#even though there's no actual bloodsport in this one it is mentioned + alluded to

[razzle-zazzle]

Whumptober Day 01: Race Against the Clock

Search Party

3487 Words; Ouroboros

TW for mentions of bloodsport

AO3 ver

The door slid open, and Norma immediately had to resist the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose and groan.

Arrayed throughout the room were the other junior agents. Gisu was at the computer, Lizzie standing beside her, and she hurried to minimize whatever she had pulled up on the screen the moment she caught sight of Norma. Raz and Adam were over with Morris by a box of paper records, and Sam was sitting on an old office chair in the corner, leaning over the back.

“So.” Norma put on an unimpressed expression and crossed her arms at the sight before her. Her fellow junior agents all wore varying expressions of sheepishness, which made her eyes narrow a fraction in irritation. “Why are all of you digging through confidential files?” Norma frowned as her voice came out higher than she wanted it, tinged with an emotion she couldn’t quite define as opposed to the level tone she had been aiming for. Hollis always made catching someone doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing look so cool; Norma felt awkward in comparison.

“No reason.” Raz’ face was pure innocence, hands folded in his lap like he hadn’t just been digging through the files of the box he was currently sitting on barely a second ago.

“Who said anything about confidential?” Lizzie challenged, affecting a casual air as she stared Norma down.

“Yeah,” Morris added, “Maybe we’re just grabbing a file for our mentors.” It was the weakest excuse Norma had ever heard from him—and she’d heard plenty of stinkers when he’d been dancing around the pirate radio station he thought he was hiding.

“Rrright.” Norma drawled, not buying it for a second. “All of your mentors, at the same time, sent you to look through files—most of which are confidential—to grab a file they could undoubtedly find for themselves in half the time?” Some part of her reveled in the way Gisu and Adam winced at her words—another part of her balked at the fact that Morris and Raz weren’t. Lizzie remained as collected as ever, and Sam… well, okay, Norma didn’t think she could ever make Sam wince.

Morris nodded. “Well, we weren’t all told to go look at the same time,” he explained, “but we all figured it would go faster if we worked together.” He sounded so confident, not stumbling over his words at all—Norma might have even believed the lie, if she hadn’t seen what Gisu and Lizzie had been looking at before Gisu minimized the file.

Adam nodded along. “Yeah, nothing to worry about.” He added, and Raz nodded along with him. He really was just a kid—discomfort pricked in Norma’s chest at the reminder.

Norma’s eyes narrowed. She stalked forwards, coming to a stop just beside Gisu and reaching for the mouse—

Lizzie’s hand was cold against her wrist, as it always was. Norma turned her ire to her sister—Lizzie’s eyes widened as she realized what she had just done, and what that action revealed.

Norma cleared her throat, carefully grabbed Lizzie’s arm with her free hand and freed her wrist, and then re-opened the file. Instead of perhaps the more innocuous mission report or amusing snide email chain, the file played across the screen detailed a mission that was ongoing—and more importantly, incredibly off-limits to anyone not a senior agent.

“I’m not stupid.” She said, glancing around at the room. Expressions varied, but it was clear—Norma had caught them in the act, and they all knew it.

Gisu threw her head back with a groan. “We were just looking!” She protested, wrestling the mouse back from Norma. “You don’t have to be so smug about it!”

Norma balked—she was not smug! “I’m not—” She started, only to pause and rethink. Recent… actions of hers still weighed in her mind. As much as she hated to admit it, some part of her was smug at catching them in the act. But another part of her that had been much larger as of late had her biting her lip, fingers twitching with what wasn’t quite frustration and what wasn’t quite dread. Fire itched in her brain, that sharp voice of reason in her head hissing at her to step back and think.

“Well, whatever.” Lizzie scoffed. “We can’t go anywhere with this, anyway.” Something in her tone implied that Norma was the one stopping them—or maybe Norma was just being paranoid. Still, she stepped back, regarding them all with a critical eye. Raz especially was obvious—how did she ever think he was the mole—frustration clear in his expression as his shoulders hunched. Norma could have laughed. Of course. Of course, they had all cooked up a plan to do something stupid and then went out of their way to exclude her—because of course they would, because who would ever want to talk to or work with a proven, snobby, snitch?

None of them needed to say it. Norma didn’t even need to be psychic to understand the shared thought in the room. They all wanted to do something… more. More interesting. More useful. More dangerous. More exciting. More like what they all imagined being a Psychonaut was like—and less menial.

Norma… she could never admit it, of course, because there was a method to how agents rose in the ranks and reckless self-endangerment wasn’t it, the voice in her head that often tended to have some degree of sense insisted—but some part of her agreed, with the notion that being a junior agent just hadn’t been enough. That she could—that she should—be doing more. Another voice, the same voice that had insisted that of course Raz had to be the mole, and was quite louder than the more sensible voice, agreed.

