#even women got to do this!! less common but there are examples of women dueling lol

[guinevereslancelot]

obsessed with the concept of duels. for many many years there was a 100% legal way for two consenting adults to settle a dispute by trying to kill eachother. there was a fully legal way to just kill someone. also you were humiliated and called a pussy if someone challenged you to a duel and you said no

[alternislatronemhq]

Congrats, JESTER, you have been accepted to AL for the role of OC ORPHEUS HITCHENS (FC: Gabriel Marques). Eeep, wow, how exciting to have a truly reformed character join us here at AL, especially one who’s distantly related to the Blacks! Jester, I fell in love with Orpheus and all of his complexities and faults and determinations. You’ve built a beautiful character and placed him here wonderfully in this plot, and I’m excited to see you continue to build him! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home (once again), we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — jester age — 21, soon to be 22 pronouns — he/him timezone — est activity level — only reliably active afternoons & weekends

IC Overview

name — orpheus hitchens faceclaim — gabriel marques (model), naleye dolmans, miles mcmillan age — 25 gender — male sexuality — bisexual patronus — great grey shrike boggart — a coiling basilisk (representative of the lurking threat posed by the dark side and voldemort)

IC In Depth

personality traits —

+ courteous // while not raised in the wealthy, respected pureblooded family he liked to portray himself as belong to in his youth, orpheus still tried to emulate what he thought being a pureblood was. while he no longer quite aligns with the ideals of purity he used to admire, he retains the self-taught, overly formal mannerisms of his teen years.

+ quick-witted // with a honed intelligence and a natural skill for thinking on his feet, orpheus is not one to stay and ponder a decision needlessly ; this makes him particularly adept at dueling or high-action situations, but when needed he can sit still and think things through before acting.

+ confident // orpheus is proud of himself, his accomplishments and his talents.

- reactive // orpheus, for all his attempts at appearing level-headed and refined, has a hot temper and is very quick to lose it.

- conceited // hand-in-hand with his pride comes arrogance, an overinflated ego that’s rarely kept in check and is prone to pushing orpheus into a superiority complex when faced with wizards he deems “less accomplished.”

- abrasive // orpheus’ tendency towards both knee-jerk reactions and assuming superiority means he can be snappish and rude without fully thinking the consequences of his actions through.

character biography — 

short version

the grandson of the disgraced iola hitchens nee black, orpheus spent his hogwarts years scornful of his family’s past “involvement” with mixing with muggles and secretly sympathized with some of voldemort’s ideals. it wasn’t until later, when death eaters killed his half-blood mother, that it hammered home to orpheus that his black family blood wasn’t enough to protect him from the wrath of dangerous pureblood ideaology. upon graduating, he vowed to leave that part of his history behind him and strive to be a better man, training to become an auror. when whispers started to spread of darkness rising again, he threw himself further into becoming a better auror, hoping to protect the future generation from the follies he himself was once enchanted by.

in depth

EARLY YEARS Iola Black, after eloping with muggle Bob Hitchens, had one daughter, one Cassandra Hitchens. Cassandra Hitchens followed her mother’s set example and had one son out of wedlock: Orpheus Hitchens, descendant of a pureblood family that had fallen very, very far from the tree. Orpheus was raised near-muggle as far as wizards go, but was still taught from a young age about magic. This had the opposite effect as to what was intended, and instead of feeling like he belonged to both the wizarding and muggle worlds, Orpheus felt like a wizard being forced to live like a muggle.

This resentment was further compounded when he began attending Hogwarts, and got sorted into Ravenclaw. While eager to finally be a part of the wizarding world, as he felt he belonged, learning of his full family history made him even more frustrated with what he’d been denied his whole life. He felt alienated from his housemates, feeling himself above muggle-and-halfborns, but not quite on equal footing with the purebloods. He overcompensated for it, throwing himself viciously into studies to the point where his health suffered. Throughout his life, he’d felt denied something he deserved, and now that he had access to Hogwarts’ library he wanted to claim what was his by birthright. 

When he heard Voldemort’s message, the older students’ whispers of a message about reclaiming what wizarding society was owed, of blood purity and power granted to those who deserved it … it was the type of thing that resounded with dissatisfied folks like Orpheus, and he attached to the idea like it was a lifeline. He wanted to be told he was special, that he was someone who deserved good things. 

He held his quiet support of the Death Eater ideals for years, but wasn’t in the right social circles to ever reach out, ever join properly. He was locked out by his blood and by the color lining his robes, and many times he lamented not being a Slytherin. A proper Black would have been in Slytherin, but he was a damned Hitchens and never had a chance of joining Voldemort no matter what his teenaged mind convinced him. He tried, of course, but the ones already deep enough to bring him in weren’t interested in the bright-eyed mudblood who thought he could fit in with them.

But he tried, oh, he tried. He practiced every bit of manners a proper pureblood would have, sat up late nights studying ancient bloodlines and histories and fashion. He got everything he could that he thought would make him fit in, be accepted among the people he thought it was worth something to be accepted by. What he couldn’t buy he bribed others for and what he couldn’t afford through even bribery he stole. He saw no shortage of detentions for his petty misbehavior, but few ever saw his actions as anything more than juvenile delinquency. 

He was only confronted with the ugly truth of the real situation at the end of his fifth year, when his mother was brutally murdered by Death Eaters mere hours before he arrived home. The situation couldn’t have stared him more brutally in the face than it did in that moment, and he was forced to accept that no matter what clothes he wore or how he talked … he was scum to these people. He was worth less than the dirt under their boots for his blood, and there was nothing he could do about it. He buried his mother and lived alone in that house until the muggle family, two women who already had three children to care for of their own, took notice and started visiting, often bringing him meals and new books. 

Their care for him, a stranger, made the grief burn even worse. He had been so drawn in by pretty words and ideas of respect and grandeur he had never even regarded his ideals would be the type to get these kind people killed. 

He returned back to the books about old bloodlines, and decided to make a change.  REALIZING HE WAS AN IDIOT Orpheus returned to Hogwarts quieter, more aware, and more angry. For the first few months he didn’t utter a word, just sat and watched and learned. And when he was done learning, there were no shortage of fights in the halls, angry whispered arguments in classes and more than one instance of rather brutal duels in broad daylight. Most teachers chalked this up to his mothers’ passing, but nearly every instance was incited by another student suggesting they supported the Dark Lord’s actions, or simply using the word ‘mudblood’. He was still a child, but so were the students in whom he saw the face of evil leering back at him. It was a miracle he didn’t get expelled, and saw even more detentions than he had before. But his grades were kept up, and he learned to be sneakier, even if still motivated nearly entirely by hollow revenge. 

He was luckier than he knew, to avoid most of the losses of the war entirely, but it wasn’t a fortune he was pleased with. Even after graduating, still angry, still resenting the man he could have been, he wanted to fight. And Alastor Moody gave him a way to fight. He finished his Auror training before the deaths of Augusta Longbottom and Lord Voldemort, but not by much. He finally got his fight at the tail end of the war, making sure justice came to the Death Eaters he felt betrayed by.

Sometimes, he wondered if his anger was because they hadn’t wanted him. But it made no difference when he was seeing the monsters tossed into Azkaban to rot. 

He was still a bit too like them, even now. Talked the right way, acted as stuck-up as any, carried himself with an air of dignity that others would call a big head. But he was vicious in battles and eager to prove himself, and no one ever voiced their suspicions to his face.

The war ended, and people talked of peace. Orpheus thought of old books full of bloodlines and dark magic and curses that made his hair stand on end, and thought this wouldn’t be the end of it.

