#even though she also feels a sense of loyalty to him FOR saving her especially given narn ideals

[lochley]

too many complicated feelings abt na'toth to cram into this drabble to explain the attitude she has in it and i think it is going 2 makje me look stupid <3

[dreamwavesexploringreality]

TRAITOR:

Niragi x reader

Requested: Niragi feels betrayed when his once-close ally sides with Chishiya to rebel against the Militants.

TW: Violence, Emotional manipulation, Physical abuse, Gun violence, Murder, Death threats, Betrayal.

--

If you asked Y/N what she regretted in her life, she would have a clear answer. She would say she regretted trusting that man, getting caught up in his charms, and betraying the only person who truly mattered to her. She would also say that she wished she had listened to Niragi when he warned her about the blonde, and even though she didn’t expect him to forgive her, she prayed that at least he would know her intention had never been to hurt him.

She had spent enough time in The Beah to start feeling comfortable there. She wasn’t stupid; she didn’t believe in the ideology that underpinned the principles of The Beach, nor did she trust the words of that eccentric man who called himself The Mad Hatter and was obsessed with loyalty. She also didn’t believe there could ever be anything or anyone that would make her reconsider all her convictions. But above all, she could never have imagined that she would betray the man she considered her friend, her other half. Her soulmate.

Soulmates don’t have to resemble each other to be one. Y/N was convinced of this since Niragi was the most different person she had ever known. Still, amidst their differences and disagreements, she always found her safe place in him. Whether in his arms during a particularly cruel game night, resting in his lap at the pool bar, or playing in the water on his back… they were made for each other; everyone in The Beach knew it. And he did too.

Chishiya had no particular interest in the girl, in the woman who had arrived at The Beach gates drenched in blood and struggling to balance on one leg. “Obvious contusion accompanied by visible bleeding,” Chishiya diagnosed from his position on the terrace. However, what caught his attention was the garment covering her torso: a shirt with an irregular pattern of black and white splotches resembling a leopard's skin. Chishiya would recognize that shirt anywhere, and alarms would ring in his head, but this time, the wearer of that singular garment sparked a deep curiosity within him that needed to be satisfied.

Days later, he learned that Niragi had saved her life in a game, staying behind to ensure that no one followed them. It seemed to have been a brutal game of hearts, one in which only two especially intimate people could have survived. The pieces of the puzzle quickly fell into place in the blonde man's mind, and he immediately recognized the power he held in his hands and was ready to use it.

Kuina had always been a good pawn. A charming, sociable, and friendly woman who could easily disarm anyone’s mental alarms. So it was no surprise when the woman, who he learned was named Y/N, opened up to her and told her her entire story. Niragi and Y/N, Y/N and Niragi… that’s how it had always been, and they hoped it would continue that way… Chishiya chuckled at the mere thought.

It didn’t take long for him to convince her that the best option to escape this dystopian world was to steal the cards. His theory made sense, and using Niragi as a pawn, he had the girl eating out of his hand.

“It’s the only way to get back to the real world. You can be with him and not fear that he’ll drop dead every time you blink,” he told her in a firm voice. Kuina trembled at his words.

Later, that new couple also wanted to join the plan. At first, they were reluctant, but Chishiya ensured they wouldn’t influence the girl’s mindset by feeding her each night with the worst possible scenarios for her life and Niragi’s. If she wanted to save herself, if she wanted to save him, she had to follow his plan.

By the time the strategy took shape, Y/N had already distanced herself from Niragi. She no longer went to their nightly meetings or waited for him in the dining hall to have breakfast together. She avoided contact with him since she knew, deep down, that what she was doing went against everything he stood for, and if he found out, he would stop her from continuing with it. She wouldn’t allow that. No matter how much it hurt to ignore the man and turn away every time he desperately searched for her with his gaze, she was doing it for him because she loved him and it was his life she wanted to protect.

A few nights before the big day, Niragi surprised her at her door and without giving her a chance to protest, pulled her inside, closing the door behind him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he said aggressively as he approached the girl who, startled, fell onto the bed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied robotically, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and keeping her gaze on the floor.

“It’s that blonde, isn’t it? I’ve told you a thousand times to stay away from him, but you never listen to me, and you’ll pay the consequences,” he shouted.

A few seconds of silence passed, during which tears began to fill the girl’s eyes. Perhaps it was the familiar scent or the tone of his voice, but her heart tightened in her chest, and she was on the verge of breaking down, of throwing herself into his arms and promising him she would never betray him. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t because a gentle knock at the door brought her back to reality. She was doing this for him.

Niragi opened the door, huffing with displeasure and frustration, facing the blonde man who had decided to meddle in his life and mess everything up.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were here. I was looking for Y/N,” Chishiya said in a calm voice, false surprise gracing his features along with a lazy smile. Of course, he knew Niragi was there; he had seen him pull his toy in with aggression, locking himself away with her in the room, probably trying to convince her of the mistake she was making by associating with him. He wasn’t going to allow that.

Chishiya playfully tilted his head to observe the girl sitting on the bed, frozen in place, probably having a mental breakdown.

“Y/N? Shall we go?” he said sweetly, extending his hand to urge her to come closer to him.

To Niragi’s surprise, the girl stood up and walked past him without looking at him. He felt her hand brush against his arm unintentionally and knew, call it intuition, that he had lost her.

The Niragi Chishiya knew would have chased him down the hall to reclaim what he considered his, but when he turned his head, he saw Niragi frozen in the doorway. Chishiya smiled, savoring the taste of his victory on his tongue.

And then it happened. Chishiya sent Arisu to enter the Mad Hatter’s suite while Y/N, Kuina, and Usagi kept watch at different points. He remained secure in a protected spot where he would never be incriminated if something happened. If you asked Chishiya, he would say he never intended for them to get caught. Yes, he had given Arisu a code that would undoubtedly trigger the alarm in the room, and yes, he had left Y/N in a particularly vulnerable position, but there was always a chance they wouldn’t be discovered, in which case the outcome for him would be the same as if Y/N and Arisu were caught and declared traitors.

Chishiya wasn’t surprised when he heard the alarm and rushed to feign concern to the higher-ups. He also wasn’t surprised to see all the Militants mobilizing to check what was happening in the Hatter’s room. What did surprise him was feeling a minimal, almost nonexistent, pang of guilt that intensified when he entered the room and saw the woman being violently held by one of the Militants.

Thinking clearly, Y/N had just been a pawn in his game. But it was Niragi’s expression that made him reconsider, for a brief moment, whether it should have been that way.

“Thanks for letting us know, Chishiya,” Aguni said, to which the man simply smiled and nodded.

For his part, Niragi, upon seeing Chishiya enter the high-ranking officers' room to inform them anxiously and agitatedly that the alarm was going off in the Hatter’s room, knew something was definitely wrong. His thoughts led him to the worst possible scenario, which became even worse when he entered the room and saw the woman he considered his soulmate being kicked on the floor.

At that moment, the world he knew crumbled into pieces, raising a cloud of dust that clouded his thoughts. He heard the girl’s cries, but for some reason, his vision was blurred, and he couldn’t see her. The rifle in his hands felt light, so light that he stopped feeling it, and when it fell to his feet with a dull thud, he returned to reality.

“Niragi, take these two traitors away. You know what to do,” Aguni ordered.

The man acted automatically, grabbing the girl by the arm as she writhed in his grip and dragging her out of the room. Behind him, two more men grabbed Arisu, who was nearly immobile from the beating, and hurried to follow. Niragi's feet carried him to his room. Maybe he sought the comfort of laying her down on his bed, holding her close, and waking up to realize it had all been a nightmare—but it wasn’t. The girl’s sobs assured him it was real, so real that it was probably the end of everything.

He sat the girl in a chair while the other men tied Arisu to another one with tape. Niragi positioned himself in front of Y/N, holding her firmly down by the shoulder, though there was no need since she had stopped struggling, and now only a steady stream of tears flowed down her cheeks, her gaze fixed on the wall in front of her.

“There, that’s it,” the men laughed as they finished tying Arisu up. “Want to do it?” They offered the tape to Niragi.

The man simply shook his head, watching as Arisu tried to keep his eyes open. He vaguely heard the men continue mocking the boy.

“Don’t you know what happens to traitors? Have you forgotten the rules? Let’s remind you: Death to the traitors!” Niragi felt the girl shudder under his hand, still resting on her shoulder, and her sobs grew louder.

“Get out,” he said suddenly, his voice hoarse and dry from holding it in for so long. It trembled slightly, and he feared it wasn’t authoritative enough to make the two militants leave the room.

Luckily, it was. The two men left, laughing and throwing threats about what was to come.

“Niragi will take care of you.”

“Say your goodbyes.”

When the door closed, the air in the room grew even heavier. Without looking at the girl, he removed his hand from her shoulder, already longing for the contact. He looked over at Arisu, who, despite his pitiful state, still glared at him defiantly. Niragi sighed and met Y/N’s eyes, from which tears still flowed steadily as she stared ahead. Niragi crouched in front of her and tried to wipe the endless flow of tears with his thumbs.

“Shh, shh... I know... I know, calm down. I’m here. Don’t cry, I’m here,” Niragi whispered. He didn’t notice Arisu turn his head, watching in surprise. “It’s okay... just calm down.”

A few minutes passed until the girl’s breathing became more or less steady, and the tears finally ceased. Niragi remained in that position the whole time, and when he saw she had calmed down, he stood up and gently stroked her head. Then he walked across the room to where his rifle rested against the wall. When Y/N saw the movement and the deadly weapon, she began to tremble again, on the verge of breaking down once more. Niragi noticed the change in her behaviour and walked slowly back toward her, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible, the rifle pointed at the ground. When he reached her, he crouched down again, running his fingers through her hair once more and this time leaning closer to her face. He kissed her softly, holding her with the arm that wasn’t holding the weapon. Niragi clung to that kiss, tasting the salt of her tears, and wished it would last a lifetime. But it didn’t. He slowly pulled his lips away from hers, and with tenderness, he turned her face to whisper in her ear.

“Close your eyes,” he murmured.

The girl started shaking her head frantically, hyperventilating and sobbing once again.

“Shh... shh... close your eyes, darling,” Niragi insisted softly, trying to still her movements.

With a shaky sigh, the girl did as he asked. She was tired of pretending, of carrying this burden that had weighed her down for weeks. She felt his touch leave her skin and heard her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Her breathing grew even heavier as she finally accepted the fate that awaited her, fighting the instinct to survive. She squeezed her eyes shut even tighter and tucked her hands beneath her thighs. She wouldn’t fight, she wouldn’t resist him. “What would be the point?” she thought. After all, everything she did, she did for him.

Two loud gunshots echoed through the room. And then, silence.

…

Sometime later.

Niragi knew very well the meaning of betrayal and its consequences. As a militant, he had sworn to protect The Hatter and act against anything that threatened The Beach’s hierarchy. He obeyed orders without questioning or probing beyond what he was told. Niragi had killed, yes. He had killed because he was told to, and he had never felt guilty about it. In all those bodies, he saw the people who had made his life hell for so long in the real world, and he had no regrets about ending the lives of every one of those traitors.

But it turned out that Niragi was also a traitor. He became one when he discarded Arisu’s body in a dumpster and carried Y/N’s limp form in his arms to the outskirts of The Beach, gently placing her in the back seat of a car and driving off into the night without permission.

He became a traitor when he helped Y/N out of the car and made her promise never to return to The Beach, and that if she ever encountered anyone who recognized her, she would kill them immediately.

But above all, he became a traitor when he got back into that vehicle, leaving the woman behind, a rifle on the ground, and a thousand words that would never be spoken.

© 2024 [@dreamwavesexploringreality]

---

Hey everyone! I’m so excited to finally share this imagine with you! It’s been a request I’ve been holding onto for a while, and I might’ve gotten a bit carried away while writing—oops! Sorry for the length, I just couldn’t help myself!😂

I really hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Your thoughts and feedback mean everything to me, so don’t hold back! 💬💖

Thanks for all your support, and I can't wait to bring you more soon!✨

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part fifteen

authors note: i hope everyone has recovered from the last chapter! just remember, there's, typically, light at the end of the tunnel!

