#even in 2020 when he just looked like the most embarrassing idiot alive he put on an apron and took up fucking WOODWORKING

[berestweys]

fine. FINE >:(

@nothingatallnice @queenofattolia​

nothing will ever top healthy, well-fed, and glowing. this was the worst two years of his life and probably mine too and yet. never more handsome.

[thestormfall]

Just Let Go

"What are Partners for?" Shiki is going through a rough break-up and gets a surprise visit from her Partner. For Neshiki Day 2020  Also on Ao3 & FFN

It was eight in the evening and Shiki had just finished two seasons of one of those mindless reality shows when Neku had almost knocked her door off its hinges trying to get in. She was not at all expecting him today and was certainly not in a presentable enough state to receive guests. Her studio flat was an absolute mess. At least five cups of finished instant-noodles were stacked up beside the sink, university notes and loose designs were scattered across the floors and the messy sofa just in front of her TV did nothing to hide the fact that it had been more used than her bed for the past seven days.

Her residence's appearance aside, she herself was not appropriately dressed to have anyone visiting. She was wearing a white tank top, with mint-green shorts - that part was fine – but her dressing gown was a sky blue and her house-slippers were a dark red and her outfit did not match colours in the slightest. To make things worse, she had terrible bedhead and her hair was sticking up in all sorts of funny angles. Talk about embarrassing.

Given that it was Neku, however, he probably didn't even realise how much of a walking insult to fashion she was at the moment. He seemed more pre-occupied with the aforementioned state of her studio. "You haven't been eating well."

It wasn't a question, those cup-noodles spoke for themselves. Neku had his hands in his pockets and one wouldn't have thought that he had been using those to pound on the doors earlier. His usual demeanour had mostly returned once Shiki had opened the door, but the way his eyebrows were knitted together told her that he was still concerned.

Collapsing back on the refuge that was her sofa, she patted the spot next to her. "So, I'm guessing you're here 'cause Eri's filled you in."

"She texted me saying that you hadn't left your place for a even this sofa." Neku joined her on the said sofa, though instead of sinking into it like Shiki had, his posture remained straight. Sat like that, when he looked down at her, eyes piercing, Shiki felt a bit rattled. "Eri failed to mention why though."

She knew Neku well enough that she could tell that he was more put off from the fact that he found out about her hermit-like situation from a source other than Shiki herself, rather than Eri not telling him the reason. It wasn't because she wanted to hide anything, it was just one of those things that she would go to Eri first about. "It's nothing too bad…I mean, it's bad but not the end of the world or anything, I just…" It was also one of those things that she wasn't quite ready to say out loud without wanting to throw a pillow across the room.

Letting out a deep sigh, Shiki sank a bit further into the sofa and started leaning against Neku. One of the great things about him was that he would never push her to talk, even though she herself would have pestered him endlessly if the situation was reversed. She was sure that he would have probably let her stay like that for the whole time he was here; he might have even left without her telling him what was wrong if she didn't want to talk. Eri was right in sending, Neku though, because having her with him now, headphones hanging around his neck, Shiki found that she did want to speak about it after all.

"I just broke up with my boyfriend." That wasn't completely accurate. "Okay, well more like, he dumped me."

"Shiki…"

"I mean, it's fine. I'm fine. We weren't dating for that long anyway. It was just a year and a half." It was the longest relationship she had so far. "It wasn't like I was that invested in him, haha." She had bought him a birthday present for next month and that was going to have to be scrapped. "And I mean, at least we didn't break up because he cheated on me or anything." Damn, had her voice always been this high-pitched?

She knew that she was forcing a smile but having Neku look at her with such a solemn expression was making this all too difficult. "Shiki?"

Simply saying her name wasn't a question but - screw this 'Partners' thing - she could tell that he knew that there was more. "He told me that he was starting to have feelings for Eri."

Neku was gone from her side in an instant, and she wanted to demand to know the reason why he had to get up at that particular moment, but he was back almost five seconds later with a tissue box in his hand. It was only when he handed one to her that she occurred to her that she was crying. That's when it turned from quiet tears to a full-blown wail. She never thought of herself as a noisy crier before this break-up but there she was, sobbing until she ended up in a fit of coughs. Neku had handed her about half a box worth of tissues and was rubbing her back wordlessly.

"It's just shit because," she clears her throat, sore from the crying she had done not only just now but sporadically over the past week, "he said he didn't want to hurt me by being with me while he had feelings for someone else because he cared too much about me. Yeah, right. If he ended up liking someone else then he can't have cared that much about me." Shiki blew her nose. "And it had to be Eri of all people. I'm sure he knows I'm pissed because that's my best friend but he doesn't how much that's hurt me because he doesn't, you know, know." She didn't need to explain to her Partner why that was such a blow to her. "It's bad enough when it's some randomer trying to make friends with me to get to Eri, but I'm used to that and I don't put up with it. I haven't told her yet because I know she's just going to feel bad and I don't want that. Besides, he told me that he's not even going to try to ask her out because he doesn't want to make things weird between us. I don't know if that's supposed to be a comfort or not."

Fuck it, she was going to throw stuff after all. A pillow went flying across the room and landed on the floor with a satisfactory thump. Despite that, Neku kept his eyes on her and her voice grew smaller. "It's just worse because he met me first. He didn't even meet Eri until after he asked me out for a date. He stayed with me for a year and a half, Neku. I even…I introduced him to you guys because he wanted to get along with my friends."

Shiki hadn't just introduced him, she had invited him to a few of her get-togethers with her friends from the Game. The only other person that ever joined in with their group in the past six years was Eri. Yet she had allowed him into their world, into the moments that she cherished the most.

"It might have been easier if you guys had hated him, but you all liked him too so I kept bringing him along and now I just feel like a complete idiot for doing that." She felt like she would have thrown another pillow again if Neku hadn't spoken the next moment.