MODERN DAY The peace did, in fact, calm Orpheus’ anger; leaving him with a scorching temper that, at least, sat as cooled coals rather than an inferno most of the time. He still had nowhere as much respect as other Aurors he worked with, but he did his job well enough, and his colleagues grew used to how absolutely insufferable he could be. It was nowhere near the grandeur he’d once longed for, but he no longer wanted vague, unattainable things like “being a fancy and respected member of the most Ancient and Noble house of Black”. It was silly, really. He’d finally grown content with being Orpheus Hitchens, and the years had both steadied and honed his wand hand for the war he was certain was to come.

He was sure of it. While Orpheus’ colleagues would generally describe him as “annoyingly verbose” and “kind of an arse”, he had taught himself more than just stuffy manners late at night in the Ravenclaw common room. He watched, and listened, and devoured every book he could get his hands on, and came to know many undeniable facts about the world. Firstly, that wizards were absolutely bullheaded fools about many things, blood status included. Secondly, that Alastor Moody is a terrifying force of nature and constant vigilance was less about keeping an eye out for dark wizards and more worrying your attention would slip and your boss would throw his peg leg at you for it. 

And thirdly, that Voldemort’s followers were somewhere out there, like a spilled jar of oil coating the floor that you don’t notice until someone drops a match. Orpheus wasn’t sure who would drop the match, but Voldemort had struck it. So he remained insufferably verbose, with a war brewing behind his teeth and a desire to prove himself still gripping his arm, and swore to himself that this time would be different.

plot ideas —

moody // moody absolutely, certainly has heard rumors that one of his younger aurors once held voldemort’s ideals - there’s certainly room for doubt as to young hitchens’ loyalties, and there’s no room for those doubts in the coming war.

hogwarts class of ‘78 (lily, james, remus, sirius, etc.) // orpheus would have been a year or two behind them all, and was a ravenclaw, but he would be loosely familiar with them enough to potentially reach out once news reaches his ears.

sirius black // orpheus knows it’s unfair to resent sirius for something done a hundred years ago. does he hold a grudge against the black family anyways? only a little. still, he may eventually get over it and reach out to his distant cousin over their shared banishment from the family tree (even if sirius undoubtedly has little idea he even exists)

general // orpheus is a young auror who has dedicated himself to keeping voldemort from rising again, even if he has no idea how that would even come to be. while he may not be immediately accepted into the order of the phoenix’s inner ranks, he’s got a good wand hand and is eager to prove himself ; even with the smallest of tasks, he’s happy to help anyone who can tolerate his grating personality and wants to strike back against the dark side.

[eorzean-tale]

Prompt #16 Bond

This is part 2 of my lore series, where I try and analyze some of the tidbits of info we got from Encyclopaedia Eorzea, volume II. This series only focuses on the Seeker of the Sun M-tribe lore, particularly four of its characters that were highlighted in the book and shared in the BRPN Discord. For this part, I’m going to look at the bond between a nunh and his tribe.There will be spoilers from the lorebook below the cut, so be warned.

Part 2 M’rahz Nunh

From Encyclopaedia Eorzea, volume II:

“There was a time when I was the weakest of the males in the M Tribe. It wasn’t easy, but through rigorous training, I eventually grew to become the man you see before you.” M’rahz was only three and twenty when he bested his predecessor in a duel and replaced him as nunh, a breeding male. While that was an impressive feat in its own right, the Seeker of the Sun would be the first to acknowledge that the harder part was still to come. In the early days, it seemed as though he could please none of the womenfolk, but pain proved an effective teacher and he quickly honed his sensitivity to the needs of others. Over the next twenty-seven years, he has protected his people as both a husband and a father. A challenging task at the best of times, it was only made more difficult when the Empire invaded two decades ago. With their hunting grounds shrinking and food growing scarcer by the season, many hard decisions had to be made. And the hardest one of all was that which saw his dear friend and fellow nunh, M’aht, leave the village behind. Owing to their history, he harbors a fondness for M’zhet, M’aht’s spirited son.

Let’s talk about his quote first. It seems that Rahz refers refers to his own people as ‘the M Tribe’ and not the Marmot Tribe. The use of the word ‘tribe’ also suggests that they are the only group of Marmots out there. In RP, we often speak of septs, sects, pacts, or whatever else, to indicate that there isn’t just one group of that tribe and everyone can play their Seeker Miqo’te as they like, even if they share the same tribal letter. As this is not done here, one might wonder if all M Tribe Miqo’te can only be from this particular group.

I personally do not think that is the case, and that they used these terms to not confuse people. Not everyone might know that the M stands for the Marmot totem, and not everyone will realize that tribes might have split off into different groups at some point in their history. I would like to see more acknowledgement of these different groups of the same tribe at some point, but I suppose we should be happy about getting any kind of lore about Seekers at this point :P

Note that he also uses the terms ‘males’ and ‘man’, indicating that, yes, some Seekers will refer to men as males. It’s an easy term to pick up if you want to give your character that extra bit of ‘tribal flavour’.

Next: becoming nunh

They then focus on him beating his predecessor in a duel at the tender age of 23 and that that was a pretty impressive feat. So the weakest male managed to climb to the top of the combat ranks at the tender age of 23… That training must have been really rigorous indeed.

It makes me wonder how the runt became the master in such a relatively short amount of time, and if the other tia didn’t train just as hard. It doesn’t seem to be normal to be able to defeat a nunh so early on, as they make a point out of calling it an impressive feat. I suppose they want to show how hard he had to work for it, but personally I wouldn’t have minded it if they had made him a little older. 

It’s followed up by this quote:

In the early days, it seemed as though he could please none of the womenfolk, but pain proved an effective teacher and he quickly honed his sensitivity to the needs of others.

Uh, pain? As in.. physical? Did they beat him up? Or did he hurt a lot of the women by just being an insensitive dick? Or did they hurt him? While I like that they emphasize the need for a nunh to be sensitive to the needs of others with this quote, it has some weird implications when you think about it more. Mostly, that apparently the tia of the Marmot tribe don’t receive any sort of training on what is expected of you once you do become nunh. They only focus on training to defeat the current nunh, and supposedly learn the duties that come with it after that. So what happens when a nunh doesn’t learn? It just seems odder and odder to me, the longer I think about it. Like having an archery competition to determine the best huntress of your tribe, and once someone wins, they’ll go on their first actual hunt. The M Tribe could have used a ‘Nunh for dummies’ book back in Rahz’s day.

Luckily for the M Tribe, Rahz learned well:

Over the next twenty-seven years, he has protected his people as both a husband and a father.

Personally, I hate the use of the word husband in this sentence. It’s very confusing as to what it means. I think they might mean in a general sense, as ‘husband to his people’ and not one woman like the term suggests to the average western reader, but that might just be wishful thinking on my part, as that is the better out of two unpleasant options for me. Let me explain.

Husband to one (or multiple) women

If he is literally married to one woman of his tribe, or even several, it would mean he values this person above the others. Even if the marriage is political or symbolic, it means this woman is favoured by this nunh for whatever reason. This level of favouritism might be very difficult in a culture where he literally has to father all the children of the tribe and raises a lot of questions:

Does he live with his wife, or wives? 

If not, what is the point of the bonding?

Does that mean he favours his children by this woman?

Do other huntresses or his other children never get jealous?

Of course they would, so how do they deal with that?

Why specifically the term husband, and not something a bit less city-folk-like such as mate for example?

Can tia get married as well? 

Can women to other women? 

You have to keep in mind that female Miqo’te vastly outnumber the males, so what then happens to the women who are, for lack of a better term, leftover and not inclined towards other women?

Who is his wife, or wives?