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: violence, angst, language, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

faceclaims

words: 7k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @southerngirl41 @wanderingreigns

Alexis is going to jail.

She’s accepted as such and doesn't really care about that as much as she's curious about what the charges will be. Aggravated assault. Attempted murder. Actual murder. It’s all up in the air, each a very much real possibility. 

Truth be told, she’s wanted to put the paws on Mariah for years. And not even because Mariah has done anything outright, not close to this level anyways. It was just something about her that screamed fake and inauthentic. However, she recognized what friendship and loyalty meant to you, and while you’d mentioned a few arguments over the years, nothing was major enough for her to act on her violent urges.

Now though? 

Now, she’s ready to rain fire. 

She doesn’t give a flying fuck about traffic laws, well exceeding every speed limit she zooms through in order to make it to Mariah’s house. It’s an address that wasn’t too hard to find. Google is such a wonderful thing. She would have asked you for that information, but she also wants you as separate from what she’s about to do as possible. Especially with DCFS in the midst of an active investigation.

Just thinking about it pisses her off even more. It’s one thing to call DCFS on someone who’s arguably one of the best parents on this fucking earth, but it’s another to accuse said parents of the things Mariah accused you. 

It’s unforgivable. 

It’s also why Alexis won’t feel somewhat content until she spills Mariah’s blood. Pulling up into the driveway behind the parked Camry, Alexis shuts off the car, reaches for the bat in the passenger seat and slams the door behind her as she marches up the three steps to the front door. Her fists immediately start banging on the door. “Open the door, hoe!” More banging. “I know you in there! Come outside so I can crack ya’ fucking head open!”

Alexis isn’t stupid. She knows no one with common sense would open the door to anyone yelling such things. Cue: the bat. 

Moving across the porch, Alexis doesn’t hesitate to give a solid swing to the window, effectively cracking it. The second blow is the one, however, that shatters it. She kicks through the remnants and proceeds to climb in. 

With a possible element of surprise, Alexis opts to remain quiet, looking around the living room. She’s tempted to smash the TV but decides against it, as she’d much rather save her strength for blows against Mariah’s body.

Moving throughout the house, she’s lucky enough for the first door she kicks open to reveal her victim. 

But Mariah isn’t alone.

In a pleasant surprise. Alexis just so happens to walk in on Mariah receiving backshots from a man who quickly stumbles and looks back over his shoulder at her entrance. Alexis immediately recognizes him. 

Amir.

“Now ain’t this about a bitch!” Alexis' smile is wild and crazed as she watches Amir stumble to cover himself, Mariah’s eyes also wide with horror and shock as she holds the sheet to her chest. “A two for one special. My lucky fucking day.”

“What the hell?” Amir has managed to pull his boxers on and is standing near the bed, close to Mariah in an almost protective manner. Like that’ll keep her safe from Alexis' wrath. “Alexis? What the fuck are you doing?”

“I would ask ya’ll niggas the same thing, but ain’t no sense in stating the obvious.” She motions between the two of them with her steel bat. “How long?”

Mariah screams, the fear in her voice and eyes music to Alexis soul. “Get out of my house!”

“Oh, Imma leave, but not until you’re unconscious.” She looks toward Amir. “And if you try to get in my way, Imma knock your ass out too.” Alexis' hands are rated E for everyone. She fights females and males with equal smoke. “Now, I’m not gon’ ask again, how long have ya’ll been fucking behind Y/N’s back?”

Truth be told, Alexis wouldn’t trust a single word out of either of their mouths, but she’s curious. The answer regardless will aid in the intensity of her beating. 

Amir is the first to ‘answer’. “I don’t owe Y/N shit. She’s not my girl.” As if he has a right to be upset, he continues, anger painting his face. “I tried, but she chose to be with that nigga.” 

“And will every single mother fucking time because unlike you, he’s actually worth something and deserves her. Not like you two snakes.” It’s the fact that Amir thinks that he’s been done wrong in some way that blows her mind. He might be as delusional as the bitch he was just fucking. “I’m tired of talking. Get the fuck out my way, so I can knock this hoe’s head off.”

It’s when Alexis takes a step toward the bed that Amir extends his arm out, “wait, before you do this—”

“Do you even know what she did?” Alexis demands, grip on the bat tightening as she remembers holding you as you cried into her over having your child ripped away from you. The fear in Callie’s eyes. It enrages her all over again. “Ask the bitch! Go on, ask her!”

Amir is still understandably cautious and pissed at this intrusion, but his gaze still falls on Mariah. “What is she talking about?”

Mariah pauses and shakes her head, stuttering. “I–I don’t know. She’s–she’s crazy.”

“She’s a liar!” Alexis shouts, explaining to Amir. “She called DCFS on Y/N and made up all kind of lies!” She juggs the bat in the direction of that slime. “They took Callie away from Y/N because of her!”

It seems like there’s a sudden shift that Alexis recognizes as the tide gradually turning. She still thinks Amir is a piece of shit, but it does count for a tiny something that he looks absolutely disgusted by this revelation. His eyes narrow at Mariah. “You did what?” Mariah’s face gives away her guilt as he demands, “what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you do that!”

Clearly adept at deviating, Mariah attempts to redirect the focus. “You really gon’ believe this bitch over me!” 

Alexis laughs, throwing her head back. She’s really going to enjoy breaking this bitch jaw.

Amir seems heated now. Again, not that Alexis really cares. He’s not much better than this hoe in her book. “You got her child taken away from her, Mariah! What part of that do you not understand is fucked up! You’ve gone too fucking far!”

“If Callie got taken away, then she should have been doing a better job making sure her kid was straight instead of chasing a married around like a desperate who—”

Alexis lunges, literally lunges, across the room before Mariah can even finish her sentence. There’s a sickening crack that enters the air when her fist collides with Mariah’s nose. Mariah’s cry is sounded out by Alexis snatching her by her hair and banging her head into the headboard. “Say it, bitch! Say it so I can knock ya fucking teeth out your mouth.”

“Get off me!” Mariah screams, but it’s no use, Alexis blows are powerful and focused, knuckles burning from the impact with bone, not that it makes a difference to her. She’s only seeing and hearing red.

“I been wanted to stomp your hoe ass!” And Alexis does just that, dragging and tossing Mariah onto the floor and stomping her feet into Mariah’s side. 

Mariah is crying like a little bitch, screaming, “help me!” 

But Amir does nothing, just stands there watching as Alexis rains blow on top of blow, kick on top of kick to the broad he was just balls deep in minutes ago. It speaks volumes of his character, not that that was much to behold anyway.

However, it’s when she cries out again, “we got a fucking son together, Amir!”

This actually takes Alexis by surprise as she realizes what Mariah just said. She knows the bitch has a son, but she also knows this woman is married. Though estranged, still married. Is…..is Amir the biological father of her son? Has she really been messing with Amir long enough for him to possibly father her baby?

Is that why she’s estranged from her husband?

That’s a whole other layer that adds to the betrayal. Alexis starts mixing on Mariah again, ignoring the splatter of blood on her fists and the possibility that her child might be just a room or two away.

At least she still has her kid. 

“That’s enough.” Amir’s voice finally sounds from behind her, but Alexis is in the zone. She’s not letting up off this hoe. “Alexis, that’s enough!” And then he makes the cardinal mistake of trying to interfere, reaching to pull her off Mariah. Instantly, Alexis reaches behind and lands her fist against his face.

“Fuck!” He calls out. Alexis grabs the bat, swinging it across his knee. Amir cries out and falls on his back, cradling his knee. “You crazy bitch!”

“That’s right, I’m the crazy bitch that’s gon come back and fuck both ya’ll asses up again if you ever in your life try Y/N!” Alexis realizes Mariah is on the verge of losing consciousness, so she ensures she grabs her by her raggedy tracks. “You stay the hell away from her, you hear me? You even so much as utter her name, utter Callie’s name, and I’mma put you six feet under!” A final stomp to Mariah’s jaw is the last thing she sees before being knocked unconscious. 

Breathing heavy, Alexis looks around, pleased with her carnage only to see Amir starting to stand up, knee obviously fucked up. “I didn’t—I didn’t know.”

Alexis marches over to him and punches him square in his nose, satisfied with the crunch sound that follows. He curses loudly, hands over his nose that’s started to spurt out blood. 

“Bitch ass nigga,” she mutters, taking one final survey of the room and walking out, pleased with the results. She suddenly feels so much better, hungry but deeply satisfied. Curious, she asks a groaning Amir.

“Ya’ll got a McDonald’s in this town?”

—---------

The knock on the door is probably the first thing to make you feel anything in hours. You’ve just laid on the bed all day, staring at the empty wall across the room. The apartment is quiet. It’s never quiet. 

Not since you first brought Callie home from the hospital. You miss her giggles, her loud singing, the patterning of her feet as she runs into your room, jumping on the bed, rambling about the most random of things.

You wished that her being with your mom and not some random family would provide more comfort than it does, but as soon as you try to find some relief in that, your mind goes towards why she’s with your mom and the fact that you are legally barred from speaking to and interacting with the child you birthed and have raised since she first entered this world.

That’s when the tears come. You’re not sure there’s many left to be honest.

So, a knock on the door is the closest thing you have to hope, hope that someway, somehow, someone with enough pull was able to make all of this go away, make this nightmare of a reality a thing of fiction. 

Running to the front door, that hope is both dashed yet sustained when you rip it open. 

Turns out you’re wrong, there are definitely more tears left.

“Joe…”

You’re not sure who makes the move first, probably him, because the moment his eyes land on you, his expression softens into something sympathetic. 

He’s holding the back of your head as you cry into his chest, comforting you. And then it hits you. You pull away, holding onto his shirt, “did you see her? H-how is she?”

You made sure to emphasize that Joe needed to check in on Callie before coming to see you, not that it was something he needed to be told. You’re certain his first and foremost priority was checking in on Callie. 

He wipes at your eyes. “She’s okay.” It’s a safe answer, one that’s probably both partially and impartially true. How okay can she be in a situation like this? His response is more for your comfort than anything, you’re sure. “I got her down for bed before I left.” His eyes give you a one over. “When’s the last time you ate something?”

You’re certain you must look a mess. You also don’t care about that. You don’t really care about much to be honest. 

Still, it’s a valid question that takes you a second to contemplate. “I–I don’t know.” And before he can say something further, you inform, “I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat something.”

“No, I–what I need is to start getting this place together.” Pulling away from him, sniffling and wiping at your eyes, you motion around your apartment. “They’re doing the home inspection tomorrow.”

In between tears and depression, you’d received formal notice regarding the home visit where they’d evaluate the environment to ensure its appropriateness for a child as well as your emergency court date. 

Joe’s gaze is on you and lazily scans the room that’s more or less spotless. “It looks fine, Y/N.”

“Fine isn’t good enough, Joe,” your voice is firmer, a hint of irritation. “It has to be perfect so they can—” Without even realizing what’s happening, another unexpected set of tears arrives, your voice cracking. “—so they can give my baby back to me.”

He guides you back into his chest, comforting you as the next set of waterworks overcomes you. You’ve always hated crying, always found it irritating because it was hard to control, even harder to stop. This is all of those things. 

“I can’t believe she would—would do this to me.” That’s the part you still can’t wrap around. How could you not see what kind of person Mariah was? You’ve always thought you were a good judge of character. This was Callie’s legal godmother for fucks sake. “Do you know what she said about me? What she said I was going to do—” Your mouth watering and stomach twisting alerts you to what’s about to come, and you dash away from him to the bathroom where you fall to your knees, vomiting into the toilet. 

Joe is behind you not even minutes later, hand on the small of your back as you cry over that same toilet. There’s a level of appreciation for him being here with you in this moment, but it still doesn’t wholly ease that dull ache in your chest. 

Getting cleaned up, Joe doesn’t take no for an answer when he says that he’s going to make you something to eat and you’re going to eat. Deep down, you know he’s right. Not only are you teetering on sleep deprivation, but the lack of food in your system is eventually going to take a toll. And you need to be at your absolute best the next few days. 

However, even with his delicious cooking and emotional support, it’s not enough to keep your emotions at bay because you end up right back at that toilet, depositing everything you just tried to consume.

You just feel so off, so incomplete, because you are. 

