#even the narrative treated lemon as disposable

[edwinas]

A character study of Lemon

A companion piece to these posts I & II, inspired by @books-are-my-life-stuff gifs

“I was intentionally getting in [Mash’s] way so he wouldn’t reach the goal. Professor Lucci asked me to. He told me he would pass me if I got in his way. My family is poor, and I desperately wanted to be accepted for their sake.” — Lemon, episode 2 “I reached out thinking even scum can be useful, but you bit the hand that fed you. Is your stupidity inherited from your parents? No wonder you have a miserable life.” — Lucci, episode 2

Magic determines one's social status so poor families with average to low magical abilities were seen as sub-human and treated as such (see the views of Wirth Madl, Abel, Carpaccio, Levi etc). "The strong have the right to take from the weak" is a philosophy that many magic users believed in, especially the elite. So Lemon was used to being dismissed and given crumbs. Street-smart out of necessity, she was resigned to cheating and lying for her family because society would never give her a fair chance. The guilt ate at her but survival came first.

Something shifted when she met Mash. He came back for her at the risk of not passing the exam. He put his future in jeopardy for her. For the first time ever, Lemon mattered.

For me that's also why Lemon falls for him. Here is a boy who came back for her. No one had done that. As the eldest daughter, Lemon had to be the responsible and dependable one. She took care of others. Mash was the first one who came back.

Mash's motivation to enter Easton Academy and become a divine visionary struck a chord with Lemon because she also entered Easton Academy for her family. She was willing to cheat to get ahead while Mash, who's very existence challenged the status quo, played by the rules and won. He inspired Lemon to live life on her terms, to allow herself to dream and not settle anymore.

Lemon is also deeply grateful to Walhberg who accepted her into Easton Academy despite her cheating. The strongest wizard saw something in her and gave her the chance she desperately needed. Knowing the immense luck she had, Lemon threw herself into her studies, took extra credit, was part of many clubs. While in canon Lemon has "Mash tunnel vision", for me she is is very much aware of who she is, where she is and the opportunities offered by Easton Academy.

As said in my previous post, Lemon tries her best to give back to Easton Academy by tutoring juniors, volunteering, organising school events etc. Her disposition brings people together, like in the Innocent Zero fight.

A downside to having a jam packed schedule is that Lemon does not take time to rest. She is always pushing herself to make the most of every minute, at the expense of her health. She does not listen to her body and eventually suffers burn outs.

The paraphrased quote from Aera's gifset "Dear young maiden, Fall in love for life is short and time wait for no one" encapsulates who Lemon is to me.

We see how obsessed Lemon is with Mash and that is 100000% for comedic effect. But I also see it as a window into who Lemon is. She is someone who cares so deeply and is fully committed, be it Mash or the welfare of magical creatures. There is no in-between and that is how Lemon approaches life.

In this post I wrote "lemon knew binding magic (chapter 2 & 126) and training animals with kindness (chapter 126) so she settles on care for magical creatures." I still stand by Lemon choosing this field but she does so because she loves it. As explained above, I don't see Lemon settling anymore, especially for something as important as her career. She still does her research, goes to university and career fairs, shadows people who's jobs interest her, reviews career progression potential and income etc. She chooses studies of magical creatures.

Lemon has always been brave and Easton Academy, including her friends, have inspired her to be bolder. To keep going despite all the rejection. No attempt is futile. The world was saved thanks to ordinary people coming together. Lemon saved Mash (and the world) by physically shielding him, no magic involved. She follows her heart and wants to live a life without regret. So she applies to the most prestigious universities and most competitive programs. She puts in the work.

For me Lemon is not magically inclined. She stays up late, reviews her flash cards at lunch, tapes her notes to the bathroom mirror to revise while brushing her teeth. She works hard. She is not and will never be a girlbossTM to me. There will be no radical transformation into a snarky "not like other girls" overpowered character. Lemon is very aware of her limitations. She will never be as powerful as Dot or Lance or even Finn. She will never be as strong as Mash. Surrounded by such incredible people, she grapples with insecurities, doubt and even jealousy but life goes on. She tries to do the best with what she has got. She remains the sweet girl who doesn't let Mash finish his choux creams because their senior is at the hospital.

