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touchitbaekhyun · 7 years ago

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QUERENCIA | HONG JISOO

querencia - (n.) a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.

You honestly dont even know how you never noticed. Out of literally nowhere, a guy randomly pops up, acting like your absolute dream man.

Having so many things in common with you and acting as if he's known you, your entire whole life.

Making you think he simply appreciated every thing you were, by the way he'd capture every single little thing you'd say or do.

And just over all, instantly creating a bond with you.

Becoming your rock and support after all you had been going through at the time. Going from being a girl without a family who'd get bullied day in and out at school, to becoming someones main priority, their everything, made you fall instantly in love.

He would always be ready to hear you out on whatever matter need it be. Taking you out for ice cream every time you'd tell him you were feeling anxious or upset.

Standing up for you whenever people would trash talk you over at school. Staying always by your side, making you feel accompanied always, in contrast to how you'd be alone before, and without anyone to even speak to.

In other words,he’d just succeed in making you feel like the most prized possession on the face of the earth. He made you feel like the happy and perfect heroine of a cheesy romance novel.

How he'd oh so beautifully, dedicate poems to you, or could go on hours talking about how gorgeous you were and how attached he had become to being with you, all the time.

Leaping you off of your feet, every single time he'd flash you that smile of his.

Only after a mere month of knowing each other, he had declared his everlasting love for you in front of the entire lunch, letting people all around know someone finally cared and loved you at last.

For you however, at that moment, the timing was perfect. You thought you weren't rushed into things at all, feeling like you knew him inside and out and wanted to be able to call him yours as soon as possible.

A few months after and you had both graduated, making you start work, in order to get enough money for college.When you started your job you began becoming busier than ever and yet he'd still be there.

No matter at what time you'd finish whether it was one in the afternoon or one in the morning, he couldn't care less and would instantly be at your home waiting for you, always a small gift in hand.

At some point, you were even ready to jump out and marry him if he asked the question. Thinking you were both madly in love and that the sooner you were married, the better.

Your new made co workers, would always tell you how surreal he acted. How they wished they had someone like him in their lives.

Others, would tell you things were going far too fast. That nothing good would have ever come out of a relationship that was built on overnight.

But you brushed them off, because you couldn't explain the butterflies going on in your stomach every time he'd look at you or simply talked to you.

Or even the feeling you'd get every time you'd wake up and see him there laying beside you, hands wrapped around your waist. You couldn't trust those people you would tell yourself, those who'd say It was far too good to happen truthfully.

You would just call them jealous, you'd say they just wanted to break your special bond, so they'd talk and talk to make you question his love for you.

Oh how awfully wrong were you. He had succeeded, definitely, but not in being the best man in the world, or being the perfect boyfriend. He had succeeded in stealing your heart, with the cruelest of intentions behind it.

You found out one day, when you overheard him talking on the phone.

“Its almost been a year, how long do you think I'm going to keep this act up? Its been fun and all but I have a life I need to attend to, my actual life, away from here. One where I don't need to pretend I'm in ‘love’ with a random girl you paid me to be with. Plus she's getting extremely annoying. Im through with this act. I’ll just leave soon, without a word. She’ll be crushed as you wanted, so I'm done here.”

You can't even begin to describe the pain you felt in your heart in that moment. Your entire body felt completely and utterly numb.

Your boyfriend, had been paid from the very start to be with you. To somehow leave you in the end broken.

You wanted to go over there and slap him until your hands would feel like falling off, punch him, scream at him. Ask him why he'd ever hurt you.

But you couldn't, you couldn't even comprehend why someone would be so heartless enough as to do what he, and the person he was on the phone with, did to you.

You waited, until he left, and then you waited even more for the perfect timing, to somehow get back what little dignity you had left.

You somehow during that week, discovered who had set this all up. You had gotten his phone while he was on the shower and had looked through his messages, hidden within all of his texts was one with the rich obnoxious guy who had bullied you, all throughout high school.

The same guy who supposedly, your ‘boyfriend’ had helped you stand up to. You could have never imagined them being friends or even talking to eachother.

Scrolling through the messages however, you noticed they were awfully close and saw how they'd talk abut you, making you seem literally even less valuable than trash.

You waited two more days, seeing as you still needed to overthink a plan perfect enough to pay for what they had done to you, most importantly, what he had done.

Today, is finally the day you're getting you're revenge on Jisoo.

You carefully stand up from the bed, looking to your right side at the bathroom door, making sure he's still showering, in order to not get yourself caught. You softly move onto the closet, the place where you had seen him store his money in, whenever he'd think you were asleep.

Standing up on your tippy toes, you grab onto the top shelfs black and get a shining gold shoe box, opening it to reveal what you could guess is easily more than fifty thousand dollars, you quietly gasp, as you never thought there'd be this much money hidden in here.