Because you don’t know you’re supposed to proceed without your child. How you’re supposed to proceed and act like your world hasn’t been turned upside down, like you’re not in a position where you have to prove that you’re a fit parent. 

Something you could have never imagined you’d be having to prove. This whole situation, nightmare, has pushed you so much farther in the direction of wanting to move.

Mariah’s play has stolen your sense of security in this town, the place you’ve always called home. It feels like you’ll never be able to feel comfortable again so long as she’s also a resident. Blocking her on all platforms isn’t enough. You don’t want her to have any access to you or Callie whatsoever.

And that can only be done with moving. 

A small part of you considers talking with Joe about you and Callie staying at his place in Florida for the time being until you find a house. And you hate that, the idea of uprooting your and Callie’s life so suddenly. Not even being able to stay until the end of the school year, not being able to give your students the proper time to transition and adjust to your departure.

But you have to think about your family, your child, and what’s best for her.

It's starting to become more and more clear that the best thing you can do at this point is leave.

If not the only thing. ________

“She finally sleep?”

After treating herself to McDonalds, Alexis casually reached out to her legal team to let them know she could be facing a couple of charges and to be ready to bail her out once the warrant was issued. They were already fast ahead in working towards a plan to get said charges dismissed, so she's honestly not concerned at all.

And even if they aren’t dismissed, she doesn't mind. 

She’d do it all over again if she had to. 

So, after getting cleaned up and settling her affairs, she headed back over to the apartment to check on you. Alexis wasn’t surprised to find you still heavily upset, but the physical sickness was hard to watch. She’s so grateful that you listened to her and called Joe. She can’t imagine you going through this without his support.

“I got her to agree to take Benadryl.” Joe’s eyes are focused on the island as he sits down at the barstool and leans back. Alexis hasn’t been around Joe a ton, but that’s not needed to tell he’s a myriad of emotions right now, primarily anger. He adds, clearly concerned, “she can’t keep anything down.”

“She’s a wreck,” Alexis says as kindly as she can, because it’s the ugly truth. She’s always known you to be so calm and composed. This is anything but. Yes, there were a couple moments where you lost your temper. But post Callie? You’ve been the textbook definition of what it looks like to be a picture of calmness in a storm. 

Now….now you’re just a disaster.

Not that a single soul could blame you.

“How is Callie? Like, really?” Alexis isn’t sure if asking him this right now is the right move, but she’s genuinely curious. She’d take a bet that he played it down for the sake of your current mental state.

“Confused. Sad as hell. Doesn’t know why the fuck she’s just been ripped from her mother for no reason.” His anger is palpable and completely understandable. 

Alexis listens, working to control her own anger. Mariah’s beating wasn’t good enough. “It’s fucked up. That’s for sure.”

His jaw is clenched as she states, boldly, “I’ve gotta get them out of this damn town.” 

Alexis looks at him, partially not following his statement. “Aren’t they already moving to live with you?

“Yes, at the end of the summer, but that’s not soon enough.” She hears what he’s saying, but she isn’t quite sure about the realistic aspect of what he clearly wants at this point. “I need them out of here now.”

Alexis takes a second before responding, not wanting to further upset him. Typically, she doesn’t give two shits about how her words are perceived, but this is an entirely different situation. “You’re not wrong, Joe, but Y/N can’t just up and leave—”

“We don’t have much of a fucking choice, Alexis.” His tone, if not for the current circumstances, would be completely unacceptable. He’s talking to her like she’s a child, but Alexis knows emotions are high, so she sets aside her pride. “I don’t want that bitch anywhere near them.” 

Careful with her words, she counters calmly, “you know there’s a chance Y/N's not going to like that.” 

Alexis knows you, and knows that you like order. You’d want to properly close out the year, have time to say goodbye. Then again, after something like this, she’s not actually 100% sure where you’d stand on moving sooner than initially planned.

Joe then brings up a valid point. “It’s not about what she likes and doesn’t like. It’s about Calista and what’s best for her.” He’s not wrong, Alexis won’t deny him that. “Mariah is fucking psychotic, and I’m not taking any more chances with her pulling anymore shit like this. I’ve already contacted my lawyers to see what options we have there.”

Joe lawyering up makes all the sense in the world. It’s probably the smartest decision for him and Y/N, which is why she’s so grateful she stopped you from catching an unnecessary charge. “I can beat her ass again once she gets released from the hospital. It was quite therapeutic actually.” Alexis is slightly pleased to hear Joe chuckle at her words, even if she’s being completely honest. “I’ll tell you this, but don’t tell Y/N. She’s got enough she’s dealing with.” 

Joe is quick to assert. “I don’t like keeping things from her.”

Ignoring his counter, Alexis supplies, “Mariah was fucking Amir when I got there. Like, I literally caught them in bed.” 

As expected, Joe looks taken back, “what?”

She nods and adds, “but that’s not it. When the stupid bitch was begging for him to help her, she said they have a son together.” Lowering her voice in case you somehow fought the powers of Benadryl, she concludes, “I think Amir is the biological father of her kid,”

“Son of a bitch,” he mutters. Joe is suddenly wishing he acted upon impulse instead of logic and beat the shit out of Amir that night he had the chance. That bastard really was a scumbag. He’s also partially wishing he’d tagged along with Mariah. Joe would never put his hands on a woman, but Amir? He’d be laid out in the hospital just like Mariah is. “Just how long have they been messing around?”

“Long enough for her to get knocked up by him.” She shakes her head, trying to settle the growing anger. “God, I hate her ass. Him too, but definitely her. How do you just fuck your best friend’s ex like that? When you know she’s fucking him too? Fuckin nasty ass hoe.” 

He won’t disagree, sharing, “you probably already know this, but Mariah used to mess with Randy Orton, and he'd said she ended up being clingy and crazy when he broke it off.” 

“Really?” Alexis remembers you mentioning to her that Mariah was sleeping with a wrestler around the same time you first got with Joe but nothing about how it ended. “That lines up.”

“I never really paid much attention to it, because she wasn’t relevant to me, and Orton was an ass back in the day, so I took it with a grain of salt.” A heavy frown appears on his handsome face. “Clearly, that was a mistake.”

Realizing what’s happening, she shakes her head. “Oh my god. Not you too.” She jumps into her therapist mode, nearly repeating exactly what she’d said to you this morning. “This is no one’s fault except for Mariah. Not yours. Not Y/N’s, just that raggedy hoe.” 

Joe tries his best to heed to Alexis’s advice. “You’ve never liked her, right?” Alexis nods aggressively. “Why?” 

“I always felt like she was jealous of Y/N. Like….she benefited way more from her friendship with Y/N than Y/N did. When we were in college, Y/N was popular and well liked, and I get the sense that that’s always been the case. Mariah clearly benefited from that, so the jealousy wasn’t as bad, not enough for Y/N to notice it anyway.” Alexis starts to speculate, though she feels it’s more fact than hypothesis. “But then you come back in the picture, and the tide turns. Y/N gets the guy, the kid, the happy family. And then on top of all that, homegirl finally gets exposed, so Y/N, rightfully, cuts her off. But psycho-riah wasn’t having that.”

Laying it all out like that makes sense to both Joe and Alexis. It’s obvious Mariah is disturbed, because only a person not right in the head would do what she’s done. All of the things she’s done. But maybe it never got this bad because she and Y/N were always around the same level, both living in this small ass town, just raising their kids. 

Then he came in the picture, and she got jealous. 

It makes sense.

It also pisses him the fuck off. 

“This probably isn’t the right time to ask this, but I’m gonna do it anyway, because you never know when my warrant is gonna become active.” There’s such a casualness and nonchalant manner regarding how Alexis refers to her pending arrest, like it’s not that big a deal. And for her, it really isn’t. She knows her lawyers will most likely have her out on bond and charges dropped or dismissed by the end of the week. Hence her prying. “But just when in the hell do you plan to propose to Y/N?”

It’s definitely a 180 in topics that Joe wasn’t expecting, especially when she continues.

“I know it’s gotta be coming soon, because it’s obvious you love the mess out of her and want to be with her forever, but when, sir? Don’t be having my girl out here as a glorified girlfriend for too long, cause I don’t care how big you are, you can catch that Mariah Edition beating right along with her.” Joe smiles, shaking his head. It’s a much needed break from all the heaviness of the day. “And you best not get her knocked up again before it happens.” She considers her words and retracts. “Then again, ya’ll both freaky as hell and fuck like rabbits, so maybe that one is a stretch.”

With a casual shrug, Joe goes for his response. “Who says I don’t al—”

“Wait. Don’t say anything.” She interrupts, hands up as if remembering something. “I suck at keeping secrets, and I’m sure you’re gonna go all out for the proposal, so don’t tell me shit.” She nods, as if trying to convince herself that this is the safest and best route. “Just make sure I get an invite to the wedding. Then again, I’ll just show up anyway regardless.”

He has zero doubt she won’t.

But while Alexis' random tangent brings about brief relief, his mind easily switches back to the major issue at hand. 

“You know I’m right, Lex.” He looks at her, again reiterating, “they can’t stay here.” It’s in expressing her theory about Mariah aloud that helps Alexis realize Joe’s even more valid in his stance than she thought. “I can’t have this happen again. Y/N and Callie can’t have this happen again especially. They’re both a mess.” He looks down, jaw clenching. “I can’t see them go through this again.” 

There’s no desire or basis to argue. Alexis can’t imagine how difficult this must be for him as well. To see all this happening, to see the two people he loves the most be in pain and not be able to do anything about it. 

It’s gotta be torture.

She finally settles on a simple, basic answer. “You’re right.”

Joe is quiet for a few moments, expression indicating he’s searching and trying to navigate something. Alexis watches as he suddenly pulls out his phone, typing hurriedly. She figures he's sending a text to someone when he finally says, “I need you to do something for me.”

There’s not a second of hesitation. “Consider it done.”

“Good.” He doesn’t waste any time, recognizing every moment that passes is precious. “How quickly can you get a flight out to Florida?”

________

Before agreeing to take the tiny pink pill of sleep damnation, you made Joe promise to wake you up at 7am sharp. The home inspection was scheduled for 3pm, but you have something you need to do before then.

And Joe is true to his word, stirring you awake not a minute past 7.

Despite his protest and disagreement, you skip breakfast. It’s going on two days since you’ve actually had and retained a meal, but you can’t bring yourself to do so, your abs already sore from all the contractions that come with vomiting.

So, you settle on coffee and get to cleaning. Joe helps you, though there’s not much to be done, just little things that the average person wouldn’t pay much attention to. But, you’re not taking any risks. Your place needs to be as spotless as humanly possible. 

And you need to look as good as you can, so you spend much more time than necessary in the shower, scrubbing your body clean, shaving every piece of hair that doesn’t need to be there. All very much over the top, but you don’t care. You need to feel prepared. 

You even take on the daunting task of laying your mass of curls into a slick top bun. In your opinion, it’s always made you look ten times more professional. Even if it does take ten times as long to accomplish because of all your hair. 

Still, worth it. Everything is worth it if it means having your daughter back in your custody. 

It’s why you dig through your closet for the nicest set of business professional attire that you own, some nice dress pants and a white blouse that beautifully compliments your complexion. 

The top has always been a little snug around your chest, which is expected, even if feeling a little tighter than usual.

What you don’t expect or need is to slide on said pants only to find out you can’t get them to snap. Even the jump and wiggle to better adjust it over your ass and thighs isn’t enough to secure the button.

You stand there for a moment, only briefly stumped. You’re realizing that one of your earlier assumptions before this whole mess was correct.

You’ve put on weight.

It was something you first started to notice when you looked again at the post Alexis made of you on your Instagram. You could see it a little in your face, but mostly your ass and thighs. Thankfully, you’ve always typically carried your weight in all the right places. And it isn’t anything too crazy, maybe something only you notice because you know your body better than anyone.

But, it’s enough to where your go-to pants no longer fit. 

It’s not too concerning, especially with everything else you have going on. You’ve always yo-yo’d a bit with your weight and interestingly enough, the same happened in the months after your first meeting with Joe all those years ago.

“Happy weight,” you’re sure Alexis would call it. 

Sliding them off, you settle on another pair, close to your favorites and a size bigger. They snap closed, and that little thing makes you feel instantly relieved.

