#even over stuff as stupid as this one dude wearing a wig when literally EVERYONE else at or near his status would have been wearing one

[thebaffledcaptain]

your tags made me look up bridgerton george iii and-- oh my god. what have they done. no offence to that actor, he's a good looking fellow but What The Fuck

right? right??? where are the WIGS? where is the ROUGE? try as I might I cannot in any universe envision that man as our good george iii. he looks like he’s from once upon a time. he looks like the human equivalent of the default lego figure face. any respectable gentleman would not be caught dead in 18th century high society looking like that. god save the king but for christ’s sake not that one.

[pyotatochip]

just like dancing | hyunjin x reader

what’s up losers. this one goes out to @starhhj​ thanks for always hurting me so good <3

just like dancing | hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader wordcount: 4k inspired by: sidekick by walk the moon summary: meeting up with a photographer for a day of modelling turns into making a maybe forever friend.

ur a model

well. aspiring model.

ur instagram is a buncha pictures that u make ur friends take of you whenever y'all hang out

u have booked a couple photoshoots and submitted them to magazines

u even got published a couple times!!!!

not in anything big, just photography journals and portraiture mags

BUT IT'S SOMETHING!!!!

photoshoots are hella expensive tho fuckin. rip ur wallet

so u join a facebook group, which is something u never thought u would do

the idea was that aspiring photographers and aspiring models would meet up, get experience, and maybe make professional relationships

you? young and cute

all these photographers? 36 yr old dudes

they always invite you to their studios in their houses

to do artsy half nude shoots

so u were pretty unwilling to meet up with most of them

(understandable)

but then this one schmuck posts in the group, just when u so happen to be looking for weekend plans

“looking for a model this saturday, autumn themed shoot at han river. the leaves are really pretty right now, i wanna catch them before too many fall”

han river was a pretty public place, so u DEFINITELY felt safer

and like, ur school is pretty close to there, so ur familiar with the area

u comment “i'm free all day, give me a time and i'll meet you there”

after it posted, you clicked on his profile and

fuck

he was not 36

and he was CUTE

u freaked the fuck out

this kid looked like he was ur age. and he was hot.

should u delete the comment?

why would u do that?

bc ur nervous?

why are u nervous?

bc the photographer is a hottie?

is that really a good excuse?

before u could debate with urself much longer, ur comment received a like and u got a private message

hyunjin: hi! u look great! meet at the main gates of yeouido park at 9am?

“u look great!”

“U LOOK GREAT!”

(jooe sunbaenim is quaking)

screech

you: so early! okay! what kinda look are u going for?

hyunjin: haha i wanna get that fall morning light!!! i’d like it to be pretty autumnal. warm colors, maybe a sweater/scarf/jacket combo? if u have something like that. minimal makeup & hair, if you're into that stuff. hopefully that's all okay (^ム^)

you: sounds good! see you saturday!

you spend the next few days at school literally just thinking about how ur meeting up with a cutie on saturday

u rlly dont know what to do with urself

i show ur friend a pic of him and she's like “HOOYKY FUXKJGN GODJ”

which was basically your initial reaction too

but then shes like “he looks familiar??? is he a model too???”

u have literally no idea but it's completely possible

like, it's a waste to have that face exclusively behind the camera

and suddenly the two of u are like. obsessively going through his instagram bc WHAT THE FUCK he’s like….. REALLY GOOD

like, he does a lot of portraits, but the focus isn't necessarily always the person in the photo

the composition and background are just as important in every shot and it…. shakes u

there’s a few pictures of him too, all of which are v aesthetic

but how could they not be??? have u seen his face????

he also tags literally every person in his pictures whether they’re models or just his friends while they’re hanging out

and he photocreds everyone who takes pics of him!!

you are literally…. fallin’ in love

because he was cute and had a good eye and wrote cute captions and was so humble!!!

ur friend is like “wow we stan a pro”

“he looks seriously familiar tho, right?”

she's like “yeah i'm confused why have i seen his face before”

and ur shook bc like… if u had seen this boy irl there's no way you would forget how cute he is

finally,,, it's the weekend

you get on the train and head to han river early in the morning, dressed up and made up for your ~autumn photoshoot~

as soon as you get to the gates ur like.. holy fuck

it's so pretty

the leaves are a mix of orange and red and green and there's a couple dusting the ground too

no wonder hyunjin wanted to shoot here

ur kinda aimlessly wandering around the gate when u suddenly spot

him

he’s wearing a bomber jacket and has a camera bag over his shoulder

and his neck is literally at a 90° angle while he's looking at his phone

ur like…. that cant be ok

u get a notif while ur walking up to him and its a message from him asking if u were on ur way

“actually, i can't make it”

he looks up and immediately laughs. “hi! y/n?”

u wave. “hi hyunjin!! nice to meet you!!”

y'all exchange pleasantries and he's suddenly like

“your outfit is literally perfect” he steps back to look at u. “exactly what i had in mind”

u put up a peace sign. he laughs again.

uh oh

u really like his laugh

and his smile

and his everything

uh oh

he leads you further into the park where there's less people and more trees

“i brought another jacket and a couple of scarves in case u wanted something different” u say as he's helping you take off ur backpack

“oooooo a professional”

“not even”

he asks you if he can take a boomerang of u for his instagram story and u do a lil twirl

he gasps

“that was cute!!!!”

he giggles while he's posting it

what is with this kid and his giggles

u cant

if he keeps doin it at this rate, it'll probably be the death of u 

which is

cool

he puts your backpack on and pulls his camera out of his bag. “let's take some pics in this outfit and then i'll peek at the other options. i like this look a lot”

and then… he just starts taking pictures

u literally laugh

“where do you want me?”

“wherever,” he goes, checking the pics real fast. “i tend to go for candid shots”

suddenly,,, his entire instagram flashes in your brain

the pictures of people laughing and mid walk and reading books

u thought all the models were just. really comfy and professionals and shit

IT WAS ALL A LIE

“so uhhh…” u literally dont know what to do

u have Never done a shoot Like This

“just walk,” he said. “look around. i'll follow”

you: no fear

hyunjin: just walk

you: one fear

u nervously laugh again and he's hitting his shutter like A MILLION TIMES A SECOND

“okay…… i guess i'll walk then”

u push his shoulder while u walk past him bc he's cheesin at u way too hard for u to handle

“ow”

“that didn't hurt”

“it hurt my heart :(“

ur walking backwards and laughing and he's just. only looking at you through his camera.

so. u wander.

u take a lovely morning walk down the pretty paths at han river

u really were so scared that u would be completely directionless, but hyunjin ends up asking you to do specific things also

“go up on those rocks”

“i'm literally wearing slippery ass boots do you want me to die”

“do it for the shot, y/n”

sIGHHHHHH

so ur up on some rocks trying not to fall into a fucking river

and when hyunjin shows u the pics he takes….

okay

yeah

he was right

the entire time he was shooting, he would just strike up conversation to make you comfy

asking how long you've been pursuing modelling

if u wanna do it as a career or if its just a hobby

about ur family

about ur pets

(he asks a lot about pets)

ur sitting on a bench and he's crouched a few feet away to get those ~angles~ when he asks

“where do u go to school?”

“kyunggi”

hyunjin gasps. “no way! me too!”

you fuckin ALMOST DIE

because u fuckin brainblast and have a recovered memory of seeing hyunjin In Your School's Uniform in the lunchroom and suddenly IT ALL MAKES SENSE

you hop up from the bench and like. YELL.

“OKAY I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED REALLY FAMILIAR ARE YOU KIDDING”

he stands and literally screams and u are. so shocked. “i thought you looked really familiar too!!!! i figured i just had seen your pics on the facebook group!!!! i highkey stalked ur instagram bc i couldn't figure out where i knew you from!!”

okay, wig

he stalked you also which is….. great

“what year are you???”

“i'm a junior!”

you push him.

“boi what the fuck! me too!”

