#even if I accepted both of their relationships

[bitchy-craft]

PICK A CARD: how your future spouse will display their jealousy

Hello and welcome to this reading! Here I will tell you how your future spouse would display their jealousy. I hope you enjoy this reading!

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The extended version of this reading can be found on my patreon, the link of which is here

Pile 1:

Your future spouse sometimes finds it difficult to be able to really tell you how they feel and where their boundaries lie; communication isn’t always their strong suit and when it comes to possibly preventing jealousy this is very much the case. They are embarrassed about the fact they feel possessiveness and jealousy over you; they see it as being insecure in your relationship between one another and being insecure about themselves as an individual. Your future spouse has a hard time accepting their jealousy as fact and will therefore not tell you (on their own accord that is) whether they’d wish you did something different or not. It’s not as if the littlest of things make them jealous, it does take a lot for them to actually get to that point, but if they know they aren’t too comfortable with something you’re doing they wouldn’t tell you, even if simply making you aware would solve it all. Your future spouse definitely shows off their jealousy by becoming more alienated from a conversation if not a complete group, they might not talk to you as much as they usually do and you would very early on notice a change in your future spouse’s behaviour.

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Pile 2:

You and your future spouse are going to meet relatively early in life, think about the age in which you are still partying around, a bit arrogant at times, possibly still in school (college/university), a frat-boy kind of vibe even. Your future spouse whenever they are jealous will be loud about it, and to you maybe even proud (it’s not like they’re hiding their jealousy, everyone is aware of how they are feeling whenever they start). Your future spouse will walk up to the person that causes those feelings, they will put their arm over your shoulder and hold you close, they might even mock the person that is causing them to feel such ways in hopes of making them feel little and themselves feel like a big predator (I am aware to some this comes over as cringe). This is not something that will stay with your future spouse forever, not at all, it purely has to do with the fact you two will meet when you are both relatively young, and for their social settings your future spouse acts completely normal. Surely, a bit immature, but understanding given their circumstances.

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Pile 3:

Your future spouse is a pretty calm and collected person. If they are jealous they will not make it your problem, nor will it be something they are embarrassed about. They realise that jealousy is a feeling that is normal to everyone, something very human, and it’s okay to feel such feelings; however, it doesn’t mean you can react in anyway you wish. Your future spouse will make it known to you if they’re uncomfortable with you doing something, but they will do so afterwards in private as to not embarrass you or make a big deal out of something that shouldn’t be remotely close to it. When jealousy sparks in a group of people or in public in general they will try to not make it known to you, or at least, not so much that you will feel incredibly bad about something; because that is not something they wish to achieve. The most your future spouse will do is tighten their jaw and semi-aggressively chew on something to eat; because they are aware you secretly like to see them jealous every once in a while, so hiding it completely is not needed.

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[ohithankyou]

when buck and tommy are more settled, i hope we get both of them teasing each other about how obsessed the other is with them. tommy teasing buck about baking just about la’s entire flour inventory because of how much he missed him when they were broken up; buck pulling out tommy committing domestic terrorism for him at his immediate request even after buck said something hurtful and they left things off in not so great of a way. and those are only two instances. i don’t know. there’s just something very special and healing about seeing two people who never thought they’d find a romantic partner who loves them so wholly and unconditionally being in a relationship with someone where they can tease the other about just how much they love them. how much they want them. how obsessed they are with them, you know? not just accepting the love but completely basking and revelling in it…..gah

[betty-fran]

You believe me like a god, I'll destroy you like I am

Oh. This video, like some special kind of art, captures all this unspoken longing between the two of them. This is actually an interesting thing about TOS - this unconscious sense of doom that always lurks behind the absurdly strange plot, and doesn't really have any specific connection to it, but which becomes completely obvious when it comes to K/S interactions. It's something more personal, intimate, as both Kirk and Spock have such a similar inner tragedy, and while it's only shown to us in bits and pieces, moments from episode to episode, in the big picture, it leads us to understand that they are both much more alike than different. We talk about loneliness, and we talk about shame, and behind it lies a sense of one's own otherness, of the impossibility of being accepted for who you are.

I think the most important thing about the relationship between Kirk and Spock, regardless of how you perceive it, is its fatal absoluteness. There is no other person in the whole world but Spock for Kirk, and Kirk for Spock, who can fill this gaping inner emptiness inside, to fix this tragedy of otherness, rejection, wrongness, who truly sees him for who he is, who can understand, accept him completely without hesitations or doubts. This is why K/S, while not being canon, is so adamant, because if what happens between them is not love in its fullest form, then love doesn't exist at all.

But this unwavering closeness between them turns this story into a tragedy in the plane in which both TOS and AOS lie — there is no one else in each of their lives, no one more important, no one closer than K to S and S to K; only the last half steps remains between them, and if they cross these last half steps — everything in the world will finally fall into place, as it always was meant to be — but that never happens, those half-steps always remain unfilled between them, and even if someone third tries to take that place, it doesn't really work, because only the two of them can take it — there is no one else, never has been, and never will. This is also what Ursula K. Le Guin wrote about in Searoad: Chronicles of Klatsand 

I was thinking how Mr. Spock was never unbuttoned, never lolled, kept himself shadowy, unfulfilled, and so we loved him. And poor Captain Kirk, going from blonde to blonde, would never understand that he himself loved Mr. Spock truly, hopelessly, forever.

We're left with this sense of doom every time Spock looks at Kirk, and when Kirk looks at Spock, never and always touching and touched. This is the reality in which they exist, they can't be apart from each other, but they also can't get close enough to be truly happy, because they can't be with anyone else, no matter how hard they try, and that leaves them in a vicious circle, where their happiness is only half a step away, but they can't take it. This is their real no-win scenario. Not Kobayashi Maru. It's the two of them.

Reading the K/S conflict in TOS more broadly, it's not just about homophobia, it's about the rejection of any otherness, queerness, or neurodiversity that permeates their entire reality. This is what I read in TOS from my own experience as an autistic person. Both Kirk and Spock are too complex personalities to truly fit in and meet expectations, none of them ever really feel like they're part of the society they live in, and the only place in each of their lives where they truly feel like they belong is on the bridge of the Enterprise, next to each other, what really makes the dynamic of their relationship what we love so much, and what we never fully get, because the 23rd century is really no different from the 60s, just as it is no different from today. And that is why TOS is actually a unique phenomenon, because while being a product of the stereotypes and limitations of the 60s, it also poses a real challenge to them (perhaps not always consciously), forcing us to think about what we really want to see our future as.

p.s. @anghraine honestly, I started this blog just to write about how much I enjoyed reading your thoughts about TOS, and because it inspired me to get back to my own journaling

star trek is about. .,the sixties

[chilling-seavey]

She Never Did (gr63)

↳ A/N I just had to post more sub!George because...well...have you seen this man? Who wouldn't want to give him what he deserves and peg him until he's crying with pleasure <3

↳ Summary: George is only missing one thing in his relationship. That one thing is what only you can give to him.

↳ Pairings: George Russell x Fem!Reader (NO use of y/n)

↳ Word Count: 19.2k

↳ Warnings: 18+, smut, adultery, George has an unnamed girlfriend and there is a lot of negative talk about their sex life throughout, fem!dom and sub!George, pegging, use of toys (anal beads, cockring, prostate vibrator, strap), oral sex (m and f receiving), sucking off a dildo and forced deepthroating, rimming, degradation (names like 'slut', 'whore', 'pathetic' etc.), brief mommy kink (only used once or twice), lots of lube, watching in a mirror, using cum as lube, minor CBT (cock and ball torture), (mis)use of a safeword, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, begging, choking, restraining with hands, spanking, slapping, hair pulling, finger sucking, nipple play, overstimulation, unprotected sex, aftercare, angst.

Are you busy? Can I come over?

It was always how it started, those two questions lighting up your phone screen, and they often appeared coincidentally right when you were thinking about him. That wasn’t odd, however, as there weren’t many minutes in the day where you weren’t thinking about him.

You lifted your phone from your desk to reply to George’s text message without need for any second thought, accepting him over and his promise to be there within the hour.

You knew why he wanted to come over—it was really the only reason he had since he was usually preoccupied with his girlfriend or traveling all around the world for races—but his dirty little secret was safe with you. It was thrilling, in a sense, to go behind everyone's backs like that but you were too head over heels for George to think logically and he was too unfulfilled in his relationship—in a way that was a bit too taboo to admit to others—to think of stopping what had already been started. You both kept quiet, he got what he wanted, and you got that shot of dopamine from giving him exactly that. You would kill to please him and when he turned to you as the only person to do so successfully? Who were you to deny him that?

In preparation for his impending arrival, you tidied up your apartment just enough to look presentable: putting away the dishes from the sink into the dishwasher and tidying up your desk that was scattered with papers and work, finally finishing with a re-making of your bed and a dusting to your surfaces. He certainly wasn’t coming over to analyze the cleanliness of your apartment but a small sliver of you wanted to aim to impress him; even if he was clueless to it. 

No more than thirty minutes later, your phone rang and you didn’t even have to look at the ID to know it was the buzzer from the lobby. When you answered it, George’s muffled voice through the cheaply made building speaker system crackled through, 

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Come on up.” 

You unlocked the lobby door from your keypad to let him in. 

It only took him a minute to take the elevator up to your floor and soon he was knocking at your suite door. You had almost been waiting in your foyer for him so his hand had barely dropped from the knock by the time you yanked open the door to reveal him on the other side. He was wearing black jeans and his favourite brown boots under a lined jacket with the hood pulled up over his head as if keeping a lazy disguise for the trek between the parking garage and your front door. 

“Hey.” you tried not to grin too widely as you stepped aside, “Come on in.”

It was a familiar occurrence to George so he was perfectly comfortable coming in and taking off his shoes at the door: a habit that you insisted he take up when visiting you. A few times, his girlfriend had pointed out him taking off his shoes when entering his own home—a prime example of how often he was coming to see you—and he had to pass it off with some blasé excuse each time. 

You took his jacket from him to hang it up in the front closet, leaving him in only a linen shirt tucked into his jeans as he took a few casual paces farther into your apartment as you did so. His eyes lingered on your crowded yet organized desk, littered with your notebooks and dual monitors under a large wall calendar scribed with important dates, meetings, deadlines, and friend’s birthdays. His eyes lingered on February 14th labeled ‘Singles Day’ in pink ink in your gentle penmanship, right beside February 15th labeled ‘George’s Birthday’.

“Do you want a drink or anything?”

Your voice startled him out of his slight distractedness and he glanced back at you as if half forgetting you were there, answering smoothly, “Sure. Whatever you’re having.”

He helped himself to the living room of your small apartment as you opened the fridge to serve yourself and your guest and he sat himself on the small two-seater couch. Space was limited so it was the best you could have. George leaned back and watched you silently as you set two glasses on the kitchen island and started each with a single shot of peach liqueur and then filled them the rest of the way with orange juice. His leg bounced restlessly, socked foot tapping dully against the wood floor. 

The silence wasn’t unusual as you got settled into your odd routine but it wasn’t uncomfortable, just full of an indescribable tension that had your heart racing in your chest. You took the drinks to the living room only a few short steps away and George reached to take one glass from you with whispered thanks. You sat beside him on the modest couch. 

“So,” you started, both of you pausing to take a sip of your drinks before you continued, “What were you up to today?”

It always started this way. The casual catch-up and discussion before the action. 

George sighed as he stared into his glass, lips pursed in brief though before he shared like it was a casual recounting of the morning news, “Not much. I woke up with a boner…didn’t bother telling her though because, you know, what’s the point. Ended up having a wank in the shower. Then she left to get her nails done and I tried to work but I was just staring at my laptop so…thought I’d message you.”

“So she’s gone for the day?”

“Mhm.” George said through his next drink before swallowing and then answering, “Getting her nails done or something and then going shopping, I guess. I just texted her saying I was going for a hike.”

“Shopping.” you repeated with a dull nod before countering, “Nothing of sustenance?” 

George shot you a half-amused side eyed glance, “Sustenance like what?”

“I dunno.” you shrugged innocently, “A job?”

“Not everyone can have two jobs, a degree, a second degree in progress, and multiple promising hobbies on the go at once.” George teased. 

“Hey,” you tisked, “why not? Gives a woman purpose in life. But, I guess shopping is fun too.”

You both shared little smiles through your next sips of your mixed drinks. 

You pried a little more, “How’s it been going with her?” 

George shrugged, “It’s going fine.”

You waited to let him continue at his own pace. 