What is the ceremony like?

So many questions, and we probably won’t get any answers from SE, so we have to decide for our own tribes. I just hope people do ask themselves these questions, when they next write love-stories for their nunh characters.

What I truly despise about this option though, is that his wife, or wives, aren’t named. It reminds me of DBZ or old Disney, where the spouses were often so ‘background’ that they weren’t even given a name. The huntresses deserve their spotlight as well, dammit :P

Husband to the tribe

I like this option better, but once I started writing down why, I realized it has its fair share of flaws as well. If he is a husband to the tribe, how does that work when he’s defeated by a tia? Is defeating and becoming nunh quite literally tearing a family apart and inserting yourself into it? If that’s the case, then I understand why he had trouble pleasing the women of his tribe at first, as that sounds rather traumatic.

For me, personally, it’s still the better option though. I hope they meant he does husband-like duties, just like he does fatherly duties as mentioned in the same sentence, without him literally being someone's husband. It also makes me wonder what counts as husband-like in Japan, and I even tried to look up if ‘husband’ could mean different things in Japanese, depending on context. The only thing I could find, is that the most common character for husband in Japanese is the same as ‘owner’, or ‘master’. Yikes.

Anyway, enough about this one word, as this wall of text is getting quite long as it is. It’s just interesting to speculate about. The rest of the description talks about difficulties stemming from the invasion of the Empire 20 years ago, with hunting grounds shrinking because of it. I’ll talk about Aht and Zhet in their own posts, so that’s it for me, for now.

If you made it all the way down here, then thank you for reading! If you have your own ideas and speculations about this bit of lore, let me know in the comments below. I’m always eager to discuss people’s interpretations.

[highbuttonsports]

Toronto Blue Jays’ Joe Carter 1993 toronto blue jays world series champions - Bing images

Our Team

Take me out to the ball game. Take me out with the crowd. Buy me some…well maybe not this season (hopefully though). For some of us, snow is still on the ground and the cool air of winter is still biting our breathe. However, that doesn’t mean baseball isn’t still warming our hearts and our minds. A lot of Jays fans can easily relate to this sentiment, especially those of us that reside north of the border. As “Canada’s team”, there is a strong sense of pride associated with touting that moniker. Toronto is the only franchise in the MLB that has the distinction of being their country of residence’s only one. It really fosters an us against them mentality. It’s a David vs. Goliath thing. A little brother vs. big brother thing. A Superman vs. Batman thing. You get the point.

There’s a long-standing history of the Canada vs. U.S. rivalry rooted in sport. Every December/January brings about the World Junior Championships for hockey with each country perennially battling for the gold medal (the U.S. took it home this past tournament). International women’s hockey has predominantly been a Canada/U.S. fight for top spot since it’s inception. As well, the Olympics has provided many instances of our countries’ amazing rivalry. There was Canadian track star Donovan Bailey’s beating of American Dennis Mitchell in the 100m race at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta (in world record time no less). More recently, Canadian ice dance darlings Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue “got smoked” (Scott’s words) by U.S. rivals Meryl Davis and Charlie White at the 2014 games in Sochi. Then there is perhaps the best non-baseball example of this good-natured battle in the 2019 NBA Championship by the Toronto Raptors. That was the first NBA title to leave American soil and that wound is still fresh. In fact, many talking heads south of the border still refuse to give the Raps any credit for that win. The prefer to focus on all of Golden State’s excuses (classic sore loser behaviour). All of these are just a sample of the friendly yet heated rivalry that exists between our great nations.

When it comes to baseball that is no different. I am of a certain age to vividly remember everything about the Toronto Blue Jays’ historic rise to the top of the baseball world in 1992. It was the first time the World Series had been played outside of the U.S. in the history of the league. This is America’s past time we are talking about after all, so having a team from Canada trying to take that from them made it about more than just baseball. It’s not as if the Jays came out of nowhere though. They had won the American League Eastern Division title for the second consecutive season and third time in four years coming into the series. So, it was no fluke they were there threatening to take the title out of the U.S.A. for the first time ever. As well, Atlanta Braves brought that annoying swagger with them having lost in the World Series the previous year. They were hungry, a little cocky, and the favourites. After all, what were these guys playing out of a hockey country doing thinking they could be champions of the baseball world? Of course, this story could not be written without mentioning the Game 2 fiasco involving the Canadian flag. Before the game started, during the performance of the National Anthems of the United States and Canada, the U.S. Marine Corps Color Guard accidentally flew the flag of Canada upside down. It was an accident and the Marines went out of their way to apologize while insisting they were honoured to carry it ahead of game 3. That doesn’t mean it didn’t add some extra vitriol to an already contentious battle between the two countries. It perhaps may have even sparked the Jays, as after losing game 1 they went on to win games 2,3, and 4 to take a commanding 3-1 series lead. Atlanta wasn’t going to just lay down though as they fought back in game 5 winning convincingly 7-2. This set up a dramatic game 6 back in Atlanta in front of 51,000+ chanting and chopping Braves fans. If you were a Jays fan back then like me that brutal Atlanta tradition was like nails on a chalk board. Game 6 was a back-and-forth tight pitching duel with the Braves tying the game up in the bottom of the 9th to stave off elimination. After both teams failed to score in the 10th, the Jays jumped out to a 4-2 lead on a Dave Winfield double plating 2 runners. That was the legendary Winfield's first career World Series extra-base hit, and at 41 he was the oldest player in baseball history to record one in the World Series. Atlanta caught a break in the bottom of the inning on a fortunate mid hop bounce to short, turning a sure double play into a 1st and 3rd with nobody out situation. After a sac bunt made it 2nd and 3rd with 1 out, a forced play at 1st on a ground ball scored a run reducing the Jays lead to 1. It was that moment that Atlanta announced the speedy Otis Nixon as a pinch hitter. He was one of the fastest players in the league and a fantastic bunter. Knowing this, Toronto countered with bringing in a right-handed pitcher. It is much easier for a righty to field of bunt towards 1st base since they fall off the mound naturally in that direction. Even though a bunt is not very common with a runner at 3rd and 2 out, with Nixon at the plate it was a big possibility. That’s exactly what happened too. Otis bunted, Timlin fielded the ball perfectly, and dished it to Carter at 1st for the final out. That secured the 1st World Series title in Blue Jays franchise history as well as the 1st title to leave the USA.

If that didn’t rile up American baseball aficionados enough, they definitely didn’t get any happier the following year. 1993 brought the Blue Jays back to the World Series to defend their title against the Philadelphia Phillies. This time Toronto meant business and they were the favourites. It was up to Philly to unseat the champs, but the Jays weren’t having any of that notion. They won game 1 of this go around to put themselves in the driver’s seat. The Phillies tied the series at 1-1 by winning game 2, but that was as close as they would get going forward. Even though they fought back with a shut out in game 5 to force another game, it was the battle tested Jays who finished the series off in epic fashion in game 6. This moment is engrained in all Canadians, not just baseball fans. As iconic as the Golden goal which says a lot for a bunch a hockey loving hosers. Just thinking about it again gives me goose bumps. Our boys were down 6-5 going into the bottom of the 9th with feared closer Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams coming into the game to try and push it to a deciding game 7. To say it started out terribly for him is an understatement. He walked future hall of famer (and still holder of the record for most stolen bases all time) Rickey Henderson to begin the inning. That put the heat on him to get the ball to the plate as quick as possible. In order to do that, Mitch used the slide step method. He had never used that move before in his career, but with the uber dangerous Henderson at first, he couldn’t risk giving up a stolen base. That caused him to be out of sync in his delivery and resulted in diminished velocity and control. After the next batter flew out, another future hall of famer in Paul Molitor singled to put runners on 1st and 2nd with 1 out and Joe Carter coming to the dish. Queue the music everyone! That’s when Joe hooked a 2-2 pitch over the left corner wall for a back-to-back World Series winning 3-run homerun and forever immortalizing himself in baseball lore.