“no way!!!” he's laughing “that's crazy!”

he literally pulls out his phone and opens instagram

u have never seen a person use instagram stories as much as this bitch

like, he intermittently pulls out his phone to get shots for his story

u almost threw hands when u were sliding around on some stupid wet rocks bc he was like “JUMP AGAIN I NEED IT FOR A BOOMERANG”

he does this cute lil hair flip and adjusts his bangs before he starts recording and u…. kinda wanna cry

“I KNEW Y/N LOOKED FAMILIAR”

he spins so ur in the shot with him and puts his arm over your shoulders

“WE'RE LITERALLY IN THE SAME YEAR AT THE SAME SCHOOL”

u laugh out loud

he laughs with you and u have to cover ur mouth so an uwu doesn't fall out

u try not to focus on his literally perfect eye smile as he hunches over his phone to post to his story

like,,,

those crescents

are so cute

and he has this lingering grin every time he laughs

and like. wow. lips. amirite. ladies and gents.

“i cant believe u go to kyunggi,” u say. bc u cant.

“what are the odds. out of all the people in that group, we end up meeting up”

u almost made a joke about it being destiny but then u were like oo no thats creepy dont say that

then hyunjins gasps

and u look at him

and he just looks at you wide eyed

and fucking

whispers

“destiny”

you scream laugh

he's laughing too

but on a real level ur like why would that have been super creepy if u said it but it was cute as hell (and a little heart fluttery) when he did?

he goes on saying it's crazy that you had never had any classes together over the years

“or any clubs,” u said

“yeah!!! what clubs do you do??”

“photography! which is why i'm shocked!!!”

hyunjin gasps again

wtf is up with this boy and his gasps

“i was gonna do photography but they meet the same days as dance!”

BITCH

WHAT THE FUCK

“I DONT DO DANCE BC THEY MEET THE SAME DAYS AS PHOTOGRAPHY”

his entire jaw drops off his damn face

“YOU DANCE TOO?”

“I’M JUST AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE”

u literally can't believe

“we've been barely missing each other all this time when we could have been best friends :(“

oh ow

ouch hyunjin

that got u right in ur weak heart

like literally u might have a heart condition now bc he just hit u with the “we could have been best friends”

“sorry i already have a best friend”

DGDGSH WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

then he's laughing and ur like… oh fuck wheew

“well, sorry, i'm replacing them now. we have to catch up on lost time.”

and honestly………. he's right

number 1: y'all are both photography nerds

even tho you have begun to skew on the modelling side of it, u always loved taking pictures of scenery and u knew way too much about how cameras worked

and hyunjin really was like a pro

u had watched him adjust settings on his camera for white balance and exposure and everything

and judging by his instagram, he set himself up for some flawless editing too

number 2: y'all are both dance nerds

he tells u basically all his friends are in the dance club and have formed a lil dance crew bc of it

u say u used to take classes when u were younger but now u just go to the gym and hide in a practice room for a few hours every week

he does hip hop! which is so predictable but u still act all surprised

u tell him u used to do ballet but ur much more into urban dance these days

number 3: y'all both don't know how to stop laughing

like literally if either of you do anything remotely funny the other one is fucked for five minutes

ur pretty sure 90% of the pics hyunjin was taking were of you covering your face because ur literally GUFFAWING

and like, y'all ain't even that funny

but the more you laugh the less funny shit has to be for you to be crying

hyunjin told u to stop making him laugh bc his fingers were getting weak and he didnt wanna drop his camera

you, trying not to giggle: its ok u have a strap around ur neck u can drop it

hyunjin, tears flowing freely: PLEASE LET ME BREATHE

number 4: y'all both LOVE UR PETS

like idk man he tells u about kkami and u freak the fuck out because he's just SO EXCITED ABT HIS PUP

and hyunjin almost ditches u right then n there when u say ur more of a cat person BUT he forgives u because ur cat is literally named hot dog

this is highkey the most fun you've ever had on a shoot

like, you feel so comfortable with hyunjin

and every time you take breaks to peek at the pictures he's been taking

u like … literally stop breathing

he's so talented ;;

you eventually swap jackets and scarves and wander around more

and literal hours later hyunjin's like

“are u hungry”

u stare. “always”

he laughs. “do you wanna go to the convenience store and make ramen”

“i thought you'd never ask”

so y'all go to the conbini and pick out ya fave ramen packets

(and some chips and candy bc u have literally no self control)

hyunjin really tries to buy your food for you but you yell at him while ur checking out bc Boi. No.

the cashier: watched the two of you look at food and bump into each other constantly, touching each others arms and giggling the whole time

you: leave me the fuck alone hwang hyunjin or i'm calling the cops!!!

the cashier: ????????

u make ur ramen at the handy dandy hot water dispenser and carefully bring it back to a seating area in the park

“be careful it's hot!!!”

“hyunjin please, u act like i'm not a ramen pro”

“i just didnt want u to burn ur cute lil mouth, damn”

ur entire being goes WEE WOO WEE WOO

u literally almost choke on nothing and you just cough to try to play it off

hyunjin is having none of it

he's laughing his ass off

“wow that got you better than i expected”

“fuck off hwang”

he stands up to leave and u laugh and grab his sleeve

he's giggling before he even sits again

y'all eat ur ramen and chat more about school and hobbies

he tells u about this one time he almost got admitted into a cult

you: wow… pretty AND dumb

hyunjin, flustered: h-hey!

you tell him about how your cat is a rescue and his heart melts

there's a minute where you're staring at nothing in the distance eating chips

and hyunjin is just staring at you

his brain: hoe dont do it

his heart: doki doki

his brain: oh my god

“hey… are you still free all day?”

u look at him. “yeah, why?”

he opens a bag of gummies. “i'm supposed to meet up with some friends to go bowling in like an hour but i wanna keep hanging out. wanna come?”

you groan. “i'm so bad at bowling”

“we can be on a team,” he offers you a gummy bear and you take it. “i'll carry you.”

pls explain why an image of him holding you bridal style popped into ur head sgdhhf

“haha okay. as long as ur friends aren't lame.”

“they are, but i'll be there so it's fine”

“fair enough. i'm in.”

so y'all hop on a bus and head to the bowling alley that (apparently) hyunjin and his buddies frequent

(he's playing pickles with you in the back of the bus and you're giggling so hard that ur struggling to tell him to cut it the fuck out so you don't disturb the people sitting next to you)

((but also feeling his entire body press against you isn't the worst))

you've been to this bowling alley before

it's popular among younger folks because it's cheap lol

the two of you walk in and one of his friends immediately starts yelling

u freeze “dude i thought u said we were gonna be early”

he looked at his phone “we literally are”

this blonde kid is yelling hyunjin's name and ur wide eyed while u follow

“UR LATE”

“I'M NOT”

“IT'S 2:20”

“WE SAID 2:30!!!”

“TELL THAT TO LITERALLY EVERYONE WHO SHOWED UP AT TWO!!!!!”

hyunjin looks over to the group of his friends already bowling a game “oh”

u bust out laughing

hyunjin gets all flustered like “i-i thought it was 2:30!!!”

“who's ur friend, my perpetually late son”

“o-oh,,, this is y/n”

his friend sticks out his hand for you to shake. “hi, i'm chan. were you the model today?”

you grin “are you saying i look like a model?”

“OKAY!” hyunjin grabs your shoulders and you giggle when chan stutters without responding while hyunjin drags you to the counter to rent shoes and pay for a game

hyunjin is: flustered

he's all embarrassed because he was late and got yelled at by his fake dad

and then u went and,,,, u were so smooth with chan

he wondered if you had been flirting with him all morning because you actually liked him or,,, ur just a flirt

he grabbed your wallet out of your hand and shoved it in his pocket so that he could pay for your shoes and game for you.

“hyunjin!!!!!”

