#eventually explodes bc he doesn't really want to face his feelings and lets them get the better of him rather than talk about it or work

[t-u-i-t-c]

"Mission clear."

+ bonus

[gutterfuuck]

ok all i can think of is super pervy & creepy incel mark w a reader who lowk knows he’s super weird and creepy with her but is like…into it. like he steals her underwear and gets off on the smell of her and she knows and is just like 🤷‍♀️😊 like maybe she finds a fucking box of her underwear under his bed while they’re hanging out and he’s like oh fuck i swear it’s not what it looks like and she’s like :0 okay but do you want another pair? 😊😊

“ and in addition to my other ask; what would be even better is a reader who is so like fucked up mentally over being into it (bc uhhh she doesn't think she should be so into her best friend being a fucking creep) and mark can tell and he's like ok so ur just a little pervert like me!— ☆ “

this is so good anon omggg—- it would also be an interesting idea to have a reader who’s kind of a bully/mean girl towards mark + he retaliates (😉) but that is a whole other concept that i am not focusing on rn haha 😅

MDNI, 18+ CONTENT

you were accustomed to it by now; mark’s calloused finger tips brushing past your neck, hands wrapping around your waist or pulling you almost into his lap at times. he was just a touchy guy, you were his best friend, he’d never look at you like that!! mark just loved playing with your hair, he was just affectionate!

you knew why his hugs would linger just for a bit too long, you weren’t stupid. that’s why you weren’t the least bit shocked when you had found out where your underwear had ran off to. you weren’t shocked, weren’t exactly disappointed either. you knew what had been going on, you damn near set him up by just leaving your clothes thrown onto his bathroom floor after you would use his shower and purposely wearing short skirts and low tops whenever you would hang out with him. you’d picked up on his behaviour for a while now, so had everyone else. everyone around you could see how often mark would touch and let you walk up the stairs first so he could see up your skirt, “well i’m not gonna look up there, you know that.” “if you fall or slip, i’ll be there to catch you, y’know?” “c’mon y/n, don’t you trust me? wouldn’t you rather me accidentally see up there?” “you already walk around my house basically naked sometimes.” he justified, eventually winning you over and getting the chance to pull out his phone while distracting you with talk, taking a video from underneath your skirt.

you’d found them when you had dropped your phone down the side of his bed, going to get it before mark could protest and offer himself to grab it, he hadn’t moved that one pair of cotton white panties, the ones he had pressed up to his nose the night before, getting off to the scent of your pussy still on them. mark almost died when his fear came to fruition, you holding up your own pair of underwear that you had left your phone for.

mark’s face turned red, hand shooting forward to grab at the pair of underwear; you snatching your hand away. “i-it isn’t what you think it is!” he shouted, your eyes locked onto his. the corners of your lips turned upwards, glancing at the panties and then back to mark, “i think these are my panties. no, i’m sure.” you spoke, mark’s hands flew to your shoulders. “they must’ve g-gotten there by accident…-you’re always here, you never know, you might’ve left them here-” he stuttered, fingers digging into your skin gently, moving up to hold your face so he could give you a look of sincerity, hoping that you would believe his lies.

“d’you want more?”

he swear he heard ringing in his ears. the world seemed to slow down, his vision blurry. did you really just say that or was he actually going crazy this time? a beat, two. “what?” he breathed out, voice quiet and getting lost somewhere on the way out. “i’m wearing pink. white polkadots, lace i think.” you wondered, fingers playing with the hem of your skirt, inching it towards your upper thighs. further, further. “wanna see?” and mark feels like he’s going to explode. he was already nodding before you had even asked him if he wanted to look at your underwear, you got off of the bed, standing in front of him and lifted your skirt up. lace, just like you had promised. crimson red trickled out of mark’s nose, dick throbbing in his pants.

he looked so disheveled, half lidded puppy eyes focused on your clothed cunt, blood slowly dripping down his nose and past his chin, red staining his shirt. “can.. c-can i…” he almost drooled, hand reaching towards your thigh, needing to hold you, needing to confirm that this was real and happening. “you’re gonna let me touch you here, yeah?” his hands stuck to your waist, pulling you closer as he moved to kneel in front of you, pressing his face into your cunt and sniffing feverishly, tongue lolling out to lick you through the cloth.

“s’good… smell so f-fuckin’ good, y/n..” he groaned, you giggled. you were so perfect for him, so fucking perfect. he slid one of his hands into his pants, wasting no time in stroking his cock, jerking himself off while he sniffed around under your skirt and put his mouth around your still covered pussy, wetting the fabric and licking up your juices as soon as they secreted from your heat and soaked into your panties that mark would definitely be keeping. your hands stroked through his hair, gasping lightly when he pulled your panties to the side and instantly began sucking harshly on your clit, rubbing circles into it with his hot tongue.

this was sooo fucked up. were you taking advantage of him? would it even matter seeing as he’s obviously been taking advantage of you, stealing your underwear while you weren’t looking? you didn’t care, neither did mark. you especially didn’t care when his fingers found their way into your warm cunt, pumping in and out while he gently grazed your sensitive bud with his teeth, your fingers tightening in his hair and your chest heaving, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat as he held you still with both hands now, teeth biting down just right enough for it to make you almost jump backwards, a light squeal leaving your lips.

“taste so good… so wet f’me, getting my fingers all sticky..” he talked into your clit, tongue flicking back and forth. mark pulled away, looking up at you with lust glazed eyes, putting his fingers into his mouth and sucking your slick off of his digits. he turned you around, mouth open while he panted, hands spreading your asscheeks as his tongue began licking circles around your asshole, making you almost jump at the unexpected action. “j-just wanna touch you everywhere…” mark told you, tongue pushing past your tight little back opening, your ass clenching around his tongue as you nearly fell over onto your knees, mark steadying you.

you were always teasing him, always. he pulled his tongue out, pulling you down onto the floor with him, positioning you onto your back, hands attacking your zipped up jacket and almost tearing the clean off. no shirt. no bra. fuck, you’d done this on purpose. “so fucking hot…” he said before sucking on your now exposed nipples, other hand squeezing as if he had no idea on how to handle tits gently. oh, that was because he didn’t. he was inexperienced, but it wasn’t something that made you upset. no, quite the opposite, you liked it; the hungriness of it. the greediness, selfishness.

“no bra… practically naked under there…-“ he huffed tapping your leg so you would wrap your legs around his waist. he bent down to lick your cheek, smiling when you gave him a look of confusion, “p-perv..!” you joked, laughing at him. his cock strained, his cheeks went pink. “again… fuck, call me that again.” mark muttered, humping against you on the floor, trapping you in with his teeth tight on your shoulder. you complied, gasping and nodding, “pervert..”

he lost it, getting to his feet and keeping his hand on your head so you knew not to stand up along with him, his hand anchored in the back of your hair, using it to pull you forward so he could rub your face in his bulge, throwing his head back when you opened your mouth, sliding your lips up and down the side of his cock through his pants.

in reality, maybe you were the pervert. you couldn’t care less, your hot best friend was trying to force his fat cock all the way down your throat with his gorgeous face all ruined and flustered with your lacey-pink-and-white panties held up to his nose, your scent drove him fucking crazy, your own face streaking of mascara and your lipstick smudged around the corners of your lips. you were beautiful to him, his hips unrelenting with his messy thrusts. “nghh aaaahh.. so warm… ‘s this what pussy feels like too?” he asked, gripping your hair even tighter. “b-bet you’re tighter in there… in your cunt-“ he continued to let his tip bully the back of your neck, your throat bulging ever so slightly with each harsh thrust, catching a rhythm that made his balls slap against your chin. “c-callin’ me the perv… you’re all soaked and sicky down there…” your eyes watered, nails digging into the meat of this thighs, your cunt gushing. this was so wrong, you should know better than to let your best friend throat fuck you after finding out that he had been getting away with stealing your items of clothing for so long. “you’re the real pervert, hah..- you look so messy, f-fuck, i-i’m gonna cumdownyourthroat—“ he choked out, dick pulsing as his head rolled back, his vision blanking and hips stuttering, thick ropes of cum filling your mouth.

he was right, you were the perv. only a perv would swallow their best friend’s load and beg him to shoot the next one into your guts.

[anzulvr]

Imagine Karma having a bad day and a smart af reader who can see through him instantly catches on and tries to do little things to make him feel better but doesn't do anything direct bc they know that Karma isn't so great with admitting he's upset and he eventually opens up and cuddles up to them and omGHW RKSIAJWWNAOQ

KARMA X READER WHO READS HIM LIKE AN OPEN BOOK

This took like 2 weeks I’m sorry there’s so many requests 😭

Karma has never been the best at hiding how he feels, it never even seems like he tries to as he’s very open and honest about what he thinks.