"You're not an idiot, Shiki," Neku said, almost stern. "I get that you're upset. I probably don't understand all of what you're feeling but I know that you shouldn't beat yourself up over trying to connect with someone you care about." She felt Neku squeeze her shoulder. "Someone once told me to let her in, and I don't think I'd even be alive right now if she hadn't done that."

"That someone sounds pretty smart."

"Well, I did say she's not an idiot but I wouldn't say she's smart."

She nudged Neku with her shoulder. "Hey!"

"Oh, I think that's the first real smile I've seen from her today."

She was indeed smiling, and it was like amidst her murky feelings, that was now just a little warmth now. It wasn't just that, she felt like warmth was spreading from the places Neku had touched – or perhaps simply the closeness of Neku's own body heat - encompassing her in comfortable drowsiness. Her eyes felt tired too, having used up too many tears.

"Thanks for listening, Neku," she said, her sentence ending in a yawn.

She felt rather than saw him nod. "What are Partners for?"

xxx

…This doesn't feel like my bed.

Shiki awoke, feeling slightly disoriented. Opening her eyes she found herself face to face with Neku and had to stop herself from saying his name in surprise. Remembering that he had come over earlier, she tried to look over his shoulder at the digital clock on the wall behind him. 22: 30 – so it had been four hours and a half since he had arrived. It was a Friday today and Shiki recalled that Neku usually had classes in the afternoons and had maybe come straight here after a tiring day. That was sweet of him.

"Hm?" She looked down and realised that she was clutching Mr. Mew with her right arm, which was beneath her. She swore that she had left Mr. Mew on her bed…She wondered why Neku hadn't carried her to her bed this time, he'd done so beforehand so she knew she wasn't too heavy to be moved. He had even removed her glasses for her so it was strange. It then came to her attention that her other hand was wrapped around Neku's wrist and she let go. She vaguely recalled reaching out to her ex in a dream she must have just had; she must have grabbed Neku's wrist unconsciously. Honestly…Neku wouldn't have wanted to wake her up but she wouldn't have minded. It was still not too late for Neku to make in on the train back home.

Not wanting to give him a sudden start, she called out to him in a whisper. "Neku." There was no response. She tried verbally a few times more but to no avail.

"Geez, you're such a heavy sleeper." She gently shook his shoulder. "Neku, wake up – oh!"

Neku had reached up and grabbed her hand, pulling it down, away from his shoulder, making a muffled sound as he did. His grip was tight and she couldn't quite shake him off. This must have been how it was for Neku earlier too, Shiki thought.

"Neku!" She said a little louder, now that he had shown some movement.

His eyes finally opened. "Shiki." He let go of her hand.

"Yes, it's me. You fell asleep but if you leave soon you can still catch the train –"

Her words left her when he used his hand to move her hair out of her face, letting his hand rest against her cheek.

"Shiki," he said again, only this time he smiled and even though she had seen him smile countless times before, something about this one was softer than usual.

His hand moved from her cheek to the back of her head and she felt herself being slowly pulled forward and her heart rate shot up exceedingly fast and she wasn't sure how to react and was Neku about to -

Oomph! He had pulled her head against his chest and her face was squished up and she couldn't quite breathe. After a bit of a struggle, she managed to reposition her head so that she could breathe, but Neku's hand was still cradling her head.

"Get 'em, Piggy…" he mumbled.

"Thanks for that," she said, even though she figured that he wasn't actually awake and couldn't appreciate her dry comment.

She decided against another attempt to wake him up; it seemed like a lost cause.

Besides, she had to admit, she also didn't mind this arrangement.

xxx

Neither one of them commented on their sleeping positions last night, but with the way Neku dodged Shiki's eyes a few times, it was safe to say that he was embarrassed over it. He didn't need to be embarrassed though, Shiki thought, they were comfortable enough to share that kind of space with each other by now. If anything she should be the one embarrassed for clinging onto him in the first place.

That and all the crying she did. It was not one of her best moments.

He had woken up before her and it seemed that he managed to move her around gently enough to not only allow her to carry on sleeping but also to clear some of the mess surrounding them. She could actually see the floor again now. Shiki really had let this get to her - she was usually the tidy one out of the two of them.

Neku set down a mug of tea for her and a coffee for himself. As she rearranged herself to let him sit down again he asked if she was feeling any better.

"Yeah, loads actually." The heavy feeling in her chest hadn't completely dissipated but there was a lot less of it than before last night. "Thanks again, Neku. I think I just needed to let that all out because I couldn't tell Eri the whole picturei. It's not at all her fault but I know that she would feel bad about it if I did."

"You know. Back during the game I called you a sap for this kind of thing," Neku said, candidly, "but now I think that it's one of the best things about you."

Back then, Neku wouldn't have paid her this kind of compliment outright, let alone mean it.

Shiki took a sip of her tea, mulling over what he said. "Is it? I think I might also just be...I don't know...avoiding having to tell her about it. Maybe I'm just scared to. I keep saying I don't want her to feel bad but maybe I just don't want to hear her apologise to me over it."

"Well…" Neku took a pause too. "Whatever it is, you don't have to rush in to tell her. If you need more time to be ready to, then it can't be helped."

And that was one of the best thing about Neku. He didn't try and sugarcoat it and argue that that wasn't the reason. He knew how she was.

Unprompted, a thought of how her ex would have done the opposite bubbled up and she shooed it away quickly.

"Hey, I know we're broken up but...you and Beat made friends with him, right?"

Neku raised an eyebrow at her. "Well. For you."

"No, but you two did genuinely like him. So if you guys still wanted to be friends I understand - "

"Don't know about Beat but I was only on good terms with him for you," he cut in.

