#even when I'm deranged about other shit i keep him in the back of my mind

[overchromatic]

bitches love me for my Allister doodles

[stagtorccio]

in case you write for shauna……i have a thought hmm

okok so basically she actually ends up going to brown and meets reader there - who’s practically jackie taylor reincarnated!! like very outgoing, similar style, kinda snarky but also very nice, you get the drift

they end up dating and sharing an apartment and living their cute life but our girl shauna is STRUGGLING

maybe maybe she even has r meet tai or smth and tai calls her the fuck out for it

i just wonder what thoughts you have about it

OH THIS IS WILDDDD i love shauna being crazy as hell... shauna getting out and having to go to boring-ass college because what the fuck else is she gonna do, and meeting alternate universe jackie taylor... fuck

HELP ALSO MY BAD MINORS DNI I SAID SOME FREAKY SHIT IN THIS

shauna hates college. really hates college. it's funny how the one thing she wanted more than anything before the plane crash almost feels like a punishment now. she was a queen, and now she has to write essays? what a bunch of bullshit

she meets you in ENGL 100D. matters of romance. go figure

well, she doesn't meet you, exactly. not until she's over her period of staring at you like she wants you to explode

because you're just. like. her. down to the mannerisms. the laugh. the stupid bunny rabbit twitch of your nose. the snark. even the slightest gesture of your hand reminds her of jackie and it makes her want to crawl out of her own skin

you're convinced she hates you, because what the fuck?? why is this scary brunette death glaring me in our poetry seminar??? send help?? but she's just half yearning half resenting and fullyyyyy unchecked and mentally ill

you get paired for a reading. the lais of marie de france, bisclavret. story about a werewolf and his lover. doesn't matter to shauna- because firstly she thinks you're typical popular girl ditzy and secondly she doesn't want to talk to you

but then fuck, you bounce up to her with a notebook and bunch of glittery gel pens, talking about how excited you are to work with her, and she can't keep holding a grudge against you for just sort of being her dead best friend come back from the grave to haunt her

so she works with you. and okay maybe she stares at you sort of awestruck as you read bisclavret like you're genuinely invested... waxing on in a dramatic voice trying to make her laugh

until you get to That Part

"It's true, more than all the world I love you. You should hide nothing from me, nor ever doubt I'm loyal in any affair. That would not seem like true friendship."

and fuck you remind her so much of jackie it makes her SICK ethel cain style

but also she's shauna. she can't help herself. girl's got zero impulse control. so she asks if you'd like to start hanging out more than just for school because that's such a great idea

and apparently, the one difference you and jackie have? you can actually admit you're gay

because "hanging out" turns to making out turns to you and shauna getting an apartment together a short drive away from uni so you can still make it to your morning classes

shauna feels actually deranged for it. doesn't stop obviously. just writes in her fuckass journal. countless entries about how you look just like her. talk just like her. are just like her.

it always comes back to that first assignment you got paired for— because bisclavret is a tragedy. the lady swore she would love the werewolf but when she found out what he really was, she ran away in fright and wouldn't see him anymore

which, fucking mood for shauna. so things start to spiral

she's obsessive. always trying to protect you, never letting you leave by yourself, and AB SO FUCKING LUTELY never letting you be cold. if you even slightly shiver she whips off her jacket and every other layer and bundles you up until you look like a penguin

she sees you as a second chance, but also as a bitter reminder

you call her "shipman" once and it sparks the only real fight you've ever had— like screaming yelling lashing out fight

you cry obviously because what the fuck shauna???

shauna also cries. apologizes and kisses it all better (doesn't admit that she kinda likes kissing it better.. that's freak for thought)

doesn't usually slip up— but just once she mumbles 'jax' during sex

you don't hear it and thank fucking god for that because imagine trying to explain it

she takes you to meet tai eventually because tai is the only one who's consistently kept contact with her and is still one of her best friends

and boy does tai clock that shit IMMEDIATELY. the first word out of your mouth is "hiya" and she just looks at shauna like 'what the actual fuck.'

"You can't be serious." Shauna's jaw ticks. She crosses her arms, looks anywhere but Tai's face— which is currently stone-set like the world's most disappointed, judgemental statue. She opens her mouth. Closes it. Tai practically balks. "Shauna," she says. Then, with the continued silent treatment from the typically ever-mouthy, ever-opinionated Shipman— "Shauna!" "Fuck, just— it's not like that, Tai," Shauna hisses, trying to be quiet, lest you hear their spat from where you've gone to the bathroom. "Then what's it like?" Tai prods, poking more holes in an already sinking, flimsy defense. "Because it looks like pretty fucked up to me." "I love her," Shauna replies, like it's that easy. It isn't. Tai's lips pull taut as a bowstring. "No, you're obsessed with her because she's practically a carbon fucking copy, Shauna—" She doesn't get to finish her argument, because the flush of the toilet and the door creaking, signaling your return, silence her. Good. Shauna figures she'll need the bathroom soon anyways. She doesn't think her lunch will stay down for much longer.

it's safe to say shauna doesn't take you around tai much after that. tai is always silently judging though

my bad i yapped a whole lot for this one BUT THIS IDEA IS SO INTERESTING... I LOVE IT

[uraniumbones]

For those of you keeping up with the book of Bill and it's accompanying website and the bill cypher backstory. THE PARALLELS GOT ME FUCKED UP.

Spoilers incoming.

people love to talk about the dynamic between Stanford and Bill. Sure, interesting. But you know what people aren't talking about? Stanley and Bill. Specifically referencing the website (thisisnotawebsotedotcom.com)

If you input Stanley a bunch it will eventually open a new document instead of eBay pages. The page mocks Stanley and reveals his secrets or whatever. One of the clickable options on this page is "HOW HE BEAT ME". Each time you click into this is an increasingly deranged meltdown about how it shouldn't have been possible. Calling him a "cheap trick loving, past-denying overgrown child protected from failure only by a force field of denial and shamelessness" among other things. And when further pressed accuses you of acting like "those PREACHY INFANTILIZING AUTOMOTONS AT THE THERAPRISM who are SO OBSESSED with getting me to TALK about my "FEELINGS"." After that he spirals further eventually talking about "how much pain I'm in" and only in code admitting "I can still see through the eyes of everyone I've ever..." presumably killed.

If you don't know shit about Euclydia read the wiki page on it, it's not long. tldr Euclydia is bills home dimension, which he destroyed and killed every single inhabitant of in blood and fire. He did so (accidentally?) in an attempt to show them the third dimension which (because of a genetic mutation) only he had the ability to see (with his eye). Please also note when Stanford asks about his home dimension Bill says it was"destroyed by a monster".

In the website's many documents it repeatedly makes reference to Bill's parents and how much they loved him, his home, his childhood (he wore velcro sneakers it's actually incredibly cute), the ways in which he was different and not easily accepted.

Now knowing all these things. A pattern may emerge to you. Are you seeing it? Are you seeing the patterns yet?

Obviously Bill hates Stanley because he's stupid and still he somehow beat Bill. That's annoying, maddening even. But I believe it goes beyond that. He hates him all the more passionately because Stanley reminds him of himself. The poem at the end of the Stanley password on the website summarizes it best "always dragged his family down / One mistake, disowned, denied, / only thing to do was hide." Destruction of his own family, running and hiding from his own mistakes. "Reinvent, retry, reload" trying again in a new life. "When your actions make it worse, / When they see you as a curse," Making things worse where you have tried to make them better. "Give the wheel one last spin, / Take your chips and go all in" this is what weirdmagedon was for both of them. and this is where their lives differ "And lucky stan- the rolls on black, / he got his life and family back. / His big break it finally came, / Redemption from a life of shame." AND THERE IT IS. Stanley got his family back. Bill didn't. (Which is what it seems he was attempting). Stanley got his redemption. Bill didn't.

Stanley was a lonely kid fuck up just like Bill was. And he absolutely hates Stanley's guts for it because he hates his own guts for it. And all this time they're the same, just trying to fix those mistakes, to have their family back again, to be loved again. They both have this facade of untouchable aloof levity, the same insults Bill hurls at Stanley may as well be hurled at himself. "Protected from his failure only by a force field of denial and shamelessness"? "Cheap trick loving, past denying overgrown child"? You can see Bill goes from being outraged and insulting Stanley, to denying a deeper meaning to those feelings (and calling you a therapist), to talking about how much pain he is in (seemingly over all the people he killed in Euclydia), all without any specific prompting. Just pushing. Bill is the one that connected those things. Bill hates Stanley (at least partially) as an act of self hatred. Because he has made the same mistakes and can never forgive himself for them. AND (at least partially) because Stanley is not only just like him, but now just like him if he had succeeded. Stanley got his "Redemption from a life of shame". and in so doing actively prevented Bills.