You quickly grab the money, and head on over to your bed, where underneath, a big suit case is hidden. You've been preparing the suit case with all your must have items.

So far, you had a bundle of clothing, bathroom care items, your makeup bag and a few perfumes. You throw the money inside and make sure to cover it up with a t-shirt as you lock the suit case and grab your car keys which were by the kitchen, rapidly going to your car, you ended up grabbing the suit case by its handle, and throwing it on the back seat.

You then make your way inside. Only to be greeted by an amused Jisoo, whom sat at the kitchen table, looking at you questionably as he seems to be surprised you were up and hadn't told him you were doing something so early as you'd always tell him even the silliest of things just to keep him in the know.

“You thought you had me all figured out didnt you?” you say, as you move toward him, looking up at him with nothing other than despise in your eyes.

“You know, I always thought you were perfect. But now looking back, I realize ever since the very start you were far too ‘perfect’ to be even begin to be real. I literally feel so stupid for all the time that I gave you, all the time I lost, oh my god.” you say as you chuckle bitterly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Are seriously acting oblivious right now? Im talking about you, getting paid to fuck me over. Thats what I'm talking about you insensible piece of shit” you say as you slap him across the face, making the sound echo throwout the apartment.

he suddenly grabs your wrist, and looks at you deeply, with an expression so cold, that it sickens you to your stomach.

“Sweetheart, you just made the plan fail. I knew I should have left a long time ago, with my money. But now, now.. don't act so strong, we both know you definitely aren't. I've seen you at your weakest points, I've seen how truly weak you can be love, theres simply no lying to me.”

he snickers as he holds you closer, smirking coldly almost as if he's enjoyed the entire time hurting you over and over again.

You can't help but feel hate for this man standing in front of you. If accepting to do what he's done, doesn't make him a terrible enough person, the words he speaks reveal his true colors, making him seem like the biggest asshole on the planet.

“Thats where you’re wrong. Sure you have seen me at my lowest points. But that itself doesn't define me to be weak, it simply shows I was too strong for too long. Aside from that, id like to let you know, that yes, maybe you did waste the last year of my life. But you should know, I did get my payback, ‘love’ and now, it is me who feels terribly sorry for you, seeing that after this, you wont even have money to go on. I hope one day you come to realize that you are the absolute definition of scum. Oh, and one more thing. Don't. Ever. Question what I'm cable of, again.”

you say as you pull yourself out of his grip and strike him by kicking his leg, which ended up making him fall onto the floor, as you rapidly sprint toward the door, slamming it open and making your way to your car.

Opening the drivers door, you quickly get in and slam shut the door, you then push your key into ignition and lock all the doors, as you see him running out the house, screaming for his money.

When you drive off, you end up seeing him, sprinting far back behind you, trying to catch up desperately.

Making your way into the highway, you turn on the radio, to try and help you clear your mind, in order to think of where you'll be going next, now that you don't live in that apartment after this. However one things for sure...

For now, no other man will get to be your everything so easily. As of right now, you'll be your own rock, you'll be your own home.

~admin ari♡

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msf-diamond-dog · 7 years ago

