#even worse i wore my Not Piss Proof leggings aka these make me look like i’ve literally peed bc of the sweat

[whirlybirbs]

my planet fitness had a humidity of 99% today. the walls were wet. everyone’s sneakers were squeaking. i had 250mg of caffeine and beta alanine coursing through me. if you asked me to kill with my bare hands i would have done so without flinching. i’ve never been so overstimulated in my LIFE.

[pingou7]

A car, two cops and a stardust — a RebelCaptain road trip fic

by @pingou7 pingou  for @thestarbirdfromtheashes Starbird

(aka the Road trip fic Diego Luna’s filmography made me write)

Read and enjoy, and please consider leaving me a few words.

Summary:

As the dusty roads criss under Kes Dameron’s old car, Cassian Andor lets the wind mess with his hair through the open window. Dust, sunshine, laughter, its easy to recapture the taste of days long gone.

(…)

At a gas station near Corpus Chirsti, when they climb back after taking a piss, both jump out of their skins as a random brunette, eyes thunderous, hisses dangerously from the backseat:

“Just pretend I’m not here.”

Update: Part 4 is up!

Read more on AO3 (or under the cut)

Part 4 — From Gina’s House, San Diego, CA to Tijuana, Baja, Mexico Day 3

After seven hours of unaltered sleep, Cassian Andor feels refreshed and ready to greet the day. Once passed the surprise of feeling a hand other than his own on his cheek, that is. If Jyn is guarded awake, she has no such reservation asleep. She was all curled against his side but doesn't stir when he stands up.

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and tiptoes out of the bedroom, like when he was a teen who didn’t want to be caught. Unfortunately, like then, it’s no use against his brother’s keen hearing and Kes opens his door as soon as Cassian passes in front of it.

“So, one night out of the car and you’ve already made your move Andor?”

“You could have fetched me if you missed me so much, cabrón.”

“Didn't need to, Poe gave me a stuffy, so I wouldn't miss him.”

“You tell me that, but you're afraid of the dark and your four years old man knows it.”

Both smile as they think of the little boy that is the legacy of the Charolastras, until suddenly Kes looks at him, and says conversationally as they reach the end of the staircase:

“You know, the collar of your shirt looks like it was drooled on and you smell kinda fruity.”

“Duly noted, Sergeant. Your point is?”

“I’m happy there’s something nice about this halt, that’s all.”

Cassian doesn’t say that nothing happened outside actually sleeping together, because to him, it meant something. He had not slept with a girl in the truest sense of the word in almost a decade, as pathetic as it is, so it’s perhaps more meaningful because they didn’t have sex. Still, he’s grateful he could offer something, some companionship, even if they were asleep half the time.

He can’t begin to explain that to Kes, or he would call him a sap, and he’d be right. They pad into the kitchen, greet Gina who's taking her pills — more than the last time they were here — with a trembling hand.

“Did you sleep well my boys? You left a room to Jyn I hope.”

“Don't worry Tía, Cassian was the perfect gentleman,” Kes assures with a teasing glint while said gentleman rolls his eyes.

They help themselves with coffee and toast and as soon as she leaves to go to the bathroom, Kes addresses the pressing issue:

“Did you get any chance talk to Jyn, cabrón? Besides the whole foreplay business?”

“No, nothing worth mentioning, why?”

“Assuming she goes along for the ride, how does she plan to cross the border?”

“She has her ID with her, several of them in fact, it’s all she brought with her apparently.”

Along with a Swiss pocket knife and a little box — a sort of sleeve he didn’t want to open — but it would best to keep this to himself for now. Let’s just say a woman should have secrets, Cassian silently mocks, knowing Kes already is too intrigued by this:

“Thief or murderer, she said. Maybe there was more truth to it than we wanted to see.”

“She doesn’t strike me like someone who would commit bloody crimes. But thievery, why not, she’s uncannily good at sneaking around.”

“Tell me about it,” Kes sighs, “if someone in the precinct knows how she played us from the very beginning, with her Houdini tricks, our credibility is over.”

“Kay knows, but I don’t think he’d rattle us out.”