Now do you see what I'm saying about THE PARALLELS?!

[diagonal-queen]

Omg you're backkkk<3 I hope uni's going well for you!

Maybe the Hunting Dogs with a s/o who's kind of mean/petty?

Hunting Dogs with a mean S/O

♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura (platonic), Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How are the Hunting Dogs with a mean and petty S/O?

♡ cw: Swearing, u r a BULLY >:((, dw it's pretty chill though, non-graphic NSFW with Jouno, teensy bit of NSFW with Tachihara, mentions of violence, crime and torture

note: ahhh hello yes i'm back! uni's pretty great actually. i love being able to tell people i go to law school lmao, it makes me feel smarter than i am. uhh but i've been swamped and a bit busy, and i'm going back home for a week so i might not be super active over the next couple weeks, i'm so sorry my babies </3 but i'll still be lurking in case you wanna chat! as always, apologies for errors and i hope you enjoy x

Fukuchi:

Mf you think he cares?? He hired Jouno and Tachihara because they committed crimes, and he's more than happy to keep Teruko around. Bro doesn't give a FUCK that you're mean

If you're dating Fukuchi you clearly do give a shit about the welfare of society and world peace, so your individual quirks are just that. Quirks

He will fully let you just be a dickhead sometimes, because...like, why not?

I feel like Fukuchi is obviously often a very intimidating individual who strikes fear and commands respect from everyone else. But you? You just walk all over him

In some ways for him it's probably kind of refreshing to have someone around him who doesn't idolise him at all, or look up to him as a superior. It gets exhausting, for sure. Sometimes he just wants to be humbled and that's so okay Fukuchi, you deserve it actually /mean-spirited and condescending

Don't get me wrong it's not like you're an abusive partner! You're still obviously nice to your partner and you love him, but you definitely don't go out of your way to sugarcoat things or try to avoid any necessary confrontations

And Fukuchi genuinely really respects that about you. He's pretty similar like that, though still definitely goofier than you

I mean he won't want you sitting around with an RBF when he's at formal events and whatnot, because that really wouldn't have the best impression, but he's usually very gung ho about letting you be yourself

You're lucky he loves you man...lmao

Jouno:

He loves it. Full stop.

You two are just sadist central over here. Like he'll be torturing a suspect and you're just watching. Bored. Not a care in the world

(Jouno, I don't think you're legally allowed to invite your partner to watch you do your job- much less one like this, but...eh...)

You two are always just talking shit about people to each other, and like when you're out in public on dates you're just whispering to each other and judging people T-T

Lowkey kinda gets turned on when you guys argue. He thinks it's hot when you get heated and angry. Usually it ends in rough "passionate hugging", and the pillowtalk is when you both actually resolve the issue (dumbasses)

He might even purposefully rile you up sometimes because mf is just THAT much of a horny degenerate. You guys can call him classy and gentlemanly all you want, but we all know he's secretly deranged

Like an angry, horny goblin with a knife...someone stop him

Tbh you should probably bully him a little bit every now and then. I think he needs to be taken down a peg sometimes

Hey, he's more likely to listen to you than Tecchou, isn't he? Besides, it's nothing genuinely malicious. Just couple's banter

Oh, you guys are fucking LEGENDS at the couple's banter. Though you never do it in public, because a lot of the times the things you both tell each other as jokes can come off as really cruel jabs

Nah your senses of humour are just not family-friendly (violent and malicious)

You guys have very strange ways of showing your love and affection. But, hey, it works for you and that's what's important :)

Tecchou:

Ah yes, arguably the least meanie of all of the Hunting Dogs. Yeah uh he doesn't really like you at first

Tecchou doesn't understand being mean just for the sake of it. I mean like, for Teruko, she uses it in her career, and Jouno is sadistic and weird and also uses it in his career. You're just petty because you can be

But the more time you spend together the more he realises that you're really not that bad- you're really just more of the loveable asshole type

An acquired taste, yes, but this is Tecchou we're talking about! That's his thing!

He learns to appreciate the things about you that many others would probably consider flaws. He influences you for the better definitely...

...BUT you also kinda make him worse

He will adopt your 'deal with it bitch' attitude sometimes, but it doesn't hinder his relationships or work so it's fiiiiine

(Jouno isn't a huge fan of it though...but at the same time he kind of respects you)

Tecchou probably won't admit it but he really likes to listen to you rant and bitch about people you don't like. He just likes to listen to you be angry about trivial things, he finds it equal parts endearing and entertaining

If you're mean to someone who deserves it? Well I mean...who is he to stop you?

At the end of the day you're definitely emotionally self-sufficient, so that's one less part of you for him to fret over. All's well that ends well or some shit idk

Teruko (platonic):

You guys are literally the best of friends

She's the loud fiery kind of mean and you are the 'I will straight up meticulously ruin your life' kind of mean

You on some r/nuclearrevenge type shit and she fucking loves that for you

Like she's fully willing to plot and scheme with you and do whatever mean shit you suggest. You two are menaces and she should absolutely not be a military soldier

Teruko WILL smite your enemies. And by smite your enemies I mean she will actively do what she can to ruin the lives of people you don't like, with absolutely no remorse (pretty sure she actually commits crimes to do this)

She LIVES for your cruel one-liners and clever insults. Every time she hears one she absolutely hollers

Teruko enjoys it when you're mean to the other Hunting Dogs (except Fukuchi). They can handle a couple bitchy words so it's not a huge deal, but she's just extra amused by it

For the record you're not *mean* mean, you're just...humbling them (which let's be real they could use from time to time (Jouno, again, looking at you))

Nobody is surprised by your guys' friendship really

You're a dangerous pair. Please stop

Teruko kinda likes that you hold grudges so frequently because she'll never tire of hearing you shittalk the same exact people and events over and over again

She'll shittalk them too

Dia doesn't approve of this friendship

Tachihara:

You guys know that scene in B99 where Jake says that he can't decide if he's scared of Amy or turned on by her and then decides that he's both? Yea, that's Tachihara with you

He is a good person at heart, and outside of his mafia gangster persona he's really not that mean, and as such he does not encourage mean behaviour. But like, when you do it? Mm...

Bro is WHIPPED

Lowkey he probably gets some of his mafia persona ideas from you 💀

His mafia coworkers have no questions about how you two get along, and they generally like you. The other Hunting Dogs have a few more questions

Tachihara isn't some shy, quiet introvert, but he is generally pretty chill and a nice person. They like to playfully tease him about how different the two of you are (though if it gets too far he knows he can count on you to rip them a new one with no issue)

Dw they still like you though! Especially Teruko

He has absolutely no problems with you for being cold and blunt. It's nothing he himself can't handle, and in some ways it actually makes talking to you easier

Again, I'll stress that you're not mean to him, you're just not the most lovey-dovey person out there. But you DO put effort in and that's what Tachihara cares about, even if it isn't in a stereotypical way

If anything else, you're certainly loyal!

Tachihara loves you for all of your different eccentricities, and he's also kinda turned on by them. Win-win? Win-win.

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

On Your Six

Warnings: dark elements, stalking, violence.

Another sidequest complete (...or maybe you want more of this one? Let me know your thoughts!)

You have a second shadow. You're not alone. While your pursuer has given themself away, you're in no rush to do the same.

You keep going, slinking from pillar to pillar, balancing your target with whoever seems to have made you one. You keep your back to the wall as you grip your pistol, one ear listening ahead of you, the other behind you. You dip back into a pool of darkness and shuffle your foot to make it sound like you're running, let the noise peter off as you wait

A figure smoothly turns the corner and you stand unseen in the alcove. Shit, you know that goddamn strut. Even when he's trying to be covert, he's a dead giveaway.

What the hell is Hansen doing here? This isn't his kind of job. Unless you're his assignment.

You watch him creep past. He slows as he listens to the silence, stopping completely. You raise the barrel of your gun towards him as you tiptoe out from behind the pillar. He hisses into a cackle, raising his hands.