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DO ALL OF THEM!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?AT THE MOMENT THEY'RETattooed in Reverse - Marilyn MansonSAY10 - Marilyn MansonAnd Sadness Will Sear - TriviumThe Wretchedness Inside - Trivium It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door - UnderoathRunaway - Spoken2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Jana!3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.4: What do you think about most?See 25: What does your latest text message from someone else say?"Absolutely! That'd be great!"6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?With7: What’s your strangest talent?Idk man I'm bit very talented8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)wut wut9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?Nah10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?GOD probably today. I do it a lot it helps me think about how a song is put together11: Do you have any strange phobias?Trypophobia12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?I'm sure I did when I was a kid13: What’s your religion?Not religious but the closest would be Christian14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Walking to or from my truck. Or taking a walk.15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?BEHIND I don't like how I look16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?Korn!17: What was the last lie you told?Uhhhh I don't remember. I don't often lie18: Do you believe in karma?To an extent.19: What does your URL mean?It's a Metal Gear Solid reference!20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?Greatest weakness is probably mental health issues. Greatest strength is probably that I can just keep going no matter how shitty things get. Belief in something bjgger definitely helps with that.21: Who is your celebrity crush?Don't have one! 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?Nah23: How do you vent your anger?I don't get angry often but I usually use music!24: Do you have a collection of anything?Toys and games25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Phone26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?PFT NOPE but I'm always working on it. 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?The sound of snow squeaking hurts my brain. Andd I like any kind of percussive or clicky sound really 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?I don't think much about what if. I spend most of that time thinking about what can be I guess.29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Nah and to an extent.30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.My nightstand and my pupper31: Smell the air. What do you smell?Cold-ish air and clean bedding!32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?Albuquerque was pretty shitty and I live in Phoenix.33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?I literally don't give a fuck. 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?Idk man there's not many female singers with the music I like. 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?To love and help others any way I can.36: Define Art.Everything.37: Do you believe in luck?Mmmm kinda.38: What’s the weather like right now?Nice! It's finally starting to cool off from summer.39: What time is it?11:46 PM40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Yeah I drive. No, I've never had an accident 41: What was the last book you read?My vusiness textbook for school.42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?LOVE IT.43: Do you have any nicknames?Many. DJ and JJ are the most prominent44: What was the last film you saw?Oculous45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Uhhhhhh does depression count46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?Nope!47: Do you have any obsessions right now?New music that came out!48: What’s your sexual orientation?Straight49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?Yeah50: Do you believe in magic?Nah51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Very rarely but theres a person or two who I haven't gotten over yet52: What is your astrological sign?Gemini!53: Do you save money or spend it?Both54: What’s the last thing you purchased?Mexican candy!55: Love or lust?Love56: In a relationship?Complicated I guess.57: How many relationships have you had?NONE58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?Nope!59: Where were you yesterday?Home mostly.60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?Yeah, a pair of headphones61: Are you wearing socks right now?I am not62: What’s your favourite animal?DOGGOS63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?I don't have any. I'm really shy and awkward.64: Where is your best friend?Germany65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.My favorite is @the-wretchedness-inside!66: What is your heritage?Mostly hispanic!67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?I think I was binge watching Forensic Files68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?Idfk dude69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?Yes?70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?O man I fuckin suck71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?SAVE THE DOGGO 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?1 Nah, 2 Spend time with people I love and 3 nah.73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.They both go hand in hand friendo74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?Here to Stay by Korn75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?061776: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Love and trust and honesty77: How can I win your heart?Just be yourself if I like you I like yoy78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?Uhhh not like ACTUAL insanity79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Not killing myself tbh 80: What size shoes do you wear?11-1281: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?I want to be cremated or thrown in the garbage 82: What is your favourite word?Prolly fuck or several.83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.Jana84: What is a saying you say a lot?Fuck85: What’s the last song you listened to?JE$U$ CRI$I$ by Marilyn Manson86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?Blue, purple, and black!87: What is your current desktop picture?A MGS picture88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?Rachel Ray of the Food Network 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Idk man ask me a bunch and see if I get nervous90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?Go back to bed assuming I'm hallucinating.91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Teleportation!92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?I don't think I'd relive anything really. Sometimes the memories are better.93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Uhhh like 7th grade through highschool.94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?No one95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?Germany!96: Do you have any relatives in jail?Not that I know of.97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?Not while it was moving98: Ever been on a plane?Nope but I will soon!99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?Just quit being a dick, man.Thank you Jana! ❤

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disableddisaster · 8 years ago

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Do all of them ! Blease !!! I Stan u so hard I need the insider deets!!!!!

now THATS what i like to hear :))

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

asfgsfdg im only listening to after laughter rn

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

@gaysun but thats happening so idk. come to alberta tristan

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

theres not a single book in this room and im not leaving to go look for one

4: What do you think about most?

sfgafdgasfg idk myself, probably

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

”he drank ur orange juice the fuck” - you

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

just my underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent?

im gay

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are good boys are bad (noah fence i love u)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

yes actually :’)

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

man idk

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

FUCKIGN black BEETLES

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

i dont think so? kleenex?

13: What’s your religion?

man idk !!!!

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking to work or looking for dogs

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

in front im a vain bxtch

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

patd.............................................

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know i lied to my mom the other day but i told the truth five minutes later and i dont know what i lied abt

18: Do you believe in karma?

no lol

19: What does your URL mean?

bella swan is a big ass lesbian

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

dude i dont fucking KNOW who am i!!!!!!

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

kristen stewart.. . hayley williams..... shrugs

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no i dont want any BUGS crawlin around in there.there was an episode of greys anatomy when that happened

23: How do you vent your anger?

i yell to my mom tbh

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

MUGS

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting is so fun

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

NO LOL

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate: paper towels

sound i love: rain i guess

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what IF I fail at life completely wow

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES AND YES

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right, my computer. left, my cup!

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

man idk AIR??????

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

high school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

CANADIAN west coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

hmmmm bad question\

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

AUGHFGKDF not to be dramatic but there isnt one

36: Define Art.

dude i dont know. why is this so fake deep

37: Do you believe in luck?

NO !!!!!

38: What’s the weather like right now?

its dark out and im inside!!! i dont know!! i think its warm

39: What time is it?

12:25am :O

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes! and no

41: What was the last book you read?

eclipse..................sdfghsdghsdfgsfg

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

..............................who does......