It doesn’t get much sweeter than that in sport. What makes those moments even bigger is the connotations of national pride and excellence. It’s no secret that the U.S. has a great reputation of success when it comes to sport. The country houses 4 of the 5 highest grossing sports leagues in the world while having a stranglehold on the media coverage. They are usually the favourites and have the hardware to back that up. That’s why whenever us simple snow-covered folks (up here North of the world’s longest unprotected border) have a chance to wave our flag or sing our Anthem in victory, we do it proudly and loudly. It’s what we hope to be doing later this fall when the 2021 Jays take the field with the highest hopes they have had in years. Not since a certain bat flip 6 years ago perhaps. But we don’t need to go there…do we?

By: Jaymee Kitchenham

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 69-74

In which Evi Kholin still deserves better but at least Dailnar’s a smidge more worthy than last time, I delight in how close Kaladin and Adolin have become, and Shallan and her mental state deteriorate further and worry me even more.

Also, Azure.

Chapter Sixty-Nine – Free Meal, No Strings

Considering what we’re getting from the Elsecaller here, apparently Urithiru has the ability to affect not only the general climate either in or around the tower proper, but also the “pressure” which I assume means air pressure, since we know that that’s what’s manipulated by adhesion. Which. Interesting. If the tower really is located up at an altitude where breathing would become difficult, I can definitely see why they’d need that ability there, especially when Oathgating directly from sea-level Thaylen City up to Urithiru or vice versa. (what is acclimation, much?)

Ooo, so the Voidspren can sense Surges then, and not just fabrial use? It’s just that Shallan’s Illumination Surge is somehow sneakier than – at the very least – Gravitation. And they’re definitely drawn to the Surges and not the mere presence of stormlight (nobody could keep their spheres infused otherwise).

Gotta admit, while those flying-Fused clothes are hardly practical, they do have a fantastically dramatic style.

Kaladin is not happy over the lighteyes throwing their end-of-the-world parties while Rome Kholinar burns, understandably so. It’s dumb, but rich people.

“Please tell me that you didn’t bring us to live with your tailor because you wanted a new wardrobe.” Kaladin, even you have to admit that he likely looks stunning (and not just because it fits tightly through the chest). Powder blue over the dark bronze of his skin, gold embroidery accentuating the glint of his hair? Seriously. The man knows how to dress. Well. Kaladin might not admit that (to himself, aloud, at all, whatever) but these two have obviously settled into a comfortable level of teasing each other, and it’s fantastic. (Also, comfort on the level that Adolin is calling him Kal, and Kaladin hasn’t said or even had a thought of telling him not to. None of the bridgemen even do that, not after Moash left.)

So much physical contact from Adolin this chapter, dang. Ahhh, but he made friends with Skar and Drehy after the Battle of Narak! It does remind me of the time way back (I think in the first book?) when Dalinar was grumbling about(?)/noting him being companionable with the lower-ranking Kholin officers and rank-and-file soldiers. Those three at a tavern though, oh man, I may have to write fic about that.

OOP, AND JUST AS I BRING THAT UP-

Oh, Kaladin. Depression fucking sucks, and while I'm so glad you've been having a lot of good days, stormlight can't wipe that away like it can with scars.

Adolin notices! And drops back to check on you! Ahhhh, honestly, with how you two are getting to know each other well, I feel like you'd start picking up on each others' tells often and come to help in what ways you can, and I'm so glad to actually see that happening.

PUNCHY GUYS, I'M  DY I N G

“talk like a girl” is definitely a compliment when it's sort of the default cultural assumption that women are more intelligent (and I'd bet good money that Adolin's been the butt of wordplay jokes enough when they knew he needed a moment to Logic It Out in his head, but in this instance Kaladin gives him that moment, and doesn't scoff or demean. You two have come so far.)

Please become sparring buddies, I beg you Sanderson. Kaladin's got powers but Adolin's better with technical skill; it would be a great matchup for them to improve.

Kaladin: [just goes out for a moment to patrol around the block] [immediately gets stopped by a squad from the Wall Guard] ….you have some strange brand of luck, Kal. At least it still counts as getting information on the Wall Guard like your part of this mission tonight is?

Storms, but that shash brand is persistent.

Chapter Seventy – Highmarshal Azure

AIGHT WE MIGHT FINALLY FIND OUT WHO THIS AZURE PERSON IS AND WHETHER THEY'RE A NALTHIAN

“the Sibling” again. What on Roshar is that referring to? And the state of the Radiants can affect whatever-it-is somehow, or at least is perceived to maybe have an effect?

At long last, Kaladin finds somewhere in this eerily-shadowed city that he can relax. Alas, it doesn't have the true comfort that is Rock's cooking.

These soldiers seem like they're probably a ragtag bunch of misfits as well, anyone who had decent training cobbled together to help man the walls when the Fused and Parshmen started attacking, adding people to their ranks as refugees trailed in. Beggars can't be choosers, and Kholinar is besieged. Still, their comportment does speak well of Azure.

….[squints] Either the Guard has a way in and out of the city that you're not telling anyone, or you have some way of creating food (that you're also not telling). I'm not getting a strong vibe as to which it may be.

All of them are lighteyed? Is it the entire Wall Guard or just these two platoons? That's… well, where's all the darkeyed soldiers?

Kaladin is definitely suspecting Azure to be a Radiant, and that's sounding more and more like a possibility, but that name still niggles at the back of my mind; I'm keeping my money on Azure being a Nalthian, even despite the Shardblade. A foreigner, who just happened along by and showed enough military ability and savvy to organize the soldiers and hold the gates? That's fishy.

AND AZURE'S A LADY. EXCELLENT.

Average to just-under-average height for an Alethi woman. That's still hella tall for just about anyone else. Orange eyes though? That's odd – we've seen shades of yellow all over, but orange… I don't think so. And a basket-hilted sword of all things – screw whether it's the Shardblade or not, is it a saber, a rapier?

Her soldiers still love her, no matter how much of Vorin society would be outright scandalized (and probably up in arms) over a woman being highmarshal.

If Azure is a worldhopper, she's been here long enough to get a handle on not only Vorin curses, but the political and military situation of the past few years – enough to ping damn close to Kaladin's actual backstory, which he now realizes was an active effort on Sadeas and Amaram's part (nothing personal, and there are bound to be many more who were affected in much the same way he was in those border skirmishes). That leans the possibility a little more towards native-Rosharan, but still doesn't discount other possibilities.

Azure makes a hell of a plea to one's honor and common sensibility.

Oh Kaladin. They have; the Parshmen that you so hoped would survive have been pulled into what you never wanted for them.

Chapter Seventy-One – A Sign of Humanity

ANOTHER FLASHBACK ANOTHER FLASHB-

And it's set very, very soon after the last flashback chapter we got – not immediately as the timeline goes, but probably only a few weeks, maybe even as much as a month.

Evi is crying and once again I feel the great need to punch Dalinar. YOU SHOULD BE FEELING CRUSHED, YOU COMPLETE ASS. Look at what your argument did! Look at how heartbroken and withdrawn she's become, trying even harder yet even more painfully than before!

Dalinar is so detached that he can hardly believe that their argument 'bodes ill for their relationship', he can't even tell how bad it's already become when his wife breaks down in front of him! When he doesn't even go to see his own son, much less care about him! Ugh.