She looked at the screen again. “What did you even think you could do?” After the Lucktopus stunt, there was no way Hollis was going to clear any of them to go any further beyond the base than the nearest town—it didn’t matter that Hollis was still on vacation; she had passed the notion onto Truman, who was so bogged down with catching up on everything he had missed—and cleaning up the aftermath of the Gulch Incident—that he wasn’t going to approve anything beyond trips to town, either.

“It’s not like we’re gonna do anything dangerous.” Lizzie argued. “We’re just checking a lead that the senior agents are too busy to look at.”

Norma worked her jaw as she searched for what to say. “And how, exactly, did you plan to do that?” The lead Lizzie was referring to was two states away—there was no way for any of them to get there and back without being caught out.

“Ford!” Sam chimed in, before making her chair spin. It creaked ominously.

“Ford?” Norma repeated, incredulous.

“Ford.” Gisu agreed, to complete the bit.

“You’re going to get Ford to teleport you.” Norma confirmed, still not quite believing it. “And how are you going to convince him?”

Adam grabbed Raz by the sides and held him up like a cat. “Our secret weapon.” He said, and Raz beamed.

“Right.” Norma was decided. It was an easy decision, really—at least, easier than it would have been before Raz showed up and recent events—that Norma had played no small part in, to her displeasure. “I guess that’s enough of a plan to work off of, then.” She tried to look as collected as she could. “I’m coming with.”

Sam’s chair gave out with a final protesting groan, sending her clattering to the floor. Everyone stared as she picked herself up, dusted off her skirt, and then stared back at them all blankly.

“Okay…” Adam picked up the thread of the conversation. “Right, then,” he turned to Lizzie and Gisu. “Let’s look at what we know.” Gisu clicked through the files, and everyone crowded around her to peer at the screen. A summary—it appeared to be an investigation into the disappearance of various known psychics and their possible link to—

Norma frowned. “This is pretty serious.” She commented, fire dancing under her skin. A possible fighting ring, among other theories that were tossed around in the text.

“Oh, it gets better.” Gisu said, clicking through and opening a video file. The film was higher-quality than Norma was expecting. The content…

Lizzie and Adam both covered Raz’ eyes with their hands as the body hit the floor. Gisu closed out the video. “Apparently this place is pretty well known if you’re in the right circles.” She explained, flicking through to another file. “The video was recovered on a past mission. This is supposed to be the guy behind it, or something.”

Norma looked at—well, suspect was really the only word, wasn’t it? The picture was clean, professional—it was probably taken for a billboard or business card. The man in the picture had an easy smile, hands crossed over the handle of a suitcase resting on his legs. He looked like a run-of-the-mill CEO.

“And the lead?” Norma asked. She wasn’t sure if it was the heavy watch or the dark suit or if there really was something in the man’s eyes—whatever it was, the photo unsettled her. Not as much as the video, but—the man seemed larger than he really was, a sort of presence oozing from his features that made fire scratch against the inside of her skin.

Gisu pulled up the relevant file. A map.

Norma stared at the location—supposedly, this was a potential entrance to at least one of the rings, assuming there was more than one. It was also ridiculously mundane. “It’s a golf course.” She pointed out. “There’s nothing nearby that could be hiding an illegal fighting ring.”

“That’s ‘cause it’s underground.” Raz pointed out. Norma was once again reminded that oh, yeah, he was ten.

“Wrong kind of underground, Pooter.” Morris pointed out, but Sam was nodding in agreement with Raz, and Adam was looking contemplative.

“If it’s underground, then that might explain why it hasn’t been found yet.” Adam mused. “There aren’t really a whole lot of ways to check below the surface without digging.” He paused, then, “at least, nothing that the Psychonauts have access to.”

“So we’re digging?” Gisu asked.

“Yep.” Lizzie nodded. “We’re digging.”

+=+=+=+=+

A few hours, one guilt-tripped Ford, and two massive teleports later, and they were all standing at the edge of a golf course.

“Soooo now what?” Sam asked, staring out at the greens as though a hole might open up in the ground before them.

“We look around.” Adam suggested. “There’s gotta be an entrance somewhere.”

With no better ideas, everyone sort of slowly split up, poking around for a few hours before reconvening by a small brick building at Morris’ insistence. Norma glanced at the signs over the two doors—restrooms.

“Nobody who’s gone into here has come out.” Morris pointed out, nodding towards the building in question. “And their minds go down before they disappear, too.”

“Ominous.” Norma muttered.

“Maybe there’s a serial killer in there.” Lizzie suggested, jokingly. “Or a vampire.”

“Absolutely not.” Norma groused. “That’s not possible.” She looked back at the plans. “Maybe there’s psychic inhibitors,” she suggested, “and that’s how the minds are ‘disappearing’.”

“Well, it clearly goes somewhere.” Raz pointed out, “or else people would have been coming out.”

“Pooter’s got a point.” Morris said.

“So what, we just… walk in?” Norma asked. “Surely the senior agents have tried that before.” She wasn’t entirely sure what they could do—they were barely even junior agents, and that title really only existed in the first place for Lili.

But oh, she wanted to do something. Fire itched under her skin. She pushed open the door, and walked inside, looking over at two stalls and the row of sinks. “It’s just a bathroom.” And a gross one, at that—it reeked of bleach and floral perfume that was only halfway managing to cover up the other scent permeating the room.