[miriamundertale]

i think i can finally really dig into my thoughts on makeine. thank u alya sometimes says her thoughts in russian (i dont care enough to fact check the name its mid) it took a currently airing romance anime to make it fully click

the issue with makeine for me is that it's ostensibly the type of setting and characterization one would do in order to really dig into critique on a lot of romance stories in general. expressly, focusing on the "losing heroines" of a romance is fascinating! something really digging in on the idea of being shot down and the story continuing from that angle is prime ground for something interesting! moreover, nukumizu's entire design is set up to echo background character designs, to the point its a running gag! theres really a great start to something that wants to comment on how disposable a lot of characters can be treated for the narrative, how much internality characters who can be treated as nothing in other stories and framing can really have. but it constantly really refuses to engage with that. it refuses to leave the space of slice of live it's adjusted itself into to really dig into these more. we're on episode 6 and still pushing through premise setup with lemon. specifically, focus on moments that if done in service to this theme, would honestly work better not even shown.

of course, at this point it's hard not to turn the interrogation inward. am i approaching the point where i'm mad that the show isn't the one in my head? partially, yes! it's hard to really distance that part here, makeine is coming up to not be a critique on how easily one can throw away characters once they are no longer narratively useful. but at the same time, these are the bones of this show. the entire thing works off of this core concept! are you that unwilling to really face it? i'm not even sure anymore

also it doesn't help that there was so much setup for an imaginary little sister twist that they cowardly avoided

[xtradonaire1]

WHITE AMERICANS ARE ANGRY TOO

THE TRIBULATION OF BEING BLACK IN AMERICA was a reminder to all Americans why they are angry.  ANGRY! about Slavery, Jim crow, injustice, systemic racism, and all the lies on top of lies, broken promises, and yes, Police brutality.

TODAY, Americans are tired of the people in charge ignoring Black Americans’ concerns/ issues, economics, schooling, equality, justice, and more.   This anger has been brewing since the beating of Rodney King, 1991 (https://youtu.be/sdktDOeG2VI ) the officers were acquittal a year later.  I don’t know if the acquittal, in this case, emboldens policemen to treat Black Americans as they do, or was it the fact that they got caught and seen by many White Americans doing what Black folks had been complaining about for years.

While Black Americans were getting brutally beaten and killed by Policemen and by other Whites folks, White Americans’ anger was slowly burning, however, their moral indignation kept getting smothered by professional politicians.   Meanwhile, Religious leaders were quiet, leaving others to speak on God’s behalf.  “We must practice forgiveness, be patient, and appreciate how far we’ve come”  After all, there were Black Entertainment Shows, many in sports, and in government.   Sophisticated Politicians and Political Pundits were extremely sinister in their dealings, so much so, that they even hijacked those accomplishments, to create numbness in the hearts and souls of White Americans’ original emotions, yet again.

“You can fool some of the people some of the time, but, you can’t fool all of the people all of the time”

AFTER the death of many Black Americans killed by Policemen, and decades of lies from the White establishment,  White Americans have grown angry from being fooled, manipulated, and lied to.  Their ANGER is HOT and real, much like Black Americans. WHITE AMERICANS ARE ANGRY TOO and are now ready to burn it all down and start over again.

Protests are now happening all over the world and riot is the voice and sound of pinned up anger.

Admittedly, in 2016 with help from Donald Trump, they used Colin Kaepernick taking a knee position as being disrespectful to the flag and lack of patriotism https://youtu.be/bBdoDOXMWkg   Trump knew Kaepernick was protesting against unjust Police brutality being done to Black Americans.  Once again they were successful in kidnapping White Americans’ moral indignation.  Today, NFL football commissioner Goodell condemns racism, admits NFL was wrong for not listening earlier.