He took another drink before relaxing back on the couch again, his body angled towards you habitually, “You know how it’s going. It’s the usual: really nice generally but kinda boring in bed.”

“Mhm.” you encouraged him on, leaning forward to set your glass on a coaster on the coffee table so you could give him your full attention. 

“I’ve been putting in more hours on the sim this last week or so…flying out to Brackley more often to visit the factory. She brought it up to me that I’ve been distancing myself from her and I didn’t realize it at first but maybe that’s true.”

You ignored the ache in your chest over the discussion of his girlfriend and their sex life, “Why’s that?”

George’s finger traced the rim of his glass and he sucked on his teeth for a second, trying to hide his bashful little smile over his confession, “Because she won’t give me what I want. And I’m tired of doing all the work all the time.”

“She’s really stupid for that.” you replied, earning his eyes to raise to look at you as you explained, “Why wouldn’t she want to pleasure you the way you want? That’s selfish, in my opinion.”

“She can’t help that she’s not into it. I’m not going to make her do something she’s uncomfortable with.”

You kept your mouth shut, knowing that you’d say something a little too hostile if you didn’t. George sensed this and he sat up again and set his half empty glass on the table beside yours. 

“I’m just lucky I have you then.” he gave your arm a little nudge. 

You smiled softly at him and set your hand on his knee, “Me too.”

“I’m really, really lucky.” he continued softly. 

His eyes weren’t discreet as his gaze dropped to your lips and he licked his own. Your hand rubbed gently over his thigh.

“And work?” you pressed. 

“Fine.” he answered, unmoving, “Car’s good. I’ve been consistent this year…feels great.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah…feels good.” he breathed. 

“Mhm?” you gave his thigh a squeeze and he inhaled sharply. 

There was a pause, taken up by both of you just staring at each other side by side, bodies turned towards each other naturally and gazes drifting between lips and eyes. Who was going to make the first move?

“Did you wash up?” you asked lowly. 

“Yeah,” George licked his lips, “Took a detailed shower right before I came over.”

“Good boy.”

His teeth sunk into his bottom lip, smothering a smile. 

“What do you want to do today?” you asked, sliding your hand along the inner seam of his jeans and your thumb caressed his thigh. 

“Whatever you want.” George answered.

“That’s pretty broad.” you stated. “You have nothing specific in mind that you want?”

He shook his head, his body habitually starting to lean towards you. 

“Do you want me to tell you what I’m going to do? Or just do it?” 

He sounded dazed, as if he was already starting to fall into that perfect little headspace without you even properly touching him, “Whatever you want.”

You set your other hand against his chest to keep him from leaning too close, your faces almost centimeters apart. He licked his lips again and then bit his bottom one as he focused on your face, his hand resting on the seat of the couch behind you with how close he was. 

“Whatever I want?” you repeated, giving his thigh a squeeze.

“Mhm.” he answered with a gentle nod, “You know how I like it.”

“I do,” you agreed as you rubbed his thigh right up tauntingly close to his crotch, “and you remember our safe word?”

“Yes, ma’am.” he replied easily.

“Good boy.” you whispered. 

You eased your hand away from his chest, allowing him to lean in towards you and he did so happily until you set your finger against his lips, preventing him from kissing you. He stared into your eyes. You could smell his woodsy cologne on him with how close he sat and you tried not to make it too obvious with how you breathed him in. Your finger dragged down his lips, tugging at the bottom one gently before watching it fall back into place, and your hand on his thigh wrapped around the waistband of his jeans. 

You taunted him with a whisper right to his lips, “Wanna come to my room so I can treat you like the perfect little slutty boy you are?”

“Yes, please.” he breathed. 

You linked your finger in one of his belt loops and tugged him up from the couch and pulled him after you towards your room, half-empty drinks forgotten on the coffee table. George followed after you eagerly despite the way you led him across the hardwood floor and into your bedroom by the hem of his jeans and once you entered, you left the door wide open behind you. You were all alone after all, encapsulated by the thrilling privacy. 

When you turned to face him again, George tried to lean in to kiss you but you grabbed him by his arms and turned him around to shove him backwards onto the end of your bed. He landed on his back with a small gasp, staring up at you with wide blue eyes as you stood at the foot of the bed proudly. You untucked his linen shirt from his jeans with eager fists and he helped you to unbutton it so you could toss it aimlessly towards the pillows. His body was so perfect to you and your eyes glided over his bare torso as he rested on his elbows for you, your hands dancing down his pecs and over the arches and valleys of his muscle. 

“God, just look at you. You’re so sexy.” you said, hints of longing teasing your voice. 

“Thank you.” George replied angelically with a faint smile at his lips. 

Your hands unbuckled his belt and he stared down his body to watch as you pulled the leather strap out of the metal buckle, his bottom lip between his teeth. When your slender fingers popped the button on his jeans and tugged down the little zipper, George’s mouth fell open slightly in anticipation, flicking his eyes between your face and your hands as you worked to undress him. He lifted his legs up to let you pull his jeans and his underwear down in one smooth motion, dropping them to the ground, stripping him absolutely bare on the end of your queen size bed. He stared at you patiently.

The black silicone ring that was wrapped around the base of his cock drew your attention right away as it stood out against his fair skin and nestled against the trimmed hair that grew there. He was already hard and you wondered how he managed to hide it so well in his jeans the whole way up to your apartment and as you shared drinks in your living room. He certainly wasn’t small. 

“Oh my God, angel,” you exhaled, easily falling into your role that he expected of you, “you already put the cockring on yourself?”

“Yeah.” he licked away his cocky grin, “Couldn’t wait. Knew you’d want it on anyway.”

“Yeah, you’re such a good boy,” you reached down to gently stroke his dick with the tips of your fingers.

He hummed faintly at your touch, his hips trying to push up towards your hand and he groaned at the flexing motion. 

Your palms drifted up his abs as you spoke to him in a sickeningly sweet voice, “Coming all the way over here with that big, heavy dick of yours in that little ring…bet you’re just fucking aching for someone to touch you.”

“Yes, ma’am.” George answered, “Been wanting it all day…been wanting you to touch me all day.”

You pressed your palms against his chest and pushed him flat against the bed, leaving his legs hanging off the end, and you climbed on top of him to straddle his lap. George licked his lips as he stared up at you still fully clothed over top of him and his hands gravitated to your waist while yours caressed his chest and his abs. 

“What were you thinking of when you jerked off in the shower this morning?” you asked.

“You,” he answered, “fucking me.”

“Mhm?” you grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the sheets on either side of his head so you were leaning right over him, “Letting me have my way with you?”

“Yes, miss.” he breathed, eyes locked on your lips. 

“Just fucking every single little stupid thought from your pretty little head?”

“Yeah.” George whimpered faintly, “Please, can you?”

“Are you gonna do everything I say like a good little toy?”

“Yes, miss.” he nodded almost eagerly and you could nearly see his pupils dilating from lust in those blue eyes of his. 

He just looked so sweet underneath you like that, with your hands pinning him down and how he stayed just like that so obediently, that you couldn’t help yourself but lean down to dust a faint kiss over his lips. George flinched in pleasant surprise and just as he went to kiss you back, you pulled away. 

“No-” he squeaked. 

You got off of him, “I want you on your stomach.”

George offered no complaints despite his unfulfilled kiss as he shifted on your bed and adjusted himself to lay face down in the middle, resting his arms under his head as he let his gaze follow you while you undressed to your bra and matching panties. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip patiently with a little grind against your bed as you got yourself situated and knelt up onto the bed beside him. 

What you hadn’t noticed initially was the black silicone shape nestled between his ass cheeks, now on display to you with him on his stomach. Your eyebrows raised and you reached out to gently press your middle finger against the flared base, earning a sharp inhale from the man beneath you. 

“Oh, my good boy, you got yourself so prepped and ready for me today.” you complimented, “You must have really wanted it.”

“Yes, miss.” George exhaled, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow shyly as he kept his eyes peeking over his bicep to where you stood at the bedside. 

“My little slut saving me so much time.” Your fingers rubbed gently over the flat narrow elongated base of the toy between his plush cheeks, “It’s so fucking hot thinking of you alone in your bathroom fingering your asshole to get this little toy to fit in there.”

“It was really tight.” George confessed.

“Bet it felt so good.” you said. 

“Mhm.” George answered into his elbow, “Was grinding on the seat of my car the whole way here too. Felt so fucking good.”

You tossed a leg over his thighs so you were straddling him and your hands rubbed lightly over the curve of his ass, one cheek under each hand. George took a shuttering breath. 

“And how does it feel now?” you pressed. 

“Good.” he mumbled, “I feel full.” 

“Just how you like it, right?”

“Mhm.” he shifted against the mattress a little, “Not as good as your dick though.” 

“Good boy.” you chuckled, gently smacking one palm down against his ass. 

He flinched and groaned tightly. 

“Want a little spanking, angel?” you asked. 

“Yeah…please.” George exhaled. 

You hit him gently with your other hand before soothing the spot with a little rub and then repeating that action on the other side, forcing a tight gasp from his mouth. You could see how he clenched around the toy in his ass with every light spank, urging you to do it again. But then you were just dragging your fingers over the curve of his ass and down the backs of his thighs, before giving him a few light smacks up his inner thighs and he groaned prettily into his arm.

“That’s my good boy.” you cooed, sliding your hands up his spine ever so faintly, raising shivers in your wake back down his golden skin. The few freckles that dotted his skin were familiar to you now and part of you wished your relationship was one that would permit you to kiss each one so lovingly. Instead, you pushed your innermost feelings aside with another spank to his ass. 

“Mm.” George grunted softly at the impact, his body flinching. 

When you pulled your hands away, he rutted faintly against the bed, his face still tucked in the crook of his arm on top of your pillows. 

“Needy little slut.” you tisked, giving him another little swat to his soft ass. 

“Please, miss.” he breathed. 

“Speak up, angel.” you said, “Use that pretty voice of yours.” 

George lifted his head from his arm to word his plea over his shoulder to you, “Please can you touch me, miss?”

With persistent grips, you groped his ass in your palms to pull a moan from his chest. 

“Yeah.” he groaned into his arm as the strong persistence of your hands had the toy inside him shifting. 

“Good boy.” you breathed, massaging his ass like dough in your warm palms. “You’re so fucking pretty.”

Your hands drifted up his spine and you gave his shoulders a little rub before dragging down his back again, rubbing and caressing his toned muscles tenderly. George gave you appreciative little hums as he fell into easy relaxation under your hands and his eyes struggled to stay open with how good it felt for you to rub him down. His body was art to you and you always liked to take a moment to let yourself admire every inch of it before really getting down to the reason why he showed up…besides, he would never complain about a massage. 

You couldn’t help yourself but lean down so you were laying right on top of him, pressing your hips against his ass to push that toy deeper inside him and he groaned tightly, and your lips found his neck in a gentle kiss. George’s shoulder raised up slightly at the shiver your faint kiss rose over his skin and his sharp inhale had you trailing more right up under his ear while your hips ground down against his ass faintly. 

“Oh my God.” he groaned into the crook of his arm, his eyes closed gently. 

“That’s my good boy.” you praised against the shell of his ear and gave it a little nibble just to earn a soft whine out of him. Then you were moving back down his neck and sucking a hickey into his shoulder. 

“No marks.” he reminded you breathily, “She’s gonna see.”

You pulled away from him with a small string of spit connecting your lips to his shoulder, staring down at the faint blushing love bite you left behind, and you rubbed the heels of your palms into his shoulder blades, counting his gentle protest, “I didn’t hear a safe word, angel.”

He didn’t have a chance to reply as you nudged your hips against his doughy ass in a mock thrust, just to make him really feel that toy inside him, and your nails dragged down his back just hard enough to leave ten straight lines blushing red against his caramel skin. George moaned tightly and you leaned back down to kiss his neck again. 

“Turn over,” you whispered against his ear, “I want to look at you properly.”

You sat back from him so he could shift himself over ungracefully onto his back and you left yourself straddling his thighs, sitting yourself down on them once he got situated. His naked body was laid out for you angelically—like a marble statue—and you rubbed your hands up his abs and his chest and then over his broad shoulders, giving them a warm squeeze. George blinked up at you with his bottom lip between his teeth, his arms draped on either side of his head against your pillow, entirely trusting of you, and all you could think about was how your pillow was going to smell like him that night. What a treat. 

“Gorgeous man.” you breathed. 

Your hands slid back down his chest and you pinched his nipples between thumb and forefinger, giving them a little twist. George’s little shuddering breath had you smirking proudly down at him, trailing your fingers daintily down his abs to feel the hard muscle under your fingertips and the precise expression of man that was laid out before you, all for you to touch and worship. 