“That door in the back.” Adam stalked forwards and opened it, pausing in surprise at it being unlocked. A musty closet full of cleaning supplies stood before them.

Raz made a face. “You’re sure it’s in here?” He asked.

Morris shrugged. “If you want to keep looking and getting weird looks from golfers, be my guest.”

“Aha!” Adam stepped out of the closet as a previously-undiscovered mechanism activated. A shuddery sort of groan, and then, as Norma peered into the closet, a rush of stale air hit her in the face. An entrance had opened up in the back of the closet, dim red lighting revealing a stairway going down.

“Yeah, that’s gotta be it.” Gisu said.

Sam frowned. “That was really easy.” She pointed out.

“Well,” Adam began, staring at the stairwell to memorize it, “we got information. Now, how do we… get… back…” He trailed off as they all realized that they had no idea how they were going to contact Ford at this distance.

“I say we keep going.” Gisu suggested. “We’ve come this far, we might as well go all the way.”

“We don’t know what’s down there.” Morris said. “The senior agents didn’t find this door, so we’ve already made our contribution.”

“I never took you for a coward, Martinez.” Lizzie commented coolly, as Morris gasped. “We don’t really have a way back. I say we go for it.”

“Yeah!” Raz nodded. “I wanna see what’s down there.”

Adam swallowed, looking to Sam and Norma. Sam shrugged, and Adam turned to Norma.

Norma knew they should just turn back. They’d found the door, they could go home and tell the senior agents and try not to get into any more trouble than they were undoubtedly going to be in when it came out that they snuck off to a golf course two whole states away to try and find an illegal fighting ring linked to the disappearance of countless psychics—

Or they could investigate further. Be the psychonaut agents they were all trying to be, and do more than just finding a door that the senior agents would have undoubtedly found on their own once they had the time to investigate.

Don’t you want to do something impressive? That little voice asked, don’t you want to make up for snitching directly to the mole?

“Just a quick in an out couldn’t hurt, right?” Norma bit her lip as everyone’s attention turned to her. “We leave the moment things go bad.” Their scrutiny felt so heavy, pinning her in place like a bug.

“Well, that’s that.” Lizzie said, sounding faintly… victorious? “You two are outvoted.” Okay, that one was definitely edging into satisfaction.

Whatever. Norma shook her head clear before following after Lizzie and Gisu as they started down the stairs, Raz attempting to cartwheel down in front of them. The hum of Morris’ levball signaled him, Sam, and Adam following down, and the door shut behind them with a sound of stone grinding against stone.

Now we really can’t go back. Norma wasn’t entirely sure who had thought that—maybe it was her own brain suddenly doubting itself. The red lighting was eerie, and as Norma stared down the stairs still laid out before her, some poetic part of her brain likened it to the maw of some great beast.

They continued on, and reached what seemed like the bottom of the stairs, only to find a short stairway leading up. A heavy feeling filled the air as Norma took the first step, like she was suddenly walking through molasses—and then she was through, and the air was… surprisingly clear, for being underground. They continued up for a bit, until the faint thrum of distant noise resolved itself into heavy music and a cacophony of voices. A set of doors stood before them, with various masks hanging up on racks beside the door.

“So we just grab a mask?” Gisu asked, doing exactly that.

“Maybe we should turn back.” Adam suggested, looking over the mask he grabbed. The grinning face stared up at him.

“I wanna see where this leads.” Lizzie argued, already putting on a purple mask she had found. One by one, they all masked up, faces hidden behind grinning facsimiles.

“Okay.” Adam said. “If we’re really doing this… we need some kind of escape plan.” He looked at each of them, exaggerating the turn of his head to make up for how the mask hid his expression. “The moment things get too hectic, we leave, okay?”

There was muttered agreement, and then they opened the door.

The first thing to really hit Norma was loud. Loud, hot, and sweaty—people in masks of various designs were mingling all over… it wasn’t quite a dance floor, wasn’t quite a ball room—if anything, it looked like a warehouse space, with a ceiling high above lit with dim colored lighting. Small tables of refreshments dotted the space, and TV screens were all over—all showing the same “waiting” screen with occasional flashes of ads.

The seven of them slowly spread out, unsure of what they were really doing. Raz ended up sticking with Adam and Gisu, while Morris trailed after a wandering Sam. And Lizzie…

Norma followed after her sister as she made her way towards a side door. On the way, she picked up bits and pieces of passing thoughts.

death pit is tonight

ugh, is she really wearing THAT

when does the fight start

it’s gonna be the lion again

Norma would have loved to have stopped and listened in greater detail, piecing together the greater image—but Lizzie was moving with purpose to a seemingly unattended side door, and ducked into a hallway without a single word.

Norms, Lizzie’s thoughts trickled into Norma’s mind like meltwater down a glacier, do you think you can act as lookout?