At least he's going to talk to her, and is cognizant enough to do it in what is essentially what little territory she has in all this army. Not quite a supplicant, but as close as he can get (and without that attitude, of course).

“I like it when you fight.” [winces] Dalinar, Dalinar that is the absolute wrong thing to say. She doesn't want to fight, it hurts her to fight, and you can't see it! Like she said last time, the Alethi take everything as a competition, but you have to remember that she's not, and she doesn't want this. At all.

The way that she describes the times when 'nothingness' flares in his eyes is oddly specific, and that can't be a coincidence. Branderson has something going on here, more than just Dalinar's own self, more than just the Thrill and his addiction to it.

His hand against her safehand. That should be a sign of utmost trust, and yet…

Are… are you actually going to try talking them down first, rather than attacking without giving them a chance to surrender? Also, this is the first time you've noted it, but even you feel like the 'hunger' of the Thrill is something external (but it still feels like it's different for you, more focused than it is for others)

You can't blame the Rifters for not trusting him. His reputation alone would merit such, not even counting what he did to them personally. But, Dalinar is trying to negotiate. Amazing.

Ooof. Tanalan really didn't understand what the rebellion could mean for his people and city.

A duel. This, despite the indifference/contempt he holds for dueling. But the Thrill – or whatever it is (something definitely focused on him specifically) does not want that to happen. ….this does not bode well.

Despite how good Tanalan's plan sounds, there is definitely something wrong here, some underlying current that says 'I have a bad feeling about this…' even beyond the fact that we already know that something terrible happened at the Rift.

I'm not sure Sadeas is the 'traitor' like they say. Despite the fact that he was a conniving, slimy Pus of Man that got an all-too-justified death, he was dedicated to the power of Alethkar. Whether at this point he believed that rested with Gavilar or with Tanalan's Rebellion, I'm actually putting my spheres on him being on Gavilar's side. Perhaps he's spurring this on, but Gavilar does want an example made, and it could very well further some secret plans of his that we don't know about.

This whole thing reeks of about to go to absolute shit

Chapter Seventy-Two – Rockfall

Another Stoneward recording, and an explanation for why none of the Edgedancers have recorded any of these gemstones (they're out actually Getting Shit Done). And apparently Urithiru once had a dedicated population of non-Radiants – servants and farmers and the like – which again makes sense since the tower needed to be self-sufficient.

A Shallan-Veil chapter this time, and they're on a mission. To an elaborate mansion, apparently – one that's still occupied. You have to admit, those former-waterfalls do sound like amazing sights, no matter how frivolous (and expensive) they were to create.

“Veil took a deep breath, then let Shallan bleed back into existence.” I don't like the wording of that. I really don't like the wording of that. Veil 'let'? 'Bleed back into existence?' Both the tone of authority in the first and the visceral nature of the second – as well as the implication that Shallan didn't exist while the Veil-personality is in control – are worrying.

In relation to the above: “...she was an inferior version, obviously. Just deal with her, take her place. It would feel right, wouldn't it?” D u d e. I'm not sure if some outside force is affecting Shallan (very possibly the Unmade in the palace), but that is beyond anything she's felt or thought before, and it's disturbing, especially if she unconsciously has Veil (and to a lesser degree, Radiant) start applying it to herself. It's good that she felt how wrong it was immediately and cut it off at the start.

Huh. Pulled into crisis here, she reverts to her true, core self.

DUDE. WHAT- WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE EVERSTORMING FUCK

SHALLAN

SHALLAN

...are. are you oka- that's not okay. That. That is not okay in any way shape or form you still have the bolt sticking out of your h e a d

(also, she deliberately shifted back to Veil just then, but absently noted that Veil was also an illusion)

So. Uh. How… how unkillable are Radiants with a decent supply of Stormlight, exactly? And what on Roshar is going to necessitate Plate on top of healing like that?

“You worry me sometimes.” Vathah, you don't even know the half of it.

Wit, please

Well, that's one way of making a scene, as well as not-so-subtly letting the Cult know that you have food, real food.

[sighs in frustration and continued worry about Shallan's separation of self. yet again.]

Chapter Seventy-Three – Telling Which Stories

A Lightweaver asking a serious question at the start of this chapter, which of course lead to more questions – first among them being: what protections did the tower have, and can they be reactivated?

YESGOOD ANOTHER KALADIN CHAPTER

I really love Beard and his obviously-fake stories. “You did not meet the Blackthorn.” Kaladin, standing right next to this guy: [somehow manages to keep a completely straight face]

Oh, and now you have to stab my heart again by mentioning Sah and the group of Parshmen you wanted to help save. Thanks bunches, Brandosando.

ADOLIN THE 'ROOSTING CHICKEN' I'M WH E E Z I N G

Shallan even made his and Drehy's illusions opposite heights or something like that this time omg (unless Drehy's taller now because Adolin's lounging but I like to think the former, because even the though of it is hilarious) Or does he mean that Drehy's several inches taller than he normally is. Either way-

Beard going on about 'the time he met the Blackthorn' when Adolin Kholin is right there and he's shit-talking his coat this is ama z i n g

Kaladin learning about the interactions of the low-ranked lighteyes though – I feel like just a few more steps, and he'll adopt these too. Knowing how they act and how they feel about the higher ranks, he can use that when he eventually gets to Social Revolution once Odium's dealt with, right?

This whole “fellow lighteyes” routine is hilarious and terribly embarrassing at the same time

Kaladin wanting to stand up for Adolin, be still my heart

Ahhh, so it's the Wall Guard that's supplying (all?) the food to the city with whatever their mysterious ways of obtaining it are that don't use Soulcasters?

Oh, great, at least some of the Cult practice self-flagellation in order to draw the altered painspren. Well that's lovely.

'Rock would have laughed [the beard] to shame and euthanized it with a razor and some soap.' HAH, now there's an image! Rock taking one look and carting off this airsick dolt for a trim and a lecture on proper Beard Maintenance.

!!! Now there's an interesting idea – I thought all the Honorblades save Jezrien's were in the keeping of the Shin, but maybe not…? Still, I thought the hilts of the honorblades were all way more elaborate than that, and no basket-hilts.

Kaladin always worries too much, it's who he is. That tidbit about the 'whispering voices' doesn't sound good, though; could be the Unmade, could be something to do with the Fused and Voidspren outside.

Bless Sanderson again, this time for continuing to write a good, believable agnostic in Kaladin

WHOOP, ACCIDENTALLY TAKING COMMAND. And by serious force of will managing not no keep it or shout out orders again.

“Keep your head, and I suspect you'll end up as a squadleader before long.” Help me I'm d y i ng

Chapter Seventy-Four – Swiftspren

Shallan is really cultivating her 'disturbance' as a Robin Hood-like figure to the point where they've given her a name, even a bit of a legend! It's a good one to have, in all, even when not considering that she needs it to get into the Cult. And since the Cult revere spren, being called as such gives them even more reason to notice her.

Ooof, correcting even Pattern when he doesn't refer to her as Veil when she has the illusion and personality up? That's… Shallan, dear, that's not a good sign. Listen to your spren, your soulbonded partner – remember the Truth of yourself.

Okay, that Swiftspren costume sounds really cool.

Ooooo, shit, those whispers are actually whispers, inaudible. The Unmade? Or even the echoes of Odium? Either way, it's not nothing, and certainly not benevolent.

“Was her mind so quickly corrupted?” ...an interesting question. On one side, the multiple personalities seem to make it easier to slide from one mask to another, even if there's 'only' the three, disregarding temporary ones. On the other, you use the word 'corruption' here, and I'm led to think of the 'corrupted spren', and of the people at the palace, so it could also likely be an effect of the Unmade that spreads its miasma over the city.