43: Do you have any nicknames?

shy!!!!!!!!!!!

44: What was the last film you saw?

dgsfsdfg new moon!!!!!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i dont know!!!!!!!!! i injure myself a lot im clumsy

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no!!!!!!!!!!! let them be free.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

twilight, dragon quest 8, paramores new album,.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

TAKE A WILD FUCKign GUESS

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

YES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was awful

50: Do you believe in magic?

.......................no

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

YES LOL

52: What is your astrological sign?

im a libra :^)

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i cant fuckign save money for shit

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a grande coconut cold brew coffee with extra coconut milk :O

55: Love or lust?

what dpes this mean.

56: In a relationship?

no!

57: How many relationships have you had?

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

fun fact i have a really really short tongue

59: Where were you yesterday?

went to the bank in the city and the MALL and ate a sandwich

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

no :(:(:(

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

SOCKS ARE GARBAGE

62: What’s your favourite animal?

CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and sheep and giraffes. mostly cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

fgkdfgosfkg u think i have a secret weapon???????? bxtch i dont even like me!!!!

64: Where is your best friend?

i texted her and asked her one sec. ok she replied “im in my bed!!!!!”

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@gaysun @gaysun @hurricance @hurricance @popcornlesbians :)

66: What is your heritage?

idk! im ukrainian and french

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

playing dragon quest and listening to @quidditchlesbian s wild stories

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

this is so werid asgafdgadsf

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

duh

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i mean probably. im kind of annoying tho

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

sfgadfgadsf save the dog im not HEARTLESS my job gives me no hours anyways lol

a) probably bc i overshare b) probably just pet my cats c) sort of?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

TRUST

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

..................someBODY

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

2980

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust and communication also i think attraction is important tbh

77: How can I win your heart?

be a cute girl and be nice to me. maybe have a cute animal or smth

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

MMMMMMMMMM ABLEISM

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

gay

80: What size shoes do you wear?

5? 6?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

”gay bxtch”

82: What is your favourite word?

LESBIAN

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

i wish i was on my phone id add the yellow heart emoji

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

”wow id die for u”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

earlier i was listening to live in chicago

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

yellow adn PINK

87: What is your current desktop picture?

its a pic of bella swan

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

theoretically like donald trump but probably my abuser :)

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

bxtch u could ask me literally anything and id tell u. literally aything

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

go back to sleep. plot twist im actually just having a sleep paralysis episode

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the vegetables are mushrooms and ALSO iwanna teleport or fly

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the other morning i had a really relaxing breakfast at tim hortons i just listened to music and ate my bagel. it was nice

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

JSDFKJSFG u think i can choose? ur FUNNY!!

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

oh,,.. .my fucign god. tjis is such a loaded question,. HAYLEY WILLIAMS

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

JENNA (or nyc but shes not there rn so probably just wherever she is!)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

i think my bio dad was in jail once. maybe

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no ew throwing up is a huge fear of mine

98: Ever been on a plane?

yep i love planes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

“im gay”

THANKS TRISTAN

#homonormality

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frmdarts-blog · 8 years ago

Text

SPRING DAY - Vkook fiction

Note:

I dont mean to write fic actually. I was about to change my VKOOK spring day fanart video caption on my utube channel. I want to make a short poem but ended up making this short fic about them. I cant write a story in english actually (i’m still lacking in so many many ways). This is breaking all the writting rules bcs i dont think much about grammar, i’m really terrible at it LOL.

But i hope you can get the points.

Its just a simple story with simple choosen words, its very obvious, you dont have to search on google to know the meaning because once again i cant write in beautiful way.

I just meant to give a short drama for my fanart video. Just the story behind.

So lets begin!

‘,’,’,’,’,’SPRING DAY,’,’,’,’,’,’,’

Author: Frmd

Characters: Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung (Vkook)

= =

Jungkook’s point of view

= =

When will this winter come to an end? The air is as cold as usual. Even the 3 layers clothes i am wearing doesnt help much. People are busy chatting with their partner. Some talking about their planning to go holiday on the day of spring. Some talking about some cheezy-bullshit words of love. Some just doing a simple talk like “what are we gonna eat for lunch?” Even in this crowded train, i’m still searching for your voice. Just in case i could find your voice-the voice that i’ve known very well. The voice that i havent heard since last christmas.

Just in case i could meet you here unexpectedly. Just in case i’m lucky enough today. I’m still searching for that miracle. (After doing it like everytime i take this damn train)

Searching mode is finally on

I close my eyes to begin the search (?). Now the sound of the crowd is slowly getting smaller and is fading. The sound of your laughter is getting louder. And then your face is getting more obvious in my imagination. Now you are standing beside me, in front of the train’s door to be exact. I’m started to imagine that you are laughing. Your half face is filled by the rectangle shape of your mouth-which is so adorably cute (thats my fave).