“you wouldn't let me buy you food and you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me if you argue i swear i'll throw you down a lane”

you pout but you let him pay

and ur heart,,, it goes off, dude

like,,,, maybe,,,,,,, u would let him throw you sgdgshsh

y'all walk over to the lane his friends are on, bowling shoes in hand

“y/n!”

your face lights tf up. “seungmin!!”

hyunjin looks between the two of you probably six times while you hug before finally going “w-what”

you and seungmin look at each other, then at hyunjin

hyunjin: you know each other

you and seungmin, in sync: photography club

hyunjin: alright, well,

he announces to everyone your name and you were his new best friend and that if any of them had a problem with it they could talk to his fist

you, softly, but with feeling: f-fuck

y'all change your shoes and watch as his friends finish up their game

while they play, hyunjin points each person out and tells you their name, helping you learn all these new people

since u guys were twenty (20) minutes late, they were already almost done with the first game

they were all pretty good. 

well. most of them were.

the guy hyunjin pointed out as jisung kept getting gutter, but he was having fun

everyone else kept getting strikes or spares and u were like oh god

you keep telling hyunjin that ur really bad at bowling

hyunjin: i'll teach you. it'll be like ghost.

you, softly, but with more feeling: f-fUck

you, realization washing over you: wait how would you even-

hyunjin: *giggles*

hyunjin's giggles.

send tweet.

the entire time you were entirely too conscious of how close he was to you

you could feel the burning on your shoulder, thigh, knee - all the contact points where his body bumped into yours

your knee bobbed involuntarily while you watched the game end, nervously anticipating your turn to hit the gutter

and suddenly, hyunjin's hand was gently placed on your knee

it stopped bobbing

you looked at his hand, then at him

he smiled, but kept looking forward

“relax. even if you're bad, i'll hype you up.”

it was barely above a whisper so you wondered for a sec if he was even talking to you

hhhhHHHHH THIS BOY

yall start bowling.

he was. not all talk.

like who the fuck is good at bowling

hyunjin, apparently

he fuckin. chucked that ball down the lane

it made a smooth curve and took out. every. pin.

you stared at the empty lane in disbelief as hyunjin got a couple high fives from his friends making his way towards you

"not bad, right?"

"bro what the fuck"

he laughed and held out a hand to help you up "we bowl a lot"

you didnt even process fully that he was pulling you out of your seat because it was your turn. 

ur hands: sweaty

ur arms: spaghetti

ur vomit: on ur sweater already

not actually

u picked up the ball hyunjin had helped you pick and looked at him like a deer in headlights

"bro i havent bowled since i was six"

he giggled. "you can do this"

he walked with u and showed you his starting stance, gently adjusting the way your wrists twisted and patting your hip

u. tried to not blush. no word on how well you did.

he guided you through your walk up and when u let go of the ball..

…

……

YOU DIDNT HIT GUTTER

you SCREAMED 

"BRO I HIT A PIN!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hyunjin gave you a Sick High Ten, laughing "now you gotta hit the other nine!"

you froze

fuck

the others were starting to calm down from the excitement of your first half-frame, anticipating your second hit

you watched your ball return from the lane n went over to grab it

hyunjin looked at you Once and was likr….. is that caspar the ghost

the color had DRAINED from you

u…. u hit a pin…… thats like the best u've ever done

n now you gotta TOP THAT?

"its like dancing," he said suddenly. u looked at him, desperate to hear advice in terms u understood. "even if you can go through the motions, it doesnt necessarily make you good. you have to trust your body to remember the motions, give it a little finesse, and that's when you start to get Really good."

you blinked at him

"was that supposed to be helpful"

"can you Shut the Fuck Up and Bowl"

you took a deep breath, adjusting your stance as hyunjin reminded you of the steps you needed to take

another breath

steps

swing

let go…..

roollllingngg…………

*HIGH PITCHED WAILING*

"I HIT FOUR PINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hyunjin scoops u up in a hug, spinning you around

ur too busy SCREAMING to register whats happening until he puts you down

u stare at him a second

he stares at you

"GOOD JOB Y/N!!!!!"

you turn to seungmin, who also scoops you into a hug, the rest of the boys crowding around you

you didnt even have a chance to be embarrassed about the weird eye contact you n hyunjin made

or about how. everyone in the bowling alley was staring at you guys.

because like…… suddenly

you just made a bunch of new friends

and one of them

helped you hit a pin for the first time.

and maybe….

he was still holding your hand

and maybe that felt really nice.

[evenstevensranked]

#21: Season 2, Episode 15 - “Sibling Rivalry”

In an attempt to settle their never-ending rivalry, Ren and Louis compete on a ridiculous game show called “Sib Wars.” There’s also Ren/Bobby/Mandy drama on the side which is beyond juicy. Meanwhile, Donnie has a date with a French girl and has Nelson translate for him. 

This one opens with Louis "Flossercising” -- A combination of flossing your teeth and exercising. Right off the bat, you know this episode is gonna be an outlandish one. He’s just chillin’, incorrectly lifting weights in a bathroom full of dental floss lol

How do you even buy that much dental floss? Also, I can’t deal with Shia’s face in this screenshot. ALSO, I’d like to talk to Sarah and Suzie and ask them what drugs they were on when they came up with “flossercising.” 

Ren starts freaking out at Louis because she needs to get ready for a date with Bobby and he’s cramping her style. They chase each other into Donnie’s room where we see Donnie super focused on learning French. I love how he’s dressed in the stereotypical black and white striped mime shirt -- sitting in front of a pile of French books, Eiffel Tower statues and a bowl of french fries while doing so. As if it’s a freaking séance to reach the ghosts of French experts. 

Cutting off his head was the only way I could get everything in the screenshot lol. 

This scene is pretty funny. After Louis and Ren come running into his room, Donnie tells them to knock it off because he only has one day to learn French. “That’s realistic” Ren says so sarcastically, I crack up every time. This is also where Ren calls Louis “infuriating” and he tries to call her it as well, but butchers the word and says “In-flirt-in-ate-ter-ing.” I remember this being used on a few ads for the show back in the day. Just then, Donnie grabs a VHS tape, shows it to them very dramatically and says “You guys need to see this.” And Louis is all “What? You lifting weights in your bathing suit? We already saw that.” HAHA!!! I love how Donnie is so obliviously vain, it’s great. Imagine subjecting your brother and sister to that. He quickly picks up the VHS he meant to show them, which is an accidental taping of a show called “Sibling Sessions.” 

This show within a show is so freaking hilarious. It’s like Dr. Phil if it were a show within a soap opera and filmed in a therapists office. The brother and sister (Kevin and Wendy) who appear on it are so lame and fake, it’s so good. The host makes Kevin apologize to Wendy and I died laughing. 

“It’s nothing against you, Wendy! You’re the BEST! I guess the reason I act the way I do, is because of my own insecurities. Deep down... I’m just a loser.” HAHAHAHAHAHA. The acting is purposely incredibly bad here, almost like an infomercial -- which makes it even better. The kid looks like he’s about to burst out laughing when he says “I’m just a loser” lol. 

Even Stevens seriously wins the award for Most Original Humor on Disney Channel. Ever. No other show has a strut quite like this one. I also thank god every day that ES didn’t have a laugh track. It simply doesn’t need one. 

Ren thinks the show seems professional and is down for appearing on it. Louis, on the other hand, is vehemently against it -- Until the host announces that Kevin and Wendy will receive two tickets to Happy Mountain Amusement Park for being on the show, lol. 

You just know this was an ad-lib, tbh. How does Shia even think of this stuff? What even is that facial expression? He’s too much...

I also just realized that Ren is definitely wearing the necklace Louis bought her in Swap.com. Ya know, the one she gave back to Ernie? Oops. 

Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Ren is expecting it to be Bobby, but *dun dun dunnn* It’s Nelson. This marks the start of the DRAMA!!! Bobby sent Nelson as the bearer of bad news. He’s there to let Ren know Bobby had to cancel their date because he has work to do with his lab partner. Hummmmm... Ren is immediately suspicious. Clearly, she does not trust Bobby and this relationship ain’t healthy. 

Somewhere around here, Donnie finds out that Nelson can speak French. So he asks him to translate on his upcoming date with some ~beautiful foreign exchange student.~ We also get the “HAAAAPPY MOUNTAIN! THE BIG OLD ROCK OF FUUUUUUN!” from Louis which is iconic. I’m just gonna go ahead and assume that most of the things Shia does in this episode are ad-libs.

The next day at school, Ren happens to catch Bobby working with his lab partner... who he conveniently forgot to mention is Mandy “Always-Gets-Her-Man” Sanchez. RED FLAG!!! MAJOR RED FLAG. 