“Take it easy, toots,” he faces you slowly, “we're not enemies here.”

“Aren't we?” You approach with your hand steadied against your forearm.

“I'm just watching your six. Like a nice guy does.”

“Hansen,” you walk to him until you have the barrel to his back, “what the hell are you doing here? I'm not splitting the fee and I have no problem wasting a bullet in your ass.”

“Oh, I love it when you talk dirty,” he gives a dramatic shiver, unfazed by the gun between his shoulder blades.

“This isn't an open bounty,” you snarl.

“Toots, if you're not gonna use that thing, put it away,” he turns to face you slowly, “at least, that's what I've always been told.”

You shake your head and scoff, lowering the gun halfway. You sneer at him in the darkness and huff, “why are you getting in my way? Again.”

“Again? What– are you talking about San Paolo? I'm flattered you remember–”

“I nearly lost an eye.”

“Really? You're looking good, toots–”

You close your eyes and exhale through your nose, “I don't have time for this.”

You sidestep him and continue down the pillared walkway. You keep along the wall and stop as you sense him following once more. You pull back and holster your gun, just as swiftly slipping free your knife. You spin to bring it just along Hansen’s throat.

“I'll tell you one last time,” you hiss.

“I'm helping–”

“I told you, you're not getting a cent.”

“Trust me, honey, the view is worth it–”

“You are–”

“Deranged. Devoted. A total bottom.”

You bite down another snipe as the stone pillar beside you cracks and powder puffs in the air. Fuck. You dip into the shadows as Hansen shoulders past and raises his gun. Two shots before he crams into the alcove next to you

“Really?” You sneer.

“Tight fit, babe, but always figured it would be,” he chortles as he squints into the darkness. “Think I got th–”

Another shot silences him. You wonder if he's hit but don't really care. You duck down and switch out your blade for your fun. You creep along, listening to the approach of those that pest has drawn in.

You weave in and out of shadows, zeroed in on the echoing footsteps. The first silhouette falls before your silenced shot, the second doesn't notice his comrades collapse until it's too late and he joins him on the stone. The third you don't spend the bullet and use the but of your gun against the back of his skull.

You hear a scuff and raise your gun. Hansen waves and pants as he appears once more.

“Got one,” he puffs proudly, “damn, look at that.” He marvels at the bodies heaped around your feet, “you work fast, baby.. I'm more the type to take it slow.”

“Ugh,” you scowl and turn away.

As you do, you hear Hansen barrel towards you. It's too late for you to get your aim. You dodge as best you can as the rifle levels across from you only to be bowled over from behind.

You hit the ground as a shot fires and Hansen grunts. He fires back and the man lands on the rifle with a rattling gasp.

Hansen hisses and drops to one knee, grasping his side as he wheezes. You sit up, check your gun, and stand. He should've stayed away.

You flinch as suddenly a loud thrum cuts the night air. Fuck. You look above as the helicopter rotor whirls loudly. You harumph and kick a body near your feet.

“Fuck.”

“Don't worry, baby, I can take you on a nice vacation, you don't need the bounty,” he sucks in air and stands, “I got you.”

You look at him and scoff. You sneer and bring your gun up, aiming at his ass as you fire. He yelps and falls back down, grasping his rear. You shake your head and mutter.

“Fucker.”

You spin and walk back the way you came. Dimwit better get the hint. Next time you'll aim higher.

“See ya soon, toots,” he calls after you in a strained grit, “probably in my dreams.”

[the-mpreg-guy]

random miscellaneous thoughts (during the pregnancy edition, numbered for convenience):

1.not sure exactly when in s6 to put the jack time travel conversation and subsequent impregnating, very open to your thoughts here. I do think it should be before 6x11 when sam gets his soul back, because I want dean to have to deal with pregnancy hormones and soulless!sam at the same time (and he can’t even drink to cope because that’s Bad For The Baby!)

2. every interaction with Samuel Campbell is even more of a nightmare for dean in this au (if they can’t keep the pregnancy under wraps, which they maybe could?). he was already calling dean gay and a woman for living up the heterosexual suburban dream with lisa in canon lmao

3. crowley inevitably would find out about the pregnancy and the comments he would make would be stellar. someone’s gotta make the “you’re not just cheating you’re cheating on your heavily pregnant wife” innuendos and it’s gonna be crowley

4. In addition to keeping his dealings with crowley under wraps Cas is also trying desperately to keep the nephil baby he’s making a secret from all the other angels both on his side and against him so there’s even more secret keeping

5. I really cannot get over how good dean being 3rd trimester pregnant with Cas’s baby during tmwwbk is. The drama!!! I think if I were making this as an episode of tv I’d adapt the watching dean rake leaves scene to include Dean having a bonding moment with Ben or something for parallels. but like! dean can invoke the baby during his “you’re the closest thing i’ve got to family” plea in bobby’s living room! (replace the “you’re like a brother to me” line with something along the lines of “I’m having your baby”). also I think some of dean’s romantic feelings would bleed through a bit more and be more heavily implied

6. When exactly is Jack born? Maybe dean goes into labor at the end of 7x02 and has jack at the start of 7x03? Like just replace the broken leg bit with him breaking out of leviathan controlled Sioux Falls general hospital with his newborn baby. This also works nicely because there’s the 3 week hiding out in Rufus’s cabin time skip to let them adjust

My inbox unate this ask finally so I get to answer it! Yay!

I agree that Dean should get thrown into the baby adventures during the worst possible time that it could happen. Him and Cas also being at odds bc Cas doesn't want to put Sam's soul back, but Dean does WHILE the whole baby shit is going on? YEEEAAAH. I am curious how s6 Castiel specifically would react to a) the presence of a nephilim and b) that nephilim being his.

I don't remember if we're transing Dean's gender, omegaversing it, or future Cas and/or Jack is like LETS GIVE THAT CIS MAN A UTERUS, but any version of it is a nightmare for Dean being around Samuel because like. Yeah. Yeah they microaggresed that man for leading Thee Most heterosexual life he possible could have. Samuel "is it gay to fuck a woman" Campbell would be AWFUL about pregnant Dean.

Oh god yeah, this would be pre-Winchester Derangement Crowley too, so he'd ALSO be insane to Castiel about it (in our s10 of this au he's actively throwing up bc HE wants to be the baby daddy but thats another post)

Cas at this point is playing Heaven, Hell, and the Winchesters and its SO SPICY. All the more reason now to keep Dean out of the loop on things bc he doesn't want to endanger him or the baby. All the more reason for him to make concessions and compromises to his morals.

The Destiel Divorce in the living room would be actually insane. Canon version of this scene goes crazy, because to me atp Destiel is very clearly not entirely aware that their feelings are romantic (I think they're both aware of the sexual tension and have been since s4 however). Add a baby to the mix? I'm not saying that there's minor babytrap vibes, but Dean does invoke You Are This Child's Parent So Sit Down And Level With Me. And yes the entire scene is romantic as fuck.

Yeah I'd have Jack be born right before s7, because it would be SOOO INSANE to have Dean with a newborn right after Cas dies (s13 parallels) and Sam is going Literally Insane AND IT'S CAS'S FAULT.

[fudanshidoublevision]

Double Vision as a father.

Ray better kill him before Double puts his bloody claws on MC and even thinks of forming a family with them. /j

Dude, no, imagine being his CHILD, i feel sorry for anyone who has Double as some type of...paternal figure, LMFAO.

Experiencing parenthood isn't on my “to-do list”. Plus having a child, on this ECONOMY? I'm good.

Parenting is a humbling experience, my parents had taught me AND told me that. Well, that is certainly my fault because I was the devil reincarnated when I was a kid— but they still call me their little devil so not much has changed I guess. ( ͡°з ͡°)

But in this scenario...even if the circumstances aren't ideal, I believe that anyone can do their best if they really want to, it's not easy. It isn't the children's fault that their parents are so troubled. (meaning, if their progenitor is Double Vision in this case, lol)

I've discussed this with my best friend once, a long time ago and they said something about how Double will view his child as a possesion and extension of himself (and yours too, because he would only care about that kid just enough 'cause you are attached to them), i kind of agree with him. But, I mean? If Double Vision has kids with MC, wouldn't that mean he is fond with the idea of having kids? I haven't mentioned nothing about him being capable of “baby trapping” you because everyone else is disposable to him but you aren't. For all he cares, he only needs to held you tight by your throat to remember that he only needs you, he doesn't want or need someone else. In this scenario, your child was planned and wanted.

