear they're absolutely becoming an problem. Well, first (technically 2nd but the real first was a very small and not full blown attack) anxiety? A nurse happened to be in the room with me and took me to the main office where they let me chill a little and transferred me to work with a less trying patient. That's good! That seems reasonable yeah? Though what they did I agree was a good move, the way the nurse (an RN mind you) acted towards me was... odd. You'd expect a nurse to be well trained with things like anxiety or panic attacks and know both how to help out and seem considerate, right? Well... you'd be very wrong! Though she wasn't mean she didn't seem to understand at all what was happening to me even after I told her I was having an anxiety attack. She clearly didn't know much in the way of how to help me calm down or even deal with me at all working on her floor. But whatever, maybe she was tired? Nurses work their asses off after all! Maybe she just wasn't well trained with anxiety issues? It could happen. I gave her a pass in my mind but noted how it was strange for her to be so seemingly uncomfortable with a simple anxiety attack, especially one of a coworker. My 2nd anxiety attack went mostly unnoticed and I dealt with it the way I normally do. Took a break to go to the bathroom and try to chill out, stayed there a bit longer than my break actually allows but made sure I was okay before going back to the patient's room to continue my shift as normal. At the end though I made sure to inform my supervisor that I could no longer work with said patient because he was behind my prior anxiety attack as well. They didn't really agree but that didn't disagree with me either that they'd make sure I didn't have to work with him again. Then the 3rd anxiety attack. The big one. The awful one. The one that really forced my realization. Like I said, I won't go into detail on what happened. Lots of things happened that night all at once and some caused serious issues but are unrelated to the topic of the hospital's treatment of anxiety attacks. But the stunning thing I did realize was just how non-understanding and non-accomodating my supervisors (years long medical workers, especially in nursing fields) could be. At one of my last jobs, though they ran everyone to the brink of exhaustion and stress (causing many people to quit around the same time, including myself) they at least we're kind when they realized I had anxiety issues. It didn't actually work out the way they promised but they were willing to work with me and make simple accommodations to help me out (like working in the back when the store got really busy.) They were also very understanding and assuring even though I was terrified that they found out. At another job, though I didn't stay long last the first month's training classes, they were also understanding and my trainer took the time to explain how she understood what anxiety was like and gave me plenty of time and space to calm myself down (we got along so well I even friended her on FB after I quit and she's still really nice to me.) Basically, my other jobs were understanding. They didn't pity me (thank gods!) but they were open, supportive, understanding, accomodating and those coworkers who had been through similar really helped commiserate with me which helped me feel more comfortable knowing I wasn't alone. The hospital I work at now? None of the above! They weren't mean mind you, they technically said just enough to make it so that I probably couldn't sue them for treating me differently due to my mental disabilities (I have no intention to) but it really did seem like they wanted to put in the bare minimum of care to make sure that didn't happen. Did they tell me how they understood that anxiety was difficult to deal with? No. Did they try understandingy issues? No. Did they ask or try to accommodate me (like helping me to find a more suitable job there or letting me know I could ask to switch patients if things got hard? No. Did they seem any bit empathetic or even sympathetic? No. They gave me time to calm down (though they seemed pretty ansy for me to hurry up and breath so I could talk or rather, listen to them.) They said they were worried a couple times (while seemingly sounding and looking like they didn't give a single shit and were simply required to say it.) Did they at all mention anxiety is a disability or offer any tips for dealing with it? Nope! Instead they told me, in only slightly prettier words, to suck it up, deal with it on my own, don't cause problems, and that it's only gonna get worse from here. Not exactly kind or what you'd expect from medical personnel huh? In fact, that's my main concern - it was MEDICAL PERSONNEL! I could see this with grocery store staff or call center supervisors and probably write it off as just being ill informed or more caring about the cash and not the employees. But... trained, licensed, careered RNs and nursing staff!?!? Staff that I KNOW have had to deal with and care for mentally ill patients of all sorts? Staff that likely occasionally have