#even when i'll be 70 it will always be mama

[godnectar]

Im back!! Ty for the advice, your an angel<3

Daily seal fact:

Mothers and Pups Bond With a Unique Call

Researchers performed vocalization playback experiments on 18 breeding female harbor seals to assess their abilities to recognize calls of their pup and to evaluate the effect of maternal protectiveness. They found that mothers were more responsive to the calls of their own pup than to non-filial pups after only three days. Mother seals' responses also varied depending on their protective behavior displayed towards their pup. And species of seals in which the young are more mobile and the colonies are more dense are more likely to strongly develop vocal recognition abilities

-🎀

It is my pleasure, babe <3 my inbox messages are always open for everyone ♡

[pooks]

He had no idea why he took in the boys as his own, really. He didn't gove himself any moment to hesitate; it was a decision he made in a second and a real man always stands by his word.

After all, he had given up one of his legs to make sure the two boys could survive longer on the food he gave them. But of course, he hadn't counted that the little red-headed brat would be a self-sacrifical idiot and eat lesser to make sure his little brother got fed.

It wasn't until they were past 70 days on the damned rock when the boy suddenly fell ill.

'You stupid brat! Don't you see that your death does nothing but hurting your brother?' Zeff scolded the child in his mind. Even if he'd say it with words, the boy wouldn't hear him as he kept drifting in and out of consciousness.

There was something the boy had said. One thing that raised the first red flag.

"...y'think...i'll see Mama once I'm gone? A sinner like me...shouldn't go to heaven...like she did."

Sinner. The boy called himself a sinner. From the first time he met him on the restaurant ship, the redheaded boy had fought fiercly, defended his little brother, jumped overboard to save him, sacrificed his share of the food for him, collected morning dew for him...and he called himself a sinner?

Zeff later learned the boy's name was Ichiji.

One o'clock.

The sun was high on the skies when they were saved by a ship.

---

They sure didn't look like it, but apparently they were born on the same day. The tomato-haired boy was twenty minutes older than the eggplant.

"Are you twins or something?" One of the cooks at the Baratie had once asked.

Ichiji took a good three seconds before he answered. "...yes." He simply said before he turned on his heels and continued to passing up the tables, fullfilling his role as the little waiter.

The tomato boy smiled less than the eggplant, there was something haunting in his eyes, he never talked more than necessary and he did his chores without a single complaint.

Sanji's temper was like fire, but Ichiji...was like ice.

However, he had only eyes for his little brother. Everytime Sanji nagged about the All Blue and shone brighter than the sun, Ichiji looked at his baby brother with a soft gaze and a slight smile on his usually cold expression. His permanent frown seemed to have washed away...until he was called back to work.

It was alarming to see that kind of behavior in a child; Ichiji had built walls around himself to protect himself. He didn't trust anyone, that message was clear and he only loved one person in the world; Sanji, his little brother and his other half.

The first time Zeff ever saw that smile aimed at him was when he made spicy seafood pasta for the boys' birthday, celebrating them becoming 11 years old.

"It's really delicious." Ichiji smiled.

Apparently Red-Leg Zeff have two sons now.

Ichiji and Sanji. A tomato can and an eggplant.

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Okay, so the other night I fell down a rabbit hole of sorts. I found some post cards that Vincent had written to his daughter and his (ex) wife Mary. I just think they're so sweet. So I'm sharing them here. These do NOT belong to me. So I do NOT take credit. I just think they're awesome. I'll also do my best to translate in case anyone has any problem reading his writing.

This is a postcard he send to his daughter, Victoria in 1965. Look at the hearts he drew at the top!!!! Whyyyy is this so damn precious?! Moving on... It reads:

Dearest Toria - I love my Easter present - your pictures are beautiful but they make me homesick to see you. It won't be long now and we will have lots of fun when we are together again - I'll make you popovers and meat sticks in the fire and will plant a tree on your birthday and have a big cake! My movie is finally going pretty well but I wish I was doing it at home. Thanks Myrna for the letter. All my love, Daddy

This post card was sent to his ex-wife Mary in the mid 70s. By this time, he was married to Coral Browne, but remained close friends with Mary. According to their daughter, there was an inside joke to this postcard (which I never understood - but maybe it's not for me to understand :) ) it reads:

Of course I never saw it - who has? The trip to Hong Kong was endless and I've been working my tail off doing publicity, etc. But still find Hong Kong fascinating even tho it's twice as big and as crowded as before - I overlook the bay to the peninsula now nestled unhappily in a forest of skyscrapers but I hear still good. All my love, Vincent *SIGH*

This post card was sent to his daughter, Victoria and his ex wife Mary Price in February of 1975. Again, he was married to Coral Browne but remained close friends with his ex wife Mary. His daughter once said, "I was lucky that my parents remained friends after the divorce. They wanted what's best for each other and for me, which wasn't always easy because of my stepmother." Which, I could understand her stepmother's point of view, there. But still, it's insanely sweet that they remained good friends.

It reads: Dearest Tor. This is one of the fun things in the great modern museum here in Buffalo. The tour goes well but the weathers terrible. I was 8 hours late getting here but didn't miss the lecture. Love to you both, Dad.

This letter was sent to his daughter, Victoria in 1976. It reads: Dearest Torsie. On my way to Ohio to rehearse Oliver - had a nice talk with your mama who says you're having a ball - I'd love to hear from you and so am sending a couple of cards to write on- do send them in the next week or so as I'll be here until the 20th - but so will you! All love to you! Dad.

This post card was sent to his ex wife, Mary and his daughter Victoria in 1979. It reads:

Dearest M + V (Mary and Victoria) Well it slipped into town and seems to be doing very well though it's very strange management but quite legitimate - a lovely theater and set and nice people but NY audiences are not as vociferous as Denver, etc. still it's nice to be here and I love living in Gramercy park. I walk to work but taxi home. I've decided to do only a few head one nighters as it's too difficult to check everything and play it too. Still love doing it however - All Love Dad

[deeptrashwitch]

Well, I'll start with Soap's boyfriend!

