#even with my mutuals i'm like “OH SHIT COOL PERSON LIKED MY POST”

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

You liked one of my posts and I got an overwhelming feeling of "Oh my God, a celebrity noticed me!!!"

AGHSDJ That's me with like 90% of this website so I totally get that feeling! I promise you im nowhere near a celebrity though, I'm just a tired college student lmao. I skim the latest tab of the haikyuu tag at least once a day so none of you are safe, hide your headcanon posts cause there's a high chance im reading them >:)

[olderthannetfic]

I used to kinda wrap myself up in purity culture shit ("oh no this youtuber said 1 problematic thing 5 years ago now if i watch them im evil!! oh nooo my mutual reposted from someone who uses [x "invalid" queer label]!!!") when I was on Twitter, and to an extent it persisted when I migrated here, until i realized something so important. It is literally not my business half the time and it does me SO much good not to dwell on it. Oh that random guy my mutual-in-law follows is into a kink i find weird? Cool. I'm just gonna block them and Move On with my life. Saw someone post a ship i think is disgusting in an unrelated tag? Block and Move On. Sure, I might personally think it's gross, but why should I spiral over it when I can just go do something i actually like instead of bothering people, or god forbid writing a callout post for a victimless crime?? Man. Social media got so much more tolerable once I started applying kinktomato and minding my own business

--

Yuuuup. It's obviously a dick move to go pester a rando about this, but it's still terrible even when you're only hurting yourself. Hypervigilance is no way to live.

[carlyraejepsans]

UTY!Flowey, "lore" and how to criticize a fan prequel without being an insufferable pedantic, a guide by Biscia.

(for my muskless fellows, here's a transcript of my thread on Undertale Yellow that I posted on Twitter. enjoy!)

There's this really frustrating attitude in fan spaces i like to call "lorepilling" where people are substantially more concerned with encyclopedic knowledge of details & minutiae (so called "lore") in place of full-text thematic/narrative analysis as if the two are mutually interchangeable.

It's especially common in large franchises and story heavy videogames, and it's like... Are You Treating This Piece Of Art Like A Trivia Battle Or Are You Treating It Like A Story

This is coming from a person who is also deeply autistic about UTDR trivia btw, I'm just saying that when it comes to transformative *stories*, depending on the impact it has on character, themes, and narrative structure... lore is expendable.

Ultimately this is why most of the UTY criticism i see (on twitter specifically) falls flat. What does it matter if "lore" means Flowey couldn't chronologically be there when the justice human fell, as long as the game narratively justified his presence in the story in a compelling way?

The real criticism, in the end, is that it didn't.

He's a plot central, main cast character from the canon returning in a cast of mostly OCs and what does he have to show for it? An admittedly sick boss battle in 1/3 endings, sure but... not much else. He has no significant "presence" in the story, no tie, interaction, or even just... an opinion on the rest of the cast. Which is a huge miss when Flowey's meta role is to be Thee completionist player mirror. He's the OG lorepilled UT fan! He's an opinionated little shit!

This isn't to say that UTY *didn't* engage w/ his metanarrative. When me and @a-town-called-hometown first started playing the game (we were both skeptical of Flowey's inclusion), he immediately said "It would be really cool if they made it so this has been going on for a while and Clover has no idea". Which is precisely what the game did in the neutral ending, and what I will openly say was the most well written & well executed part of this game's story...

...a part we almost didn't see, because the pacifist ending disappointed us so much we lost all will to replay.

To put it in the words of my friend Mel @clowwwnbytes, there's a deafening hollowness to UTY Flowey's motivations & core principles where his guilt towards Chara—and resulting black and white thinking—should be. You're telling me Mr Kill-or-be-killed, "sacrificing yourself to do the right thing is stupid", would stand there after 1000s of failed attempts to make Clover survive, look on as they make the same mistake Asriel he did, and fondly call them friend? Cue the guitar, roll the credits?

He would lose it. Oh my god he would lose his goddamn mind, he would throw the nastiest temper tantrum in the world. Are you serious? How dare you. How DARE you. All this effort, all my patience, and you just let yourself DIE for a few worthless idiots? I should've let you ROT!

*clears throat* sorry got a bit too into character. as i was saying.

I can understand a UT prequel wanting to distance itself from the canon Chara storyline in order to form its own identity, but then turning around and choosing Insane About Chara The Character™ for a sidekick is... far from optimal. In the end, Flowey comes across as underutilized and inconsistent, with a whole lot of wasted potential.

This is an issue I have with UTY's character writing (original AND returning) and story structure as a whole. Lots of inconsistent character arcs, tonal dissonance, overuse of situational sadness... it's an amateurish work, after all, and you can feel it. There's no shame in that.

(Though, there ARE some issues that i take more seriously with its writing, especially when it comes to its two main female characters—Ceroba's lack of narrative agency and depth borders on misogynistic writing imo. But that's a topic for another day)

Over all, UTY was an incredible piece of collaborative transformative work, with gorgeous art and a genuinely incredible OST, which... would have benefited from more experienced writers. But hey, you can only ever learn by trying!

For all it could've been a better story, it certainly did not fail to entertain: both when my friend was playing it, and after in our many discussions of its writing, its faults and how it could've been improved (royal scientist!ceroba character fix you will always be famous. to ME!)

I'm sure this project served as an incredible source of experience for the developers: as individual creators AND as a team. I look forward to their future projects!

but also if i have to see another person say UTY is better than Undertale i might turn into The Jonker.

end of the essay! really couldn't stand any of the pedantic ""criticism"" I'd seen of this fangame so far, so i had to say my piece as someone more versed in analysis. happy to elaborate on anything in the replies or in my inbox!

[ryansbabygirloliver]

Sorry, I'm going to be messy - 25

OH BOY well i had this in a draft and decided not to post it but whatever most of the other tommy fans i followed unfollowed me already anyway.