It’s another thirty minutes before you finally exit the bedroom, face beat in neutral yet professional makeup. Joe moves from where he was texting on the sofa and approaches you.

Concern is etched in the crinkles around his eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“No. I—I got this. Go—go spend the day with Callie.” Because I’d do anything to be able to do just that. “You probably shouldn’t even be here around me.”

It’s partially true. Joe isn’t even on Callie’s birth certificate, so as far as the law is concerned, you’re the only parent under investigation. Still, the irrational fear is strong that they’ll find some reason to add him to the investigation if they find out he’s been interacting with both you and Callie.

You can’t even think about what hell it would be if Joe was also barred from having any engagement with Callie.

You couldn’t handle it. Callie couldn’t handle it. And Joe wouldn’t stand for it. You know that for certain. He wouldn’t give a damn what the law stated.

“Yeah, that’s not fucking happening.” His dismissal is swift and firm. You have a feeling there isn’t a force on earth that could keep him from being with you right now. From being around Callie. “Are you sure you don’t want to try to eat something?”

Shaking your head, you explain. “No. I can’t risk vomiting again. I drank some Gatorade. I’ll be fine.” You don’t have a choice. Voice softening, you apologize again. “I’m so sorry about all of this. I had no idea she could ever—“

He stops you before you can get choked up. Joe's hands are on your face, comforting, “none of this is your fault, and I don’t blame you for anything. None of it.” His thumb brushes softly against your cheek. “But….but I do think we need to discuss moving up the move date for you and Callie.”

“I know.” You're certain he expected more of a push back from you, some level of argument, but he won’t find it. Mariah has taken that right away from you. “We—we can talk about it more later, okay?”

Understandably, he’s pleased and brings his hand to your hip, giving a gentle squeeze. “You should get going.” He’s right. The sooner you tackle this, the sooner you can focus on nailing this visitation. 

He kisses your forehead, lips lingering as he murmurs, “I love you.”

You’ll never get tired of hearing those words leave his mouth, needing to hear them now more than ever. You’re so grateful for him and all he does. “I love you too.”

You’re grabbing your purse and keys off the key holder on the wall when he calls out your name. 

“Mariah didn’t say anything to you before this, right? Outside of the exchange that day you told me about?” His question takes you by surprise, and he adds, probably not wanting you to feel like you’re on the witness stand. “My lawyers want to know if we can establish a paper trail.”

He’d mentioned reaching out to his legal team to see what recourse was available, but it isn’t something you’re overtly thrilled about. You understand where he’s coming from, but that’s not a route you’re sure you want to go down. Legal battles, from what you know, can get really ugly. And there’s a massive fear that somehow Callie will get dragged into the mess, forced to answer to lawyers and judges.

Your baby’s been traumatized enough already.

It’s why you decide on an answer that’s not the truth, but what you feel is best for your daughter. Once this is all said and done, you just want to put this all behind you and focus on your family.

Besides, there’s nothing else Mariah can do at this point, no lower she can stoop.

“No.” Even as it leaves your mouth, there’s a deep, nagging feeling that you’ve made the wrong decision not being honest with him. “She never said anything.”

—---------

“Is Dr. Sawyer available?”

Your voice is strong, firm, the exact opposite of everything you’ve felt over the past 48 hours. It’s a great display of fake confidence. 

The receptionist looks up with a surprisingly friendly smile. “I’m sorry, do you have an appointment or—”

“I’m an old friend. I really need to talk to him. It’s, uhh, it’s an emergency.” It may be a bit of a stretch to call your desire to get some questions answered an emergency, but you’ll say and do whatever it takes to get Kai’s attention. “Tell him it’s Y/N.”

She asks you to give her a few minutes, and you decide to take a seat in the waiting area. Pulling out your phone, you text Joe to let him know you’ve made it here and ready to text your mom when you suddenly remember.

That’s been the other hard part of this debacle. Going through one of the hardest things you’ve ever endured and not being able to talk to your mom about it. If you had to choose between her guidance and your daughter being put under her care, you’d go with the latter every single time.

But that doesn’t take way the sadness you have at not being able to talk to your own mother. 

“Y/N?”

Lifting your attention form your phone, you’re met with Kai Sawyer’s signature smile. 

He looks both surprised and relieved to see you.

“Hi. I’m sorry to bother you—”

“No. Not a bother at all.” He sits down on the seat opposite of you, and given the only couple people in the ER are on the other side of the waiting room, you decide this is a safe place to talk. “I’m actually happy to see you Y/N.”

There’s something wary about his tone of voice, like he’s hinting at something he won’t outright say. That’s when you remember the sole reason Kai was even inserted into your life again, and it hits you. “DCFS spoke to you, didn’t they?”

It makes all the sense. Callie was rushed to the emergency room and had to undergo emergency surgery. You’re certain her medical records are also being reviewed, that kind of incident standing out to investigators.

Kai might be aware of the anxiety that’s starting to grow and proceeds to explain. “Yes, and I told them it was absolute bullshit.” His face takes on a look of disgust and irritation. “That it’s been years since I’ve seen a child so deeply connected and bonded with a parent like I saw with you and Callie. Her appendicitis and subsequent surgery was completely happenstance, and you did everything right.”

His words bring tears to your eyes. You know you’re a good mom and did the best you could that night, but it means a lot that Kai would defend you so staunchly who are trying to determine just that. “Thank you, Kai.”

“I didn’t say anything that was a lie.” His expression is sympathetic. “I’m really sorry this is happening to you, Y/N. Do you have any idea who made the call?”

“That’s actually why I’m here.” You blot at your eyes, not wanting to test the hold of this waterproof mascara. “Do you remember when you told me you were happy I got away from Mariah and Amir?”

“Yeah, why?” His eyes widen with shock. “Wait, did they—“

“It was Mariah.” Swallowing, there’s a bit of an edge in your voice as you explain. “That’s why I’m here. I need to know just who the hell I’ve called a best friend all these years, so much so that I made her Callie’s legal godmother.”

“Whoa, I thought—-you were still friends with her after all these years?” You shake your head yes, and he looks truly apologetic. “I’m sorry, I just thought—”

“That I’d been smarter? Yeah, me too.” Aside from depression and apathy, you’re struggling with beating yourself up for not recognizing sooner what kind of person Mariah truly is. How your oblivion could be strong. “Please, tell me what you know.”

He blows out a deep breath and leans back into the chair. “Well, I mean there’s no easy way to say this, but Mariah and Amir have been messing around since we were in high school.”

Your stomach drops. 

That’s…..that’s not what you were expecting to hear.

In a whispered, pained voice, you ask, “what?”

He sighs and runs his hand over his face. “I don’t mean to get too personal, but I know it started around the time Amir was trying to pressure you into sleeping with him.” If not for the nature of the conversation, you’d find it a little adorable how he’s obviously trying his best to remain respectful. Kai has always been a genuinely decent guy. “He would constantly complain about you not ‘putting out’ around the locker room and during practice. And once he started hooking up with Mariah, he’d always brag about sleeping with the both of you.”

There’s so much to digest here. You’d figured Mariah and Amir were messing around after his slip around Christmas, but you figured it was a recent development. Now, you’re hearing that the girl you’ve considered a sister almost your whole life has been sleeping with the boy you once thought you loved from the very beginning?

“The times you couldn’t make it to parties, they’d be all over each other, but no one said anything because—”

“Because it was Amir,” you finish for him with a whisper. “He was the king of the school. No one would snitch on him, especially not his teammates.” You’re very familiar with the hierarchy and patriarchy of high school. You were the queen, just as much as he was the king, and everyone knew that you and Amir were always back and forth. They probably figured that you knew, or maybe they didn’t. You’re not so worried or stunned by just how many people knew and didn’t say anything. It doesn’t matter at this point.

What matters is that Mariah has always been a snake, a snake you brought around your child.

The child she got taken from you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t say anything either—”

“No, don’t. You didn’t owe me anything.” It’s the two people who claimed to love and care about you who should have been honest. “I should apologize to you for dragging you into that bullshit. I’m really sorry, Kai. You didn’t deserve that.”

“We were kids, Y/N. Didn’t know any better.” Kai is clearly as uninterested in an apology from you as you are from him. “I’m sorry if this is too personal, but are you and Amir still….”

“No.” Just the thought alone nearly has you back to retching into the nearest toilet. “We were on and off friends with benefits since, well, high school. Outside of when I was with Callie’s dad for three years, but now Joe and I are back together. Have been for months.” There’s a small hint of excitement, the first non-sad emotion you’ve experienced in the past two days as you inform, “Callie and I will be moving to Florida to live with him.”

“Good.” Kai seems genuinely happy and pleased to hear this. “Hell, as a man, I can imagine he’d get you both on a plane out of here today if he could.” A small, sad chuckle leaves your mouth at his words. He’s probably not wrong. “You should have been left this place, Y/N. You deserve better. Always did. Get out of here and have a fresh start.”

The encouragement isn’t required but deeply appreciated. His openness and honesty provide you with a slither of relief. The information shared is something you’ll have to process at a later date and time, but it does answer some necessary questions you needed answered.

There’s no doubt in your mind at this point that leaving is absolutely what you need to do.

You just need to get through this nightmare first.

[twisted-confessions]

https://www.tumblr.com/cheekinpermission/746227919612936192?source=share

Hope not late! 25 , 5 and 28👀👀

Nope not late at all!!

25. Which character(s) would you actively avoid? Personally, you would not see me anywhere near Vil, Rook or Sebek.

I can appreciate Vil's efforts to have people more self-confident in their own image however I absolutely despise how forceful he goes about it, especially with Epel and the dance troupe. If I EVER caught him trying to change parts of myself that I'm proud of (my australian accent, my nerdy sense of fashion, etc.) it would be ON SIGHT- (Can you tell I'm still not over Book 5?)

For Rook, i can say I..... respect his dedication and loyalty to his beliefs. However? That man... he scares me... Also, i'm still extremely salty over the VDC/SDC results WE SHOULD HAVE WON THAT AND WE LOST TO THE TWST EQUIVILANT OF BABY SHARK- Rook, i don't care about your reasonings for why we weren't at our best, I've seen the video performance AND THE NRC TRIBE FUCKING NAILED IT!!!

And then our croccy boi- Now don't get me wrong, I do love Sebek as a member of the first year gang of idiots. I also don't know a lot about him personally since I've only known him in events and havent started Book 7 yet. From what I have seen, he does annoy me a lot with his blatant disregard and disrespect to anyone who isn't Malleus or Lilia. His ego and his racism also really piss me off and make me wanna slap some sense into him. I understand it comes from a place of self-loathing but dude, PLEASE read the room for once and not screech our ears off. I'm certain that I would eventually befriend him but if we actually met face to face, it would be a miracle for me to not punch him 1 minute after his insults.

5. If you could have any unique magic / signature spell in the game, which would you choose and why?

Ooooh I've never thought about that until now actually. Personally, i would want something that would be useful and practical both in a day to day life or in a fight since I'm not very physically strong. Going with that idea, i'd more than likely pick either Split Card or Paint The Roses/Doodle Suit. Multiple me's to help me do chores around the house or distract someone in a fight? YES PLEASE!! I also have a lot of sensory issues so I feel like Paint the Roses would really help me eat the things i need to or make a certain texture that feels funny to me turn comfortable. We've also seen how useful it can be in a fight during Riddle's Overblot when Trey turned the rosebush into cards and saved us.

If just for fun though, I'd love to try out any of Savanaclaw's UM's/SS's. Now THAT would be chaotic heheh.

28. What is the TWST related content that you've produced that you are most proud of?

I personally really love my HTTYD x TWST fic that i've been writing. Knowing myself, I probably wont ever finish/post it so I'll have what I've written linked here for anyone who's interested in my favourite brainworm lol. Bella is a very special oc near and dear to my heart as she's the first one that I've enjoyed writing for since being kicked out of home over a year ago. She gave me back my creativity and I couldn't be more thankful for it.

