#even now I would
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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if it was about 15 years ago i’d already have seen 12 different AMVs of chimera falin set to three days grace animal i have become on my feed but that just doesn’t happen anymore. because of woke
#i would also accept skillet monster for this.#dungeon meshi#they don’t even call them AMVs anymore. they call them fancams now. because of w#hall of fame
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It's sad at the end of May seeing people reblog the "here it comes!" Pride logos post. You didn't notice that brands have decided it is no longer safe to openly support LGBT rights. The past 2 years have shown a dramatic decline in corporate sponsorship of Pride. And no, we don't care about the corporations, but you should care that they think the general public will oppose their support of LGBT rights. Anyway pay attention. The logos didn't change for Pride. It's bad.
#not even tumblr's#I wrote this quickly and would modify some phrasing but now it has too many notes#you get the idea
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Poppy playtime got a guy worse than William Afton
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#springtrap#william afton#harley sawyer#fnaf 3#poppy playtime#poppy playtime doctor#poppy playtime chapter 4#So I saw the new poppy playtime chapter#and I think the plot and characters finally worked for me#really sparked my interest#I DONT love all the directions that chapter takes#but can we all talk about how cool the doctor is#AND BY that I mean how truly twisted he is#William’s crimes somehow feel small now#in the face of the company that just experiments on just kids#the doctor is awful in every way sick and twisted#and I think that’s epic#just the idea of William hearing the shit playtime co got up to#like I think the scale of it would genuinely shock him#even if he’s interested in that science as well#I may draw a lil more poppy stuff as a treat we’ll see
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Live Mel reaction
#no one in this damn city can last two seconds without her smh#I can’t believe this is my first ever arcane fanart lmao#look the finale airs tomorrow and this joke won’t make sense anymore after that point so it’s gotta be done now#I don’t have TIME a to study the the art style and create a meaningful homage to one of the greatest animiated series ever made#this is what you get instead#it’s funny cause her canon response will be ‘’:( I’m sorry jayce. he was a good friend and a great man’’ at BEST#cause even tho she canonically likes him they’ve had like no direct interactions so nothing more would make sense#but an enby can dream#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#mel medarda#jayce talis#viktor arcane#art#my art#digital art#fanart#doodle#drawing#sketch#shitpost#meljay#jayvik#meljayvik
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.
What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.
What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.
What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.
The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.
And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.
But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.
I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.
#shut up e#long post#Saturday thoughts#this has been in my drafts for a week haha#also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong#forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong#because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation#even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it#unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???
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"What a foolish thought. Yet, when I saw your pathetic smile, I..."
Hello, Cookie Run Fandom (and ShadowVanilla nation)
#cookie run kingdom#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#shadowvanilla#cookie run fanart#fanart#i drew this before episode 8. now that i finished playing it i didnt think it would be so accurate like it is#EVEN THE HAIR! i only drew him like that cuz i saw it in another fanart and i loved it!#it is obvious because the trailer but you never know when it might be used (?)#never drawing pure vanilla cookie again btw#or at least not the awakened form cuz damn too much for my brain#now i'll silently die in procrastination
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if we could stay connected, just like this
#ok last orbit niigo post im emubrained again and also i miss leoneed#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#mizuki5 spoilers#proseka#mizuki akiyama#mizu5#nightcord at 25:00#hurray !#meltdown released an amazing translation of the event so i read it and had my final cathartic transgender cry about it#and now i have ~4 assignments due on friday so i have to stop drawing mizuki. sad.#i recommend everyone watch meltdown's translation#please. its very good and better than the mtls floating around#i Get why people wanted to see it translated asap like i Get it i didnt understand half of the wordplay or kanji but like . wah#its so crazy how this event breached containment n how many people are rooting for mizuki even tho they dont play the game so i just#think its a shame that the translation everyones reading isnt really accurate/lacks the nuances.. Ok sorrynits a good event.#ive just been thinking abiut that for a few days and i love talking in tags. Adios#real Orbit heads will know this is an Heartorbit reference (that tarot card sketch i did almost 2 years ago and said i would finish)#(i havent finished shit)
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Holiday Classics
Been thinking about Ford watching the 70s Animated Lord of the Rings Movies... (companion comic to this post!)