Norma frowned as Lizzie came to a stop in front of a door. The hallway they were in was much quieter than the party, with nobody in sight. Everything about the place screamed off-limits—so of course Lizzie had marked it as a place of interest for their investigation.

“Fine.” Norma muttered, as Lizzie picked a door seemingly at random and tested the knob. It didn’t budge, so Lizzie grabbed a bobby pin from her hair.

Can’t we find a door that’s unlocked? Norma wondered, leaning against the wall beside the door. She couldn’t see Lizzie’s expression behind the mask, but she could feel her sister’s amusement like snow fluttering down.

Because nothing important is put behind an unlocked door. Lizzie’s reply melted against Norma’s flames. C’mon, you know this, you’re the one who’s all gungho about being a secret agent.

Norma huffed. Feels risky. She thought back, fire itching under her scalp. We’re not supposed to be getting in too deep.

Lizzie snorted. Whatever her reply was, Norma didn’t catch it—she tensed at the sound of footsteps down the hall. A woman in a raven mask was approaching them. Norma paused, grabbing at Lizzie’s shirt to get her attention and yanker her up away from the lock in one go.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” The Raven remarked, with a quiet sort of mundanity.

“Yeah, we’re really lost,” Lizzie pitched her voice innocently, “Can you help us find the stands?”

The Raven’s head tilted. Norma felt something brush against her mind—shit. Lizzie lunged forwards, realizing the same thing as Norma. The Raven dodged to the side, and the door behind her opened up to reveal another woman, this one wearing a wolf mask. She was quick to grab Lizzie’s arm, and something in Norma burned with a need to burn those hands. Lizzie struggled to yank her arm free—but the Wolf’s grip was iron. Norma reached out with her mind, but nobody else was close enough—

Fire sprung forth from Norma’s fingers before she was even really thinking. The Wolf stumbled back, but didn’t let go of Lizzie’s arm. Fuck.

A heavy hand landed on Norma’s shoulder. She stumbled forwards, trying to put space between herself and the Raven behind her—

An iron grip grabbed her shoulder

Another brush against her mind. Norma thought of fire, of bright burning walls, and burned the intrusion away. The Raven scoffed.

“Didya get anything?” The Wolf asked, as both the sisters were dragged further down the hall.

“These two aren’t the only little spies running around.” The Raven replied. “That’s all I got.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. This was bad. This was so bad. Fire sparked from Norma’s fingers, frost climbing up the Wolf’s arms—

And then they were dragged into a room, and Norma hissed as the fire under her skin vanished, as the thin connection between her and Lizzie’s minds disappeared. Psychic inhibitors. Of all the—

Norma turned Lizzie, meeting her eyes through their masks. They couldn’t think at each other anymore, but it was pretty clear what they were both thinking.

This mission had gone sideways. And neither of them had any idea how to fix it.

[nelllraiser]

chains and grace | adam & nell

TIMING: october 30th, the full moon, just before sunset. LOCATION: the trees near dark score lake. PARTIES: @walker-journal & @nelllraiser​ SUMMARY: adam and nell prepare themselves for their first full moon as werewolves.  CONTENTS: medical blood (sacrificial fingerstick prick)

Fallen leaves rustled under Adam’s feet, forming a carpet of brilliant oranges and yellows while subtler strings of red and browning rot. The waning afternoon sun forged the forest canopy in halcyon golds. The shadows of the sun-silhouetted branches played across Adam’s face as he affixed more chains to the trunk of the stoutest tree he could find. Adam had no idea how strong he’d be on the first transformation, but he wasn’t taking any chances. 

Kaden may’ve not wanted to kill him, but Adam had more than a few former coworkers with aim that’d put an army Ranger sniper to shame and fewer qualms about pulling the trigger. Thus a remote location and strong bonds were preferable here. 

Adam ‘I love fine ass and incendiary rounds’ Walker realized that there might just be a certain ironic justice in him worrying about trigger happy paramilitary. 

“How’s yours going,” Adam asked his dance partner for this lunar stakeout.

 If Nell hadn’t been treating this evening as a sort of funeral for life as she knew it, the autumnal palette of the trees paired with the steadily setting sun and the company of Adam would have made for a wholly enjoyable setting. As it were, the somber feelings she’d been trying to avoid ever since being bitten by the werewolf were quickly encroaching, refusing to be shoved away in these last moments, effectively ruining any hope for a happy or peaceful outing. 

“I’m going for a nice cat’s cradle look,” Nell answered, still managing to refuse the dread in her stomach access to her sense of sarcasm, even if the joke fell flatter than it normally would have. “I thought it’d be a nice last ‘screw you’ to the wolf part of the situation.” The chains alone were enough to cause her anxiety to prickle uncomfortably, not exactly a fan of imprisonment ever since she’d been trapped beneath the Ring. “What about you?” She looked to Adam as she reversed the question, posing it both as an attempt to get a read on his tree to chain ratio, as well as how he might be handling the situation as a whole.