I think seeing the back to back killings of two Black men (first Admaud Abrey, then George Floyd) was too much to explain away.   Watching Ahmaud Abrey killing angered us, but then to watch another Black man (George Floyd) getting killed by a Policeman in an unforgivable fashion.  Eight minutes and forty-six seconds with a knee on his neck to death.  ANGER is an understatement, the rage is more like a nuclear missile has been being thrown.  WHITE AMERICANS ARE ANGRY TOO!

If Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, and others think they can run the same ole playbook of  US vs THEM, which was once successful, it will not work in 2020.

Americans have a pretty good idea who Donald Trump is, however, others are already doing what they’ve done before, which is, persuade you with lies, change the narrative, and create another image.  They are asking White Americans again, not to believe what they already morally believe in their heart.  Maybe because they believe Jim Crow is still left somewhere inside you, or maybe, they don’t believe the movement we all see, is real.

This time around Whites and other Americans will not be so easily influenced by lies, deceptions, and phony patriotism.   Despite the fact that Fox News continues to show the same footage of looting day after day, night after night isn’t effective enough to scare White Americans away from protesting.  In fact, WHITE AMERICANS ARE ANGRY TOO.  People all over the world are coming together to say BLACK LIVES MATTER!

Trump just doesn’t get it, WHITE AMERICANS ARE ANGRY TOO

“Donald Trump is the first President in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people–does not even pretend to try.  Instead, he tries to divide us,” said  James Mattis, Frm.Sec, of Defense.  I couldn’t agree more.

        COVID-19

Get the latest information from the CDC about COVID-19.

LEARN MORE

 See more resources on Google

  Friends this is absolutely the best deal in town and on the internet, Modenna Face Mask Disposable Blue 50Pcs #1(Best Seller) $15.99 FREE-SHIPPING (reg. price$49.99 save $34.00)…order your pack today https://amzn.to/2ZVn0Hd

  This forehead thermometer is specially designed to take the human body temperature with a 3cm-5cm(1.2in-2in) distance from the forehead. List Price:$89.99 TODAY it’s only $39.90 & FREE Shipping-You Save:$50.09 (56%)https://amzn.to/2MswzW9

  COVID-19=Lemocide Disinfecting Mildew, Virus & Mold Killer – Cleans & Deodorizes, Lemon Scent (1 Gallon Super Concentrate) safe to use on nearly any hard surface such as Bathrooms, Floors, and Walls, Tables…etc $34.95 Free-shipping https://amzn.to/2Udxq0Z

source https://xtradonaire.wordpress.com/2020/06/07/white-americans-are-angry-too/

[thegreengrinders-club-blog]

PR.O.P.s for PLUS

PRESENTATION: ⭐⭐ / ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I picked these gummies up from Showgrow in Long Beach. My attention was caught by the pretty-in-pink plastic that held the promise of a good time. I really do love the use of color not only on the Blackberry and Lemon gummies but throughout their product lines. Vibrant. fun pastel colors make this product stand out on the shelf. Great, eye catching stuff!

What detracted from the presentation was the excessive use of plastic. In pursuit of a greener earth, it is difficult to fathom why this product came sealed in a wrap I looked over and disposed of. @madebyKiva used their metal tin to great effect with no additional plastic, yet this similar product came sequestered beneath another layer? I know it's a child-safety issue, but it's hard to justify full marks when my purchase generates this much immediate waste.

Online, Plus Gummies propose no gimmicks -- the website suggests a scientific commitment to precision dosing through their "motley crew of experts"--but neither do they offer a narrative to endear to. Clean to the point of sanitation, their "Our Team" tab is devoid of team member credentials, methodology or delineations of other meaningful connections to the cannabis industry.

Overall, while I'm LOVING the two toned tin of these infused Blackberry and Lemon Gummies, many brands offer compelling packaging to house effective products. The remainder of plus gummies presentation, while professional, feels lacking.

