#even if i changed my mind and actually could enjoy kirk just randomly falling in love while his crew was dying

[lenievi]

I finished R.U.R. and now I kind of want to watch The Requiem for Methuselah to see if there’s anything in Rayna that can be traced to R.U.R. She is, after all, named after Capek = Rayna Kapec.

I mean the whole android who discovered love is already there (but it’s not like it’s uncommon, even though idk how common it was 50+ years ago).

The thing is, though, that I feel like I, Mudd would be a better episode to reference Capek/R.U.R., but I guess it would turn a bit dark if that was the case. But instead of Norman we could have Karl lol

[per-ineptia-ad-astra]

Star Trek Episode 1.4: The Naked Time

AKA: Everyone Has A Real Bad Day Except For Sulu

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains an onscreen suicide in which a man stabs himself in the stomach and dies later in surgery. No blood or gore or details of the surgery are seen. This recap covers the first scene but does not contain any images of it. There is one screencap of the surgery scene, which does not show the body, and is only there to point out a particularly ridiculous prop.

Here's a story about The Naked Time for you: one year when I was in college I had a Star Trek wall calendar. Each month had a picture from an episode on the top half, with the name of the episode underneath it, and then some trivia about it on the bottom half. The picture for February was shirtless Sulu posing on the bridge, naturally captioned The Naked Time. So one day a friend of mine who didn't watch Star Trek was over hanging out when she saw my calendar, and I wound up having to explain to her that yes, that was an actual Star Trek episode, no it was not a porn parody of Star Trek, yes it was really called The Naked Time, no, no one actually got naked in it. Which was quite the conversation. You try explaining shirtless Sulu with that caption completely out of context.

February was a good month that year.

Our episode begins with the Enterprise orbiting a planet called Psi 2000, because 2000 is the coolest number (except for 3000). Psi 2000 is an old planet, now little more than an arctic wasteland, which is near the end of its life. So near, in fact, that it's about to fall apart completely, and the Enterprise is there to watch (for science). Before they do that, though, they've got to pick up a research team that's been stationed down on the planet surface.

But all is not well, for we soon see that the inside of the research lab is just as much of an arctic wasteland as the outside, complete with a dead person sprawled over a console. Spock and some dude beam down wearing snazzy orange bubble wrap suits and Spock examines the stiff with his Pringles can gun.

[ID: Spock and another man wearing textured orange hazmat suits, faces only barely visible, standing in a room covered with dubiously realistic snow and ice. A body is slumped over the table in front of them, also covered in snow. Spock is pointing a cylindrical device at it.]

The two of them split up, the dude to check out the life support systems and Spock to examine the horrible scene of a shop window mannequin half-buried in snow. His Pringles can tells him that she's been strangled. The dude comes back and reports that all life support systems are off and there are four more dead people, including the engineer frozen apathetically at his post and another man taking a shower fully-clothed. Well, maybe his clothes were dirty too.

As Spock goes to check out this spectacle for himself, the dude wanders back into the main room and gets out a device of some sort that makes whirring sounds. But then his face itches, so, like the competent Starfleet officer he is, he carries on and ignores this. Ha ha, no, I'm just kidding. He takes his glove off, puts it on the dead guy's head, then sticks his bare hand up his helmet to scratch himself. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then leaves the glove off while he messes around on the floor. When he puts his hand on the side of the desk, we see an ominous red spot in the ice. To give the guy the very little credit he deserves, he doesn't put his hand directly on the red spot, but this doesn't matter much because some of the liquid crawls upward and splatters onto his hand anyway. And he obviously notices this, because he shakes his hand, sticks it back into his helmet to sniff it, then puts his glove back on like nothing happened.

Immediately afterward, Spock comes back and tells him to be certain they expose themselves to nothing. Well, have I got some bad news for you.

Spock calls up to the Enterprise to tell them what's going on, and when Kirk asks what caused all this, Spock says it's like nothing they've dealt with before. The drama of this is a bit undermined by two things: one, everything they deal with is like nothing they've dealt with before, and two, Spock says this in a complete and utter deadpan, even by Spock standards.

After the titles, Kirk recaps what just happened, and says that despite it all they're still going to hang out and watch the planet implode because hey, why waste a trip. Spock and the dude—whose name is now revealed as Tormolen—beam aboard and Scotty decontaminates them by making the transporter lights flash on and off for a few seconds. Then they go over to Sickbay to get checked out just to be double sure. This consists of a brief examination which I don't think is going to be much good for revealing any contaminants they might have picked up, but at least we get to see the cool Sickbay examining tables that flip up and down.

Here's an interesting point: in this scene both Spock and Tormolen are wearing black t-shirts instead of their usual colored tunics. We saw this earlier with McCoy wearing the same kind of shirt when he was chilling back in The Man Trap, and he also seems to be wearing one under his short-sleeved blue shirt, which suggests that it's a standard uniform undershirt (especially since Spock and Tormolen put their blue shirts back on over them after they get done with the examination). So...where the hell is Kirk's? Because we're going to see Kirk with his shirt ripped or off many, many, many....many, many times throughout this series, and he's never wearing anything under it. So what gives? Are these not part of the uniform and these three random people just enjoy wearing them? Are they part of the uniform for everyone but goldshirts? Is Kirk exercising some kind of captain's privilege to not have to wear an undershirt? I don't know, man. Star Trek uniforms have never made any sense to me. Also, I’m sorry I introduced that as interesting. I don’t know why I did that.

Anyway, Spock and McCoy snark at each other a bit, but on a less cheerful note we see that Tormolen is rubbing his forearm anxiously. Which presumably means more in this context than it does when I do that about thirty times a day. Kirk comes in to see what's up, and Tormolen mournfully describes how terrible the scene was. That leads to this bit of dialogue from him and Kirk: “I keep wondering--” “You keep wondering if man was meant to be out here. You keep wondering, you keep signing on.” So either Kirk is a mind reader, or this sentiment is old ground for Tormolen.