“Kind of just going for restraint over style here,” Adam noted as he strained his way through some of the last preparations, the muscles of his neck and upper arms wiry the fallen Hunter leveraged one foot against the tree he was trying to bind chains around. “Y’know”, Adam posited, leaning back far enough to look at Nell upside-down he continued to heave at the chain into place around a huge super maple while pushing against the bark with a leg. “I’d hoped when we were going to start tying each other up it’d be…”

This particular train of thought was interrupted by a rasping click as the last chain link slid past the main knot into tautness. Adam stumbled backward, taking off guard by the unexpected success and tripping over a root. 

“Guess what I mean is,” Adam amended, changing his tone and just decided to own the mishap by sitting up with his back against the chained tree. “We still don’t have to do this together if you don't want to,” he prevaricated carefully. “When we first change we’ll have no control, and I honestly dunno if like...we might end up hurting each other with the chains? I dunno.” 

The truth of why he thought Nell might not want him here on the night she lost her magic had little to do with safety, but Adam wanted to give her an easier out here if she wanted it. 

In the end Nell would most likely be banking on the power of her magic when it came to the hardness of her chains. Physical knot tying wasn’t a practical skill she’d been taught when the same end could be achieved with a simple spell. Still- she sat back on her heels to take a look at her handiwork, head tilting to the side to gain a new perspective that didn’t actually provide any other insights. Sparing Adam a flicker of amusement both at his words and momentary fumble, she dusted her hands on the sides of her pants restless now that she didn’t have the chains to preoccupy them. “Never say never. Maybe it could be a treat for making it through the first full moon.”

Maybe Nell had misjudged where that sentiment was going, though. Was Adam having second thoughts? “Why wouldn’t I want to? Do you not want to? Do this together, I mean.” Nell generally gravitated towards having what she perceived as moments of weakness by her lonesome, preferring not to have audiences for the times she felt most vulnerable. But in a break from tradition— she’d been grateful to not have to do this alone. There was nothing more she could do for the chains, and she let her own back slide down the trunk of her tree before settling onto the ground. “I thought werewolves don’t usually go after each other.” Or was there a different reason he might want to change their plan, and go his own way.

Adam sat on leaves at the foot of his chained tree, glancing up at the boughs swaying above him in the canopy overhead before looking back to Penelope. He drew a knee up and laid an arm across it, flexing his fingers and ignoring the whisper of imagination that visualized claws tearing their way out of them. 

“I’m down to do this together,” he assured carefully, pushing images of shredding skin and distending ribs out of his brain. “I just...I dunno.” 

“Feel you are losing a lot more than me here,” the fallen Hunter pointed out softly, “thought you might want me not being here when… y’know.” 

“Oh-” was Nell’s unintentional filibuster of a reply, unsure if she wanted to open the floodgates concerning that particular can of worms. For the most part she’d been avoiding it, preoccupying herself with learning as much as she could get her hands on when it came to Bloody Mary, the mysterious sands, and Adam’s own disappearing abilities. The looming loss of her powers left her feeling as if there were a black hole deep within her stomach, and if the witch so much as stood still for a single moment to spare it a thought— it would pull her in, dragging her under like a similar hole had threatened to do when Bea had been killed. “I just...you know when Bea died?” she began, not entirely certain how to express herself. “And sometime afterwards you let me come over- and it was nice. I don’t know-” she backtracked self-consciously. After all, sharing emotions in person was not one of her stronger suits. “I guess maybe I thought it’d be nice again or something- if you were here.” As for what there was to lose... “Do I? I mean I know your abilities are gone right now, but I’m sure whatever strength and senses that come from being a werewolf won’t be the same as what you had, right? And- well- I can’t imagine it’s all that comforting to become something you were trained to kill.” Dark brown eyes that appeared nearly black in the fading light of the setting sun rose to find Adam’s while she finished.

Adam nodded as Nell alluded to when he’d broke down and they were together. While some fraternity mates had given him knowing nod the morning after the truth was….more vulnerable than that. Adam’d played along with lascivious implication because it was easier to let play it off as just another fuck-romp then admit he’d been falling to pieces. “I’m glad you’re here Nell,” he said with steady directness. “No matter what happens.” 

“I’m more ...worried that I am trained to kill and I kinna get lost in it,” Adam admitted. He was past the point of pretending that he wasn’t an adrenaline junkie who got a rush when his family had warned he should only feel dutiful dispassion when dispatching the enemies of mankind. “Part of me can’t get enough and it made me good at what I do for all the wrong reasons,” confessed one who might’ve become a very different man if he hadn’t been born into a Hunter family that stressed moral utilitarianism and military discipline rather than bloodsport. “I tried not to let that control me but uh…”

“Guess what I’m trying to say is that if I’m this fucked up as a human,” Adam tried again, “what is wolf-me going to be like?”

“I’m glad you’re here, too,” Nell answered with her own unwavering certainty, a gentler smile granting itself to Adam. It was softer- calmer than her usual confident grins and smirks, though just as sincere. “Whatever happens I’m glad we can do it together.”

The mention of her magic had reminded Nell of the flower seeds she’d brought along with her, hoping to create one last thing with her gifts before she had to say goodbye to them. Not yet retrieving them from her pocket, she began to draw a circle in the dirt between their two trees, a single finger paving the way of runes and sigils as it trailed along the forest floor. 