REACH: ⭐⭐ / ⭐⭐⭐⭐

How accessible are PLUS Gummies in the California market and beyond?

Though the brand has its roots in Colorado, Plus Gummies can be found throughout Los Angeles County and have a defined presence in the Long Beach area. I purchased this one at ShowGrow in Long Beach, but I also noticed these at @the Station and one love beach club, so their local accessibility is superb.

"PLUS products are exclusively available in sunny California", and there is no shortage of retailers throughout the state. PLUS' distribution spans from San Diego to Mount Shasta! However, inconsistent with their Weedmaps results, their FIND PRODUCT map suggests locations like The Grove in Las Vegas and Whole Meds in Denver carrying PLUS gummies, so take their state "exclusivity" with a few grains of salt.

The sheer volume of stores carrying PLUS gummies ensures future ubiquity here in California and their roots in Colorado may prime them for success, yet without a concrete presence in other states it may be some time before green grinders out in Arizona, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington can experience what PLUS products have to offer our community.

OVERALL EXPERIENCE: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ / ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Amazing fresh fruit aroma with a juicy flavor profile, this feels like the MOST COMPLETE precision dosed edible experience yet. Our previous experiences with Findbreez mints and MadebyKiva infused Espresso beans were wonderful, but these PLUS gummies go further to woo the senses! The two-toned tin is very pleasing to look at. Pop it open to be greeted by sweet notes of berry and citrus. The purple and yellow gummies housed within help keep the aesthetic consistent, making these enjoyable even before the first bite!

PLUS Blackberry and Lemon gummies clearly state INDICA on the top of the tin and, true to intention, these are best enjoyed in the evening. With each cube, you get 4.5mg THC with 0.5mg CBD. For those of us who appreciate the entourage effect, that's a MAJOR KEY. Calming and relaxing, the CBD adds a depth to the experience that was lacking in other precision dosables. I have a recreational tolerance, and while I've increased consumption daily (today is day three), I'm nervous to take more than two after how effective the double serving worked yesterday.

If you have dietary restrictions, know that these are Kosher and made with Beef Gelatin, so don't offer these to the vegans in your life. Beyond that, there is little to detract from the potent, synergistic experience that these PLUS gummies deliver. Just know that, like the @madebykiva chocolates, it's best to start with one bite. Full Marks for this one.

Price/Value: ⭐⭐⭐ / ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Is it worth it? There are an array of edibles available at your local shops, each offering a unique treat to uplift or relax the end consumer, so at $15 BEFORE taxes, why should we choose PLUS gummies??

As pretty as the pink packaging is, the real power is in the potent, fast-acting efficacy of these treats. A microdoser's best friend, just one will add some levity to your afternoon; two prompts some serious sedative effects. If these Blackberry and Lemon gummies are indicative of the strength of their product line, you'll be hard-pressed to find a better precision-dosage experience.

Effective though the product is, PLUS packaging, presentation, and multi-market accessibility leave something to be desired. The plastic childproofing layer, while attractive, also felt wasteful and excessive, and while their website waxes poetic about their Colorado roots and the motley crew of experts behind the PLUS experience, they offer nothing to substantiate that, hoping that the product speaks for itself.

Fortunately it does, so if all that matters is the effectiveness of your experience, PLUS gummies seem to be a no-brainer at this price point. But for those of us who require the intangibles from their preferred brands, like environmental awareness and a defined role in the cannabis community. PLUS still has some distance to cover before they reach full marks.

- -

PRESENTATION ⭐⭐ / ⭐⭐⭐⭐

- -

REACH ⭐⭐ / ⭐⭐⭐⭐

- -

OVERALL EXPERIENCE ⭐⭐⭐⭐ / ⭐⭐⭐⭐

- -

PRICE/VALUE ⭐⭐⭐ / ⭐⭐⭐⭐

- -

P.R.O.P. score - 11/16

[brunchbeforebocce]

Smug. Aloof. Imperious.