No one can really read him except for you.

He doesn’t know wether to think of that as a good thing or not. You understand him but is having someone like that something he wants?

He sits down next to you in the morning for first period. He came late and he has this grouchy look on his face, you ask him what’s wrong.

he brushes you off “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

It was obviously something still you didn’t want to be pushy.

The rest of the day you could tell something was weighing on his mind so you made it your life’s (or days) mission to make him feel better.

You spent the rest of the day trying to cheer him up

passing him notes during class, (Korosensei sees you but doesn’t stop you from doing it when he sees Karma smiling while reading them)

Messing with him during your sparring session

“[Name] you sure you want to fight me? I’m not going easy on you.” (He totally will)

“You don’t have too! I’ve been practicing too.”

mid way the fight you realize you overestimated yourself, even with him letting you hit him it was somehow hurting you more.

“[Name] I’ve seen cats that hit harder than yo— PffttHAHAHA WHY DOES YOU TICKLING ME HURT MORE??”

you realize there was no beating him through sheer will but you did know he was ticklish and that’s a big enough weakness to exploit.

You were also just being extra corny all day just for the sake of it

“This (love) song reminds me of you.”

“[name] that’s so chessy it’s gross.” he says trying to hide the smile creeping up his face

You went to his house to hang out for a while

“Karma, let’s watch [insert really overrated action move]!”

“I thought you said you didn’t want to last time.”

“You like it right? I want to watch something you like.”

His heart exploded right then and there. How could someone be so sweet without realizing it

mid way through the movie his spirits seemed raised so you ask.

“Karma do you mind me asking why you were upset today?”

“t’s really nothing I’m surprised you could even tell. No one else said anything.”

“I just pay extra attention to you, they didn’t say anything cause you have resting bitch face”

“Obsessed much?”

“As if! seriously though, what happened?” You had to push further for him to admit anything actually happened

“I just got into a fight with some stupid guy”

“Really? That’s it? You get into fights like everyday.”

“It’s a long story. Him and his friends were talking about you and it really set me off because I’d already had a shitty morning— my parents called to tell me they already made plans to travel to New York after they told me they’d stay here for atleast a month?”

“Oh wow- I’m sorry Karma, I know they promised and everything.”

“Yeah. Uhm sorry— I didn’t mean to unload that much.”

(Sorry??? He says sorry??)

“Huh? You don’t have to apologize, I want to know these things cause I care.”

“Oh. Thanks [name], you’re the only person I’d ever tell these things too.”

“Whys that?”

“I trust you too much, who knows when you’ll blackmail me with this.”

“Blackmail is your thing not mine!”

“Mhm, that’s what a blackmailer would say. Anyways let’s finish the movie the best part is coming up!”

“I was hoping you forgot we were watching that snooze fest.”

“In what world is [super mega overrated action movie] a snooze fest??“

“Do you hear yourself right now..?”

“You don’t see me complaining when you make me watch those romance dramas you like.”

“What are you saying, you never shut up about how unrealistic the scenes are.”

“Cause they ARE— in what world do guys get in car crashes, stay in mid air for 5 minutes and look good while doing it??”

“…in what world does an antihero ninja go around fighting people to save humanity.”

“To be fair we’re trying to kill an alien octopus to save the world from exploding these days.”

“Yeah.. if you asked me a year ago which of these events were most likely to happen I wouldn’t have guessed alien octopus world explosion.”

“Right, to be honest the car accident in true beauty seems fairly realistic in comparis- [Name] LOOK THATS THE SCENE!”

in the end you fell asleep on the floor together when you woke up he complained about how you slept though it. (He fell asleep 5 minutes after you.)

[quinloki]

So pre apology but I’m existing on very little sleep and the brain is not completely braining

HOWEVER

….

>>

I went with 7’0” for Thatch since he has no official height and we don’t really see him next to any other characters often to compare (and one piece heights are not consistent, let’s be real). And this already makes my brain go brrr

I legit could not get them out of my head ALL DAY it will not stop so pls have this little trinket of what my brain has come up with

Just imagining being like, a new recruit, and the 1st division commander stops you to ask how things are going after dinner. You’re having to look up at him a bit, but that’s normal around the crew. Thatch pops by, checking in as well. They’re the friendly type so if course they’re gonna check in on the cute new little recruit.

While y’all are chatting by the doorway of the mess hall, someone calls from above deck that land has been spotted. They both go to move you out of the pathway, essentially putting you between them, apologizing as a bunch of unruly crew members go to pass by right where you were all just at to see what kind of land is coming up.

And you go to reassure them it’s fine thank you for not letting you get trampled when you freeze, realizing just how big they are and how easily they just manhandled you out of the way and how you’re essentially buried between them as the crew passes by. You finally stutter it out, but it’s definitely not missed by either man the tone or the fact that you’re completely flushed.

They discuss and make it a point to really drive home the size difference in the next few days. Maybe coming up behind you, moving you gently while apologizing and saying they’re in a hurry. Or sitting on either side of you at a table as you read a book. Maybe even one of them offering to spar with you, wrapping their whole hand easily around your forearm to pull you down or over their shoulder.

By the end of a few days you’re a flustered mess and can’t stop picturing being between the two commanders in more than one way.

…..

Man it’s been awhile since I had such a fluid thought LOL I’m gonna do a few things and then head to bed and hopefully ponder this more bc… gods… I want them. A man who can manhandle me AND open the door/pull out a chair? Perfect xD

okay but I'm 154cm and ...

KAZ YOU ARE KILLING ME.

Oh gods and I can see it too, those two working together. They're besties if ever there were besties and you cannot convince me otherwise. The only reason Marco doesn't leave with Ace to get revenge on Teach is because Pops' word is law for him more than his own personal feelings, and he's come to that belief long before Ace ever crawled into existence.

BUT

Yeah. You're not going to get seduced by one or the other, it's going to be both. Marco's quiet and smooth, and Thatch is a little more animated about things, but just as smooth.

Eventually, it'll be Marco's finger under your chin, letting you get lost in his eyes, asking if they can kiss you, and you just nod almost dumbly like you've been having dreams about these two with all the interactions and teasing that they've done over the last few weeks. If someone doesn't kiss you you're going to explode or just yeet yourself overboard at this point.

Marco leans in, closing that sweet distance slow and steady, and gods your heart is going to just beat against your ribs until they crack, and just before you think it's going to happen, Thatch turns you toward him and kisses you.

The shift was planned between the two of them, specifically to just knock you off balance. You're dizzy from the sudden shift, and gods Thatch kisses like he flirts and right now you can't keep up with it, and the soft moan that tangle between your lips escapes when he leans back. Face flushed, hungry for more, Marco turns your attention back to him, hand warm against your face as he pulls you in.

His kiss is less of a rush, but the flood of blood into your face and lips because of Thatch is making the feel of Marco's lips against yours tingle. The action might be more reserved, but if you ever doubted before that they were in cahoots, you don't doubt it now.

Thatch raises your hand gently within his larger one, kissing the back of your hand softly as Marco lets you lean back from the kiss. There's no escape for you, not that you want it, not that you're being trapped. This isn't a yandere-styled story, the way you've been wooed and won over was soft and sweet, if not calculated and focused.

There's been no guessing in this game, and you know all the options available. Safe between the two, would easily make you the safest person on the grandline.

[mingiswow]

Boyfriend!Hyunjin

⚠ English is not my native language, so pardon me if there’s any mistake. And you can always tell me what’s wrong.