A CONTROVERSIAL OPINION

as someone who has liked tommy for the most part, i am really uncomfortable with the way people who are big fans of that relationship are acting like it's not a big red flag for your partner to hold jealousy and resentment towards your best friend. FOR ME, in the case that that pairing would be one tim is going to go for in the long run, tommy would have to do a lot to figure his shit out because that kind of thing is. i was personally in a relationship for a long time where my partner seemed to be threatened by some of my long term friendships and there came a point where it got manipulative in the ways that they would steer me away from those people and i even ended up losing friends because of it. it's not really cool to feel threatened in that way by your partners bestie, even if you think it's too intense, even if you think there might be more. what you do is talk to them, assume honesty. you don't dump them for it and then months later make jokes about competition. it just makes me feel weird and im not into it.

and i am totally willing to admit that that is my personal experience talking, but i saw some people saying that buck needs to work on himself so they can get back together and imo if anyone needs to work on themselves it's tommy (maybe both, probably both). that's just not okay because eddie isn't actually going anywhere. he's going to be buck's best friend. and assuming that a friendship like theirs is over bc eddie has moved isn't really going to help him. idk. this is probably not controversial to the people i am mutuals with currently outside of a fair few. and i am aware that we know tommy clearly has some self worth issues, but the whole threatened by eddie thing rubs me the wrong way in the context of romantic future bt and i feel like the show would really have to address that to make any sort of future not feel. mm. hmm.

(that being said i actually do think they're going for buddie and it'll be irrelevant but i am speaking in the context of. you know.

this is not a commentary on anything or anyone other than how i feel about that type of jealousy in relationships.)

[bringcal]

Okayyy welcome to my first (kind of, I did do something like this one) blog post !!!! I finally finished school, so this past week and a half has just been doing my own thing, preparing for commissions to be open, and trying to sort out all my projects…

Here's all the stuff happening in my life that I'll touch on: I. Commissions and websites II. Schools over, my art plans III. Linux adventures in stupid-land

Commissions and websites I did, in fact, finish my commission page and commissions are open, I just haven't formally announced it here and have been taking them from smaller sources at first. Did a bit of a revamp of my commissions, and posted about making my own site page for people to use instead of a carrd or some graphic design poster type thing.

I'm really passionate about Neocities specifically and I really want to try to get other people into it because I believe a lot of my mutuals on here would have cool sites if they tried. I want people to understand its actually not that hard at all and they should not be taking the "coding anything at all is so intelligible and hard u need to be a super genius to understand anything" sentiments to heart about it because actually if you wanna make urself a nice little site on neocities its very simple to learn and even if your site is built like ass no one on there cares.

When I first opened my Neocities it took me a weekend to make a single page and honestly the longest part was just drawing all the assets I wanted. If you're a creative person like me maybe spend an evening just drawing out an idea of what you'd like your site to look like and congrats you're already part of the way there. Planning is the first step!

Schools over, my art plans NO MORE WORK !!! for the summer. Now I have to get a job. but I'm really considering what to do after this degree. I came in so set on being a psychologist and that dream got stomped out immediately. So then I just chose to be a teacher. and like, I still want that, but. I don't think I'm ready? I try hard to volunteer and get experience, but teachers college is extremely competitive I just can't sort my life out to get a lot of experience I need.

I'm thinking of going to art school for illustration first and putting myself further in debt cuz that shit slaps when you don't have to pay it just yet! I love free school!!!! future Ridley will hate me !!!

This section is much shorter cuz its more personal, but just know these considerations are taking up a LOT of my mind space rn X_X

Linux Adventures in stupid-land

Since school is over, I finally had a single braincell to try out Linux, and try out I did !

For some background, I am not really a tech savvy person, at least I don't think I am. I only ever got interested tech about a few months ago, and before that I just kinda used my stuff like a normal person (and I feel I honestly still mostly do? at least, I am not a programmer. I just play a lot of games and draw art.) and it was mainly my partner lecturing me on Basic Stuff is when i started to know a bit more of what i should and shouldn't be doing

I think because of this my partner has been really interested the entire time I've known them to see how a normal person would handle trying linux when all I've known my entire life is Windows and macOS makes me wanna cry!

At first it was not good, but it was pretty much because my partner took my laptop and put fedora on it and I hated it so bad it made me stop using my laptop entirely and treat it even worse than before. So my introduction was unwelcoming. It was only when I just decided to get Linux mint myself on my laptop when I was like oh ok this is fine actually. It was actually so fine that a week later I ended up backing up all my important shit on an external storage so I can blow up my Windows installation entirely on my desktop so I can exclusively try out CachyOS on my PC, which i use daily. 5 days in and it's been good! I've tried a few distros and nothing is as comfortable as Cachy is for me and it was very much the perfect introduction to the Terminal for me since when you're on mint you don't really need to use it for anything and mint is a lot like Windows 2, at least to me.

My desktop so far! It basically kinda just looks like how my windows did lmao, but I like it ^_^

It's really interesting because I think me alone trying it sparked a lot of people I am friends with and know to immediately ask for help so they can try out linux themselves and like. I don't even know much but I think that's exactly why they immediately asked because they know if I can do it they can too. I've written guides for them anyways despite being a new-baby because It's so unnecessarily complicated for new people to learn and get into cuz a lot of guides just Kind of assume the person is like, majoring in CS and already know 'basic' concepts. So I wrote one to make it even more basic. and doesn't assume where you're at coming in. I've been told to post it but I'm shy! ( and also, I'd wanna go back and make it even easier to follow)

I only had to give up a single game.. which is Infinity Nikki. Really soul crushing bc im obsessed w that game. I play it on mobile only now but its not the same because its so bad on mobile. weh! I at first also had to give up Davinci Resolve (program I use to make videos) but I found my way around that and now I can use it :3

[starzgaze]

hope you don't mind me ranting rq--

i constantly think about your yan!Hae-In and yan!Jinwoo ideas because they're so fun to mess around with.

bc what if the readers honest to god reaction to either of then confessing to then was "i don't feel the dame way.. you wanna see this cool bug i found?"

that OR the reader is a little freak of a poet and writes romance novels with concerningly detailed cannibalism scenes and is more interested in the shadow ants than either of them.

also i'm planning on writing a fic about the cannibal poet reader, but it's going to take a while because i'm shit at writing-

LMFAOO IDC IF U FLOOD MY INBOX ITS FINEEE more people to talk to anyway because im a bit of a pussy to talk straight up to my mutuals sigh

also thanks i actually have alot in my drafts its just most of them are unfinished and i have no idea if i should let them see the light of day or not... same with w.jc , chi, and sjw sick day fic LMFAOO uhhmm anyway!!