Ohhhh, and she's been Shallan ever since the voice whispered to her.

I wonder if that feeling of '[feigning] humanity' is how she feels about her branching personalities – if they feel like imitiations, or skin-puppets of what she wants to be, as opposed to distinct forces of their own in her head. (I don't know; I'm no therapist- This, Shallan, is obviously why Sanderson needed to consult heavily with specialists while he was writing, because this is… ooof. Shallan, I worry so much for you.)

'And Shallan… what did Shallan want again? Did it matter? Why bother worrying about her' SHALLAN, I AM WORRIED. VERY, VERY WORRIED.

And then we get this distinction of Veil '[layering] an illusion of Shallan and her havah over top of her trousers and shirt'. Not letting go of the illusion, but layering. Fuuuuuuuck….. Again, I'm sounding like a broken record but Shallan. Dear. This is not healthy.

And here's another one I worry over. Elhokar, it's… as much progress as you're making, this whole 'sitting alone drinking in the dark' doesn't bode well for you either.

Cultural Note: “[W]ishing and expecting is of the Passions. A heresy. A good Vorin worries about transforming themselves.”

...it's been a while since you drew someone Transformatively. And Elhokar… he needed this.

(he saw Cryptics in the mirror and lurking in shadows back on the Shattered Plains. maybe, with a little bit of help, he'll start shining garnet too…?)

[pxiao]

Could ya give your thoughts on Zexal as a whole and tell is it really bad. can you?

As a whole post? Seems a bit vicious even for me. But as a whole I’ll say it, z-xal fans look away because as this is my pure opinions as a Z-xal hater. My opinions could be wrong and they can annoy you but remember this is my opinion and just as you have a right to be annoyed, I have a right to my opinion. Don’t whine if you find something you don’t like on a Z-xal hate piece.  

The show is textbook at best and at worse just annoying with some horrible lessons. When the it first aired, I was willing to give it a try despite initially being put off by the character designs, if not just because I thought the fandom was being annoying. I got up to the cat girl episode till I just felt it was boring as all get out and stopped watching. It wasn’t a conspicuous decision either, I just didn’t feel like watching the next episode and I honestly forgot the show existed till Zexal 2 started and well by that point I didn’t give a damn. But I started to hear things about the show and well I honestly found it annoying and I watched it and I was right. Yoshida doesn’t seem skilled at creating characters, world building or even plotting. 

Plot wise, a lot of the logic is ignored for trauma and angst. And I know that in Yu-Gi-Oh!, logic isn’t exactly common anyway but you still need some logic in people’s actions or there really isn’t any point in watching a show. If you watch the Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged series, LittleKuriboh is doing a good job of pointing out the flaws of the Orichalcos season written by Yoshida. Like Atem’s duel against Rafael was started by Atem deciding to answer his challenge for rescue Professor Arthur … who was released for no reason before Atem even dueled Rafael and for no real reason either. Zexal is the same, a lot of episodes don’t do anything to advance the story, characters or even the world. It’s just duel of the week episodes which rarely have any effect on the world at all. Zexal’s story is generally duels of the week, some plot, more duels of the week and then final battle. There isn’t any rising action, it’s just exposition and then overdrawn climax. His attempts at “foreshadowing” are laughable. They don’t hint, they spell it out to the point we know what’s going to happen 99% percent of the the time. And lets face it, people like to watch shows that have some surprise as otherwise the show becomes a checklist and that was what Zexal felt like at times. It was less of a show and more of Yoshida’s checklist of the tropes that Yu-Gi-Oh! has done. A major plothole I found in the Barian onslaught was Shark’s attitude throughout the arc. Why did he go straight into war mode if he “knew Yuma’s feelings”. Yuma who spent the arc freaking out at the death and war that was going on, if Shark actually knew Yuma, he should know that a war is the last thing Yuma would ever want. But he spends the arc angsts over how he has to betray his friends. Why couldn’t he TALK to Yuma, while Astral is iffy, he should know how much of an influence that Yuma has on the alien and thus maybe a deal can be made. And if it couldn’t be, he could have at least tried before he lead a war that lead to his “friends” dying like a REAL ruler. 

World building, ha. He doesn’t build worlds, he builds a blank slate that the characters “live” at. Heartland has no personality at all, despite being the city of the future there was nothing unique about it. Astral world and Barian worlds are just factions at war with that represent the concepts of order and chaos and that’s from the show TELLING US. We only see the Astral world dying and nothing about it’s people, the Barian world is just not shown at all except for some red rocks. If I had to compared Astral world and Barian world to say Arc-V’s worlds, it’s depressing. Arc-V has a bit of Chaos vs Order in the form of Academia and the Resistance and the difference in writing quality is depressing. Academia would is order and we get a taste of how messed up their ideological is from Sora, Serena and Edo. We see how the public openly supports their ideas, the children believe the lies that they’re making a better war and when they’re in danger they freak out as they thought of it as a game. Hell we see how they take their ideology to the extreme in the BB arc when Sanders and the students beg for Sanders to be carded as it follows their ideals. The resistance is chaos, as Shun states they had trouble creating a defense in time and it shows. The flashbacks show duelists not in any uniform, just attacking without any formation or plan, their bases are just tents huddled together and the Resistance didn’t even have a main base, it was different branches and by the time we see it, it’s all but dead. Maiami is defined by how free the setting is, there are a LARGE variety of dueling schools from You Show, Gongenzaka Dojo, LDS, the many different schools Yuya saw and Ryozanpaku. Each having a variety of philosophies and how the public acted show they had a healthy mix of positive, loving Entertainment duels, and negative traits, their bullying of Yuya in the past. 

His characters are the worst, they aren’t really characters, just personality traits put together in the hopes of being a working personality. Most of the time, they’re just 2D cutouts. Don Thousand is a perfect example. In a story, the most important characters are the protagonist and the main enemy of the series as they shape what the show is. The worst thing you can do when making a main villain is making them easily replaceable. In the manga for Z-xal which was pretty similar to the anime Don was replaced while the story was going on because the artist didn’t like him and Yoshida EASILY replaced Don Thousand. That just proves that Don Thousand didn’t have a personality if he could be replaced by another villain so easily. In comparison, you can’t replace Zarc or Leo, they have shaped Arc-V plot and setting that if you take them out, the plot will change. He generally makes his protagonists overally perfect like what he did to Yusei in season 2 of 5D’s. Yuma is a horrible attempt to fix this, he had flaws for sure, but instead of Yuma growing, Yoshida made the show bend over backwards to make a flaw a virtue instead. The infuriating part is the show actually did a good job of showing his flaw but then everyone even the people that called out him earlier are telling to not change. You don’t make good characters that way, you destroy your show. Yoshida doesn’t do enough to build up the relationships that are supposed to form the backbone of the show and it feels hollow. A direct example is Yuya and Yuzu relationship vs Yuma and Kotori’s relationship. The couples are both childhood friends but the difference between their bonds is clear as day. Kotori is a side thought to Yuma at best and we never get an explanation of why Kotori and supposedly Yuma like each other. Their relationship development is Kotori screaming for Yuma and her getting jealous over him. Yuya and Yuzu? The first few episodes show how they understand each other the most and when something is up with one of them, they’re the first to realize it. Despite being separated for most of the show, Yuya and Yuzu continuously show support and love for each other while Yuma and Kotori barely interact despite being next to each other for the majority of the show. Arc-V shows plenty of times when Yuya puts her safety above everything and that includes his own ideals. Yuzu also puts Yuya’s safety over her own and her speeches are the only thing to reach him as the Zarc vs Ray/Reira duel showed. Fan reaction proves this, Yuya and Yuzu is one of the most popular ships in their fandom while Yuma and Kotori is hardly liked at all. And how he writes girls … Look Yu-Gi-Oh! isn’t going to win awards on how to write women unless you include Season 1 of Arc-V. But Yoshida is the worst at them, nearly every women he writes is obsessed over romance and plays little to no part in the story. Rio appeared as an independent girl that didn’t want to seen as part of Shark. And she became just that, she never made her own decisions ever and everything that came out of her mouth was about Shark and that’s it. She became his angst magnet. And based on how Aoi was written, I doubt he’s changed in Vr–ns.