Shiki frowned at him; he looked like he was serious.

"Didn't you say you liked him, when I asked if you did?"

"Yeah, and I said yes because I liked him for making you happy," Neku said. "Since he clearly isn't making you happy anymore - I don't like him. We're not friends, so don't worry."

Oh…

"I don't even have to ask, but you're worrying about me having one less friend, aren't you?" He flicked her forehead. "I do have some friends from my classes, just so you know."

He really did know what she was thinking.

"Please, Shiki. I know you're good at fretting about other people but take care of yourself too, alright?" He stood back up and went to put his mug in the sink. "I can't be cleaning up your flat all the time, you know."

"Hey, you started doing that yourself!"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Someone had to." He picked up his bag from the counter.

"Wait, are you leaving?" she asked.

"Yeah, I haven't had a shower since last night so I'd prefer to do that soon."

That made sense. What didn't make sense was that she wanted to ask him to stay longer. She already unintentionally prevented him from leaving last night after she was clinging to him. There was no reason for him to stay any longer.

She wondered if she still didn't want to be alone or if she just wanted to be around Neku longer.

Getting up, she walked to the door and opened it for him. She wasn't going to be a rude host and not at least see him out (and she was not, she was not going to ask him to stay longer).

Neku was bent down, tying his shoes up. His hoodie was slightly crumpled and she could see that he now had quite a case of bedhead too. She ran her fingers through his hair, trying to fix it. He straightened up quickly after his shoes were tied. He didn't quite swat her hands away but he did roll his eyes. "You can't help yourself from trying to 'fix' my getups, huh?"

"Of course, not." She winked at him, "It's like you said, 'someone has to'."

"Ha, ha," he said, smiling despite his dry tone.

She was smiling back. One because she always felt like returning one of Neku's smiles and two because smiling meant that she couldn't open her mouth and tell him to stay.

Neku adjusted his bag and said a casual 'see you soon' to which she returned with a quiet 'bye'.

He was halfway out the door, before he stopped. Neku turned around completely and peered at her face.

"Shiki - did you not want me to leave?"

"What? No!"

The words were louder than intended. She could feel the heat rush to her face immediately. She could not believe that he realised that. He was reading her way too well today. She knew she wasn't fooling anyone by denying it so vehemently. Gods, she was even waving her hands in front of her - she swore she had kicked that habit.

"I mean okay, yes but not because I'm lonely or anything. I swear, I feel a lot better Neku. I don't want to impose on you." He was not looking convinced. "No seriously. I'm fine. You already cheered me up loads."

"You sure you're not just saying that?"

He had cheered her up by a lot.

"Yes, honest, I'm feeling a lot better. I was just feeling a bit nostalgic. You know? 'Cause we used to hang out a lot more before - well, him - and it's been a while." The realisation only came to her when she was speaking the words. So, that's why, huh? "I mean, I still hang out with you guys the most but it's been a while since it's been just the two of us, I mean. It was nice."

Neku was still studying her face and she resisted the urge to hide it. It was true! It's not that her ex-boyfriend said they couldn't hang out but...she did get the feeling that he wasn't too pleased with it. She and Neku hadn't ever talked about it but they did gradually reduce the time they spent alone together. She didn't think too deeply about it before but she supposed that it felt a bit weird to do so whilst she had a boyfriend. Which made no sense, because she and Neku were friends so the two things had nothing to do with each other.

"It was nice," he agreed, after a while. "We can hang out whenever you want. But I do need to go home first."

"Yeah, of course, of course," she said hurriedly.

"My mission this visit was to try and get you off the sofa but I think we do need to get you out of the house, though," he teased. "I'll even let you pick out new clothes for me."

"Yes!" Now, that was something to look forward to. "We haven't done that in ages! Listen, I was in Molco the other day with Eri and saw an outfit that I thought would be perfect for you! So - oh no, I'm about to ramble about it. Okay, okay I get it, I actually have to let you leave Neku but we totally have to go out shopping later. Or tomorrow!" She giggled, already excited about shopping with Neku again. "This is going to be so fun, I totally missed doing that with you!"

"Yeah…" Neku's eyes flickered from her to the floor, then back up. "I missed you, too."

The moment the words were out of his mouth he abruptly turned back around and swiftly walked away. Shiki could only stare at his back as he entered the elevator at the end of the corridor, as the words slowly spun in her head.

...He missed me?

Shiki shut the door.

He 'missed' me?

She plopped back down on her sofa once more.

It wasn't like they never saw each other when she was with her boyfriend. They all hung out together as a group all the time.

But he said he missed me.

And suddenly the moments last night rushed back to her; the soft smile he gave her, the feeling of his hand on her cheek.

Neku...missed me.

They were very much alone last night, weren't they?

But that would mean…

Well, what did it mean?

She wasn't entirely sure yet but what it did mean was that if she wanted to get any sleep tonight, it was definitely going to be from the comfort of her own bed rather than the sofa they had shared last night.

Shiki stood up, not even able to sit still here without starting to blush again. She ran to her room, plopping herself face down onto her bed.

Neku did say his mission was to get her to leave her sofa.

Mission accomplished, huh, Partner?

Tadaa! I had the first two parts of this written maybe a year or two ago and for some reason never finished it off. But with it being Neshiki day I thought would be perfect to do and it became about twice as long, haha! Anyway, I kind of like the idea of Shiki dating someone before Neku. Or maybe I heard it said that most first relationships don't work out so I'm like 'welp then Neshiki you can't date each other first, soz'. Hahaha...but yes! 2020 is the first official Neshiki day! Anyway, while this wasn't inspired by the song while I was thinking of a title I thought of the song 'Just Let Go' by the Mae...and I think it fits the mood so here we are.