to help out in the adjoining psychiatric center!? People whose job is literally to care for other people!? This is what disturbs me! This is what concerns me! If they treat a fellow employee like this then how do they treat the actual patients with problems!? Look, I know nurses don't have it easy! I have both family and friends who are CNAs and RNs and I know some of the shit they go through and how stressful it is. Especially since starting a hospital job and seeing stuff firsthand, I have MAJOR respect for those that can do such jobs! You guys have to have balls of steel! No... platinum! Dear gods the shit you ppl go through! I can easily see why you'd be frustrated especially with a coworker who can't handle the shit you deal with daily! I get it. I can see why you'd snap at patients and even eventually experience burn out and stop giving a shit in general. Hell, I wouldn't blame you one damn bit! But I would hope most of that would be split decisions, heat of the moment type stuff. Not when you've had almost an hour to absorb what's happened and had plenty of time to think through what to do or how to act. If you treat your co-workers like this, how would someone expect you to treat your patients? Not one of the 6 jobs that I've had treated my anxiety issues THIS BADLY! I'm talking data entry places, places with tiny cubicles, telarmarketing places, call centers, grocery stores, RETAIL stores! If nothing else I'd expect at least understanding from medical field workers! My supervisors, even a few of my coworkers - did not only not seem to understand but didn't even care! I was told by one to pretty much man up or quit! And some of these people, I KNOW have either personally dealt with mental health issues themselves or know someone close who has. Even if you know the job is tough, even if you know it may get worse, even if you've personally dealt with worse - you can't even say something as easy as "yeah man, this shits hard, I get it."? If I ever mentioned how hard my night was, my coworkers in the group chat didn't even care enough to respond. I mean, I'm sure you've had hard nights too! Let's talk about it! Let's commiserate and complain together! There's over I of us on this shift and I know you all have gone through shit, let's let off a little steam about it! There's gotta be at least one of you who'd love to rant it out! I find when you complain together about a tough job it makes you feel better knowing there's others in the same situation. Just knowing you're not alone can help a lot! Heck, answering every question you know the answer to with "just call the supervisors" cause you can't take 2 mins to say something like "click the x button on the menu" to help a coworker is a bit extreme isn't it? That last anxiety attack I had suicidal thoughts for a short bit in the midst of the worst part. I asked my supervisors for any advice they might have (hoping they might share some of their 20+ years of health field knowledge) they ignored my question and sent me straight to the ER even though I told them I was fine now. I can see the reaction for legal reasons but they didn't seem worried about me personally but how it may affect my job. They refused to listen to me. I went to the ER. Sat there, had blood work done and answered a few questions about how I was feeling and they let me leave. Why? Because they had determined I was fine and no threat to myself or others, just like I had told my supervisors. They never did give me advice. But they did screenshot my phone to show HR. So no, I don't want pity and I don't want people to get super worried about me but I'm always worrying that I'll be fired because of my anxiety attacks and the least a supervisor or coworker could do is tell me they understand it's tough (the job or the anxiety) or give me helpful tips or listen to me or ask how they could help. But being ignored, told to man up, told to quit, treated like I was just a legal risk and quickly unloading me onto anyone else they could - that's not how you treat someone! Someone with anxiety, depression, mental illness, learning disabilities, young people, old people - ANY PEOPLE! And what's worse is you are MEDICAL STAFF! You should KNOW about this stuff. You should KNOW how to handle it! You should KNOW to at least act like you care! You should KNOW how to comfort or calm someone or make them feel comfortable and not just like a legal risk or a bother that you don't want to deal with! HOW TF DO PATIENTS FEEL ABOUT THIS KIND OF TREATMENT!? My managers are always complaining about inspections and how the hospital is rated by patients and why and how to improve our scores. Well, as someone who's been an employee and now a patient too, lemme tell you your main patient displeasure issue - YOUR ATTITUDE! I thought before that some patients were just asking too much of the staff but now I know that they were right. But it's not about getting your apple juice quicker it's about being treated like you're either just a giant thorn in their side or a pit of money! Maybe next time I won't ignore that survery phone call.