Thx to the anon who requested Hyunjin's version 💖💖

ok listen to me very carefully:

he gets wiped really easily

He believes in love at first sight for sure

which is kinda what happened with you

you’ll be with your friends at one of those open karaoke things

idk man i don’t have karaoke where I live

and then he saw you enjoying yourself and having fun

he let out a little giggle and you saw him standing there looking at you

then you started to sing to him as a joke

and boy oh boy

he liked your attitude

he really likes confident people

but if you’re not, i’m sure he’ll fall for your personality

he’s not the one to care about looks

so back with the meeting thing

after you went back to your table with your friends he kept looking at you

But was too afraid to do something lmao

So he just sent a drink with a little note asking for your number

which you obviously gave to him

And the rest is story

like I said baby boy gets attached really fast

so expect him wanting to spend a lot of time with you

he’s not big on pda

especially in front of the boys

he gets all shy and flustered

but when you guys are alone he has you always on his lap

and if you’re bigger than him, he’ll be on your lap

no problem for our cuddle puppy

I don’t feel like he has a specific type of kiss but he likes to caress your body while kissing

If you're the one on his lap his hands will be holding your hips or caressing your tights

eventually holds your face close to his

but if he’s the one on your lap he likes to hold your neck

grabbing the little hairs at nape of it

Pulling you closer to him

and your hands must be on his ass

don’t you dare take them off there

he took a while to introduce you to the boys

He’s not sure why he did that

but he was glad because as soon as you entered the dorm the boys stormed you with questions and little secrets about him

Also you got along pretty well with them

Felix absolutely stole you from Hyunjin from time to time

You guys became best friends

which sometimes gets Hyunjin quite jealous

he doesn’t get jealous jealous

It’s more like a sadness??? Like you’re trading him

but then you just have to pepper him with kisses hugs and compliments and he’s good to give you more love

I see him as being the most romantic of them all

He might not cook very well but he’ll ask Felix or Minho to cook for you two

dinners at home are a must

Is his favorite type of date

bc he can enjoy your time together with privacy

I mean… if one of the boys doesn't decide to butt in

Usually these types of date end up with you two cuddled up watching some movie

Which leads to you two making out

Which leads to other things 😏

NSFW from here on

That fucking brat

That little tease

Expect him to tease you a lot

To the point you’ll explode and just pin him against the bed and ride him

he loves to experiment with you but boy oh boy he loves some angry sex

pin him against the wall, the bed

Hold his arms still

Don’t let him touch you

He’ll be so damn turned on that his mind is clouded

Pegging/anal

He loves the power you have over him

And he loves to submit to you even if it’s just the two of you fucking each other’s company

And he’s vocal

And loud

he wants everyone in the dorms to know you two are having sex

just so he can rub at the other’s faces that’s he’s getting some with the most hot person they could imagine

He rarely doms but sometimes he’s just utterly frustrated and just want to fuck until he gets tired and with an empty mind and body

praise him after these days and he’ll turn into mush in your arms

Little spoon after sex

so prepare because you’re going to be the one responsible for aftercare

He also likes to passionately make out with you after sex

Because he usually likes it rough so he likes the intimacy and calm that the kisses create

Overall he likes to feel comforted and cared during the horny times

so praise and hug him and he’ll give you whatever you want

[ashren]

Andddd the follow up with Ash and Rylin !

I wrote out the prompts again since this is a picture of the ask lol

Thanks @strangefable for enabling me to ramble about these two 😅☺️

Comfort- How would they help their s/o when they feel down/ have a panic attack etc.?

When Ash is feeling down he usually takes it out on his body by training, either sparring training, or depending on the day, training on his bike. Rylin knows to let him just tire himself out until he wants to open up, Ash is a little stubborn but Rylin also gets that Ash needs that time alone. After Ash comes to Rylin, though, he basically turns on giant teddy bear mode and pulls out a bunch of the stereotypical comfort things. Mostly things Ash never got growing up when he had a bad day.

Rylin, on the other hand, usually kind of shuts down when he's feeling down. He doesn't like to talk a lot in general, more for self preservation in the galaxy than anything else, but when he's alone with Ash, he's usually very talkative. However, often Rylin won't want to speak (a lot of it due to trauma bc again,, star wars lol). Anyway this is all to say that Ash learns Mando'a sign language so that Rylin has someone outside of his family who he can talk to without speaking. As they get closer, Ash also learns spoken Mando'a for Rylin and pretty much only uses it when it's just the two of them. (also, bonus fact, Rylin teaches his astromech to understand sign language too, which has saved them on more than one occasion)

Inspiration- Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Ash and Rylin change each other a lot hahaaaaa. Ash is still pretty young when he meets Rylin, and is still pretty fresh out of the Empire, all things considered (He's 19 when he defects and he's 22 when he first meets Rylin). Rylin basically teaches Ash to chill out and relax. Ash feels like he has to constantly be working to make up for his past, but Rylin slowly convinces him to actually take time for himself and to stop being himself up so much for also being a victim of the Empire

Ash helps Rylin kind of get over himself a little bit, truthfully. He'd convinced himself that he'd end up alone the rest of his life, and that that was for the best until he meets Ash, Ash forces him to realize he's allowed to have friends. Of course, Ash becomes more than just a friend eventually

They both also teach each other a lot, mainly tho, Ash teaches Rylin how to handle a speeder bike, especially at high speeds, while Rylin helps Ash learn bette hand to hand combat. Shockingly, the Empire's Stormtrooper Corps didn't focus heavily on hand to hand.

Quirk- Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Yeahhh, Ash is force sensitive. Which tends to help in any situation, tbh, but he's not, like, properly trained. He's seen the good and the bad and has really no interest in exploring that further. However, he can usually get a pretty good gauge on whether someone is lying to him or not. Obviously it's not perfect, but Ash can almost always tell when Rylin is lying, for better or worse lol

Rylin is a giant. He's about 7'6 in armor, and Ash is a regular ol' sized boy, a little short even, at 5' 7. Ash also has a quick temper than he usually can keep under wraps but there have been times where Rylin physically picks Ash up to remove him from a situation before it explodes in his face. (Ash secretly loves being manhandled by Rylin so he puts up with it 😏)

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

#8 with Javier and each time he gets more and more flustered bc somehow brushing hands is far more intimate than sex and he doesn't know what to do with feelings and in the end y'all somehow end up holding hands and everyone except the two of you notice that you haven't let go yet (sorry I took the prompt and fucking sprinted lmaoo)

8. Hands brushing unexpectedly (plus a little extra lol)

The first time that it happened it was such a casual occurrence that neither one of them acknowledged it. They were both reaching for the same map, the desk space that was allocated to the three of them wasn’t exactly large, it was frankly a little surprising that their hands hadn’t brushed before this. She had already knocked heads with Murphy twice; that man needed to learn to stop hunching over so far, he had plenty of room above her head where she couldn't reach anyways there was no need for him to invade the space closer to the ground.

So when Javier Peña’s hand brushed hers he didn’t think twice about swatting it out of his way and taking the map for himself. She huffed in annoyance and tried to grab it back- but was cut off by Murphy shoving another copy into her face with an annoyed “stop it”. He smirked at her triumphantly and that was that.

The second time their hands brushed she was handing him a cup of what he was pretty sure at one point was definitely coffee but now more closely resembled activated charcoal mixed with hot water. She rarely deigned to fetch coffee for the three of them (in all honesty he was nearly as bad- if Murphy was going to mother the both of them anyways, why bother), so he took it from her with a surprised smile and didn’t mention the fact that this was probably not safe for human consumption. As she handed it over, his fingers rested over hers and he nearly dropped the cup of sludge. When was the last time he had noticed how warm they were? Had he ever? He looked down at their fingers and he couldn’t help but notice how much smaller than his hers were. Were his hands that much bigger than normal?

He quickly grabbed the cup from her, ignoring the “enraged mongoose” (he would forever be so proud of himself for making that comparison once in the hearing of that one gossipy CIA agent- now it had become synonymous with her and her bursts of tiny mammal like fury, much to her annoyance) noise that she made and threw himself into his chair. He stared at Murphy’s hands and then back down at his own. No, they were pretty normal sized. He couldn’t get the image of her fingers underneath his own, he couldn’t even banish the image by fantasizing about other things they could do that would involve her underneath him. Murphy eventually noticed the older agent staring at his hands with a deep furrow of annoyance on his forehead and threw an eraser at him.

“What’s with you?” Peña cut his eyes to Vic, who had looked up at the question and was now staring at him expectantly. He grunted.

“Nothing. Get back to work.”

He was on the look out for this weird feeling by the time his hand brushed hers the third time. He was about ninety percent sure she had dislocated three of her fingers on her right hand hanging off the roof of a building they had been chasing their latest quarry through and couldn’t switch the safety off on her gun. Normally, he would tell her to stay behind him and stay out of the way but she had made it very clear, loudly and violently, that she was breeching that door with him and he could just go fuck himself “with something sharp and sandpaper-y” if he talked to her like a child one more time. So he reached over and flicked the button to its proper position for her.

His left hand was mostly safe, a few fingers barely brushed hers as he gripped the top of the gun to hold it steady. It was his right hand that took the brunt of the contact, his palm rested fully on top of the back of her hand and there it was. That feeling again. He had been stabbed in the stomach once back in that States and it had felt similar to this. This hot and cold swooping feeling low in his stomach that made him anxious and angry and resentful. He dropped her gun and her hand like they had burnt him and kicked the door open a little more violently than was probably necessary, if the look on Murphy’s face was anything to go by. He didn’t fucking care, this was ridiculous and he was mad.