Her spellwork paused as she listened, looking up with a slight frown as he shared. “I don’t think you’re fucked up,” she said reflexively, never enjoying those she cared about speaking of themselves in such a way. “I think we’re just...doing the best with what we’ve got, you know?” But she knew it went beyond that. There was no denying that werewolves had a natural bloodthirst about them the closer it was to the full moon, and it made sense that Adam might dread what result that would garner when paired with a desire that was already present. “Well that’s why we’ve got each other, right?” she asked, referring to the unofficial pact they’d made to check on one another when it came to questionable deeds. “To make sure...we’re still the people we want to be. I won’t let it happen-” Her voice was strong, Nell’s sheer determination peeking through. “If getting lost to that isn’t what you want- if it seems like you’re getting close...we can figure out how to pull you back. And I think at the end of the day the fact that you don’t want to become that says more about you than liking the rush of a kill says. Intentions are more powerful than people give them credit for,” she ended, somewhat aware that her words bordered on lines of witch-hippy speak, but also knowing it to be true after a lifetime of powering her magic with just that.

“Thanks Nell,” Adam managed with a thick swallow, wanting to echo her sentiment but feeling guilt for being the impetitus of this whole situation. Seeing Penelope perform this last swan song of a spell just hit it home that he’d fucked up the life of yet another of his friends. 

Ma’al had suggested another way right? Service to Hell for being a Hunter again? 

But ..Nell was losing her powers for the sake of saving his life. If Adam was really considering taking on the mark and swearing himself to the Hells, shouldn’t it be to restore her powers, not his?

“Nell uh.” Adam swallowed, feeling the horrible tension of this last option in his chest as the sky gained streaks of livid violents and yellows in the countdown till sundown. 

“If I could make a deal to save your powers...even if it might mean doing something morally uh, not so great.” That admittedly was probably an understatement given what Ma’al true form actually was, but Adam didn’t want to foist that on Nell’s conscience. “Would you take it?”

He felt real shitty dropping this on Penelope as they were trying to resign themselves to their fate. But if he could offer her a chance to keep this part of herself...wasn’t even becoming Ma’al’s new pet wolf worth it? 

“I’ll do it if you need me too,” Adam assured, suddenly thankful for the tree’s unyielding support against his back. 

Nell’s face had been turned towards the sun as it continued to sink lower, half-convinced she could see every single millimeter disappear behind the horizon as it went. It felt as if it were some great celestial clock counting down the minutes she had left with her magic, and the moments left until she’d lose a piece of herself that was as much as part of her as an arm or leg. Then as Adam called her attention back, she sat back on her heels next to her tiny circle, satisfied with the work she’d done. “A deal?” she echoed first, not entirely certain what he’d meant by it. Her reflexive gut reaction was a quick reply of “Don’t do that.”

The little indent between her eyes furrowed as Nell tried to truly process what it was Adam was offering, and potentially at the expense of himself. “Listen-” she began carefully, hoping she’d somehow manage to find the right words. “When I came to help you- Sure- I didn’t know that it’d result in losing my magic. But well- the thing is-” She paused on the precipice of her words, still not quite used to bearing herself openly though she was getting used to it with Adam. “I’d still do it knowing what I know now.” Though her magic was the biggest price she could think to pay, there was one thing that she knew would demand an even larger toll, and it was losing someone she cared for as much as she did for the hunter before her. “And if it’s morally questionable- and I just got done telling you I’d help keep you from that…I wanna keep that promise to you.” There was a pause before she continued on. “I don’t know what I am without my magic,” she admitted with a hitch in her voice, “but I know it’s not a person that wants to have a hand in something that might hurt you.” This time she leaned forward to place a tentative hand on top of Adam’s. “But thank you.” She wasn’t sure how else to show that the gravity of his offer hadn’t been lost on her.

She glanced back at her circle, finally taking the daffodil seeds from her pocket. “Do you wanna help me?” she asked with a nod towards the magic runes, deciding that if they were going to have this transformation together- why shouldn’t they do this together as well? 

Adam wasn’t going to force anything on another person, but Nell’s decision still made his teeth grit down. Guilt and the trainwreck he’d brought his friends’ lives seemed to line his gut with lead. 

Morgan had told Adam something about what it was like to wield magic and lose it. Adam couldn’t really relate to be able to feel the universe coursing through him, that meld his pure intent with quantum fields, or beckon beings across universes through sheer desire. In truth, Adam was a pretty physical guy who was content with the simpler animal pleasures of life. 

Sure, he knew a lot more about other dimensions and otherworldly beings than people might expect from his test scores, but Adam's soldiering upbringing had viewed the multiverse as a dark and pitiless infinity full of eldritch predators and malevolent alien gods. 

Not exactly something you want to “embrace.” 