And then about the heavy sound of your breathe that i could hear very well when you lean your head on my shoulder. It is somehow ticklish to me. But i like it for no reason. And then you keep talking about everything outside the window that catch your attention. Then you laugh as you start talking about some nonsense things. (Even if its hard enough to swallow, it seems fine for me. Everything you do will be fine for me. As long as it is you, hyung). Then it comes to the part when you feel tired of talking. You suddenly keep in silent for a while, grab my hand and hold it tight to warm both of us. I could feel the warmth of your wide hand palm. I could feel your finger playing with mine I could feel you inside my soul now.

I feel warm for no reason.

This search is failed due to my distracted mind.

I must be out of my mind now. = =

Taehyung’s point of view

= =

Why is it so quiet here? I’ve been walking for an hour to get here. I woke up late today (the alarm failed to wake me up) and i suddenly missed the sound of the coming train. Such a random thought to start a sunday morning. I know its definitely different now. I’m no longer live near by this station. And this station is no longer operated as passenger train, as it used to be. Things have changed. I have changed. You too. Ah, why am i thinking about the same shit again and again? When did i start to think about you? I look at my phone to check the time. 9.30 am? Wow. This is such an advancement bcs i can finally forget you for about 2 hours since the time i woke up.

/ I usually start thinking about you right after my eyes are wide opened at 6.30 am in the morning to i see my lockscreen (our selca edited in black and white mode). Actually i dont mean to see the lockscreen to really think about you since the early morning but i have to stop BTS to keep singing Fire in 100% volume-my morning alarm. My eardrums could be broken because of it, yeah-you know. Its not an excuse, really. / Ok. Well done. No. I dont feel well today. Because i think its still so early to be outside in this breezy winter. And i’m only wearing my last night’s pineapple printed tshirt covered by a not so thick-blue cardigan. What the hell with ur damn legs to follow your random thought’s instruction. The small dust of snow are falling in front of me. Falling slowly one by one just like the memories that keep coming slowly, intensely. I’m started to remember the old times when we took the train to go to random place during our last christmas. You were left alone by your parents. Your parents have been busy working all the time but christmas day is properly the only exception. That was the first time actually. You felt so upset and your elder brother might be go out with his girlfriend which means you were literally left alone and i felt like i had a responsibility to comfort you. I used to comfort you but we ended up trapped in a dispute. I dont know why. Its just happening all of sudden. And to think of it again makes me anxious.

Yes i left you that night. 10 pm in the day of christmas, right after sending you back home.

/I left you with your sad teary looking eyes. i knew you were holding it since we took off the train. i knew it well but i pretended not to care im such a bastard i deserve a punishment for it/

I couldnt think anything more than to quicken my footsteps. I could only think that i should go quickly bcs i could never deal with those kind of look in your eyes. I could never deal to see you cry because it hurts me even more. So i better go, following my selfish mind. I didnt know that those tensed conversation will be the last time we talk to each other. I didnt know that to left you in such condition is much worse than to hug you to stop you from crying. The thing that i surely know now that i feel really sorry to you. It was my mistake. Wait,

No, Not really. You told me that you like her. You said that you just confessed to a girl you just knew in twitter. I couldnt accept the fact that my only precious bestfriend will be someone else’s boyfriend. You wont be completely mine anymore. i will lose my bestfriend ever. Is feeling fear of losing a mistake? I’d rather to leave you than to be left. I thought the time could heal anything. But no. Theres no text from you, nor a single call from you. I thought that you were busy dating with ur fckin new girlfriend. And to calculate the time, i guess today is the time when you celebrate your 1st anniversary with her. Congratulation dude. Sh*t. I feel like my tears just fell through my cheekbones. Why the hell did i spend an hour walk just to cry over the same person?

I close my eyes to stop it from getting worse. Apparently holding back tears is not an easy job. I open my eyes.

voila!

Whats with this setting? Why the floor is shaking? And why is there a stainless steel door showing the blooming trees scenery from its window right in front of me. Wait. No. This cant be.. Why am i here? on the train?! I hit my right cheek in case its just a dream but da heck it is not!! I look around to check the situation. Then my eyes fixate to someone next to me. The boy who is standing with a familiar face. And is closing his eyes while standing like a still picture. Jeon jungkook?????? Is it you??????? == Both point of view. ==

Taehyung is mesmerized by the view that he is looking at right now. Jungkook is right in front of him and he doesnt have any idea about it. “How could this be? Is it a miracle thats been set out by God?” He cant hide the smile on his face while staring at the sleeping boy. Wait. “Isnt it dangerous to be sleeping while standing? On the train??,” he wonders. Suddenly the sleeping boy opens his eyes. The awakened boy (who is actually not sleeping) is startled to see the boy with those familiar rectangle shaped smile standing in front of him. All smiling. All bright. Like a flower blooms. Like a spring day he’s been waiting for. “H-h-hyung??,” he starts the talk. “Y yeah. Its been a long time?” “I miss you…..hyung.” “I know” “What? Why are you so confident?” “I know”

“i couldnt make it with her”

“……”

“i broke up with her right after she accepted me. You happy?”