OC: David "Bonnie" Cooper

Nationality: American

Age: 23

Birth date: 7th may 2001 - San Francisco (U.S.A)

Residence: Washington D.C

Profession: Photographer

Height: 1,78 m/5'10 ft

Weight: 70 kg

Blood type: O+

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Homosexual

Relationships

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish (boyfriend)

Carla Cooper (mother)

Samantha Cohen (friend)

Irene Sayre (friend)

Jayden/Cassandra Fisher (friend)

Trivia

-He works together with Sam, actually she and Simon introduced him and Soap during a job near the 141 base. They usually eat lunch together, and he always laugh when she judges people across the street, obviously discreatly enough to nor be noticed.

-Often uses Johnny as a model, and has more than one folder filled of photos of Soap. And he brags about the photos when he's with the rest on a brunch.

-He's the youngest on the group, and met the rest while he was on second semester while they were on fifth (Sam), third (Irene) and sixth (Cassandra/Jayden).

-Every two months David dyes his hair to a different color. Has had blue, green, red, purple and hot pink hair, also is looking for the next color. (He's secretly thinking of dye it blue again 'cause he loves Johnny's eyes)

-He promised to be the best man on Irene's wedding, and also the official photographer for a special price.

-Mama's boy. He's a mama's boy, and Ms. Cooper is the sweetest woman in the world for him. Also, he isn't wrong since the group always make comments about his mother being an angel on earth.

Random quote

"...I don't have enough patience for this. Can you bring me a model who actually listens?!" -said to Sam

When and how they met their partner?

It was during a job with Sam, where they had to be near the military bases on Washington. She used the opportunity to go and see Simon, and when they arrived there, both of them introduced him to the first Sergeant of the Task Force. When Sam and Simon went to talk on another room, he started to talk with Soap.

The main topic was drawing and photography, with Soap really interested on David's quick sketches on a little paper, also surprised when he draw him. Soon he offered Johnny to be his model, but he refused mostly out of a security mattered, even though he felt flustered by the offer. He gave him his number, and make him promise to call him as soon as he was free.

That was the first time he called David "Bonnie", and soon they started to flirt.

[sbrown82]

Marianne falling in love with Keith is so ironic to me, because most of his women fell in love with him or Charlie. Marsha connecting more with Keith than her own baby dad, Jerry who liked being around Charlie even sometimes making Mick jealous, Uschi Obermaier who was a groupie went with Mick first and then got with Keith and fell instantly in love with him. It’s like he connected more with them on a platonic level, but Mick was just a wham bam thank you ma’am type. Also there’s stories out here about Mick trying to talk to Shirley any kind of way, basically Mick didn’t like the fact that Charlie got married so early on in their career and he wanted the public to make it seem like they were all single. So after Charlie got married, he tried to treat Shirley like a groupie and he also did the same thing to Anita as well. It didn’t work though because Shirley is not a pushover and Charlie didn’t allow him to act like that towards his wife.

That's understandable, because Keith actually likes women. When have you ever heard of any woman badmouthing Keith Richards???? I'll wait. Keith respects women a lot, probably because he was raised by women. He'll never dog a girl out like Mick, or cheat on his wife like Bill, or beat girls like Brian. I guess you can say he's a gentleman, but then he also has swag and a lot of girls like him for it. It's almost like he doesn't really have to try with women, he's just got it like that. Keith is literally "Mr. Steal Yo Girl". There's also a really sweet moment in Marsha Hunt's book "Undefeated" where she talks about getting surgery for her breast cancer and Keith sends her a really kind letter letting her know what he felt about her as a woman and a person, and how much he cared about her and hope she pulled through. (Mick could never!!!) Mind you, they just met officially a few days prior to that. Before that, in the 60s and 70s when she dated Mick, she was always kind of scared of Keith and made it a point to never be in the same room with him alone because of his drug taking. But it's quite the opposite with him.

And for the record, Mick tried to get with everyone's girlfriend and treat them like groupies. He even made a move on Brian's baby mama Pat when he stayed over their apartment once. I think she claimed Mick showed up drunk and needed a place to stay for the night and when Brian left to go to work, he put his arm around her, and she was scared. But after that, Mick, Brian and Keith had this thing of dating or trying to get with each other's girlfriends. Shirley didn't play that shit tho. She ain't the one! The only time Mick and Keith ever fought over a girl really, was with Ronnie Spector. Keith said that they almost beat each other's ass over her!

[musicallisto]

Hello love,

Congratulations for the 800 followers! You absolutely deserve this and so much more! I'm happy to see how your blog grows and that you're still providing all of us with wonderful content. You're one of the first blogs that I've started to follow here on Tumblr and I'm so lucky to have found your blog ♡

As for your celebration event, could I please request a 🍨 vanilla milkshake with a male Peaky Blinders Character?

I'm more on the curvy side (and insecure about it) and I'm ALWAYS wearing black (which I love, no matter what others say or even more if they object). As for my personality, I'm a highly complex, paradox and complicated individium. I'm unbelievable patient, timid, awkward, kind, forgiving, open-minded, compassionate, thruthful, gentle and calm and I've been told that I have a calming effect on others, that I can easily ground anyone and anything, no matter how troubled their mind is. I prefer vintage over modern things. I think rather deep which often leads me to overthinking everything, which in turn leads me to doubting (very much) myself. You would be surprised how timid and reserved I am, I'm sure you wouln't notice me in a room full of people if it wouldn't be for my different appearance (but I like it this way). I'm always well-meaning, yet often misunderstood (maybe because it's hard for me to articulate myself). I can be incredible lazy, clumsy and forgetful. I've always felt like I don't really belong anywhere, so I've started to distance myself from others a while ago. I'm a outsider, weird, a dork, not normal, a loner and I fucking love it, because I like to be different, I would hate to fit into just one box and to be like everyone else. And I like people who are not ashamed to be their 100% true self, no matter how different that is from the mainstream. I'm the most loyal person you'll ever find, once you earn my trust, I'll always be on/by your side, no matter what. That says a lot, because I'm hard to scare away. Sometimes I feel alienated from the people and things surrounding me and I'm sure that I annoy and bore them. I'm very nervous and insecure around others, which is why I try to avoid people and why I'm not talking all that much around them (though, I'm a really good listener). I'm easily overwhelmed by large crowds and much light/noise, that's why I don't like to go outside, I prefer to cozy up at home. I would never intentionally hurt a animal and I'm not eating any meat, which is very important to me. I believe that there isn't a ounce of cruelty inside me. I'm unassuming and understanding, I only believe what I've witnessed on my own and I have endless acceptance for almost everything. Due to my Insomnia, I'm a night owl. I have strong personal values, am very opinionated and I'm really in-touch with myself and even though I'm extremly insecure, I would never reduce or change myself and views/opinions for someone and I neither have a problem to challenge authority and advocating for my beliefs. I'm a perfectionist and sometimes I really hate it. And, as you can see, I'm unable to be brief. My favourite colours are dark green, black, gold and dark purple. My greatest passion is music, even if I can't sing or play an instrument.(I prefer rock/punk/pop/80s/90s) It's the most calming and therapeutic thing when it comes to my anxiety and depression and I could never live a day without it. You will never see me in the street without headphones in my ears and even when I'm at home there's music playing almost all the time. I could talk for hours about music and what it means to me. And otherwise I love to watch films and series (I like fantasy, horror, psychological thriller, science fiction and psychological drama and almost anything from the 70s, 80s and 90s). I love rainy days and to go outside while it's pouring big, fat drops. What I love the most is to drive around without a destination, while talking and listening to music. And I love to spend time with my cat, if I could, I would have endless animals who live peacefully and loved with me. I enjoy to have deep talks and to be challenged to think. I love to take late-night-strolls, while gazing into the sky and watching the stars/moon. I have a fascination for dark and macabre things.