Spock says he has no idea what happened down there, but maybe they could find something on the record tapes. Kirk tells Tormolen to go get some rest since he keeps going on about how many dead people there were down there, and he and Spock go off to check those tapes. We see Chapel (yay!) and Tormolen looking at his hand while a sinister rattling sound plays (not yay).

In the briefing room, everyone's looking over the tapes. Spock identifies one as a spectro-analysis tape, but it turns out to just be a slow pan of the room where they beamed down. I would say that's not what spectro-analysis is, but spectro-analysis (as opposed to spectral analysis) isn't a thing, so I guess you can have it mean whatever you want. Kirk muses over how bizarre and macabre this situation is, with everyone just frozen and uncaring, and asks for theories. McCoy says it couldn't be drugs or intoxication since the bio-analysis tapes, which were apparently more useful than the spectro-analysis tapes, rule that out. Spock suggests it may be some new form of space madness, which is like regular madness but in space, but he doesn't know what could have caused it since they didn't pick up anything unusual on their sensors. Scotty points out that that just means they didn't pick up anything unusual that they were designed to pick up, so this could still be something entirely new.

Kirk's main concern is this: they have to get the best readings they can of Psi 2000's breakup, and to do that means maintaining a really precise orbit, so they need absolute efficiency and no one getting space madness and randomly dying. He asks if there's any chance that what happened to the science team could affect the crew of the Enterprise. There's a conspicuous lack of any answer to this, which annoys Kirk, but hey, if they don't know what happened, how can they know what effects it's going to have? Anyway, the bridge calls in to report that the expected erratic changes are beginning to happen to the planet, and the meeting ends on that note.

In the rec room, or whatever, some people are playing space checkers (like regular checkers, but in space) and Tormolen is getting some food. He's still staring at his hand and rubbing it against his shirt like there's something on there he can't scrub off. Which I guess there is.

Sulu and friend come in to get some coffee, chatting about Sulu's latest passion: fencing. His friend complains that Sulu has a habit of picking up intense interests every week or so, which I guess is kind of thrown in there as a justification for why Sulu was in the botany lab a couple weeks ago but never shows up there again. The two of them sit down next to Tormolen and Sulu, noticing his buddy's new compulsion, asks if everything is alright, causing Tormolen to snap at him violently.

The two goldshirts get called to the bridge, but Sulu makes one last effort to check on Tormolen before they go. This really sets Tormolen off, making him jump up, knock his chair over, and go on an impassioned rant about how mankind doesn't belong in space. When his friends try to calm him down, he grabs the knife from his plate and points it first at them, then at himself. They get into a tussle, trying to take the knife from Tormolen, while everyone else in the room watches dispassionately. Thanks, guys.

Sulu and his pal aren't successful getting the knife away and all three of them take a tumble to the floor, and as they get up it's revealed that Tormolen stabbed himself in the stomach. I'm...not sure how he managed to do that with a butter knife. Sulu's friend runs over to the intercom and yells that they need medics. Then we hear another sinister rattle and he starts rubbing at his hands like Tormolen did.

After the break, Kirk gives a log saying that unbeknownst to them, a new disease has been brought on board. But this one's not in the past tense, so it just kind of makes it sound like Kirk has precognition. On the bridge, Sulu and his friend—who we finally learn is called Riley—are keeping the Enterprise steady around the rapidly condensing planet. Spock waxes on a bit about how they may be seeing Earth's own future, since before its sun went dark Psi 2000 was very similar to Earth. I dunno what we're going to do with that information, but hey, science!

Everything seems to be going alright so far, except that both Sulu and Riley have caught that bad case of Out, Damn Spot that's been going around, complete with sinister rattling. Kirk can't hear the soundtrack, though, so he doesn't notice anything off. He goes over to talk to Spock about the strange case of Tormolen. Spock thinks Tormolen was too confused to be actively trying to kill himself, but he notes that the man's capacity for self-doubt has always been high and wonders what caused it to suddenly come to the surface like that.

In Sickbay, Chapel and McCoy are operating on Tormolen, but it's not going well, even when McCoy blowtorches Tormolen's wound shut.

[Image description: McCoy and Chapel, dressed in blue Sickbay scrubs, doing surgery on a draped body at a Sickbay table. McCoy is saying, “Closing,” while pointing a device at the patient. The device looks remarkably like a completely undisguised blowtorch. ]

We briefly cut away to the bridge, where there's been a sudden increase in gravity that causes the orbit to go all wonky. Riley's too busy looking at his hands to do his job, causing Kirk to have to do it while Riley sits there and sweats heavily. Back in Sickbay, Tormolen's vitals are inexplicably dropping, and despite McCoy and Chapel's best efforts, he dies. This really freaks McCoy out because Tormolen's wounds shouldn't have been fatal. He calls Kirk to Sickbay, and after taking a moment for a bit of exposition, Kirk heads down.

Sulu and Riley talk about how much they're both sweating, then Sulu abruptly suggests they head down to the gym for a bit of a workout to calm their nerves. Riley is understandably perplexed about this, but that doesn't stop Sulu from sneaking off the bridge unnoticed (somehow), leaving poor Riley with no idea what to do about it.

In Sickbay, McCoy is explaining to Kirk that Tormolen's wounds were not severe enough to kill him, and says that the only reason he died was because he didn't want to live. Um. I don't think you can will yourself to death. Especially not while you're unconscious. But McCoy can't come up with anything else, and he's especially baffled because he says that men like Tormolen don't give up. They can't be trusted to investigate inexplicable deaths without contaminating themselves and they're incredibly susceptible to ennui, but they don't give up.

Kirk wonders if this is a coincidence, with Tormolen dying after having been down on the planet where all those other people died. McCoy can't see how, since they checked everything they could and did everything that was possible. Kirk tells him to check the impossible too. What the hell does that mean? “Check if he was a vampire! See if he died from Kryptonite poisoning! Try sprinkling fairy dust on him!”