He wanted to be there for Nell, to be a pillar for her while she went through this loss like Morgan's girlfriend had been. But Adam worried that he couldn’t relate enough to how Penelope experienced the world to be who she needed him to be. When Nell had said earlier that intentions were powerful, the cold utilitarianism of ‘threats’, ‘tactical priorities’, and ‘strategic objectives’ that Adam was brought up in almost led him to say something dismissive before he stopped himself. 

It was that impulse Adam feared. Ideological baggage doesn’t just disappear. That bullshit stays with you, lodged deep in your brain stem somewhere, jumping out whenever you were scared or uncomfortable. Like when you were about to literally split out of your own skin and become something hunted by your own people. 

As just a random example. 

Adam got up and dusted off the leaves from his jeans and walked over to Nell. He took a knee by the arcane diagram. “So uh...we need to chant ominously in Latin or…?” 

Despite the heaviness of the air surrounding them, Nell cracked the beginnings of a smile while Adam posed his question, reminded of the time they’d worked on the demon amulet in her greenhouse. “I think I can carry the chanting part and make it just ominous enough.” Tearing open the seed packet with her teeth to sprinkle them over the center of the circle, she felt her the ache of her loss rise to meet her as she reached for her magic for the last time that mattered. “Remember when I said emotions can make magic stronger? Like the wolpertingers at my birthday party?” she asked. “They help fuel it and make it more powerful if you focus on them. And then it’s almost like you can just pour them into the spell. Just letting them leave you to create something new that isn’t exactly them.” Nell couldn’t help but feel that no amount of the dread and premature mourning for her abilities she put into the spell would be enough to chip away at them, but at least she could use them to form something that would live past that loss. “It’s like free magical therapy,” she tried to joke, though her hands wavered as she passed them over the seeds. “So if you just focus on what you’re feeling, and let them go into the spell- you’ll be helping too.” 

Nell reached forwards to lightly clasp Adam’s wrists in her hands, trying to guide his palms to the center of the circle where the seeds lay before resting them atop the soil. Pulling a hidden fingerstick out of a bobby pin from her hair that was kept for situations such as these, she looked at it for a moment too long— realizing there’d be no need for it after tonight. How many more things like this would she find after her magic was gone? Like little knives hiding around her life to slip between her ribs when she least expected it. Shaking the thought away she pricked the tip of Adam’s finger, letting the droplets of blood wet the dirt. Then she did the same to herself before covering the hunter’s hands with her own, the Latin falling from her as the blood mixed. She let every emotion she’d been forcing down for the past month painfully bubble up inside her until it felt like she might burst before letting it spill over into the magic. Slowly but surely, green shoots began to sprout through the cracks of their fingers, the stalks reaching towards the setting sun as new life was born, already desperate to survive. Nell could have gone further- taken the plants to completion and let them bloom. Instead she let the magic end after the daffodils had grown a few inches above the ground, wanting them to find their own way in a new world just as Nell and Adam would have to do in the coming days. 

“Well- that’s it, I guess,” Nell said shakily. It was over. “Chain time now?” she asked as casually as she could, tilting her head back towards their respective trees.

Adam looked up at a sky the color of blue slate, crisscrossed by the lines of cirrus clouds that’d had been lit up in a conflagration of deep carmine by the setting sun. The branches of the forest’s canopy stretched across the sky panoramy like arms through up against the crepular glare, the autumnal reds and oranges of their leaves transmuted into titian gold by the last sunlight passing through them. 

But shadows deepened in this last fading flare, lengthening from the trunks of trees, gnarled masses of roots, and undersides of the softly swaying branches. The leafy carpet of the forest floor darkened until the conjured daffodils seemed defiant against the gloom in their lush newborn yellow, basking in the last dappled rays. 

Adam glanced from the blood lingering on his finger to the daffodils that’d blossomed in the span of seconds. It occurred to him that...in a way...these flowers had come from him and Nell, there was a tiny part of him in those stems and blooms. “Woah Nell, like...that's amazing,” he breathed, not sure why this small last act of fertility should get so much more of a reaction then the crazier stuff he’d seen Nell do on the battlefield. 

Maybe this was part of what Morgan had meant about the universe becoming a part of you?

A cold dismissive part of Adam reminded himself that he wasn’t thoughtful or smart and he shouldn’t be doing galaxy-brain bullshit about some fucking flowers. It was the same remorseless inner voice that’d always reminded Adam that orders were orders, he needed to focus on the mission not the distractions. 

The boyish sense of wonder snapped off like a light switch. Even in his last minutes of humanity, the bone-deep conditioning still put blinders on Adam’s selfhood. 

“Yeah we need to get ready,” Adam rose to his feet again. He hesitated a moment, wondering if he should hug Nell, say something that he more felt for her then knew. 

Adam’s lips parted as he searched for words for a moment, but they closed as he swallowed down his own sense of guilt and failures as a man. He’d tried to meet Nell’s eyes, but quickly averted his own gaze and started busying himself with the chains, affixing heavy iron locks to his wrists. 