Right now, I've even been imagine a Fairly OddParents x TWST fic in my head which I think would be a BLAST to write, where my Twisted version of Timmy Turner (a girl called Izzy) would use their rule free wish to be a part of Wanda, Cosmo and Poof/Peri's family as their bio daughter when they're no longer her godparents and becomes a half-fairy hybrid in the process. The idea of a "magicless" girl at NRC who out of nowhere suddenly can not only make but GRANT wishes that bend the laws of reality around her is absolutely hilarious to me. Haha take that you pricks, you thought I was weak? BOOM you're a hedgehog, now you really are a prick. Rewatching FOP and seeing how Timmy can be such a menace/pos really makes me think he would fit in GREAT amongst NRC lol.

I'm also really proud of the Card edits I've done for other people where I turn their OC's into different rated cards so it looks like it's from the game. Seeing all the different kinds of OC's and hearing about their characters is so amazing.

Feel free to send in any more asks or questions!! I love interacting with the Twst Community <3

[theamityelf]

Revisiting the AU where Izuru kidnaps memory-erased Makoto.

Izuru had been taught that the untalented are holding everyone back. He's introduced to the students of Hope's Peak, and he meets Makoto and pretty immediately goes "Luckster, average in every way, I can ignore him."

Except he can't ignore him.

He notices him. Makoto is friends with everyone in his class, including the more isolated in their ranks. He is many of the Ultimates' go-to person to chat with or ask favors of. Izuru would already have to upgrade him from non-entity status to entity status just on the basis of how gregarious and present he is.

But to add to that, he talks to Izuru. Often when he sees Izuru, he greets him and asks him how he's doing, even though Izuru's taciturn responses have done nothing to encourage the behavior. When Izuru tests him by actually giving an answer about what he's up to, Naegi gives replies like, "Whoa, that sounds hard! Is anyone helping you with that?" or "Oh, is that something you like doing?" and other things that are just bizarre from Izuru's perspective.

Naegi is untalented, save for his "luck", but he isn't holding his class back, and it isn't his luck that keeps him from holding them back.

And Izuru finds himself looking for Naegi when other members of the 78th class are present. Taking the extra millisecond to spot him in crowds. Tuning into his conversations in passing. He literally can't ignore him. His brain has become especially aware of him.

"He's dating Kyoko, you know," Enoshima says, because of course she notices even though Izuru hasn't mentioned Naegi to her once.

And of course he knows that Naegi is dating Kirigiri. The two aren't overly affectionate in public, but it's clear from the way they gravitate together, the things they say, the smiles on their faces when the other does something thoroughly in-character.

He wasn't thinking about being with Naegi in the way Kirigiri was, until Enoshima brought it up. Not consciously. He hadn't parsed his active distaste for Kirigiri, his mind's ungenerous fault-finding whenever she said or did anything, as related to his interest in Naegi.

Now that he does, he's relieved. He's identified the unresolved thing. He wants Naegi. It makes sense; Naegi is friends with every Ultimate, and Izuru is every Ultimate, in a manner of speaking.

As long as he wants Naegi, Kirigiri is inherently undeserving.

So he gets Naegi alone one day and explains things to him.

And Naegi gives him a sad smile and says, "Wow, Izuru, I'm really flattered! You're really great. But I'm actually dating Kyoko already..."

Izuru stares at him for a second, confused by the idea that this is at all an obstacle. He tries to feel out Naegi's perspective. "And...you don't want to hurt her feelings?"

Naegi looks uncomfortable. "I mean, that is part of it, but also I just like Kyoko, and I like dating her. You're really cool, and I like talking to you! It's just...Kyoko and I have been dating for months now, you know?"

"Yes, I know," Izuru answers swiftly. He feels dazed by the unexpected turn of events. On some level, it's a good feeling; he enjoys the unexpected, and he enjoys this new insight into Naegi's character, his wholesome loyalty.

Of course, he hates that it's being wasted on Kirigiri. He can be everything she is and more. But the fact that Naegi's loyalty reaches such absurd levels will make it all the more valuable when it is his.

Which means he shouldn't try to break it. Naegi's loyalty can't be the point of attack; he wants Naegi's full, unweathered capacity for attachment when they are together.

"Bummer," Enoshima coos. "You look so despairfully heartbroken!"

"I'm fine," he says. He knows that she will make her own assumptions about what his icy tone means. "I just need to end the world."

She grins. "Now you're talkin'."

He kills the Student Council, stokes the Tragedy. He goes along with everything Enoshima slides into place. When the 78th class is locked in the school, he isn't with them, but he makes sure he has plenty of eyes and ears in the building, even before Enoshima hijacks the airwaves for her killing game. He spends his time securing a perfect living space for himself and making sure it's well-equipped with everything he will need, which includes setting up a machine for memory erasure and, one can only assume, testing it on people.

(Because when he said "And the process won't hurt. I've made sure of it," in that one post, he must mean that something was done to ensure that the procedure isn't painful.

Depending on how grim one wants this AU to be, you could decide that the process didn't hurt in the first place and whoever he tested it on was completely unharmed. There's a somewhat comedic interpretation where after he tests it on someone he's got a little survey like "On a scale from 1 to 10, please rate your pain," and he gives them a treat on the way out.

Or one could go the grim route where people were in there screaming and he was just standing next to the machine, stoic, like "Not morphine, then. But at least in this subject the pain seems to stop after the procedure ends. Hmm. Not good enough for Naegi, but noticeably improving." The mental image of Izuru practicing mad science on other people like what was done to him interests me. If he is a more ethical and considerate doctor than the ones who made him, then that's a great break-the-cycle thing. If he's just as callous and dehumanizing as the ones who made him, or even more so, then there's a real feeling of misplaced retribution that is also fun. Like, he's not enjoying it as an act of revenge, but it's just a direct consequence of who they made him to be and the cruelty they showed him.)

Anyway.

After a year has passed, he returns to Hope's Peak. He slips in undetected by anyone inside or out.

He's a little early; he has to watch Naegi and Kirigiri continue to spend time together for a couple of days. But then, finally, Ikusaba drugs them all with a smoke bomb and they're dragged off to have their memories erased.

An hour later, he goes upstairs and finds Naegi strapped to a bed and drooling in his sleep, and he skims whatever monitors are present, to know that the procedure went as intended and his vitals are fine, and then he unstraps him and gathers him into his arms.

I'm torn between having Junko, Mukuro or both be the ones to try and stop him, but for the sake of this already-long post, I'm going to say Junko is in the Monokuma Control Room shooting Jin into space or whatever, so she doesn't know anything's amiss. Mukuro questions why Izuru is there, but he just warns her not to try and stop him or he will ruin her sister's game.

[rose-reveries]

⚠️BEWARE THE EPISODE 4 PJO SPOILERS⚠️

Episode 4: The things I like, the things I don’t, the things I miss but I’m okay with them not being there

The things I liked about the new episode:

I liked the conversation at the beginning in the train. Very reminiscent of the book where we get to learn a little bit more about Annabeth and how she arrived at camp. I found it interesting how here we changed it from Annabeth’s father always resenting her birth to Annabeth’s father considering her “a gift” until her step-mother came along. I don’t mind this change at all and all in all still makes sense as to why Annabeth ran away when she was 7.

“But at least with gods you know the rules” okay Miss Chase your autism is showing (/j)

The flow from seeing the centaurs (which is something I believe only Percy saw in the books) to letting this be how Grover opens up about Pan and why he wants to be a searcher was a nice little combination of scenes to save time. We still understand how Grover feels about humans and their mistreatment of nature but it’s just in a slightly different way than the books and I’m okay with that change.

The BANTER between the trio was SO good this episode. You can really feel the bonds between these characters (especially Percy and Annabeth) forming this episode.

The pacing in this episode finally started to feel a little bit better than the first 3 episodes. I actually do think the change in how they meet Echidna helps with this because it prolongs the hunt whereas in the book the Echidna and Chimera scene IS quite short and fast. Meeting Echidna on the train, having them run and try to heal Percy, Percy gets worse, Percy sacrifices himself to let the other two get away, fight scene, he falls into the river, etc. Just way better pacing than like, for example, episode one where Alecto literally just flies at him and without moving he stabs her and she dies 💀

Okay, my FAVORITE new thing about the episode does have to be making the Arch a temple to Athena. If the gods still rule but have adapted to the west it makes total sense that they still have temples but they’re just modern American landmarks. Super cool and I loved this change.

Also, rather than Annabeth and Grover just heading down in the elevator before learning there’s a monster, I do like Percy stepping in and sacrificing himself to let them get away. It shows his loyalty to his friends, and how he would rather fight a monster than let them die without reason.

Since the Arch is a temple and Athena had to give Echidna permission to enter, and she did so due to Annabeth’s impertinence, this REALLY helps with the shows current message of heroes and monsters and what those terms mean, but also just how the gods are like BAD. I think it’ll help make Luke’s reasoning for turning on the gods make SO much sense for new audience members.

Percy and Annabeth banter?? ADORABLE

TOTALLY CALLED THE WATER REACHING OUT TO REACH PERCY LMAO. I know RR said he had Percy jump into the river because he didn’t realize how far it was from the arch so this is like sort of a retcon but yea, it works. Percy can manipulate water we learned this with how he pushed Nancy into the fountain.

Things I didn’t:

I think Echidna breaking into the train ✨magically✨ was eh. She could have simply just been on the train like how in the book she was just simply in the elevator.

Speaking of Echidna, it would’ve been so cool to see a snake lady :’). They did it with Medusa and Alecto but I guess they spent their whole budget on that because no snake lady to be seen.

I know the Mist would be hiding it from mortals… but even in the book Grover is like wearing pants and a hat. If they spent less cgi on Grover they could’ve animated some other stuff I’m sure.

The choice to keep depicting Kronos as this wraith instead of a voice from a pit is interesting?? We are already not setting up for Kronos reveal (like there was no Kronos exposition in the museum in episode one which I though was weird). Also I’d say that they’re doing this because they want new audience members to believe Hades is the BBG or something, but if they wanted us to think that why not mention the Helm of Darkness? The Helm would definitely help allude to this wraith figure we see I think. Or show us the hellhound. I don’t know. Weird. I think there is a lot of missing information that is IMPORTANT to the story that shouldn’t have been left out.

Things I miss but it’s fine they’re not there

The trio just never lost their stuff, huh? Like…the bus didn’t explode. They didn’t have to return a poodle for money to a train to Denver. I understand this was all probably cut for time and money sake.

Wish we took the time in the arch for Annabeth to talk about wanting to be an architect.

In conclusion, I liked this episode and I am enjoying the series. But this means that the Lightning Thief Musical is still the most book accurate adaptation of Percy Jackson and that makes me lol

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

If dazai ends up transferring to the PM, how would you feel? 😭

Idk the ADA panels are making me anxious..

Hey hey!

Honestly, I think Mori trying to bring Dazai back in this way wouldn't be a good play on his part at all, and I think he knows this. Dazai has to choose to return himself, otherwise Mori won't end up with an asset at all, just a hindrance. I really can't see that kind of transfer going any way other than Dazai just... up and leaving again first chance he gets. Hahaha

Besides, it'd be a weird move on Fukuzawa's part, and I do believe both Ranpo and Kunikida (as well as Atsushi and Kyouka) would strongly protest - Fukuzawa is shown taking Dazai's advice when meeting with Mori during the Guild arc quite seriously, and even if you think that he somehow doesn't consider him part of the group (I seriously doubt it), Dazai is still an incredible boon to the Agency, especially in dealings with the Mafia or against powerful opponents like Fyodor. It would be a really poor decision to try and transfer him.

While I poked fun at the panels with a couple of memes, I really think Dazai not being there has a lot to do with Fukuzawa's ability - remember that he knows the status of each member of his Agency; of course, with the exception of Dazai.

Also, I seriously don't know if the transfer is going to go through at all at this point. While the Mafia did rescue the Agency members from the Hunting Dogs, it was a traitor in their midst that assured their later capture, and the vampire infection completely ravaged the Mafia's ranks. As far as everyone knows now, it was Fukuzawa and the Agency that "saved the day". Do they still owe Mori? It seems unlike either of them to back out of a deal, but I'm honestly not sure.

If it does still go through, let's think hypothetically on who Mori might take based on what he'd be looking for in a potential transfer member.

Yosano: Obviously he wants Yosano back. But he can't get to her because Fukuzawa guaranteed it.

Dazai: Obviously he wants Dazai back. But I think due to the reasons above, Dazai is safe.