His dick was insanely hard and standing up in the cool air of your bedroom with the ring wrapped snugly around the base to hold it there. You stared at it for a second, feeling the way it made your insides coil with arousal. You craved it inside you so intensely but it was a feeling you had never been blessed with and part of you assumed that maybe you never will. Pushing aside those melancholy thoughts, you faintly slid your fingertip along the leaking slit in the head of his cock, smirking at how his dick twitched under your feather-soft touch. His tense little hum had you doing it again before suddenly giving a gentle flick to the underside of the tip. 

“Oh-” George squeaked, his whole body flinching at that. 

Not giving into the touch he so desperately needed from you, you moved your legs from the outside of his to kneel yourself between his two, ordering him sweetly, “Hold your legs back for me, angel.” 

George reached down to grab his thighs and he pulled his legs back towards his chest for you, giving you room to stare at his thick cock between his thighs. Your hands rested on the undersides of his knees and pushed them farther apart. 

“Wider, handsome.” you cooed, “Hold them open by your ankles.”

When he obeyed you and kept a snug grip around each of his ankles to really hold his legs open wide, he looked filthy and so submissive like that, just waiting for you to do whatever you wanted to him. He was so spread and nearly bent in half that you had a clear view of his dick, his balls, and right down to his asshole that still held that matte black toy nestled inside it. 

“Good boy.” you praised and, with a gentle knuckle, you caressed his perineum. 

“Oh, please, miss.” George whimpered, his head falling back against the pillow beneath him, “Please touch me, I’m so fucking horny.” 

You didn’t offer him another word before you were leaning down and dropping out your tongue to lick right up the underside of his cock. The hitch of his breath had you smothering your smile behind another slow lick, dragging your full tongue right up the impressive length of his erection until you could taste the hints of salty precum that leaked from the tip onto your tastebuds. 

“Fuck.” George exhaled, staring down his body at you between his spread legs while your tongue caressed the underside of the tip of his cock, rubbing against the most sensitive spots that had his chest rising and falling heavily. 

With your hands resting daintily on his abs, you shifted onto your stomach so you could reach him easier and you pressed a sloppy wet kiss to the head of his cock. It twitched against your lips and you licked at it tauntingly, staring right back into his wide blue eyes up his vast expanse of abs and chest underneath you. You were always cruel with your teasing and he knew this well, but he also knew that the more you teased, the more you would reward him generously for taking it. So he didn’t argue. 

“Such a pretty dick.” you whispered right up against it with your lips brushing the soft skin of the head. You gave it another kiss. “Pretty dick on a pretty boy.” 

George licked his lips. 

You gave the head of his cock a little teasing suck before sitting back on your knees again and he literally whined at the loss of your fleeting contact. He stayed right where you had positioned him even as you leaned over his body to tug open your night table drawer and pull out a bottle of lube. His eyes nearly shone at the sight of it in your hand and the pop of the cap had him licking his lips excitedly and adjusting his hold on his ankles. 

You squirted a generous amount of lube onto the head of his cock, watching it drip down the sides filthily and right to the black silicone ring around the base. Then your hand was wrapping around it and smearing the lube back up the shaft of his cock, just gently enough to pull a shuddering breath from George’s chest. He lolled his head to the side as he watched you but his gaze caught in the mirrored closet doors just to the right of your bed and he gazed into the reflection. Seeing himself spread so salaciously on your bed had his cheeks turning pink but he couldn’t stop staring at it all the same - especially as he had a clear view of you knelt on the end of the bed with your slippery hand wrapped around his aching cock.

“Good boy.” you whispered, stroking him in gentle pumps of your hand until the room was filled with the wet squelch of lube. 

“Ohh God.” George moaned shakily. 

You let your other hand join your right, wrapping your fingers and thumb around the ring that held strong at the base of his dick and you kept him still as your right hand pulled twisting strokes. 

“You have such a big dick.” you breathed, “Can’t even get my fingers all the way around it.” 

“It’s yours.” he whispered, staring intently at the reflection in the full length mirror to his right. 

“Yeah, you belong to me, don’t you, baby boy?” 

“Yeah.” he exhaled. 

You gave his dick a little snug squeeze around the tip to have him gasping lightly as you ordered, “Look at me.”

George tore his eyes away from the mirror to meet your gaze and just as he did, you sped up your hand around his cock in quick flicks of your wrist. His nose scrunched up slightly as you gave him the attention he craved and he sunk his teeth back into his bottom lip with a soft chuckle laced so prettily with a whimper.

“You like looking at yourself, huh?” you taunted. 

George just hummed tightly, staring down at your hand tending to his aching cock with both hands, one perfectly still as the other jerked him off rapidly until his toes were curling in the air where he was holding them. Then you stopped suddenly and his head tossed back with a little grunt, only having to linger in that unpleasant ache for a few seconds before you slowly started stroking his dick with both hands in opposite twisting pumps. 

“Ohh fuck.” he whined and he met his reflection again easily, staring at himself and his expression’s natural waver. 

“You really like looking at yourself.” you reiterated, “Looking at what a perfect, beautiful little slut you are?”

“Yes, ma’am.” George groaned. 

“Yeah, you can’t even look at me when I ask you to…you just gotta stare at yourself in that mirror, huh?” you pressed. 

George turned his head back towards you, “Sorry.”

“Watching me stroke your dick is too much for you, angel?”

George exhaled, “Yeah.” 

“Mhm?” 

Your right hand was focused on the top half of his dick and with his response, you gave him quick little pumps right around the tip that had his head arching back against the pillow with a moan. 

“Oh, baby-” he withered. 

“Good boy.” you praised lustfully. 

The slick sound of your lube streaked hand tending to his cock filled your quaint bedroom and George stared down at it with his mouth agape. He gave you the sweetest sounds that made you wonder how anyone could deny him all the pleasure in the world, just how he wanted it. Just the sounds of him had you wanting to give it all up for him, giving him anything, so long as he kept moaning for you. It was what you thought of and imagined on those lonely nights after he went home to his girlfriend and you were left to touch yourself to the mere memory of him and the scent of his sweat and cologne that lingered on your pillow.

His cock throbbed in your hand under your impressive flicks of your wrist and once his nose started to scrunch up with pleasure, you stopped and pulled your hands right off of him. George inhaled sharply as his head fell backwards again and he groaned lowly to the ceiling at your edging.

“Fuck, I wanna cum so bad.” he spoke shakily. 

“Did you not cum this morning?” you asked, trailing your finger down the shaft of his dick, “In the shower?”

“Yeah, but…” he sniffled, “Barely.”

You cracked a small smile, cooing down to him lustfully, “My poor baby boy.”

George hummed in faint appreciation for your acknowledgment of his treacherous struggle and as both of your hands gently cupped his balls, his hum molded into a soft moan. 

“Poor little angel just wants to cum.” you tisked, massaging him in your hands snugly, “These heavy balls just need some relief, don’t they?”

“Yeah.” George exhaled, readjusting his grip on his ankles as he still held himself spread for you.

“Mhm.” you leaned down and wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock for a little suckle, hollowing your cheeks to make him feel the warm wet confines of your mouth that was only for him to be blessed with. 

“God.” he groaned through his teeth. 

You pulled off him again with a pop and his ample cock fell up against his abdomen, glistening in lube in the light from your open curtains. Without any tissues nearby, you reached for his linen shirt that was laying tossed over your opposite pillow from moments earlier when you stripped him in a rush, and you used that to wipe the lube off your hands. As you did so, you instructed him gently, “Hands and knees now, please, handsome.”

George dropped his legs with a half-relieved sigh and he turned over onto his hands and knees as expected of him, facing your headboard. Dropping the shirt to the side again, you rubbed your soft hands over the curve of his ass and leaned down to kiss one cheek before punctuating the soft act with a hard spank. He grunted tightly at the impact. 

“We’re gonna take this toy out of you now, okay?” you warning. 

“Okay.” George exhaled. 

You grabbed the bottle of lube and squirted another pump right between his cheeks and you watched as the clear liquid trickled down to his asshole and spread itself around the body of the toy that was nestled inside him. With a careful hand, you slid two fingers under each side of the flared base like you were handling a corkscrew and you gave it a gentle twist just to smear that lube around a little more. George’s tight inhale had you caressing his thigh with your other hand and you held him gently as you started to pull at the toy. 

You could see how his muscles stretched around it as the body of the toy was slowly eased out of him and you sunk your teeth into your bottom lip to keep focused on your cautious move. George’s mouth was hanging open as he stared over into the mirror again to watch, letting out a tight groan as the modest size sphere was pulled from his ass. You had anticipated that it would be done and he had just tucked a cheeky little buttplug up there before coming over, but even when you pulled it out, it was still stuck inside. 

“Naughty little slut, look at you.” you chuckled, giving the base of the toy a little teasing tug, “Didn’t even know you had a bigger plug.”

“Ordered one last week just for you, miss.” George confessed behind blushing pink cheeks. 

“You’re such a good boy, baby.” you tisked. “How’d you sneak it past her?”

“Kept it under one of my old helmets in my office.” George answered obediently. “It’s where I keep all my presents for you.” 

“For you.” you corrected him. 

“For me.” he repeated softly. 

“Yeah, it’s all for you, angel.” you reminded him sweetly and gave the toy another little tug. 

George groaned softly and you kissed the bottom of his spine, holding him tenderly as you carefully eased out the second sphere. He was so sensitive and tight and it took a fair amount of effort to finally get the toy completely out of him with a careful hand. 

When it finally came free with a filthy wet pop, George gasped for breath after having held it for the last few long seconds and you stared at how his hole clenched and gaped back at you. You couldn’t help yourself but slide two fingers inside him, slicked up easily in the excess lube that coated his skin and dripped down the toy. The return of the sight fullness had George moaning softly, thankfully, and you kissed his back again before eyeing the anal beads that rested used in your open palm. Three fair sized spheres were equally spread up the narrow silicone base, glistening in lube, and the mere concept of him standing alone in his ensuite bathroom and lubing himself up to slide these in his ass for you had you pulsing with desire for the man at your mercy. 

The anal beads were tossed to the side of the bed, landing on top of his discarded shirt, and you kissed down his spine again as your fingers thrusted into him slowly. George’s reverberating moan had you smiling against his skin and prying apart his flesh with your free hand, giving you room to drop your tongue out and lick around your fingers that were pushing shallowly inside him. He literally withered and his legs naturally spread a little wider, welcoming you in closer. 

You pursed your lips and let a thick dribble of spit fall onto your fingers and your tongue followed after it, swirling it around the snug rim of muscle that hugged your two digits tightly. George groaned shakily and you lapped at his asshole gladly, loving the way he was so vocal and trusting with you. You would give him anything. 

“Fuck, that’s so good, baby.” George exhaled, staring at himself in the full-length mirror to his left, earning a full view of his naked body on hands and knees and your face buried behind him with your hand on his waist.

His breathing alone was erotic and you pulled your fingers out of him so you could have a clear shot at his ass with your tongue, kissing it wetly a few times as your slippery hand dropped down to take hold of his dick between his legs. George let out the shakiest little whine as you started stroking his cock sloppily and let your tongue swirl and pry at his asshole between wet messy kisses. He slumped down onto his forearms against the bed without tearing his locked gaze away from the mirror, wide eyed gaping at how you stroked his dick and smothered yourself between his cheeks. 

“Ohh-” he whimpered, fisting the pillow in his large hands, “Yeah, please-”

You pulled away from him with a taunt, “Does that feel good, baby boy?”

“Yes, miss. Feels so fucking good.” he pleaded. 

Your tongue nudged inside him and he pushed back against your face desperately. You kept a snug grip on the base of his cock, holding his balls in your palm at the same time, to give all your focus on rimming him filthily. The wet slurps that fell from your throat were only dramatized slightly because, in reality, he did make you drool uncontrollably. Your free hand pulled back to spank him again and as you did so, you could feel him clench under your tongue, making you chuckle warmly against him as you pulled him back on your mouth by a snug handful of his flesh. 

“Christ, I need it.” George begged, pushing back on your face some more, “I need you inside me.”

“Mhm?” you taunted against his body, spanking him again, ordering with a muffled voice as you kissed down the backs of his thighs, “Beg for it.”

“Please, fuck me.” he answered easily, the words spilling out of him, “I really, really need you to fuck me. I need it so bad. Been wanting it all day, mommy, please let me take your dick.” 