(Written by Dave Hoos & Max Nantes)

Mrs.Hoos: “Darling, I don’t feel like going for lunch today. Why don’t you go now?”

[Hoos spins his head towards the clock on the kitchen wall]

Hoos: “It’s only 11…you know what this means? It’s…

[Mrs.Hoos shrugs her shoulders with a puzzled expression]

…come on, come on.”

Mrs.Hoos: “Oh my, God, it’s Sunday br…”

Hoos: “Yes! Well played Darling. Sunday brunch…although…who shall join me? Nantes would normally, of course, but today he promised to take Ursula, that’s the estranged wife of his former neighbour, Oslo, for a private viewing of the Lemon Tart Appreciation Society’s exhibition of 19th century shoelaces. In particular, those used by Confederate soldiers during the civil war. Then, as a special treat, Nantes will perform a selection of specially chosen musical interludes on his Appalachian dulcimer. During that, the delightful Ursula, will delight the small gathering by performing a slow, seductive, strip-tease, that culminates in a demonstration on the correct method of employing a two-headed vibrator that plays “Also Sprath Zarathustra”.“

Mrs.Hoos: “How wonderful. I didn’t know he played?”

Hoos: “Didn’t you? He considers it a lost art. I’m inclined to agree. We often play for the chaps at the golf club, Nantes and I, if someone needs a bit of cheering up. Nantes, with his Appalachian dulcimer, and me with my mellotron. It’s wonderful after a bottle or so each of brunch riesling. Although some of the less fortunate among us are doing it…particularly tough, this time of year. Why Mortimer even had to let his…[visibly close to tears]…let his assistant groundskeeper go, and even…the French stable-maid.”

Mrs.Hoos: “Darling, why don’t you wear this [hands him a lovely blue, silk, short sleeved shirt]…I’ve just ironed it this morning?”

Hoos: “No!! [snatches the shirt and hurles it over the small waste paper basket on the little table next to the kitchen bench, knocking over a bottle of linseed oil]. I can’t wear that. Look at it. How on earth can I unbutton my sleeves while keeping them from being not rolled up if I’m wearing a short sleeved shirt?”

Mrs.Hoos: “Oh my goodness! I’m so sor…”

Hoos: “Shirts with short sleeves are for lunch. And should be worn by an ordinary man called Colin. You can’t expect me to wear that shirt Darling…it’s so half past three at the betting shop!”

——————–

[Hoos’ phone begins to ring]

Hoos: “Hello, this is Hoos, please speak clearly and with a vocabulary that is above standard level”.

Nantes: “Hoos, it’s Nantes…sorry to ring I know you were planning a jaunt to the Warren of the Narre in the South but my brunch senses are tingling and I was wondering if I could persuade you to change your plans and meet me for Sunday brunch”.

Hoos: “Nantes, but aren’t you taking…”

Nantes: “Yes Hoos, I was going to take Ursula for a private viewing of the Lemon Tart Appreciation Society’s exhibition of 19th century shoelaces, which I was most looking forward to attending. But an unforgettable and unforgivable event took place this morning”.

Hoos: “Please, do tell Nantes. My monogrammed silk phone cover is comfortable in my hand while I am reposed in my Chesterfield armchair”.

Nantes: “Fine, very well. It all happened this morning. There I was practising my Appalachian dulcimer in front of the mirror to make sure my smug and condescending smirk was in place, which it was and I was ready to go. I unbuttoned my sleeves on my new brunch shirt (it’s divine Hoos, I can’t wait for you to see it) and gave one last smug look to mirror when I noticed shockingly that I had one day of facial hair growth, as opposed to the customary four hour growth of facial hair you should have for brunch. But the worst part was I’d left all of my hair care products in my overnight bag which was left at Sven and Charlotte’s city penthouse where I stayed last night, I just couldn’t muster the strength of heading back to the leafy eastern suburbs after the three of us went to the Performing Arts Theatre to see the Gregorian Chants performance last night. You really should have come Hoos, I know you had to delegate the evening to ironing your pocket ties but it really was marvellous. Anyway…after seeing my face I rang Ursula to ask her to quickly go and buy some facial hair care products and bring them to me, there was no way I was going out with a day old growth in my brunch attire.”