I really hope that's not too much? But thank you anyway ♡

Have a good day!

thank you so much for your kind words, you have no idea how much it means to me to know that I was one of the first blogs you followed ;; here’s your vanilla milkshake - and it’s also my first time writing for peaky blinders, but I hope it’s alright; and I hope finn shelby will find the portrait I paint of him accurate enough...

Birmingham was a drab and disheartening place enough without the war adding to its joylessness; but somehow the streets are even worse to bear deserted than when they’re bustling and fetid. Especially for a ten year old boy who wants nothing but to play with someone, to talk to someone, to see someone.

With his brothers off fighting somewhere in France and his aunt too busy with her businesses (adult stuff that Finn has absolutey no interest in attempting to understand), the youngest Shelby has been fighting off an affliction worse than consumption and measles, because much more insidious for a boy his age; boredom

and he’s so sad, so irrevocably sad, with no one to bruise his knees with and throw mud at, that he just aimlessly wanders the empty streets whenever aunt Polly isn’t looking, to find a semblance of stimulation

(he used to enjoy the solitude, it gave him time to imagine delirious stories in fantastical worlds and read the most enthralling of novels, but not anymore. four years of reclusion is an awfully long time for a little boy.)

and it’s during one of his escapades that he first meets you

you’re a little girl his age, dressed in a pretty dress, wearing pretty booties and holding a pretty little woven basket, but your face is stuck on the most grouchy frown he’s ever seen on a little girl, and you don’t walk, you stomp down the wet pavement like a wrathful titan

And it’s probably the first time in four years that he’s been this close to making a new friend, so he walks up to you, despite how rusty his communication skills have become

“Girls don’t frown. It’s unbecoming.”

(Yes, pretty rusty indeed; but in his defense, he’s ten, he’s bored, he’s lonely, and he’s only ever heard Ada say it, and Ada is the most level-headed of his siblings, so anything she says must be true, right?)

“Shut up.”

(Well, if it was unbecoming of you to frown, it’s even more to rebuff someone so rudely. You don’t even spare a glance and continue walking; he has to hurry to catch up to you.)

“You can’t say that. It’s a bad word.”

“How do you know that?”

“My family says it all the time, but they told me I can’t say it.”

“Well, my family is not your family. And I hate my family!”

You’ve yelled the last words at the sky, so loud that the crows on the neighboring roofs have taken off in a startled flight.

“They want to wear this stupid dress to go to the stupid market to buy stupid meat. I don’t even want to eat meat, that’s cruel! And I don’t even want to wear a frilly dress! I want to wear black!”

And in saying so you tugged at the pink and white ribbons that encircled your waist.

And Finn couldn’t help being extremely intrigued at this little girl who said bad words and refused to eat meet and wanted to wear black. It was the most exciting thing to ever happen in all the duration of the war.

“You want to wear a black dress?”

“Yes, but my mama won’t let me. She says it’s too sad because of the war. But black isn’t sad! Black is beautiful!”

“Maybe I could find you a black dress. I’m sure my sister must have one. Where do you live?”

And, loyal to his promise, the following morning he had run to your doorstep and snuck into your house - a proper Shelby talent, to be able to go unnoticed or make a ruckus depending on the occasion - with an old, crinkled mourning dress of Ada’s, that had probably belonged to his mother and had been mended several times

And it was obviously five sizes too big for you and you looked more like a ghost from one of Finn’s horror novels, your arms floating in the sleeves and the hem of the skirt pooling at your feet, but your smile was the brightest light he’d ever seen in this whole damn town.

“Do you like it?”

(He didn’t really know why he sounds so nervous. Maybe it was having a friend, a real friend, and doing something personal for them... or maybe it had to do with how fast his heart beat, watching you in that gigantic, shapeless dress)

“I love it! Thank you so much, Finn!”

From then on started one of the most wonderful friendships Finn would ever have, and what would bring a ray of light to the grim existence of a little boy in the midst of a global war

Despite the ration cards, despite the loneliness, despite the worry that tugged at his stoic aunt’s eyes for her son and nephews across the Channel... he found an unspeakable solace in your friendship

And one day, without a trace, you were gone

He knocked on your door; gone. He asked all the neighbors what had happened to the family that lived there; gone. He wrote you letters and sent them to the confines of England; gone. He got scolded by Polly for marking numbers at random on Tommy’s state-of-the-art telephone; gone.

Suddenly he was back to the bleak existence he had battled with before meeting you, and the hollow inside his chest only grew wider as the days went on, because he had no explanation as to what had happened to you, and worried every single day

Thankfully, the war ended not long after, and his brothers came back home, all alive and unscathed - well, for the most part

Fast forward more or less ten years, and much has changed in Finn Shelby’s life and in old Birmingham, but the memory of you still stugs at his heartstrings

One evening, he’s tasked by Arthur to run some errands, send a few messages, scout a few places; the most dangerous thing his older brothers will ever let him do

His task leads him to a bar in the center of town, one that pours its joyous light and music into the street outside; he’s there to meet with a client, arrange a meeting; nothing he’s hasn’t done already

But the evening takes a turn for the unexpected when he recognizes the girl sat alone at a table, enjoying the musicians’ jazz with an air of pure bliss on her face

It’s been ten years, of course, but... it’s unmistakable. That face, that silhouette, and the black ensemble from head to toe... and he’s always had a knack for remembering faces, especially those that mark him deeply

Suddenly he’s frozen on the spot, and he has forgotten why he came to the bar in the first place, what his target looks like - all he knows is you, and how beautiful you look in the dim light of the bar, and the undisclosed and unknown feelings he had for you at the time come flooding back.

