#ever since i got a serotonin dump from yuri appearing – i’ve been very happy

[siilvan]

random post, but shoutout to 12 y/o me who got MW3 from her aunt one day and played it, expecting just to shoot stuff and not get into it… she didn’t know she had daddy issues even after clinging to every commanding officer in the game (sandman and pudovkin <3), and i didn’t know until years later that i clung to this stupid ass trio.

my boys. my idiots. my loyalist commanders. my war criminals. 2/3 are dead. 2/3 were ugly. yuri had no less than four missiles shot at his feet. nikolai’s face changed every single game. kamarov lived for drama and nothing else.

i loved them for no reason other than “teehee older man that i can substitute for my lack of father/older male figure.” yuri was silent 80% of the game. nikolai was perfect. kamarov appeared just to die. i didn’t even play MW2 or watch gameplay of MW1 until 2022, but i clung to this trio nonetheless 😭 soap, price, and team metal, as well (sandman my first love), but these three… special place in my heart.

(MWIII pics used BTC)

AND WE OFFICIALLY HAVE ALL THREE OF THEM IN THE REBOOT LETS GOOOOOOO

*sobbing on floor*

listen. listen. this doesn’t matter to anyone but me. i know i chose the worst group to attach my daddy issues to. in my defense, i was 12 and didn’t even know i had ‘em. honestly, “daddy issues” makes it sound too cute, i was a kid when i started getting comfort from these guys… call it father problems or paternal predicaments 😭

i’m just. look. i know how i look to an outside audience. i know how my blog looks to someone who doesn’t know me well; but, i’m not just fawning over every russian character. these three specifically, *tapping glass that they’re encased in*, are special to me. if i attach to them and pretend like they’d love me (romantically or platonically), then i can feel the love that i’ve never gotten from a father or an older male figure.

this is just a nonsense ramble because i’m so sleep-deprived, but you don’t understand. my boys are back and better than ever. nikolai eats everyone up whenever he comes on-screen. yuri actually gets to have a full name and cutscenes outside of “dust to dust”. kamarov isn’t ugly (gene farber 🙏) and they’re all just AKEHDKRJWJDKFJE.

i love them. i love the comfort they give me. i know it’s odd for me to cling to this trio of all people, but i have. my boys. my dumbasses. the reboot did them right. now, i just need them all on-screen at the same time.

i want them to have a podcast. i’d listen to it.