that's actually something i lovvee experienting with lowkey especially as someone who takes a big looong time to realize 'oh they liked me" and it's been fucking months since they confessed but anyqay I actually act like that most of the time it's pretty bad anywaaay this is funny as hell with yandere jinhae who's TRYING their best to make you swoon even if they're not the best with romance but you still don't... budge... bur hey you'll show them some cool colored bug you picked off the side walk! that's hopefully not a mutated monster that escaped a dungeon.

anyway more on the first idea this probably either ends really well or horribly depending on how both jinwoo and haein receives this ooooooorrr the circumstances really on how much they both value you but since im a freak for borderline this is insanity why are you writing this type of literature let's say that if you rejected then you have one swordswoman who accidentally fucks you up psychologically (I don't see haein someone who would do it willingly or deliberately gets enjoyment from it) but with jinwoo its a bit complicated to say because each person has a different take on how jinwoo perceives romance and how he processes feelings but since its my post im going with it's probably borderline fucked up if we consider the fact the more he levels up or grows the more apathetic or inhumane he becomes! im gonna abuse the hell out of this concept

but anywya with jinwoo u're probably gonna either get straight up kidnapped OR because you're lowkey desensitized and carefree that maybe kidnapping doesn't really have any affect on you then he might just sends weird eldritch horrors depictions of death and darkness when you're about to sleep so now you need a cute bug themes night light to sleep because no way you're letting some death incarnate screw up your sleeping schedule.

also those two as an attempt to maybe sway you might get into bugs or whatever little interests like jinwoo is having small consultations with beru or has him on standby everytime he spends time with you or haein overcoming her trauma (this takes place after jeju island) and learns and starts to love bugs just for you to reciprocate her feelings then these two quiz eachother on who knows more and what not it's literally amusing to see them debates over fuckinf caterpillars when you returned with take out because they insisted hanging out with you

anyway now on the latter I LOVE LOVE grotesque depictions of love especially like with murder OR cannibalism like how probably eating eachother is like a way of showing affection and how now your love will always be inside of them (literally) or something along the lines!! it's actually so cool how it's portrayed in media i need some suggestions actually anyway in the context of jinhae and mc being a poet uhmmm I'm not sure because i suck at making poems so im not the best on how to... make this work... i hate writing poems but I'll stick witj the theme of being a romance horror writer but not what you think of like colleen hoover or whomever the fuck wrote haunting adeline (god please i hope those books gets SMITED off the face of earth because this has stained dark romance to the point i dont even wanna acknowledge dark romance as a genre).

if you're a popular horror writer who specializes on creeping out your readers but still somehow delivers a good message or screwedd up message in between the lines of ripped boddies and intestines then jinhae has probably heard of you before like definitely.

like the themes of your books or poems to other people seems to be very disgusting or only written for the shock value but maybe to jinwoo or haein they have a whooole different meaning or one of your books/poems struck them really deep they got into a bit of a rabbit hole going through your collection as an author. i can definitely see both of them becoming fans and attending meet and greets.

oh my god a thought came to me and it's basically how would these two act in the internet if your name was beinf slandered like because your books or poems is not well perceived by all because you would occasionally write screwed up romance that you do not condone at all!! it's all for the sake of symbolism and experimentation with the material but anyway these two would have different reactions to this

for example haein seems to be the type to not be sooo like... like how do i explain this shes the type to have an anonymous account and goes to those forums to have actual discussions and tries to be civil as she can be when she tries to convert these haters why they should like you because i can't see her going as far to try to find this individual's address BUT but im just saying if ever that same hater was in the same dungeon raid as haein, there's no guarantee that haein will probably let them... die and say it was an accident.

anyway jinwoo is less interactive on the internet and is more of a lurker but he's probably the definitely the type to send ominous messages and then appear on their doorstep next morning or even minute if they're that unlucky LMFAO. another case of missing people otw!!

oh and i lowkey love the whooole idea of if you have a writer darling no matter how screwed or how fluffy their stories are the person or people who loves them will try to recreate this. yeaaah i can see this happening with jinwoo and haein and the tiny competition they have is who performed it better.

like for example if you written a poem about the elegant slashes of a sword on how it glides so easily through certain monsters, haein would try to replicate the feeling and explains to jinwoo that she obviously is better at portraying at this because she is a certified swordswoman or something along the lines and honestly jinwoo can't exactly argue against that because she's right but he won't admit it

then with paragraphs that depicts the most grueling experience of death and what not is something jinwoo is really familiar with and he's the type to copy it by doing it on random monsters he encounters in dungeons or even certain monarchs if they're that unlucky or jinwoo feels a biiit experimental LMFAO yeah okay what my brain is fried.

oh talking about darling being a horror romance writer, the moment jinwoo introduces his shadows or you find out about you become absolutely infatuated with them and the whoole idea like especially they're permanently serving death that's a pretty neat idea to you.

you start to write more and talk less to jinwoo and mooore to the shadows, it's pretty funny to see but you didn't notice the fact jinwoo is fuming in the background as he watches you get into in depth discussions with igris and bellion about their past lives and how you'll implement their experiences in a poem

yeha kay thats it my brain wugh dead bye uhm yeah talk to me more i love this sm thanks for food for thought

[inchidentally]

Why do I feel like Oscar is intentionally keeping Lando at a distance because he assumes it would never work out? And Lando kind of wishes Oscar would show an interest but he isn't so Lando pulls back too? Maybe I'm totally crazy but feels like they're doing a double fake out. If not then why not just be friendly the way they are with other guys?