Except this time, he understands, and he fears them, because he doesn’t have time for any of this, and it’s way too dangerous for you and him

But he can’t just pass you by and not say a word?

He swallows, hard.

And walks up to you.

“Y/N?”

You open your eyes, and your face flashes with recognition, and a little bit of pain as well. Even if you fled without a word, and left him hanging all these years, he’s incapable of rancor

“Finn... wow, you’ve changed so much.”

“You haven’t.”

He gestures at your face, your clothes, how you savor the music like the finest drink in the world, and you laugh and blush, sending his heart into overdrive

“Where were you all this time?”

“I’m so sorry, Finn... my brother died in the war, and... my mom sent me to live with my grandparents in Scotland. We were all destroyed by grief... I needed to get away.”

“Without explanation? Not even a word?”

“I wanted to write to you, so bad, but... I couldn’t remember your address. I couldn’t remember anything about Birmingham at all...”

He nods, slowly, in understanding.

The war opens wounds that never heal, even after all the most beautiful friendships and love stories in the world.

“But I’m really glad I found you.”

His heart is pounding in his throat. Maybe it’s a sign of destiny that he found you here, tonight, alone, and ready to welcome him back. Maybe it’s a word from fate, that you can never truly be apart.

So he takes the seat in front of you, and you smile, that shy but bright smile of yours, and he forgets all about his mission, his client, and his brothers.

They’ll have to understand.

800 follower sleepover

[blorbosexterminator]

AND I am back. Once again on this lovely day to give my review for the EPISODE 24 so, here we go :

Agustin is squinting his eyes at him, as Sergio keeps muttering that Agustin has in fact done what he just mentioned he did and which both of them have known for years. 

Federico is 99% dead?! Damn, what is Sergio's gonna do?! Make it 100% ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(I got a feeling that Federico is the kidnapper or atleast a very important lead to them)

Btw, WHO IS FEDERICO?! Tatiana's alive husband?!

(Look at me, hoping like a moron she aint dead

My dog : Yep, total moron 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Me :

Me : NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR BITCH-ASS OPINION, YOU DUMB-FUCK DONKEY!!!! 😡😡😡)

Martin, my darling, my sweetheart, my poor angel. Nada, some help? Atleast gimme some tips, bruh, come on, you cant desert me like that. Not when I need to help someone 🙁🙁🙁

since, drunk, the last idea he got was that Laura turned out to be completely insane and kidnapped Andrés to marry him

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Martin, honey, stop drinking. This getting out of hand 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. But then again, Andres is so hot poor thing keeps on doubting.

As Roci said in one of the tags, his wives deserve the highest civilian award for putting up with him.

(Although, I just had a frisky thought. What if Sergio wanted Andres away from Martin, not because he cared bout his hermano but......😳😳😳😳😳 *whispers loudly* he wanted Andres all for himself? In *frantically looks around* INCEST WAY?!)

(Calm down, my deranged mind, you went too far 🤣🤣🤣)

Who knows, it could be the professor he punched in the middle of an exam once. Martín doesn’t think he has forgiven him.

Mood, bruh, such a mood 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 NO, OMG 😆😆😆 I didnt do it, but I do kinda have a beef with my Organic prof. I'll go off tangent again, so tell me if you wanna know the story.

He sent Silene in disguise to collect the cctv from the nearby shops and streets. His own cctv has been disabled since the IT bitch ruined it, Martín will kill him when he gets them back.

I think if and only IF Silene finds something good, her % of redemption will increase.

(Raquel s2e7 deja vu, I see what you did there 😏)

And Martin about to go John Wick on anyone & everyone. I tell ya Keanu Reeves will be crying when he sees Martin go nuts. I am willing to bet he'll pull a gun on the poor milkman, who just wanna do his job 😆😆😆

So he calls Bogota, with a little (not that little) handwritten list in his hand with the names of people he thinks he might have ruined their life in the past. 

Martin : Okay, I'll just take out the list and

*the paper rolls out the door, travels around the world for 5 times and comes back while going over top of Everest and bottom of Marina Trench*

No, it’s because when he hated Martín, he had always hated him openly. If he wanted to hurt him, then he’d just try to stab him in the middle of the living room.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Bogota, did Tatiana have any family?”

“No, who of us did, Martín?”

“You literally have 7 children and 7 ex-wives.”

COMEDY GOLD, NADA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Those kids are ungrateful bastards, if I fall dead tomorrow they would just run to see what they’ve inherited.”

Aka THE PLOT of 70% Indian Telenovas 🤣🤣🤣. Also this line alone has so much soap opera vibes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He has no choice but to go to fucking Sergio Marquina. And if it’s his wife, then even better. Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. 

For fuck sake, Martín, Ive been telling you from last 2 ep

Stop. Blaming. Raquel.

Also, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 damn, these 2 assholes cant keep away from each other. Nada, are we sure these 2 married the right people? As much I am a Berlermo ship stan, this here is just smth else 😆😆😆

Uh-oh 🙁 this asshole son of a bitch just poked the mama bear. And if ANDRES of all people narrows his eyes at you, You are, quoting Martin from last ep, truly, utterly, entirely, thoroughly and wholly fucked.

“Do you know him?”

“Oh yes, a childhood friend, I stole his pencil once and he never forgave me. Have you heard this Paula? Don’t steal your friends’ pencils, they will never get over the betrayal. You could steal the teacher’s ones though.”

“Why did you steal his pencil?” Paula asked seriously, with a delirious tone, and too tired to even move her head upwards. Raquel is gonna kill every single person involved for doing this to her daughter.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Sassy Andres = Best Andres. Words that should be written with GOLD. Wisdom passed onto generations

Poor Paula 🤣🤣🤣 I just imagine this in some other situation :

Andres : *saying smth smth*

Paula : *taking notes & asking questions*

Raquel after seeing her daughter :

Look what you made me do

🎶But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time

Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined

I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!