Even if you loved your child, he will be uncapable of loving them back the same way you love them but he wouldn't be uncaring, dude is deranged and a major bad influence. Mostly because of the way he is and taking in consideration the fact that his parents were emotionally and psychically absent when he needed them around, it's not an excuse considering how in this similar scenario Ray didn't had NO good-present parental figures on his whole life but wants to try his best, it just kind of explains why he acts and why would he act like that. I'm not saying that Ray would be perfect at parenting a child just a bit better than Double for sure, not gonna lie Double gives me “crazy-unstable uncle” vibes.

He is not right in the head, neither i am but hey, this is not a competition for who's more deranged, so...someone has to be the relatively-stable and emotionally available parental figure. (Meaning, YOU.)

Just sane enough to not make a mini Double 2.0. Who can be worse.

He would care...and “love” (the way he “loves you” is pretty different) his own child his very particular way. Yeah, he would be cruel and a piece of shit to you but just a tiny mean and highly authoritarian towards his child.

me if our kid ever asks me why their father fucking SUCKS at giving advice and why is it always has to end up with someone getting hurt:

"Mini-me, if you ever need adivice, you can open up to me and say whatever is bothering that little head of yours. Keeping some ugly thoughts to yourself isn't good, whatever it is, I'll never judge you and you'll never scare me off....What about your dad...? Eh, he...just isn't the best giving out advice. Some people aren't good with their words...and tend to say things that are bad, sometimes it's better to do...whatever you think is right instead of following what others may "advice” you but you can always double-check with me to know if you are doing the right thing.

Why, you ask? WELL... what about if we just...OH, what if we go out for a bit? Would you like that? I'll buy you whatever you want. ANYTHING! Just...dont tell your dad, okay..."

It's sad but it's not easy to explain to children why their mom/dad/parent acts or behaves “weird” or is incapable of doing things their other parent can do.

Oh well, i believe Double's kid wouldn't question what their dad tells them to do or say because...that's their father, they don't know any better than what their parents tell them.

Double's parental skills aren't the best; he is driven by his own emotions and he is the definition of what impulsivity means. He doesn't care much about consequences and who he might hurt to achieve what he wants and what he NEEDS. (You, again, for example. He obliterated the previous Night Crew members because of your “disappearance”. He may or may not broken someone's bones and mayyybe, just maybe! I think... he threatened some people here and there to get your location.)

I thought that maybe he would use your own child as a weapon to tame you so you'll do whatever he says. Emotional manipulation and conditioning...not even that poor kid is safe from that, Double is VERY MUCH controlling and overprotective. No matter how you behave, he stills wants you but of course, he loves a defiant behavior but he can't deny that he enjoys it when you "make things easier".

After all, parents will do anything for their children, right? Oh well, I'll be guessing that you'll do that for the sake of your child. Sorry if I'm wrong.

It doesn't really matter how that child appeared or how they were conceived and brought to you two to form a family. Those little details don't matter, you'll try your best, right? No matter what. You don't have much of an option if you are with Double, I guess. ಠಿ_ಠ

But I have the feeling that this freak will be overjoyed if the kid, shares your and his blood and genes. Just another thing to reaffirm his ownership over you. I don't think he will be capable of harming his own child, psychically, I mean. Maybe he WILL threaten you and say he'll hurt your kid when you “act feisty” so you'll give up.

Double Vision wouldn't be jealous at all of his child if they take all the attention from his most beloved possession off him because they aren't simply a bit of a threat to him and that kid is just trying to bond with you, i don't think Double would even bother to get in between of the parent of his kid and his child. Unless it is to annoy you or just be insufferable, as usual.

I like the idea that he underestimates what his child is capable of doing, lol.

For my own mental peace, i didn't added details like “what if your child had abilities?”. Because I have the feeling Double will be up to NO good with that little piece of information.

But let's just sit and think about it, either way, if your child is an ability holder or not, doesn't really matter if Daddy Double is around. Anything is possible and who is he to deny his child's wish to follow his daddy's step? Villainy, I mean, lol.

He would be overjoyed and proud his child wants to be a villain, like his parents. Well, he still is a villain and MC is not longer in the business because of Double, LMAO.

If you'd like to enter a more dangerous territory well, what if his kid wanted to become a hero? Not even an option, haha.

It's not like they have one, being a villain or just a regular citizen, no child of Double is going to become a hero on his guard. He will be very open about his distaste on the wish of his child wanting to be a hero, he might be ticked off by that.

Maybe he is usually cold-headed when he interacts with his own child, I think it's enough with him having you in edge constantly, at least he wouldn't behave or treat them the same way he treats you. Even though, there are times that his patience runs thin (when annoyed or angry, not entirely directed towards his child) and could say some concerning things that his child may take to heart.

Parents knows best, I've heard from a certain someone say before.

Now, what if that child grows? Woah, they are going through the terrifying, horrifying, traumatizing, horrible phase of adolescence! Amazing, worst years of my life! ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ

They are slowing growing into becoming an adult, they might realize how different everything looks when you are a bit...mature, you become more aware of what's going on around you. They will notice about how some behaviors from their parents aren't normal and not what they seemed, I'm specifically talking about Double Vision but you get it.

Maybe they will develop a rocky relationship with you but I believe that no matter what they will still love you and care for you, maybe you'll become their favorite and appreciate more the way you cared for them, who knows. Maybe they will hate you because you didn't tried enough and had to choose Double Vision as their shitty dad (I think it's for the best if they didn't know the reality of your situation 😁), they will grew and distant but who knows...?

About Double, I have the feeling that for their own sake they'll ignore his dad's existence as much as they can, Double is aware of that and doesn't care that much but I won't deny that he might be annoyed by that and oh NO! They ended up being just like you and Double is going to pick on you for that and even say that is your fault why they hate him so much.

Maybe it's for the better if your kid ended up being more like you rather than Double.

Double is an only child so i believe that he'll only want one single kid but I don't think he would be opposed of having another one but MAYBE, just maybe, no!

But there's something I believe that everyone can agree on and that's on the fact that Double looks so fucking HOT with grey hair.

And oh my FUCKING God, his gloves? You can see his tattooed sleeves and his neck? I feel like a Victorian man seeing a woman's ankles for the first time. I want to break his senile back.

Conclusion, could you have kids with Double? Absolutely, will he be a good dad? Questionable but most likely, not. I think he might be like his parents, he exists but he isn't a reliable person for his kids, it's kind of difficult to come a conclusion because he is so complex to me, my opinion on him is always ever-changing.

OH YEAH, you and your child might be the only ones besides some of your family members who probably meet him wayyyyyy before, a long time ago, that know his real name. It isn't that relevant but one of the most important things a kid has to know it's their parents name and last name, right? Not that Double's real name is going to be used as much as you might think.

I wrote this solely because I had a dream where Double Vision was my uncle and he lived on my grandparents backyard??? Sick and I just wanted to post this because I spent three days of my life writing this and then chickened out.

This post in particular wasn't proofreaded (at all) by my friends that usually encourage to post my dusty drafts.

I hope you liked it, I might add some things to this post in the future...

Anyways, Haley bae is next. Maybe even Binary Star because I think having kids with him sounds scary, if you are aware of WHY ARE YOU having kids with him on the first place (canonically speaking).

How would Double actually act if he ever had a kid: /j

I had this video on repeat playing in my head while writing this.

[voidedsoul5]

OKAY HERE WE GO, ANALYSIS AND THEORY TIME.

Spoilers for the new TMP episode (Ep 8)

NOT ONLY did we get my babygirl back (Who definitely has something going on with him but we'll go back to that later) we also got another hint about one of my other working theories about Celia and this universe... I am losing my mind rn and I need someone to talk to about this even if it's just screaming to the internet void. More below cut. Split it because it's a semi-long post.

I think Gertrude is for SURE coming back at some point, literally no reason for her not to especially considering I don't think TMP team is going to pull the 'But this time she's actually just an innocent old lady' thing. It's cheap, and she likely knows stuff that will come up later when (I believe) she still has worked at the institute before it burned down due to her age. Plus, someone had to have cleared out those files.