“Not if you explicitly told him to shut his mouth, no. You two are an item and I believe even he puts your friendship above duty.”

“Do I detect jealousy here, Dameron? I gave you to Shara years ago, you should learn to share.”

“Oh, I know how to share just fine, these last days are proof enough, I’m just saying I find your relationship a bit too exclusive sometimes.”

“I love you too,” Cassian smirks as Gina comes back, rubbing a bandaid on her arm.

She goes to sit on the sofa, picks up her knitting and so they don't pay much attention at first when they hear Jyn coming down.

White blouse, a bit frilly, with sensible warm colored pants, her hair down, and a piece of colorful cloth in her hair… she looks beautiful, a completely different woman than the one who made irruption in their car some thirty hours ago.

“Jyn, you look… I thought you didn't like girlie stuff?”

“I don't, and I'm slightly uncomfortable, truth be told, but your aunt took my clothes away to launder, and she had this sorted out instead so… thankfully she left my vest alone.”

“What that moron tried to say, Jyn,” Kes interrupts, clearly amused, “is that you clean up nice. Now why don't you show Gina her handiwork? It'd make her happy.”

“Okay,” she agrees awkwardly, “tell me when you're ready to leave.”

“Really, Cassian,” he whispers conspiratorially in Spanish, “I know she's pretty but you could make an effort! I feel like I'm dealing with Kay here. Get a grip man.”

But Cassian is still tongue-tied seeing Jyn looking so feminine. Between her practical clothes and the conservative nightgown, he didn’t quite analyze her figure before. Lean legs for all she’s short, nice curves, shiny hair: really nice indeed.

As foreseen, their host is delighted by the change, though she is pale and slightly panting. It is like receiving a bucket of ice water, seeing Gina like this and Cassian wants to hug the illness away from her, like she used to keep his grief at bay for months, enclosing he and Kes in long and frequent hugs.

“I should have brought Poe and Shara,” his brother whispers dejectedly and Cassian can’t do anything more than putting a hand on his shoulder.

The woman who has been their savior at a time when they were left adrift is really dying. It matters little that it’s from old age, they were right to hurry. When Nadia called to say it would be judicious to make an halt to San Diego before their anniversary trip to Bernal, they knew her mother wouldn’t be the picture of health. It was to be expected expected, but it still hurts. 

Cassian would like to stay longer — should they do some grocery shopping for her? Does she has appointments? — but clearly it would be of little use, particularly without Shara or Poe. Jyn is restless already, coming up to them and whispering, face unfathomable:

“Look, does your offer still stands?”

“Which one?”

“Were you joking when you said I could cross the border with you if I wanted to?”

“You want to go along for the whole ride then? Is Cassian to thank for that?”

“Shut up, cursí,” he grows out loud while Gina has the gall to glare at them disapprovingly, making Jyn smile a bit.

“Not for the reason you imagine, Kes-adillas, but I talked to my... friends yesterday, and they thought I’d be better off with you than running on my own. And since Cass offered...”

Cassian outward groans this time, making Kes guffaw and Jyn smirks, but he nods, taking each of them by the shoulder.

“Okay then, Stardust!”

Even a blind man could have seen the flinch — the spasm, more like — that coursed through Jyn at hearing the nickname she mentioned during their first car game. Kes frowns back at her but hastily says:

“Stardust is a no go then? You said you were called that, or child and little sister, but were roughly the same age, and no family, sorry if —”

“No, no it’s fine, no harm done, you can call me stardust if you want. It would be nice to have better memories attached to that nickname anyway.”

She puts on a brave face, but her smile is a little strained still. Cassian remembers it came from her parents (she had also mentioned a guardian) so it’s likely there’s something traumatic behind such sharp reaction. Kes must have come to a similar conclusion because he says reassuringly:

“Creating good memories are our specialty, so don’t worry, it’ll be a fun ride, plus Cass will surely want invest himself body and soul to the task.”

“Enough already cabrón.”

“Kes, be a good boy, fetch Jyn’s bag and put it in your car. It’s in the laundry room,” Gina chimes in, seeing Jyn and Cassian bothered.

“You must be mistaken. I have no bag.”