@twinkodium helped talk me through this ask so a huge thank you to her <3

gonna put below a cut and include some other asks that aren't necessarily of interest to everyone and are kind of in the same vein (note the tag)

okay so "why not just be friendly like they are with other guys" is a pretty good thing to focus on bc when you actually break it down, Lando and Oscar define themselves as being pretty shy and they conceal a fair amount their lives and closest friends from the public. and truth is that it seems to take both of them at least a year of knowing someone before they open up - and even longer before they're as friendly as we see them with guys like Logan, Zhou, Carlos or Daniel. Lando lists the guys he's known since as far back as karting as his closest friends. so after just one season together, what we already have in terms of friendliness between Lando and Oscar is pretty damn good!

but honestly we can't say that either of them are really holding back at all when we've got Andrea and Zak constantly emphasizing how in sync they are and then of course how big they both show up for each other's wins/poles etc. whatever we don't get in terms of fun fandom content, we've got them showing each other mutual respect and support and sharing the same priorities. that's... really good imo.

it's what cracks me up abt everyone who went all 'planetf1 angry white dad in oakleys selfie in a truck comment section' over that recent Oscar quote. Lando's literally had everyone saying the same thing to him, directly and on social media ?? did they also decide that Martin Brundle, Natalie Pinkham, Lawrence Barretto and Jenson Button all despise Lando and want to take swipes at him by saying that his public flagellation feels of no use and worse, that it's probably a hindrance to his mindset? did Lando suddenly became loathed by all these people who SEEM to openly like or love him bc they said that ??

or did they expect Oscar to respond to that question with "oh no yeah it's cool that my teammate who I actually like shits all over himself and gives his haters ammo y'know to each their own whatever man" bc that WOULD actually be incredibly cold and hurtful asgajsgfljasf

I know fandom can go way off track and start expecting these men to talk like fan fic but the truth is that they view each other as professionals and fellow drivers first and friends (if they are) second. I won't repeat myself bc I've posted about it enough but none of the grid are a significant part of Lando or Oscar's life outside F1. Lando and Martin did a stopover in Perth (and apparently Martin even had work there?) for one day to ride dirt bikes at Daniel's ranch and Lando went to Carlos' sisters' gigantic state wedding lol. doesn't compare at all compared to Lando's time spent with Max F, the quadrant folks, his family, his Monaco friends and definitely not Martin Garrix. it also doesn't mean that they're not still friends with those guys on the grid - it's just not the same.

so the fact that Lando and Oscar aren't out here dishing out bromancey stuff where fans can see and hear definitely doesn't say that those bromances mean the drivers are actually any closer. Oscar relied on extroverts like Robert and Arthur to give him something to play off and Lando relied on Carlos and Daniel for the same. so when they're left without a gobby extrovert they do that cute thing of giggling and handing back and forth to each other. to me personally it's always kind of sweet ?? that Lando and Oscar do the thing of looking at each other for support to get through the cringey and awkward to camera stuff. sometimes when Lando is really feeling himself Oscar can just kick back and watch him. and as we saw w that helmet design video, even when Oscar isn't filming w Lando he hangs around offers support.

wow apparently I cannot stay on track today anon but idk I just personally think that it's the opposite of a mutual fakeout and they've bonded pretty well over both being shy, both being equally focused on their careers and also needing to switch off sometimes. finding out they spent the night after Lando's crash in Vegas together sharing "commiserations" is like, one in a long list of us hearing that they chose to hang out alone together and not publicize it.

all of us are on the outside of their friendship and as much as that suuuuucks for not getting as much content as we want, it's also really sweet and kind more likely to be genuine and lasting since they consider a lot of that relationship as private <3

askgfka no prob!! tbh a lot of the stress and anxiety in other Lando ships is down to ppl getting way too comfy w the idea that real life partners either aren't "real" or that they're the only thing standing in the way of their ship becoming real.

and bc for some reason landoscar makes me want to write all of these essays I feel like it's kind of my responsibility to be like yeah, there's even more than just assuming ppl's sexualities and their real life partners stand between two ppl we like to imagine together actually getting together. rpf is heavy on the f and mostly what we're all actually enjoying are friendships. and as someone who is lucky to have them, I personally wouldn't be one of those ppl who said romantic partners and friendships are on some sliding scale of importance. they're just different!

ever since landoscar became a thing, Lily's been in Oscar's life and Lando's been pursued by every man who sees him and burning through baddies on Raya on a literal global scale. it's important to come back from rpf to that fact so we don't end up attraction those legions of people calling real life girlfriends "PR beards" or that Lando's dating app horniness is some front for him meeting up with Carlos or Daniel or whoever lol.

oh I am so not the person to answer abt this since I can't relate to wanting couples to get married or thinking that it's all that significant! I'm a huge romantic and I theoretically enjoy the idea of weddings/marriage but all the ppl I know who've gotten married out of college are already regretting or cheating it so it's put a real damper on it for me.

but that's as much as I want to speculate abt them bc I don't want to put anything out in the universe for ppl I'll never even know !!

[geddy-leesbian]

ngl weirdly salty that there's already like an Established Leon Lore guy. does not matter how much i meticulously document everything about DSC lore, literally no one will ever come to my ask box on @leon-stupid-kennedy to ask a lore question. I guarantee if the vast majority of my mutuals had a question related to Darkside Chronicles Leon they wouldn't come to me, they'd run straight to highball. don't get me wrong highball is GOAT, but like when it comes to Darkside specifically I'd say I'm more useful. like I'm not trying to be arrogant or say I'm a Leon expert or anything but I don't think he's even played DSC ever, I had to get him screenshots of costumes once when he posted about not being able to find them and also he wasn't aware that the cutscenes are pre rendered or whatever so costumes don't work in them. I have a phd in darkside chronicles at this point but i don't have cool name recognition so why even bother asking me when you could just ask highball because his word is gospel who cares what anyone else knows about leon

No matter how hard i try i will never get lore questions or requests for anything because ???

Like even outside of darkside i feel like i have enough cred to be someone who would maybe get a luis lore ask once in a blue moon bc ive analyzed his fucking trash can and found a HIDDEN ROOM IN HIS HOUSE NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER GONE IN but nope no one cares about heathers thoughts at all! my opinions are worth nothing i exist to pump out gif and screenshot sets. the only time i get headcanon/lore/anything asks is when i pathetically beg which makes it less fun! :) literally how the fuck do people judt get spontaneous asks.

I do so much work taking screenshots of EVERYTHING and compiling lore and no one gives a shit because I'm not some household re fandom name like highball or eric. I'm the weird loser outcast of the fandom that's never fully included. You'll drive by and maybe slow down and reblog a gif set of mine or a shit post, but you're keeping your windows rolled up, you're not engaging with me.