This is dedicated to Alto and Mandi who co-created this day with me :) And to Shanna of course! Hope you all enjoy this :D

- Dina (24/08/2020)

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @substanceofmysoul!

It had been a long time since he was last in Beacon Hills, too long, not long enough. If you were to ask Stiles Stilinski how long he’s been gone he'd probably say something along the lines of 3 years and 167 days, but who was counting? Why not go back before you would say? If you miss something so much you’re counting the time then just go back, well it’s a little more complicated than that. This can be a little confusing so let’s go back to 3 years and 168 days ago, the day everything went to shit. It was Stiles high school graduation as well as his 18th birthday, and finally, after 3 years of constant battles with the supernatural and late night essay writing, and FINALLY Stiles could blow this popsicle stand. There's’ really nothing keeping him here. Hi dad has finally conceded to taking care of himself if it meant Stiles would leave this Hell mouth of a town. Most of his friends are leaving, and those who aren’t he isn’t really worried about. It’s not like there are any handsome, brooding, sad werewolves that need him to stay at all. That means Stiles has no reason to stay, he can leave without a care in the world.

No.

Stiles wishes he wasn’t so stubborn that he couldn’t talk himself out of doing something so stupid, because maybe then he could talk himself out of breaking his own heart. Unfortunately he isn’t that strong which brings us back to June 23rd 2016, standing in front of the beaten down crummy loft that Derek Hale calls a house. Knocking on a door he probably shouldn’t be knocking on, but for some bizarre reason he can’t seem to talk himself down and before he knows it the door is open. Before even stepping into the loft the words come spilling out of his mouth like an uncontrollable river of marbles spilling down the world’s tallest mountain…

“Hey I’ve kind of been obsessed with you since I first saw you in the woods and I need you to tell me if there is any hope because if there is I will stay right here and we will figure this out together, I just really need to know because I can feel that something is here and I kinda think you might be my soulmate but you haven’t said anything because of my age and I totally get it dude cause my dad’s the Sheriff but I’m eighteen today but I don’t want to push you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing but if you could stop me from talking that would be great because I sort of lost control of my own brain after admitting that I’m so crazy in lov-”

“STILES!”

“What?”

“Shut up and let me talk.”

Stiles nods in acknowledgement, makes a zipper motion over his lips and waits with bated breath and hope for once since here, waiting for the answer he wants and so desperately needs.

“You’re not my soulmate.”

“I knew...Wait, what?”

Derek didn’t meet Stiles gaze as he said the words that shred his heart to pieces “If you were my soulmate your name would have appeared on my arm the day I met you 3 years ago seeing as I was already 21. Besides do you really think I’d want you to stick around? You’re such a spastic brat I’d end up cutting off my own arm just to cut off the bond.”

    Stiles could feel his eyes fill with tears but he cleared his throat and decided to get the hell out of dodge before he embarrasses himself even more. Before he turns, realizing he never actually went in, he says

“You could’ve just said no” and turned and walked away without even looking at Derek.

Two days later his bags were packed in the back of his jeep and he was driving out of Beacon hills for what he thought then would be forever.

He’d been travelling all across North America and ended up in Salem of all places only 170 days into his travels when his magic first manifested. At first he thought ok, so I’m a witch, that explains why I’m being stalked by the Supernatural across the country.

Sadly being a witch would’ve been a good thing in comparison to what he actually was.

He found out he was a Spark, he is quite literally a walking talking endless supply of untapped magic, and that isn’t even the tip of the iceberg to what he can do. Somewhere around Vancouver he learns that he is the source of magic in Beacon Hills, He puts the Beacon in Beacon hills. His magic attracts all sorts of creatures some looking for protection others looking for a power bar, causing him to have quite an interesting trip around the world.

That’s not the story for today though kiddos, that one is for another day.

Today is June 25th 2020 and he is standing breathless and the beginning of the preserve heaving like a mad man, bags in his car, and fury in his eyes. He is standing there with the name DEREK HALE printed on his left wrist in big, bold, black letters. He was going to maim the stupid asshole, and after he maims him he's going to kill him. Derek Hale has some explaining to do. Which is why Stiles dragged his ass from Poland on an overnight flight and is stomping through the forest like a demon of hell himself only stopping shortly when he sees the fully remodeled Hale house, but quickly resumes on his path screaming out as he walked.

“DEREK HALE GET YOUR FURRY LITTLE WEREWOLF ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!”

He could hear a lot of scrambling coming from inside the house when out came the man of the hour himself looking as sheepish as a misbehaved dog and scrambling like he had been thrown out of the house.

He looked up at Stiles through his lashes and said “Happy Birthday?”

“ Are you fucking kidding me Derek?” Thunder roared up above them and clouds rolled in.

“We should go inside Stiles, it looks like it’s going to rain”

“No, you and me we are going to talk right now, explain. Explain why you were so quick to break my heart.”

“Because I wasn’t...”

“Wasn’t what? Brave enough to love me? Man enough to wait for me? Because of what Derek?”

“BECAUSE I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME DEREK?! YOU BROKE MY HEART BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOOD ENOUGH?!”

“I wasn’t, you were so good and had so much hope and so much going for your future that I thought that if I let you stay I would ruin you.”

At that confession the ground shook beneath them, and Derek looked so confused but at the same time looked ready to throw Stiles over his shoulder and race to safety and that lost look in his eyes is what made Stiles calm down and the ground stopped shaking.

“Continue” said Stiles, looking into Derek's eyes.

“When I found out you were my soulmate I was a little peeved and confused because I didn't really know you, but then I got to know you and you were the bravest, most selfless, compassionate young man I’ve ever met in my life, and suddenly I knew I couldn't keep you.”