Next I don’t think Yoshida understands the idea of a card game show. While card game shows are generally shonen series, they don’t have the same rules as a general shonen series. An enemy having a broken power in a regular shonen is accepted because the point of shonen is to make things unfair for the protagonist so the audience can feel something when they overcome it. That doesn’t work with card games, there has to be a SENSE of balance as card games are meant to be a game first and foremost. Otherwise the enemy comes across as overpowered to the point of ridiculousness. Don Thousand was overpowered to the point I was rolling my eye when he was literally breaking the rules of the game. From easily causing 50,000 points of damage, to summoning monsters with 10,000 and later 100,000 attack points. Don didn’t feel powerful, he felt like the writers were trying too hard to make him dangerous and instead came off as annoying.  

But the worst part of this is how Yoshida never changes. Everything that he works on has a basic plot and character types and he never varies. His writing has the same ideas in the seasons he writes. And I’ve seen how some people defend him on this because of his writing style. I strongly disagree, authors can have similar themes and ideas but they should never make a series the exact same. Kasumi Ono was the director for 5d’s and Arc-V while there are similarities in themes and character points, it’s impossible to say they’re alike at all. Or the writer for Type-Moon, compared Fate/Stay Night and Fate/Extra. They take the same concept and play with it so the story is different.  Authors don’t have to make everything original but the problem is Yoshida rarely changes the details at all.  

[mermaidsirennikita]

Book Roundup -- April 2017

I completed by challenge of reading 50 books in 2017.... today.  Admittedly this is usually a pretty low bar for me, but I don’t wanna go any higher than 50 just in case I suddenly get super fucking busy or my speed-reading powers deactivate.

Anyway.  Most of the books I read this month were honestly mediocre to poor, but I did discover two books towards the end of the month ( “Feast of Sorrow” and “Crazy Rich Asians”) that not only introduced me to new authors but pretty much thrilled me.

So, without further ado:

The Night Mark by Tiffany Reisz.  3/5.  Still mourning the death of her first husband, Faye ends up divorcing the man she married for convenience and heading to coastal South Carolina in an attempt to resume her former career as a photographer.  After learning the local legend of a lighthouse keeper’s ill-fated daughter in the 1920s, she accidentally ends up in the water--and wakes up in the body of Faith Morgan, said ill-fated 1920s girl.  This book is definitely a romance novel, and it’s a lot of fun.  As with any romance novel, there are some random choices that are kind of done, and the plot is somewhat convoluted, and the time travel aspects of the plot don’t always make sense....  But it was fluffy.  It made me happy.  It made me homesick, for that matter.  If you’re looking for a quick, somewhat mindless read with some nice sexual tension-filled scenes, go for it.  (If anything, I feel like this would have been improved with a few more sex scenes.  To be honest.)  It’s note quite peak trashy time travel romance novel a la Jude Deveraux’s Knight In Shining Armor, but it’s good.

Love for Sale: A World History of Prostitution by Nils Johan Ringdal.  4/5.  A non-fiction history of prostitution spanning from ancient myths to the present day.  The book does a good job of covering the East and West--though more attention is paid to Europe than anywhere else, Asia gets a good amount of attention.  At certain points, it does get a bit dry.  But it does the job, and is very interesting and informative.

Alex, Approximately by Jenn Bennett.  4/5.  In this YA contemporary, Bailey moves to California, not telling her Californian longtime online penpal, Alex, that she’s done so.  (She has confrontation problems.)  Upon beginning a museum job, she falls into a love-hate tension-filled relationship with security guard Porter, not realizing that he--of course--is Alex.  This is pitched as a modern-day You’ve Got Mail, so I don’t think that’s a spoiler.  Honestly, I was so pleasantly surprised by this book.  I was beginning to think that YA contemporaries just weren’t for me anymore, and something about the chemistry and characters in “Alex, Approximately” just got me.  Certain dramatic backstories were a bit much, but ultimately the chemistry between Bailey and Porter sold this book for me. They felt like actual teenagers who were actually into each other, and lately I feel like the YA I’ve been reading is too sugary to accurately portray that.  Overall, this is a definite summer/spring rec from me.

Marriage Most Scandalous by Johanna Lindsey.  2/5.  This was a pretty typical historical romance bodice ripper, about this dude who killed his best friend by accident in a duel years back?  And is now a sort of mercenary detective type?  So years after said accidental murder, his father’s ward comes a-knockin’, all grown up and such, and she thinks his dad is being targeted by someone evil.  Of course they have to pretend to be married to figure out what’s afoot, and you can take it from there.  I don’t think I like Regency bodice rippers as much as I do like... Viking romances, or Highlander stories.  I feel like bodice rippers should be set in “rougher” times so the extreme fuckery going on is easier to dismiss as part of the fantasy.  Plus, idk, some viking dude capturing the self-insert heroine and teaching her the ways of erotic love is just sexier to me than a dude named Sebastian having a secret identity as the Raven.  I never said I wasn’t problematic.

Literally by Lucy Keating.  1/5.  Annabelle is in the midst of upheaval in personal life when she meets the perfect boy, Will--and finds out that she’s actually the main character in a story by the author Lucy Keating.  K.  This could have been good, but it’s pretty much ruined as soon as Lucy Keating introduces herself.  She’s referred to as Lucy Keating for the whole book; Annabelle thinks about how beautiful she is and her cute clothes; she’s all ambiguous and strange and self-adoring.  This was one of the most uncomfortable, awkward books I’ve ever read.

The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli.  3/5.  This YA contemporary is about Molly, a girl whose insecurity about her weight--and inevitable comparisons to her beautiful twin, Cassie--has her constantly crushing on people that she finds unattainable.  After Cassie falls head over heels for Mina, Molly feels pressured to like Will, Mina’s cute and sweet friend.  But she also likes--perhaps more genuinely--Reid, who is, like Molly, overweight and maybe a bit uncool.  This is less a romance--or I was less interested in the romance--than a story about Molly and Cassie growing up and apart.  Molly’s insecurities are driven in part by her comparing herself to Cassie; at the same time, the main reason why she doesn’t want to like Reid is that she thinks he’ll pull her further from her twin.  That’s a super interesting, real conflict.  The romances I found less compelling.  The book includes a lot of diversity, but at a certain point it did feel a bit... checking the boxes-esque?  Like, Molly thought back to this boy she crushed on, and specified that he was a trans boy even though it added nothing to the story and really served more to set him apart, in his two paragraphs of page time, as “special” compared to the cis boys Molly had crushed on.  I get what the author was going for, but it came off as a bit awkward sometimes.  Overall however, this is a very earnest and sweet read.