Taehyung’s smile is widening naturally.

“i know”

“you lied”

“i know”

“Ya! hyung!”

“Hahahahhahaha” Their story is going to bloom once again,

Just like the scenery of blooming trees outside the windows

Just like spring day.

==The end==

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#bts fanfic #fanfic #romantic #angst #drama #fantasy #vkook #taehyung #jungkook #taekook #vkook fanfic #taekook fanfic #even if it is terrible lets just try it #fanart #bts fanart

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i-smile-so-i-must-be-fine · 5 years ago

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1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? i don’t have a specific amount of songs i listen to more than others they’re usually on shuffle

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? either Demi Lovato or Margot Robbie

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. don’t have a book close to where i’m sat

4: What do you think about most? my girl.. but it also varies on my mood

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? was a personal text so not saying

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? i sleep in a t-shirt and underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent? don’t consider it a talent but i have very flexible fingers

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? no

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? can’t even remember

11: Do you have any strange phobias? no

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? i used to stick stones up my nose so they would bleed so i could get out of class as they made my nose bleed

13: What’s your religion? atheist

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? either going get buses and trains to see my girl.. walking the dog.. going to the shop.. or smoking

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? don’t really have a favourite

17: What was the last lie you told? “i’m fine” is the main one i use

18: Do you believe in karma? sometimes

19: What does your URL mean? that people believe a smile and thinks your fine

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? weakness - not been able to say no to my girl strength - loyal

21: Who is your celebrity crush? Demi Lovato and Margot Robbie

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? no

23: How do you vent your anger? i get snappy.. and then take it out on my self when i’m alone

24: Do you have a collection of anything? key rings

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? depends who its to

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? meh i’m not happy with my self in general

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? i hate the sound of people biting their nails love - dunno theirs quite a few things

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if that one thing didn’t happen

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? ghosts yea.. aliens i’m not really sure about

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. right arm - my phone and ipod left arm - can of coke, lamp, tv remotes, my pills, a snow globe, my ipad

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? my air freshener

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? dunno tbh

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? west

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Braiden Barrie

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? not quote figured it out

36: Define Art. art is whatever your feeling and it can be interperated in many different ways

37: Do you believe in luck? kinda ish

38: What’s the weather like right now? sunny

39: What time is it? 7pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? no currently not able to.. but when i was able to do driving lessons i tried to crash into a tree and also drove over a roundabout

41: What was the last book you read? the last one i actually completed was rose and rosie oversharing.. can’t remember the title of the book that i’ve read a bit of but don’t currently have the concentration to finish

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? yea

43: Do you have any nicknames? a few

44: What was the last film you saw? annabelle comes home

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? broken shoulder (got hit by a car).. and i’ve also torn all the ligaments in my ankle.. i still get the pain from the both to this day since i didn’t follow doctors order and let them heal properly

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? no i hate them

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? not that i can think of

48: What’s your sexual orientation? lesbian

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? story of my entire school life

50: Do you believe in magic? kinda

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? yea

52: What is your astrological sign? virgo

53: Do you save money or spend it? both

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? a pack of cigarettes

55: Love or lust? love

56: In a relationship? absolutely

57: How many relationships have you had? a few

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no

59: Where were you yesterday? took my child to the park

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? theres a perfume box thats pink a few steps away from me

61: Are you wearing socks right now? yea

62: What’s your favourite animal? tiger

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? i have no idea.. but i’m lucky i’ve found the person that does

64: Where is your best friend? my girl is my best friend so she’s currently in hospital

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

66: What is your heritage? not really sure

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? on facetime

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? no idea

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? maybe

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? maybe

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? A - i’m not really sure if i would tell anyone as i wouldn’t want to try save me B - spend it with the people i love the most C - i’d be afraid of leaving my kid behind (5 year old) and also my girl

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. there is no love without trust

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Stitches - shawn mendes lucky to know you - Braiden Barrie

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 5808

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? trust, loyalty, communication, commitment, respect, be able to have serious conversations and be able to joke around with them

77: How can I win your heart? already taken so you can’t

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? to an extent

79: What is the best decision you have made in your life so far? keeping my child - despite how much i hate his sperm donor getting with my girl

80: What size shoes do you wear? depends on the brand adidas - 6 (even though i’ve just had to re order some in a bigger size) Nike - 7 Vans - 6 Converse - 6 and i have superdry boots but not sure on the size