When class lets out, there’s this awkward/passive-aggressive/mean girl moment between Ren and Mandy -- and it’s gold. Mandy says “Ren, love the lipstick! That color works so well on your THIN lips. :)” To which Ren responds, “You know? I wonder what it’d look like on a FAT LIP :)” hahahaha. Salty overload. Ren decides to privately confront Bobby about the situation after. Asking why he neglected to say that Mandy was his lab partner because Mandy is definitely into him, and he essentially tells her it’s all in her head. “Come on, it’s just Mandy. She flirts with everyone!” So, Ren convinces herself that she’s just overreacting. THIS IS SUCH A TEXTBOOK CASE OF A BAD RELATIONSHIP. You can clearly see that Ren is still suspicious though.. and it only gets worse when Bobby kisses her goodbye on the cheek instead of the lips. Oh, boy. Bobby sucks. 

Ren and Louis go to an audition for “Sibling Sessions” but when they get there they see that the show has been rebranded as “Sib Wars” -- a competition show. Apparently the ratings were in the toilet. Can’t imagine why!!! Who wouldn’t want to watch a low-level, PBS knock-off of Dr. Phil?! The show is on the verge of being cancelled all together, unless they can find two bickering siblings to compete ASAP -- and Louis and Ren answer their prayers. They come barging in like two arguing tornados. I love their little fight here though, lol. Ren claims that Louis got ice cream in her hair and Louis says “Did it ever occur to you that YOUR hair got in MY ice cream? Did that enter your skull?!” He has a point. Ren obviously considers herself to be the superior sibling, so she has no doubt that she’ll win the cheesy competition. “I could even grow a mustache before you!” she threatens. And Louis comes back with one of my favorite burns everrrr: “You could. In fact, it’s coming in quite nicely!” HAHA. Shia and Christy go on to totally ad-lib a heated argument and I love it. 

The host, David Blackburn, is so over the top with everything he does. On “Sibling Sessions” he was over the top melodramatic and on “Sib Wars” he’s over the top excited. It’s like he’s incapable of acting like a normal human. Normally, I cannot stand when shows go overboard with obnoxiousness.. but I can’t help but laugh at this guy. He starts wearing a cheap, short, dreads wig to try to seem more ~hip~ and young, (”Is my hair on straight?”) which is hilarious to me. And this dude delivers every single one of his lines with such a perfect balance of fake enthusiasm and the insecurity that comes along with trying way too hard to be cool. It just gets me for some reason, lol. I’m also almost positive that HE’S doing the voiceover announcing HIMSELF as “the handsome, the talented -- DAVID BLACKBURRRRRNNNN!” haha. I have to gif the footage of his introduction because it’s honestly so meme-worthy and hysterical imo: 

If I had the power, I’d make nearly every other moment of every Even Stevens episode a popular meme. It’s beyond deserving... Yet, the only meme that’s come out of Even Stevens is Beans. Great. This show is truly one of the greatest, overlooked TV gems ever. 

Anyway, I’m pretty sure the “TV G” was edited in for “Sib Wars” specifically. I don’t remember Even Stevens ever having a rating pop up like that before, so that’s pretty awesome lol. I’m not sure what part of this gif gets me the worst, though. When he flips his “hair” back, the zoom-out shot of him like “ :D ” or the “THAT’S ME!” It’s all brilliant. I’ve been laughing at this for 5 minutes straight.

The game show ends up being incredibly stupid with the dumbest questions and categories ever... So it’s basically tailor-made for Louis Stevens. Therefore, he literally leaves Ren in the dust -- 500 points to 0. There’s also a “Pudding Pit of Doom” round where yet another bad Louis stunt double flips into the vat: 

I never noticed how many stunts happen on this show until now. This guy is obviously older and has a completely different build than Shia. They really don’t even try lol. 

David Blackburn announces that Louis and Ren will return the next day for the “Ultimate Humiliation” round -- where they have 1 minute to totally mortify the other on public access television. Fun! Louis is scrambling to find some dirt on Ren, and he fails. The closest thing he gets is her “brushing her teeth inefficiently” on tape. This bit always stuck with me though!! He explains the footage to Twitty and says “Look at the technique. She’s doing that upward thing, you’re not supposed to be doing that! You’re supposed to do the little circles!” I think about this every single time I brush my teeth and have since always brushed in a circular motion lol. 

The drama reaches the climax right about now when Louis and Twitty catch Bobby and Mandy walking down the hall together very flirtatiously. Their first thought is to start recording -- and boy did they end up capturing the most DRAMATIC TEEN DRAMA MOMENT THE SHOW HAS EVER SEEN: 

Is this Even Stevens or Degrassi???

When I rewatched this episode for the first time in a few years, I was genuinely shocked. I knew Bobby was “cheating,” but I always remembered it as only flirting or a lingering hug. (Ya know... because Disney.) But, NOPE. It was an actual kiss on the lips. Bobby is a RAT and I never liked him. It’s really too bad they didn’t end the series with some comedic plot where Ren and Larry realize their feelings for each other because trust me..... the feelings are there. That’s way better content than Bobby freakin’ Deaver. HE WAS NEVER FOR YOU, REN!

Louis’ plan is to be a slimeball and use this footage in the Ultimate Humiliation round. That’s honestly so messed up, I can’t even fathom that idea. Imagine video of your significant other kissing some other person airing for everyone to see. Dang. I told you this was dramatic. 

This subplot is really, really short. So I’ll wrap it up now as usual. It’s just Donnie on his date with Sandrine (played by Danica McKellar from The Wonder Years) with Nelson translating. Basically, Nelson’s allergies to everything flare up. He takes over the date and steals Sandrine’s attention away from Donnie. That’s it. There’s this one screenshot that’s pretty great without context tho: 

Back to the main plot. Ren decided to use Louis’ nasty bed sheet as her way to humiliate him. I love how she titled the exhibit "Louis: An American Tragedy" lol: 

When it’s Ren’s turn to sit in the hot seat, she takes a moment to give a shout out to Bobby. Saying how happy she is that they’re together and she hopes they can stay together. Of course. Meanwhile, Louis is standing there holding the VHS tape of Bobby cheating. It’s intense. Ultimately, Louis makes the right decision and doesn’t show the tape. He just gives up and says he didn’t come prepared with anything. I LOVE SEEING GOOD LITTLE BROTHER LOUIS, MAN!!! Ren is declared the winner. 

Louis knows that Ren doesn’t deserve to continue to be lead on by Bobby. So at home that night, Louis simply gives Ren the tape. The footage is pretty self explanatory. It fades to a very dramatic shot of Ren breaking up with Bobby by giving him his letterman jacket back. I hate Bobby. He’s standing there all sad. Like... Come on, man. Don’t act like you're upset about what you did. You knew full well what you were doing. 

Ren’s head to toe light blue ensemble is... something. 

Ren thanks Louis for not showing the tape on TV and he says “Ren, you’re my sister. I wouldn’t do you like that.” MY HEART. That vibe changes quickly though when Louis asks if he can be her plus 1 to Happy Mountain lol. 

And that’s it. The episode ends with Donnie watching the video of him lifting weights in his bathing suit. haha. 

I really like this episode. It’s not one of my personal favorites, but this episode is most true to the series' premise. If you look at it literally, it’s the most "Even Stevens" episode ever tbh -- which is why it's higher on the list. I also just cannot get over the level of legit drama here with the Bobby/Mandy stuff! Crazy. Louis is a great brother here, too.. which is so amazing to see. There aren’t any giant laugh-out-loud moments, but the dialogue here is so snappy and smart. I found myself laughing quite a bit due to how great the writing is and the delivery from the cast all around. Everyone is on point here. 

Thanks for reading!!

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[ohohpierre]

things about my "natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812" experience

-before the prologue, the main cast (minus josh, denee, and nicholas) came out and danced around saying hi to people

-THE PROLOGUE, everybody came up and around the aisles (i had an aisle seat). one of the ensemble dudes came up real close and sang right next to me -pierre raises his fist at the end of “pierre”. and when he sings “i’m different from you”, he doesn’t cry it out, and says kinda said it softly 

-during Moscow, denee and brittain were teasing around and making fun if marya’s entrance my bowing around and giggling when they said each other’s name

-during Moscow, Marya literally waves off Sonya’s intro; they also keep in the squeak 

-during “the private and intimate life of the house”, when bolkonski says “powdered wig”, he kinda slaps the wig, and powder flies up around him from it

-also in “tpailofh”, mary is basically crying the entire time. when she sings wondering if she’ll ever be anyone’s wife, she pulls up someone from the stage chair, and kinda shows him off to her father. and when bolkonski is looking for some “young french thing”, he too finds someone from the audience and kisses them all sloppily 

-during “natasha and bolkonskis”, gelsey and denee take stools from the side of the stage and manuever them into a table around people and pretend to be kind to each other 

-during “no one else”, denee didn’t sing as sharp as she does on the soundtrack, she sang it a lot softer and solemn. i cried at the “you and i"s. she’s bathed in blue “moonlight” the entire time. 