Hoos: “Of course not, please go on.”

Nantes: “That’s when the nightmare began. After a short time Ursula knocks on my solid oak hand carved front door as I briskly go to meet her….Horror! (Clearly distressed voice) she had brought me a Gillete disposable razor and a can of shaving foam.”

Hoos: “(Audible gasping)”.

Nantes: “After wrapping it in a bag and throwing the items in the bin followed by washing hands, I put my stern face on and turned to her, she didn’t see the problem…Didn’t see the problem! I was looking for her guide dog. I asked why she hadn’t had brought me a single German steel blade razor that was sharpened in Switzerland by artisan blade-smiths attached to a Grenadilla wood handle, I mean where was the badger bristle soap brush on an ivory holder or the lime and coconut block of shaving soap in a teak wooden box…not forgetting the Creed-Aventus aftershave.”

Hoos: “I’m starting to sweat and shake, what did you do?”.

Nantes: “Well I was about to give up when Ursula told me to come on and get in her car, she will take me to the barber for a real shave. I looked bemused and informed her that Johaan’s grooming shop was closed every Sunday for Sunday brunch. Then she told me she knew another place and it’s basically on the way, I was nervous but I threw my arms up in the air exposing my wrists where the buttons were undone and got in the car. After a nervous trip where I mostly just admired my hickory brown loafers with tassels, we arrived, I couldn’t believe it….(painful voice) she had taken me to JustCuts where the window proclaimed a haircut and shave Sunday deal for $25. Apparently, I then passed out. The next thing I know, she was helping me get out of the car and inside my abode. And that sadly Hoos was the end of the friendship.”

Hoos: “Oh my, I don’t blame you. You were right it’s a nightmare of a story. But please brunch must go ahead and I shall come and pick you up immediately and take you to Octavia’s barber, he’s open for Sundays. Then where to go for brunch?”.

Nantes: “I don’t mind, anywhere to clear my head of the horrors I’ve witnessed today”.

————————————————————–

Nantes: “Do you still have a play around on your baritone dulcimer? I’m thinking about doing a little duet performance for the Borrowby Garden Party Brunch Sessions this Sunday?”

Hoos: “Well, if there’s no room to put my mellotron, I was thinking of bringing my carved top mandolin just in case. I think it would complement your appalachian dulcimer wonderfully. I of course, will have my baritone dulcimer standing my as well. There’s also a five string banjo that often comes in very handy, in case one of the diners gets hurt over a remark made about the cut of his suit.

I was thinking of borrowing Herbert’s accordion, but I don’t think it’s the right place.”

Nantes: “Herbert does love that accordion so, he would be devasted if some brunch riesling or pâté happened to smear it. I say go with the carved top mandolin, it will go together with my Appalchian dulcimer like ebony and ivory, like the sun and the moon, like frozen grapes and wine…ahh perfection.

I must ask, what happened to the silk short sleeved shirt that was hurled into the waste paper basket?”

Hoos: “Well, as you no doubt recall, in my thoroughly merited state of…shall we say, abject horror at being given such an inappropriate piece of cloth, my aim was a touch askew. My tossing hand proved more powerful than I gave it credit. For with a subtle flick of the wrist (who knew all that wrist and palm work would have proved so fruitful), it was summarily dispatched, well over the intended table top basket, and instead came crashing down on my favoured bottle of linseed oil, made by Állback of Sweden, of course. The bottle was, as distressing as it sounds, unopened…

I knew that time was of the essence. This magnificent, golden nectar was too good to leave dripping, like the sweat from an out of condition Welsh baroness (we’ll show her what that bridle and riding crop are really for…THWAAAACKKKK!!!), onto the breakfast room (soon to be renamed) floor, which, is at least wooden, so there’s a stroke of luck.