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? finally fucking dead

82: What is your favourite word? don’t have one

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. beats

84: What is a saying you say a lot? don’t really have one

85: What’s the last song you listened to? celine dion - dance with my father

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? red, blue, black

87: What is your current desktop picture? the quote “love is louder than the pressure to be perfect”

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? if i could do it to three people then.. my kids sperm donor, his cunt of a wife, and my girls ex

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i hate telling people how i’m really feeling

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? invisibility

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? difficult to choose between 2.. so the first one would be making sure my ex wasn’t in theatre whilst having a c-section and having my mum with me and the second one meeting my girl for the first time and not been scared to ask her out in person or kiss her bye

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? what my ex did

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Demi Lovato

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Greece

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? not that i’m aware of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? yea

98: Ever been on a plane? a few times

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? sort your shit out

0 notes

viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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Breaking bad: Hollywood wakes up to the power of dark, dangerous women

Forget the sobbing suffering beauty. From Rebecca Halls unlikable newsreader to Jessica Chastains ruthless lobbyist, this is the year of the unsympathetic, deeply flawed femme. Thank goodness for that

The good news is that there are some great female characters coming up in the cinema in 2017. The bad news, if youre looking for inspirational feminist role models, is that you wont always find them in the movies. Lurking behind such obvious audience-pleasing instances of fine upstanding womanhood as Taraji P Henson plotting a course through the cosmos in Hidden Figures, or Rachel Weisz taking antisemitism to court in Denial, lies a monstrous army of deeply flawed femmes perverse, prickly, deluded, depressed, obsessive, venal, scary. Well, I say hurrah for that.

First up, though, is the unfeasibly perfect Natalie Portman in Pablo Larrans Jackie, not so much a biopic of Jacqueline Kennedy as a tone poem evoking its subjects transformation from trophy wife via weeping widow into American icon, a makeover forged by grief. In recreating a historical event made to seem ever more removed from reality by more than half a century of Zapruder, Warhol and conspiracy theorising, the film-maker and his leading lady transport us back to basics: the barely imaginable horror of witnessing your husbands brains being blown out. Portman knocks it out of the park, giving a masterclass in suffering beautifully.

And I mean beautifully. Whereas the likes of Claire Danes and Laura Dern convey excoriating emotional pain by snivelling like you and me, cry-faces scrunched up and shoulders heaving, Portman weeps like a lady, trying to blink back her tears, elegant eyebrows rearing up like rival caterpillars to greet each other across her lightly furrowed brow. She cries cute, a fan comments beneath one of the supercuts of Portmans comely blubbing in everything from Lon to V for Vendetta to the Star Wars prequels to Black Swan. And Larrans camera loves her, whether shes crying in the shower or chaperoning her husbands coffin on Air Force One.

Tippi Hedren in Hitchcocks The Birds. Photograph: Allstar/Cinetext/Universal

There is something exquisitely cinematic in the suffering of women, and depicting their torment in big closeup has long been a favourite pursuit of male auteurs. How often do their cameras linger on womens pleasure? Try to think of great actressy moments in the cinema and the memory veers towards heartbreak more than happiness or fulfilment. Greta Garbo may have laughed in Ninotchka, but this was already so atypical that the publicity department bragged about it on the poster.

No wonder there have been so many films about Joan of Arc – all that in-your-face spiritual agony, with the religious element providing a righteous front for the voyeuristic revelling in pain. In The Passion of Joan of Arc, Carl Dreyer dwells on Falconettis sublime anguish so relentlessly his camera is practically lapping up her tears. One thinks of the womens pictures of Douglas Sirk or Max Ophls, or Rainer Werner Fassbinder (Margit Carstensen in The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant), or Meryl Streep tortured by Sophies Choice, or, more recently, Nicole Kidman in Birth, or Marion Cotillard howling the roof down in La Vie en Rose or Rust and Bone.

Alfred Hitchcock pretty much dedicated his career to putting his leading ladies through the wringer, and duly subjected Joan Fontaine, Ingrid Bergman and Kim Novak to the sort of carefully calibrated mistreatment guaranteed to make them look more alluring than ever. This tendency reached its apex in The Birds, where Tippi Hedren starts off as the epitome of cool blonde chic (impeccable coiffure, spotless suit and pearls) and ends up decoiffed, streaked with blood, her nylons laddered a traumatised victim of assault. Hitchcock is clearly getting off on it. Male directors, few of them attractive physical specimens themselves, like nothing better than to knock perfect leading actresses off their pedestals.