“Keep me? I'm not a pet Derek”

“I know, I know, that’s not what I mean. I meant I couldn’t keep you for seeing the world, from exploring and getting out of here, so I kept quiet and let you think that I don’t love you when the reality is that I adore you more I should. Then you were 18 and so beautiful and willing to love me and all I wanted to do was say stay, stay now, stay forever, but I knew I couldn’t love you the way you deserved to be loved.”

“Who are you to decide that?”

“You deserve light Stiles, light, and love, and joy. I was half a man who couldn’t figure out a reason to stay alive and you didn't deserve that, didn’t deserve to put me together only to watch me fall apart. So when you came to me that day I decided to let you go, only for a little while so that I could work on becoming a person worthy of your love. I knew that my name would appear on your arm on your 21st, and I had to let you go with the hope that you would return.”

“And what if I didn’t, what if I decided that I couldn’t handle a second rejection and never returned?”

“Then I would have gone after you for as long as it took to find you, because now that I know that I deserve love, I will never, ever let you walk out of my life. So if you’re ready to have me and if you would still even want me I am here, a partially whole man missing just one piece to make him complete.”

“You’re an idiot.”

With those words there was a standoff that felt like a million years but in reality only lasted seconds, followed be an embrace and a kiss that would have put movies to shame.

The breeze was gentle, and the clouds rolled away and all that was left was hope for the future.

The end

[cksmart-world]

The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

March 24, 2020

UK TO GIVE WORKERS 80% OF INCOME

& FOX EXECS TO STAFF: IT’S REAL YOU IDIOTS

Congress is working out details of a proposal to put cash in the hands of Americans, which will help hundreds of thousands of service workers who find themselves furloughed as a result of the pandemic. It could be $1,200 to $2,000 for each taxpayer. That's better than a  jab with a sharp stick, but really, how far can 1200 bucks take anyone these days. Meanwhile, Republicans are angling to give the lions share of the   $2 trillion stimulus to corporations. Sound familiar. According to Goldman Sachs, the fallout from the pandemic could prove to be the biggest economic hit on record — forecasting a staggering 24 percent quarterly drop in GDP, more than double the biggest plunge ever recorded. But listen to this: In contrast, the United Kingdom will subsidize to 80 percent the wages up to $2,900 per month of any worker facing unemployment because of the coronavirus pandemic. U.S. leaders just can't find it within themselves to make such investment in average Americans, largely out of the conservative philosophy that government shouldn't be doing that sort of thing — except for the big boys. The U.S. is the only industrialized country without guaranteed comprehensive healthcare and sick leave for every worker — that, say the bigwigs, would be socialism.

SURVIVAL KIT FOR THE BIG ONE

When the brown stuff hits the blades many people rush around like chickens because they have not prepared their survival kits — those necessities that will keep them alive until the coast clears or help arrives. So, the staff  here at Smart Bomb, as a community service, has put together a list that will guide you as you prepare for armageddon:

1- 100 rolls of toilet paper.

2- 48 cans of beans

3- 60 cans of tuna

4- 200 bottles of spring water

5- 100 packages of ramen noodles

6- 10 pounds of coffee

7- 30 cases of beer

8- 30 fifths of vodka

9- 30 grams of California bud

10- 30 boxes of Xanax

You may want to personalize this list to fit your particular needs, but Wilson and the band warn not to scrimp on items 7-10. As Wilson says, “When the going gets tough, the tough get drinking.”

FOX EXECS TO STAFF: IT'S REAL YOU IDIOTS

Well, this is embarrassing: Executives at Fox News For Real Americans had to put out a memo to their staff asserting that the coronavirus is real. It appears to be a first: The Fox brass didn't seem to care when its pundits, Lou Dobbs, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingram,  Jeanine Pirro, Tucker Carlson and the gang led their viewers astray on everything from Russian involvement in our elections to children in cages on the southern border. The Fox gasbags have contended the coronavirus is a hoax perpetrated by Democrats to impeach Trump. But in a memo obtained by The Daily Beast, Fox CEO Suzanne Scott and president Jay Wallace warned employees about the real risks of COVID-19... and emphasized Fox’s duty to keep viewers informed with accurate information on the deadly virus. Wait a second, did they say it was the duty of Fox to give viewers accurate information? Well, shucks, since folks are in quarantine and dying, you'd think that was a no-brainer. But remember Fox's slogan: You CAN fool some of the people most of the time. Suddenly, Hannity, et al, are saying the virus is very serious and the Democrats should stop minimizing it. And then, there was this: Lou Dobbs asked his audience to rate Trump's leadership on his handling of the virus as A- VERY GOOD, B- GREAT, or C- SUPERB. Kim Jung Un would love it.

DON'T WORRY AMERICA

Here are some words from our president to calm folks worried about the pandemic:

1- There are only 15 cases and they soon will be gone.

2- Warm weather will come and it will magically disappear.

3- It's a very dangerous virus but we have it totally under control.

4- Anybody that needs a test can get a test.

5- The doctors are all surprised that I know more about this than they do.

6- We're very much ahead of everything

7- We have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work...

8- Now they have it, they have studied it, they know very much, in fact, we’re very close to a vaccine.

9- The U.S. is the most prepared country in the world.

10- It's China's fault. It's those goddamn Chinese and Obama. It's not my fault. I take absolutely no responsibility.