Kyouka: She just left. Also I think Kouyou understands that she's happier here and would not let this happen. Atsushi and Dazai would also not let this happen.

Kenji: Very strong, and recognized as such by Chuuya. However, I don't think his attitude is something that Mori would be looking for. He doesn't exactly scream "operating under cover of night" hahaha

Ranpo: I doubt it, but there could be some advantages. Mori would have another genius tactician for one. However, Ranpo's methods are far removed from Dazai's and Mori's own, and I think he'd have a hard time convincing Ranpo to do anything he doesn't want to... Ranpo is a detective. Case closed. Maybe if Mori had found him instead of Fukuzawa when he was young, but now? No.

Kunikida: This could be interesting. Kunikida is a very moral man; however, he is far from bound to the law (fully willing to break it if he disagrees or thinks it's necessary for the sake of his ideals) and has recently had his ideals and spirit damaged almost to the point of suicide. Transferring him would be devastating. I don't know that I see what Mori would get out of taking Kunikida though, other than weakening the Agency (remember that he's next in line to lead after Fukuzawa). I just don't think there's enough in it for Mori to bother. I also think taking Kunikida would piss Dazai off royally.

Tanizaki: The fan-popular choice. He does, admittedly, make the most sense. Multiple Mafia characters have seen and commented on his talent for assassination. His skills are very useful and his morals basically hinge on Naomi's safety. If Asagiri wanted to elaborate on Tanizaki's character, this would certainly be an interesting way to do it. If Mori can assure Naomi's safety, then he will have Tanizaki's loyalty and a powerful new assassin, and that is what Mori would ultimately be looking for.

Atsushi: Okay, hear me out. Mori has to be well aware of Dazai's creation of a new double black in Atsushi and Akutagawa. He knows full well how powerful the tiger is. Might it be useful to have a double black purely under his command once again? Now, I honestly believe that Mori understands the value of balance in these things and wouldn't take Atsushi so as to have their duo be part-Agency, part-Mafia in accordance with Natsume's tactics. We've also already seen mafia Atsushi in the Beast universe. However, this could be a really interesting way to have reader focus shift to exploring more of the Port Mafia by having our main character literally end up mired in that world. Mori has already worked with Atsushi before (against Lucy), and let's think of what he knows - Fitzgerald set a bounty on him, Dazai recruited him and partnered him with his former mentee, and he's able to work well with Akutagawa (who pretty notoriously isn't a team player). Mori may just find himself intrigued enough to see what the big deal is...

[lady-quen]

For the Aurene ask game: 1, 3, 8!

Aurene ask game!

1. How does the Champion feel about Aurene? Do they consider her a daughter, a sister, a friend, a ward, a burden, just a dragon or something else?

Aurene means the world to Mael, and he considers her his daughter - while sylvari do not have a concept of parenthood comparable to ours, describing Aurene as such comes closest to encompassing how he feels about her. She is his charge, his responsibility, the being he loves the very most in the world - bound on a spiritual level. While his feelings towards her as his daughter will never change, he recognizes she has since become something far, far greater than a mere hatchling and does not act patronizing towards her in any sense.

Furthermore, she is his sovereign, and he is her vassal - though their Champion-Scion bond is in no way compulsory, Mael has sworn his life in service to Aurene, and would do most everything for her. The only loyalty that comes close to the same level is Mael's relationship with the Pale Mother and the Grove, being the Tree's herald, as well as the overseer and mentor of future Knights of the Thorn.

3. Is there anything non-canon/unique about your Champion and Aurene? Powers, ways to communicate, transformations/brandings, etc

There is! The most unique aspect of Mael as a Champion is the fact he additionally functions as the Mouth of Aurene (the same way the named Zhaitan champion did!)

Absorbing the Soul Eater's essence has left Mael's mortal wounds cursed to morph into demon maws and inflicted a supernatural hunger upon him, a condition he addresses by consuming magic items through the mouth conjured over his chest. It's a very much preferable alternative to eating souls, after all, and Aurene has helped give purpose and direction to that aspect of her Champion. Magic essence consumed by Mael can be shared with Aurene, and she can even taste certain food items he "sends over" in this manner. Yes, he has shoved entire fish into his chest before.

The synergy of consumption and purification was especially powerful during the battle atop the Harvest Temple, where Mael in Champion form was capable of absorbing the Void itself to allow Aurene to then purify it, empowering them both in the process.

8. Are there others who are close to her? What's their relationship with her and her Champion? Does it impact canon?

This is going to bleed into 7 as well, but yes! Maolmuire (@commanderteag) becomes branded in a similar manner to Caithe during IBS, specifically before the Drakkar encounter, when the party is resting at Still Waters Speaking. Faced with Jormag's whispers urging him to finally find his own identity and "step out of the Commander's shadow" by stealing Caladbolg and using it to slay Mael, Maolmuire runs off into the night and nearly freezes to death. He is rescued, but the only way to save his life is to estabilish a bond with Aurene to allow her to send her magic over to accelerate his healing. Considering how many voices were already in his head and how delicate his sense of self was at the time, adding Aurene ontop of that was precarious, but ultimately necessary.

The Brand manifests as luminous, crystalline patterns running down Maol's malformed arm and covering his fingers. He can receive a portion of Aurene's empowerment and communicate with her if needed.

As for Maol's relationship with Mael, the story itself is quite long and convoluted, and will probably be told once we figure out everything along the way! It's a multi-faceted bond, for sure. Maolmuire: a soldier and companion, member of the Dragon's Watch, but also Mael's successor in bearing the Thorn, the two go through hell and high water together while essentially being walking reflections of one another's traumas. Along the way, Mael finally comes to terms with the death of his dearheart and his old self, and Maol finds his own identity and grows into his destiny - leading to an unlikely, yet simultaneously star-crossed love to develop between the disgraced Commander and the bright new Wayfinder...

[yuhi-san]

Hospital yuri be on my yay! Vol 4 lots going on in the few first pages already.

Floppy haired vash is so adorable omg

Them making contact all of a sudden just then felt a little abrupt but good for them! Of course knives has to ruin it. Makes you wonder just how much he notices and knows of things going on.

Wolfwood oh man. I think its easy to miss how much time he spends just trying to keep it together and to adjust to all the curveballs hes thrown ever since he met vash. I think that deserves his own post eventually but he is not having a great time. But his reaction to the satelit and them making contact is really telling. His “will we be saved? Us…?” speaks volumes about ww. I think it shows how little hope for the future he really has. He can’t think much further than surviving tomorrow and maybe, if he’s lucky and smart and ruthless enough, keeping the children save for a little longer. But its clear he didn’t believe that there truly could be a future, let alone a good one. he has so very little hope abiut that but at the same time he wants to hope so, so badly, if not for himself then at least for the kids. And ouch that hurts.

Vash trying to sneak off alone, thinking he has to do it all alone. Of course he does. One day you will be at the receiving end and it wont be fun.

Ohh midvalley. Still very intrigued by him. But on the same note, what an unhinged first impression you give knives. But anyway  I think midvalley is actually a lot like Wolfwood. At least in the sense that he is very, very terrified but also has a very good intuition for a situation and danger. He also clearly does not want to be involved in this insanity, less out of a sense of morality but self-preservation. He can feel in his bones how evil and dangerous knives is and he really, really rather not cross his path again but what would be worse is getting on his bad side, so. I guess in a way midvalley is in a very futile situation, not too much unlike Wolfwood. Makes me wanna see an au where midvalley switches sides, if for no other reason than thinking this is more likely to keep him alive. Him and Wolfwood would be so interestig

Well knives seems confident Wolfwood is doing exactly what he wants. Though I’m not sure if that is because knives is so certain about ‘chapels’ loyalty (to the children, that is) or if he thinks it doesn’t really matter how it plays out either way as no matter what, he IS guiding vash and also it IS going to cause him so much pain regardless on how it goes down. Also not sure he even knows ww is the wrong chapel. On one hand, knives is meticulous and damn smart on the other hand I can see him not giving enough of a fuck to realize or maybe worry about it.

Vash and Wolfwood are soo dumb. How are they not dead. Bless milly and meryl. What absolute idiots. Especially vash. you traveled the desert for over a century, you should not make mistakes like that!!

It may be short but some badass milly and meryl moments! Man does meryl look mad. It reminds you that if they are not dealing with basically superpowered people, these two girls are not ones you want to mess with

Wolfwood waving at milly and und the horrified face he makes when she starts crying is so funny. He was just saying hi!!

Goddamn vash is mad and ready to strangle zazie, I’d say with the way he jumped at him (which went great. That was some hilarious rodeo of a worm vash)

It probably wouldn’t have worked out well but man I have no doubt milly would have shot ww. Shes so determinate I love her.

Lots and lots going on. The action and dialog is sometimes a little hard to follow to me. The missle Wolfwood shot into the sky. What was that for? Or was that the same one that hit between vash and hopperd?

Knives. We get to see him some through midvalleys eyes but there is also the shot of vash with a black eye stumbling after him while knives looks… displeased and uncaring at best. And we’ll see how my opinion evolves but I do think already then, knives was rotten to the core with no sympathy and love left. I do not at all think he is a case of born evil or anything. Knives very much was a victim of the circumstances. But what I do think is the whole tesla situation and all broke his innocent mind to a point where for him, there was never a chance of healing, no matter the course his life would have taken. You know what I mean? Maybe I’ll get more into that in another post.

[championofravens]

Tali’s thoughts/analysis on CSM ch. 151

Or: How you haunt the narrative in a story with no afterlife

(Spoilers abound)

Makima’s death has always been very interesting in the context of Chainsaw Man and its greater world building, something not typically touched upon often by other folks in the fandom. As mentioned by user @Jelimore when they approached me to write this, there is no afterlife confirmed within the story’s canon (at least not with the sort of certainty the population accepts other facets of the divine). It’s a fascinating implication in a world where Hell is real and already populated by denizens who are born and resurrected there. Based on what Makima describes of her time in Hell with the Chainsaw Devil, it is not a metaphorical place of suffering but almost has its own societal structure completely alien to humanity’s. So it seems safe to assume it is not widely believed in this world that a damnable soul can descend to Hell after it dies.

Heaven is much more nebulous. Heaven is implied only through hallucinations at the time of death (think Aki and Yuko’s final moments of peace) or a comforting word given to those at death’s door (the Angel Devil soothing a dying woman). This makes sense as the narrative works hard to neither confirm nor deny the existence of a singular God ruling the world. The story has never invoked divine intervention or any other godlike acts. If anything, we are rapidly approaching a junction in which a God Devil is more likely to arise as we see the looming shadow of the Death Devil and Nostradamus’s prophecy. 

I believe both of these decisions are what really helps the story have such impactful and painful deaths- the mundanity of it all in a fantasy world that death could just be a black nothing as far as we know.

The idea of death becomes all the more interesting as we look to Devils, who can be completely destroyed to the extent that they are eradicated from existence and their very influence ceases to remain. It goes far beyond human death. In one of my all time favorite chapters, Makima lists a number of Devils who have been destroyed so completely (eaten by the Chainsaw Devil) that whatever concepts were born from them- or vice versa- are no longer even within the human consciousness. I think the first example she brings up to Kishibe is especially telling: Nazism is something that had to exist prior to its Devil, and when the Nazi Devil was eaten, it still wiped out that political party from the fabric of reality. Though the Nazi Devil did not create Nazism, its destruction assured it was as though it had never even existed. 

So. Let’s talk about Makima’s death and Chapter 151.

Barem foolishly attributes a possible reasoning for Natuya’s inability to control him as the fact his body remains under the control of Makima even beyond death. Though this is something contradicted in all we know of how Devils work, Makima is not forgotten. Makima is not erased. Makima’s physical body and arguably her “soul” have been as thoroughly killed and buried as they can be and yet we do not forget her like other Devils. This is because Makima was destroyed. Not the Control Devil herself. He is still attributing an amount of divinity to a corpse however. His second idea that his inability to be controlled comes from a pure loyalty to her… well, I think that’s wrong as well.