Once in a while I'll get thanked for what i do but idk it just rings hollow sometimes. Ppl tell me ive done so much for the fandom but the fandom doesn't seem to be aware of that seeing as a lot of re blogs that interact with my mutuals constantly refuse to follow me or engage with me in any way beyond reblogging my shit posts :) literally people who joined the fandom long after I did have more RE mutuals than me. whenever a new person pops up in the fandom everyone flocks to them and they'll follow back and interact with a ton of people, but not me! :)) like do I need to change my blog theme? Trash the ugly wall of disorganized text. Oh wait no that won't do anything because even when I had a super clean/neat/organized blog description I was ignored like I am now :)) something about me is inherently off putting to other RE fans and I should just give up <3

[guyswhoisleo]

rant post bcz wtf

uhhhh story from like, two weeks ago.

i'll make another post later Abt what's happening rn cuz there's more w diff peoples

This situation is pretty much over thank God but I'm still gon tell y'all. so there was this guy, call him E. E was pretty funny, I talked to him a few times before n stuff. But anyway, he started coming up to my friend group and me during lunch- oh cool he wants to be friends. so he's sitting there low-key lore dumping about his exes (I'm friends with them too????????) and I left my phone open on the table for a bit, because I like legit have nothing to hide so if smb grabs my phone I don't care as long as I get it back. right, so he grabbed my phone and put in his insta... oh okay... cool... that's fineeee......anyway I was okay with it because I was lowkey gonna ask for socials anyway so we can talk more, since I thought he was pretty cool (AS A FRIEND.) Okay so the next day there's an event at me school, he asks me to hang out with him during the event so I was like "OK!!" (oh how naieve...) but the whole time at the eveent he'd find excuses to like grab me and touch me...I was very much uncomfortable. and at one point he started talking about this one girl he messed around with,,,,then showed me her literal noodles. Okay for some bg, I barely talk to this girl but shes such a sweetheart and in a great rls. Now, when they were messing around, they were in middle school,,,they're juniors now. and he still has her noodles on his phone...like quick access too... ew. but I just kind of ignored it, he walked me to my sisters school to pick her up bla blah, we were talking and before then he didnt know i am not ciz...like at all #iheartbeinggenderfluid but before then he was so adament on being staight, like..... oh.! then when i finally told him to like, call me my pref name,,,,all of the sudden "Oh I'm actually a bit gay...I like a guy but its a very specific type,,," oh...! I asked him to tell me the type and I've never seen someone switch topics so fast. Anywho, my sister came out of the school (for some bg she has like scarily good intuition) and immediately hid behind me,,,looking back she is so righttt!111 But yeah. Fast forward a bit he's texting...nonstop... ok. but like, he'd tell me like "Youre the only person I talk to" and "I find excuses to talk to youuu" and just like general clingy shit, gn msgs with hearts- not weird until you remember I just met this guy three days ago. But yeah, we made plans to hang out and stuff because I was so insistant on giving him a chance but damn. Anyway he was doing that weird shit, being extra close, trying to find excuses to touch me...weirding me out. He even bought me candy (girl byeee but yeah) anyway I was like, nope, I cant be alone so I kind of bailed to a friend's house,, hoped for the best. Fast forward again like the next day he's texting me, I'm barely engaging in Convo cuz ik what's happening n shi (mind you I've told him about a GIRL I liked like...sm times...like he knows ion want him....) and like, in conversation there's this other guy I don't like, S, but S is a bit younger I know him through band, he's still in middle school. Now what I'm about to say is fucking insane-

Him- "What if we got S to make us food"

me- "he'd probs put motor oil in it lols" (joke cuz he works at an auto shop)

Him "wtf LMAO y?"

me- "js that typa guy ig lol"

him (Didnt text for a min)- "Nvm what I was gna say is gna make me puke"

me- dog what were you gonna say (paraphrased)

him- his hair

me-what?

him- like his other hair

me-WHAT.

so yeah a hs sophmore- supposed to be junior is talking about a middle schooler putting down there hair in food....as a joke. I never switched topics so fast cuz wtf. I told him it made me uncomfortable and stuff and then he just kept going so I blocked him.

Next monday I'm at school telling my friends, he's glancing at me, texting a mutual friend like "Ik she's laughing at me..." (misgendering me again btw.) like yeah.... you were being weird I'm telling my people to cope???? like dawg. and my one friend A, his ex, showed me a SS from when they dated and when I tell you this was like wtf I could have screamed. So the ss basically was him telling her he doesn't like boxers because they "squish his junk" and leave shit stains.... EW??????????? that creature liked me??????? oh hell no. but then he got one of his friends to give me a (very poorly, like 1st grader shit) handwritten note. There were sm spelling mistakes and the handwriting was almost illegible, but it was just him begging me to unblock him...I promptly ignored him. thank God now he's finally leaving me aloneee'

but at one point ik he was like, telling one of our mutual friend's the story but some weird fuckassery version of it,,,even though I legit showed and sent her ss but wtvs

her and I r still friends

idk bout them tho

[talesfromtheasterism]

Fear & Loathing In The Bloodstar Republic

Dear person I don't fucking know,

If the cursive above is a little shaky, it's my hand trembling from the shock of our mutual Friend giving me a direct fucking order. Have you ever been in the same room as him? He's got the presence of a coatrack. So having this freeclass-age fossil loom over me, look me dead in the eyes and demand me do shit for him did not feel right, I will graciously admit. So that brings us to you, Person I Don't Fucking Know.

I know two things about you. First: you distribute what he writes on Earth. Second: you believe anything he tells you because you've never actually been here. Things like, "Oh, my mole inside the Asterism's most totally totalitarian state is super cool with you handing out his report docs on the street corner!" Except I know how you actually distribute them, because I know how the Bloodstar commnet works, I know the internet is very similar, and I know what "population in the billions" means. So how many readers is that? A couple hundred thousand if you did a really shit job?

He sent me your way at the funeral, and said you'd know whose funeral I was talking about. And then he instructed me to write about the plight of my fair, beautiful dystopia for you. And I'm going to, but I'd prefer being told that I'm the face of the battle against fascism in a parallel universe before he broadcasts all my codes and tells to 10,000 Asterisms worth of people.