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine park woojin as your classmate

project partners to dating partners :’)

(( AS REQUESTED // omg since ure a woojin stan can i get a request where y/n and woojin study in the same course after his wanna one activities (before he debuts in brand new music) and got closer after a project andddd you can write whatever after that LMAO :^) THANK YOU ))

okay so ure a fan of wanna one

who isnt tbh

and lucky u bc it turns out tht ure going to college w the one and only park woojin!!!!!!! (srsly tho what r the chances)

u forgot tht woojins age is kinda similar to urs bc he always acts like a tough guy on stage or a little kid off stage and u forget that hes a student like u

anyways

its a little weird to get used to seeing him in person after all the pictures n videos uve seen of him online

like?? hes a Real Person??? what a wild idea

and even tho ure both in the same college course, u try to keep ur distance

as much as ud like to befriend him, hes still an idol (even tho he hasnt debuted w brand new yet) and its rlly hard for u to start up a conversation w someone famous

also ure lowkey worried tht its going to ruin how much u admire him, and that actually talking to him will destroy how highly u view him

little do u kno hes seen u around campus before n thinks ure pretty cute

;))

okay but anyways

u make sure to stay out of his way bc the last thing u want is to bother him by asking for a signature or picture or smthn

u try and keep a minimum of like 10 yds between u at all times

(bc itd be even more embarrassing if u tripped right in front of him and that was the first thing he noticed abt u)

but lucky for u, life doesnt care what u have planned

bc its only a month into the semester and u already have a huge project assigned

of course, it’s a partner project

it might be okay if u were able to choose ur partners, but ur teacher insisted on trying to help everyone “bond w their classmates” so its all completely random

unfortunately for u, u get sick the day that ur teacher assigns partners

so u have no idea who ure paired up with

ure stuck asking some of ur classmates, but none of them rlly remember

everyone was a bit busy stressing out over their own partners tbh

and u keep asking around a bit, but u only know so many ppl in the class so eventually u kinda give up and hope ur partner isnt too bad

u settle on focusing on ur other classes, studying for future exams and reviewing ur notes in the library

even tho ure not sick anymore, u still feel a bit drowsy from all of the different medications u took and all of the work u were trying to catch up on

so. all excuses aside u fall asleep

prob not the best plan esp since some of ur things are balancing on the edge of ur desk

but the heart wants what the heart wants, and it rlly wants to sleep

ure having a rlly weird dream abt pirate monkeys when ure jolted awake by someone bumping into ur side

u look up to see someone sprinting away from u and like okay. thts a little weird

u try not to think abt it too much bc ure still kinda sleepy

so u settle on gathering ur things so u can head back to ur dorm and decide whether or not u want to study, sleep more, or find something to eat

as u collect everything, u notice a little post it note that hadnt been there before

in messy handwriting, it says “i didnt want to wake u but im ur partner for the partner project. im woojin and u can text me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] whenever u want to meet up i hope u sleep well”

u realize that ur partner is prob the one u saw sprinting away from u earlier after he accidentally bumped into u lol

somehow u momentarily forget that ur partner is THE park woojin and ure like aw cool this woojin guy seems nice

then ure like WAIT A SECOND

ure highkey in shock and keep pinching urself to make sure its real

so u end up taking the rest of ur stuff back to ur room and wondering how u should text him

eventually u decide on a simple greeting and ur name, and u ask him when hes free

u have to send the text and then throw ur phone onto the floor bc U JUST TEXTED PARK WOOJIN ABT MEETING IN PERSON. GOD BLESS

ure suddenly super grateful abt every decision tht led u to this moment

anyways

ur phone buzzes on the floor so u scramble to pick it up

only to realize tht its a text from ur mom asking how ure doing

u text her back and tell her not to worry, then attempt to clean ur room a little instead of waiting for woojin to text u back

u just finish reorganizing ur closet when he texts u

its a quick text, smthn along the lines of “im free tmrw afternoon, do u want to meet by the cafeteria” so u agree quickly and hope u dont seem too desperate

and u KNOW its not a date

u guys havent even spoken to each other before so???