Ooh, look what you made me do

Look what you just made me do🎶

(Look what you made me do by Taylor Swift)

I am telling you Nada, by the time Raquel will be done with everyone, Uma Thurman will cry buckets because no one, okay?, no one can compete with A MAMA BEAR RAQUEL MURILLO.

“Poison is a woman’s choice of weapon, Anibal. Don’t be disrespectful.”

Again, words of wisdom. Only time hes not being a misogynist.

Also, Andres, my dear, are you speaking this from experience?

(Why do I think that Martin got Tatiana killed cause she poisoned him and Martin had to watch Andres fight for his life in hospital?)

“He won’t say anything, Mama. He’s the one who kidnapped grandma with Silene!”

Is anyone gonna listen to her? Or do I need to bonk Raquel myself? 🤦‍♀️

“Silence!” she screams. “I need to know everything that happened, if we’re getting out of here alive.” 

FINALLY!!!! SOME COMMON SENSE!!!! WE THANK THE LORD FOR MERCY!!!

And as for me, its time for me to say goodbye and goodnight (Cause its quarter to 12 rn in my watch)

AND ILL SEE YALL TOMORROW 🤗 BYE!!! 🙋‍♀️

I'm back as well! And we've finally caught up with each other.

Valid reaction. Sergio is also slowly going insane. Love that for him.

He's hoping he could. We all know this family has beef with that last one percentage.

(we'll see👀👀👀)

Hope is all we got at this point afabgs.

Now, now, don't speak to him like that. He has valid criticism.

I'd help him if I could, but alas (lmfao no, I do love them suffering)

Same recommendation. But he just, poor boy, could nothing to think of. So might as well be Laura. (also fair, who knows, maybe Andrés gets constantly kidnapped and forced into marriage)

Definitely, she's 100%. I really don't know how they do it.

Avsnsjsvjshsjs all theories are valid. Maybe Sergio does want Martín or Andrés, who knows what goes in the head of that fucker.

Seems like an interesting story! I never got along with my chemistry teachers. (Got one once to tell me that he's still not kicking me out of class only because he feels bad for my parents that they have to deal with me and they'll be the ones who will have to deal with the mess lmfao.)

Yes, have some faith in her!

100% accurate. Martín is this close from just shooting random people in the supermarket because they also could be the ones who kidnapped Andrés.

HAHAHA YES. This is exactly how the scene went.

We stan honesty in this house.

So happy you found it funny!!

I can confirm! Like 70% of all Egyptian drama as well.

I don't think he's hearing you well. But afnajscsgsh SAME. Okay look, now I really understand show runners with super homoerotic ships that they refuse to make canon. You try and make two male characters hate each other so much for plot then it slips and gets homoerotic.

Totally agree. This guy isn't making enemies with the right people (they are all dumb, but also none of them have anything that even resembles a moral compass)

Totally agree. This guy is honestly super amusing to watch and it's mainly because he's incapable of taking any situation in life seriously.

This family is really iconic. (love the song agsnsg) but also like Raquel would basically tell her after writing done his notes just put the title on top: things to never, ever, do.

I believe you! They really fucked with the wrong dumb family.

I mean, he's still a misogynist. Maybe some of us really like dagger, has he considered that?

That's as valid theory as any right there.

Hopefully Raquel will finally start listening to the child!

Raquel is the only one with a semblance of common sense.

Hope you had a good sleep! I'll see you tomorrow!

[glamrockmonarch]

Brian wouldn't be amused by the way I start my sentences...but oh well!

So I was browsing as one does first thing in the morning...and I saw this beauty of a post. Which was so short and precise, straight to the point...everything I am not. Naturally, I thought to myself "thats so cute!" And then I got hit by another post by someone else (I cannot find it, my app reloaded AHHH! TUMBLR MOBILE APP HELL!) where I saw some soft pictures of Joe with children...So...

I present to you:

Baby Fever: an AU

Aka a side project for this fine blog to forever be too much for me.

It's a series where I will just let out some steam from my soft soft heart in the form of writing about Daddy!Ben, Daddy!Gwil, Daddy!Rami, Daddy!Joe, and why the fuck not: Mama!Lucy. All in the same AU for my personal enjoyment!

And we're starting with Joe. Enjoy!

Second Time Around

Summary: You and Joe have a complex relationship, friends to lovers? Ah, yes? Now married for four years with a two year old boy to call your own, things lately have been busy for Joe, and you have put a hold on baby no. 2...Or have you?

"Joe?" You somehow manage to open the door while carrying the bag full of groceries.

The day has been menacing with rain since early in the morning and you knew you had very little time to get around your chores before it started pouring. You also had a busy night ahead of you, with the baseball on tonight, you know your husband will definitely want to cuddle with you and watch the game. Hence the beer and frozen pizza still in your car.

"Yes?" You heard two voices, different in their entirety coming from the hall.

Looking up, you felt a little helpless; struggling to keep the bag in your hands as you tried to make your way into the open kitchen space. Peaceful as ever Joe came into view in one of his sweatpants and a shirt, your beautiful little boy perched up on his hip giggling at Joe's beard that he kept playfully rubbing against his son's soft cheek and nose.

"Dada!" He wiggled in his arms.

"Obviously the one that goes to the gym and allegedly carried 70 pounds on Monday!" You huffed on your way past them.

You were just so drained from all energy you really needed Joe's help.

Joe gave baby Joey a look and rushed to say hello to you, as he had been busy that morning and didn't get to spend much time with you other than breakfast and that short moment when you kissed his lips before her drove Joe to daycare so you could get a head start on everything.

"Here, I'll get those," Joe said as he handed you Joe and let you take a breath.

You enjoyed those little moments when everything fit in so well. Joe was your best friend before you started going out romantically. You knew he had his history with other women, and he was a few years older than you...but you came to see him as something else. Joe seemed to realise you were all he ever needed and wanted at about the same time; it was a matter of weeks before you were official, after years of friendship but anyway: you moved quite fast! And it never felt like it was happening that fast at all, nor that you needed to catch to something. It was your own pace and it worked perfectly for you.

Now you ask Joey about his day and smile at him as he goes on and on about what he did at the day care today and what fun he had with Dada after he picked him up.

"Oh, you got invited to a party?" You opened your eyes wide.