-when denee says “and flying away…like this,” she seems to lift herself up and somehow float down to the next step all gracefully 

-after pierre says “no i am enjoying myself at home this evening” in the opera, he fistbumps the air like he did in “pierre” 

-the opera scene is absolutely terrifying. someone in a black cape came down the aisle and scared the shit out of me

-also, after the main opera scene ends, everything is frozen and denee and brittain are up center stage, and denee jaw is open in awe

-when anatole walked in and stopped, he snapped his head with each beat, and then started walking down the stairs. he also kissed a woman’s cheek as he passed. 

-when dolokhov starts saying “drink, drink” he has glasses on a tray and a bottle, and he spins the tray and just pours the drinks and it looks pretty cool 

-during the duel, the fucking strobe lights are so intense, it was hard to see and it was fucking awesome, and a bunch of the ensemble laid down in the aisle. they were all wearing glow sticks and stuff like that 

-when pierre says “i used to love, i used to love, i used to be better”, he walks across the front mezzanine aisle, and i freaked out because josh was so close

-when helene says “he will kill you stupid husband”, she cries it out loudly and its kinda sad and intense 

-dust and ashes is absolutely beautiful 

-during “sunday morning”, when denee talks about how she sees a man in shadow, pierre is directly behind her in shadow 

-anatole sits on the piano during “the ball”. the ensemble dancers go around between the front and rear mezzanines. and girls/girls dance with each other and boys/boys dance together. and most of the ensemble have metallic animal heads on and it looks pretty cool 

-during “letters”, the ensemble passes out letters to some of the audience, and then they just sit down where they are. one of the ensemble members tried to give one to a lady and she didn’t take it so he just gave it to the lady next to her 

-also during letters, natasha and pierre sing "i see nothing but the candle in the mirror, no visions of the future, so lost and alone” and they stare at each other the whole time, and i died 

-when anatole says "just say yes..." before the last one, because natasha hasn't answered yet, he does that impatient and "c'mon" motion with his hands

-the “whoa, whoah, whoah” that anatole does at the end of “balaga” was fantastic (i didn’t see lucas, it was josh canfield, and he was so good)

-the fucking abduction scene, so much better than the tony performance, it was so intense, the whole cast was there, it was awesome

-denee smashed the painting over balaga’s head again, but she was somehow cuter than the tony awards, which i didn’t think was possible

-marya and helene made out

-when anatole tells everyone to sit down, we could hear him whisper “here, here, scooch over” as he sat down next to one of the ladies on the stage

-when josh began his verse in “the abduction”, everyone paused, and he just chuckled before he continued

-when marya caught anatole coming in, the stage turned red, and she came through the big door at the top of the stage

-denee’s “don’t touch me”s were heartwrenching

-during “pierre and anatole”, pierre knocks over the fucking chair in anger, and knocks a bunch of books off his desk as he shakes anatole. then, towards the end, anatole, like a child, swipes all the rest of the papers off his desk. 

-after natasha drinks the poison, she screams in pain several times and runs for sonya, and it’s absolutely gut wrenching.

-during “pierre and natasha”, pierre is sort of following behind natasha as he says “open your heart to someone, not now but when your mind is clear, think of me...” and natasha turns around suddenly, and natasha and pierre are standing face to face really close,  and pierre says “pierre grew confused” pretty softly because it’s WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HE LOVES NATASHA

-denee’s cries were so fucking sad

-during the spoken bit in “pierre and natasha”, his voice broke when he said he wasn’t free, and he just barely whispered that he offered her his love (someone’s phone went off TWICE during this song and i wanted to kill them, i was so angry)

-in the final song, pierre is not fully illuminated under the comet, he is just barely illuminated by the light emitting from the comet. it looks like he’s outside. and he sang so softly.

+

-when she was getting passionate, denee would have a wide stance and kind lean forward, kinda like wonder woman’s stance minus the arms

-pierre followed denee a lot during her scenes when he was in the orchestra pit

[theygotmewhipped]

Skin - 8. Tattoo

Word Count: 4 765

“Do we really have to do this?” Kyungsoo came out of Chanyeol’s room in shorts, crop top and wig, wearing make-up.

“Yope.” I grinned. Jongin, Yixing, Junmyeon and Minseok entered the living room dressed in sexy and revealing clothing, and stood next to Kyungsoo in front of the rest of us. We started laughing out loud at them, enjoying the sight.

“Really funny, guys.” Minseok rolled his eyes annoyed.

“Thank god we won.” Sehun was laughing so much, his eyes were barely visible.

“Are you done?” Kyungsoo waited for us to stop laughing.

“Okay, okay.” I giggled. “But I gotta say, I’m actually kinda mad right now. Why does Junmyeon’s legs look better than mine in those dress? That’s unfair! And Jongin, how the hell do I get a waist like that?! Seriously, I’m never wearing a crop top again because of you.” How can boys look better wearing skirts and shit than most of the girls?! I’m offended.

“We do look quite good, don’t we?” Yixing posed for us with a smile.

“What are you talking about, Yumi? I haven’t seen anyone look better than you in a dress or a crop top.” Chanyeol said completely serious, receiving a shocked silence and stares from all of us.

“E-?” I stared at him with wide eyes and opened mouth. When Chanyeol noticed our surprise, he panicked and his face flushed red.

“Uh-ah-what I meant to say…um…was…eh…that-that you look better…cause, you know, they are guys and…you are not…and…” He stumbled on his words.

“Stop trying, dude. We all know what you really wanted to say.” Baekhyun tried to end his suffering with a bit of mocking, putting an arm around his back. Chanyeol just hung down his head in defeat.

“Let’s go celebrate!” Jongdae yelled and jumped up of the couch. Sweet god, please help me.

“I kinda feel sorry for you, guys.” I said as we sat in a bar. Our “spice girls” were receiving a lot of lustful and horny looks since we arrived and they sat hunched, trying to cover themselves as much as possible.

“No, you don’t.” Minseok replied, not believing me for a single second.

“Ah, you’re right. The taste of victory is was too sweet and you get to taste what it feels like to be a woman at least for one night so that’s another win for me.” I smugly shrugged with and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Chanyeol immediately turned at me, cutting of his conversation with Sehun.

“To get a drink.” I picked up my empty glass as a proof, knitting my eyebrows at his intrusiveness.

“I’ll go with you.” He immediately started to stand up like someone poked him in the butt.

“No need.” I frowned feeling like he was invading more than usual. “Moreover, the princesses here need someone to protect them from big bad wolves that are lurking around these woods, so you should totally stay and be their hero.” I suggested to him to let me go alone in an obscure way.

“But…” Even then, he tried to protest.

“I said stay!” I put it bluntly this time. He closed his mouth and sat back down. Thank God, I really need at least few minutes without them. For fucks sake, I’ve spent an entire day with these crazy mofos from another planet. Feels like an eternity. My life force has literally been drained from me. I don’t even know how I am still standing.

“Um, hi. Could you please give me vodka with orange juice? Oh, and make it double, please.” I addressed the bartender. I just need to drown the stress so I can survive.

“Coming up right.” The bartender turned to the bottles behind him.

“Must have been a tough day if such a pretty young lady is drinking alone at the bar.”  Some weird dude approached me. I ignored him and kept looking over the bar. I’m not in a mood for some douchy dumbass who thinks he’s charming. “Playing hard to get, huh?” He kept speaking. Yep, total asshole. “Hey, I’m talking to you!” He said angrily after I ignored him again. Can’t he take a hint? Seriously, dude, you ain’t getting none, fuck off. Why do men like this try to cure their inferiority complexes and blue balls by hitting on some girl at a bar and then getting angry if she’s not interested? Isn’t it more embarrassing then just letting go after the first sentence without response?