On the bridge, the orbit goes out of whack, causing Spock to finally notice that one of the helmsmen is mysteriously absent. He runs over and sets things straight, recruiting a guy called Rand (no relation) to take Sulu's place and demanding to know why Sulu isn't there. Riley is...not very helpful.

[Image description: Riley, a white goldshirt with brown hair and a very drunk look on his face, sitting at the helm on the bridge and proclaiming, “Have no fear, Riley's here!”]

Spock relieves Riley, replacing him with Uhura. That's right, Uhura can run communications and fly the ship. Uhura can do anything.

Spock sends Riley to Sickbay, and Riley goes happily enough, sauntering off through the corridors and opening the Sickbay doors by blowing on them. He goes in and pesters Chapel, first mournfully asking her what happened to Tormolen, then, without skipping a beat, starts hitting on her, causing more sinister rattling when he touches her chin. Then he says that Tormolen's mistake was that he wasn't born an Irishman. Because as we all know, Irish people are immortal. Then he leaves. Well, to be fair, Spock just said to report to Sickbay, he didn't say anything about what to do when Riley got there.

Riley's pretty quickly overshadowed though, because immediately afterwards we see Sulu burst through a door, shirtless, laughing, waving a rapier, and having the time of his life.

[ID: Sulu, wearing only his uniform pants and boots, standing in the middle of an Enterprise corridor, grinning and striking a duelist’s pose with a rapier. The subtitle reads [Music]. ]

Legend has it that the original script was undecided about whether Sulu was using a rapier or a samurai sword, and that the choice was up to Takei, who went with the rapier because he felt that the samurai sword was much too stereotypical for a Japanese character, something he really wanted to break away from because in the 60s it was really goddamn hard for an Asian actor to get any role that wasn't a pile of stereotypes. Legend—and by legend, I mean, George Takei—also has it that Takei spent the time up until the shoot frantically doing push-ups in his dressing room to prepare for his shirtless scenes. He really enjoyed this episode, and boy howdy can you tell by watching him.

Sulu encounters a couple of crewmen walking the other way, who have an astounding lack of reaction to being spontaneously menaced by a really sweaty guy with a sword. At least, up until he charges them, at which point they turn tail and run away. Sulu only finds greater amusement in this, calling them cowards as he climbs up a nearby ladder.

Meanwhile, Spock gets a guy to relieve Uhura, and Kirk comes on the bridge to discuss the strange case of the missing helmsmen. He tells Uhura to send a security team out to locate and confine the two of them, and Uhura responds with a report about Sulu's antics.

Spock proposes a pattern of hidden personality traits suddenly surfacing: Tormolen's self-doubt, Sulu's desire to be a swashbuckler, and Riley...being really proud of being Irish. I guess that's a personality trait.

Before they can go any farther with this theory, there's another disturbance from the planet, only this time the helmsmen can't compensate because their controls aren't working. Kirk decides enough's enough and orders them to warp out of there, but the warp drive also isn't responding. Neither are the impulse engines.

Kirk heads off to see what's up with this, but he's interrupted by Sulu bursting in on the bridge, waving his sword around wildly, and I don't think Shatner's expression as the rapier gets shoved in his face had much to do with acting. Uhura tries to get the sword away, but Sulu grabs her to his side, declaring, “I'll protect you, fair maiden!” To which she responds, “Sorry, neither.” Wow. Censors were asleep that day, huh.

A triple attack by Kirk, Spock and Uhura gets Sulu a Vulcan nerve pinch for his trouble, and Spock has him hauled off to Sickbay, with a surprisingly snarky comment from Spock about “D'Artagnan here.” Kirk goes back to trying to raise Scotty about that engine trouble...but it's not Scotty that replies. It's Riley. He says that he's relieved Scotty of his duties and also that he's the captain now. Apparently they can't shut him off, either, because he goes on to demand double portions of ice cream for dinner and then starts singing “I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen.” Kirk's face says it all.

[ID: Kirk, standing on the bridge next to the lift doors with one hand to his forehead, looking extremely frustrated, while Riley sings, “I’ll take you home again Kathleen...” over the intercom.]

Kirk's having a really bad day.

With nineteen minutes to go before they swandive into the collapsing planet, Kirk finally reaches Engineering, where Scotty is doing his best to get in. He says that Riley told everyone that Kirk wanted them on the bridge, then locked the door behind them. Wow. It is really easy to take over Engineering. Not only that, but Riley's hooked everything up to the main panel in Engineering, so they can't use auxiliary control. The only way they can get back into Engineering is to literally burn a hole through the wall, which is going to be tricky because the wall is full of stuff that you really don't want to burn through.

Riley's still singing, and I would comment on the quality of his singing, but that would be very hypocritical of me, so I won't. Besides, everyone else in the episode will do it for me. Uhura reports to Spock that various incidents among the crew are increasing, either because of the sickness or because they're all just worried they're gonna die, so Spock orders her to have the main sections sealed off so they can hopefully slow down the spread of this thing. But Uhura's alert is cut off by Riley, who's also overridden the alert channels. You can do anything from Engineering. Riley tells Uhura that she won't get ice cream since she interrupted his song. Awwww. He also says there will be a dance in the bowling alley later. Hang on, they have a bowling alley? Of all the things you could have installed for entertainment on your starship, you picked a bowling alley? No wonder they're so desperate for shore leave all the time.

Uhura says she can't do anything to cut Riley off, so Spock goes over and presses a bunch of buttons to confirm this. I've noticed a running theme in this show is that no one believes Uhura when she says she can't do something or something's not working. Then again, that happens to Scotty a lot too.

Just then, there's a big jolt, and everyone dutifully flings themselves across the set. My favorite part of this is the brief cutaway to Sickbay where we see McCoy doing a belly flop across Sulu's legs.

[ID: Sickbay tilting to the side, causing Chapel to fall backward onto a bed and McCoy to wind up horizontal on top of a passed-out Sulu.]