Nell mirrored his hesitation after they’d stood, knowing she wanted something in that moment— but uncertain how to act on it. But tonight they didn’t have time to find the words or motions, seemingly already a prisoner to the rising moon and setting sun despite the shift having not yet happened. The last grain of sand had fallen through their hourglass, and now they had to face the inevitable. This wasn’t the end— not really. But no matter how many times Nell tried to tell herself such, she couldn’t get the words to stick. Things were changing after tonight whether she liked it or not, doors closing and opening. Some were clear cut and well-defined like the loss of her magic, others were shrouded in darkness, unable to be found in the gloom of uncertainty that was where they went from here. The rooms the doors were closing on were the ends of many a thing she wasn’t wanting to relinquish, and even if she lived to see the sunrise it wouldn’t be what it was before.

At least Nell wouldn’t have to do it alone. This was the only good she could think of that was coming of tonight as she glanced over to Adam once more, still trying to find what it was she wanted to say. Instead she focused on shackling herself, locking the cold metal around her wrists in a way that was little too reminiscent of her prisoner days in the Ring. Ignoring the shiver that went down her spine, she decided this was her last chance to say something and did her best. “This is gonna sound shitty- and I don’t mean it like that but...if I was gonna get bit I’m glad it’s with you.” It wasn’t perfect, but it’d have to do. 

The last ray of light blinked out of existence in those last moments, and Nell waited- not knowing in the least how to prepare for what was coming, going forth into the darkness with the realization that at least she had one, tiny lantern in the form of the guy who’d stumbled into the Ring looking for a demon amulet all those months ago. She didn’t know how they’d gotten here, but even now she wouldn’t change it, somehow grateful in these last moments for it. Nell waited until the pinks and purples of the sky stopped reflecting against the new glass of the lake, waited for what felt like hours but couldn’t have been more than mere seconds. Waited until she heard the first cricket begin its song, and there wasn’t a scrap of light left in the sky. But there was nothing. Her hands were still her hands, her feet still encased in the sneakers she’d worn, and her magic…

Nell reached for it once again, a half-laugh, half-cry of relief breaking from her lips as she realized that one in a million had come to fruition. The full moon had come, and she was still here, human and magic and everything she’d been before. Instantly she tried to crane her head towards Adam’s direction, struggling to get far enough away from the tree to see him clearly in the new darkness. “Adam?” she asked carefully, unsure whether she’d get words or a wolfish snarl in response. She repeated his name more insistently. “Adam? Are you there?”

Adam felt the moon in his blood. The air felt heavy around him, as the tidal pull of the moon was ripping at his body. Energic pressure seemed to press down on Adam. His heartbeat hammered in his temples. 

Nell said something to him. Where was he?

Red tinged thoughts flooded into Adam’s head, a visceral longing that quickened his breath and brought up goosebumps of frisson along his skin. 

He needed to snap Nell’s neck, to hold her close as she went still and cold. 

It’d make him strong again. Whole again. 

The Hunter’s Moon whispered in Adam’s veins like wine seeping deep into his bloodstream. 

But Adam looked down at his hands and saw only human fingers. 

The fuck? Why’d he feel this way...the moon...what was going on?

“Yeah I’m here.”

Nell muttered a spell to unlock the metal around her wrists, a wave of relief once tumbling through her as Adam voiced his confirmation. “You’re okay? You’re human?” she asked again, as if she could hardly believe it. And why should she? Kaden had said their odds were one in a million and here they were— apparently two in one million. “You’re sure?” Another breathless laugh found her as she marveled at their luck. “We fucking did it,” she said before stepping forwards to unlock Adam’s own shackles, even though they’d had no hand in deciding their fates when it came to turning into werewovles or not. Gone was the hesitation she’d felt before they’d locked themselves to the tree, rushing forwards to throw herself into Adam for a hug as elation made quick work of any previous uncertainties.

Adam looked at the places on his wrist that Nell had unlocked the shackles from. There were no signs of struggle. He hadn’t just wolfed and out blacked out. His clothes weren’t shredded and Nell was elated. 

What happened? Had his mutation differentiated into those of a Beast Hunter after that encounter with the wolves, granting him immunity? But if that was the case how had Nell not contracted it? 

Adam took Nell into his arms, just content with the reassuring presence of it as his brain still tried to go through the stages of shock, acceptance, and relief. He tried to banish that ingrained Hunter paranoia and just enjoy being alive and human with Nell. “Yeah, we made it,” Adam affirmed back to her in a murmur as he held Penelope close. 

The moon burned like molten silver in the sky, seeming to briefly ripple into deep crimson in Adam’s vision like a heat mirage. He could feel Nell’s heartbeat against his chest. Even as he craved Nell’s touch to reassure him that this was real, that they were really going to make it, a small savage thought slithered into Adam’s mind. 

What would it be like to feel that heartbeat stop?

Somehow Adam knew...without knowing how...that it’d make him strong, vital, ecstatically alive.

He pushed the thought away, hoping it was just some lingering trace of lycanthropy in his bloodstream reacting to the full moon.

Yeah, must be. 

His embrace tightened around Penelope, content to just hold her close and just ...be..for a little while, enjoying this unexpected act of mercy from the universe.