Except he had this look in his eyes. He's been through some shit the last few weeks, yeah, but… I've seen that look before. Saw it in places nobody deserves to be. Things aren't going good over there, are they? You're in the same boat as me now, trying to figure out how you fight back, how you survive. Well, I hate to say it, but I'm shit at giving advice. And I'm no Free Ashen guerrilla either. I'm just a comms guy. But in case some dead-inside class-one asks why they should join the cause, I came up with this:

You're not fighting a gov, or a corp, or even a group of people. You're fighting an idea. Ideas are like fire, and you can't beat a warehouse of burning paper in a fistfight. You learn how to cut off its fuel, starve it of oxygen, and get rid of the sparks so it never starts up again. You're not the guy breaking down the door with a firehose. You're the guy shutting all the windows so that guy's eyeballs don't melt out of his head. Stop thinking the first guy is better.

It's shit and it's too long, but I'm sure you can workshop it for me, mysterious wordsmith. I hereby consent to you posting what I send you, and in my endless benevolence, forgive you for being an accessory to bullshit with the first letter.

DO NOT SEND ME YOUR NAME, I AM NOT SENDING YOU MINE.

Yours faithfully, Z.K.

[dykephan]

hi, totally agree with you about the december getting together thing and just wanted to add on to a few points. One about online perceptions and stuff is they mightve both wanted to have this appearance of a cool, sexy, mysterious, emo guy on the internet who is "mature" and has casual sex all the time nbd lol and not wanting to seem clingy. Its kind of embarrasing to want more sometimes (its cheesy, its meant to be). For Dan I also dont think he would want Phil to see him as an obsessed fan (also the age thing) so putting up a nonchalant front would help put them on more even footing. For Phil its just like you already said mainly and not wanting to scare Dan off, following Dan's lead. Also Dan just getting out of a longterm relationship and being 18 he might not have been inclined to tie himself down quick when he was single for the first time in a bit, especially to someone who lives far away, but then obv realized this thing with Phil wasnt just going to be some casual fling. Also lol this "reveal" was not weird/ suprising to me bcos of my own experience of being with this girl for like 3 ish months had been friends previously we were having sex and saying we loved eachother etc but whole time being like we're not dating though lol

oh 100% agree, especially when you're at that age it's sooo embarrassing to admit you do want to find someone who cares about you and enriches your life and shares a future with you... it's so much easier to flirt with strangers online and pretend you're too cool to feel any particular way about it. like you said, i think it comes down to both of them realizing that this was not going to be some casual fling. and 2 months is honestly no time at all considering how much they had to think about & plan for!!

also yeah i agree it wasn't surprising to me it was more just like. first of all like holy shit why are you sharing this information with me unprompted are you sure you meant to say that?? second of all, i guess i didn't KNOW until i KNEW. it's one thing to look at the things they posted around that time period and make guesses, but hearing it out loud made me feel sooooo dumbfounded. idk why but that one hit me way harder than the tour bus thing...

anyway let me share a personal anecdote here because it's only fair after i've invaded their privacy i should embarrass myself a little fksjfks many years ago i started talking to a tumblr mutual and we got super close as friends, we spent literally hours talking every night and we'd even fall asleep on skype just to be with each other. i told her things i have still never told anyone else in my life. and ofc there was heavyy flirting which was fun except i have horrible commitment issues.. doing all this online didn't feel as scary and real to me. but then we made plans to actually travel and meet up, and i started getting. idk. itchy 😭 but i did go across the country to meet her and it was such a perfect weekend, she was so funny and beautiful and even more magnetic in person. it clarified my feelings about her in a way that chatting online never could, but also it scared the shit out of me and so when that weekend was over i went back home and i told her i couldn't do it anymore and that was it. we tried to be friends after that but it just wasn't the same and neither of us had our hearts in it. i still think about her and hope she's doing well but we haven't talked in years

so basically i'm living in the dark dan and phil timeline where they filmed pinof and then said okay bye dude 👍🏻 fuck my stupid baka life

[olderthannetfic]

I find the recent "proshippers who express their dislike for certain AUs/ships/characters are just as bad as antis and aren't really proshippers" discussion to be...interesting? Here's my two cents:

I reject the dichotomy, tbh. I think we, without even realizing it, get a bit too hung up on the "ship" part of it and not hung up enough on the "pro" part of it. We all know that antis don't just send death threats and rape threats and other horrendous stuff just due to ships. They do the same over characters, kinks, tropes, etc. Even if you don't ship Reylo, you're seen as just as bad as the filthy Reylos if you're pro Bendemption.

HOWEVER...I really do not think we should liken "omg they ship wincest how cringe" or even "oh ew wincest is gross, shippers dni" to sending actual hate, threats, etc to wincest shippers. Personally, I am no more or less offended by "I hate Jarley shippers so much, their taste is awful!" than I am by "I hate high school AU writers so much, their taste is awful!" Sure, an anti trashtalking Jarley or other #toxique pairings definitely has more connotations and implications than a proshipper trashtalking ~vanilla~ AUs, but the actual WORDS aren't really all that different, yk?

I think, unless you're actually harassing someone -- and i do mean harassing, not sending a one-off troll anon -- and i do mean someone, not just a vague DNI banner in your card or a general post here and there about how Incest Is Bad, then you can express whatever opinions you want so long as you stay out of the tag and don't say your opinion directly as a reaction to someone telling you about their work. (eg "I just started my MCU/Sherlock crossover fanfic!" "Omg what? That's so cringe! Write a Serbian pigeon movie AU instead")

I'm one of the people who identifies as an ex-anti, but i think i was more of the whole "i'm not, but i believe in their beliefs." I was always against harassment and threats and I often unfollowed/blocked people who DID do that shit or who made callout posts or whatever. If we were close enough, I'd tell the person off, knowing they'd probably be more willing to listen to a friend or mutual who has their beliefs than a stranger on the other end of the spectrum. Really, the worst I ever did was reblog those stupid posts about fiction impacting reality (the infamous Jaws post comes to mind in particular) or about how incest/age gap/etc is Bad and Wrong. Definitely not super cool, but it was by no means bullying or harassment.