He calls up to the bridge to complain about this (apparently Riley didn't bother cutting that particular channel) and says that they're running tests on Sulu but haven't found anything yet. Kirk asks if there's anything he can do about Riley, but McCoy's got nuthin. Not even some tranquilizer gas to pump in there or anything. You're falling down on the job, there, Bones. Literally and metaphorically.

Riley calls in again to give the female crewmembers orders on how to look (thanks dude), including telling them not to wear too much makeup. You don't want too much makeup on this ship, Riley, you better take that up with Mr. Spock and his eyeshadow.

Then he starts singing “I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen” one more time. Which I guess is the only song he knows. You couldn't mix it up a bit there, Riley? Rocky Road To Dublin? Galway Bay? Thousands Are Sailing? No?

Scotty does something that gives the bridge enough power to keep the ship stabilized, but that's not that much help since their orbit is still decaying and they're now sixteen minutes away from faceplanting into the planet (faceplaneting). Kirk takes a moment to sign a PADD for a crewman. Kirk. Kirk, the ship is crashing. You can do paperwork later. He sends Spock down to help McCoy, but tells him to stop on the way to harangue Scotty to go faster.

On his way, Spock encounters a maniacally laughing man who's painted 'love mankind' on the wall, and a goldshirt harassing Rand, because harassing Rand is the main pastime on the Enterprise. Spock tells him to stop that, and he does...until Spock leaves, whereupon he immediately starts again. Helpful.

Spock finds Scotty, who says he's doing the best he can, dammit, and he can't cut through the bulkhead safely any faster, but Spock tells him they don't have time to be safe. This clearly perturbs Scotty deep in his engineer's soul. Not much anyone can do about it now, though.

In Sickbay, McCoy is yelling at the biopsy lab, but they're not responding, so he goes over to yell at them in person. Chapel is left behind with Sulu, who's coming out of the tranquilizer (we can tell because he's thrashing his head around and grunting). Unfortunately Chapel has the contagion from where Riley touched her, and she wanders off.

Things aren't going well on the bridge. Riley is still singing, various people are having to be shoved out of their chairs as they succumb to the contagion, and Kirk is about to lose it. He snaps at Uhura to cut Riley off, and she snaps back at him that she sure as hell would if she could. Kirk has the good grace to apologize, but it's understandable; I think anyone would lose it after that many renditions of “I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen.”

Spock finally makes it to Sickbay, where he encounters Chapel, who starts rubbing his hand and talking about how the men from Vulcan treat their women. Keep in mind that's the Vulcan equivalent of passionately making out, so Spock is understandably pretty perturbed by this, especially when she starts saying she loves him. Spock finally manages to disentangle himself, but it's too late: he's been infected too. He wanders out into the corridor, ignoring Uhura's attempts to get a hold of him, and starts sniffling, which is the Spock equivalent of attacking people with a sword.

Kirk stomps down to Engineering with some security guys in tow, where Scotty is finishing up cutting a Tetris block-shaped piece out of the wall. He reaches his hand right in the still-smoking hole (badass) and opens the door, letting Kirk and the redshirts rush in and apprehend Riley. Riley's a graceful loser, though; he just says, “No dance tonight,” and gets thrown into the redshirts while Kirk and Scotty desperately start pushing buttons.

Meanwhile, Spock finds an empty room to duck into, and tries desperately to get control of himself, collapsing into a chair and muttering some math as he breaks into sobs. This is an interesting scene, because it wasn't originally in the script; Spock was supposed to have a much more light-hearted encounter where he burst into tears after getting a mustache drawn on him by the mad graffiti artist. Nimoy objected, feeling that this was out of character for Spock and missing a great opportunity, so he pushed for the scene to be changed. He had to keep pushing, because the scriptwriter didn't initially want to do it, and then it came in at the end of the shooting day and no one thought they could get it done in time, but Nimoy persevered and did the whole thing in one take right under the wire.

The result is something special: a rare scene showing Spock in a moment of true, open vulnerability, confessing to the feelings he insists he doesn't have, the struggle to keep himself restrained and logical to the point that he can't confess feelings like love and friendship even to himself. It also stands out from the rest of the episode, as aside from Tormolen—whose arc, while tragic, is rather flat--most of the results of the affliction are much more Wacky Hijinks than anything seriously emotional.

There's bad news in Engineering: Scotty's found out that Riley turned the engines off completely, and it would take thirty minutes to start them up again. This is bad, since they're now starting to burn up in the planet's atmosphere and have got about eight minutes left...leading to one of Scotty's most famous lines: “I cannot change the laws of physics. I got to have thirty minutes!”

Well, Kirk isn't going to take the immutable laws of physics as an excuse. He suggests a controlled implosion of the engines, but Scotty says that's only a theory and has never been done. They'd need a row of computers working weeks to find the right formula. Speaking of which, where is Spock?

In Sickbay, Sulu has finally come round, which for some reason involves screaming at the top of his lungs while McCoy watches dispassionately.

[ID: Sulu sitting up in Sickbay and screaming, while McCoy watches him with a hypospray in his hand.]

When he's done screaming, Sulu seems back to normal and apparently doesn't remember anything since he left the bridge. That's enough for McCoy, who shoves Chapel out of her chair (there's a lot of shoving people out of their chairs in this episode) and calls the lab to tell them they've finally isolated the problem. He says that somehow on Psi 2000 water has changed to a complex chain of molecules (it what now) that's passed through perspiration and acts like alcohol once it's in the bloodstream. Except it doesn't cause anyone to lose coordination, or slur their speech, or throw up, or pass out, or have difficulty thinking, or have any effect aside from soul-baring and a lot of sweating. So...maybe not a whole lot like alcohol. McCoy tries to tell all this to the lab, but they just laugh hysterically at him, so he goes off to do it himself.

Kirk finds Spock (...somehow) and demands to know why he's crying in a side room while the ship is crashing. Spock starts talking about his mother and how he could never tell her he loved her. It's very moving, but we've only got five minutes before no one on the ship is going to be telling anyone anything ever again, so Kirk's got no time to listen. Not even when Spock says that he feels ashamed when he feels friendship for Kirk, a touching admission which is somewhat undercut by the fact that Kirk is currently expressing that friendship by smacking Spock repeatedly across the face.