The most Hitchcockian heroine of 2016 was Amy Adams in Tom Fords Nocturnal Animals. Adams plays Susan, a super-soigne Los Angeles art gallery owner who lives in a concrete and glass Bel Air mansion and sports impeccable maquillage, preternaturally straight hair, high-tone couture (as youd expect in a film from the former creative director of Gucci), statement jewellery so pronounced you half expect it to start talking and a fabulously good-looking husband who keeps her in the style to which she is accustomed.

Perfectly flawed Amy Adams as Susan Morrow in Nocturnal Animals. Photograph: Merrick Morton/Universal

But, this being a revenge thriller (albeit not necessarily the sort that youre expecting) the delivery of the manuscript of a novel by her first husband throws a spanner into the perfection. Unlike Hitchcock, Ford is a prime physical specimen, and one can safely assume his interest in her downfall isnt so much sexual as conjuring classic Hollywood by expressing emotion via screen style. But many filmgoers have felt alienated by Susan not being sympathetic, and condemnations of the film as misogynistic are not hard to find. A love letter to sexist movies (Bitch Flicks); epitomises salacious, exploitative misogyny (Ruthfully Yours); an ugly, mean-spirited story from start to finish, with a deep misogyny at its core (Bouquets & Brickbats).

I suppose if you like your films to be purveyors of Old Testament-style justice, in which anything unpleasant that may happen to, say, a career woman must be de facto punishment for sins she has committed, then Fords treatment of her is as cruel as that of her ex-husband. But Nocturnal Animals is a cautionary tale, not a moral one. I prefer to think of Susan as a tragically flawed human being, wrestling with lifes complexities and suffering the consequences of her own misguided decisions, yet in control of her own destiny, just like all the best male movie characters. Im not interested in watching the hackneyed rise and fall and rise again of a one-dimensional paragon who learns from her mistakes, triumphs over sexist opposition and emerges in the third act as a shining feminist role model. I want compelling drama and dark nights of the feminine soul. I want Shakespearean, and if that means a character suffering, so be it.

And it looks as if 2017 might be stepping up to bat. Brace yourself for a coven of female characters who are no more sympathetic than Susan. Prepare to see them make awful decisions and do bad things, with results that are sometimes tragic, sometimes comic, sometimes both simultaneously. In Christine, Rebecca Hall gives a fearlessly unlikable performance as an ambitious Florida newscaster whose refusal to play the game leads her into some very dark places. In Miss Sloane, Jessica Chastain is bracingly uningratiating as a ruthless Washington DC lobbyist. In Elle, Isabelle Huppert plays a chilly businesswoman who reacts to being raped by refusing to embrace the traditional movie roles of victim, survivor or avenger, instead striking out into unexpected and distinctly uncomfortable territory.

Elle trailer: Isabelle Huppert stars in Paul Verhoevens noir thriller exclusive video

All these are hints that the next few months could be one of the most promising seasons for choice female roles in years, and what is especially exciting is that female film-makers visions are at last entering the picture. In the three chapters of Certain Women, Kelly Reichardt presents the non-glamorous lives of Laura Dern, Michelle Williams and Lily Gladstone in a precisely observed manner that is the opposite of melodramatic, though one of the segments will still break your heart. Maren Ades Toni Erdmann may be named after the grotesque alter ego of its leading male character, but its chiefly about the strained relationship with his daughter (Sandra Hller), a workaholic businesswoman leading a bleak life in Bucharest. Like Reichardt, Ade isnt in a hurry and prefers slice of life to glamour, but the film packs at least two audience-pleasing highlights to rank with any by commercial Hollywood.

But you dont have to settle for realism, because the more we see movies by female film-makers, the more its evident that the female point of view, like the male one, is not some homogeneous, touchy feely Mama Mia!-type hoedown. Alice Lowe stars in her own directing debut, the deliciously mean-spirited Prevenge, as a pregnant woman whose foetus urges her to kill, and kill again. Lowes Arnold Bennett-ish ear for one-liners, insight into hormonal chaos, and gleeful splatter combine to present a female POV youve never seen before. From the other side of the Atlantic, Anna Biller pays visual homage to the colourful style of 1970s occult thrillers in The Love Witch, the tale of a Californian femme fatale (Samantha Robinson) whose love spells have bloody consequences, but gives the story a modern feminist twist.

Alice Lowe as a woman whose foetus urges her to kill in horror flick Prevenge. Photograph: Western Edge Pictures

And while there is no UK release date for it yet, keep your eyes peeled for Julia Ducournaus Raw, the best and bloodiest slice of body horror since David Cronenberg in his prime. Its about a naive French veterinary student (Garance Marillier) whose hair-raising rite of passage includes brutal hazing, eating raw liver, cannibalism and the funniest, most gruesome bikini waxing ever filmed.

Theres more than enough room for all these films. Some you may love, others you might loathe, but there is no longer any excuse to pin feminist hopes and dreams on to a single film or female character. We contain multitudes.