You dragged your tongue right back up his thigh and over his balls and perineum and you left him with one more wet kiss to his asshole. You could never say no to him. Not when he asked so prettily.

Sitting back from him, you left him with a hard slap across the ass, already starting to see the blush of pink of your handprint left behind on his fair skin as you told him, “I don’t want you touching yourself. Keep your hands flat on the headboard so I can see them.” 

George slid his hands out from underneath him and, resting forward on his elbows, he set his palms against the wood of your headboard. You gave him another little spank before getting off the bed. He watched intently as you reached behind your back to unclip your bra and let it fall to the floor, quickly followed by the drop of your panties. He licked his lips in anticipation and his gaze followed your every slight movement as you opened your bedside table drawer again to retrieve your purple dildo and black leather harness. 

“Oh my God.” George exhaled impatiently as he watched you buckle the harness around your hips and thighs, “That’s your biggest, right?”

“Yeah.” you answered, “Is that okay?”

“Fuck yeah, that’s okay.”

You dropped your smirk at his response as you tucked the dildo through the secure loop in the harness, “Of course you want the biggest one, fucking slut.”

George hid his smile into the crook of his arm with his hands still held against your headboard like you asked. His eyes never left you as you made sure the strap-on was secure and even when you climbed back onto the bed behind him, he stared at you through the mirror. You were awe-inspiring to him. 

The pop of the bottle of lube had his teeth sinking into his bottom lip but the dry squelch that came with the press of the pump wasn’t what was expected. George glanced over his shoulder at you as you shook it and then squeezed the pump again, earning nothing but a little drop to come out onto your hand. 

“Looks like I’m out of lube.” you announced. 

George’s eyes widened and he nearly sounded heartbroken, “No.”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry.” you leaned over him to reach into your open drawer again, “I have a spare.”

He hid his embarrassment over his obvious momentary disappointment into the pillow, “Good.” 

“Just shows how often you come over, huh?” you gave his bum a little pat before unlocking the cap of the new bottle, “Already gone through the bulk size in a matter of a month.” 

“Sorry.” George mumbled, his voice muffled by fabric.

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, Georgie.” you assured him as you pumped a few generous squirts onto the strap and then slicked it up with your hand, “I always love having you over to hang out.” 

George offered a half smile that you didn’t catch at your little joke before he was countering gently, “You’re spending so much money on lube.”

“Fine then.” you compromised as you smeared some around his asshole and slid two fingers inside to get him nice and slick, “Next time, you bring your own bottle.” 

George chuckled softly, “Deal.” 

You grabbed his stray shirt again and wiped your hands off before tossing it and the bottle to the other side of the bed to give you your hands free. George’s flushed skin welcomed your warm hands and you caressed his waist and the flesh of his ass and you slid the length of the strap-on between his cheeks. 

“Get comfy, angel.” 

George slid his arms back underneath him to be propped up on his forearms, bent at the waist, with you between his spread knees. He shuffled back towards you a little so he could feel the slick jelly dildo poking against him. 

“Okay.” he said. 

You held the base of the toy between thumb and forefinger, sliding it teasingly between his cheeks as you asked, “Softer or rougher today, baby?”

“Whatever you want.” George replied, his voice strained with anticipation. 

You tisked at his response, “And yet I’m not the one getting it up the ass.” 

George smiled into the reflection of the mirror and he fisted your pillow underneath his arms as you lined up with his asshole. He took a routine few deep breaths and then you were slipping inside him slowly. Watching the both of you through the mirror, George could also see how his mouth dropped open and his face screwed up at the tight fit and he sunk his teeth into his forearm through the ache that it pushed through his insides. 

“Ah, fuck.” he squeaked. 

“Good boy.” you held his waist snugly to hold him steady as you guided the strap into him deeper, nice and slowly, “You’re so fucking tight, angel. Always makes me really have to push here.” 

When you reached about halfway, you stopped and leaned down to kiss his spine and your hands caressed his waist comfortingly as he adjusted to the size. George groaned and tried to push back on you some more. 

“Aww, you want it that bad, huh?” you chuckled, slapping your hand down against his ass as you sat back on your knees proudly, having him bent over in front of you, “Want me to give you more?”

“Yes, ma’am.” George mumbled. “Please.”

“Yeah? You’re so desperate for dick, aren’t you, angel? Just begging me to push it all the way in and fill your tiny little asshole right up.”

George withered at your words, “Oh God, please.” 

You eased in deeper, painfully slowly, and George’s grip tightened on the pillow as he stared with a narrowed strained expression into the mirror. You spanked him again before speaking, “Baby boy just needs to get fucked properly, isn’t that right? Coming crying to me to give him what he wants…to be filled up and fucked until he can’t think straight…called a pretty boy…darling little angel…my perfect little slut.” 

“Yeah, I’m your slut.” George whimpered, his biceps bulging as he strained against you and pushed his ass back right up against your body so the strap was tucked all the way inside him. His withering moan was heavenly and you slapped your hand down hard against his blushing flesh, a big handsome man turned to putty in your hands. 

“Beg for it.” you ordered. 

You met his eyes in the mirror as he stared at you longingly, a sweet desperate pout on his lips and he gave you a little whine before speaking angelically, “Please, miss, you own me. Please fuck me like your good little whore. I’ll be so good for you, baby, please, I need you to fuck me until I can’t think straight.”

The sharp slap of your hand against his ass made him wince and gasp. 

“Good boy.”

Another spank. 

“Good fucking boy.”

Another. 

George pushed back against you desperately, starting to fuck himself on the strap, “Please, please, please, gimme that dick.”

You gave him one more hard spank before you were grabbing the blushing flesh of his ass in both hands and yanking him back onto the toy. 

“Fuck.” George grunted, his mouth falling open as you started to fuck him slowly. His eyes literally rolled and he dropped his face into the crook of his arm. “Oh, fuck-” 

“There you go, angel.” you spanked him again as you thrusted into him steadily, “This what you needed?”

“Yes, ma’am.” he responded obediently. 

“Good boy.” 

Your hands gripped his waist as you gave him tauntingly slow, deep curling thrusts that had his hands gripping the pillow tightly. George’s trembling little moans had you biting back your proud smirk, pushing into his tense body until your hips were pressed right up against the curve of his ass again and again. 

“Feels so fucking good.” he exhaled. 

“Yeah?” you kept your slow pace going, “But you’re not gonna cum until I tell you to, isn’t that right?”

George groaned as you pushed deeply into him, “Yes, ma’am.”

You couldn’t help but start to thrust into him a little faster, paired nicely with a nice sharp spank to his blushing ass and you stared down at how it jigged with each nudge of your hips against it. George moaned into the pillow and kept himself in perfect place for you, the perfect angle for you to watch the thick dildo disappear inside him completely with each thrust. The lube squelched filthily between you and his skin was shimmering in it, keeping your motions gliding easily no matter how tight he gripped around the strap. 

“Can I touch my cock?” George asked, his words muffled by the pillow. 

You spanked him again, “No.” 

“Oh.” he whimpered in reply, smothering his face into the crook of his arm. 

“Am I not fucking you well enough, angel?” you taunted him with a voice filled with demeaning tones, “Am I not giving you what you want?”

“My God, I want more.” George pleaded. 

You spanked his ass again, “Who’s in charge?”

“You.” 

He squirmed on the bed and spread his legs a little farther apart with a huff. You slapped your hand down on his blushing ass again as you kept your lazy thrusts going, barely giving him enough to cause the bed to creak. In fact, the only sound was the steady squish of the lube and George’s whimpery breaths. 

Finally, 

“Red.”

George mumble of the safeword had you stopping right away and you rubbed your hands up his back comfortingly. 

“I hear you.” you acknowledged, “What happened? Do you want me to pull out?”

“No.” George whined, reaching back to grab your thigh to make sure you stayed tucked deeply inside him, “I just wanna cum.”

“That’s not a reason to use your safeword.” you spanked him harder in punishment, “You can’t use your safeword just because you’re not getting what you want. Last time I checked, you wanted to do whatever I wanted.” 

George groaned heavily into the sheets in frustration, “Sorry, ma’am.”

“Now, was there something serious or were you just being a brat?”

George turned his head and pouted at you through the mirror, “Was just being a brat.”

“Forgot who’s in charge, hm?”

He refused to answer that question. 

“Let me remind you.”

When you pulled out of him, he let out a strained gasp and you left behind his gaping hole that you left like that just to make him ache and squirm. Instead, you got off the bed and walked around to the side, situating yourself to stand right in front of his head and you tangled your hand in the back of his hair to force him closer. 

“Open your mouth.”

George hesitated a moment—knowing what was coming—and he let his eyes raise up your body to your face as he opened his mouth obediently. Drunk on lust, your precision wasn’t great, and the tip of the lubed up dildo hit the corner of his mouth first as you tried to shove it in, smearing lube over his cheek, but he then turned his head slightly to help you get it in properly. The taste of artificial strawberry that came with the unpleasant texture of the excess lube that coated the strap-on made George’s eyebrows furrow and you pulled his mouth down farther around it. He gagged on it when he got only halfway and he tried to pull back but you held his head in place with a secure hand in his hair. 

“Show me what a needy little cockslut you are.” you spoke down to him, “Choke on my dick.” 

He didn’t have much of a choice as you started to thrust the strap into his mouth although he didn’t put up a fight against it either. Instead, from his position on his elbows, George raised a hand up to wrap around the base of the harness to try and control it as much as he could, even as you fucked the wet gags from his throat until he was drooling down his chin. With a furrowed expression of filthy punished bliss, George’s blue eyes raised up your body to your face and you were blessed with the sight of him taking your favourite dildo balls deep into his slobbery mouth. 

“God, fucking look at you.” you exhaled, your pussy absolutely throbbing at the mere sight of him, “You look like a pathetic fucking whore, choking on my strap like a good little toy.” 

George moaned weakly for you, tears brimming in his eyes as you fucked the dildo against the back of his throat and he gagged loudly around it. You pulled it back to give him a bit of a break to catch his breath while you smeared the faux cockhead against his spitty lips as he licked them breathlessly. But seconds later, you were pushing back into his mouth and tugging him down again onto the strap, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip at the gurgling sound he made as you filled his throat with your essence of power. He took over for you as he grew used to the motions and he drooled down the toy with ungraceful bobs of his head. 

As he did so, George dropped his hand from the base of the dildo to set a gentle hand against your inner thigh, only finding your skin damp in the process. He pulled off the strap with a faint wet pop and spoke up to you, “Are you okay?”

Ignoring his innocent question since you knew he had just found out how damn horny you were from the way you were literally dripping down your thighs, you lifted your right leg up off the ground and tossed it over his shoulder, tugging his head closer to the edge of the bed by his hair, “Clean it up.”

George dropped his tongue out to drag messily over your glistening pussy - something he had never done with you before. The act always felt too adulterous to him but in that moment, he was way too horny to care and he was ready to do anything to get you to fuck him again. His tongue had you withering and your body jumped slightly at his warm wet touch, even as he licked up your inner thighs and suckled on your damp skin. You rubbed your pussy against his mouth and George groaned against you, lapping at your folds and suckling on them greedily to taste you as much as he could. 

Still standing at the side of the bed, when you tried to adjust your position your leg behind his shoulder ended up bonking him in the back of the head. You gently rubbed your hand through his hair over the spot with a quick, “Shit, sorry.”

George barely pulled away from you as he replied with a hurried, “That’s okay. That’s okay.”

You stared down at him with his face between your legs and the thick purple dildo standing up tall from your harness and hindering the view off half of his face. But he kept his eyes on you right back with his long lashes fluttering slowly in pleasure as he ate you out hungrily and savoured the taste of you on his tongue. He swore you were the best thing he had ever tasted and he moaned against your cunt with his nose bumping against your clit, ignoring the ache of his neck at the slightly awkward angle just so he could smother himself in you. 

“God, look at my good boy.” you exhaled, your fingers tightening in the back of his hair, “So fuckin’ pussy whipped.” 

George’s eyebrows furrowed slightly at your words, his soft moan against you proof of just how much he was enjoying it, and he shook his head slightly to get his tongue deeper inside you, ready to please. Your heart was racing but you refused to show it, desperate to keep your higher ground above him just how he liked it. 

With your hand in his hair, you pulled him away from your pussy and he separated reluctantly with a wet slurp, peering up at you with glistening lips. You reached down with your free hand to smack his cheek a few times, speaking to him sweetly, “Look at my pretty boy with his face covered in my pussy juice just like he’s meant to.” 

“You taste so fucking good, mommy.” George breathed, licking his lips. 