Eventually Spock gets tired of this and backhands Kirk in return, sending him tumbling over the nearby table with such force I'm surprised Spock didn't break his jaw in the process. Kirk starts ranting about the about implosion process and then smacks the nearby console when Uhura tries to contact him, from which he intuits that he's got the infection. Then he starts going on about how the Enterprise consumes everything in his life and he can't have normal relationships. Now, when Tormolen, Sulu and Riley were affected it took considerable time for substantial behavior changes to occur, but Kirk has to one-up everyone so he managed it in about five seconds. Meanwhile, Spock calms down and starts talking about the intermix formula, because...I guess he just got over this by himself. Also, I'm pretty sure five minutes have passed by now.

Scotty comes in to try and get something useful out of somebody, and he and Spock go off to work on the intermix formula, leaving Kirk to angstily make his way up to the bridge. As he steps out of the turbolift, McCoy is waiting to give him the antidote, which he does by ripping Kirk's sleeve open. Even though hyposprays can go through clothing. And Kirk's exposed neck is right there. And a gentle tug at the fabric would have been more than sufficient. Look, McCoy's had a long day, alright, he needs to take it out on somebody.

[ID: Kirk standing in front of the bridge lift doors looking tired and annoyed while McCoy injects a hypospray into the bare skin on his arm exposed by Kirk’s uniform shirt sleeve being ripped open almost down to the elbow.]

While we're at it, the question must be asked: how did McCoy manage to not get infected this whole time? He was in ample contact with lots of people who were infected, while wearing a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow never once had the slightest bit of skin-to-skin contact with any of them? The only thing I can come up with is that he was infected but it was impossible to tell any difference.

On the screen, the planet is rushing past closer and closer while everyone stares silently. In Engineering, Spock and Scotty are cutting even more corners to get the intermix to work in time. They do...something, and the lights go dim on the bridge while everyone reacts dramatically; Kirk goes full throttle by throwing his head back in a silent scream, while McCoy is content to rub his ear and squint a bit.

Then it's all over: the lights come back up and instead of a rapidly approaching planet on the viewscreen there's an open starfield. Spock comes up to say that they were successful, obviously, but with a bit of a hitch: they overloaded the engines and now they're traveling faster than possible. Not only that, but the ship chronometer is now running backward. They're going backward in time! Why is this happening? Who knows. Maybe they just went so fast they came back around again the other way.

They hit the brakes, but not before traveling three days back in time. Well, could've been worse. Spock points out that this is all very intriguing, having, you know, access to time travel now, but Kirk isn't interested in repeating this experiment anytime soon. He tells Sulu to take them on to their next destination. Um. Are you sure it's a good idea to head to your next destination before you've technically departed your last one? You're gonna get some questions from Starfleet about why you're not on the mission you're supposed to be on.

Anyway, the episode ends there, leaving the whole time travel thing a bizarre non-sequitor that comes out of nowhere, adds nothing whatsoever to the episode, and is never mentioned again. This is because this episode was originally supposed to be a two-parter leading into Tomorrow Is Yesterday, which is a proper full-fledged time travel episode. For whatever reason that didn't happen, though, so we just have this weird little endcap that it's probably best not to think about too much.

TREK TROPE TALLY: Crew death count for this episode is one blueshirt (Tormolen), bringing us up to seventeen. We also have our first case of Space Diseases with the Emotions Virus, our first case of a Time Trek, albeit an extremely mild one with the Enterprise getting thrown back three days into the past, and our second case of Uniforms Unformed with Kirk’s tissue-paper sleeve being mercilessly destroyed by McCoy. Next time, we'll be looking at a tale of doppelganger woe in The Enemy Within.

[callunavulgari]

SCRAPBOOK 2017 - TAKE TWO

Scrapbook for the second half of 2017, because tumblr doesn’t like it when you have a million links on one post.

Italicized titles = enjoyed muchly, bold titles = love, titles with an asterisk* = OBSESSION and titles in (brackets) are re-watches/re-reads. And lastly, strikethough = DISLIKE.

Goals are: read thirty-five new books this year (yikes, way behind), finish four video games (definitely on track here), finish writing and publish the Sabriel AU (eh heh), and write something original (does coming up with the idea count?). 

MOVIES

June

Wonder Woman

(Doctor Strange)

Kiki’s Delivery Service

Bronson

Chocolat

Tristan and Isolde

(Moana)

Power Rangers

July

Spiderman: Homecoming

Mona Lisa Smile

Baby Driver

(Logan)

Ouija: Origins of Evil

(Star Wars: Rogue One)

Passengers

Atomic Blonde

King and I

Stranded

August

The Sixth Sense

(Armageddon)

Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children

9

(The Princess Diaries)

(X-Men: Apocalypse)

Legend

(Silent Hill)

BOOKS

June:

Authority | Jeff Vandermeer

July:

Authority | Jeff Vandermeer 

The Secret History | Donna Tarte

A Wrinkle In Time | Madeline L’Engle [Fin]

The Archived | Victoria Schwab [Fin]

Scythe | Neal Shusterman  [Fin]

Shadow and Bone | Leigh Bardugo [Fin]

August

Siege and Storm | Leigh Bardugo [Fin]

Less | Andrew Sean Greer

Authority | Jeff Vandermeer

A Wind In The Door |  Madeline L’Engle [Fin]

PODCASTS

June:

The Bright Sessions Eps 31-32

Alice Isn’t Dead Eps 3-4

Welcome to Night Vale 1-3

July:

Alice Isn’t Dead Eps 4-5

EOS 10 Eps 1-3

August

N/A

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

June:

Grace and Frankie

American Gods

(Stranger Things)

How to Get Away With Murder s2

Black Sails s2

July:

Black Sails s2

Grace and Frankie

Stargate SG-1 s2, s3

Doctor Who s8

The Strain

Boku no Hero Academia 

August

Westworld

Voltron s3

Game of Thrones s7

The Strain

Yamishibai

Jerry Springer  (Vacation w/ boyfriend’s family. Brother and friends are awful.)