Joey giggled and nodded while Joe came in through the door, kicking it closed behind him as he handled every remaining bag. Kudos to him: he didn't drop a thing.

Joe gave his son a smile and turned to you, acting as if he had been smelling around.

"I think we have a visit from Stinky, babe."

Joe pinched his nose once he put everything down on the counter.

You giggled and looked at Joey, who did need a shower but still acted as he was wondering who Joe could be talking about.

"I'll get started," you nodded up at the ceiling and Joe got it, starting to put the groceries in place. "Don't be late, captain!"

You took your son upstairs and ran the bath for him, making sure you had all his toys. After you tied your hair up and you got Joey undressed to put in the bath which he enjoyed very much.

"Mammy, do the thing with the shampoo!" He jumped around in the tub.

It was as if that was Joe's cue, he walked in then and made his way to the two of you.

"Alright, little man...that's Daddy's gig!"

You took a step back and let Joe do his thing, fooling around with Joey during bath time, not that you didn't join in...

And in fact it was a fun part of your day, laughing with your two favourite men in the world as Joey giggled with the towel wrapped around his little body.

It was safe to say that Joey was out as soon as you got him dressed in his pjs, this was maybe one of those moments that were simply yours regardless of Joe being home or not: your baby will always prefer being safely wrapped in your arms as he doses off to sleep. And that's exactly what he did while Joe read a bedtime story to him, which your little one didn't pay much attention to.

Finally, you sat with Joe downstairs in the living room wearing your comfy sweats and a tank top, sighing and laying your head on his shoulder you got around to watching the game. Joe wrapped his arm around you and held you, he could tell there had been something on your mind for the past couple of days but he knew better than to push you onto talking: you would talk to him when you were ready and that was more than okay.

"Joe?" You finally let out.

"Yes, YN?"

Joe played it cool because he didn't want to sound too eager to listen but he was curious and he was starting to get concerned.

"I'm pregnant."

The game was still on when you blurted the words out, regardless, Joe straightened up and turned to you. You sat up right as well, turning to him.

"You...what?"

Joe seemed to go pale, he knew you didn't want to have a baby at the moment, he was working more and he would be away from home for a while that year. You talked about it and agreed you would wait till next year...and yet: here you were sitting next to him looking some kind if way.

Joe examined your expression for a second and he knew what he was seeing. You were not scared, you couldn't be! You've done this before. And you were not mad either, a baby would never be a reason to make you mad... You were worried. You had every right to be, because you knew the struggles of pregnancy and you knew how hard and how easy some things had been even with Joe by your side so knowing now that you would be doing most of the journey without him and with Joey to care for was placing questions and worries in your mind.

"The doctor told me on Wednesday." You explained, "7 weeks."

Joe opened his mouth in astonishment, he didn't expect this news at all, it had only been a few weeks since you switched from the injections to the pill. He expected something else like you wanting to tag along for the five month shoot he was going on in July. He covered his mouth with his hand and then reached out to hold you, his arms wrapped tight and secure around your sensitive frame.

"Babe, that's wonderful!"

Joe kissed the top of your head to sooth you, he was already starting to feel his heart swell with love for your little baby.

"Yeah..." You mumbled on his shoulder and held on to him for what he felt was the longest he held you ever. "But I'm worried you'll miss most of this." You pulled away and put your hand on your still very normal not-pregnant-looking belly.

Joe gave you a side smile and brought his hand on top of yours, his thumb caressing your knuckles.

"YN, I'll find a way. Promise."

You looked into each other's eyes and although you didn't want to, you let out some tears. Which Joe quickly wiped away, kissing your cheeks he grabbed you and held you closer to him so you were almost completely laying on top of him with your head on his chest.

"You looked so pretty in those maternity panties...can't wait till they come back out!"

Strangely enough, Joe really did enjoy touching and holding you when you were pregnant the first time. He would always hold your hand at least, but mostly he loved to spoon you and run his hands all over your baby bumb all the way till the end of your pregnancy. He wasn't going to lie, he also quite enjoyed having sex with you during that time, it seemed something less kinky and more intimate than usual.

"Joe..." he made you giggle, which was his goal.

"Wait, does this mean I get to grow a dadstache?"

"Joe-no." You put your hand on his chest.

"Joe, ah-yes!"

Baby Fever Masterlist《《

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

He has me pinned, his arms hooked under my knees, his palms flat against the wall...hunched over so I don't hit my head on the ceiling. We are fully clothed and his reasoning is that he just wants to prove to me that he can and always will be able to lift me. He's been lifting me, carry me, having me play parrot on his shoulder since we met.

"She likes to be tall!" He told his mama as she chastised him for manhandling me when she was visiting, like he was saying it about a cat that likes to chill on top of the fridge. He's not wrong. But I know that about four months from now he's gonna have to put me down for a while.

"I gained 70 pounds with Red...and stuck out pretty far. You're even bigger than Jeremy so this kid might be fucking huge."

He sets me down and smiles at me.

"Show me. Red's got a soccer ball in his room..."

What the fuck? Aw hell, why not?

I'm fishing around in Red's room for the ball while Eli stands in the doorway. I find the ball and stuff it into my tank top and he looks at me extremely fondly and have I mentioned that I think marrying him was a really good idea?

"Stop...don't get all gooey."

"Right, sorry. This is for science and not for telling you how much I really fucking love you."

I stop in the hallway, and let him try to pin me again. He obviously can lift me still, but repeatedly gets soccer ball'd in the face.

"What else, caveman?"

So we end up in the living room, on the couch, in a lewd pantomime of what his favorite use of the new couch has been...giggling over how ridiculous it is, how dumb we can be sometimes. Again, he's bapped in the face, and shifts us around until he's crammed into the corner with his bottom half off the couch entirely.

"If I stop skipping leg day and if you don't mind not being able to kiss during, this might work."

He takes the ball out of my shirt, shifts up until his ass his actually on the couch, moves me until I'm straddling his hips and then just...doesn't do what I think he's winding up to do. Instead, he pulls me down until I'm laying on his chest and just wraps me up in his arms and squeezes. Not hard, but enough. He's like a weighted blanket in a human suit and I immediately start getting a little sleepy.

"Did I ever thank you?"

"Hmm?"

"For making me a father...three times now." We haven't talked about the miscarriage in a long time but we can't not now...it feels like something that can't be hidden away anymore...it's not like we can forget it anyway. "It counted for me. I felt it...something we will always have together even if it's gone. It counted."