Given to the Sea by Mindy McGinnis. 2/5.  Khosa is the latest in a long line of women “given” to the sea--she’s destined dance into the sea as a sacrifice to prevent it from swallowing up her homeland.  Before she does that, of course, she needs to give birth to a daughter who will follow in her footsteps.  Trouble is, Khosa is afraid of being touched.  Aaaaaand that’s pretty much what I got from this.  The story has an interesting mythology and I liked the sort of writing style McGinnis was going for, but that’s it.  I kind of debate even giving it a 2/5 for that.  There were too many narrators (Khosa, the prince type guy she met, and his adopted sister I got but there was one guy whose presence as a narrator I never understood) and the plot was very... vague.  I got that Khosa was doomed to be sacrificed and needed to get knocked up, but everything else was extremely hard to understand.  And I was trying.  I really tried.  It just never got there for me.

The Perfect Stranger by Megan Miranda.  2/5.  I really enjoyed Miranda’s previous thriller, “All The Missing Girls”, but this one just... numbed me.  It seemed like a much more standard “what happened to the missing/dead person” story than “ATMG” was, and it never clicked.  

My Sister Rosa by Justine Larbalestier.  4/5.  Che (yes, named after THAT Che because his parents are The Worst) is a teenager moving from Australia to New York.  Also, his little sister Rosa is fucking psychopath.  Rosa has been wrong since she was a baby, but Che is the only one in his family who acknowledges this--ironically, because his parents are always occupied with hippy-type projects that are meant to save the world.  Che knows exactly how dangerous the unfeeling Rosa is, and how easily she manipulates everyone around her.  And of course, she catapults the family into disaster.  This book was pretty chilling at times.  For that matter, it actually had explanations for things that bothered me--why Che’s parents were so shitty, for example.  Threads like those would have been dropped in another book, and I appreciate Larbalestier following up on them.  It’s a really effective thriller; perhaps the most convincing part of it is how much Che loves his sister, despite everything.  The book isn’t quite scary, but it is creepy--and quite sad at points.

The Monster of Florence by Douglas Preston and Mario Spezi.  4/5.  From 1968, a serial killer terrorized the hills surrounding Florence.  The killer would spy on couples parked to have sex--a common practice in Italy, where people usually didn’t leave their parents’ homes until they married--shoot both of them, and often mutilate the women’s bodies in a sexually motivated manner.  There have been a number of suspects, some of which have been convicted then exonerated.  Italian journalist Mario Spezi had been following the case for decades when he met American thriller novelist Douglas Preston.  Forming a friendship, the two began researching the murders, leading to both of them tangling with the Italian authorities (including the prosecutor who botched Amanda Knox’s case; and if you didn’t think she was innocent before you read this book, you probably will after).  The book is divided into two parts--that detailing Mario Spezi’s investigation of the murders as they happened, and then what happened after Preston got involved. Preston describes Florence and the unique Florentine attitude well, but honestly I got frustrated with him a lot.  He seemed so ~shocked~ that the Italian authorities didn’t function in the same way that they do in America.  I figured that out pretty quickly after landing in Italy for my year abroad, and I was 20 at the time.  Also, like...  it wasn’t hard to keep my head down.  I get Preston’s motivations, but his story is less interesting than Spezi’s, which isn’t surprising.  Am I 100% sure that they found the true killer?  No, but their guy seems more likely than anyone else who’s been a suspect.  This is a very gripping, very interesting true crime story that I definitely recommend.

Feast of Sorrow by Crystal King.  4/5.  Thrasius, a young Roman slave, is bought by the patrician Apicius due to his exception skills in the kitchen.  Apicius wants to become the gastronomic adviser of Caesar Augustus, and he believes that Thrasius is his ticket to fave.  What follows is the decades long saga of Thrasius as he helps his often-capricious master and bonds with Apicius’s family, particular his master’s wife, Aelia, and his daughter, Apicata.  But Apicius’s ambition and hunger for renown knows no bounds, and he drags Thrasius and his family into the depths of Roman politics with him.  So this book was actually a really, really compelling read.  King has a talent for description, and as a recurring backdrop of the drama is cookbook(s) that Thrasius is helping Apicius put together... I got hungry fast.  King also has a talent for creating that sense of the Roman world, beyond the famous people.  She created an environment that felt real and everyday to me, while at the same time keying in the drama when she needed to.  I will definitely be picking up her next book, especially if it’s historical fiction.  I couldn’t put this down.  With that being said, there were a couple of things that kept this from being a 5/5 for me.  One was Thrasius’s romance with fellow slave Pallia--it felt very plot-device-y to me; I mean, you do need to give Thrasius a motivation to stay with his master even when he’s a dick (beyond his own life) and yes having him fall in love with a woman brings in the possibility of Babies as an added motivation, but also...  I kinda wish that Thrasius had fallen in love with a dude.  His chemistry and sex scenes with Pallia felt super forced, but his scenes with other men were more... interesting.  Towards the end of the book, the melodrama got dialed up a little too much--like I know it’s not Feast of Sunshine and Daisies but holy shit.  Some fact-checking proves, though, that King did her research and the goriest parts of the book did happen.  So overall, I’d highly recommend this to anyone who wants to read an entertaining novel of Ancient Rome.

The Last Neanderthal by Claire Cameron.  3/5.  This novel takes the perspective of Girl, a young female Neanderthal who, due to a sudden turn of events, ends up alone in the wilderness with Runt, a strange young  boy her family adopted.  At the same time, it tells the story of Rose, a pregnant archeologist who has discovered two unique skeletons and is racing against the clock to finish her project before her baby comes.  This is very much what you might call a feminist read--it’s about different aspects of women’s lives, how much has changed, how much... hasn’t.  What I found particularly interesting was the look at sexism--particularly towards women who choose to become mothers--in the academic world of archeology.  Unfortunately, I can’t say I super liked the book because Girl’s side was... well, kind of a downer.  It’s realistic, but strict realism doesn’t always make the best story; and at any rate, who knows how realistic it is? We’re talking about Neanderthals here.  Also, I feel like some people will really appreciate the degree to which Claire Cameron describes things, but like.  Dude.  Once we start talking in detail about the smell of a Neanderthal’s cervical fluids, I’m kinda out.  But I gave it three stars because it is well-written and it is an interesting angle to take, it’s just not for me.

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan.  5/5.  American Born Chinese (ABC) girl (but not really) Rachel Chu has been dating the charming Nick Young--her first Asian boyfriend--for about two years, and finally agrees to spend the summer with him in Asia as he stands as the best man in his friend’s wedding.  Nick is charming, kind, and handsome--also, he’s mega-rich, as Rachel only discovers upon arriving in Singapore and meeting his family, including his formidable mother Eleanor.  Nick hails from not one but two different elite clans in Singapore society, and not only is his mother plotting against no-name Rachel--so are all the women who want to get their claws into him and his bloodline.  There are several different, super-interesting subplots going on too, but that’s the main story.  And it’s great.  This book is the perfect blend of insightful social commentary--from someone who would actually know what’s he’s talking about, rather than an outsider white author--and catty drama.  Rachel is probably not the most interesting character here, but she’s supposed to be the good girl, and she’s not bland.  She’s smart and sticks up for herself, even if she’s a bit naive.  Nick is a decent guy, if not perfect--he’s ignorant to the complications of his own world because... it’s his world, and he’s a man and therefore not privy to many of the machinations the women perform.  The two most compelling characters are Astrid, Nick’s beautiful cousin who’s just beginning to recognize the cracks in her marriage, and Eleanor, his mother.  Eleanor is AMAZING, the perfect mom from Hell without being a caricature.  Her concerns go over the top, but they stem from a valid place, especially when you take cultural norms into consideration.  Also, she’s being played by Michelle Yeoh in the movie so... I’m hype.  Loved this.  It was one of my longer books of the month, but I sped through it in two days.