Javier made a conscious effort for the next few weeks to make sure that their hands stayed in their own personal space bubbles. There were a few close calls to be sure, but he was careful. He was on the look out for this feeling, this brief intimacy that she seemed to not even notice that for some reason was driving him insane. Even when they weren’t touching he was thinking about touching her hands, and watching her hands, and wanting to cut off the hands of everyone else around them when they had the nerve, the sheer fucking audacity to brush against hers, and then just not even notice. How could they not?! How could they ignore the callous on her middle finger from holding a pen, or the ones on her palms from holding a gun? Didn't they feel that feeling, that emptiness and longing and joy and awe that the briefest of contact conveyed?

Javi jumped back in shock when he realized that he was no longer just imagining that feeling but that Vic’s hand had brushed all the way from his wrist to his fingers as she reached around him to shove Murphy’s feet off of his desk. She gave him a brief, questioning glance before turning back to the blond agent she had just woken up to question him about something that Javier knew he should probably be paying attention to. But how could he? That feeling was eating him up inside again and he needed to go smoke about twenty cigarettes to try and eradicate it.

Peña was unsuccessful at getting rid of it. The more he tried to ignore it the worse it got, it seemed that the only time he was able to dull it to a quiet roar was when he allowed himself to think about how warm her hand felt against his, how scratchy her shredded cuticles felt (if he had to listen to Murphy lecture Vic one more time about how picking and chewing at them was a great way to pick up all sorts of bugs and set herself up for infections around her fingers he was honestly going to puncture his own ear drums), how surprisingly soft her skin was where there wasn’t any physical evidence of the work she did. So he really should have guessed that something was wrong two nights later when he paused briefly while giving Carrillo a sitrep and realized that the feeling was almost settled.

Peña and Vic had been chasing someone into a trap being laid a few blocks away by Murphy and Carrillo when the asshole had led them into a warren like maze of alleys and dead end streets completely devoid of external lighting. He had grabbed her hand to keep them together and they had plunged into the labyrinth, emerging on the other side panting and unsuccessful- somehow the guy had managed to escape again.

And that was what he was telling Murph and Carrillo. It wasn’t that shocking- it's not like he was the first drug runner the team had lost, and they knew how to find him again so he wasn’t completely gone with the wind. He really did not know why the two men were looking at Vic and he like they were. Carrillo’s mouth was gaping slightly and Murphy looked like he was about to explode trying not to smile. What the hell…

“What?!” Peña finally snapped. “What the hell is wrong with you? Did you guys manage to bag him or something?” Carrillo nodded at Vic standing next to him. “What, I don’t understand” He looked over and down at his partner and she smiled up at him. He looked back at the two other men and scowled.

Finally Murphy was able to control himself enough to clear his throat, rub his hand over his mustache and ask, grinning like an idiot,

“Afraid you were gonna lose your way while giving us that report, Peña?” Peña narrowed his eyes at the blond man who nodded down at his hand.

He was still hanging on to Vic for dear life, fingers intertwined with hers, thumb rubbing small circles on the back of her hand. He looked up at her, wide eyed, still not letting go, a little terrified. She shrugged.

“News to me too pal.”

He didn't drop her hand.

(I used my OC from The Boss for the sole reason of I just started typing and that’s what came out lol.)

[lladyariall]

So, I just realized a TON in this one flashback.

[Sit down, y'all. This is going to be a bumpy ride ;D before I begin please know this is just my silly opinion in just how I see certain characters. Please enjoy the blog!]

He's mentioned his mom twice, he's shared about his step brother, and Mao Mao brought up his dad in only one episode. Yet, he has mentioned that his mom "says things she would not say" to which I say that he is hinting that he has an abusive past like Mao Mao might have had, but probably worse. Personally, I think poor Badgerclops had a very psychologically abusive mom. He speaks highly about his dad that one time while his mom was.. was really low-key tension going on in the air, if you guys have noticed that. He seems really small in the voice, and he even goes out to try to bring her up in public television. Was he trying to reach out a message to her during "Head Chef" when he was being challenged by Mao Mao?

I think I know why Badgerclops can't take personal critism. He's practically bullied all the time; is the rock to Mao Mao's unstable emotions/heroic thirst for adventure; he's constantly being told he's lazy; fat; and other things.. but to be honest, he IS suffering from all these things that he does try to hint and bring up every once a in a great while that we never get to really hear him out for.

So.. if you all have moms (not trying to offend anybody who may or may not) there is nothing more hurtful than hearing your own mom tell you things about yourself you don't want to hear. I mean, like actual mean things that pertain to feeling absolutely sick to your heart and knowing she shouldn't be saying such mean things to you. I think with the fact that BC has had an eyepatch ever since he was really young changes a lot of things when he was growing up. It seems like no one stood up for him enough either, while Gerald seemed to always win the upper hand to trick an innocent little toddler out of his money. He probably felt like his brother was taking advantage of the fact that he had one eye and no mechanic arm then, so.. poor little guy was probably beat up a lot too.

But here's where it gets darker.

Maybe his mom is responsible for his missing eye, you know? Maybe she's an ex villian, or Badgerclops' family is a gang of badger villains that tried to raise BC their way and it may have resulted in losing his eyeball to gain an eyepatch. He was seriously Adorabat's age when he lost his eye (wait.. are all parents just TERRIBLE in this universe?!) and that type of young mind can be damaged super easily, especially if one flaw about your physical appearance makes everyone judge and become cruel to you; or for instance, someone like our awesome badger here.

Now, let's say it wasn't his mom and Badgerclops just was always ridiculed everywhere he went. Sure he had his reasons to start traveling (probably to get away from his family) alone. He met up with a cyborg gang later which he clearly was probably in tears when he joined, but he couldn't be himself. Not ever in his life could he show his true self til he met Mao Mao, and that's explains why he's so protective of him.

Yet, even Mao Mao and Badgerclops' bond can't tame the larger mammal's inner triggers and insecurities about his whole demeanor when someone speaks out their opinion. If one person said that that awesome hairdo was 'terrible looking' to Badgerclops then I'm pretty damn sure he freaked out, since he didn't wear an eyepatch, AT ALL, and assumed the villagers saw behind his haircut.

Because he clutched his 'missing' eye in sadness.. Mao Mao's flashback, you guys, has a big picture on Badgerclops' mental health just in this few seconds of this screen time.

Mao Mao truly noticed his friend's emotions and decided to just ignore them more than anything 'cause then and now, it seemed like Mao Mao was afraid BC would blow up, and destroy (*cough* murder) every place else in their travels to the point of having to kill him. We're all aware that Mao Mao would probably never have the heart to destroy his closest friend and family he's ever had so he just kept up with his cold distance up til they started to get closer and closer as friends. Mao Mao eventually saw Badgerclops as a big gentle guy but he knows the flaws that he dare not touches.

Mao Mao even showed us how he SAW Badgerclops when he exploded. That's guy eyes changed! Both of them turned blue! That's not normal for Badgerclops! His eyes are blue for a reason in this flashback that either Mao Mao knows and he isn't telling Adorabat, or he's doesn't think about it. The guy murdered a whole village over a hairdo.. wow, um, I'm pretty darn sure Mao is afraid, y'all.

So that can only mean one thing: Badgerclops' biggest flaw is trying to impress people over his personality before they decide to judge him by his looks. That's probably why when the Sweetie Pies first hugged him, he was ecstatic as heck to get more love and physical attention since he doesn't get that much from Mao Mao.

I'm sorry to say that Mao Mao doesn't even know the half of how much pain that has caused his friend to behave in a violent way, once hearing personal critism. Usually, people who are bullied a lot growing up have side effects of deep insecurities that they normally dig up and hide away for a big amount of time; BUT, once they are able to, they will unleash a mountain full of emotions that are unpredictable. I'm not saying everyone gets mad when they hear critism due to bullying. I just think that's BCs' case here.

His brother bullied him, his mom more than likely taunted and created a self conscious bubble for BC, and Mao Mao's neglect isn't helpful either. The fact that we see a new side of Badgerclops being super violent and has a large closet full of sad secrets is pretty sad and mind blowing to watch in this episode. But my favorite part is how much harder Mao Mao tries to show a different side to his relationship with Badgerclops and give him a chance to do as less damage as possible on his man's feelings. I think this one is an episode where we get to see an improvement from episode one and it truly shows.