“Here’s your drink, miss.” The bartender handed me a glass and I gave him money.

“Thanks.” I took the glass and left.

“Bitch, are you just going to ignore me?!” He strolled after me. This guy seems to be especially persistent. Better get to the table before he tries anything. I picked up the pace a little. Who would have thought that those nine fools would become a safe space?

“What do you think you’re doing?” A deep cold voice was audible behind me. Chanyeol? I turned around with wide eyes. Chanyeol was tightly grabbing onto that asshole’s arm that was reaching in my direction, glaring daggers into him. I hadn’t even noticed he was about to touch me.  My breath became erratic.

“No-nothing, man.” The guy looked kinda baffled. “I didn’t know she was here with someone.” He tried to explain himself.

“Even if she wasn’t, that doesn’t give you a right to harass her.” Chanyeol was even more pissed off than the time I belittled and slandered his charity days at hospital. “Get lost! Now!” He let go of his arm and glared at him until he left. I stood there in astonishment not knowing what to do. “Seems like one princess needed saving after all.” Chanyeol smirked at me, his anger disappearing without a trace.

“I…Thank you.” I was still getting over what just happened.

All of sudden, all the others boys hurriedly approached us. This time even Chanyeol looked perplexed, not just me.

“Uhm, I think we should leave.” Junmyeon was in distress. Well, not just him, they all looked like someone was after them.

“Like, now!” Sehun said in urgency.

“Wha-why?” I asked.

“Long story short. Jongin punched someone near the restrooms so we better leave before anyone finds out.” Jongdae quickly explained. We looked at Jongin who just apologetically smiled and shrugged.

“Oh God.” I sighed and drank the whole glass at once.

“Damn, girl!” Baekhyun commented as everyone stared at me with wide eyes.

“Kay, let’s go!” Chanyeol ushered us out. We got out and ran down the street and around the corner.

“Ever loving Michelle Obama.” I was hyperventilating. “There is not a single minute of peace and quiet when you lunatics are around.” I can’t feel my lungs. Or maybe I feel them too much? Oh how I hate running.

“You’ll have all the peace and quiet you need when you’re dead.” Kyungsoo countered. “At least that’s what they told me.” He shrugged seemingly unaffected by the run.

“Heh?” I squinted at him through my heavy breaths.

“Let’s just go home. I think we’ve had enough for one day.” Jongin suggested.

“You think?” All of us said in unison staring at him in disbelief.

After we got home Kyungsoo and Minseok went to change.

“Aren’t you going to change as well?” Chanyeol asked Yixing, Junmyeon and Jongin.

“You know, it’s actually quite comfortable.” Junmyeon wiggled in the dress.

“Yeah, the amount of space down there is…liberating.” Yixing plopped down on the couch.

“Eww, at least close your legs, man. I don’t wanna look at your junk.” Baekhyun scrunched his nose on the other side of the sitting space.

“We all know you’re enjoying it so why the hell you lying?” I teased him.

“I sure would enjoy it if it was you sitting there.” He replied with a smug face. Junmyeon who was about to sit down next to him just smacked him across his head making me giggle.

“Sorry, but my shop has strict anti-losers policy, loser.” I smirked at him.

“At least we know why Chanyeol didn’t get in.” Sehun said not looking up from his phone. We all started chuckling like an idiots.

“What’s so funny?” Minseok entered the room now wearing sweatpants and a tank top.

“Well I’m done with you all today. Good night, losers.” I took my stuff and made an escape to my room.

I was about to get comfortable and finally relax when there was a knock on my door. “What?!” I opened the door, revealing Chanyeol carrying pillow and blanket in baggy shorts and white shirt with holes, giving me a sad puppy eyes. I let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not gonna like this, am I?”

“Can I please sleep in your room?”

“No.” I answered sternly.

“But…”

“No.”

“Yumi, let me explain…” He pleaded with me.

“No.”

“I kinda miscalculated.” He proceeded anyway.

“No.”

“And now there is only eight…”

“No.” I kept repeating myself while he was trying to explain the situation.

“…and I forgot to…”

“No.”

“…include myself.”

“No.”

“That’s why I need…”

“No.”

“…a place to sleep.”

“Ugh, fine.” I gave up. “But you sleep on the floor.”

“Thanks, Yumi. You’re a real life savior.” He brightly smiled at me and entered the room.

“Tell me something I don’t know. I should’ve just let you sleep on those cold kitchen floor tiles or something.” I closed the door behind him and climbed into my bed while he made his on the floor.

After watching few episodes of Punisher I checked up on Chanyeol. “Hey, Yeol.” I called out to him. No answer. “Are you asleep?” Still no response. Cool, I’m taking my leave then. I took my wallet and keys, then checked up on Chanyeol once again.

He looks like a cute giant baby when he’s sleeping and that peaceful silence. It’s an unbelievable sight to see him not spitting out words one after another longer than ten seconds for once. I kneeled down in front of his face.

Looks squishy. Must touch. My brain completely shut down letting my instincts take over. My hand moved with a mind of its own and poked his cheek. After receiving no reaction I reached out again and carefully put my fingers on his face softly caressing his cheek. I don’t know if it’s because he’s asleep or because I’m the one initiating the touch but I don’t feel the usual anxiety. It’s still burning a little but it’s not that bad. He’s so soft. I am barely touching him but still…

Suddenly he exhaled sharply through his nose. “Shit.” I pulled my arm back. Maybe he’s just dreaming since he doesn’t seem to be waking up. Nevertheless, what the heck was I just doing?! That was unbelievably stupid! Aaand the brain power is back on. Time to leave.

I left the apartment and entered the first opened pub I found.

“The strongest drink you’ve got, please.” I ordered. After today, it’s not gonna be enough anyway. I’m not sure if light drugs would be enough at this point.

“Are you sure, miss?” The bartender raised an eyebrow at me.

“Yep.” Dude, if you had to survive a day with nine guys with minds of ten years old, you would want some too. I know what I’m talking about.

“Can I see your ID, please?” You gotta be kidding me. I’m not twelve. I took out my ID and handed it over to him. He suspiciously checked it out for almost a whole minute then returned it like he never asked.

“I’ll have Bacardi, please.” Familiar voice next to me ordered.

“Did you follow me, you skank?” I turned to look at Chanyeol. Wasn’t he sleeping?

“Yeah, kinda. I heard you leave so I got worried since it’s middle of the night and I…” He admitted.

“Geez, okay, just shut up.” There goes my alone time. I already miss his sleeping self. Wait…Fuck. I hope he wasn’t up, when I touched him!! Shit, what am I gonna do if he knows?! I looked at him trying to hide my panic. Well, he’s not saying anything about it and doesn’t look flustered or confused. And he doesn’t seem to be deep in thoughts, although he never does. Geez, I’m so stupid. But he’s quiet so I guess my dignity remains without a harm.

After the bartender handed us our orders, we sat at the bar looking at our glasses like two losers.

“I have an idea.” Chanyeol lifted his head up looking like he just solved how to end the global warming.

“No.” I dismissed him immediately.

“You don’t even know what it is.” He complained.

“Knowing you, it’s definitely something that’s gonna make me regret ever leaving my bed. So no.” That’s the most probable outcome to anything that comes out of Chanyeol’s head.

“No, it’s not.” He was persuading me.

“Gosh, fine. What is it?” I rolled my eyes. He would go on and on until I would let him speak and I’m too tired for that right now.

“Why don’t we play ‘two truths one lie’ while we drink?” Chanyeol laid out his grand idea.

“No.” I replied as usual knowing all too well it would be bite me in the ass in the end if I went along with it.

“Why ‘no’?”

“Why yes? Why do you want to play?” I didn’t understand why he was so adamant about it.

“Cos I want to get to know you better.” He had an amiable smile plastered on his face.

“Why would you want that? There’s nothing interesting to know about me.” I didn’t want to accept his motives.

“Because we are friends. I want to know even the boring stuff although I doubt there is some.” He chuckled to himself.

“Even if you say so, you are still mistaken at one thing. You may consider me your friend but you are not mine.” I reminded him and coldly looked at him. He furrowed his brows and frowned for a second then smiled.

