#even though i literally told her funky smells in the lab are normal | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

geekwiththeglasses · 1 year ago

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You know the more I think about it the more I'm annoyed that when I said "I'm an anxious" person the other person replied "I can tell" even though it wasn't meant to be like in an asshole type manner its like im supposed to be training you on this assay while juggling that not only are you more than twice my age (and thus I'm kinda getting the vibe that you are kinda chaffing at being trained by someone who wasn't even alive when you were well into your career) but you have lots of experience in the lab which I don't want to disregard (even though the shit you will touch without GLOVES gives me a hernia because you'll obsessively change them but then touch dirty areas with bare hands and throw your fucking labcoat on a clean desk????? But give me a look when I say no coats on clean areas like there aren't fucking SIGNS) and you're the team lead so there's inherent authority in place even though this is my assay so it's like Jesus its almost like your existence around me training you is designed to trigger the ever loving shit out of my anxiety so it kinda felt like an asshole remark

#we had a sticking point last night when she smelled burning which i was standing next to her and didnt smell anything #and youll get random smells in the lab all the time #and she was at a section of the assay where you MUST KEEP MOVING #and i was trying to push her but she screetched everything to a halt #and refused to keep going bc she needed to inspect the hood #even though i was reassuring her i didnt see smell or otherwise witness any signs of fire #and that i wasnt trying to ignore her concern but you also have the lives of 23 people in your hands #who need a cancer diagnosis #and at this point have been waiting for weeks due to backlog #and i get trauma and was trying to be sympathetic #but the fact that she just kept ignoring me and my reassurances and even telling her we'd get the safety officer #once we got to a stopping point which would have been a few minutes #i apparently knew nothing #even though i literally told her funky smells in the lab are normal #even though i reassured her i smelled and saw nothing #and again i get trauma #but on the other hand she even said 'i get you're the trainer' as she continued to ignore me #which she didnt really finish that thought which felt like an 'but i know better'#and i feel i cant put my foot down too hard #bc again in any other situation she has seniority and i dont want to create issues down the line #i also have to keep a tight rein on the bpd and my god is it a fight sometimes to not just hate her for little things #'well i was waiting for you to tell me when to do it' maam if you feel im micromanaging you during TRAINING

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