But I still think Mao Mao was mainly afraid in this episode, which now we can't blame him for. In 'Ultraclops,' Mao Mao ignores Badgerclops' requests and venting to a point throughout their adventures we see. Badgerclops is a helpless little kid inside who just wants to be accepted and not picked at by the ones he encounters. That saying, especially his friends. Mao Mao may be improving but he has a lot more to work on with Badgerclops emotionally and mentally if they are ever going to truly figure out how to heal the wounds; instead of making more of them. I hope they work this out together.

Now I have only one theory about the blue eye colors and that's Badgerclops turning from bad to good. Maybe Mao Mao had such a big change in the ex-villains life that it improved his psychological help. Some people's eyes turn a little brighter once they face less stress in their lives so maybe BCs change in his eye was the one true way to prove it. But then when he gets mad and wants to murder anyone, they turn back blue to prove victory towards the bloody massacre.

That killer is what Mao Mao sees and does not want to kill. So he does ignore Badgerclops' feelings to a point where he still accepts his lover's emotions and for who he is anyway.. sometimes. But now we know how dangerous Badgerclops can be. What do you guys think? Do you think I'm right or wrong? Let me know your opinion too and hopefully I made sense today :)

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

SPIDERMAN AAAAHH i just saw the movie this brings me so much joy okay peter gets a cough or a cold or something not really that major and mr stark notices but doesn't say anything because he's like 'he'll tell me if he needs something' or whatever then when peter goes to get a drink or the bathroom idk FRIDAY is just like 'Mr Parker has a temperature of .... ' or 'needs urgent medical assistance' or smth

(This is a sweet ass prompt, anon. And I’m all for Tony trying to be a suave dad like “I must test him” and that fails horribly lmao bc Peter is a stubborn shit..here’s some more Spiderman! Also u might notice I’ve incorporated the tom holland meme discretely lol)

When Tony first discovered Peter through that YouTube video, he had seen him as a talent. A potential colleague in the future, a team mate and someone he could help along find their footing. But Tony had never anticipated what had come for him instead.

Instead what Tony found was a kid. A kid who was without a doubt, certainly a talent and special, but he was a kid. He was lost, he had issues, he was a misfit who desperately wanted to be like everyone else and didn’t exactly love himself. Peter had been exposed to the horrors of the world too soon; having lost his Uncle, who had been his father figure quite recently. He had daddy issues, and Tony was no stranger to those. In those eyes Tony saw himself years ago, a boy trying to pave his way through a misguided childhood, and trying to come out of it a man.

Tony had people who had helped him along the way, mentors, friends, the like. And for them, Tony would eternally be grateful. Tony could only hope he could be the same for Peter, because he deserved it. He really was a good kid.

A bond had grown between them, and Tony had grown caring and protective. This had not been his plan at all. He was unprepared, making it up as he went. Tony had no clue what it was like, what it took to become a father figure. Hell, how would he know something he never even had? Even so, he had made it a mission to make sure Peter could have something as close as possible. He knew he would come up short, but damn well Tony would try his hardest despite that.

Tony would try and push communication with Peter. What he recognised in Peter was the struggle to reach out to others, in fear of perhaps rejection or belittlement or the fear he would not be understood. When Peter did rarely reach out, he very much held back. Tony wanted Peter to be more open, so he could achieve this connection with others he longed to have.

Tony started inviting Peter more and more to the Stark Tower, much to the boy’s delight. He still had his pride, of course, he would still tell Peter not to get his hopes up and this doesn’t mean anything, but the both of them knew that was simply not the case. Tony had started to care for this boy.

So when Peter exited the the elevator, looking pale and ghostly, Tony couldn’t help but feel extremely worried.

Happy was not far behind him, raising an eyebrow at Tony. A sure symbol telling Tony that something was most certainly wrong.

“What’s up, Rudolph?” Tony greeted as Peter shuffled into the room, his already pale face a pasty white, besides a rubbed raw red nosed and dark circles beneath his eyes.

“Nothing much, I got an A in my Spanish test,” Peter said casually, his voice hoarse and ridden with congestion.

Tony blinked, the protective side of him desperately wanting to just pick up this kid and wrap him in blankets. He was so tempted to do so, just on the brink of scooping the kid in his arms but he refrained. Peter would tell him if something was seriously wrong, he would have to. Besides, they had just had that little heart to heart about communication last week, right?

Tony shrugged, “Thats good, Spanish is a good language to have in your back pocket. You wanna see this new suit I’m developing?”

Peter smiled weakly, “Of course Mr Stark!”

Peter coughed a chorus of congested, chesty little coughs into his arms for the third time since Tony began his lecture on a new technology he was developing.

“That’s super cool Mr Stark,” Peter rasped out, his voice extremely hoarse and congested, sounding like it was on its last breath.

Tony raised an eyebrow, “You alright there, Pete?”

Peter cleared his throat, sniffling softly, “I have a bit of a cough, Mr Stark.”

Tony nodded thoughtfully, taking this as progress. Peter was beginning to admit things, and that was enough for him. If things were to go awry, the kid would tell him. “Alright, Pete, give me a shout if you need anything or need to take a break.”

Peter coughed again into the crook of his arm, “Of course Mr Stark.”

“Peter, will you go and process this for me?” Tony asked casually, passing over Peter a sheet of calculations as he tweaked the coding of some advancement he and Peter were working on.

It took Peter a good few minutes to snap out of his fevered trance and he nodded. The sudden return to reality was jarring, and made him feel extremely dizzy. As he began to move for the first time in what seemed like forever was a little bit of a shock to his system, unable to walk in a straight line and shaking as he walked.

Peter squinted as the bright light of the screen shone, the intensity of the light blinding him and inducing a headache. He let out a barely audible groan of discomfort as his free hand made its way to his temple. He slowly and weakly typed out the calculations onto the computer, until an irresistible tickle itched at his throat.

Peter swallowed and cleared his throat, hoping that it would go away. The tickle pricked at the lining, causing his eyes to prick with irritated tears. He tried to keep it in, finding that he wasn’t really breathing. Eventually, the itching was too much and he exploded into a series of irritated, itchy coughs. He managed to lift his arm up to his mouth to conceal his germs, hacking an incredibly fit of chesty, throaty coughs that hurt his chest.

The tickle would only persist, causing more desperate coughs out of his chest. He just couldn’t stop, an endless series of coughing that he wished would just stop. Suddenly he felt a warm hand rubbing his back, and a glass of water being pressed against his lips. Peter drank gratefully, the fresh cool liquid soothing his inflamed throat.

“Thank you Mr Stark,” Peter croaked out, chest heaving as he struggled to regain his composure and catch his breath. He felt weak and faint due to the prolonged period without oxygen in his system. Peter leaned against the table to try and support his feeble body.

Tony sighed, “You sound like you’ve got a frog up your throat. But seriously though, kiddo, you’ll say something if you need something, correct?”

Peter nodded, “Yes, Mr Stark. I’m fine for now, it’s just one of the colds going around at school I guess.”

Tony nodded, unable to mask the suspicion and concern that was growing on his features. He turned back to the tech he was developing and Peter followed shortly after, but he still couldn’t quite shake the feeling he was making a mistake here.

Peter sniffled softly, wiping away at the beads of sweat dotting his forehead due to his fever. His cheeks felt extremely warm, and he was certain he resembled a toddler who was playing with their mother’s blusher. His head was pounding hard, like his brain was being thrusted and stabbed numerous times. He rubbed at his temple aggressively, willing the pain away but to no avail. He groaned, feeling extreme discomfort at how warm he felt.

His palms were sweaty and it was extremely gross for the touch screen computer he was working on. His vision was fading in and out of darkness, he could hear his heart thumping in his chest. He felt so panicked and sick that he couldn’t stand this, but he didn’t want to worry Tony or make him think he was weak. Peter had worked so hard to get Tony to like him and he didn’t want that all flushed down the drain.

“I’m just going to the bathroom, Mr Stark,” Peter announced, trying not to fall or walk straight into a table because the world was currently spinning. He had hoped if he had just splashed his face with some water he could cool down a little bit.

“Of course, Pete,” Tony replied, continuing to tweak at the piece of technology. He didn’t look up as Peter left, not noticing how Peter shook and wobbled as he walked in a zig zag formation.

Tony had lost track of time, engulfed and lost in his work when suddenly FRIDAY activated.

“Mr Stark,”

“Yes, FRIDAY?” Tony responded, not looking up from his work.

“Mr Parker has a temperature of an alarming rate at 103.4 degrees. He has currently lost consciousness and is on the floor of the nearest bathroom.”

Tony’s heart dropped. He felt a wave of nausea rush through his body and an icy, bitter cold sensation wash over his system as he froze. He breathed in heavily, heart heavy and breathing shallow, “..O-okay, thank you f-for letting me k-know, FRIDAY.”