“If you say so.” Why the heck is he smiling? “Despite that, I still want to play.” I just told him he is basically no one to me and yet here he is smiling acting like nothing happened. What’s going on in his head?

“Fine, whatever, if it makes you happy I don’t care as long as I get to drink. Let’s go sit elsewhere though.” I stood up. Chanyeol took the glasses and followed me to one of the tables.

“Cheers to us!” He handed me a glass.

“Cheers I suppose.” We drank the content. “Bleh, what the…this is not my drink!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah…I know.” Chanyeol said with a twisted face. “Why did you order something so strong?”

“You exchanged them on purpose, didn’t you?” I regarded him with blank expression. Why am I not surprised?

“Yep.” He regretted drinking the stronger shot.

“Why?” I was displeased.

“Cos I didn’t want you to get drunk and then feel sick.” He gave me pleading eyes.

“First of all, I can handle my liquor and second, don’t be so overprotective over everything I do. Seriously, dude, I’m not made of sugar and you are not my mom.” I was serious.

“I can see that now.” He stood up. “If you excuse me, I’m gonna get myself some water.” What a baby.

“You know how to play, right?” He asked when he got back.

“It’s not quantum physics, of course, I do.” I rolled my eyes.

“Okay, okay. So who goes first?” He is way too excited to play this game for kids.

“I don’t really care, you can go first if you want to.” I laid my head on my hand nonchalantly staring at him.

“Alright. So…I have a sister. I can play piano. And I hate romantic movies.” He counted the statements on his fingers.

“The second one is a lie. You play guitar, not piano.” I answered without hesitation.

“Wrong. I actually play piano, guitar and drums. The third was a lie. I kinda like romantic movies.” I wasn’t paying much attention to the game nor was I planning to but he had me intrigued from the beginning. How does one even master so many instruments?

“I should have known that since you’re such a softie and all.” I looked down at the empty glass hiding my amazement. “I have a new rule, if you don’t mind.” I looked up at him.

“Okay?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Every time we get it wrong we drink a shot. What do you say? Something light of course so we won’t be fuck faced after two rounds.” I suggested. Mainly because I wanted to get drunk. But I kinda wanted to see if Chanyeol’s personality would change under the influence. Maybe his innocent act will finely fall off.

“Um, okay, sure, we can do that.” He agreed. I got us the drinks and immediately gulped one down.

“My turn. So, I have a sister as well.” Obvious truth, since he met her. “I work as a waitress. And I want to visit New York.” It’s actually kinda hard to think of a lie for it to sound like it’s the truth.

“The second is definitely a lie. You hate interacting with people way too much to work as a waitress.” He replied confidently and I grinned.

“Well, drink up, boy, cos you got it wrong. The New York one was a lie.” I smiled victoriously.

“Why don’t you want to visit New York?” He turned a glass down.

“Because it’s just an overhyped concrete jungle with too many people and nothing special. Who cares about copper lady and what used to be the tallest building.” I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but it’s what I think. I’d rather explore Amazon Forest than visit New York.

“Uhm, okay.” Chanyeol didn’t comment it further with an unreadable expression. Then he proceeded to play the game instead. “First, I haven’t had a relationship. When I have kids. I want them to be a boy and a girl in that order. And the last, I like broccoli.” He smirked at me, being sure I would get this wrong.

“Oh well, the second is oddly specific, but I think that’s a truth.” I studied Chanyeol’s face for clues. “There’s a lot of people who like broccoli, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did, but I’m pretty sure that you’ve been single your whole life, which leads us back to the small tree. The third is a lie.” I was convinced. Chanyeol just chuckled.

“I like your thinking but no. I really do like broccoli.” He amusedly smiled giving me a chance to correct myself.

“Then you don’t want to have kids in that order or not at all or what?” I just shoot at the possibilities of the second statement.

“No, that was the truth as well. The first was a lie.” He snorted, somewhat upset that I didn’t consider that option at all. I frowned.

“You’ve had a relationship? Like dating somebody? Really?” I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

“Is it really that surprising?” Chanyeol snorted again.

“Well, yeah.” I emptied another glass.

“Am I so horrible for you to think that I never dated anyone?” He was frowning. Is he hurt by that idea?

“No, actually you’re what most of the girls would call boyfriend material or goals or some shit like that.” His frown disappeared after I said that. Instead a small smile appeared on his face. “I just don’t understand how haven’t you kissed or fucked anyone if you’ve been in a relationship.” I explained what led me to my conclusion.

“Relationships aren’t just about that. And at that time I didn’t feel ready, I didn’t needed it. I was happy just to hold her and have her by my side. Although, she apparently wasn’t since she was sleeping with some other guy behind my back. But that doesn’t change anything about the fact that physical contact isn’t the only thing that makes relationship a relationship.” Says a guy who literally looked for a cuddly buddy. …although it is true that he didn’t requested cuddling for quite some time now. …did he stop asking for them because he had found out about my fear? Or even before that? I have no idea how the timeline goes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” I hung my head down. I can sympathize with him. One bad partner can mess up your whole life. Some may even never get over what’s been done to them.

“It’s alright. How could you, right?” He tried to brighten up a little.

“I think, we should flush it down with a drink.” I suggested. Let the alcohol wash away all the resurfacing memories.

“Kay, then it’s your turn.” He lifted a glass. We looked at each other smiling over the pain and drank the content of our glasses.

“Fine.” I took a while to think. “I used to have sugar gliders as pets. I hate you. I would sell my soul to meet with Ryan Reynolds.” I felt the alcohol finally kicking in.

“That’s easy.” Chanyeol smirked. “Second one is a lie. You don’t really hate me even though you say you do. A lot, and often.” He snickered.

“How did you know?” I didn’t expect him to get it right. I mean I do say that I hate him pretty often.

“I just know. Your actions speak for you even if you don’t realize it.” He was happily smiling.

“What are you talking about?” I raised an eyebrow at him. What actions? I’m not aware of anything I did that could let him think otherwise.

“Nothing, it’s my turn.” He dismissed it.

 “We really don-now anything about each otha, do we?” Chanyeol jumbled his words. After a few more rounds we were completely trashed, now trying to get home.

“Well, we know each other just a few weeks so it’s not that supr-rprising.” I got stuck on the last word.

“I saw Baekhyun naked after three days.” He said seriously.

“Now that, is not a surprise at all.” We laughed at that. “But! I did see you naked already as well.” I pointed out, trying to implicate that it has nothing to do with actually knowing each other. Chanyeol’s ears turned red, now matching his cheeks red from alcohol.

“Haha, yeah.” He was embarrassed.

Somehow we ended up in a park few blocks away. We sat down on the grass and looked in to the night. Everything seemed so peaceful without people rushing around. It was just us and the dark sky above us.

“Thank you.” I said out of nowhere. My mouth worked quicker than my brain could process.

“Huh? What for?” He looked at me for clarification.

“For being you.” I looked into his lost eyes. I think I’m gonna regret this tomorrow but I’m drunk and feeling weirdly content right now so let this be a new reason for anxiety of my future self instead of present.

“I must say I don’t understand right now.” He said completely serious looking like all the alcohol has drained from him for a moment.

“Thank you for being the way you are. For being so patient and considerate with me. I really appreciate it even though it might not look like it. And thank you for making me feel alive again after what feels like an eternity.” I expressed my feelings honestly. Maybe it’s the alcohol or the fact that I’m exhausted that I let this slip out of my mouth but I couldn’t careless at the moment. I wasn’t feeling on the edge for the first time in a while and everything just seemed so calm. This was where I was supposed to be at the moment and I wanted to savor it.

“My pleasure.” He sincerely smiled at me.

“Geez, I’m making this beautiful night so serious.” I fell back and lied down on the grass not wanting to continue this emotional skydiving.

“Can I ask you something?” He turned around leaning over me.

“Sure.” I shrugged.

“What made you like this? What happened to you that it makes you panic when you’re touched by someone?” He got a bit closer but still kept his distance. And there goes the peace of the night. My face froze in an angry expression.

“None of your business.” I growled. Chanyeol moved away from me with baffled expression and turn his face away from me.

“I shouldn’t have asked. My bad, I’m sorry.” His pained voice forced me to calm down making me realize that I lashed out at him for nothing.