Gerry is happy and it makes sense. Gerry in TMA was trying to be a kind person, but he'd witnessed too much and seen too much to be able to do that. In this world, if the fears didn't exist Mary would've likely not been AS deranged. OR mary might not have existed at all given Gertrude claimed Gerry as his grandson. Removing Mary, Gerry really doesn't have a reason to be so reserved and abrasive. HOWEVER. I think there's a possibility that isn't his actual personality. The happiness (as mentioned in the unofficial transcript) is maybe a bit too played up. I wouldn't mind if this is just how he was, a slightly erratic messy artist. But pairing him specifically WITH gertrude in this universe stood out to me. So here's my mini theory.-I'm not saying it's drugs, or Gertrude is casting black magic or something, but I do think she's doing something to keep Gerry out of this 'mess'. Even if that's just living with him and helping him have a normal life as a painter. Gertrude has always had a soft spot for gerry in TMA, in this universe where she's probably not as battle-hardened, trying to keep him safe and out of it all isn't out of character. Mostly, this idea just came from the fact that she tried to brush it off, then seemed disappointed when Gerry spoke about the gifted kids program, despite him being well enough able to speak for himself. She probably doesn't want him involved. This however all relies on the context that Gertrude knows stuff. Honestly, she might just be his grandma that he now lives with either for rent reasons or because his parents might be dead. It could honestly be that simple, I just like rattling off ideas.

CELIA KEEPS DROPPING HINTS OF KNOWING SHIT. SHE KNOWS SOMETHING. SHE KNOWS THINGSSSS. I have another post about my TMA theory of these reoccurring characters from TMA beginning to remember things from the TMA world. Its so incredibly on the nose for her to immediately start asking questions about the 14 fears WE KNOW, ask about alternate universes, AND BE THE ONE WHO PUSHED SAM TO LOOK INTO MORE STUFF ABOUT THE PROGRAM (Sam said it was her idea at the end of Ep 8) I don't know exactly how thisll work, but I get more and more convinced each episode that this theory has some merit.

And this is a small one, but blah blah Norris reading a paper about loneliness, isolation, and hostile architecture blah blah blah metaphors symbolism blah blah you get the jist

I rlly just wanna talk about this show to anyone, I don't have friends who've seen TMA or TMP so my only option is talking about it here. PLS feel free to talk about your own opinions and ideas in reblogs and shit. I don't care if they counter mine I just wanna talk about this show I love it sm </3

[i-am-chaos-no-one-can-stop-me]

Sooo I'v recently gotten badly into transformers and have a few ideas I'd like to share before the hyperfocus fade

So I'm just gonna list some of my things and you'll tell me if it interest you:

First fic: (12 chapters planned)

(Co created with my gf's help, @transmorfers, ideas and character)

Plot:

Lena Anderson, in her scrapyard near detroit found a sparkling in a pod. With it a message of a bot asking to protect the child, instruction on how to and a mention of a war. Soon her two workers will find out and help her and Later own she will meet Starscream with who she will have a deal: she accept to repair him when needed IF he keep this place secret and answer her questions that are axtually mimi's hidden.

Each chapter is a different character pov but mostly Starscream, mimi and Lena. The characters are here to heal and reflect on themselves so they can fonction and raise that damn kid. The plot 1 is to find out who are this kid's parents. (Kind of obvious if ya see the child but I'll try to make it mysterious help how do I aven do that?)

Tags:

Starscream redemption arc, Passed Megoplita,Flashbacks, our takes on how the war started, our non sexual take on how transformers reproduce, Continuity soup✨, Human oc and sparkling oc, Mostly hurt and confort, Found familly trope go brrrrr, The begining of the story has almost no transformers in it except lil mimi (chapter 1), I have yet to decide if it will be a xoc or not but if it is I assure you it's not here to be centric.

Long ass chapters and I'll probably post it on ao3 once I have entirely finish writting it because I don't want to have people start reading it to find out I have never finished.

Based on tfp, tfo and g1 mostly with things from other continuities

There is two plots:

Starscream usual shenanigans and trying to work on himself

And Who da fuck are Mimi's bio parents??

Also the war is playing behind and more we go throught the chapter the more the context and lore is explained...

Or at least I hope it will be- that s the first thing I'v actually gone this far to write.

Second idea

Would Make a great ask blog and is a crack au I have:

I want it to be some mystery blog of someone claiming they are Starscream stuck has a human wihtout memory and slowly trying to puzzle back what happened to them and how they ended up like this by using the internet. So it would be set in yet another one of my takes of the tf universe (juste mine this time) and you would help him find help and all.

I have no idea if it would interest people and even tho I paid two bladder for 3 years in artschool I still canwt draw for the love of me. So Genuinly I don't know how to do this shit but if ya'll are interested I'll find a way because it would be hella funny to write starscream in stupid human situationa nd trying to find out what happened to the transformers.

The last idea

Another long fic, with mimi in it too and set in tfp to be completly honest, compared to the first one that I enjoy writting, this one plag me. I don't know if I could write shit for it but maybe short comics of scened in the story if I manage to sit my ass and draw.

Would probably be better has a fic but I feel terrible about the trauma I gave those bots. So

the plot:

Tfp Starscream had enought after Megatron went too far and so he flee. Rogue again he try to plead Optimus to accept him has an autobot since it would be his last chance. Optimus for some reason decide to give him a chance and give him a few day to prove himself.

Tags:

It would ne dead dove. Starop, Megatron is genuinly derange in this story, Orion and megatron were together and their story ended reeaaally badly, Starscream doesn't really realise how fucked up his relation ship was with his leader but isn't clueless either he just deams it. The heavy topocs are retailed by the characters and relived because I cannot write all that shit down again. Heavy hurt but definetly comfort Everyone hates him in the autobot base in order:

Arcee wants his head for cliff, bee is genuinly scared since the cog thing, bulkhead distrust him and Ratchet pity him.

Optimus fall hard and is to me someone who love easily. Starscream think it's just an act and casually accept that it could end anytime and Prime would snap. To me it feels like a slow burn but in a way that it takes them time to be healthy. They wilm have a happy ending together and a kid but taht story is heavy and important to me but I feel like I won't do it justice.

In this au, the tf biology is more akin to how the fandom depict it: interfacing forge and all

Okay so now the triggers:

Heavy abuse, rape, carrying, mechpreg, loss of sparkling in a horrible way (I'm still crying fuck you c.ai for that horrid but so perfectly tragic idea), death, suicide talk, no real suicide attempted but Starscream is not okay.

Definelty a dead dove story and since I haven't actually wrote things before this feel too much to write but that story genuinly plags me. I donwt feel like I am in the roght place to write about those topics (I'm not a victim of abuse) but I know that sometimes it helps people when written correctly. I just don't know if I can write about it. Technically I am allowed but do I feel like I can? No not really.

This story is starop and mostly intrusive throughts, mixed with conversation with c.ai (sorry) has I was playing Starscream to practice the character. Of course I won't use the convs in my writting. Anyway, I genuinly wasn't expecting such an horrid story in rp that I just deleted the conv and now I'm plagued.

[soulmatess]

Broo please update your LAWRUSSO fic!! I have exams and it's the ONE thing keeping me from crying about my exams. No rush btw I just NEED MORE SOULMATE LAWRUSSO CONTENT. I love when Johnny doesn’t want to cooperate and neither does Daniel BUT somehow they always end up together and I LOVE the counseling part AND how much they need each other to be happy/energized but don't want to need each other. I also love how Lucille forces Daniel to try and be nice to Johnny. Omgg I LOVE THE WHOLE TROPEE😭😭😭😭

BROOO <3 thank you so much for the support!!! I have the majority of the chapter written so hopefully I can get it up soon but I've also been busy with the impending doom of my mid terms <//3

Anyway! Here's a little snippet of the chapter that probably makes no sense out of context, but I giggled while writing it, so hopefully it keeps you going for now!