Post script — If you have a garden, you're in luck. You can plant, trim, weed and dig to heart's content and not worry about becoming infected and dying — or passing the coronavirus on to friends and loved ones, so they won't die. This also is a great time for activities, like solo mountain climbing, spelunking, rowing across the Atlantic, searching for the source of Amazon River or signing up for one of those six-month gigs under the ice in Antarctica. You can hole yourself up and write the great American novel or find out how Emily Dickinson lived by staying in your bedroom and writing poems that no one will ever read. For fun, you can pull the blinds down and pretend your in the federal Super Max Prison in Florence, Colo. — the Alcatraz of the Rockies — with Oklahoma City bomber Terry Nichols, drug kingpin El Chapo, terrorist Ramzi Yousef, Unabomber Ted Kaczynski and Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and other notorious criminals who are in solitary lockdown 23 hours a day. And no ordering out for pizza. See, when you look at it that way, self-quarantine isn't all that bad. And look, you can still ride a bike, roller skate or go to the park and feed the ducks. Can ducks get coronavirus? You can take your camera downtown and photograph the empty streets for a slide show next year when you can show off you pictures and say, “Look everybody, empty streets. Remember that?”

Well Wilson, why don't you and the guys take us out with a Kenny Rogers song, in tribute to your old pal who died last week — but not of coronavirus. Maybe he did know when to fold 'em.

I woke up this mornin' with the sundown shinin' in I found my mind in a brown paper bag within I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high I tore my mind on a jagged sky I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in...

[megacircuit9universe]

Resurrection Stone

WED MAR 04 2020

But that plan only works if the other guy drops out and pledges his delegates to me… well before the convention.  If both of them… with only half the popular vote that Bernie has… are there contesting the nomination… neither of them has any rational argument for getting it.

Therefore, Bernie wins.

To avoid that, by coalescing around one centrist candidate… there is a timer already ticking.  Super Tuesday is already happening, it’s too late to hold Bernie back there!… how bout by the next Super Tuesday on March 10th?

Too soon to give up the dream and back a rival centrist?  

-SAT FEB 29

From my lips to God’s ears, apparently.  

The above quote is from my last entry, the night Biden won South Carolina by a huge margin... first state he’s ever won in his life, despite running in multiple Presidential primaries... and despite doing terrible in the first three states here in 2020.

My theory was, that even if the lesser centrists, like Buttigieg, and Klobuchar dropped out after Super Tuesday, Bloomberg would remain to split the centrist vote with Biden all the way to the convention.

Sanders was looking to win big just three days later... on Super Tuesday, possibly sweeping ten or more of the fourteen states.

Now... I’ve talked about quantum leaps before in politics... where something extremely unlikely to happen, nonetheless happens and changes everything overnight.  And we had one on Super Monday.

Biden did get a nice media bump on Super Sunday, after winning SC on Saturday, and then the seemingly impossible happened on Monday, where both Buttigieg and Klobuchar dropped out, and endorsed Biden.

Seemingly impossible, because it was just one day before the big game, and they both have such huge egos (as do all politicians).  But not only did they drop out and endorse Biden... so did Beto O’rourke!

I feel like such an idiot now for thinking about him as a great running mate for Bernie Sanders... I had no idea he was such a huge tool!  He dropped out of this primary forever ago now, and nobody was even thinking about him, but he still came out to endorse Biden on the same day as Pete and Klobi.

Then, on Tuesday itself, the unthinkable happened and Biden... kicked total ass and won ten of the fourteen states!  

Of the two big prize states, California and Texas, Biden won Texas... though it was a close call there.  Bernie did get a comfortable lead in California... but Biden cleaned his clock in other states he was supposed to win handily.

It can’t be overstated, what a blindsiding upset this was to everybody.  Even by the mainstream media, Joe Biden’s candidacy was thought to be dead.  He’d done terribly.  He was out of money.  And he’d never campaigned at all in any of these Super Tuesday states beforehand.

Meanwhile, Bloomberg, who had spent half a billion (with a, B) dollars on these fourteen Super Tuesday states... did miserably in all of them, winning nothing but American Samoa.

Bloomberg did so badly, that he dropped out today (Super Wednesday) and gave his endorsement to Biden.

Tom Steyer, another billionaire who’d been in the race also dropped out today, but... nobody was ever worried about him.

Elizabeth Warren, who did so badly that she came in third in her home state, after Biden and Sanders, has, for the moment, elected to stay in the race, despite having almost no delegates and having won nothing.

So, what happened here?

Well... word on the street is that Obama himself made a few phone calls in the hours after Joe’s big win in SC... to Pete and Klobi, and convinced them to drop out immediately, for JB’s sake... and then called Beto, just for good measure.

While the iron was still hot from Joe’s SC win, this very unexpected news kept it red hot long enough to turn out dazzled Biden fans in droves on election day.

And it seems to have flipped a lot of Bloomberg voters who were only backing him because they’d accepted that Biden... their true fave... had no chance.

Meanwhile Bernie voters... especially the young ones, had grown a bit complacent, thinking he had a lock on Super Tuesday, and weren’t paying enough attention over a Saturday and Sunday... because they’re young and have partying to do... and hangovers to nurse on Mondays... to realize there was any significant threat to their expectations.*

This all resulted in the political quantum leap we all witnessed, where Joe Biden essentially rose from the grave to steal front runner status from Bernie, in what is very suddenly, a two man race.

It’s important to note here that... this was not trickery.  This was not voter suppression or some kind of evil app designed to massage the numbers.  This was not foreign intervention.

This was... straight up political genius... most likely on the part of Obama... and totally by the rules.

He’s still the figurehead of the Democratic Party.  He’s allowed to make a few phone calls and use his influence to give his former VP the best shot possible.

And hey!   He was President for eight years, so...  shouldn’t we assume he knows more about this kind of shit than any of us do?  His Plan worked amazingly well, after all.

Can’t we just trust Obama to use this same kind of genius to guide Biden safely through a contest with Trump, and into the White House, ending our national nightmare?

Well?..

Obama may be a master of political calculation in many spheres... but his Achilles heel always was... and still is... his faith that Republicans can see reason, and will do the right thing.  

It’s one thing to resurrect Biden in a primary, when only Democrats are voting.