#the other two VHS tapes Fidd's is holding are Rankin-Bass' The Hobbit (1977) and Return of the King (1980)! The 70s animated pseudo-trilogy!#A lot of people pointed out on my other lotr 'crossover' post that Ford would have seen the 70s movies!#And i wont lie i entirely forgot they existed. But now i remember i have so many feelings on it okay. Ford my silly LOTR nerd#I dont think he would have seen Bashkis in theaters. far as I can tell it was a VERY limited (likely mostly CA) run in the middle of winter#but Rankin-Bass'? Aired on NBC & ABC. He absolutely woulda watched them or rented a VHS later. Which is why he's most excited by Bashki's#He's just such a nerd. I need him to nerd out. But also lowkey angst on how his single focus on bill/the portal lead#him to neglecting even the small things in life. Like knowing a VHS release of an adaptation of his favourite book series had come out#GF fanart#Gravity Falls#gravity falls comic#Fan art#fanart#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#young fiddleford mcgucket#*holds two random VHS tapes in one hand to check Fidd's pose in the 2nd panel makes sense* Well thats mathamatically feasible!#young stanford pines#stanford pines#ford pines#Book of Bill#comic#artists on tumblr#my art#Grunkle ford#fiddauthor#cause Fidds is not talking about the movie there. Well okay he's talking about the portal but He COULD BE TALKING ABOUT- *I am dragged off*
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#vampire hunter d#vhd#art#illustration#I think I like best how it's a recall of klimt's figures but in contrast D is alone - an emphasis of his solitude#The gold surrounding him a symbol of his status and how above it all he his - looking past us to something we can't even imagine#Don't forget to check out the VHD Zine ! P-O opened yesterday ( can't believe Saiko of all people is in it omg )#also yeah ~ I'll be making prints of it~#I have to get things into order but do keep an eye out if you're interested!#I think it'd be cool to look into gold foil too ooh ꒰´͈ 0 ॣ`͈⌗꒱💖#Hmm ~ but yes the motif I had going into this drawing was the “horseman of death”#makes me think about the brothers and which ones they would symbolize of the the remaining horsemen....#anyways have a wonderful day ! (❀ •̀ᴗ•́ )っ♡#and now onto the next D drawing🌚
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Yeah, Kris is definitely NOT alright.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#kris dreemurr#frisk#and we arrived at the breaking point#i know the last pages have been very depresso but i swear once this arc is over we'll get right back on track with the funnies#but first we have to deal with some DRAMA#imagine what it would be like if some otherworldly entity took over your body#and suddenly you start making friends and patching up old friendships#Something even your mother is proud of you for#even though it's not YOU doing that#you'd feel like people don't like YOU but only that parasite in your body#because without it you're just that creepy kid next door#you'd feel like the world would be better without you#at least that's what Kris must be feeling right now#i DO wonder what's up with this cave though#it clearly is NOT the exit#and what's with those markings outside and inside the cave?#hmmmmm
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This goes out to poppy playtime pianosaurus enjoyers
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf vanny#sammy lawrence#pianosaurus#poppy playtime chapter 4#poppy playtime#bendy and the ink machine#this goes out to yall Pianosaurus fans#I’ve been where you are at now with Vanny lmao#specifically Vanny too like we get quite a bit of Vanessa#but not enough of the Vanny suit itself 😭#Sammy fans I don’t know what to even say to yall#done dirty and that was awhile ago now BAHA#some crumbs to the bendy fans 🩵#I will say though pianosaurus fans currently got it the worst#seeing his scene is literally only 30 seconds long#it’s okay he gets to join the club of#characters we thought would have more important roles than they ended up having
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the sudden thought of bakugou katsuki sending an audio to his s/o while at the gym, where he speaks IN BETWEEN GASPS AND GRUNTS AND EVEN GROWLS BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT HE'S LIFTING WHILE ALSO TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR DINNER AND SUGGESTING MEALS OR PLEACES TO GO IF YOU WANT AND THEN HE SAYS, "Ugh... whatever you... mmh... want, baby, it's yours..." AND HE EXHALES FUCKING SEXILY AS THE SOUND OF THE WEIGHT DROPPING IS HEARD.
— I'M DYING HELP.
#DON'T @ ME#I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM#I EVEN HATE WHEN MEN DO ALL THOSE SOUNDS AT THE GYM#BUT THEN...#BAKUGOU KATSUKI#AND THE THOUGHT WAS: FUCK YEAH HE WOULD DEF SOUND SO FREAKING SEXYYYYYY#okay ill stop now goodnight#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#mha bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#mha smut#bnha smut#mha imagines#mha headcanons#mha scenarios#bnha scenarios#bnha imagines#mha bakugo katsuki
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i keep seeing people say the doctor shouldn’t have feelings for rogue because he’s married to river…? river song… who has also married multiple people… one of the most polyamorous characters in the show…?
#i think the only issue river would have is that she wasn’t there to witness it#ngl#plus when has the doctor ever been strictly monogamous???#even when he was infatuated with rose he still had feelings for other people too#madame de pompadour anyone ??? hello?? 😭#and river’s been gone for multiple regens now… is the doctor meant to never have a relationship ever again or what#gonna be real i think if rogue was a woman i’d be seeing less Ummm He Has A Wife The Doctor Wouldn’t Cheat Like This takes#i really don’t think the doctor & river were ever strictly only with each other bro like they’ve always had a more open relationship anyway#🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️#doctor who#15th doctor#rogue doctor who#river song#timerogue#dndoctor#yowzah#twiver#ehhh yeah.#y’know ????#also as people have mentioned she’s dead#i didn’t make that part of my post bc timey wimey whatever people still want her to return somehow#so if she *was* alive and the doctor wasn’t literally a widow… she’d have no problem with rogue 😭😭#keepin this post ambiguous for u river return truthers
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#shiguang dailiren#時光代理人#link click#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#aashi doodles#im suffering rn and want to suffer with others so here's my contribution#lu guang stayed pretty composed on the plane but would that always the case after he wakes up from his cxs is dead nightmares...#lu guang...😔#this was inspired by that one comment in an jnterview where someone asked why lg's bed rails were so high#and i think it was producer who said it was to keep a certain someone from sneaking into his bed but i was like get real#nothing can stop cxs when he wants to do something. and if he wanted to be up there he would go no matter what#anyways lets imagine this as a scene from s1. back when we all had theories that one or both of the boys were trapped in a time loop#we have this scene where lg is having a panic attack and not even cxs is sure why exactly this is happening but plot moves on we h#yeah plot moves on and we shelve this for later and bam. s3 yep lg stuck in a time loop with cxs always dying trauma is confirmed#anyways thats enough from me for now. ima go throw up byeeee
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