“No, I’m sorry.” I sat back up. “I just really don’t want to think about that right now. They’re not exactly pleasant memories and it’s better to not bring them up.” I explained ashamed by my reaction.

“It’s okay. I understand. You don’t have to push yourself.” He smiled reassuringly.

“Thanks.” I gratefully smiled at him. All of a sudden a chill ran through me making me shiver. Chanyeol must have noticed because he took off his hoodie and handed it to me.

“Here, put this on. It’s quite cold outside.” I accepted his offer and reached for his hoodie.

“Huh?” I halted when I noticed a familiar picture on his arm. “Is that…? How did you…?” I stared at his arm mind blown. Is it real? How long does he have it and why haven’t I noticed till now?

“Oh, the tattoo?” He twisted his arm more so it would be more visible. “I really liked your drawing so I took it and had it tattooed. Looks awesome, doesn’t it?” He brightly smiled.

“Why would you do that?” I asked quietly, completely shocked. It was just a useless sketch inspired by his guitar. It wasn’t even completely finished. Just piece of trash that was supposed to end up in junkyard or be recycled into a toilette paper. Instead he made it into an eternal piece of art. On his body nevertheless.

“Because it spoke to me. When I saw the unique style in which you draw the guitar I just couldn’t help it. I wanted the feeling I had while looking at it to last forever.” He caressed the tattoo with a fond smile.

“I…I don’t know what to say.” It was so unexpected to see my drawing immortalized on someone’s body. I never imagined something like this to happen. I can’t say it didn’t make me happy though. Something I did, I created, was good enough for someone. My work held a meaning in someone else’s mind. I wonder when he took it though. I hadn’t even noticed him taking it home from the hospital.

“Just put on the hoodie before you freeze to death.” He warmly looked at me and changed the subject. I put on the hoodie and looked at the horizon above the buildings, thankful that he didn’t elaborate any further. I had mixed feelings about this whole situation.

“It’s already dawn?! Let’s go home before your friends wake up.” I stood up and brushed off my butt in a stupid attempt to escape this night that turned into an emotional turmoil.

“Minseok is probably already up.” Chanyeol said thinking looking at his watch.

“Wha-? I’m not even asking. He gives me creeps anyway.” I shook my head. Chanyeol just giggled. Who in their right mind wakes up so early in the morning? One day, there’ll be news on the TV about some crazy serial killer with some weird habits and carving initials into their victims and then there’ll be Minseok’s picture shown and I won’t even get shocked because who else than serial killer would wake up at this ungodly hour.

“Oh, and they are your friends as well now. There is no escaping us anymore. With me, you basically signed up for the whole squad.” He grinned. So I’m basically next body in the ditch somewhere, is that it? Either I kill myself because I won’t be able to handle their presence or I’ll be Minseok’s next victim. The end of the month was never this far away.

“You gotta be kidding me, right? Even having you around is too much for my poor soul of eighty year old granny.” I complained. I won’t survive for another week if Chanyeol makes me spend time with them again.

“No.” He happily skipped around me. “And when I win our bet, you’ll never get rid of us.” He laughed.

“Good thing that I’m winning then.” I scoffed.

First Chapter——–Previous Chapter——–Next Chapter

Bonus:

I just love this boy and his tattoos..

xx

[thebigpotatoqueen]

My haircut got me all fucked up

When it comes to my physical appearance, I’ve sort of stopped caring. I don’t mean that in a depression sort of way, I mean in more like “eh, conforming to beauty standards isn’t my thing.” So I don’t care much if I don’t wear make up or wearing the most stylish clothes or whatever. Jealous of the people who DO have A Grade makeup and style game, but it’s also not the end of the world that I’m not on their level of expertise and skill.

Same thing with the weight. I stopped caring a while ago. The hair on my body is a bit of an issue, but I can deal. Same thing with my acne. It sucks and I hate it, but I’m not rushing to hide them or giving two shits to find a miracle cure (unless it’s REALLY bad and super red and just like “ugh, go away before my next interview). 

My hair though? Completely different story. 

When it comes to my hair, I am 100% a slave to it. And I don’t mean I spend hours styling it. It’s hard to explain.

See, my hair is SUPER thick and heavy. I’ll probably never go bald. And it’s also natural wavy (and it sucks). Because of this, growing my hair out was near impossible. I looked like a dustmop and it was ugly and unhealthy and just ew.

But for the longest time, I would not cut my hair short. When I was a kid (like 6-11), I had really bad associations with short hair. Mainly because when I got my hair cut at Great Clips, they cut it into the style of a boy. Like this. On a little girl who was already bullied at school for being fat and being VERY boyish. 

Basically, thanks for extra boost of the low self esteem. 

So for almost my entire elementary school life, everyone (and I mean EVERYONE, strangers/adults included) all consistently called me a boy because I had no boobs (didn’t get those until about like 6th/7th grade, thanks puberty), a boyish looking face, wore dude clothes because I was one of those girls who believed pink was icky and lame, and didn’t like skirts because whatever tomboy reasons I had. 

Like I would go to the fucking restroom to pee and a woman would put their unwelcomed hand on my shoulder and tell me that “The boy’s restroom is over there.”

This fucked me up mentally to the point where I grew out my hair just so people would identify me by my correct gender. I hated how my hair looked long (if you can call it long when it barely went to the shoulder), but I hated the idea of being called a boy even more, so I did everything I could to get it long. Never got it past my shoulder, but at least people identified me as a girl. The boobs might have helped, but still.

So when I FINALLY decided to cut my hair short again when an actual professional stylist did the cut in the 10th grade, I cried.

I bawled like a little bitch in that stylish chair because my hair was short and it brought back the worst flashbacks ever. 

Now clearly, if you look through my selfie tag, I kept the short hair. Mainly because my hair looked better/healthier because of it and it was in a style I liked. Also I’m a lazy shit and short hair is just more easily managed that long hair. 

BUT

I, to this day, LOATHE getting a hair cut. I mean, I obviously get it cut because if I don’t, I’d have Rapunzel hair by now. But I am SO picky and tense about the stylist cutting it too short or doing something I don’t like that brings back those horrible memories and feelings during when my hair was “boy short.”

That was one of the many reasons why I had the long sideband pixie cut. It made my face look feminine and I felt cute and pretty and girly and it was fun to dye my bangs a certain color and have that whole “two-toned” look going. 

And then yesterday, I got a fucking hair cut because my hair was getting WAY too thick and crazy (which made it greasy, ew) and the stylist told me that the reason for that was that my bangs were too long and making it heavy. And yeah, my bangs were too long and I was like “yeah, trim them and shorten them if it’ll make the top part thinner or whatever.”

That apparently translated to “chop them off.”

And now I have a haircut where my bangs are short and look uneven when they’re pushed to the side and they’re naturally wavy and the back of my hair is puffing up and I swear to god I have seen this exactly same haircut on little boys. 

So now I practically want to set myself on fire every time I look into a mirror/camera with this damn thing (or at least just shave the whole thing off and wear wigs for the rest of my life) because I absolutely hate it. I just flashback to that time I was kid and remember all the shitty feelings that I ever felt when I was that age. 

I really thought I was over it, but I’m not. I just tried taking some selfies and I wanted to throw myself off a bridge. Like I literally want to throw up right now and I’m pulling at my hair as if it will somehow magically make my bangs grow longer by tomorrow. I’m already pulling out hairs because of this shit. 

I feel tense and vulnerable and as if everyone is staring at me when I know no one gives a single fuck but me. If I could rip the hair off, I would. Hell, I’m already subconsciously pulling out my hair, so it doesn’t mean like it will be long now.

And even I’m like “you’re being stupid,” but I can’t stop it. I know there are also products and stuff to “style it up and feminize it,” but I don’t use products because I know I won’t use them because a) I’m lazy and b) I don’t even know how to style anything properly, let alone my fucking hair. 

I know my face is more feminine, I wear more feminine clothes, I sometimes put on makeup, and hell, I even got fucking titties, so I know people probably see me and think “girl!” 

But it’s the idea that they see my hair and think “boy” and all that bullying and constant “kid, this is the girl’s area” shit from the past just makes me want die from this hair. 

My hair is such a sensitive thing for me, definitely my biggest insecurity and I hate it, someone give me back my hair.