"And as for you two—” his glare can burn holes through brick. “LaRusso. Lawrence. Another week of detention. Congratulations, that makes two! I hope your schedules are crystal clear.” Daniel chokes. “You’re punishing us too?” “You were arguing, bickering, and escalating an already unstable situation!" He cries, slamming a hand on the desk so hard a stapler jumps five beats into the air. “I don’t care if you didn’t start the fire, Daniel, if you throw gas on it, you’re part of the explosion! I highly doubt a cop would excuse an arsonist just because they didn't mean to do it. ” “Good thing I'm not an—!” Daniel starts, but Johnny immediately cuts in with a scoff. “Fuckin' hell, relax, princess. Nobody died.” Daniel turns on him, eyebrows knotted together as his mouth curls down in a sneer. “Oh, now you decide to speak! You know you’re the reason this keeps happening, right?” Daniel snaps. He raises his hands in mock surrender, still smug in his newfound consciousness. "Didn't make you choose truth." And holy shit, Daniel wants to lunge at the guy. He wants to spring off from the ground and collide with Johnny, hands wrung around his pigeon neck and foreheads colliding together in a deranged macabre performance. Fuck him, fuck detention, fuck soulmates and fuck Johnny fucking Lawrence! "That wasn't even the cause of—" "Oh, blah blah, do you love your voice that much—" "You're such a hypocrite! Y' just have to mouth off every chance you get—” "Yeah because I admit my voice is great—" "Who lied to you—!" Casey cackles from her spot beside them. “He’s not wrong. You do run your mouth like it’s a full-time job, Lawrence," she starts before tacking on a curt, "and your voice isn't all that.” “Shut up, Casey,” Johnny and Daniel say in near-unison, which only makes her laugh harder. Daniel barely has time to blink before the principal slams a ruler against the edge of his desk, the sharp crack hitting once, twice, thrice before successfully cutting through the chaos like a gunshot. "Silence!" He throws the ruler onto the desk, hand rubbing down his face. “What did I just say? And yet you question your punishment!” The room, for the most part, jolts into stillness aside from Abigail’s seething and Johnny’s smug, cool kid persona leaning back against the wall, arms behind his head like they’re at some fucking beach cabana and not about to be executed in the school office. The principal’s eyes narrow, deep lines cutting across his forehead as he glares at them all like they’re a pack of feral dogs that just pissed all over his new Persian rug. “I have had it with this soap opera. We are done here.” His gaze lands hard on Daniel and Johnny, eyes sharp as glass. “Congratulations, you two have upgraded to a strong two weeks of detention. Effective immediately. Truly, and I mean truly, well done.”

[ratsplendor]

Congratulations on reaching a million words milestone on AO3!!! 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

(-parallel fiddauthor anon)

Also I wanna ramble a bit about the whole parallel fiddauthor trope, because I'm in that mood I hope you don't mind! Okay so I actually didn't even know a trope like that even existed in the first place until I saw some stuff here on tumblr about parallel Fiddleford falling in love with Ford and I was like damn that's actually delicious why the fuck not! I like the intense amount of yearning that trope has like imagine Ford who's been traveling the multiverse alone for almost 30 years and suddenly he stumbles into a world where he meets the parallel version of a man he's been missing for so long meanwhile parallel Fidds who thinks his Ford doesn't love him back is suddenly face to face with the alternate version of him who's an incredibly hot silverfox scifi hero, I think it would be incredibly difficult for him to resist fawning over him and tbh I don't blame him. Ford comes to PF asking for his help with the gun and PF provides him a safe place to rest and recover from his previous journies. And they're both having such a hard time being around each other because of all the YEARNING until they both finally snap and can no longer keep their hands away from each other. Over Ford's short stay in that dimension PF will provide him with comfort and satisfy his carnal needs by letting Ford fuck him senseless and Ford in turn provides PF with the same comfort and satisfaction by fucking him senseless with the vigor of a man who's been yearning for his friend for almost 30 years. After intense fucking comes the comfort where they're both laying in bed, wrapped up in each others arms, stroking and caressing whatever surface their hands could reach and murmuring soft words against each other's skin. They both know this is incredibly risky and wrong and that they could never be able to be together, but they don't care and will ignore the inevitable as long as possible until the day comes when the gun is finally ready and they have to part ways. PF sends Ford trough the portal with a bittersweet goodbye kiss, hoping that he'll be able to complete his lifelong mission and survive and return to his own dimension to his own Fiddleford waiting for him.

aaaaAAAAAAAA you people know exactly !! how to get to me >:c (/affectionate)

like i told deranged anon last week. i had *plans.* well not really. this ear infection thing is kicking my ass and i am just taking whatever i can get done as a gift. in any case, i thought maybe i'll work on that crackfic this weekend, or perhaps even act II of sleeping dogs. no . you come into my inbox when i rise from crusty slumber and hit me with this beautiful, horrible, gaping miasma of queer yearning. i opened this doc so fast. as i've said before, sometimes i wonder why y'all outsource to me (/complimentary, i'm certainly not complaining i love writing for y'all) bc some of you have this clarity of vision + ability to put shit down on paper that makes me convinced you could write an excellent fic! <3

++ just to curse you/thank you for this, here is the beginning of this fic, written over a month ago. some fics are a long haul and some are a sprint but they all turn out feral in the end.

(+ thank you for the congratulations <3 i wouldn't be here without you guys!!)

[honeyhonest]

I FUCKING FINALLY FINISHED MY EXAMS

so, when i'm in test season i don't use tumblr, i don't read the blogs so i don't get distracted while i'm studying and have something to disconnect when i finish. but this time i was weak and instead of going the whole month without the app, it was only the last week or so. bc the last week had the most difficult tests. so, opinion dump:

-one: vargas... why

-two: i LOOOOVE my violent and anxious pookie rollo. i'm a fan of nddp and the hunchback is my fav Disney classic, rollo my fav villain, hellfire my fav song, BUT N O. not horny thoughts with my pookieeeee😭😭😭 i can't explain how fucking much time it gets to rollo to ve confortable enough to be in a relationship, getting used and close to you and T H E N horny thoughts shyly start to flourish. like you once said, rollo would cry during sex. and i need it to be slow, and calm him down, and hug him, and stop, and clean his tears and and and

ik for shit that if rollo knew that the fair judge is, well, IS FROLLO, he would ve so fucking repulsed and would've hate himself for idrolating that man (does that word even exist in english?)

-three: i got raverne/crowley. you NEED to do more quizzes, pleaseeeee

-four: I HAVE THIS TON OF MIXED FEELING WITH HIS DEAD WIFE LIKE. i love he *LOVED* her, in capital. i'm sure they had suchhhhh a lovely relationship. i would mind my own business, IF SHE WERE STILL ALIVE. but i'm a trein fucker, PLEASEEEEEEE SOMEONE MAKE THAT MAN SWITCH PAGE. but he's not only a widow, he's a father! with grown daughters! that... would be fucking awkard, ik by a fact that dolly an anna aren't expecting nor wanting a stepmother. but then, i have this oc! it started as a twisted gothel, Antique Curses professor, bc in my au NRC is a girls + boys boarding school and i needed fem teachers. and i made her not as a old as trein but, in her fourties, soon to fivety and FUCKING TERRIFIED of aging. they are supposed to be good friends, like the group started with trein, mrs. trein, goth and his husband. then mozus went widow, goth got cheated on and they are just them. now, I NEVER MEANT THIS ROMANTIC, but lately a tension has been there...! AND I DON'T LIKE THAT, I LIKE TREIN BUT I DON'T LIKE THAT. ANYONE, ANYONE BUT GOTH. EVEN THE VERY SPECIFIC DEMON FAE TWISTED CHERNABOG OC THAT I MADE FOR CROWLEY AND FELLOW WOULD BE BETTER FOR TREIN THAT GOTH, HER BACKSTORY JUST--- NO. aghhhhhhh, my fucking brain...

-five: man, i gotta read and watch jurassic park. the only reason leona, fellow and idia aren't letting us all day is because their babies WON'T die (tho, ortho will obviously fucking survive without idia, gidel and cheka are other story because they are smol children)

whatever, I'M FREE NOW. did i purposefully slipped bout my chernabog fae oc x crowely/fellow? yes. bc i have NOONE to rant about my cheryl and i didn't want to outright bumo info abt her in your blog. NOW I CAN KEEP UP WITH YOUR POST, WOHOO

hi anon! welcome back

-one: every once in a while we'll come up with something deranged to say about vargas. SOMEONE needs to

-two: EVERYONE ENJOY MORE NDDP/HOND. NOW!!!! I just wrote a very long essay on catholicism so I don't have any rollo juice left in me but I love that little bowl cut freak

-three: GIVE ME MORE IDEAS FOR QUIZZES!