Once Friday deactivated once again, Tony inhaled sharply then was sprinting towards the bathroom.

Being a superhero, there were numerous times where he had to run fast. Times where he had to sprint his heart out for the sake of his own life. However Tony had never ran as fast as he did now, running for what may have not been his own life, but a life that meant more to him than his own.

He burst through the bathroom door and found Peter curled up on the cold hard ground, looking extremely sick and pale. Tony let out a small gasp, his heart breaking and racing as he looked down at this boy who looked so weak and like he had fallen apart. All because Tony was too slow to catch him.

Tony took in a shaky breath, kneeling down to examine Peter’s face. His skin was scorching hot, his face scrunched up in discomfort. His hands shook violently as he examined the boy, letting out a quivering breath in anxiety.

“F-Friday, p-please do an evaluation on Mr Parker,” Tony stuttered.

“Mr Parker has a high fever and a bad cough. Should the cough not be treated this could potentially gravitate into something a lot worse, for example a chest infection.”

Tony breathed in shakily, running sweaty hands through his hair in anxiety. His heart raced and chest cold, swallowing hard, trying to steady his rigged breathing. He blinked back tears, feeling a plethora of guilt of guilt flood his anxious mind.

“P-please tell me w-what to do,” Tony basically whimpered.

“First sir, you must stay calm. Panicking will not do Mr Parker any good.”

“I can’t not fucking panic! This kid is sick because I fucked up! Tell me what to do!” Tony snapped.

“Mr Stark, your emotions are clouding you. As a father figure to Mr Parker you must not hold any resentment towards yourself because it does not benefit either you.”

Tony slid against the wall, hands pulling at his hair, “I can’t do that, FRIDAY. I can’t be enough for Peter. I’m not enough for him. I want to be. This kid deserves the world and..I can’t give it to him. How can I give him something I’ve never had?”

“You cannot give Peter the world. It is as simple as that. He never asked for that. He needs you, no one else. The first thing you just do to fully love another individual is to love yourself first.”

Tony began to relax slowly, letting out a shaky laugh, “That’s really dumb and cheesy. I didn’t know I programmed a sappy rom com into my AI..but that actually helped. Thank you, FRIDAY. I guess..I’m just upset that I can’t give him everything.”

“No one can. He can never have everything, Mr Stark. That’s just the way of life. All he’s asking is for you to be there.”

“I will.”

“Are you now ready to receive instructions on how to care for Mr Parker?”

“Yes I am.”

Tony scooped Peter into his arms, heading towards the room that had been prepared for his stay. Over the past few months, Peter had started growing a small collection of his own stuff to put there. In fact there was a small drawer filled with things for his best friend Ned when he sometimes came over.

Tony put Peter down onto the bed, tucking him into the blankets. He brushed away the strands of sweaty fair off his fevered forehead and sighed quietly.

“Okay, what do I do?”

“Go and retrieve a damp washcloth for his forehead.”

Tony went off to get one, and draped the towel over Peter’s forehead. The younger boy let out a tiny noise of satisfaction, his face relaxing and as did his muscles, looking a lot less tense and uncomfortable.

“I’ve contacted your doctor to check on Mr Parker. I’ve also forwarded all information from his scan so he can come equipped with medicine.”

“You’re the best, FRIDAY.”

“I know, Mr Stark.”

“God, a lot of me translated into your coding, huh?”

Peter woke up the next morning, feeling weak and groggy, but a lot better than he had yesterday. He shielded his eyes from the light coming from the window. He blinked in confusion as he felt the soft mattress and crisp white sheets. As far as he knew, he was on the bathroom floor.

He got up, trying to make himself aware of his surroundings and trying to piece together what had happened when he heard the door creaking open. He whipped his head around to see who it was.

Tony’s eyes widened, “Oh! You’re awake!”

“..what..?” Peter stated, extremely confused.

Tony smirked and set down a tray of medicine, a mug of tea and an extremely aromatic soup. He sat down at the edge of the bed, “You fainted on the bathroom floor and you had a  dangerously high fever. I had to call a doctor to come in.”

Peter felt a pang of guilt strike him as he bit his lip, “I’m so sorry, Mr–”

Tony softened, “No no, I’m not mad. Well, I am kinda.”

Peter looked down awkwardly, feeling guilty still. It was like when Aunt May was scolding him for not cleaning up properly and leaving a mess or coming home late. Super awkward.

“I’m kinda mad because I told you many times to tell me when you needed something. I thought we had a deal to communicate. We had a heart to heart last week and everything.”

“..I know, Mr Stark, I’m sorry. I just..i worked so hard for you to like me and now you finally are and I was just afraid that when you saw the actual me, weak me, that that would all go down the drain and you wouldn’t like me and this time you wouldn’t take me back–”

“What?! Peter, I would never–” Tony cut himself off and sighed deeply, pinching the bride of his nose. He inhaled.

“..Okay..you know what. I shouldn’t be mad at you. You know why? Because I’m not listening to my own advice either. It’s not fair I get to break the rules.”

Peter looked confused.

“..I’m not communicating with you either. I’m sorry I made you feel that way, Pete. I know I act like I don’t want you around..but the hard cold fact is I really do, and I’m so so sorry it came across that way. I just..really care about you, Peter. I was so worried last night when I found you unconscious. I thought I had lost you..that I had failed you..”

“You don’t owe me anything, Mr Stark.”

“..No. I do. You are my family now, just like Rhodes or Happy is. Recently, I’ve really come to care about you and I short-circuited. I was so afraid I wouldn’t be enough for you and that I would fuck up just like my dad and make the same mistakes.”

Peter softened, “Mr Stark..you are enough..”

Tony shook his head, “No, I’m not. I never will be. And that’s fine. Im never going to–but I will still try. I’m not going anywhere, Peter.”

Peter blinked back tears, inhaling sharply, laughing shakily, “T-thank you, M-Mr Stark. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t either,” Tony said, wrapping an arm around Peter and pulling him close and embracing him into a warm, loving hug.

Tony pulled away, a smirk creeping onto his lips, “Okay, time for medicine!”

Peter made a face of disgust.

Tony opened a bottle of medicine, carefully pouring the liquid into the spoon but messed up and ended up spilling some onto the sheets.

“Well shit–hey, I just said I would fuck up a lot,” Tony chuckled.

Peter giggled, “That’s perfectly okay with me.”

[ellanainthetardis]

Hey! If you're still taking prompts,,, can u do one where Effie gets/already has/needs glasses but she doesn't want to wear them or smth so she's squinting around but then haymitch is like wtf wear them and then he thinks she looks hot in them and sexy time ensues?

AND

Hayffie prompt? Effie wears glasses but is really insecure about them bcof her mom or something and Haymitch sees her w/out makeup wearing them…? Andreassures her she’s always been beautiful or something like that maybe pre mjidk it’s up to you THANK YOU

AND

Most prompts in my inbox about glasses :) [X]

The Pink Glasses

Haymitch startledawake with a strangled cry, heart pounding inside his chest, eyes searching theroom for the nightmarish monsters that lurked in his dreams. It had been thepink flamingos mutts that night. And Maysilee, of course. Always Maysilee.

It took him a fewminutes to make out the familiar outlines of the furniture. It was a moonlessnight and not much light was spilling from the windows. With a sigh, he slumpedback against his pillow and rubbed his face. He waited for the unease to passbut it didn’t, not even after a few gulps of moonshine. Not that surprisingreally.  

At long last hegave up and got out of bed. It was only a little past one in the morning and hesensed it would be one of those nights were only a good dose of liquor wouldconvince him to go back to sleep.

He tried to avoidgetting wasted lately though, ever since Effie had showed up at his door. Shehad nightmares and he had taken to comforting her from them - or he tried to, at least.

He would get abook. Or watch something completely stupid on TV. Maybe that would do thetrick. He had half a mind to take a leaf out of Effie’s book and spend thenight cleaning the house just to have something physical to do.

He tried to avoidthe creaking floorboards but paused at the top of the stairs when he chanced aglance at the guest room. He could see the soft glow of the bedside lampslipping through the half-opened door.

She always keptthe lights on at night, she couldn’t sleep without them – unless she crawled in his bed, she had no trouble sleeping in thesemi-darkness then. He always woke upwhen she did that. He didn’t always let her know but he always woke up. Andthen, when he fell back asleep, he always slept better. Because there wasnothing more peaceful to him than having her within reach. Sometimes, theyended up cuddling and that was even better, the source of warmth at his side,the smell of her perfume… It was usually enough to make him feel safe.