but ure still rlly nervous bc its WOOJIN and u want to impress him, even if ure just going to spend most of ur time talking abt boring coursework

u both settle on a time to meet and u pretend not to freak out

anyways skip to the next afternoon

u get there a bit early but ?? hes there already ??? ldsjks

and he looks Really Cute like hes wearing a sweater and ripped jeans and looking like complete boyfriend material wow ure p sure u can feel ur heart stop in ur chest

hes a bit awkward but uve heard abt how shy he is so u try not to take it personally

as soon as he sees u he blurts out tht u look nice and that is not helping the way tht this feels like a date

u guys end up moving to a bench in the shade bc its rlly nice out and this way ure able to talk freely without worrying abt being too loud

he explains the project a little, and u guys go back and forth offering up ideas

he always nods super enthusiastically whenever u suggest smthn and its honestly the cutest thing uve ever seen

its so weird for u to remember that this is the same guy uve seen videos of online bc what the heck

anyways

neither of u are extreme geniuses in the class, but ure both still pretty smart

ure pleased to find tht u guys complement each other well, w different areas of interest inside the same field

it helps ur project run a lot smoother than u thought it would, so u guys split up the work and agree to do as much as u can before u meet up again

ur conversations are still a bit stilted bc ure both still shy w each other, but overall u seem to get along well so ure happy

u text each other every once in awhile to talk abt the project or ask questions

u meet up a few more times in the next couple weeks but its all work and no business

still, over time u find urselves joking around with each other a little more, teasing each other and talking abt urselves instead of the project

of course, all things must come to an end

so all too soon, the day u submit the final project arrives

and ure a little worried tht woojin is going to disappear from ur life again

bc maybe he’s only been this nice to u bc hes just a sweet guy, but as soon as the project ends he wont care abt talking to u anymore

after all, its not like u guys meet up for meals or to hang out that often - even when ure just relaxing w each other, theres always some part of ur convo tht centers around the class

so as ure freaking out over this

he texts u asking if u want to come over to his dorm while he submits it

and mb u guys can just hang out afterwards?

obviously u agree and u cant stop smiling

when u show up at his dorm, hes wearing sweatpants and a tshirt and he looks adorable as heck when he invites u in

u guys sit on his bed as he loads all the stuff on his laptop and u try not to be hyperaware of the space between u two

woojins also screaming internally but somehow u dont notice the way he keeps staring at u out of the corner of his eye

u click the “submit” button together and HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE also theyre shaking a little???? huh

u assume its just bc hes Extra Nervous for the project but honestly? no hes just never been this close to u and hes freaking out

but anyways

u decide to go out to eat off campus afterwards to celebrate being done

a lot of the places have long waits or are too expensive so u just eat at a chikfila

its rlly casual but its fun and u guys argue abt whether chicken nuggets or chicken sandwiches r better and u cant help but think abt how much fun ure having w hiim

u end up blurting it out to him on accident and ure v v embarrassed

but he laughs and admits tht he rlly likes spending time w u too

so u promise each other to keep hanging out afterwards

it gets to the point where weeks later, ure still texting each other to complain abt classes or ask abt the other persons day

it still feels like a dream tbh

but u guys enjoy each others company whenever u can

most of the time u end up meeting each other at the cafeteria or studying together in the library, but u both just rlly like spending time w the other person

this routine continues for awhile and its prob the best part of ur life

but at one point ure trying to sneak up on woojin and surprise him when u see him talking to himself

as u creep forward, u realize tht hes actually on the phone, and he looks kinda stressed

it feels a bit invasive so ure looking around trying to find a place to go while he finishes up his phone call

but then u hear him say ur name so. consider u INTERESTED

and he keeps getting flustered and shutting down anything tht the other person says which is weird bc hes p shy, but hes never usually tht adamant and blushy abt something

eventually he tucks his phone away and lets out a Huge sigh so ure like,, hey u good

and he laughs it off but u can tell hes a little antsy, so u decide to tell him tht u overheard a little bit of him on the phone, and u ask him what it was about

he literally turns into a tomato its so funny u wish u had recorded it

but hes like “HOW MUCH DID U HEAR”

even tho u tell him u didnt hear much, he refuses to believe u and he spends the next few minutes pouting

u keep trying to get him to talk to u normally, but he refuses

finally he ends up grumbling smthn and ure like ???