-four: twisted!gothel and trein is actually genius. I'm sat for it. I love trein and I love that he loved his wife but it's surely been 15+ years now, well over the threshold for mourning, I think the problem with trein is actually just that he doesn't think he'll ever meet anyone else. he's obviously very committed to his job, and he has lucius, but that's it. his daughters are... supposedly? grown. probably very early 20s? he obviously doesn't fraternize much with his colleagues (or outright just doesn't like them) and his students are a Headache. he doesn't even want to teach at NRC, either. he wanted to be at RSA! so. he could probably use something else in his life

-five: READ AND WATCH JURASSIC PARK! ugh another thing I could go on and on about forever

[free-luigi-mangione]

Another factor I have not seen brought up wrt Luigi’s pending federal indictment is that the current administration is going absolutely crazy. This is levels of fascism previously unseen by almost everyone who is still alive in the United States.

A few weeks ago, the new AG Pam Bondi made it clear that the administration would be pursuing the death penalty in cases of heinous crimes committed by illegal immigrants and anyone attacking law enforcement. A lot of erroneous headlines actually correlated it to Luigi’s case and made it seem like Bondi was referring to him and thank heavens that’s not true. Other than Trump’s initial statement condemning Luigi and Musk’s deranged throwaway comments about him, they actually haven’t been focussing much on him and that is a big blessing.

The administration is paying El Salvador millions a year to house what on paper should only be illegal immigrants belonging to the Venezuelan gang Tren de Aragua. Unfortunately, with Trump being Trump, this has actually resulted in people even remotely suspicious being deported without due process. Like, they’re sending immigrants from other countries to El Salvador. It’s insane. The place is called CECOT and it makes Rikers look like a Swiss spa. Do not look it up if you have a weak stomach.

KFA is vocally anti Trump and has spent more time witnessing politics up close than Luigi has been alive. She knows it’s absolutely in his benefit if the DOJ is ignoring his case right now and dragging their heels. Republicans are currently as trigger happy as they’ve ever been in recent memory and it’s not like the opposition can be counted on to do anything useful. Hell, half the DOJ officials who took bribes to pursue federal charges against Luigi are Democrats.

Karen knows it could get a lot worse for him and she’s 100% in the right not to piss anyone off right now. Human rights violations are being committed at unprecedented rates even against orders from judges, and poor Karen is stuck with shit judges in the first place. Luigi having to wear handcuffs all the time is much better than him getting carted off to a foreign torture camp. If 10 years ago you’d told me an American citizen awaiting trial was in danger of being disappeared this blatantly, I would’ve laughed my ass off. But in 2025 anything goes.

I’m actually not that old (I guess), I turn 29 soon. But the crowd here does seem a lot younger so I definitely feel a difference - 💚

as far as i'm aware, didn't Trump bring back the pursuance of death penalty for all cases where it's eligible when he came back to power?? so how exactly does this new thing affect cases like Luigi's??? (specifically Luigi's tho because he's kind of in a very differently tough spot compared to others)

also i looked up CECOT, i saw it has a capacity for 40,000 inmates and i cut it out quick, i was like forty fucking thousand??? this is it, i've seen enough, i'm out (i don't want to know more about that place if it's supposed to keep 40,000 people imprisoned, that place must be hell on earth for anybody stuck there)

KFA is so anti Trump (and good for her, somebody needs to speak out against that orange fascist) that i sometimes worry about whether that can make Luigi's case be handled worsely just because she's defending him. i don't know if it's a worry from nowhere because i at least see the current administration as highly problematic and dangerous but i hope it is an unfounded worry and it stays that way.

also the fact that the Dems are so useless currently and that even before going away they shilled for the 1% so hard and made Luigi's cases so much worse than what usually happens in such cases is so infuriating. also uhh d'you mean to say he's in danger of getting Epsteined some other way??? if not the direct Epstein Epstein way because of the kind of person Epstein was??

[depressed-sasuke]

Kind of a weird question I hope you don't mind dhejeje but hypothetically if Lalo had to face all of the main villains in the dollar's trilogy movies (so like El indio, angel eyes, Ramon etc..)) who somehow are still alive how would it go?

Do you think he'd try to strike unlikely alliances for some ulterior motive? Or that he'd be more likely to seek out revenge for something they did to him? Maybe also trying to get their bounty?

Ok ok so this has to be one of the most exciting questions I've gotten!! My brain has been Turning super hard trying to think of my answer (THAT'S GOOD!!) I'm going to try to not make him a Mary-sue and see that all his fights are unfair and not crazy easy for him

Ookok!!

Lalo (17) vs Ramon, El Indio, then angle eyes! I'll go in order from first movie to last :))

There are ALOT of factors that change each villain! 

Ramon would be the easiest for him to get to know, they're both Mexican, which makes me think Ramon would be more open to him, try to take him in like an apprentice

 Boast how Lalos is better than his little brother. 

His reason for killing Ramon would be more towards justice, he's drifting around and see's the towns gone to shit, Ramon has kidnapped some innocent lady from her family! Lalo can fix that, so he will. 

Lalos is less of a plan guy and more of a shoot and see what happens! He'd keep his killings inside, instead of the back and forth with the baxtors. I'm sure he'd chat with the lovely lady once, and get all the  information she knew about schedules and such, make a deal that he'll kill Ramon for a good amount of money.  

Ramons viewing of Lalo would equal better trust, which means it's easier for Lalo to slip by in places he shouldn't be. After letting the family go he'd get back and  try to pretend he didn't know what happened, but get surprised by Ramon clicking his shotgun. 

Their battle would be a moving one, hiding behind walls and shooting at each other, Lalo having to deal with three other of Ramons men. Lalo keeps nearly getting his chest blown. But he ends up getting Ramon in the head. Towns saved, yay! And he gets good money from the baxtors, he's still young and thinks that's one's better than two, so he leaves it at that. 

El Indios death would be for the money 💰 10,000 bounty!?! He could show off to his dads so hard lol

El Indio is more difficult, joining his gang won't be easy…and getting to know him is even worse. The guy screams crazy and deranged, but Lalo has a pretty optimistic personality, so trying to get along with him for the most part wouldn't be bad. 

Indio would be suspicious, naturally, but Lalo taking his younger status to advantage would say he wants to join a “group” and he knows Indio is really dangerous, which will make his own bounty high when he gets one. Indio makes him fight one of his men to prove himself, and Lalo wins.

Being in a group is torture to Lalo, he's the youngest and new so he's constantly being watched and criticized by the other members. They eat when Indio says, stop and rest, travel, ugh! He especially hates being surrounded by criminals, he's no Saint, but his ego definitely believes he's better than them. He probably gets irritated and shows off by killing a few and claiming it as an accident.It was no problem as Indio kept sending him out in duos, probably to see if he'd still come back. 

I figure Indio would find this a lie when he finds a few of the bodys with two holes in them each…

This time he can't sneak under someone's wing. Indio was hardly sad when his wing man died, why would he even think about taking some random kid under his wing? He'd end up exposing Lalo for being a bounty killer, since Lalo was after him and not the bank notes. Lalo would be too inexperienced to catch on and they would beat him. Indio would do the same thing of letting him leave and tricking his men to go after him. 

One by one he goes through them, and finally he's at his wits end, tired, beaten, standing across from Ramon. I'd love the music to be from when Indio killed the man who betrayed him (or just El Indio theme) 

Lalo wins, and turns Indios body in, winning 10,000$$$  He decides to return the money back to the bank, just left it in the front and road off. 

Angel eyes 😨

The guy is smart, cold and calculating. Nothing Lalo would do could trick him! I suppose if he was still alive, Lalo would be upset at how he beat Tuco. 

Perhaps Angel eyes can see Lalo as a Blondie 2.0 and try to get him to partner up with him, saying they're both strong and such. The two of them can get bigger paying bounties, Lalo going under someone else's wing once again. I feel like lalo is as sadistic as angel eyes, but they both put it away for a better facing personality. That would make a crazy fun little duo!

Except No way Angel wouldn't be planning for those two deaths. They would both know that Angel eyes wants to kill them and in turn lalos gonna want to kill him. 

So the partnership would be futile and would end in a duel.

I don't think that Angel eyes would be the type to run away from someone actively chasing him. He's got enough ego and Age to think he'll outdraw Lalo. 