“Yeah?” you pushed two fingers into his mouth and he let you pry him open so you could bend down slightly and spit against his eager tongue, “Aren’t you a lucky fucking boy then.”

“Yes, ma’am.” he agreed easily.

You took hold of the strap and carefully guided it over his wet lips and over his cheek, rubbing his face with it even as his eyes fluttered closed and he groaned filthily. His lips were pouted and cheeks were flushed pink and you slapped the heavy jelly dildo against his face a few times. 

“Kiss it.” you ordered. 

George puckered out his lips and turned his head slightly to deliver a kiss to the head of your strap and as you rubbed it over his mouth a few more times, he gave it a few more kisses. 

“Open your mouth.” 

He did, and you slid it back into his mouth against his tongue and he gladly moaned around it, starting to suck it off right away. With shallow bobs of his head, he was already starting to gag on it and his fingers wrapped in the leather harness that was snug around your thigh. A single tear trickled down his cheek and he stared up at you longingly, desperate for praise. 

“My pretty boy.” you swiped the tear away with your thumb and held him tenderly by the head, “You look so fucking pretty with these tears on your face from my dick.”

George smothered himself down on it some more, gagging loudly around it, and you scratched your fingers gently through the soft hair at the nape of his neck. 

You asked him sweetly, “Gonna be a good little boy for me and let me fuck your ass?”

He pulled off the strap to answer breathlessly, “Yes, ma’am.”

You took your leg back from over his shoulder so you were standing properly at the side of the bed and you gave his cheek a few little pats before bending down to take his lips with yours in a filthy kiss. George honestly whimpered thankfully at the treat, kissing you back insistently for only a few seconds before you were breaking away from him and returning to your rightful spot at the foot of the bed. 

“Right up on your hands and knees now, handsome.” you instructed while you shuffled up behind him again.  

George arranged himself without complaint and as he did so, you grabbed the bottle of lube again and reapplied some generously to your dildo to make up for the prior application that was wasted by the faux blowjob you just made him give you. Again, his shirt was used to wipe off your hand after you stroked the strap in lube and then you were angling the head right up against his puckered hole. 

“Please.” George exhaled. “Please, I need it so bad, miss.” 

You eased back inside him slowly and he let out a long trembling moan right along with it until you were fully inside him. He then received three hard spanks by your hand before you were grabbing his waist and starting to fuck him again. 

“Ugh, fuck.” he withered, fisting the sheets under his straight arms. 

“Good boy.” you praised, spanking him again, “That’s my good boy.”

George’s wavering moan was shameless and it only grew louder as you tangled a hand in the back of his hair and yanked his head back, making him whine out to the walls of your room. He reached a hand up to smack flat against the wall behind your bed, trying to push himself back into your every thrust, pleasure smeared all over his face. 

You propped one foot up onto the mattress to fuck him deeper, really giving it to him until the bed was creaking underneath you. With another spank, you reached underneath to grab his dick and gave it a gentle squeeze before wrapping your hand around his balls and giving them a little tug. George’s tight grunt from his throat was mixed pleasurably with pain and his eyes screwed up as you literally had him by the hair and the balls. 

“You’re not going anywhere.” you reminded him. 

“No, ma’am.” he answered squeakily, “I’m yours.”

“That’s right. These big, heavy balls are mine.” 

George let out the sweetest moan as he pushed back against you and you gripped him a little tighter, fucking him strongly until the headboard was hitting the wall in steady thuds. The whimpers tumbled from George’s throat and it wasn’t long before he was unable to hold himself up anymore and he slumped down onto his forearms against the bed. You let go of his hair to let his head drop between his arms and you spanked him right across his blushing ass instead, watching yourself fuck him strongly. 

“I know you need this.” you spoke down to him, “I know you can’t live without my cock in your ass.”

“Uh huh.” George whined. 

“You might like pussy but you can’t fucking live without my cock up your ass, huh?”

“No, ma’am.” George agreed easily, his face screwed up in pleasure, “I’m yours. I’m all fucking yours.” 

You spanked his ass hard, “Tell me you’re my little cockslut.”

“I’m your little cockslut. I’m your slut.” George cried out. “Fuck!” 

“That’s right.” you slid both of your hands up his back and pressed them down against his shoulder blades, forcing him to slide flat on the bed so he was bent right over at the waist and his arms wrapped around your pillow to smother his face in it. He moaned more freely that way and you wished you had a mirror in front of him so you could see the way his eyes rolled at how deep you got. 

“Who’s my good boy?” you asked sternly. 

“I am.” George answered shakily, words muffled by the pillow, “I’m your good boy.” 

You held him there by the back of his neck, spanking his ass with your other hand again. The headboard was hitting the wall loud enough that you might have wanted to be worried if your neighbours could hear but your only priority in that moment was to make the man who had your heart cum completely hands free. 

His biceps were massive like that, only flexed more with how he gripped the pillow in his arms so tightly, tensing his entire body so much so that you could feel him getting tighter around the strap that pounded away inside him. You spanked him again just to spur on more of those angelic whimpers that he muffled into your pillow and his knees pressed harder into the mattress to try and escape your overwhelming gift. You only made you grab his balls again in a snug grasp, keeping him in place with a squealing whine out of his throat until he suddenly went silent. His right hand flew out from under the pillow and he slammed it hard against the headboard, wrapping his slender fingers around the white wood until his knuckles nearly blended into the paint colour. 

“Cum for me.” you ordered, still fucking into him at that consistent pace, “Cum for me, angel.” 

George could barely breathe as he let out a strained “ohh-” into your pillow. He shuddered as he came, gaping into the silk pillowcase with the most erotic expression you wished he could have blessed you with a front row view of. His asshole gripped right up around the strap but you just grabbed his waist to help thrust into him steadily through it regardless, especially with how he trembled. 

“Good boy.” you praised richly, “Good boy, Georgie.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” George heaved for breath as he lifted his face out of your pillow and turned to his left to look in the full length mirror again, being met with his erotic pose and flushed tear streaked face. “Shit.” 

You rubbed your hands warmly over his back and left a gentle kiss to his spine before slowly pulling out of him. He audibly winced at the sudden emptiness and he carefully rolled over onto his back to rest against your pillows with his arms draped above his head, his chest rising and falling heavily. His legs were spread slightly and you were positioned between them still, earning the ethereal sight of him draped out naked and blissful on your bed with his skin blushed pink with arousal and streaks of creamy white scattered over his abs and down the shaft of his still-hard cock. That ring around the base was gripping him for dear life and you ran a gentle fingertip around it, watching how it made him flinch with a soft grunt. 

“Beautiful man.” you breathed, licking your lips as your eyes soaked him all in. 

George pushed a hand through his frazzled brown hair and offered you a weak smile in return. You reached for his shirt still tossed to the side of the bed and you used the fabric to wipe up the creamy white mess from his abs and around his dick all while he watched you intently, hands tucked behind his head. He then reached down and carefully slid the cockring off his softening dick with a heavy sigh, “I’m starving.” 

You chuckled lightly and gave his waist a squeeze, asking through your own breathlessness, “Me too. What are you feeling like? Pizza?” 

“Yeah, that sounds so fucking good right now.” he agreed easily. 

“Okay. I can order some.” you offered, “Do you wanna get cleaned up a little in the meantime?”

“Yeah.” George started to make a move to sit up and his light wince had you smiling and dusting a kiss to his shoulder. 

You watched him disappear into the bathroom, leaving you with the slippery cockring in hand to be in charge of washing up the toys while he washed up himself. First, you ordered the pizza so while it was being prepared, you had time to tidy up. You threw out the empty bottle of lube and dumped your now-warm unfinished drinks from the living room and began to scrub the used toys in the kitchen sink. Washed and dried, the purple dildo rested heavy in your hand and you couldn’t help but strap it back onto the harness, letting it dangle straight out, proudly, from your body as you muddled around your apartment in the nude to get things in order. There was some sense of pride and power about it. 

After growing familiar with each other, George felt perfectly comfortable showering at your place and he did so that late afternoon in the privacy of your bathroom. You listened to his muffled voice singing a little off-key in the shower and part of you ached to join him; lather him up in your body wash and feel every crevice of his body under the warm water. So you distracted yourself from your impossible thoughts by picking up his discarded clothes from your bedroom floor and you folded them, placing his phone on your bedside table for him to retrieve later. When you set it down, the wallpaper of his girlfriend stared back at you; some professional photoshoot she did from one of her modeling gigs. You stared at it blankly until his screen went black again. 

The sound of the bathroom door opening had you moving away from the presence of his phone and you looked over as he walked into your bedroom with your towel hanging low around his waist. He sent you a small smile which you returned and he slid past you, his eyes caught by the black leather harness and purple dildo that still sat pretty around your waist. His little smirk was unmissable and he grabbed his underwear from where you had folded it and placed it on top of your dresser. 

“Still wearing it?” he nodded towards the strap.

“Yeah.” you sat on the side of your bed, watching how the jelly dildo wobbled for a moment, and you replied to him, “Makes me feel all powerful.” 

“Try having a dick 24/7.” he teased as he dropped your towel to leave himself bare in the light of the sunset streaming in through your window. “No wonder why men think they can rule the world.” 

“I dunno…” you said, shamelessly watching him pull his underwear up his legs, “I can feel equally powerful as a woman sometimes too.”

“You are incredibly powerful,” George complimented before picking up your towel from the floor, “Sorry about using your towel, by the way. I was covered in lube and I seriously needed a shower.”

You shrugged, “No problem. What’s mine is yours.” 

He sent you a smile on his way back out of the bedroom and you watched him disappear towards the bathroom again. You pressed your fist against your chest for a moment with how strong and burning your heartbeat felt in moments like that where for a second it felt like a hint of domestic life with the man who had your heart and soul. 

Your phone rang to alert you that the pizza arrived and you let the delivery driver into the building so he could bring it to the door. When he knocked, George called out to you that he was going to answer it so you waited in your nakedness in the safety of your room. Seconds later, George joined you with the steaming pizza box in hand, still dressed in only his underwear, and you scooted backwards on your bed so he could join you. 

The two of you made a little pile of pillows against the headboard to rest against comfortably and you retrieved your laptop from under your bed so you could find something to watch on Netflix while you ate. You selected a choice together while George opened the pizza box and pulled his first slice from the pie, holding it carefully with both hands as he leaned back against your pillows. 

“I’ll pay you back for half.” he said through his first bite. 

“No, don’t be silly.” you replied without looking up from your screen, “My treat.”

“You sure?” he asked. “I don’t mind.” 

You turned to look at him over your shoulder, “You’re not paying for me to fuck you.” 

He scoffed, “Well don’t put it like that.” 

You pulled a smile and focused back on the Netflix home screen and your intentful scrolling, “Isn’t she going to wonder why you’re not home for dinner?”

George shrugged, “She’ll be out with friends anyway.” 

You didn’t answer. 

“Why?” he pressed. 

You shrugged and selected the next episode of the show you had started together before resting back against the pillows alongside him, “Just curious.” 

“Did you want me to go?” 

Your head whipped over to look at him quickly, “God, no. Not at all. I love it when you’re here.”

It was hard to hold back the strong emotion and adoration behind your words. George just met your smile for a beat before turning back to his pizza and the opening scene of the TV show. 

He shifted in place slightly and let out a little strained sigh, peaking your attention back over to him. He answered your silent inquiry with a light chuckle and a, “It kinda hurts to sit.”

You licked away a grin and served yourself a slice of pizza.

As the episode progressed and the pizza grew smaller as you ate, you found yourself naturally leaning towards each other on your bed until your heads were nearly resting together. You couldn’t help yourself but glance over at him discreetly, catching him watching the show so intently that his eyebrows had the slightest furrow to them. He looked so cute like that and you could have stared at him for hours with just as much interest as any TV show you played. You just craved him so strongly in every way possible. 

His low chuckle drew your attention to your laptop again, noting the steamy long-awaiting kiss shared between the two main characters behind the swell of emotional music. George tisked, “Took long enough.”

You couldn’t help yourself, “Too bad he hasn’t divorced his wife yet.”

George countered casually, “He’s creating a whole new church to do so, that’s how dedicated he is for this woman. Give the guy some time. You can’t create a whole new religion in an afternoon.” 

You wondered if your discreet meaning had just gone right over his head and you analyzed his face as he watched the progression of the scene at your side. Sensing your stare, he turned to look at you too. 

“What?” he asked. 

Your mind swirled with all sorts of sappy confessions of your undying love for him, but the only thing that made it past your brain’s filters was a messy unimportant discussion question of, “Do you think Henry VIII ever took it up the ass?”