If I were to go out of my way and express my hate for a certain series or character or ship or trope in the tag, in the comments, to someone's face, I'd be a pretty terrible person! But if I just post on my blog about how something isn't for me, that's not harassing anyone.

Even today I think I still have a "not, but believe in their beliefs" stance about proshipping. Maybe I wore myself out of it when I was in my anti phase, but at this point I don't really have much desire to discuss it, outside of this ask i guess lol and occasionally some comments on the ao3 subreddit. I don't even reblog those uwu here's how the world works posts that are like "REMINDER that ao3 is an ARCHIVE :) it was created for PROBLEMATIC CONTENT :)" "ALL SHIPS ARE GOOD SHIPS" "fiction is not reality!" types of posts that are not explicitly about proshipping but also are clearly about proshipping. Not even because I disagree, but because at this point in time it feels very similar to reblogging "HEY :) please DONT feed the animals at the zoo :)" "Reminder that you need to TURN YOUR PHONE ON before you can start using it :)" or other like...incredibly basic infos about life lol. It's basically the ship discourse equiv of those early 2012 posts that are like "REBLOG IF YOU SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE <3" Like, yes, but...I don't need to do bare-bones virtue signalling on my blog for you to figure that out LOL

Im getting off topic and i don't really know what the original point i'm trying to make here is, just like...I get that it always sucks to see someone bashing your taste, even if it's just casual or humorous. but I think if someone is just making a post about how much they dislike certain things, that doesn't mean they're not a pro-shipper. It's only when you start actually being rude to people that I might question your actual "anti-harassment" values. I don't have many dark tastes myself, but I also am not a huge fan of the flowershop/school/job/modern AUs. Me saying "rape fics aren't for me" or "coffee shop fics aren't for me" hold the same exact weight and they say nothing about my views on fiction and what should and shouldn't be read or written; i'm neither a puritan who hates Bad Things nor a pretentious asshat who hates Silly Things. I will support the beloved mutuals'/friends' dark fiction from afar...I will do the exact same thing with their lighthearted fiction. i try not to keep ANY negative opinions on my blog, even if it's just an innocent post about how i dont enjoy a certain thing. but the vocal-minority idea that no one is allowed to say anything negative ever or they're not actually anti harassment is uh. Fascinating for sure!

--

[starrzies]

★20! [Birthday Art - Personal Art +Speedpaint]★

WOAH!!! I'm 20 now!! That's kinda crazy right? 2 decades on this planet? Pretty cool if you ask me!

My attitude towards my birthday is SO different form last year and I am SO HAPPY!

I got out of a shitty relationship, I'm doing so much better in school, have a job, got to see TF One multiple times, connected with my family on a deeper level and even got a cool therapist who is continuing to help me improve! And this isn't even mentioning all of the people I get to call my friends and mutuals who have helped me through everything <3 Overall, these last 4 months since the breakup have been CRAZY GOOD. Who knew that's what I needed to actually feel good about life LMFAO

Anyways, I have a lot planned for today!! I'm getting my second tattoo and going to scour a few stores for Transformers related stuff, It'll be fun!! Oh, and eating a shit ton of pumpkin pie! Despite that, I did want to come on here and post something and also give a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has supported me and interacted with me this last year. You guys genuinely helped me so much and I'm so glad I could even just interact with you in passing.

Until next time!

Quick Reminder!!  I DO NOT allow people to reupload, repost, claim, trace, reference or use my art without my Permission! If my art is posted anywhere else other than my accounts it’s not mine! If you like my work, consider following me or commissioning me!! (This does not count if the art was made for you! Please remember to credit me though!!)

Art Trades are Open! Commissions are Open!! Do NOT ask me about Requests!! Do NOT; Reupload, Repost, Claim, Trace, Reference or use my art without my Permission! 💜

You can Dm me Questions or Concerns! Like my work? Check out my Carrd for where else you can find me!

[thekimspoblog]

Introducing myself to a new mutual.

Me: I'm mostly on here to yell about how Kim should be allowed to become a villain if/when she gets her own spinoff.

Them: Like an alternative universe? 👀 or in the breaking bad timeline

I’ve never heard anyone say that before sounds pretty cool she def would fit the roll

Me: I'd like to see her story continue after BCS. My headcanon is that she "relapsed" pretty hard back into being Slippin' Kimmy, given how clearly miserable she was trying to be a "normal" person in Florida. I also think it would be interesting if her ruthlessness found an outlet in the form of joining the reproductive rights movement; I honestly feel like it was an oversight how BCS never brought up the attacks on Roe.

Most of my fanfics also involve her going back and starting a family with Jimmy if it's not too late. But admittedly that part is mostly just wish fulfilment.

I guess I would specify that when I say "villain" I really still more mean "antihero". I think Kim Wexler works as a Mary Sue for addressing many contemporary social issues, some with easy solutions and cartoon villains to defeat, some with no perfect solutions available whatsoever; my favorite character arc in BCS was easily the Mr. Acker subplot.

But even if she is actively trying to be a moral person, it's more interesting if Kim is not omniscient and frequently makes a wrong or questionable choice when faced with a trolley problem. Walter White was only ever interested in his own self-aggrandizement, but if I was going to give Kim her own series to go on another power-trip, I'd like to see her trying to make the world a better place and failing. And even in the situations where she does help more people than she harms, she is networking with (and frequently antagonizing) many extremely rich and brutal people, so even when everything goes according to plan, this lifestyle is still dangerous for herself and the people who love her. And in that sense, even if she means well, it's still a selfish goal to pursue.

Them: That’s so so interesting, I always thought that the way BCS ended was great. It was bittersweet. But when I think about it, actually it would be really cool to have an elaboration of Kim. Kind of like El Camino where Jesse got an ending he deserved after all Walt put him through. Even so it is a little jarring to have no follow up on Kim after the end of season 6. I know that morally she is not the best person (as with literally everyone else in the series) but I can’t help but feel she did deserve better despite this. With Jimmy, I couldn’t ever see him going back to being slippin Jimmy but for the opposite reasons. He never really attempted to have any moral compass, in comparison. Which is what ultimately led to his demise. I guess the one thing they have in common is that despite their differences they’re both faced with higher powers and the system that failed them both.

Oh! Do you have AO3? Or do you upload elsewhere

Me: Yes I'm on AO3.