“Well, you do now, even if it’s just a few spare clothes and toiletries,” Gina retorts in a stern voice the Charolastras are quite familiar with, even if it’s a pale echo of her former assertive tone.

Jyn is left speechless for the first time while Kes executes himself like their aunt was the drill sergeant and not him. Cassian looks around, feeling amused when Jyn follows Kes with a dumbstruck expression.

“Gracias tía,” he says slowly, bending over to leave a shadow of a kiss against her parched cheek.

“Hush, I just ensured that she had some fresh clothes, that’s all! I saw she wore your jacket yesterday, but you’re not in high school anymore, and besides it’s no letterman jacket.”

“You should stop watching stupid teenage tv shows. Plus I was a geek, not a jock, and she’s not my girl.”

“Isn’t she really? And don’t presume to tell me what I should do or not, young Andor! Watching stupid shows is one of the few privileges of retirement.”

He keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t say he’s not likely to reach the canonical age that would enable him such harmless pleasure. Even worse, he surmises the old woman herself wouldn’t be able to indulge much longer. Her skin as taken a yellowing tinge, her hands keep trembling... Cassian knows the sound and sight of farewell and it breaks his heart to witness his oldest surrogate relative discreetly fading like this.

“Your brother is a kill-joy,” she says unperturbedly as the two other people return, brushing away Jyn’s thanks.

“Yep... and yet, his best mate Kay’s even worse.”

“Make sure you’ll keep him relatively happy then,” Gina says like Cassian was not standing right here.

Maybe it was mean to be harmless but the air is sucked out off his lungs and even Jyn purses her plush lips when Dameron replies too solemnly:

“I will.”

It’s clear after that their aunt expects them to go — they weren’t meant to stay very long. Upon departure, the brothers stall as much as they can. She gingerly extracts herself from their entwined arms, and her eyes — the same as her late sister — are brimming with tears. Cassian is used to control his emotions, all part of the job, but the sore lump in his throat is the same that makes Kes swallow harshly.

“We’ll return on our way back, Tía, so wait for us,” he says a bit too heartily, and Cassian wants to grimace at the obviousness of it.

Gina graces Dameron with a tender smile but turns stern when Jyn and him say goodbye.

“I’ll expect to see the two of you... next time.”

“I can’t promise anything,” the fugitive says awkwardly, “but, thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

They take the road again, with Kes behind the wheel. Nobody feels like speaking, the radio is off and the two cops and the woman called Stardust are each lost in their own thoughts. Cassian should be happy Jyn hasn’t vanished yet, that he has more time to solve her mysteries, but at the moment his mind is still trapped in the fourteen year old self that is immortalized in an old lady’s photograph. Shara should be with them, for Gina, and perhaps for Jyn too. Perhaps she would trust a woman more, even if marrying Kes ought to reflect not so favorably on her character, he reflects wryly.

At the U.S. Customs and Border Protection to get to Tijuana, Cassian is almost surprised to see Jyn handing out her relevant ID — green card included — considering he saw at least two ID under different names than the one they know her under, and even Kes remarks on her compliance. They were half-expecting her to crawl under the seats again and they’d joked the car wasn’t powerful enough to force the check point:

“Is this your real passport?”

"Oh, I have others, if you wish,” she says cheekily, “but that one is authentic. You already know my real name, and you're both cops, I'm not stupid."

Jyn Lyra Erso, born in Birmingham, England, United Kingdom on October 17th 1988.

Still, it’s surprisingly considerate of her, maybe foolish, even, if she wants to hide... Of all the possibilities Cassian has thought of, the less problematic one didn’t even register. Despite her usual sass, she’s clearly nervous, even after they reach the Mexican side. She’s just not making any sense to him, he silently muses as she pockets the papers back, a little short of breath, while Dameron too gives her a puzzled glance.

“Trust goes both ways,” she declares, “I’ve trusted you, you can trust me.”

Kes sends her a sunny smile, satisfied, but she catches his eyes, and he reads the message in her green eyes: there, I took a chance, so see me safe like you swore. He nods and so does she. 

Outside, the Mexican desert awaits.