The magnificent golden nectar (unlike the turgid, orange hue of most common domestic brands), was about to be poured into my antique, but sturdy, 18th century French chamber pot. Then, under my meticulous supervision, Grayson - my batman - will instruct one of his underlings…Emmanuelle, I expect, to gently lower my collection of wooden spoons, salad tossers, door knobs, etc, into the bowl - two at a time - for the purpose of treating the items in question. We’ve all had to endure a late supper with untreated wooden spoons…ughh…it’s bordering on shameful. My man, Grayson, he knows his linseed oil. The last time my wood was treated by Emmanuelle’s oil soaked fingers, I couldn’t contain myself. “Lick it…”, I exclaimed, perhaps a tad too forcefully, “…tell me what it tastes like!”, as I pushed the large, rather cumbersome, piece of wood into her mouth. After what seemed like minutes of, I have to say, a rather exaggerated performance of gasping, panting, and even flailing her arms about the place, I removed the treated item. I submerged it once more, into it’s, almost serene, linseed bath. I removed it…glanced furtively at Grayson (who temporarily stopped dragging the unconscious Emmanuelle across the floor towards the staff infirmary), as he nervously wiped his brow, after first patting mine dry with a strip of cotton, which per chance just happened to be close at hand, in the guise of Emmanuelle’s blouse. I moved the wooden spoon ever closer. Then, I paused…with the spoon a mere four and three quarter inches from my nose, I felt it…a mouth watering, nutty aroma, which made me immediately hungry, despite the fact I hadn’t ordered the table set.

Now, the sudden appearance of this silk, short sleeved shirt and it’s devastating aftermath had thrown the household into a state of sheer panic. Luckily, as you well know, my dear Nantes, as we are cut from the same (pure silk) cloth, I have nerves of polished steel. Like a flash, for I knew time was of the essence, I rang the bell. How fortuitous I’d had one installed in the kitchen some five years ago. I spied the discarded silk shirt (short sleeved), laying like a soild, French harlot, next to the slowly expanding puddle of Állback’s wonderful linseed oil. “I can get the short sleeved (silk) shirt to soak up the glorious and appropriately expensive nectar, and then squeeze it back into the bottle”, I announcd triumphantly to myself.

I rang the bell again.

I was getting worried now. I glanced at the pool of spilt oil of linseed and the crumpled shirt (silk, short sleeved) beside it. I wisely took the only feasible course of action. I strode, with singular purpose, over to the wine fridge, selected a bottle appropriate for the heightened senses of the occasion and…poured myself a large glass. It wasn’t a moment too soon, either, let me tell you. For barely a moment after I finished the glass, in came my man Grayson, like a cork from a bottle of Château Lafite. Our eyes met. I motioned towards the ghastly scene on the wooden floor. He, although temporarily taken aback, swept up the hand made, silk (short sleeved) shirt, and began applying it rigorously to the misplaced linseed elixir. And wouldn’t you know it, Nantes, before you could say, ‘Sir Bernard Smythe-Obleston, has a smashing new drinks cabinet’, the deed was done, disaster averted, and our hitherto quite useless, short sleeved (silk) shirt, was the hero of the hour…well, third actually, behind Grayson and myself. Incidentally, I was so impressed by Grayson’s ability to futher delegate tasks to his numerous underlings, I’m thinking of having him come along on our next brunch outing, so he can butle for us both. Good wait staff are so hard to give drinks orders to at the moment.

I must get back to crest back mandolin practice, old chap. I’m afraid, even though musically it’s all rather fine, I appear to be letting the side down when it comes to my facial expression. Hubert, it transpires, was none too pleased and has ordered me to spend an extra twelve minutes a week playing - as you did - in front of the mirror. He simply wrote three words at the top of the page..

SMUG, ALOOF, IMPERIOUS

END