He rubbed hiseyes again, really not in the mood to spend half the night trying to run awayfrom the ghosts lurking in the shadows. He wanted to sleep, in truth. He wasexhausted.

And he couldn’tafford liquor but maybe…

His feet took herto her room before he could talk himself out of it.

He pushed herdoor completely open with some hesitation, relaxing a little when he found herin bed, a book propped on her bend knees and ridiculously pink glasses perchedon her nose. He wouldn’t have climbed in her bed uninvited – his was alwaysopen to her but the reverse… he wouldn’t take that for granted.

She snatched theglasses off her nose and frowned a little at him. “Is something wrong?”

He made a face,shuffled his weight from one bare foot to the next and then stepped in, vaguelygesturing to the bed. “You mind if…”

He let hissentence trail off on purpose.

She studied him.He kept his gaze resolutely away from hers but he knew she could see everythingon his face anyway. The tightness at the corner of his mouth, the reddish eyes,the shaking hands… She had known him too long not to know the signs.

“Of course not.”she smiled, lifting the blankets in invitation and moving closer to her side ofthe bed. He climbed in without needing to be told twice, curled up on his sideto watch her, leaving enough space between them that she wouldn’t feel crowded.“Do you want to talk about it?” He snorted because it was a stupid question andshe rolled her eyes.   “Well, it was only polite to ask.”

“Won’t staylong.” he promised, wary of forcing his presence on her.

He wasn’t certainwhere they were at.

She lived in hishouse – as temporarily as she claimed that arrangement was – she sought him forcomfort but their friendship was on rocky ground since the war. And the part oftheir acquaintance that wasn’t friendship… Well… That part seemed to have beenlost somewhere. Not for him. That was the irony. He had reached Thirteen andsuddenly everything had been very, very clear.What he felt for her, how much he needed her… So obviously fate being the bitchit was, he had lost her to the Capitol. And he had gotten her back…

He had thoughtthey might be alright at first. The first few weeks after her rescue… She hadclung to him, had dismissed his apologies and explanations because she couldn’tdeal with them, had refused to stop and think about what had happened becauseshe needed him to go on. They had fallen back in bed, albeit hesitantly on herpart, a few times but he had known something was wrong even then. The changehad been gradual but he had seen it coming. When he had announced he needed toleave with Katniss…

He had nevermeant for that to mean they couldn’t be together but she had exploded in a rageof accusations. She had claimed he had only used her for sex – from the start –that he always left her behind, that he didn’t care… He had refuted everythingand had asked her to come with them but she had been hysterical in her mistrustand there had been no convincing her. He hadn’t had much time to do so either.With only an hour to spare, he had been forced to leave her to collect Katniss,very much hammering the nail in the coffin of their relationship.

He had honestlybeen surprised when she had showed up in Twelve, even more stunned when she hadquietly – and discreetly – asked him if he could host her for a little whileuntil she found a new place, a job and some stability. He had opened his house,of course, and his arms with it.

At no point hadthey discussed what had happened on the day of his departure for Twelve. Theyacted as if they never had a relationship that was more than friendship. Itwasn’t mentioned, it wasn’t hinted at and there was no clue that she wanted himto bring it up so he tried to respect her wishes.

“It is alright.”she hummed, looking back at her book. “You can stay the night if you want. Iinvade your bedroom often enough. Turnabout is fair play.”

Turnabout is fair play…

How many timeshad that sentence been used in a different context?

He chasedmemories of her delicate hands gripping his wrists out of his mind. Sneaking inher bed because he had a nightmare was bad enough, getting a boner once therebecause of a stupid phrase would be pathetic.

He didn’tacknowledge that offer even if he relaxed a little against the pillow. Hecouldn’t see what she was reading. She wasn’t usually a great reader, the onlynovels he had seen her read were romance stuff he certainly didn’t have on hisshelves. She hadn’t gone out in weeks and he was pretty sure she didn’t havebooks in her suitcase – she hadn’t brought much in her suitcase but secondhandclothes that were too thin for Twelve and all the mementos she had managed tosave from her apartment both after it was ransacked and after it was seized bythe government.

He couldn’t seethe cover and the few words he caught on the page didn’t tell him much. It wasvaguely familiar but it didn’t ring any bell. It was a paperback though somaybe she had found something she had liked on his bookshelf. He had a goodcollection of cheap Capitol novels he had picked up over the years. Crimenovels and thrillers, mainly. Not quite her thing, though.

His gaze traveledfrom the page to her face and he smirked when he saw her squinting a little.

“Those glasses mightwork better on your nose.” he teased, tapping the fist in which the glasseswere trapped.

She made a face.“They are just for comfort. I don’t need them.”

“Light isn’t goodfor reading.” he pointed out.

She pursed herlips and turned the page a little too abruptly. “I am perfectly fine.”

She clearlywasn’t but he wasn’t sure he wanted to press that particular button.

Fashion was fornatural looks thanks to the Districts’ influence, she claimed. And he knewperfectly well just how ill-at-ease she was about that. She never wore wigsanymore, kept her make-up light… She didn’t have the kind of money needed toafford a couture wardrobe… She wasself-conscious about the scars on her body… He had never known her to beinsecure before the war, not when she had still be in full battle armor, exceptwhen he had asked her to take the make-up and the wig off… It had taken him along time to convince her to let him see her bare and natural, even longer toconvince her he actually liked her betterlike that. She had eventuallygrown comfortable with being without artifices around him, simply happy that heliked what he saw, but she had never learned to see herself like he saw her.

So now, walkingaround with blond hair she judged too plain and not enough make-up to hide theflaws she always found on her face… She never hinted at not being at ease withthat but he saw it.

“I’ve seen thembefore.” he shrugged, taking pain to keep his voice casual. “It’s no big deal.”

But for her it would be.

He wasn’t evensure how she could have hidden the glasses as long as she had. He had onlyfound out during the Tour because he had walked in her room late one nightwithout knocking first to find her crossed-legged on the bed, hair pinned up ina messy bun, glasses on top of her nose and looking completely dead on herfeet. They had both been dead on their feet back then. They had spent halftheir nights on that Tour perfecting speeches and going over schedules to thepoint they hadn’t seen straight – and to the point she hadn’t really caredabout her looks because they had been too focused on making sure the kids cut it.

“Nothing is evera big deal for you.” she grumbled.

Again, he thoughtit would be wiser to let the matter drop entirely. But he had never been verygood at letting things drop.

“What’s thatsupposed to mean?” he retorted, probably too defensively.

She shot him aglare, opening her mouth only to close it again, take a deep breath and focuson her book again. “Nothing.”

“Oh, come on…” hescoffed. “Don’t do the passive aggressive bullshit.You’ve got something to say, fucking sayit. Never stopped yourself before.”

She pursed herlips in clear annoyance but when she talked, her tone was clipped and calm. “Itwas before.”

His irritationfaded. He slowly reached out across the space between them again, lightlystroking her forearm with a finger. She didn’t shrug him off and he countedthat as a win but she didn’t give any clue that it was welcome either so hefolded his finger, letting his hand rest there on the bed, not too far from herwrist. “Maybe we should talk aboutbefore, Effie.”

“About which partspecifically?” she chuckled bitterly. “The Games? Prison? Those are not periodsof my life I care to revisit.”

“Us.” he said.

How such a smallword could sound so ominous, he didn’t know. He was reminded of the terrifyingnoise of the bombs raining down on them in Thirteen. How a sound could be soterrible…

“Was there everan us to talk about?” she scowled and then shook her head. “I do not know whatyou want me to say, Haymitch. We never had anything. We had sex. We had…”

“It was more thanthat.” he spat, propping himself on his elbow just so they were at the sameheight. He didn’t want to have this conversation with her towering over him.“You know it was more than that. Notat first, yeah… But, come on,sweetheart… Maybe I was a stubborn blind idiot but you never were.”

She sighed andlet her book fall close on her finger, staring at the round light the lampprojected on the ceiling. “I cannot afford for us to fight and for you to kickme out…”

“I would never…”he protested.

“…or for me tofeel that I should leave because I am not saying what you want to hear.” shefinished without even pausing to acknowledge he had opened his mouth. “I havenowhere else to go.”

“You’re homehere.” he frowned. “Look, I’m a grown man, I can take a no and not be an ass about it.”

She studied himfor a few seconds, looking thoughtful. “A noto what question? Are you asking for sex?”

“No.” he snapped.“I’m asking for… I’m asking if…” He stopped, cringed at his own inability toword that stuff and eventually flopped down on his back and pressed the heelsof his hands against his eyes, wondering why he had even gotten out of bed atall. He should simply have remained there with his moonshine and… “Guess I’masking if there’s any hope you’re ever going to forgive me.”

