#even stop it because i csnt change my innner voice or the weird neurotic way kf thinking bc my brain goes '
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Mentally ill boy whines again. Solution: Get Out Of There
#im fucking TRYING too as well and it's just constant fucking roadblocks or my body screaming to self sabotage and quit and kill ourselves an#d ruin our body and flay ourselves and repent and beg for forgiveness for being a body of sin like. GOD. I'm so tired of it!!!!! and i can'#even stop it because i csnt change my innner voice or the weird neurotic way kf thinking bc my brain goes '#'its keeping us safe! safe! safesafesafe!' bc of Oh Boohoo you got '''''neglected'''' as a child and had your needs not met' well mommy and#daddy sajd they loved you grow up. you got 'locked in your room' and had your apologies ignored ok well youre making a BIG deal about this#top crying boohoo you got bullied. you and everyone else#and then when I go well no they way i got treated was fucked. growing up poor fucked us up. you can still be loved and raised unstably and#uffer bc of it it becomes a fucking game to my brain to list every single way we Had It Better and therefore cant be suffering and its like#do you fucking hear what youre saying!!!! amd then!!!!!! i go through this fucking ten times a day and wonder why i struggle with feeling l#like a human being#and this doesnt even touch the whole mature for your age becoming kind of a therapist to your parent and hearing their issues and adults off#loadinf onto you and like. man. no fucking wonder i struggle so much with interpersonal relationships om top of everything else i dont have#a personality until I know what the person needs from me!!!!!!
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