He doesn't stop me from crying, doesn't try to negotiate or shush me. Doesn't offer another kitten if I just stop. He just holds me through it, like he's held me through everything else but I still apologize.

"I'm sorry that it didn't...that I couldn't..."

His grip on me gets soothingly tighter.

"No...listen to me. I promised the rest of my life to you, and that's just how life is sometimes. But I'll here, no matter what."

[deeahhnuh]

2018!!

I've done this year-in-review thing since 2007! 2007-2012 are over on my old LiveJournal, and 2013-on are right here on my Tumblr. :)

2019 is coming. What?!?!?

Happy almost New Year, Tumblr! :)

What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?

Huh... I don't think I actually did anything too different this year! Well, this review is off to a great start, lol!

Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

As usual, no real official resolutions - I like having little goals as the year goes along!

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes!! My cousin had a precious baby girl!!

Did anyone close to you die?

My grandmother - Ma - passed away in late November. It's difficult to articulate, mostly because I just can't quite comprehend it yet, how much I will miss her. Ma was the biggest, warmest presence in our family. All of my memories have at least some trace of Ma in them!

One memory that I've recalled a lot lately is of the times we played my Barbie board game, sometime in the late '90s. There were so many wonderful times, but those Barbie game nights with just us girls - Ma, my mom (her daughter), and me - were magical. I would set the game up on the dining room table at BaBa (my grandfather) and Ma's house and we would play and talk and laugh! Ma was in her early 70s then, but her peals of laughter and her face lit up with smiles gave me a glimpse into what she must have been like as a teenager.

That was Ma!! ❤️ She was always up for having fun, for reminiscing about funny memories, for enjoying life. Ma was there for every big event and for all the quiet moments, too. I feel incredibly fortunate to have had Ma for so long into my life. I love her, and I miss her.

What countries did you visit?

None! I really need to get out more, lol!

What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?

Of course there are things I'd like to have, do, and learn in the next year - but I'm happy to say I didn't really lack anything in 2018! :)

What date(s) from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The end of November and beginning of December were marked by sadness and loss, but also with connection and love - my family really helped (and continue to help) one another through a hard time. I feel closer than ever to my fam. ❤️

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Been a Registration Assistant for two years now, and I love it!! Less real-lifey, and actually very goofy - I hit (and passed) 10,000 scrobbles for the year. I haven't hit that kind of high number for a while, so... Achievement!

What was your biggest failure?

Didn't do anything too stupid this year, haha!

Did you suffer illness or injury?

No, yay!

What was the best thing you bought?

I love fragrances, so my fave purchase this year is, of course, a perfume! Calvin Klein Euphoria Amber Gold just smells soooo gooood. It's rich and sweet, kinda syrupy - really beautiful.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My family. The mama, the dad, the bro - they are so awesome. We're always there for each other - I love them more than words can say!!! ❤️

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No one really! I've been pretty even-tempered all year, haha!

Where did most of your money go?

Probably perfume, lol! But music is right up there, too. Maybe movies as well! Basically, entertainment!

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Kylie's new album, Golden!! Actually, a few other music faves had new releases too, and I was hyped about them all - Richard Ashcroft (Natural Rebel), Florence + The Machine (High As Hope), Lykke Li (so sad so sexy), Emika (Falling in Love With Sadness), Sarah Brightman (Hymn), and Arctic Monkeys (Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino). Great music, all year long!

What song will always remind you of 2018?

List time!

"Dancing" by Kylie Minogue. Of course! My queen returned with a lovely album this year (see above!), but this seemingly simple first single had to grow on me. I say "seemingly simple" because at first listen, it is! Guitar, stripped-down beat - where's the glitter? It's in Kylie's voice, in how she declares with gusto: "When I go out, I wanna go out dancin'!" A quietly bombastic grower.

"Breathe" by Jax Jones. Catchy and bouncy!

"One Kiss" by Calvin Harris feat. Dua Lipa. Breezy fun!

"In My Mind" by Dynoro & Gigi D'Agostino. Hypnotic!

Compared to this time last year (2017), are you:

Doing really well, kinda like last year! :)

What do you wish you'd done more of?

Quoting last year's year in review: "wish I'd listened to more new albums, and not just compilations." But I loves my dance music comps so much! :O I really think I'll try to listen to more new music in the new year.

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Not to be too serious business, but doubting myself. I worry I'm not doing enough, or not doing it right, or could have done it better. I guess a little self doubt keeps you on your toes - keeps you challenging yourself - but I'm happy that as I've gotten older and a tad wiser, and gained more confidence in myself, these worries have lessened. So this year, I did doubt myself, but not as much as last year, or the year before. Here's to an even more confident 2019! ;)

How did you spend Christmas?

Fam, ham, and fun! :)

What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2018?

I managed to not embarrass myself all year, haha!

How many one-night stands?

None, lol

What was your favorite TV program?

Forever a fan of goofy cartoons!

Real Housewives! All of 'em are wonderful trash TV. :) (Gif source!)

And for no good reason I watched every season of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! on Hulu. Cracks me right up!!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?

Put-together and polished, I like to think!

What kept you sane?

Lots of music, movies, and TV. Always up for some entertainment!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Nah!

What was the best book you read in 2018?

Ooh, just got a New Year's Resolution for 2019 - read a book, lol.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

I rediscovered some old faves! "Love Today" by Mika has forever been pure joy, "You Can Dance" by Bryan Ferry can't be any smoother, "Spirits" by Jamie Woon stays majestic, "212" by Azealia Banks still slaps, "Reagan's Skeleton" by Yeasayer continues to be massive, and "Watch Out For This (Bumaye)" by Major Lazer is always a banger.

What did you want and get?

Lots of good things - I'm very fortunate!!

What did you want and not get?

Nothing! Like I said, fortunate. ❤️

What was your favorite film of this year?

I didn't see many movies released this year, but I did really like Ant-Man and the Wasp!

And A Quiet Place!

I also saw Midnight in Paris (2011) after years of meaning to - it's such a lovely film!

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

32! Little fun things - used CD shopping (a fave thing to do), movies, good meal...!

What three things would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Can't ask for more!!

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I've never watched American Horror Story because it seems pretty spoopy and I'm a wimp, but I was going around the channels and that guy who plays the Antichrist lol - Cody Fern - caught my eye. He fine!