and after a few half hearted efforts to repeat himself hes like “just tell me u dont like me back”

and. WHAT.

he pouts again and its so sos sosososoos o so cute u think ure going to combust honestly

“i kno u heard me tell him tht i like u!!!! just tell me u dont feel the same and leave me alone to cry”

and u have to reassure him tht u definitely didnt hear that BUT ALSO what???

n hes literally mortified when he realizes ure serious

but he has this rlly cute determined expression like “ok well now u kno i like u!!!!! y/n, please go out w me???”

n its like OF COURSE and u tell him tht u like him too and he keeps smiling and acting shy

honestly u both just make each other super happy

when u start dating, its not too diff from when u were friends, except now ure more affectionate w each other

both physically and with ur words

he loves hyping u up, and u feel the same

esp when he starts practicing more to debut w the rest of the bnm boys

u support the heck out of each other and can always count on the other person to be there for u when u need it the most

honestly its super soft and ure totally proud to be a lowkey campus couple even tho u have to keep ur relationship on the down low bc of dispatch

still u both care for each other a lot and u wouldnt trade what u have for the world

[aegyotrashcan]

Boyfriend Joshua

@kyotocean: Heey, can you please write the boyfriend thing for Joshua from Seventeen? I really like your scenarios and reactions, keep up the good work!~ I hope you will have a nice day ♡

a/n: thank you! I’m sorry for the lateness of this but hopefully you like it ^^” I wish you a nice day too! ~

omg this nerd

where do I even start

maybe from the beginning?? lol

you both met while 17 were still training, when the original 17 members were there and you were a new trainee at pledis

he wanted to welcome you to the trainee world, to be your friend. esp. since some trainees could be vicious in their determination to debut before you.

but ... you were so attractive >////< and how do u talk to attractive ppl? what language do they use? do they bite?

it was Sammy who made the move to introduce him to you and you both clicked right away

that led to a lengthy friendship, to you supporting him every time he thought his group was close to debut only to be disappointed, up until they actually did debut

he’s had you with him, to wipe his tears and pick him up when it got hard, and he realized that you weren’t just his attractive friend anymore .. you meant so much more to him

it took a lot of courage but he eventually asked you out and when he told the guys you were dating, their exact response was;

“wait, you’re only dating now? I thought you’d been together for years??”

and even the rest of Pledis was like “???? so you weren’t dating before this?? what??”

It became kind of a Mandela effect in Pledis because everyone swears they heard you two started going out years ago but anyway,, that’s not the point

joshua is such a soft boyfriend oml

he can never say no to you and luckily for him, your requests are never crazy. because if you suggested jumping off a building or something as equally insane,, it would be so hard to say no.

but luckily you only ask for, like, ice cream at 3 am

which he’s all for since it’s an opportunity for you two to bond, sneaking out of the dorm while everyone sleeps and having some alone time over ice cream.

he loves admiring you

while you train, while you cook, while you walk and smile and talk

best of all is when you’re laying down together, cuddled up and he runs his arm along your arm or back, fingertips tracing the outline of your body.

those are the moments that he savours the most, when he can relax and breathe in your scent and feel your touch

you get lost in conversation,, about doggo’s and anime and video games. but about serious things too, about the injustices of the world, about how hard trainee life is or if there’s an anti out against him

those times usually get interrupted by one of the members

which neither of you mind too much. it’s nice having the guys around and they like being around you. you make joshua happy and he exudes a positive energy that people feed off of

but he always feels better after those times, more refreshed and reassured that as long as he has you, he can make it through anything

you wear his clothes

a lot

and the boys tease him for it

a lot

but he doesn’t care

he’s kind of a cheesy boyfriend and more okay with pda than you expected 17′s gentleman to be. but his pda is very innocent, such as hand holding or his hand on your waist or maybe a few light pecks on the lips

nothing crazy

not while the guys are around anyway.

