#even the park restroom looks like it could at least take a grenade

[seattlefactsijustmadeup]

Seattle Adjacent Fact #Määrä:

One would imagine the artillery placements at Fort Casey would be intended for defense from naval attacks. This is what the government wants you to think.

Any local could tell you the munitions were all hollow. The base's soldiers would load the shells with salmon and propel them at high speed through the air to aid them during migration season.

The AA guns, mortars, and snipers' nests however were indeed for defending western Washington from the ancestors of Crab King Maurice XIII and Dolphin Dauphin Bonaparte I. Mirelurk attacks are no joke; stay safe.

[hangreenleaf-blog]

6/5

I was an air bender last night. I was located in the aftermathy ruins of a failed futuristic sci fi city. Lots of abandoned technology with giant weeds growing from the battery waste and vines suffocating whatever rusty metal parts they could grab onto. I went to my last year’s summer office job in a strange building at 8 p.m. I was told that my job today was to relay messages across campus. When I arrived, I was the second person there, greeted by my supervisor. I was getting ready to settle into my cubicle, but I caught a dark crimson glance from my supervisor. There had been news of an infectious curse going around, causing people to tend toward entropy and violence. All it took was for an infected person to spit on you after finding out you were afraid of them. I asked to leave to use the restroom, showing as little emotion showing on my face as I could manage. People with this curse will attack you with any sign of a facial twitch or change in breathing. Instead of answering, she just waited. She was likely waiting for me to blink out of line or to breathe funny. She knows how much of an anxious person I am, so it shouldn’t have to be long til I provoked her. She grinned maliciously with her curse enhanced blue teeth and inched toward me slowly without moving her legs, the veins in her neck poking in and out of vision. Jokes on her, I’m constantly monitoring how much I blink and how much I breathe just because I’m an incredibly self conscious person, but I wasn’t nervous here. When it’s life or death by myself, I don’t seem to get nervous. I slid out my rose and violet tinted glass dagger from the sheath that was hidden next to my bra hook. With my hands still behind my back, I cut cracks into the wall behind me, the dagger’s plasma lined edge easily and silently searing through the plaster. Then I swallowed my saliva.

She lunged, and I rolled out of the way. I activated my dagger so that its handle stretched to turn it into something more like a pike. She was quick because of the curse, so I couldn’t afford to be too stupid. Unfortunately, my decision to roll out of the way caused my vision to go black, much like when I stand up too quickly after waking up from a nap. I heard her rushing toward me again so I bunched myself tightly into the fetal position. Somehow this blasted her away from me, causing me to figure out that I was actually an air bender. Gnarly. I blasted the wall that I’ve been slicin’ away at and jumped out of the new window I made. I was only three stories high so I had to figure out how to fly in a few seconds. My pike conveniently grew very elaborate wings that appeared to be made from a disparity of unusually wide flower petals and chitin. Being an air bender with some fresh wings on a stick, I was pleasantly tickled and figured out how to float my way on top of the roof of the building that I had just come out of. There was a pink haze slithering around the building, much like one of those electric balls you put your hands on to attract a current to your fingers, but more foggy. I was thinking, huh, that’s neat, but kinda creepy. But I’m gonna sit here and figure out what’s going on.

Another person flew onto the roof right next to me. I don’t remember who it was or even what their gender was but they had brown hair, and they were wearing one of those flying squirrel-esque suits that the air benders had on in LoK. They told me that Canna (y’know, that really well known villain in this dream world) was about to get her hands on the Avatar orb. Fun fact, I didn’t know Canna was a flower til after I woke up and googled it. This orb contained all of the avatar’s bending powers and all she had to do was suck it all up. When I looked down from the roof I was on again, I saw that I was on the roof of my own apartment complex, and I got the sense that everyone inside was infected. I had to go then, so I started flying to the nearest train station. I have no clue how I knew where it was in this dream world but I was on a mission. Flying was very scary, because I didn’t know how to control my pitch but I seemed to be going steadily in a sine wave pattern. When I got to the train station, everything was either a dark gray, magenta, or gold. The person who told me about Canna on the roof also came along apparently, and we decided to start digging a hole in the cement next to one of the tracks. Then dam, Canna appeared, in her 15 foot tall, dark, masked glory. She’s a thicc one fellas. Her mask looked really similar to Ghost’s face from the Matrix, shades, drawn on facial hair lines and all. Her outfit was very swishy and confusing.

She told us to hand over the orb or else she would have to infect us with something 10 times more potent than what was already plaguing the city. We looked into the hole that we dug, and what do ya know, the orb was there golly gosh! It was translucent, but had a colorless pattern that look similar to how Jupiter looks, and had blue, green, and pink plasma rings surrounding it. My air bender buddy and I responded to this by taking out the straws we happened to have in our pockets and sucking up whatever bendy powers we could. I gained some water bending and my buddy gained some earth bending, but not enough to reach the full avatar bending powers. Canna casually grenaded us out of the way and sucked up the rest of the stuff. She had the full blown fire and air bending powers of an avatar now, as well as some small amount of water and earth. Being evidently displeased that we took some of that power away from her, she made it her point that she wanted to kill both of us. My buddy and I parted ways here, Canna after us in a flurry of threatening element parts. In all of my great wisdom, I air scootered my way into the train station, and done got myself cornered in a tower that looked vaguely like the inside of a giant light house, sans stairs. Fortunately I had air bending so I flew my way up. So did Canna.

Then AAAAYEE my buddy came to the rescue and metal bent some chains with cuffs on them onto each of her limbs and then used some the heat from their own plasma dagger to melt the metal onto her skin. Good lord what is wrong with my brain. Canna was now stuck in mid air in this tower inside this train station, posing like a starfish. I pike-propellered my way out of the station and decided it was time that I headed back to my apartment to deal with the cursed situation there.

One of Canna’s cronies (i knew this because they were wearing her semi-circle marking on their neck) was running amuck near a state park, trying to infect deer. I decided to obtain myself a deer that wasn’t infected, and rode it back to my place, being too confused to fly. I actually acknowledged I my dream that I was far too baffled to fly right then. I must have been brushed by a piece of Canna’s robe, because it was known that anyone who tries to wear her robe would be bewildered out of their mind for the rest of their life. It was about 6 a.m. dream time now, and I had to be more stealthy now that it was light out. I soon found out via dream intuition that I had to kill the deer that I just met to be able to cure people. I couldn’t do that so I walked to the nearest gas station and bought myself a Twix and a hot dog. When I came back to my “apartment complex,” it was actually my workplace again, and my boss was exceptionally disappointed that I had ditched work for at least 10 hours. I started to explain to him what just happened. He nodded very understandingly at everything I was saying but in the middle of the word “puddle,” his eyes turned red. Of course, I was talking to my boss so I was already afraid of him, so he began to attack me immediately once his curse began. This time I wasn’t ready so I was on the defensive. I was using air bending when I could to whisk away his spit. I remembered that I could also do some water bending, so I tried it on his coffee, but accidentally blood bent his hand instead.

Then I woke up to my dog scratching my arm.