In the new story I'm working on, Jimmy has one job: say no to Kim. I agree he has never self-actualized, so in SK I do have him trying to find his own path. He meditates now and shit.

You can see my fan trailer in my pinned post.

I think he probably would go back to being Slippin Jimmy if Kim told him to, given that she was the main reason he stopped in the first place. But yes, the way I want to write it, even he has roads he's not willing to go down again and would leave her if she ignored his warnings.

Them: So cool :) I’ll check it out when I have time

[divine-misfortune]

This is your excuse, please bestow the gaming thoughts

So since my initial post turned into me writing raindrop being stupid and soft, I'm going to be dropping my more rambly thoughts relating to elden ring in particular here. This is gonna be long, probably-

I think class wise, Rain started off as a warrior - a dexterity based dual wielding class.

I think he ended up getting pretty fond of the twin blades and dropped the dual scimitar in favor of the twin. He strikes me as the type of person to insist that bleed builds are overpowered, yet still use bleed builds because if it works, it works.

Dew laughed at him when he entered the open world and instantly got called maidenless, Rain elbowed him for that one.

Rain also stupidly fell into the trap of the Tree Sentinel, a large man on a horse patrolling the starting path to the first church. You think you're supposed to fight him. You are not. He will rock your shit. Rain got his shit rocked.

Also if you've never experienced it, please know that if you do trigger the sentinel, the music goes from this to this very suddenly and the first time it happens it is an actual Heart Attack seeing this fucker running at you.

Rain's favorite area of the game was Liurnia of the Lakes for obvious reasons.

Like, c'mon look at that! It's a very cool area with a lot of hidden stuff around. He spent so much time exploring all the half sunken buildings and cathedrals.

I think the first time he ran into the crayfish, he thought they were silly and sort of cute but that lasted all of thirty seconds before he got absolutely bodied by three of them at once and lost a hefty amount of runes.

Images taken seconds before disaster:

Now Rain has to kill the damn things out of spite when he sees them. Fuck those guys.

Dew doesn't really follow the lore, and despite Rain explaining to the best of his ability, he still doesn't understand it. But Rain seems happy enough to talk about it, so he'll listen, even if he's confused as all hell.

He DOES however really enjoy the scenery of the game. His favorite area was probably The Eternal City of Nokron.

A place underground with an artificial night sky. Rain idled in this area a lot, just because Dew wanted to look at it a little longer.

The boss fight that Rain had the worst time with was absolutely Mohg Lord of Blood. He got so fucking mad in the second phase where your health is suddenly drained and the boss regains his.

The first time he was fighting him, and that happened, he audibly gasped in offense and yelled "you cheating bitch-".

His favorite fight was probably Rykard Lord of Blasphemy. It's sort of like the games gimmick fight? You get a cool spear out of it.

Also that's a fucked up looking snake.

Both of them mutually agreed Ranni was their favorite NPC.

Dew's first take on her was "she's blue like you-" and Rain couldn't help but laugh at that. It was a little silly, but endearing. It led to Dew adopting the pet name doll, which makes Rain roll his eyes but he's still grinning.

Dew tends to leave the game alone because these types of things are hard but there was one time Rain left to go to the bathroom and Dew got really curious and picked up the controller. Five minutes. Five minutes alone and he accidentally managed to summon a dragon.

You cannot pause these games either. Oh he mega fucked up-

[rattyshipss]

New currently unnamed dreamt up f/o headcanons and playlist:

He's my boss at some new job it wasn't very clear what the job was in the dream so I'm still working that out

Mf conspired with someone I know to help me pay for my years at the position because it was somehow something I had to pay for and a job at the same time, still working that out too

But I might still keep that because in my dream he was so genuinly excited to tell me that when him and the person I knew were dealing with "technical issues" they were really working on getting everything paid for for me for at least a bunch of my years there, it was really heartwarming and I remember but being like "O-oh" and trying to figure out what to say and all of my coworkers laughing at my stutter (Not in a rude way just laughing at how shocked I was)

It would DEFANITELY be a looong mutual pining situation especially with out situation

He was super respectful too like he didn't try to make a move or anything and kept it professional but still cared about me a lot and was really rooting for me/genuinly happy for me and to help me

He'd absolutely be the most protective boss (/Secret admirer) ever after learning about the situation at my old job

Nobody's gonna be able to do shit

Once we do start dating I'm not gonna be able to tell him the name of one of my old coworkers who was involved in the situation and if I ever let it slip he'd immediately store it in his mind forever

If I ever mention anything even slightly worrying about someone like in that situation mf would perk up and immediately be on guard I wouldn't be able to let anything slide past him

That's probably for the best tho

He'd be so fucking annoyed if I kept anything worrying from him too

I can just imagine his annoyed ass face like a mix of this "👀🧐🤨😠🙃"

If we ever got found out for our relationship at work (It would be hell especially since he's my boss holy fuck) he'd defend the hell out of me going off about how good of a worker and person I am and no matter how much they wouldn't believe it he'd make sure they heard him when he said the relationship was real and it wasn't for any of the wrong reasons and that it was worth it

The money aspect in the begining would fuck everything over

Mf would get the absolute most slammed during all of it I feel bad for him

I feel like there would be a hate train on him for AWHILE after that that would hopefully eventually die down at least a bit

After awhile I'd be constantly joking about it too I'd make so many cracks about him he'd be sick of me

For a lack of better words I feel like we'd be the cool couple, like just close and comfortable with eachother and matching eachothers energy being stupid together, also mf looks DAMN GOOD in his loner emo look

He'd 1000% be the type to be completely obsessed with his s/o and worship the ground they walk on

He'd absolutely immediately take in and coparent my rats with me

Pre relationship and post relationship he'd always make sure I ate lunch at work and had an actual lunch mf wouldn't accept fucking crackers

I WANNA GET A PUPPY WITH HIM

His favorite Taylor Swift song is Maroon I feel it in my bones

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Playlist:

+ Prison for life (Unreleased) Olivia Rodrigo and Fantasize (Unreleased) Ariana Grande (There will probably be much more added to this overtime)

I'm very excited about these so reblogs and opinions are very appreciated but obviously not required!💖