It’s a whole other thing to keep that reanimated zombie alive through a campaign against Trump, who will be ready with a shotgun, hatchet, club, and any other weapon of opportunity to send it back to Hell.

Trump got impeached and acquitted over his plans to destroy Biden by slinging mud about Burisma, but he won’t even need to bother gushing his hands into that goop when Biden is so clearly in the grips of early onset dementia.

Up until now, it’s been easy to brush that under the rug... with Biden being only one of ten or more candidates on a debate stage... his incoherent babble easily drowned out by the nine other assholes vying for the spotlight.

Yes, Trump is also in the early stages of dementia, but nowhere near as far down the road as Biden.

Also, as the incumbent, Trump’s brand of on and off dementia has been incorporated into his branding, and is accepted as normal... and very toxic to his opponents.

Trump will mop the fucking floor with Biden... the way only an extremely spiteful bastard could... to a cognitively disadvantaged, and thus helpless fellow senior.

We all know this is true about Joe Biden at age 77.

Some people do hit dementia in their seventies.  Not many.  Usually that’s a thing that develops in your 80s or even 90s, but for some, it does arrive early, and for Biden...it’s pretty advanced.  That’s down to random chance, but it’s still a fact.

People at his stage of dementia do not just bounce back to full brain function because they got the Democratic nomination for the Presidency...  that’s not how cognitive decline works.

This guy can barely string together a sentence.

And when that happens to your grampa, everybody in the family who loves him so much, will kind of be in denial about it, and rally around him, and give him love and hugs, and try to make him as happy as they can.

But... that’s a hell of a thing to trigger a national electorate to do!

Now, Grampa Joe is in a cage match with Bernie Sanders.

This will not be cute!

Of the three... Trump 73, Biden 77, and Sanders 78... in this extremely unfortunate battle to the death now, of very old grandfathers... Sanders is the oldest, but the only one who still has full command of his mental faculties.

Sanders is still sharp as a tack... metnally.  He did have a heart attack, but hey!  that’s child’s play compared to dementia, when you’re talking about a President in 2020.

Biden, if put on a debate stage with Sanders, will be exposed for his late stage dementia... to the awkward embarrassment of all.

But to try and keep Biden off a debate stage with Sanders, to avoid that, and allow him to coast completely on name recognition, and nostalgia for a pre-Trump era... will only result in putting off that awkward embarrassment until the fall, against Trump... at which point it will be ten thousand times worse.

Obama can smile as eight-bit sunglasses drop over his face, about the Super Tuesday maneuver he so cleverly engineered last minute from his living room, but it’s not a stunt that will work again in the general election against Trump.

For Sanders now... the only hope is that voters do shake off this daze and give him big wins next Tuesday, and the Tuesday after that... solidifying his place as front runner well before the convention.

That’s possible... but at this point I’m not holding my breath about anything.

Still, for argument’s sake, let’s say that the cage match between Biden and Sanders not only gives Sanders the lead back... but also exposes Biden’s dementia to the point where he suspends his campaign.

That’s where Elizabeth Warren comes in.

My going theory is that she is still waiting for Biden to eventually drop out, after racking up a ton of delegates, but ultimately collapsing under the harsh spotlight.

She, then, would swoop in to get Biden’s endorsement, taking all his delegates, and challenge Bernie at the convention, perhaps forcing the super delegates to back her over him... because she’s a little more centrist.

If that happens... she will have won the nomination without having won a single state, and only a handful of delegates under her own steam.

And... Trump would still mop the floor with her because, “Pocahontas.”

She’s a deeply snakey, slimey politician who has proven herself to be so time and again... to the voters who matter in all the states she’s never been able to win even in primaries.

She will lose to Trump.

So... I don’t know where the fuck we go from here, but it’s looking more and more like Trump will get another... fifteen years, because if he wins in 2020, he’s president for life.

I will no longer be surprised if that happens, but... the only thing that can possibly stop it is if Bernie just kills it in every contest from next Tuesday until the Convention.

We’ll see.

I’m going to bed.

*Not to be a young voter apologist, because I’m not. I was  young too... partied a lot and had big hangovers.  I still voted in every election, primary or general, local, state, and federal, from the age of 18 to present (now 50).

It was infuriating in 2016, to see how badly millennials who were very vocal online about their informed political opinions, failed us at the polls.  It’s even more infuriating after three years of Trump, to see them, and now their GenZ counterparts, who are even more vocal online, and more informed... fail us once again at the polls... while in the same breath complaining about how the establishment has destroyed their future.

It’s all fun and games until you’re living under a dictatorship, kids, on a dying planet.

If you don’t get your asses out to vote in the 2020 primaries, you will spend a good sixty years in that hell, cursing yourself every single day that you didn’t vote in that one last little window where we still could, and you were dancing on Tik Tok instead.

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 052420

24 May, 2020

Dear Dad--

It still feels weird typing “2020.” Did we all really make it that far into the future, and why did we get a pandemic instead of the flying cars we were all promised? Things here in the trailer in Maine are, actually, pretty fine. I decided I wasn’t feeling guilty and fiscally irresponsible enough, so I bought myself something I always wanted. More on that in a minute.

So, coronavirus! I hope you’re continuing to stay indoors and wearing a mask when shopping. We’ve lost 100,000 Americans to it by now, more than a 9/11 worth every single day. And it’s hard to talk about it without the conversation becoming quickly tainted with everybody’s favorite subject, politics! And I learned a long time ago not to talk politics with other human beings, just because it can be such a bull in the China shop of my sanity. This enables me to offer advice which is completely free from any ideology, other than the belief that staying alive is more desirable than the alternative, so: stay safe out there, and wear a mask, and wash your hands, and don’t french kiss strangers, etc.