VIDEO GAMES

June:

LoZ: Breath of the Wild (Definitely more than 40 hrs; Fin)

Dishonored 2 (Corvo Playthrough, 7 hrs)

Witcher 3 (15 hrs?)

July:

Witcher 3 (15 hrs?)

(Final Fantasy XV, 2 hrs)

August

(Final Fantasy XV, 2 hrs)

DELIGHTFUL FIC

June:

Running on Air by eleventy7 (HP; Drarry; 75k;  Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.)

Slithering by astolat (HP; Drarry; 27k;  Draco found the nest down in the Manor’s cellars, while he was clearing them out.)

Bitter Honey, Green Night by Faith Wood (faithwood) (HP; Drarry; 14k;  An inn, an Auror, a criminal, a mystery.)

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by waspabi (HP; Drarry; 93k;  'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.)

Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi (HP; Drarry; 57k; Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.)

stranger things than polyamory by trepan (Stranger Things; Jonathon/Steve/Nancy; 3.5k;  Somebody spray-paints NANCY WHEELER HAS TWO BOYFRIENDS on a wall she walks by on her way back from school in May. There are a couple of other students watching her as she passes. Nancy gives the sign a long look, then smirks at them politely.)

the heart its own rough animal by trepan (Stranger Things; Jonathon/Nancy/Steve; 21k;  “Where’s her daemon,” says one of the boys urgently. “Guys, she doesn’t have one.”)

in the bone by patho (ghostsoldier) (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 2.8k;  It all began when Corvo started kissing the Mark for luck.)

The Sea and Stars Are Yours, My Dear, But the Moon Would Not Cooperate by NeverwinterThistle (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 25k; The Outsider explores the murky seas of human courtship while Corvo watches in bemusement, and in the background Emily draws, Callista takes charge, Piero sulks, and Cecelia accidentally becomes indispensable. There's also a plague, a vase of asparagus, and about a hundred singing whales who randomly showed up in the harbour one evening.The squid is still wriggling.)

apocrypha by aerynlallaboso (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 95k+; WIP;  The Eighth year of the reign of Empress Emily Kaldwin, First of her Name, the second year without a whisper from the Outsider, is the year the Void chooses to mark the end of an era.)

a small soft death by patho (ghostsoldier) (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 2.8k; “The finest steel,” the Outsider says, “is forged with true purpose in mind. Elements that enhance the strength of the weapon are carefully chosen, and those that make the metal brittle and weak are burned away. It is an exacting process. The most beautiful dagger will be of no use at all if the steel is not properly tempered. Do you understand?”)

in·car·nate by bygoneboy (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 21k; The Void’s Chosen have loved him before.)

The Crown of the Summer Court by astolat (Merlin; Merlin/Arthur; 24k;  "The king sent me to get you," Merlin said, with a tone that implied strongly that he wasn't rolling his eyes where Arthur could see, but just wait until his back was turned. "He said you're to get changed into formal clothes and meet him in the Great Hall, there's a delegation coming from the Summer Court.")

the king of oak by saltpans (HP: FBAWTFT; Credance/Percival Graves; 38k; The first thing Percival Graves does after being released back into the world is buy a new wand.)

Hi, You Were My Husband in Another Life, Professor by littlebirdtold (Star Trek; Spirk; 48k; Um, hi. I'm Jim. Jim Kirk. You don't know me, but I know you. Well, sort of. It's a long story.)

  Bluebird by waldorph (Star Trek; Spirk; 7k; Jim whipped around so fast most of his drink ended up on Spock, who was reaching for the phaser that wasn’t there. The Enterprise crew was parting like the biblical seas before Moses, and Jim could feel the temperature dropping. “Mom,” Jim croaked.)

Misethere by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 46k; Emhyr was looking at him for once, with a strange expression. “I have misjudged you,” he said, sounding irritated actually: how dare Geralt surprise him.“I get that a lot,” Geralt said.)

Blooded Crown by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 24k; “You need not thank me,” Emhyr said. “I have an ulterior motive.”It annoyed Geralt to be surprised. He should’ve known from the start. “Yeah?” The words came out with a little bite. “Have another daughter you need me to track down?”“If I wished to hire you, I would hire you,” Emhyr said. “No: I want you to come to my bed.”)

Cursed by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 8k;  Geralt was reasonably sure this was the worst damn day of the worst damn month of his life, and it hadn’t hit bottom yet.)

July:

The War of Silver and Ash by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 15k; He hadn’t come here with a contract. He’d come here to get the faces out of his head: the bloodless dead sprawled in heaps through the streets of Beauclair, the morning after the rampage Detlaff had unleashed; the blank eyes of the boy in the orphanage tilting his head to let Orianna drink from his throat, with the lullaby she’d been singing him still hanging in the air.Wasn’t working that well so far.)

A Year In Toussaint by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 30k; Geralt had no damn idea what to do with a vineyard when Anna Henrietta gave him Corvo Bianco, but he figured it couldn’t be that bad.)

circling by xpityx (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 5k; Emhyr sighed, as if Geralt’s lack of immediate understanding was a fundamental failure of his character.)

Running Behind by Asidian (FFXV; Prompto/Noctis; WIP;  There's a tag hanging on his storage pod, instead of the clipboard that documents his progress. On that tag, there's a single word stamped in red: defective.)

Toys by astolat (Lucifer; Lucifer/Chloe; 2k; “You want to fuck me!” he said gleefully.)

Emblazoning by astolat (Merlin; OT4; 19k; Morgana turned away from the high, barred window and rubbed her arms, chilled and bare. Arthur was sitting in the dirty straw at the very limit of his chains, which kept him a few inches too far away to touch Merlin's limp body. Outside they were putting up the stake.)