George snorted, “Maybe.”

“Anne Boleyn here seems like a boss bitch, to be honest. I could see her pegging the king.”

“Would you?”

“Peg the king?” you raised an eyebrow in his direction.

George looked back at you, “Mhm?”

“Only if you were the king.”

His lips perked up at the corner in a cheeky little grin at your response and he reached over to grab the purple dildo that was still secured around your waist and he jokingly aimed to put you closer by it while his face leaned in towards yours. You gladly let him kiss you, feeling those same swells of emotion that had been encapsulated in the music of the scene you had been watching. Leaning into each other, you raised your hand up to slide around the side of his neck to keep his lips on yours as you shared slow passionate kisses that filled your insides with butterflies. 

You turned towards him a little more, determined to savour the feeling of his kisses as they were often few and far between - especially unwarranted like this - and yet they were your favourite part of your little situationship. You could taste the pizza on his tongue and the heat from the shower still lingering on his skin and although the scent of his cologne was now mostly replaced with the scent of your own body wash, it only made you realize how much better it smelt on him. You were completely enamoured with him. 

Greedily, your hand slid down his bare chest and around his waist, feeling the smoothness of his skin and the tension of his muscles with his body turned towards you the slightest amount. George was leaning back against the headboard and plentiful pillows comfortably, letting you lead your sloppy kisses that took precedence over the scene still playing on your laptop. He pulled away from you to kiss down your chest instead and his large hand guided one of your breasts to his mouth so he could take your nipple between his lips. You shifted beside him to give him a better angle and he tongued at your nipple and sucked on it until it was hard, humming pleasantly against your chest before pulling back with a wet pop. 

“Haven’t had enough, have you?” you breathed, sliding your hand into the back of his hair as he took your opposite nipple in his mouth for a quick suck and then he peppered impatient kisses up your neck.

“Mm mm.” he shook his head faintly and nipped at your earlobe to make you shiver. 

You pulled away from him for a moment just long enough to pause the episode and then close your laptop and set it and the pizza box back on the ground all while George adjusted himself with a giddy smile. When you turned back to him, your hand drifted up his leg and over the front of his snug briefs to rub the obvious shape of his cock hidden underneath while your lips moved in to meet his again. He moaned softly into your mouth at your teasing touches and right away was making a move to push his underwear down his legs. Permitting it, you let him drop them off the side of the bed before he was grabbing the strap again and pulling you closer by the harness. 

Your lips met again in messy tongue-led kisses and you wrapped your hand around his semi-soft dick to help him get harder, gently caressing the underside of the head with the pad of your thumb. He shuttered at your touch and held you close by the back of your neck, naturally spreading his legs wider for you. 

“Good boy.” you praised into his mouth between passionate kisses, “I’m gonna make you feel so good. Leave those pretty legs spread for me.” 

George licked his lips as you pulled away from him and he bent his legs up and spread them wider on your bed while he watched you shift over to your bedside table and grab the bottle of lube again and something from your drawer. You set the clean prostate vibrator between your lips while you popped the cap on the bottle of lube and squirted some onto your fingers under the impatient eye of the man with you. He stroked himself lazily and you offered him a generous squirt onto the head of his cock to help him out…his gentle hum was thanks enough. 

You then smeared your fingers around his asshole, reapplying the lube that had been washed away in the shower, and he winced faintly at the feeling of your warm touch against his sensitive muscle. It was still slightly gaping from your previous fucking and you only slid the tips of two fingers inside just to make sure he was lubricated sufficiently. George’s soft whine was impatient and angelic and you pulled the silicone vibrator from your mouth with your free hand so you could lean down and capture his lips in a kiss instead. He reached for you adoringly, still stroking his dick as he held your lips on his with his other hand, kissing you like his life depended on it and it made you dizzy with lust. You wanted him forever. 

After a few moments, you pulled away from his lips to focus on your goal. With another pump of lube to the end of the vibrator, you smeared it in enough to cover the ribbed shaft and then angled it carefully against his glistening hole. George shifted a bit farther down against the pillows and spread his legs a little wider, watching with his bottom lip between his teeth as you slowly eased the toy inside him. His muscles hugged the silicone erotically, stretching over each ridge and curve until it was tucked securely in place. The flared base had a short arm that reached along the length of his perineum and nestled right behind his balls so when you turned it on, the steady vibrations covered him completely. 

George’s face literally withered in pleasure, eyes rolling and mouth falling agape, and he stared up at you with that lustful expression that had your insides fluttering at the mere sight of him. Your one finger rested against the base to make sure the vibrator was secure in place, watching his physical reaction from your position on your knees between his spread legs. 

“How's that?” you asked. 

“Intense,” George exhaled, “Good.” 

Glancing down to his hand still wrapped around the base of his cock, you stated, “You’re getting really hard.” 

As if that were a reminder, George gave himself a few lazy pumps, “Yeah.” 

You licked your lips, staring at his dick shamelessly as you held the vibrator in place, going completely heart eyes over the sight of how big it was in his large hand, glistening in lube and already pearling precum from the swollen head. With a nudge to his wrist, you got him to let go so you could have a clear view of his entire cock and how thick and heavy it looked, angled right up against his abdomen. You just wanted it so badly. Honestly, you could have cried. 

George squirmed slightly from the vibrations inside him and you gave his dick a little pet with the palm of your hand, earning a soft moan from his chest. The pad of your index finger rubbed taunting just under the head in that sensitive spot and his dick flinched naturally from your feather soft touches. 

“I want you inside me.” you breathed. 

George hummed tightly, answering just as quietly with a blissful waver to his voice, “We can’t.” 

“Why not?” you pressed. 

“You know why not. I can’t risk anything.” 

“She won’t know.” 

“She might.”

Still gently rubbing his cock with your fingertips, you pressed the button at the bottom of the vibrator with your other hands, making it increase in intensity. George’s head dropped back against the pillows with a tight groan, his legs trying to curl up towards his chest if it weren’t for you sitting pretty between them. 

You weren't done trying, letting your feelings for him cloud your judgement and the unwritten rules of your pre-agreed upon situationship. “What’s she gonna do? Whine to her friends because she can’t satisfy her boyfriend so he found someone who could?” 

George groaned your name through a sigh. 

“What?” you answered innocently, loving the way he writhed against your bed just to feel more of those vibrations in all the right places. You had him right where you wanted him, under your complete control, and maybe you got too into that, taking his moment of submission to get a step above him, “Bet she doesn’t even know how to treat you…how to really take dick. She probably just lays there.” 

He repeated your name firmly as if trying to get you to stop but his tone sounded much more pleasurable than annoyed thanks to the toy tucked inside him. 

Your finger trailed down the length of his dick slowly, taunting him, “I’m right here, I could just sink down on your big thick cock so easily.”

He whimpered your name again, sinking his nails into your thighs faintly with his legs spread wide on either side of you. 

“Your poor dick just wants some attention, look at him, he’s so swollen and angry.” you pouted innocently as you wrapped your hand around it to lift it up off his abdomen and gave him a few faint strokes. “So yummy.” 

He groaned your name shakily once more. 

You stroked his dick slowly and tauntingly, drifting your gaze up to his face again to note how his expression withered from the vibrator still buzzing away inside him, his cheeks pink and eyebrows furrowed prettily. With a sultry smile, you asked him, “Doesn’t my pretty angel want to know what a good pussy can feel like?”

“Ohh-“ George whined, staring right back at you from where he was draped against your bed and plentiful pillows. 

“My perfect boy deserves a real woman. Gotta know what one feels like at least once in your life.” 

“Mm-“ George’s hips ground upwards and in doing so he thrusted into your hand the slightest bit. He grabbed your thighs tighter, especially as your hand started to twist your motions over the thick shaft of his cock. His eyes were a little glassy with lust and he kept licking and biting his lips impatiently for more of that addictive pleasure. 

“Don’t you wanna feel how tight and warm my pussy is for you?” you asked softly, pulling his hand between your legs and under the purple dildo and leather harness so his fingers grazed over your wet folds, “I’ll let you fuck me raw so you can feel every little inch of it. All for you.”

“Oh my God.” George breathed shakily, his voice trembling, “You’re so wet.”

“Thanks to you.” you replied smoothly. “You wanna feel it? Want me to sink down on this perfect fucking cock of yours so you can get a taste of what a real woman can do?” 

George literally whimpered at the mere thought, trying to keep himself composed despite the intense vibrations that were still sending warm shockwaves through his body. He gaped up at you behind furrowed brows, digging his heels into the mattress to try and work through the pleasure that was building inside him. Still stroking his cock with one hand while the other forced him to get a feel of how soaked and ready you were for him, you didn’t let up no matter how much he groaned and squirmed, even when he reached his free hand to try and grab your wrist to slow you down. 

“Answer me.” you ordered, stroking his cock faster. “Yes or no? Do you want my pussy?”

“Yes.” George squeaked, “Yes, mommy, please, I want it.” 

You shoved his hands away from your body completely and he held them obediently in mid-air as you tossed one leg over his lap and then his other and he watched you with wide eyes, grinding down against the bed as the vibrator hit all the right spots. With a gentle slap to his cheek, you then shoved two fingers in his mouth past his parted lips and he gagged around them slightly but didn’t protest. 

“That’s my good fucking boy.” you praised through your teeth. “Letting me use you like my little toy, huh?”

“Yes, ma’am.” George spoke through your fingers and his hands took to your hips, his once obvious hesitation was replaced with horny impatience as he tried to pull you down on him. 

“Such an impatient little slut.” you tisked. “Hold your dick for me and beg for it.”

George reached down to grab hold of his cock and he angled it up for you as you hovered above him at just a distance for him to graze the head between your slick lips. It was hard to stay focused with the vibrator still buzzing inside him but he kept wanting more, more, more…so he obeyed you, speaking his desires through your fingers still in his mouth, “Please, miss, I want your pussy. I want your perfect little pussy on my dick so fucking bad. Let me be your toy…wanna be a good boy for you.” 

The moment you sank down enough to let the head of his cock slip inside the tight confines of your cunt, his eyes literally rolled. He moaned heavenly through your bedroom, drooling around your fingers, and he grabbed your waist to try to slow you down. But you were a woman on a mission after having waited so long for that exact moment that you didn’t have an ounce of patience. He was so big that the stretch ached between your legs and over your hips and you had to pull your fingers from his mouth to set your hands down flat against his shoulders to support yourself through it, digging your nails into his toned skin. 

“Oh my fucking God.” George whimpered, peering down his naked body to watch how his dick disappeared inside you, “You’re so fucking tight.”

“What do you say?” you asked sternly as your ass met his thighs and you were stuffed full of him, pinching his cheeks in your hand.

“Thank you, miss.” George responded shakily. 

Drunk on your unbelievable ability to convince him to engage in such adulterous acts, you used the leverage from his shoulders to start to bounce on his lap. His hands found your waist again with a tight groan that fell from his chest and his face screwed up in ecstasy. 

“Thank you.” he repeated, strained and pretty. 

With the harness still strapped securely around your hips, the firm jelly dildo bounced in the air in time with your motions and the clap of your skin against his was arguably the best thing you had ever heard. You swore you could feel the reverberations of the vibrator up through his balls and cock and deep into your cunt but maybe that was just you trembling with adrenaline and lust, overwhelmed with the reality of your situation. He was so big inside you and the balance between that and the relief of finally getting what you wanted brought honest tears to your eyes.

He sounded even better when you rode him than when you pegged him: a beautiful symphony of lustful groans and adoring whimpers and intense breaths that only showed your hold over him if nothing else. 

He was a mess of ‘oh my God’ and intelligible sounds that had your pussy gripping tighter around him naturally, forcing his head to toss back against the pillows as he gripped your hips pleadingly and dug his nails right into your skin. The sharp pinch of his grip only spurred you on, desperate to make him completely lose himself to you like he never had before. It seemed to be working too because soon he was growing quieter and his face was spread with ecstasy, barely able to keep his eyes open, and you could feel his cock throbbing inside you. 

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum.” he whimpered. 

“Already?” you taunted, sliding a hand around his throat to pin his head down against the pillows to choke him a little, keeping up your dizzying bounces, “Filthy boy. Wanna cum inside me?”

“Oh, God, yeah, can I?” he withered as if he had been hoping for it but afraid to ask. 

“Of course, baby boy. I’d love for you to cum in me.” you cooed, “Show me who I belong to. Fill me up.”