A few months ago, I became conscious of the fact that I’ve never owned a decent stereo. I owned a large stereo, but it was a large and cheap and awful stereo. You helped me move it into and out of my dorm room back in San Marcos once or twice! It was made by Soundesign. It had big tall floor speakers, but each speaker box contained only a single mid-range speaker cone thingy inside, no woofers or tweeters, and the whole thing was a piece of shit that fell apart soon after college.

I got it in my head that I wanted an amp/receiver, and two floor speakers. I think of it as the box that makes the sounds, that you plug the speakers into, and the speakers. I wanted to get them used. Now that I’m no longer in an apartment, I wanted the option to crank my music up, if I ever decide I needed to. Generally I don’t need to. I figured, if I kept it to a hundred bucks, and get a good deal, I could justify it. It’d be my first grown-up, full-sized stereo with nice, big, midlife crisis speakers, and it would probably be the last stereo I needed for this lifetime, unless something very unlikely happens, like the cat sitting on it and peeing down into it. I wanted an amplifier/radio and speakers that were non-embarrassing.

Since I wanted used, I started with eBay. The problem with eBay is that, after you buy the shit, they have to send you the shit, and the cost of shipping just the receiver was often comparable to the amount I was hoping to spend on the receiver itself. If the receiver costs that much to ship, imagine what shipping the floor speakers would cost! With that, eBay removed itself from the equation.

Next was Craigslist, kind of the digital equivalent of local classified ads, only I’d be searching the whole state of Maine. Immediately I noticed that there were lots and lots of ads for exactly what I wanted. Lots of amps and speakers and other stereo components, all used, but tested and working, and all from the same area. At this point, my brain pointed out to me that facts were suggesting the existence of a single human being somewhere in Maine, who had a big garage that was full of used stereo components, which he obviously bought, sold, and collected. I figured this might be my guy. I picked one of his classified ads, for a Pioneer amplifier, and just emailed the guy in response to that ad, stating that I wanted a used amp/receiver and two used floor speakers, and that I wanted to spend $125, and I was okay driving to pick it up.

I don’t know why I increased my budget to $125, and it’s part of the reason why doing this while unemployed is so financially irresponsible on my part, and I feel so guilty for doing this. (My plan is to continue feeling guilty until I start working again, at which point the guilt over money spent on luxuries during the time of unemployment will, I assume, disappear on its own.) Also, though I never really articulated this to myself, if I tried to think like a guy in Maine who bought and sold stereo equipment, I’d sell someone a stereo that wouldn’t look embarrassing for a hundred bucks. But if they cared to spend just a bit more, I’d want to give them something better than just not embarrassing; I’d want to give them something that was actually decent.

And I got lucky; I was right. The guy who’d been placing the ads on Craigslist was a guy who lived on the other side of Maine, who had a huge barn garage, where he collected, bought, and sold used stereo equipment. I asked him for an amp/receiver and two floor speakers for $125, and he emailed back to say sure, he’d put something together and email me again. When he emailed again, what he offered was a receiver/amplifier made by Onkyo, which is Japanese, and two floor speakers made by KLH with 12-inch woofers. That would, in theory, provide enough audio power to lift my trailer clear off its foundation and send it hurtling into space.

It was a three-hour drive. The guy’s name was Mike, his barn of a garage was an audiophile’s dream, and his house was a no-shit big-ass geodesic dome. Then a three-hour drive back.

Long story short (too late) I got a helluva deal. The guy was not pleased to read the back label on the receiver and find that it was assembled in Malaysia, but it’s a good brand, and I don’t actually care where the shit’s made. The speakers are big and heavy and wonderful, and the cat is already getting used to sharpening his claws on the front, to my horror. It sounds wonderful. My financial shame is ameliorated somewhat by the fact that I really got a great deal.

I cleaned everything with Clorox wipes to get the plague off it, then cleaned the stereo with Q-tips and distilled water because it’s now my precious new baby and I want it sparkling. Thank goodness we have some good radio stations, including three NPR stations, out here in deep space. The first time Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition” came on the radio, and I turned it up a little bit, I felt like I was hearing all the instruments for the first time. It was really something! And $125 isn’t much more than I spend on groceries each week, so...perhaps I’m not an idiot for doing this. I’m going to enjoy this shit for the rest of my days.

That was the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in a while, and the farthest I’ve driven since driving here from Texas. By the way, I sent the guy a nice email after, telling him how I’d set up the stereo and it was working and sounded wonderful, and thanking him again for giving me such a good deal. I told him that, between his extremely valuable stereo collection and his geodesic dome house, he seemed like someone who probably had some good stories to tell. He replied that it was unfortunate that I lived so far away, and it was his pleasure to present me with such a bargain.

I’ve now spent so much time talking about the stupid stereo that I’ve now written more than I usually write in a typical Sunday letter, but I haven’t touched on anything else yet, so here’s a bullet list:

- We had a hot day! It got up to 89 degrees inside and stayed there for hours. In Maine, that isn’t as bad as it sounds. Sitting in front of a fan pretty much does the trick. It caused the cat to lay about in strange places, where he’d never lain before, because it was too chilly.

- We have spotted more birds! Also I read an article about how, with everyone stuck at home, they’re noticing bird populations exploding! (They’re not exploding. People just aren’t very observant; the birds were there the whole time.) Birdwatching is becoming hugely popular.

- We have had a new visitor, a chipmunk. Never seen a chipmunk before, that I recall. I don’t even know if they exist in Texas. This one keeps coming back to eat our bird treats, so we gave it a name: Old Deuteronomy.

- There’s a lady in the trailer park who occasionally goes off her meds, and starts sending letters to the landlord accusing her neighbors of being drug using fornicators! I wonder how long I’ll be able to escape her attention. I don’t care for those who would pass judgement on my drug use and fornicating.

More next weekend, and stay safe! All my love to you both!