Redemption Merry Go-Round by astolat (Lucifer; Lucifer/Dan/Chloe; 8k;  Dan was deeply sorry for whatever he’d done in his life that had landed him in this mess, and also reasonably sure that despite all the shit he’d pulled in the last couple of years, he still didn’t deserve this.)

wild peaches by notbecauseofvictories (The Labyrinth; Sarah/Goblin King; 3k;  The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast.)

where the weeds take root by beenghosting (Supernatural; Destiel; 30k+;  “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”)

damnatio memoriae by temporalDecay (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 12k;  “May I walk the estate?” Emhyr repeated, and his nose crinkled in that familiar twitch of displeasure that Geralt had always secretly delighted in causing, despite how downright suicidal it was to invoke it on purpose. “I'm not going to run away,” he added, with a slight glare. “I'm merely bored.”)

Heart and Home by lc2l (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 97k; In an alternate Paris, werewolves occupy the majority of the ruling classes, making and adjusting policy to suit their interests. The punishments for a human attacking a werewolf can be brutal, unless they have the protection of a wolf pack.How this translates to 'claim Grantaire as your mate to get him out of prison' is something Enjolras is still trying to get his head around, but he's never been one to give up on a cause even when it's sleeping on his sofa.)

August

How the Future's Done by barricadeur (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 12k;  "Grantaire," he says slowly. "What do you have in that box?")

vocal ink by sarahyyy (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 3k; “Officially, we don’t have a leader, everyone here is equal,” Courfeyrac says, keeping his voice low as Enjolras starts his speech, “but if we did, and we don’t, it would be Enjolras.” He looks over to Marius. “Do not approach him. Let him come to you, let him be the first to initiate conversation, and for the love of God, do not mention soulmates.”)

Years Since It's Been Clear by lady_ragnell (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 10k;  Grantaire really doesn't expect Enjolras to force him to move in with him when he hears how shitty Grantaire's apartment is. And he definitely doesn't expect Enjolras to want him to stay, or how easy it turns out to be, or the way Enjolras has a habit of doing his studying in the sunshine on the living room floor ...)

Tolerable (Inuyasha; Sesshomaru&Miroku; 30k; “The scent is not entirely unpleasant.”)

Silence Is the Speech of Love by lady_ragnell (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 50k; Grantaire's life has a pattern: he pays his respects to Aphrodite, he goes to work, he loves Enjolras and provokes him because he can't bring himself to do otherwise.)

The Five Year Plan by Neery (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 16k;  Enjolras loses his memory. Thankfully, nothing unexpected seems to have happened to him in the five years he can't remember. Well, except for the boyfriend. The boyfriend's kind of a surprise.)

dance this silence down (the emergency room remix) by Fahye (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 54k;  He's sitting in a car with all of his belongings in the back seat and his hands wrapped around the steering wheel, admitting to himself that a stupid, dizzy firework of a one-night-stand with a man he'd barely known is one of the only bright memories he has right now.)

World Ain't Ready by idiopathicsmile (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 185k; Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn't even opened his mouth yet. That's got to be a record, even for them."I need a favor," he says at last)**

  The Ghost of You by luchia (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 25k; Grantaire moves into an apartment inhabited by a poltergeist. Enjolras haunts him, and Grantaire should really win an award for most complicated relationship status ever.)

box of secrets by nightswatch (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 53k;  Grantaire leaves his doodles all over the place. Enjolras collects them without knowing who drew them.)

Yes, Sir by mikkimouse (Voltron; Sheith; 8k; "Are you all ready to get started?""Yes, sir!" twenty voices answered in unison.Shiro's stomach flipped at the words. Oh, no.The soulmark on his right wrist burned, confirmation that his soulmate was one of the twenty people who'd just uttered the phrase.)

despite what you've been told by caseyvalhalla (Yuri On Ice; Yuuri/Viktor; 14k; When Victor falls, he goes down hard.)

these things take time by sonhoedesrazao (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 63k;  He’s always wary of making assumptions; even more so when Grantaire is concerned. He knows he’s not the easiest person to deal with. People either like him or can’t stand him, and it’s easy to respond to those reactions, but Grantaire—Grantaire is hostile and mocking, Grantaire scorns his beliefs, and Grantaire stays.)

In the End We Have Each Other by samyazaz (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 50k; what startles Enjolras the most is that he manages approximately half a step through the door into the back room where they all meet before Grantaire rattles his glass down on the table in the back that he's taken for his own and drawls, "Is there something you forgot to tell us, Apollo?"That silences the room, predictably enough. Everyone breaks off their conversations and swivels to stare at him. At him, and at the baby carrier that he's got hooked over one arm.)

True Colors by lady_ragnell (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 4k;  The first thing that catches Enjolras's eye when he enters the Musain Cafe for the first time is the walls. They're a dull black that it takes him a moment to realize must be chalkboard paint, because near the tables there are words and doodles, and all over, even the erased sections are stained with faint colored marks like the walls have soulmarks.)

Hit Me With Your Best Shot by tellthemstories (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 10k; Fourteen times Grantaire tried to kill Enjolras.And one time he fell in love.)

RSVP (+1) by tellthemstories (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantire; 21k;  When Enjolras is invited to Marius and Cosette’s wedding, he fully intends to ignore the ‘plus one’ on the invite. He’s busy at work and he has a lot on - he doesn’t have time for relationships. What he doesn’t expect is for Grantaire to invite himself along and then hit it off immediately with all of his friends.)

always there to remind you by estora, taywen (Dishonored; Corvo/Daud; 8k;  Later, after he had killed a number of people for coin, but before he killed so many that he lost count, Daud was glad he had no mark. No soulmate deserved to have his words marked on their skin.)

( Watercast by Fishwrites (Voltron; Lance/Keith; 96k; WIP;  Shiro has been a Galra prisoner for over a year; with his flight feathers clipped and unable to fly. Desperate to escape, he jumps overboard while being transported to the capitol on a Galran ship. Lance is a merman who saves him from drowning. Keith thinks Shiro is about to become mermaid dinner. Hunk just wants Lance to stop going to the surface all the time, dammit!))