Makima’s power of Control is forged from a feeling of superiority, a feeling cultivated and encouraged and fed throughout her life until she had innate control over all humanity. I believe Makima was encouraged in her position to see those around her as less than, which is a task that is already easy for Devils to follow. Natuya, raised by Denji, is saved in part by the love she has for him but also the average life he gave her. Though she has a strong Devil nature that has her putting an amount of distance between herself and others, we just finished a chapter in which she retracts those feelings for the sake of continuing her life with Denji. Even though she says it should be acceptable for her to hurt and kill as a Devil, she is more bound to her happy life than to following her instinct. We know it is not an indomitable force, or rule of nature, that she has to follow and we know it is not something encouraged by those around her.

So in that aspect, a man who just so easily destroyed her happiness and took multiple gunshot wounds without faltering, a man fused with a powerful Devil, it makes sense she may falter and lose that superiority. Her powers in ch. 151 seem to stem clearly from grief and rage as opposed to the calm certainty with which we’ve seen her use it before even when she is upset (think: Asa). It’s for this reason that I think Natuya fails in controlling Barem. 

An irony of this is that Barem is blind to the intricacies of Makima’s power and how it works, unlike the readers, despite his devotion to her which is what leads him to think he is being protected by a more romantic notion. He was, after all, just a puppet during his time with her. His devotion is to a Devil that no longer exists and a woman with no power beyond that of anyone seeing ghosts in the throes of grief.

I think this chapter paints a very interesting and first time distinction between what Denji killed and didn’t kill at the end of Part 1. In the simplest words- Denji killed Makima, a human woman. That is what she became when Denji ate her and prevented her healing and resurrection and allowed her to die in a way no Devil ever has. She is as dead as any other human is within the story… and that is how she haunts it. It is what gives her power even still. Denji did not eat the Control Devil. He ate the first woman he loved. That is why Natuya is alive and why Makima gets to have a surprisingly human hold on the story in death.

(Tune in for Tali’s unhinged fanon explanation about Ahashi’s role in part 2, including the effects of Makima’s eyes in his skull and his puppeting by the Public Safety Division)

[hrodvitnon]

Idea I had about the Iwi and their Guardian Titan.

A lot of people favor bringing Phosphora back as it makes more sense for the lore for it to not be Mothra- and I do kinda agree with that to an extent.

But… what about Battra? There's been talk of him being in Abraxasverse, but I feel he could actually be hugely important for some later events (Xenilla). Him being the Iwi's patron Titan makes a lot of sense as he may see them as the purist form of humanity- one that lives in harmony with nature instead of- what the rest of humanity does. He could've entrusted them the gift of the summoning ritual for whenever things got bad on their end or for when they believed The Planet needed protection.

Additionally- I'm an advocate for Battra as a major player in Abraxasverse. Especially as a Mothra foil as that could be a really cool exploration of both her and him as characters. Think of Mothra as an Oath of Ancients Paladin while Battra rocks the Oath of Vengeance against the Planet's enemies with extreme prejudice.

Also, and excuse me for getting Final Fantasy brained here, I think it's really a cool concept that Battra is associated with Black and Mothra is associated with White, and they're each the Planet's greatest assets (cough Black and White materia cough). Imagine if Mothra's healing and restorative prowess was inverted into destructive prowess.

Also- I personally think that Battra could have more authority then even Godzilla, Shimo, or Ozzy. Hear me out on this one: The Planet usually entrusts the job of keeping balance to Goji, Mothra, and the others. They do a good job a lot of the time- but sometimes even they're prone to getting biases about certain things (seeing potential in humanity even though they're a threat to the natural world, not wanting to kill Xenilla because they believe Ozzy can still be saved). Battra would not think like this. His loyalty to the planet would be absolute at all times and he'd only make his presence known when there's a world-ending threat that he suspects Mothra would need help with- or whenever he feels the need to remind the others of their jobs. I reckon this would lead to Battra having a very dynamic relationship with both the Iwi and the Titans. He'd be a portent, in many ways, a sign that the Planet is suffering or under threat- but he'd also be a sign of strength, of action; that the Planet is to go war with her enemies and she needs her Vanguard. If Mothra's the planet's All-Mother of Peace- he's the All-Father and God of War.

For this reason, I'd like to contextualize him as being the Titan's version of Admiral Stenz, or something similar. The Commander-in Chief of the Titans who only shows up when there's a bitter war to win. He'd wield the same amount of power as the King and Queen- essentially their Lord Commander who doesn't answer to them, but the only authority higher then them- the Planet Herself. Another idea I find really interesting- he could also exercise a form of executive power to make himself King, should shit get really out of hand. Essentially instituting a form of Martial Law amongst the Titans.

This would make his relationship to the Titans very complicated- especially with Mothra. She may see him as an older brother (especially if they grew up together, which I totally vibe with too) and hold love for him in that way. He may even reciprocate- but he has to put his duty above everything, and expect others to do the same. He may even see a disagreement between them as a betrayal- how could his beloved sister stand by while their home is decimated by the encroachment of the humans? How could any of the Titans? On one hand- Mothra's happy to see him whenever he drops by, but it's always 50/50 if he's here to help or get pissed at someone for not doing their job. Goji would feel a very similar way. Battra is an enormously helpful ally when he wants to be, but Goji's almost always the first person he yells at if shit's gone bad. He also can't really retaliate as Battra's basically his boss (or- his boss's messenger). I wanna stress that I don't see Battra as the Planet's mindless weapon- just someone fiercely loyal who tolerates nothing less then perfection when serving the Great Mother.

I've also seen people suggest that he may hold contempt for the synthetic Titans (Dagon, Abraxas, Biollante)- but I feel like he'd be a little more sympathetic to them, especially if they're making the best of their new lots in life in service to the Planet. He may be a little grossed out by them- but I feel he'd be infinitely angrier at the people who inflicted this torment on them. Like- he'd see Shin or Ladon once, hear about what happened with Apex, and then proceed to storm to Godzilla and Mothra and absolutely tear into them for not eviscerating every single Apex employee that draws breath for such a blatant affront to nature and act of cruelty. He'd be irate to hear that they think of themselves as parents to them if humanity got to go unpunished for this shit (read: They did not go unpunished- but in Battra's eyes anything less then millions of deaths in retaliation counts as unpunished).

Wow this turned into a big Battra HC ask- lol. Insert obligatory apology for ask box bombing. In conclusion: bat cool.

I do like this take on Battra! He provides an interesting foil to Mothra and isn't entirely wrong about the humans who actively mess around with the planet, he's just fiercely devoted to Earth; he hears "Apex employees who were just trying to do their jobs" and thinks "accomplice by inaction/apathy". I also like the idea that he doesn't immediately hate "unnatural" Titans and instead is like "you're strange, but your soul is as true as any."

(Ha, when the words Final Fantasy hit my eyes I thought "oh, like White Magic and Black Magic! Holy and Flare! ...oh yeah, materia. Close enough!")

[crossdressingdeath]

Once again trying to explain my issues with how Percy's fatal flaw is handled, I think the best way I can put it is... okay, Athena says to Percy "to save a friend you would sacrifice the world", yeah? I think that both the narrative and the fandom tend to focus too much on the to save a friend part and not enough on the you would sacrifice the world part. Because a lot of the time it's left at "Oh, he loves his friends too much so it's a bad thing!" when... eh... it really isn't. First of all, the things the narrative holds up as evidence of his flaw are the most basic shit? He hates letting other people take risks instead of him and tries to prevent it whenever possible even when it's not wise and he's quick to sacrifice himself for loved ones. That's just the Riordanverse protagonist starter pack! They're all like that! Half of them are quick to sacrifice themselves even for total strangers, Magnus literally dies doing that! The only time Percy comes off as unusually loyal is going into Tartarus with Annabeth, and one event really isn't enough to call something a fatal flaw I don't think (and Nico also goes into Tartarus for other people, twice, and supposedly his fatal flaw has nothing to do with loyalty; if the text is gonna claim that Nico's flaw is holding grudges and not loyalty then Percy jumping into Tartarus can't be used as evidence of his fatal flaw being loyalty, no I'm not still bitter that our only word on Nico's fatal flaw is that children of Hades hold grudges even though that is so not his fatal flaw). The handling of Percy's fatal flaw feels weak because... honestly it feels like Rick just doesn't want to admit that his heroes' fatal flaws are supposed to be some of the worst parts of their characters, so with Percy especially it's a lot of "No, no, I promise this is a problem, it's a huge issue that he, uh, feels bad about Annabeth having to go off on her own!" when uh. he'd have to be a pretty shitty person not to.

But the "you would sacrifice the world" part? Now there's a flaw with some character to it! Percy would sacrifice anyone and anything to keep his loved ones safe, which sounds good... until you consider that that includes people and things that were never his to sacrifice. Circe's island is a great example of this: Percy saves himself and Annabeth! They free the pirates to cause chaos and steal their ship so they can't follow! Goody, the quest continues, the pirates are no longer their concern... but unless I'm forgetting something Percy does not once think about the young women and girls on that island that he just trapped as prey to a bunch of pirates (with all the horrors that implies) until Hylla and Reyna force him to confront what he did to them, and even then what happened to the girls who weren't lucky enough to be the super-tough daughters of a war goddess is kind of swept aside. And again, Percy mostly just forgets about it once the scenes with Hylla and Reyna are done; he did what he had to do to save himself and Annabeth, and while he doesn't feel good that he hurt innocent people—some of whom were children—in the process I don't get the sense he regrets it. There's his loved ones and then there's everyone else, and "everyone else" is a secondary concern. And not to harp on this every time, but it's the same with him going on that little date with Annabeth in Rome while Nico's on his last hours before suffocating. It's fair that Percy wants to spend time with Annabeth before she maybe goes to her death! I'm not going to pretend I don't understand and sympathize with his reasoning! But the thing is, Percy is taking the risk that he might sacrifice Nico's life for a little extra time with Annabeth without ever acknowledging that that's what he's doing. If the timing had been a little off, if the twins had been in a different place, if things hadn't worked out exactly right... Nico could've died. And Percy doesn't even think of him during that scene. And as a point of characterization that is fantastic! It shows some real teeth to the whole "personal loyalty" thing! But there's no point where that's treated as a bad thing; it's just "Oh, it's so sad that Annabeth has to go off alone, Percy is in so much pain having to let her do this by herself, clearly this is his fatal flaw", with no mention of how while Percy is doing this Nico is barely clinging to life with Percy and the rest of the Seven as his only hope. Percy isn't risking anything personally to spend this extra time with Annabeth, but the total lack of acknowledgement that he is risking Nico's life and just in general is putting Nico in an awful position when he really doesn't have the right to make that call—Nico's loyalty is remarkable but I feel like even he would draw the line at "Hey do you mind suffocating for another hour or so so I can have a lengthy goodbye with my girlfriend"—really irks me and probably always will.

Also, I feel like the meeting with Akhlys and the tension between Percy and Annabeth afterwards would work better if discussion around Percy's fatal flaw was focused more on what he'll do to other people for the sake of his loyalty than just the loyalty itself? Like, maybe instead of Annabeth being freaked out at the show of power she could be horrified and upset that Percy would hurt someone like that to protect her. Now admittedly that's partially because I love a good "But I did this for you!"/"How dare you make this my fault" argument, but still. As it is it's like... yeah, okay, it's freaky, but she already knew that Percy was a super-powerful Big Three kid with the strength to go up against even major gods and also "Hm, there's water in poison, maybe I can use my water control on it" is... not not clever, but far from a revolutionary concept. I'd have expected the daughter of Athena to have thought of it at least once, y'know? I don't know, I just feel like leaning more into the "Why are you doing this for me, I don't want to be at all responsible for something like this" aspect would've been a more impactful scene and would've made his fatal flaw feel like a serious, unique flaw for once!