he has a pure religious boy image that he needs to protect

he says things like “The stars are no longer beautiful to me since I looked into your eyes”

and has so many puns and dad jokes and he dabs too,, ugh, you’re so embarrassed to bring him out sometimes.

you acted like you didn’t know him once when he pin dropped at a party ((but 10 minutes later you joined him so no one was convinced)) ((also it was a Pledis party so everyone knew you two were together so ..))

he giggles when you kiss his nose but he loves it so much so don’t stop

he’s not the type to constantly text you but he does give you updates and checks in on you. he’s always sure to send a “how are you?” or “how was work/school today?” because he cares so, so, so much about you and your well being

you two take the cutest couple selfies ever

it takes a lot to irritate him so you can poke and prod and he’ll still smile sweetly at you a true gentleman

anime marathons

doesn’t protest if you want to do his hair or makeup or nails

actually, he finds it kind of relaxing when you do that, as opposed to when professional artists do, because he’s not got the nerves that come before a performance or a variety appearance

he knows there won’t be flashing cameras either

it’s just you two, having fun, in his room, and it makes him feel normal for a minute

joshua feels like he’s living his life like a normal twenty-something year old, having fun with his partner and acting goofy

“You know .. without you, I don’t think I’d be who I am today. You helped me through a lot of tough times and there’s not enough I can do to repay that. All I can offer you is my heart.”

[momiijisohma]

satoshis hands a rly big with thick fingers and calloused skin, short neatly trimmed nails that he is constantly picking soil out of. he has a binch of tiny scars from his years of yardwork and cooking bc hes stubborn and insists that gardening w gloves isnt as fun and cooking q gloves on is Weird?????? hes like a walking forest of human hair and his hands arent an exception, the backs f his hands and his knuckles have thick black hair. The way he touches things w his hands tho is suuuuuuuuper gentle?? he touches people like they were made of glass, and his fingers are rly nimble?? he used to play the piano a lot (one of the reasons masa got into music lol) and he cracks his knuckles only when he's stressed. he only wears the finest leather gloves bc hes bougie

milagro does just as much manual work as satoshi does but her hands are Significantly nicer, bc shes always putting on lotion lol. her hands arent small but theyre like. fat. and the softest hands on the planet, probably. she always has a rly nice manicure done, and she clicks her acrylics on surfaces all the time w/o realizing it?? she bites her knuckles a lot when shes mad or stressed and shes managed to break skin more than once and shes prone to getting paper cuts all the time??? she never fucking learns how to properly hold paper?? her hands get sweaty rly rly quick and its kinda gross but masas never even Once complained abt it.

hiroki bites his nails, but not to the nub, and hes always wearing chipped nail polish. instead of removing old shitty polish he'll just paint on top of it (which is why masa paints his nails for him for y e a r s). his nails get grimy rly quick but he never notices it and its Nastyyyyyyyy. his hands are rly bony and he has short kid fingers and he hates how hs hands look bc they make him look like a child (i mean, his baby face and tiny build dont help But). his hands are rly dry and cold and masa says they feel like Death. hes got torn cuticles and picks at them until they start bleeding and its rly painful but he wont stop!!!!!! hes also got big callouses on his knuckle where his pens lay

yasus hands are big for her frame and she doesnt like that so she hides them behind rly delicate frilly girly gloves?? she's a seamstress and her finger tips are calloused and the skin there is so thick she can stick a needle through it w/o feeling anything and masa h a t e s when she does that bc it makes her want to Die, but yasu thinks its super cool. she has rly long natural nails and repaints them every other day (or gets masa to paint them for her bc masas 10000000000x better at it) and she overuses alcohol hand sanitizer wayyyyyyy too much so her skin gets rly dry and irritated, so she like. fucking bathes her hands in heavily perfumed lotions?? she pops her knuckles all the fucking time and wont stop until her fingers ache

catriona could be a hand model if she wanted to. her fingers are long and elegant and shes never had to do physical labor a single day in her life so her hands are flawless?? she never moisturizes but her hands are still nice and supple and beautiful. and always covered in ink. she only gets her nails done when she has a social function to attend, and she just does basic french tips or solid colors. when her hair is down she is constantly combing through it w her fingers, and she gently picks out all the knots every morning instead or ripping through them. she clenches her hands a lot and when shes rly pissed she leaves deep marks in her palms.  her grip is strong and she throws things around carelessly, and she tends to pinch izzy a lot w/o realizing it?? like whenever she wants to get izzys attention she just. pinch the back or her arm or smth and izzy hates it.