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

June:

Multifandom || Tessellate (TYS: round2)

Multifandom || Bleeding out (collab w/ KatrinDepp)

Multifandom || Is this Real?

Multifandom || Insane Like Me (TYS: round1)

Multifandom │ Warriors

July:

the beast of america | percival graves

Get You Killed || Percival Graves

Percival Graves - Hit & Run

► Graves (+Credence) | Are You Insane Like Me?

Credence Barebone/Percival Graves || And I wanna fight, But I can't contend

[FIREFLY] - She always did love to dance

[Multifandom] - Dance with me

The Last of Us || Can't Pretend

The Walking Dead || Bottom of the River

Multifandom || Do Not Go Gentle Into That Goodnight

Doctor Who (Logan Style)

Spider-Man (Peter Parker) // Everybody Loves Me

Iron Man (Tony Stark) // Gold

In The Flesh | we're gonna die, die, die

In The Flesh || We're Alone Now

Fantastic Beasts || Step into the light

Stranger Things|| Knocking On Heaven's Door

Jonathan & Nancy|| Tighten Up

Multifandom|| Stuck.Broken.Dead.

[Multifandom] - One Word

Marvel | Human

percival graves | can't hold us

August

Hela // Castle

grantaire & enjolras - help me kill the president

Game of Thrones || Blood of My Blood (for 60k)

(GoT) House Stark | The North Remembers

(GoT) Jaime Lannister | Oathbreaker

Jonathan Byers || I'm not like everybody else

Uptown Funk || Marvel Universe

MARVEL || Can't hold us

GLITTER & GOLD || Multifandom [HNY●2017]

I'M SO SORRY | Marvel Cinematic Universe

David Haller [Legion] | Dysfunctional

(Legion) It's Better When it Feels Wrong

unless you make it real [Legion]

not today [yuri on ice]

Haikyuu!! || not today

Multifandom | Tame Your Demons (w/SnowLightxx)

Six Of Crows - Trouble

marvel || battle royale

(GoT) Jon Snow | The Targaryen Wolf

Arya Stark // See What I've Become

(GoT) Jon Snow || The Wolf With Dragon's Blood

MARVEL/DC || BORN ready 

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

June:

Johnny Hollow - Boogeyman

Sia - To Be Human feat. Labrinth

Lorde - Green Light

The National - "Don't Swallow the Cap"

The Growlers - "I'll Be Around"

The xx - I Dare You

Phantogram - Fall In Love

alt J - In Cold Blood

And I Waited All Night For You To Come, But You Never Did

Sia - The Greatest

Hopeless Fountain Kingdom - Halsey (Album)

History - Monakr

Wildcat! Wildcat! - Relentless (feat. Wynne)

Ingrid Michaelson - In the Sea

Cities in Dust Lyrics- The Everlove

Prides - Messiah

ODESZA - It's Only (feat. Zyra)

Metric - Breathing Underwater

Purity Ring - Sea Castle

Hundreds - Fighter

Labyrinth Ear - Urchin

Rasputina - Dig Ophelia

Sóley - Fight Them Soft

Soap&Skin - Boat Turns Toward The Port

CocoRosie - R.I.P. Burn Face

AURORA - Nature Boy

July:

Hamilton Soundtrack

Karen O - I Shall Rise

Miracle of Sound - Lady of Worlds 

Annie Lennox - I Put A Spell On You

Woodkid - IRON (Sara cover)

Peronal Yeezus By Chambaland (Atomic Blonde Trailer Music)

Kesha - Praying

twenty one pilots: Screen

Lemaitre - Higher

Regina Spektor-Blue Lips

Zaz - Les Passants

Katie Costello - Stranger

Arctic Monkeys - Knee Socks

Silversun Pickups - The Pit

If I Apologized - Mirrormask 

August

Les Mis - One Day More

Les Mis - Red and Black

Les Mis - Do You Hear the People Sing

Les Mis - Epilogue

Sleeping At Last - Mars

Hozier - Take Me To Church

Lynrd Skynrd - Freebird

You - Keaton Henson

Radical Face - All Is Well (It’s Only Blood)

Valerie Broussard - Trouble

Erutan - The Willow Maid

Imagine Dragons - Gold

Imagine Dragons - Thunder

Which Witch - Florence & the Machine

Paint It, Black - Ramin Djawadi

Honor For All - Dishonored

Daniel Licht - The Return

Patrick Wolf - Teignmouth 

Ballet Breakup - RvB

WRITTEN FIC

June:

it's warm, this skin i'm living in (SGA; Rodney/John; 1,170 words; When he is thirty-seven years old, John Sheppard thinks about the universe.

it's good to be in love, it really does suit you (KH; Sora/Riku/Kairi; 1,694 words; “We’ve done dangerous before.” Sora shrugs. “Getting a mortgage was dangerous, but we did it anyway.”)

a hazy shade of winter (Stranger Things; Steve/Nancy/Jonathan; 1,863 words; In November, they build a tree house.)

July:

can't deny your appetite (SGA; Rodney/John; 4,031 words; John finds out that there’s a vampire in Atlantis the day after they’ve stepped through the gate.He finds out that the vampire in question is Rodney McKay four weeks later, when they’re all hunkered down in the yawning shadow of some crumbling ruins and Rodney looks at him, his eyes eerily bright in the darkness, sees the blood on John’s face, and says, “Oh.”)

August

caught off guard by you (FFXV; Prompto/Noctis; 1,671 words;  “I just got you back,” Prompto says quietly, words muffled into the curve of Noctis’s neck.)

take me to church (Teen Wolf; Sterek; 3,129 words;  Derek scoffs. “You want to take me back to Quantico.”)

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

June:

N/A

July:

the salt water sting:  wor·ship | noun | the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.

The Flash | Fire Fire [Vid]

August

love has no heart: A mix for those with no hearts.

i believe in you: You love him. The story still ends.

January.

February.

March.

April.

May.

June.

July.

August.