George’s hands on your hips yanked you right down on him and held you there, his biceps bulging as he held you against your attempt to keep going but he certainly was stronger than you. With a trembling moan and eyes rolling with pure euphoria, George ground up against you slightly to cum as deep as he could into your dripping cunt. His entire body shuttered and the shower of moans and gasps that spilled from his lips was intoxicating to you. 

“Good boy.” you praised him loudly through his orgasm, unable to hide the beaming grin that spread across your face at the feeling of the first spurt releasing inside you, “Good fucking boy, gimme all that cum. Every last fucking drop is mine.”

“Yes, mommy.” George whimpered tightly, “It’s yours.” 

The buzzing toy was still tucked inside him and, now incredibly sensitive, George winced intensely at the sensation. You reached behind you to get between his legs and turn it up one more notch. 

“Oh shit!” George squealed out, trying to push you off of him as he writhed against your bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” 

“Is that too much?” you taunted. 

“Please, miss, I can’t take it!” George stumbled out, how voice wavering and stumbling over his words, falling into a pathetic mess of whimpers and cries. 

“Oh, my pretty angel can’t take all this pleasure, hm?” you lifted up from his lap, letting his dick slip out of you and fall against his thigh, glistening in white cream and your own arousal, and you grabbed his hand to force him to touch you. Your body dripped his cum right back out and onto his fingers and then you wrapped his hand around the dildo still strapped to your body to start to slick it up in his own natural lubrication. 

“I can’t.” George panted through a tight groan, “I fucking can’t, baby.”

You slid off his lap and back between his spread and trembling legs and you grabbed his thigh to flip him over onto his stomach. He moved for you like he weighed nothing, perfectly content in doing whatever you wanted of him even when it felt like so much that he was close to tears. Laying flat on your bed, George ground against your mattress as his arms encircled your pillow again, smothering his moans into the fabric as his legs trembled. You spared him with a click of the vibrator to turn it off and he was gasping with relief to the walls of your bedroom, heaving for air. But you worked quickly to slide the toy out of his ass and barely gave him a second to process the sudden emptiness before you were stuffing him with the strap again. 

George literally mewled at the feeling.

With your legs straddling his, he was kept nice and tight and right away you were starting to thrust into him messily. He whimpered generously and you leaned down over top of him to grab his wrists and pull them out from under your pillow so you could pin them down on top instead, holding him down while your hips shoved roughly against his ass in rhythmic strokes. 

“Oh God.” George whined loudly, bunching his hands into fists from where you had them held. 

The dildo was lubed up in his own cum and you fucked it back into him roughly in long deep strokes that had his eyes fluttering shut in filthy bliss as you fucked the moans from his chest. You were going so hard with it that the bed was starting to hit the wall in time with your thrusts and George’s moans were only getting louder and tighter. 

“Who do you belong to?” you asked strongly, biting your lip at the feeling of his cum leaking back out of you and down your inner thighs. 

“You, mommy.” he answered easily. “I belong to you!”

“That’s right.” you spoke down to him, your voice laced with taunting lust. “That means I can show up to your house in the middle of the night and rip your fucking clothes off and fuck you any time I want, isn’t that right?”

“Fuck.” George groaned pitchily at the threat, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Yeah?” you spoke through your teeth and gripped his wrists tighter, really forcing yourself to fuck him harder with precise curls of your hips in time with each hard jab, “My little slut just wants me to use him whenever I want?”

George cried out shakily, barely getting out an “uh huh” without his voice breaking. His eyes couldn’t stay open and part of you wished you could have a better angle to see his face as you fucked him flat into your bed. He only got louder and although he tried to smother his noises into your pillow, his pleasure was obvious.

“Jesus Christ—” George sobbed out, “You’re hitting my fucking prostate dead fucking on, baby…shit!”

“That’s my good boy.” you smirked to yourself proudly, “Give into it for me. I want you to cum again.” 

George’s large hands flexed stiffly from where you had his wrists pinned down, his fingers stretching out like starfish in need of something to grip onto. 

“Come on, angel, you got one more in you, I know it.” you encouraged, “Show me who really owns you.”

“You.” George choked, quickly followed by some incomprehensible noise that might have sounded to your neighbours like he was in pain but you knew—better than anyone—that it stemmed from nothing but pure, raw, overstimulated pleasure. You had been the only one to ever make him make noises like that after all. He rushed out some incomprehensible sentence in which the only word you could make out was ‘cum’ and then seconds later he was tensing right up around the strap and falling perfectly silent. 

“Good boy.” you praised strongly as he rutted himself against your bed desperately, undoubtedly ruining your sheets in yet another round of cum but you certainly didn’t mind. 

George was gasping and writhing underneath you as you slowed down so as to not overwhelm him too much. It was that balance of pleasure and pain he liked but you never wanted to overstep any possible boundaries. This was close, however. 

You leaned down to kiss his neck and his shoulder and you let his wrists go so you could sit back on your knees and then slowly pull out of him for the last time that evening. His little hum when you left him empty had you caressing his ass tenderly and you kissed the bottom of his spine comfortingly. 

“Such a good boy for me.” you whispered, running your hands up and down his back lovingly to help ease him out of that intense session, “How was that?”

“Crazy.” George exhaled and then let out a tired laugh, “Fuck.”

“Done for today?” you asked. 

He made a move to roll over so you shifted off of him to let him but he grabbed your arm so you couldn’t go far, making one simple request with a tug of the harness around your waist, “Take this off. I want you to sit on my face.”

Your eyes widened in surprise but you didn’t question it, hurriedly unbuckling the leather harness to drop it and the attached dildo to the floor as George scooted farther down your bed on his back, giving you room to soon toss a leg over his head. 

“You sure this is okay?” you asked quietly. 

He was still breathless from your very eventful afternoon but he nodded and grabbed your thighs to guide you down onto his mouth, promising, “Very.”

His eager tongue met the soft skin of your inner thighs first and he licked up the droplets of his own cum that were leaking down, adding open mouthed kisses to the mix just to have you shuttering at the teasing touches of his mouth. He brushed his nose over your pussy first and then guided you a little closer to glide his tongue right between your folds, ending with a little suckle to your clit. You were well past turned on after a full afternoon of pleasing him and ignoring your own ache that he barely had to touch you and you were already so responsive - not to mention that this was the first day he had ever touched you like this. Usually it was always all about him. 

Your hands grasped the headboard with a shaky sigh, almost afraid to look at him as you chose to stare at the wall in front of you instead. George’s tongue helped itself to your body and he started to eat you out sloppily, right away encouraging you to start to rock against his mouth slightly. He moaned against you and pressed his fingers into the flesh of your thighs a little tighter to settle you farther down on his face. You were nervous that you were going to hurt him if you put too much weight on his head but he didn’t seem to care. He seemed insistent that he be taken up entirely by you and your body. 

“Fuck.” George had to pull back to breathe for a second, still breathless from his catered evening, and he kissed your thighs again before speaking up to you, “You still taste so fucking good—maybe even better—with my cum dripping out of you.” 

“Holy shit.” you withered. You could dish the dirty talk but taking it was new and it turned you into a flustered mess. You had only imagined him saying such things to you that now, having it as reality, felt so surreal. 

You finally permitted yourself to look down at him between your legs as he returned his mouth to your pussy, swearing your eyes molded into the shape of hearts at the sight of his big blue eyes staring right back up at you. The very same eyes you fell a little too hard for. It made your stomach erupt in nauseating butterflies and your hand dropped to his soft hair. 

“Oh my God, George.” you moaned greedily, grinding on his face slightly and your hand in his hair aimed to pull him closer. 

He took your hint and tugged you right down on his mouth, nearly smothering himself in your cunt as he ate you out so heavenly and stared right up into your eyes above him. You couldn’t help the moans that tumbled from your lips, slivers tearing up your spine as you felt that unmissable warmth coiling inside you. It had barely been a minute and you were already so close—all too aroused by him and his perfect body to need any further edging. 

The moment that wave of pleasure tore through you, you dropped your second hand from the headboard to grab his hair too, crying his name out perfectly to the walls of your bedroom that wasn’t unlike those nights you found yourself alone. Now, however, he was there to be blessed by the sound of your voice crying out for him lustfully. Oh God, it made his heart race. He knew he was fucked from that moment on. Metaphorically. You had already covered the physically well before. 

When you finally rolled off of him and slumped backwards against the pillow lined headboard yourself, you were breathing heavily right alongside him, letting the silence of your apartment linger between you. Although your curtains were still open, the sun had long since set and you were restored to the faint light of your bedside table lamp, the darkness of the rest of your apartment leaking through your half closed bedroom door. Neither you nor George really knew what to say after all of that. 

Instead of talking about the lines you crossed, you returned to hostess mode, looking over at him laying flat beside you to ask, “Did you need a towel or something? Water?”

He cracked a small smile at your generosity and he looked up at you in return, his hands resting on his bare chest, “Water would be great. I can just use my shirt you apparently claimed as a cum rag earlier to clean myself up.”

“Sorry.” you chuckled. 

He just gave you a little wink as you slunk off the bed to help yourself to the kitchen. You walked through your modest apartment comfortably in the nude and navigated the kitchen by the light of the city lights leaking through the balcony doors in the adjacent living room. When you returned to your bedroom with two glasses of water, George was already back in his underwear and getting himself under the sheets of your bed. 

“What are you doing?” you asked teasingly as you passed him his glass. 

He thanked you before answering, “I wanna cuddle.” 

You would never say no to that. 

“Let me pee and wash the toys and then I’ll come back.” you said. 

“No,” George pouted and reached for you, linking his finger in yours, “Wash the toys in the morning.”

“Okay.” you didn’t need convincing. You leaned in to kiss his nose and then hurried out of the room to the washroom. 

It didn’t take you very long—mostly because you had the boy who had your heart waiting for you in your bed—and soon you were back in your room and pulling on a pair of underwear and stepping over the plentiful used toys that littered the floor before returning to him. George’s water glass was empty but before you could ask if he wanted more, he was holding up your blankets to welcome you in without a complaint. Smiling, you nestled yourself into bed with him and he wrapped you up in his arms. 

Cuddling after hooking up wasn’t new to either of you but it felt heavier this time…like it carried a weight that neither of you could quite place. With your head on his chest, you listened to his strong heartbeat and caressed your thumb over the smooth skin of his waist, holding him close for as long as you were able. 

George interrupted your quiet moment with a stroke of your hair and a quiet, “So…remind me to buy you a new duvet.” 

“Why?” you asked. 

He reached down to pick up the fabric a bit farther down between thumb and forefinger, showing off the messy white stain on the royal blue material, “I kinda…came on it.” 

You snorted and just cuddled closer to him, “That’s okay.”

“It’s okay that you have my cum stain on your bed for all eternity?” 

“Yeah.” you giggled tiredly, “Reminds me of you. And how I am the only one who can make you cry from pleasure.”

“Oh psh,” George scoffed, “I did not cry.”

“Almost.”

“Almost.” 

Under the blankets, you draped one of your legs over his as if needing to feel him as close as possible, making sure he wasn’t going to leave just yet. He had someone to go home to but once he walked out your door, you would be terribly alone. You hated when he left.

A few quiet minutes passed as you both just appreciated the silence and the comfort of each other to ease you out of your tiring afternoon. It was arguably your favourite part of your situationship because it was the time when you could close your eyes and pretend that what you had was real and not just meaningless sex. Even still, despite the selfishness that filled your heart, you knew the real divide of right and wrong. 

“You can’t fall asleep here.” you whispered into the dark room. 

George sighed softly, confessing sleepily against your hair, “I don’t wanna go.” 

“I don’t want you to go either.” you replied. 

“Let me just stay for a few more minutes?”

You leaned your head back against his shoulder to dust a kiss to his jawline, replying easily with a gentle, “Okay.”

Those few more minutes turned into a few more hours and soon you were blinking awake to the bright light of the morning seeping in through the edges of your curtains, not remembering how or when you actually fell asleep. The first thing that you processed was the weight around your middle and the breath against your back and your heart dropped at the realization that George had fallen asleep in your bed and thus never went home to his girlfriend. Your immediate heart drop stemmed from your instinctual compassionate nature but once your heart took over from your brain, you were filled with a little giddy warmth of realization. He had stayed the night…and he had cuddled you all night. 

Even now, with the rise of the sun and the start of a new day, he was spooning you closely and honestly taking up more than half of your bed as if he had chased you to find your body against his again. It was the most glorious feeling to wake up next to him and you truly wished you could have stayed there forever. He was yours in that moment. That’s how you wanted it to stay. 