[gcldencrownofsorrow]

Honestly though, if people think C*ersei's resentment towards Bri*enne is because she feels Bri*enne is some kind of threat to her relationship with Ja*ime, they're not paying attention. Like thats the kind of narrative that's pushed by FanFics but isn't actually rooted in the text. "Her. The queen remembered the Maid of Tarth, a huge, ugly, shambling thing who dressed in man's mail. Ja*ime would never abandon me for such a creature.My raven never reached him, elsewise he would have come " - C*ersei I ADWD it doesn't matter if Ja*ime did indeed burn her letter, and leave Riverrun with Bri*enne. We know, as readers that it's true. but C*ersei doesn't believe it. She doesn't for a moment DOUBT him, or his loyalty. and especially not when it comes to a woman like Bri*enne. and im saying this, because C*ersei's Resentment is rooted in something much deeper than her being some sort of reproductive threat. She can't stand Bri*enne because she wants to be her. C*ersei hates nearly all women, save for Myr*cella.   because in her opinion women are; Little sneaks, the lot of them. Vapid, weepy creatures. & Women are always the cruelest towards other women.

but not only does Bri*enne have the audacity to not FIT this view on women, she also represents everything C*ersei WISHES she could have been. C*ersei has spend her whole life trapped in the purgatory of Performative Femininity. a role which she is very ill suited for, save for her appearance. She's not a Gentle Mother, nor a Fair maiden, C*ersei has the heart of a WARRIOR. and she's been denied living that truth, for the past 36 years. And Bri*enne just vales into her life dressed in men's armor. Dressed the way C*ersei sees an idealist version of herself. and she dares to not even TRY at performing the traditional role of women. Who does she think she is? "Another of the ships would be named Sweet C*ersei, and would bear a gilded figurehead carved in her likeness, clad in mail and lion helm" - C*ersei VI AFFC C*ersei wanted to be a Knight, She wanted a Sword. ever since she was a little girl, and Ja*ime got his. and Bri*enne has that. She is, from where C*ersei is standing. Free of the male Gaze, she has the Strength to FIGHT for herself. and these are things C*ersei has previously been told was unattainable. and so to preserve her sense of self. and protect herself from this injustice. she Hates Bri*enne, and she Others her, Turns her into some form of Grotesque monster in her mind. but it's got nothing to do with Bri*enne and Jai*me's connection at all.

In a lot of ways, its quite similar to how Jai*me idealizes Bri*enne because she's a true knight.

[2goo-p]

Apples 3 oak leaves 1, wheat sheaves 5

THANK YOUUUU ANON!!! I'm so sorry I didn't post this sooner, it was saved to my drafts o(-(

answers under the cut cuz there's a decent amount of text :P

Does your OC find it easy to express themselves in words? Or do they sometimes struggle to find the appropriate word or phrase? Are they eloquent in one language, but less practiced in another?

-Lea is concise and deliberate with his words, especially so when expressing his own feelings. His secret hobby of reading fiction aided him in learning the right words to express himself but he is hardly ever transparent about his feelings. His writing is more complex, detailed, and structured than his actual speech, however. in short Lea is straightforward and easy to understand, and his writing allows him to be detailed and express himself a bit deeper. ( also he likes to be poetic in his native language c: )

-Cidra very much struggles with expressing herself through words. She is much more open than Lea, but has always struggled to pinpoint specific feelings within broad emotions. Her writing skills are limited and she was taught little in regards to reflecting on her feelings. I think it's definitely impacted her and has made it really difficult for her too communicate with people in general. Overall, Cidra finds it easier to let actions speak for her emotions. (Lea is good at determining her emotions, thanks to working with her for years)

Does your OC adhere to any particular religious faith? To what degree do they follow the tenets of that faith? Are they a believer in name only? Or are they zealous in their convictions?

- Cidra is/was a loyal follower to her father/Bha*l, and her loyalty came from a sense of self-preservation and a desire for power. But she had very little emotional connection to her family/God, simply for mistreating her in childhood and denying her the true freedom she craved. Cidra hates feeling leashed and finds religion, in general, to be too restrictive for her tastes.

- Lea has felt a deep desire to be loyal to a god/ religion and has attempted to do reach out/dedicate himself more than once. (and failing because he's Bh*alspawn.) Over time, he'd develop a distrust for the Gods themselves, which conflicts with his outlook mentioned before. However, Lea respects faith and prays on occasion despite not being dedicated to any God. He doesn't know if it brings him comfort anymore, though.

How does your OC feel about striking disparities in wealth or access to essential resources? Do they feel such things should be distributed more (or even totally) equitably? Or are they disinclined to interfere with the current ordering of society? Do they believe in paternalism and charity as an effective means of sharing the wealth of the rich with those less fortunate? Or are they cynical about this approach?

- Lea came from poverty only to eventually become a slave, and his outlook on wealth changed numerous times based on his own experiences. For a brief time, he cynically accepted that wealth wasn't to be shared. Lea wanted an easy answer to why he was stuck in poverty. He does grow and recognizes the corruption of wealth disparity, which makes him far more charitable when he has anything to spare. Unlike Cidra, Lea doesn't have any trust for the super-wealthy. He's been taken advantage of too much to feel any other way.

- Cidra was always well-off but not offered any freedom or control over her wealth; the cult needs to keep people in line through multiple methods, and taking money is one of them. Because of this, she tends to keep her money to herself and doesn't care about sharing. Although not entirely against the idea of sharing wealth, she is inexperienced in the dynamics of classism and is slow to understand the greater implications of insane wealth. Cidra will eventually have a change of heart in her life, but holding onto her own wealth will be a hard habit to shake as she feels more in control and secure doing so. I also imagine being charitable isn't popular in the Murder Cult lmao there is definitely a lot more to unpack here

anyway Thank you again!!! I love getting to ramble about this sorta thing

[theamityelf]

In your Kamakura Wrangler Au could you rank who would be the most likely to hurt/endanger Makoto to the least likely to hurt/protective of him out of the students please?

That is a great question.

Honestly, I think his greatest protector (in terms of effectiveness) would actually be Hiro. While he's not actively protecting him or staying with him most of the time, he often does little things to set the right future in motion to protect him. In general, Hiro happens to lack the kind of hollow boredom that most Kamukuras feel; like I mentioned, his vibe toward everything is just that he is watching reruns of real life. Makoto is a recurring character he likes well enough on a show he's seen plenty of times. (The only show. The only channel. But it's not a bad one. It might even be really good, if this were his first time watching.)

Plus, Makoto's luck can occasionally surprise him. One time, Makoto trips and spills food on himself, and Hiro surprises everyone by actually laughing, because wow! A new scene for once!

Second most protective, of course, is Taka. He is vigilant about making sure none of the other Kamukuras kill this innocent and normal person. I think Kyoko and Byakuya would come around to protecting Makoto, too, but initially their vibe might be more, "You won't survive here for very long, so tell me this, before you die..." Taka is protective right away.

The only catch there is, Taka values Makoto's humanity so much that there is a non-zero chance that, if he thinks the scientists will change Makoto into one of them, he might mercy-kill him. It wouldn't be his default response. He's significantly more likely to attack the scientists or whoever else is posing a danger to Makoto than Makoto himself. But if he's identified it as impossible to protect Makoto from being Kamukurified, he would view death as the kinder, more ethical alternative. It would be very quick and painless, and he would cry for the first time, after. Makoto's ability to sway Taka's view on the humanity of the Kamukuras is so, so important to how well everything goes. Though the increasing investment of Byakuya and Kyoko would be helpful.

And Chihiro would also be a big help. They're usually hiding (and as a Kamukura, they're really good at it), so Makoto's conversations with Chihiro read like conversations with a ghost, but the arc there is that gradually Chihiro starts to become a physical presence. Eventually leading to Chihiro protecting him if and when it becomes necessary. Maybe someone thinks they've gotten Makoto alone, his allies are elsewhere, and they can attack him, but lo and behold Chihiro appears and saves him.

Mukuro initially protects Makoto only from being taken away by the scientists. Her strong sense of personal loyalty from before is now expressed as a rigid bond with the new collective, meaning she is very strict about the treatment of the Kamukuras. They have been given this resource, they have negotiated his use, so the scientists are not allowed to take him. Makoto always has Taka on one side of him, but when the scientists enter the room, Mukuro immediately stands at his other side. I think the two of them don't talk all that much, but she still grows fond of him from what few conversations they do have and how positive a force he's been for the other Kamukuras.

On the other side, of course Junko might harm or kill him just on an impulse. More likely harm than kill; despair is one thing, but she does actually need the enrichment. The thing is, the more he interacts with her, and especially the more he reminds her of the past and maybe helps some of her memories return, she might start to actively enjoy despair again, instead of just feeling the impulse toward it. And this time, she's got all the talents of a Kamukura. She would be extremely thankful to him, and killing him might be an expression of that thanks. Or she might keep him on hand as she develops into her new self, with the understanding that she'll kill him when it will hurt her most. If she actually starts to care about what's happening, she can manipulate her friends' eccentricities to get Makoto to herself. (Give or take a wild Chihiro.)

Sayaka would actually be something of a problem, not because she actively bears him ill will, but because she can't handle his attempts to be present as a friend and support for her. Her way of making sense of the trauma she underwent in the Kamukura Project, and even more so the very particular brand of demeaning that is being one of many Kamukuras, is to perceive herself as the one person who doesn't need any help, support, enrichment, or anything. She's supposed to be the one who can help everyone, and then Makoto shows up and talks to her in ways no one ever has, tells her about a past self she's not supposed to yearn for, etc. If she wants or needs it, then suddenly what she went through was just a pointless thing that harmed her and not the thing that made her what the world needs. She feels she needs to take him down several pegs. But I believe she can overcome it.

Hina is a danger, but she doesn't particularly mean to be; she's just very curious and she assigns no positive or negative moral value to any means of exploring that curiosity that pops into her mind. She'll mitigate her own more destructive thoughts because the group will have made agreements as to how to engage with Makoto, but for anything they haven't made explicit agreements about, there is no guarantee she won't hurt him. Even once she considers him a friend, it would be a separate thing for her to fully understand why suffering is a thing that people actively avoid, because she just doesn't factor suffering into her own thought process at all. (She understands suffering, functionally, and she has a full grasp on the ways in which it motivates and influences people's actions, but her own relationship with suffering colors her understanding of what it means that most people avoid it. Not to mention she's an analyst who spends a lot of time around Junko; her data is skewed.)

Celeste will become a danger if it will help her escape, but in most circumstances it won't.

Mondo will become a danger out of agitation over changes in the status quo, since they cause him to feel a lack of control. Like Sayaka and Hina, I believe he can overcome that.

Hifumi and Leon will be more into watching from the sidelines than anything. When Makoto befriends them, they still won't be too active. Sakura I think would be pretty neutral to him. And I'm going to say Toko likes him but does nothing for him.

[firefeufuego]

Maybe we’ll learn more about this in the next chapter, but how come James still stands by Lily even though he strongly disapproves of her friendship with Snape and is angry with the way she’s acting? I wouldn’t hold it against him if he wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with her at all because of Snape and her inability to cut ties with him (before James knew why she couldn’t and the whole backstory with Snape that is. Now we and he understand her). This is not me questioning you or your writing not at all, I love this fic and how you’ve written it and the characters!! I’m just curious about his thinking and reasoning! Because he isn’t really her friend to begin with so he could’ve just not tried to talk some sense into her or challenge why she’s friends with Snape still. He’s a good guy but there must be something else than him feeling the need to to talk some sense into people all the time because that would be exhausting. I hope I’ve made my question clear heh.

Very excited about the next chapter!

Thank you for your question! I’m always so pleased to think that someone has thought deeply about my writing.

In this particular scene (the kebab scene), he stays to keep her safe. His sense of honour would never let him leave a woman alone at night, especially if she’s been drinking and there are people that he knows are creeps about. Watching the way she interacts with Snape, as well as the fact that she chooses James over him here, confirms in his mind what he knows from her relationship with Mary—namely that she’s not really in this relationship willingly and there’s something going on under the surface. Mary hasn’t told James anything, but he knows that she never would have become friends with Lily if her relationship with Snape was as it seemed to him before.

Before that, I suspect that he’s always kind of admired her loyalty, which is such an important characteristic for him, even though he thinks it’s horrendously misplaced. He’s also felt a bit protective of her even before they met, baby boy developed a bit of a crush based on the pictures and texts that Snape spread around Eton and part of him (guiltily!) always kind of fantasised about saving his dream girl from Snape.

At the end of the day, I think the key bit of dialogue for James in this chapter is ‘I don’t hate you. I’m mad at you.’ He disagrees with her actions and is angry about what she said about him, but that doesn’t negate all the things he (half, he protests as I roll my eyes at him) loves about her.

I hope that answers your question, if not feel free to ask me a follow-up!