What political issue stirred you the most?

There's something new stirring every day, ugh!

Who did you miss?

Ma. ❤️

What is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018?

Family matters - not the TV show, although that's good too! I already knew this, but I really really felt it so much this year. ❤️

What quote can be used to sum up your year?

"When I go out, I wanna go out dancin'!" No matter what's going on, I want to try and have a good time and enjoy things! Here's to a 2019 full of goin' out and dancing! :)

[bitchfromthecrypt]

So....

I’m just gonna start posting chapters of my book here, cool? Cool.

Anyway this is my first chapter, I’m gonna post them in order with headings and shit.

Hopefully you all like it! And sorry about clogging up the tags!

Criticsm is always welcome and greatly appreciated!!! I’m a new author and 99% of this I’m just making up as I go lol

A widdle synopsis:

Sometimes, life doesn't go quite the way you’d expect.

Death however, never goes the way you’d expect.

Melody Adler; daughter, mother, widow.

She was a woman of many words, and even more talents, a kind soul who strives for the very best at every turn.

She longed to one day move her mother and daughter out of her rundown apartment, far away the hustle and bustle of the city.

Unfortunately, none of that matters because she's dead.

Melody woke up in the middle of an empty field, left with nothing but her new diary, her memories, a whole lot of questions and no one to ask them to.

At first she couldn’t tell if she was in hell or heaven.

Then she met Her.

And it all went down hill from there.

———————————————————————

Anyway, here’s the second draft of the book that has taken me five years and probably one more to write,

This Book Belongs To: Melody

Entry One

My dearest Valerie,

Let me begin by saying this, you are the love of my life, my heart, my soul.

The day I had you was the best day of my life.

You, my love, matter to me more than anything else in this world and I know grandmama would never let you begin to think such a thing, but regardless, I need to tell you, I would never willingly leave you.

Baby, sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Sometimes, there’s no real rhyme or reason and all you can do is take what god has given you.

I wish there was some reason for this.

I wish someone would descend from the heavens and tell me exactly what I did to deserve this.

I was raised well, that's for damn sure.

Sorry baby, excuse my language.

I've never done any drugs, I listened to mama, I read my bible, I went to church and I did everything I could to raise you right.

Why am I here?

Was I kidnapped?

I don’t remember it.

I don’t remember anything after walking you inside.

It's about 70 degrees, overcast here.

All day, every day.

Until the sun sets.

If the sun sets.

When the sun sets, this little world gets so much brighter.

It brightens until the dense pine needles on the packed together trees look like tiny black specks, until the dew on the grass glistens like stars that shouldn’t be as close to you as they seem to be, until the only way to prevent yourself from being blinded is to tuck your head in your knees and cover your eyes so tightly you see spots for hours, as you somehow still manage to feel and see the bright red heat through your eyelids.

I've no clue where the light comes from.

I haven't seen the sun, the moon, or so much as a cloud at all.

Not once.

It's all so empty.

The sky, the woods, the trees, empty.

The only live things here are the grass, about a football field's length around me, and the ring of trees surrounding it.

I wonder if I'll ever be able to smell anything other than pine again.

What really makes it harder to sleep at night is the silence.

Back home, at night, you hear car alarms and sirens, and loud jazz for each and every hour of darkness.

You never realize what sounds lull you to sleep until they’re gone.

Even then, I went to the countryside, once, I know that it isn’t meant to be so silent.

Why, I couldn’t sleep a wink down there with all the crickets, foxes, and raccoons and what have you.

They spent the whole night chirping, hollering, rustling through every bush they could find.

The country isn’t quiet.

Not like this.

See, that's why I know this place isn't human.

Isn't mortal.

This huge forest full of places to hide, and hunt, with admittedly strange weather, but no civilization whatsoever?

I should be fighting off wolves for a blade of grass to sleep on.

And yet, there's nothing.

No one.

It's just quiet, deafening quiet.

There's no animal on earth that can hide well enough to not be noticed for this long.

I hit my head the other day.

Three days ago, maybe?

I'm not certain, I didn't think to bring my calendar.

I had climbed to the top of a tree, I was trying to see if there was anything in the distance.

The trees are tall, frighteningly tall, why, they must be ten stories high.

They don’t touch.

It’s like they’re a barrier, surrounding me, caging me in.

Out in the forest it’s different, much, much different.

Their branches are all tangled together, like one big knot.

There’s barely an inch of light that squeezes past the wiry little needles.

A cage in every sense of the word.

I climbed as far up as I could go before the branches were too thin to hold my weight and still, all I saw was forest for miles.

And miles.

And miles.

I think that was the moment I knew I couldn't leave.

All I could think about was you, baby.

You’re gonna be six years old soon, you’re gonna be a big girl, Val.

Grandma will take care of you, I know that.

It doesn't stop me from worrying, I doubt anything would.

It didn’t stop me from picturing you, sitting there and staring at your birthday cake.

Thinking.

Wondering where mommy is.

I passed out.

I woke up as I was falling through the trees.

I saw the ground beneath me, getting closer, and closer.

I tried to reach out and grab a branch but I couldn't quite grasp any of them.

I could only feel my body hit the rough branches as the pine needles that had looked so close to normal seemed to pierce my skin.

I couldn't stop.

I knew I would die.

I thought of our last christmas.

The look on your face when you opened your present to see that doll you’d begged me to get you for weeks.

The way your eyes lit up, as that little gap toothed smile grew on your face, it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

The way your little arms wrapped around me as you screamed in my ear about how happy you were that Santa got your letter.

I knew you’d stopped believing in him a while ago, the fact that you’d pretended for my sake nearly made me cry.

I wanted you to be the last thing I thought about.

Then I woke up.

In the middle of the field.

Staring out into that circle of pine trees.

It was nighttime, and I didn't have a scratch on me.

I thought, for a moment, that I had hallucinated.

After all, I hadn’t eaten a decent meal in a while.

That’s when I realized, I hadn’t eaten since I got here.

I hadn't been hungry, or thirsty, or tired.

I hadn’t felt a thing, I hadn’t lost any weight, I’m completely and utterly unharmed.

Valerie, little valerian, I love you.

And I love you too mama, I’ll miss you both more than you can ever imagine.

But I’m not alive anymore.

And there’s nothing I can do to get back to you.