“For what?” sheasked.

He chuckledbitterly. “Ain’t gonna make this easy for me, are you?”

“Not in theleast.” she confirmed.

There was a hintof teasing in her voice and he dropped his hands to look at her again. And shewas so beautiful… Reddish blond hair falling on to a little below her chin inwild curls, sparkling blue eyes, lips that begged to be kissed…

“Letting youdown.” he said at last. “I’m sorry for letting you down. I never meant for youto get hurt. Never.”

“I know.” shehummed, averting her eyes. “I had a few… chatswith Plutarch. What happened to me… You were not responsible for it. Iunderstand that and I do not blame you.”

“I should havegrabbed you and kept you with me.” he growled, old regrets railing their uglyheads. “Shouldn’t have trusted anyone else to do my job.”

��Protecting mewasn’t your job, Haymitch. Your job was to protect the children. My job was to protect all of you.” shecorrected.

“A man protectshis family.” he countered. That was how he had been raised. That was what hehad sworn to himself after his father had walked out on them. “A man protectshis…” Words failed him. He wasn’t sure which one was the right one. Lover would have been too dismissive. Girlfriend was ridiculous. Wife was too much and as inaccurate asit got. Partner was too vague. In theend he swallowed hard and shook his head. “You’re my family and I shouldn’thave trusted anyone else to protect you.”

“You thought itwas safer that way.” she pointed out. “And from what Plutarch told me, you didnot have much choice anyway. He was the one calling the shots.”

He suspectedPlutarch had tried to direct her anger on himself to spare him but he didn’twant to live in a lie. “I had weight. I could have insisted. I let themconvince me that the hovercraft could be shot out of the sky at any point andthat you would be safer with the prep team.”

“Was it true?”she asked, sounding curious.

“If it had workedout, then yeah.” he admitted. “But it didn’t and…”

“I do not blameyou for that.” she cut him off.

“But you blame mefor something else.” he sighed, rubbing his face. “For leaving with Katniss…”

“Not really.” sheadmitted quietly. “I was angry about you leaving me, yes, but I knew you hadto. I just… I did not want to be left alone.”

“You could havecome.” he said. “I told you… I wantedyou to come.”

“I did.” shepointed out.

“Yeah, after awhole year of silence and because you had no more money and no roof over yourhead.” he scoffed and immediately regretted it when she flinched. He grabbedher wrist before she could even think about doing something as stupid asfleeing. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m…” He sighed. “I ain’t good at this, sweetheart, you know I ain’t.”

“I wanted you toput me first.” she whispered, her eyes riveted to the hand encasing her wrist.“It is stupid, of course, because even then I knew the children had to come first, I would not havewanted it any other way either, but… For once, I wanted to be the mostimportant thing for you. It was utterly selfish, naturally, but as you so oftenpointed out, I am very selfish. Ijust wanted someone to put me first.”

He closed hiseyes, squeezing her wrist by reflex. “Katniss…”

“I know,Haymitch.” she sighed. “I know. They are your children and I come after themand it is as it should be but… It is hard to never be enough.”

“They’re yourkids too.” he argued. “And you’re enough. You’ve always been more than fucking enough. You’re… You’re so farout my league, it’s a joke.”

She rolled hereyes. “And yet you prefer a ghost to me.”

His heart misseda beat at the barely veiled reference to Mabel. He hadn’t spared a thought forhis dead girl in a very long time. Not like she was implying at least.

“Effie…” hefrowned.

But she gentlyfreed herself from his grip and he fell silent, watching as she placed theglasses back on her nose. She didn’t open the book again though.

“It hurts not tobe loved as much as you love someone.” she whispered. “I should be used to it,I know, but… I do not think I ever loved anyone as much as I have loved you. Ido not think you ever realized how much I…” She laughed and it was all wrong.Sad and bitter. “I would have left the Capitol if you had asked. If it had beenpossible for me to give up my citizenship and go with you to Twelve, I wouldhave. I knew you would never consent to live in the city with me so I wouldhave left it behind for you. I would have become a nobody for you. I wouldhave… I would have killed for you. Iwould have done anything to pleaseyou. I have loved you that badly.Blindly. Completely. I would have died for you and I almost did in those cells.Out of loyalty. Out of… I refused to hate you. They were harsher on me becauseI refused to hate you.” She sighed. “Ihate myself for giving you that much power over me. I was a fool. I am a fool. My mother was right all alongand that vexes me perhaps even more than you not loving me enough.”

It was a lot totake in and Haymitch clenched his jaw, torn between getting angry and defensiveand just being sad over the whole mess.

“You don’t knowwhat it is to lose people you love.” he stated quietly.

“I lost my familyand all my friends to this war.” she spat. “I lost my parents, my sister, mynephews… I lost Finnick. I lost…”

She fell silent,took a deep breath and breathed out slowly.

He took advantageof that, staring at the wall straight ahead, regretting having even startedthat conversation in the first place. “You weren’t sixteen and they’re not deadbecause of you. Ain’t saying it’s not hard, sweetheart, just… It’s different. Loving someone… For me it wasa death sentence. You know that. They would have used you against me and then…Then what?” He shook his head.“You’re angry ‘cause I made you a fool? Sweetheart, how many times did I makemyself a fool for you?”

“I do not see…”she started.

He scoffed,cutting her off. “I’ve been the butt of the joke ever since we slept togetherthe first time, Effie. Chaff and Finnick… Everyone else… They kept teasing andI kept denying and I was always the butt of the joke ‘cause they knew how Ifelt and it was funny to them ‘cause it was just ridiculous. Victor and escort…Not exactly the stuff of fairy tales.”

“We were not thefirst.” she pointed out.

“Sure, weweren’t. We weren’t the only ones.” he shrugged. “Ain’t the point, is it? Pointis… It was easier to make it a joke ‘cause it was too dangerous. I couldn’t fuckingbear a guy simply flirting with you, I almost killed a hundred of them just forputting their paws on you at those parties…” He shook his head. “I spent entirewinters obsessing over you, what you were doing, with who… You’re worse thanbooze sometimes… I crave you like…You’re like a buzz under my skin. And, yeah, I didn’t want it at the time‘cause feeling that much…” He lickedhis lips. “Losing you… See, I told myself again and again I hated you even whenI knew better deep down and it wasn’teven enough to stop me from… I lost everyone once and it fucking destroyed me. If I had let them know… If I had let myself know… I couldn’t risk that. Icouldn’t risk losing you. So I’m fuckingsorry I don’t know how to make pretty speeches, can’t even tell you how much I…Got no excuse, really, but I can promise one thing. It wasn’t about unrequitedfeelings. Never was about unrequited feelings.”

There was a verylong silence.

Then fingers brushedhis closed fist, stroke his skin until it unclenched and her palm could slidagainst his.

“We are toxic foreach other.” she said slowly. “There is too much passion between us. All we dois hurt each other.”

“That’s a lie.”he scowled. “At first maybe but now… I need you. You need me.” At least, hehoped so. “We help each other. We’re a team. We’re still a team, yeah?”

“Always.” shepromised with a  soft smile.

She played withhis fingers and he let her, bracing himself for the next part.

“You used pasttense.” he commented after a couple of minutes. She had said she had loved him and that…

“I have spent along time trying to convince myself my feelings for you are past tense.” sheadmitted. “But…” She sighed and placed the book on the bedside table to slidfurther down the bed, taking off her pink glasses to toy with them. She twirledthem by one of the branches. “You never treated me like Capitol men did. Thatwas what made it impossible for me to let you go. You saw me, the real me, andyou wanted me anyway. Plain and common Effie”

He snorted androlled on his side to steal the glasses from her hand. “I’ve never seen youlooking plain.”

A spark ofamusement danced in her eyes. “I love that you think I am not plain without my make-up and my wigs. And I love thatyou think I am not ugly with those glasses.”

“I’m liking thepresent tense.” he smirked, gently pushing the glasses back on her nose.“Though, I don’t think, I’m just stating a fact. You’re gorgeous. Anyonewho looks at you can see that.”

She leaned in andhis smirk softened. He strained his neck to meet her lips halfway, thirsty forthem like he had never been thirsty for anything else. It was a tame kiss, abit hesitant maybe. And the glasses were squashed between them, which made themboth chuckle like idiots.

“Alright, maybethey’re better off when we do that…” he commented, drawing back just enough toslip them off and toss them on the bedside table. Just in time for her tobundle his shirt in her fist and tug him in a kiss that was a lot less tame.

Well…

If he had knowntalking about glasses would solve so many unvoiced problems he would have triedit a long time ago.