That's a little boring! What if Lalo himself was after the 200,000!?!

He'd get into all sorts of trouble. Of course he himself would have both the names, after a beating he'd only give up the name of the yard, telling Angel he'd have to kill him to get the name on the grave. 

I'm sure he'd escape from the group for a short period of time, but eventually they'd both end up at the graveyard together. 

I'm kind of seeing why having two separate people knowing two different things is a smart idea. With blondie, he's able to negotiate into a fight by splitting the chances of who'll get the name on the grave.

 With just Lalo, what could angel eyes possibly do at that point? He won't talk if beaten… but being held at gunpoint…I don't think Lalo wants to die that early. But!! He would die after giving Angle the name anyways!! Argg!!🫠🫠 

He could possibly do what Blondie did, though!

It's all hypothetical anyways 😮‍💨 but fun!! My brain was WORKING during this haha! 

I might just have to give Lalo his own little villain huh? Not too good at writing 😕

If I make any errors or if anybody wants further details about any of these interactions/Fights I'd be happy to explain! I'm kinda Bing writing it lol, so don't be afraid to tell me if somethings off!! :]

[dogwittaablog]

I was never a nolpat fan (didn't hate him, he just wasn't one of the guys I was fannish about), and even I was... not devastated, but still felt something of a gut-punch when I read about what he said in these accounts. And it's not because I have some rosy view of hockey - I grew up around it, unfortunately I know all too well how toxic it can be. I try to go into fandom with the expectation that any player (including/especially the ones I admire) can do any of the myriad terrible things that are so common in this sport's culture, fall in step with the also terrible political views of the majority, would generally be a person I would not want to talk to irl. The gut-punch part for me I think comes from 1) plain old sadness/disappointment/horror at the reminder of how awful human beings can be, just, in general, because yes of course I know these people exist and see evidence of it all too often, and even if this was some rando on the internet those comments would be upsetting; and 2) that these comments hit me right in my sense of unfairness, that so much opportunity and privilege was given to someone so terrible. (Of course privilege isn't distributed based on goodness, but it's always infuriating to see shitty people get good things/no comeuppance for being shitty; sure, cosmic justice isn't a thing, but we sure wish it were.)

As many others have said, I do think it's important to understand the reality of this sport's culture and its myriad issues, and take steps back to make sure you're keeping that fiction/reality divide clear in your head, but as you pointed out, some people are new or have less experience with the realities of hockey for whatever reason, and even if they are, people will be upset by news of someone being a piece of shit because someone being a piece of shit is generally upsetting. I don't think it's productive to tear people down for simply not knowing how bad it was. Dismay and the misguided belief that someone being good-looking and talented and quiet correlates to their quality as a person aside, I have yet to see anybody digging in their heels and bending over backwards to defend him (like other anon(s) pointed out, the Kane fandom meltdown was... scarring, to say the least, and I have absolutely no patience for that, that is block on sight for me.) We're all in this fandom community together, do try to give people some grace to be upset, and maybe don't call them deranged or in need of professional help so readily.

(Which is to say, I agree with your stance!)

A little bit of a long read for some, but you broke down even more points and articulated parts I wish I could've come up with in some of my other anon responses.

I'm sure you're specifically talking about P.Kane (There is so many genuine problematic fucks in the league with the last name Kane, ironically). Though don't even get me started on that because I remember hearing stories about P.Kane through my brother even when I was 12 and seeing media gradually expose his problematic behaviours as well over time too. I am truly convinced anyone who's a fan of his new or old, just obsess over how hot he was in his early 20's and that's all they see when they think or hear of him, cause bro my man went downhill after a point, so it's like what are you even liking about this dude, cause I know it's not even about how he plays hockey LMAO... He literally has an open track record that with a 10 second search you can find everything problematic he's done the past decade, heck you even got grown men even saying fuck that dude too. His fangirls are definitely what I'd consider concerning.

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Okay actually, I’m gonna be the change I want to see in the world— I Know I’m the only person pushing for this, but can you do a ship review on. Light Zeron and Officer Maloney— if you don’t know enough about either character for that,,,, I dunno— Poppy Soup and Sally Acachalla? - overthinkingtaleblr

you CANNOT do this to me I'm INSANE about both of these concepts and I'm gonna do both you fiend! I'm starting with zeron/maloney because I think the idea of that is just below spooker/maxwell for me on deranged (/pos) ships.

Light Zeron/Officer Maloney

so to start us off let's go over the AMAZING dynamic of "world's most pathetic officer of the law" and "vampire security guard on the run"

we know that maloney is. ahem. SHIT at catching criminals, which makes this whole thing work long enough that they Could form a love/hate relationship

god I want a 5k fanfic on this unironically but I would have to write it!!!!

is this post- or pre-vampire? I'm thinking pre BECAUSE imagine!!! imagine the angst

zeron is acting strangely, super out of character. the only person who knows him well enough to figure it out is the man trying to catch him :sobbing:

(also on an unrelated note, they're both aliens which I think is really cute)

look just like. god I'm just shaking my fists irl because I'm so incoherent about this

theyre like. weirdly similar tbh. something about their egos i feel like would both clash heavily and potentially work really well together

IT'S THE PERFECT ENEMIES TO LOVERS SICK FIC GODDAMN

zeron hasn't drunk any blood in ages, (something-something moral quandary something-something starving) and now he's basically passing out from malnutrition, so of course that's the moment maloney spots him in the alley he's squatting in.

and maybe if it were a stranger he would corner them and feed, (its so much easier to drink someone's blood when you can convince yourself that they aren't actually a person, in a weird, convoluted way) but this is someone he knows, maybe even respects. even if they are enemies.

so he doesn't want to drink maloney's blood, and that leaves him with only one other choice - he runs.

he pushes past him and ducks into the nearest abandoned building, hoping to lose maloney in there, but maloney's right behind him.

and meanwhile maloney, so used to their usual back-and-forth banter during fights, is highly confused (maybe a little upset - and fairly worried - if he's being honest) by this behavior.

zeron keeps running but it's clear he won't get much further unless he drinks someone's blood, and now there's literally only one person around - the guy he cares for too much (even if he won't admit it to himself).

be caught or surrender, that's his choice.

it's made for him when maloney catches his wrist - but instead of cuffing him, he spins zeron around, cornering him.

(at this point zeron is wondering if he's about to die a very painful death, but all he can do is stare at maloney's neck.)

maloney oblivious to his surroundings as always, is currently checking zeron over for injuries, and mentally slapping himself because he caught the criminal, why isn't he cuffing him?

this is around the time zeron's resolve breaks - close proximity to a very appetizing meal while starving makes it a bit difficult NOT to partake.

he goes for the neck - literally - and begins drinking like the world is ending. make this part as gay as your little heart desires.

being stabbed in the neck hurts, even more so when they are draining your blood, so maloney quickly pushes zeron off.

but a meal's a meal, and zeron is gone before maloney can even get a word in.

that's all ive got on that for right now haha, so let's hop over to pros and cons!

pros: very fun dynamic, their shared weirdness and the fact that they're both aliens (of different species) could be a bonding point, and they are both like. so so sopping wet and pathetic, they also have similar personalities in a strange way. great potential for hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers and hurt/no comfort fics.

cons: uhhhh. okay so theyre on opposite sides technically, which means any happy ending is gonna have a lot of rough spots, and there's like SO much distrust between them (and light zeron already has issues trusting others)

Conclusion: I'm like SOO biased here so give me a sec to find my center and use logic. Do I think they would work short-term? I feel like they would somehow manage it? like despite everything they'd somehow manage to stay in a not-so-secret kind-of-relationship for at least a year (meanwhile all the news stations are reporting about the two gay people fighting in the street again), and then they'd actually start going on the cheesiest dates ever (and causing pure chaos wherever they went), like coffee dates and amusement park dates and all that shit. everyone would just accept that they're dating and that maloney will probably never catch him but it's Buttsville, NC so what are you gonna do?

at the same time though, I'm sitting here like, what's the long-term gonna look like? does maloney become a criminal? do they get married and settle down? both are hilarious yet tragic because undoubtedly maloney would be a better criminal than police officer but it goes against his perception of himself, and neither is exactly built for domesticity. still, I think they'd manage. somehow it feels like they're too much of a force of nature to let something like that stop them, y'know?