izzys hands are actually a Very Normal size but shes so fucking Huge And Beefy that her hands end up looking like baby hands in comparison to the rest of her. her fingers and knuckles are rly calloused bc she exerts all her frustration via housework or punching things lmao. shes got a lot of freckles on the back of her hands but only a few on her palms??? she can count them. her nails are super super short but bc she cuts them, not bc shes a nail biter. izzy doesnt wring her hands but she like, interlocks her fingers and squeezes them rly hard when shes stressed. she doesnt rly touch people, unless she feels super comfortable around them?? one of her favorite things in the world is holding hands w people???? like catriona, she constantly runs her fingers through her hair, even when her hair is shorn off. she tends to hide behind her hands a lot?? when she smiles, when shes sad, when shes mad, etc. also whenever she DOES touch ppl shes super delicate?? shes ready to pull back her hands at the drop of a pin. also her hands have always just. been super fucking strong. she packs a lot of punch, literally. shes also super dexterous?? she never played an instrument in her youth, but in the empire she picks up the guitar and is p good at it rly quick?? and she is A Master cake decorator?? her piping is Amazing and she makes it look absolutely flawless. she Absolutely sucks at hand jobs tho bc shes always too rough bc shes Too into it. as an adult shes wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more touchy touchy Especially with her children?? shes always touching them, always fixing their hair and gently squishing their cheeks and poking their bellies and tickling them and trying to pry small toys out of their grimy disgusting mouths. and shes SUPER hands on in the military, she v quickly learns how to handle a wide range of weapons, but if theyre ever torn out of her hands she is Ready to use her Fists and She Will Win. also special note, she cannot stop touching her wife. she  subconsciously reaches out to touch her at all times, even if its just a light fingertip touch

masas hands are rly big and shes got long sturdy fingers and her hands are calloused bc of all the hours shes spent playing the billion instruments she owns. she shaves off every single hair on her body under her nose, and that includes the hairs on her hands, and she takes foreeeeeeeeevvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr shaving bc she takes her Sweet ass time with one of those lil eyebrow razors carefully taking every hair off her hands. her nails arent v long but theyre v well trimmed and maintained and Clean. whenever shes not at school she paints them and shes a Pro at it?? she hasnt had shaky polish on her right hand since she was 5 lol. and she pushes back her cuticles and puts fancy oils on them and everything her hands are always Super warm, and they get sweaty rly quick?? she hates it. shes super texture sensitive and that goes Double for her hands?? but even tho she KNOWS shes picky abt textures, shes still gotta touch Everything. her favorute textures are smooth or soft or fluffy or velvety textures, but that sure as hell isnt gonna stop her from sticking her whole hand in a jar of smile or poking at a snail trail or jacking off and getting jizz all over her hands bc shes a godless heathen masa also only ever touches people who she rly likes. but even then, shes not toooooo touchy w people???? she touching rly reach out to touch her parents or husband or even her children later on, but shes always fucking touching her wife. Always. izzy is her favorite texture. also masa wears a lot of full face make up bc the moment shes bare faces she starts picking at her pimples and its The Worst. she doesnt have tooooooo many scars bc she is very dedicated to her skin care routine, but. its still bad. also she washes her hands a billion times a day bc she h a t e s having her hands feel grimy. Also she gives The Best handjobs, no question abt it. tho she always kills the mood bc she HAS to go wash her hands immediately afterward. And shes super picky abt the lotions she uses too, she only ever uses unscented water based lotions bc oil based ones make her wanna cry i Really love talking abt hands i spent a whole fucking hour talking abt hands oh my god