You lingered there for a little while longer, drifting in and out of a light sleep,  before you had to get up. Logically, you knew it would make the most sense to wake him up but, selfishly, you didn’t want to. You wanted him to stay as long as possible. So you carefully slid out of his arms in exchange for one of your pillows for him to cuddle and he barely stirred at the change, merely sighing in his sleep and tugging the pillow closer. He looked so pretty in the faint morning light and you couldn’t help but brush a hand through his hair and leave a gentle kiss to his head. 

The illumination of his phone screen from the opposite side of your bed curiously drew you over and you peeked at his notifications, seeing dozens of missed calls and double that of text messages from his girlfriend. You silently flipped his phone face down and then slunk out of the room, grabbing your robe before closing the door almost all the way behind you.

You busied yourself with making breakfast, choosing pancakes with fresh fruit to really treat him for the morning after…and also knowing he was going into a long day ahead with his accidental sleepover from last night going to bite him in the butt when he returned home. Part of you wished you could be a fly on the wall for that anticipated fight but at the same time, you were glad to stay away. 

It must have been the smell of breakfast that finally lured George out of bed and into the kitchen and he came out of your room with a panicked expression on his face as he buckled up his jeans in a half hurry. 

“I fell asleep,” he stated the obvious.

“We both did apparently.” you replied, tending to the fresh batch of pancakes sizzling in the pan on the stove. 

“I’m actually fucked. What am I supposed to tell her?” 

There was obvious stress in his voice and you couldn’t help the slight ache in your heart from seeing where his priorities lay. There you were, making him breakfast after a passionate afternoon and evening the night before and the first thing he could say to you was in concern about his girlfriend. You shouldn’t have suspected any differently…you shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up. 

The question was more rhetorical than anything and George hurried past the kitchen to the bathroom to freshen up quickly. You swallowed back your tears and turned off the stove, dumping the last of the pancakes onto the serving plate, leaving the rest of the uncooked batter to thicken and be forgotten about on the counter. Just in the way you felt forgotten by him. 

When he emerged from the bathroom, he was making a beeline for your bedroom again to finish getting dressed, not even sparing you a glance on his way. Every little reminder that you were his second choice no matter the magic that you thought you shared the day before nearly killed you. You stayed in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter and trying to ignore the flashbacks from the previous afternoon as you stared at the spot where he had begged you to fuck him, how he promised you through his bliss that you were all that mattered to him. Lust made people say ridiculous things. 

George returned to the kitchen, completely dressed with his ruined shirt in hand, “Can I borrow a shirt to wear home?”

You lingered in place, knowing that if you made any move to talk or even take a step, you might have cried. The stress on George’s face faltered into more of a worry as he stared at your flushed expression and sad eyes. 

He took a step towards you, “Are you okay?”

You took a small breath and then spoke, “I…made you pancakes.”

His expression softened in realization of his own edge that morning and he walked over to you with a sigh, setting his soiled shirt on the island so he could have both hands free to gently take your wrists, “I’m sorry.”

You stared at his bare chest, not wanting to look him in the eye. 

“Hey,” George slid his hands up your arms and gave your biceps a little squeeze, leaning his head down slightly to try and get into your line of vision, “what’s wrong?”

You sniffled and looked to the side, your voice flat, “Nothing. I can wrap up some pancakes for you to eat on the drive home if you want.”

When you tried to slip out of his grasp, he wrapped an arm around your middle to stop you from walking away. 

“Talk to me. What’s got you all upset? Did I do something?” 

His voice was so soft and gentle and it ripped at your heartstrings with each syllable and you scrunched your eyes shut to try and keep yourself composed. George’s hand rubbed tenderly over your arm, staring at you so insistently with this concern in his gaze that you almost believed. 

“You have to go.” you said as strongly as you could muster. “She’s waiting for you. She’s probably pissed off and waiting for you and you don’t want to keep her waiting any longer than she already has been.” 

“I’m not going until I know you’re okay.”

You took a sharp inhale of breath and finally looked at him for a split second before speaking down to his chest again, “I’m not okay…with any of this.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “With what? Us?”

“With…you.” you mumbled. “With you and her.” 

George just blinked at you for a moment as if he were completely clueless. You thought he was the stupidest man on Earth to have not realized how madly in love with him you were. 

You continued, “I’m never going to be okay with it but it’s just something I’ve had to suck up and deal with so please can you just take a shirt from my closet and your damn pancakes and leave?”

“I don’t want to leave it like this.” George said seriously. 

“Well I dunno what to tell you.” you said tightly, “I just…don’t want to have this conversation right now.”

George stared at you for a beat and when it was realized that you weren’t going to look at him, he took a small step back with a light nod. He hesitated in front of you but then walked around the island and back to your room to find himself a shirt. It made it feel like it was meant to be only more and more knowing you were the same size in height and general build. You swore he was your other half, especially with everything he would tell you between the sheets…only to return to his girlfriend by the end of the night. 

He emerged from your room again wearing an oversized concert shirt from your closet—one of the few shirts in your closet that wouldn’t look solely like it was a woman’s—and you couldn’t help yourself but eye him longingly. He looked so good in your clothes…in your bed…in your apartment. God, you swore he was meant to be yours. The world was unfair. 

You turned away from him to grab a Ziploc bag from the cupboard and you tossed three pancakes into it and zipped it up. He watched you silently and when you held out the baggie to him across the island, he instead walked around it and took it from your hand right beside you. You didn’t look at him. 

“You mean the world to me.” he whispered to you, gently brushing your hair out of your face so he could see you the best he could. “I don’t want to just not see you again. Can we talk later? And fix this?”

You nodded faintly. 

“Okay.” he leaned in to kiss your cheek. 

With a gentle finger, he rested it against your opposite cheek to try and turn your head towards him. You barely offered him a 45° turn with your eyes still downcast but, regardless, he pressed a feather soft kiss to your lips. 

“Don’t give up on me yet, please?” he spoke softly, resting his forehead against the side of your head, “I need you.” 

You raised a hand up to slide your fingers through his soft hair at the nape of his neck, holding him there for a few more moments before you would let him slip away and into the arms of someone who didn’t deserve him. 

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[arinzu]

BLLK IMAGINES

How would these characters reach differently if you were their first love vs first love.

DETAILS/ P1/P2 (COMING SOON)

featuring. Isagi, Rin, Bachira, Nagi and reo. GN! READER

Trope`s. FIRST LOVE VS FIRST LOVE.

I need people to see this because it's so good i swear!!!

ISAGI YOICHI

FIRST love He met you while he was in a competition in your school. It was intense round between your team and theirs, eventually Isagi's team triumph with a score of 3-2. Impress by your ability. So when you asked for his number. he didn't say no. You both were blunt, not one for games but rather one for challenges. He talk with you late into the night about football. But he did notice some things about you like, the way you speak so passionately about the sport. So when you asked him out on a date, he didn't refuse, slowly that date turned into a relationship. His heart didn't flutter like the way the movies describe it suppose to be. In reality the 'i love you' shared between you and him felt emotionless, not a feeling- but a task. He did valued the relationship like bringing you flowers, but that flowers weren't your favourite. Talking like lovebirds, but it was more chit chatting like birds. So when the time came you pulled him close into a hug and asked to break up, he didn't fight back, didn't try to resolve, or fight. It was just a chapter closed.

...

First LOVE It wasn't always like this, he watch you play your guitar after school. Your fingers gliding through the strings as you hummed a melody, you look so peaceful. He felt something in his chest whenever you spoke to him, whether it was about school or sports. The way you chit chat to him if you saw him, made his heart flutter. Unlike the first, he was there, trying his best to speak up and listen to you talk. He didn't need to hide his chatter when he's with you. He just let it all out, he felt comfortable with you. it was a slow process, long chats late into the night. Joking around in class. At first he didn't even know that he had fallen for you— once he realise this, he tried to rationalise this feeling. Suddenly it hits him like a brick at 11 pm at night, he finally admits he fell for you. He thinks about you every night before he goes to sleep. He blushes when he talks to you. He really does like you. You were like a song, a lyric, a melody, everything inside one person, that he can't get rid of.

ITOSHI RIN

FIRST Love He met you during a training camp arranged between your schools. At first, you clashed— his bluntness, his cold stare, the way he treated everyone like they were in his way. But somehow, something about your calm persistence, started to pull his attention. Eventually, Rin asked you out. No grand gestures. Just a quiet and firm gesture. He didn’t even look up when he said it. And so, you became his first relationship. It wasn’t a fairy tale. He wasn’t the type to say sweet things or hold your hand in public. But he tried in his own way— walking you home, waiting for your messages even when he didn’t reply right away, staying up to watch your matches. You had moments. Quiet ones. Like watching the rain fall together, or him lending you his hoodie without a word when you were cold. But something was missing. While he was your first relationship, you realized… you weren’t in love. Breaking up with Rin wasn’t dramatic. He just nodded, eyes lowered, and accepted, because he knew you both were not meant to be. If you didn't take the initiative he'll take it himself.

...

First LOVE He doesn't fall easily, he didn't need distractions. That's why he built a strong and tall wall around him. He had a goal, and that goal was beating his brother. Then you showed up — loud in the quietest way. You didn’t demand attention, but somehow… his never left you. It started small, like passing notes or talking after class. Soon it escalated to making fun of his grade in math, to him offering his snacks since you were gonna steal it like it was natural anyways. He let you have it He saw things about you that you didn't even know. How you stare outside the window when you thought the teacher wasn't looking. How your voice got softer when you talk about something you liked. It was so engrave to his thoughts that he particularly memorise you, he knew you before you did. He understand this whatever this— was, it wasn't a crush nor a phase, or someone he cared for. You were it. You were his first love. First one to enter his world after Sae.

BACHIRA MEGURU

FIRST Love The simple and calm person to his energetic and golden retriever persona. You called him cute, and he blush. He held your hand. Everyone said you both were a match made in heaven. But the monster inside of him told him that he was playing someone else's role in your story. He didn't want to believe it. Late night calls, matching bio's and cheesy 'i miss you' at 2 am. He never told you about his monster, he didn't let you see his imperfections. Years of bullying taught him that it was better to hide himself. So he smiled the biggest, talk the loudest, the version of himself that people liked. Until that all faded... you grabbed him pulling him into a warm embrace. You knew that wasn't the real him, so you let him go. You'll support him not as a lover but a friend. And you were right. Because he liked you... but never loved you. He trusted you... but not enough. You were his first relationship. But you weren’t his first love.

...

First LOVE You match everything inside him, you laughed at his jokes and gave your own. Too much, too loud, too messy, but that didn't stop you to be who you were. When he was annoying you called him out, but you never saw him as broken. You understand him like a painting, colour and the brush stroke to the tinniest details. You let him be him, defending, arguing and fighting, He liked that spark. You were like him but also having your own monster. The monster inside him enjoyed your monster, that voice told him that you were special, and he knew it wasn't just a crush. He asked him mom about what to do, and the answer was to tell you. If he messed it up then it's on him, on the other hand if you accept then he might actually pass out. When the time come he'll do it, you made him feel seen and heard. You were his voice and never tried to leave, you weren't just a chapter but a whole book. You were his first love. Not because you made his heart race. But because you made it feel safe to stop running.

NAGI SEISHIRO

FIRST Love Relationships was a hassle, dating was something he was dragged to. You asked and he said okay. It was okay, at first- the occasional conversations, texts with hearts, posting pictures, but once you expected him to reply after a few minutes or expected him to care more it became a hassle He didn't hate it. He frankly didn't feel anything. Holding hands didn’t make his chest warm. Your kisses didn’t linger. When you smiled, he smiled back because it was expected— not because he meant it. When you asked if he was there, he didn't know how to reply, he was there, just not emotionally. That was the reason you two broke up He didn't feel hurt. You were like an unwanted app he uninstalled.

...

First LOVE You didn't force him to be present, but you sure did made yourself present. And that what led him to notice you. He really looked, it wasn't like the nagi who scores goals or naps between practice — the Nagi who gets bored with everything, the Nagi who sometimes wonders if he’s meant to feel more but doesn’t know how. You didn’t try to change him. You just... sat with him. And somehow, that silence with you felt louder than any conversation he'd had before. One day, you leaned your head on his shoulder, no words, no expectations— and he felt his whole chest ache in this slow, soft way. Like something inside me finally woke up. And for the first time in his life, he didn’t want to sleep through it.

MIKAGE REO

FIRST Love It started like most things in his life— polished, intentional, planned. You was smart, pretty, came from a good family. You both had chemistry, looked great together, and people said we were couple goals. he thought, Yeah, this makes sense. It felt like a win. Another thing to check off the list. You guys went on nice dates. Took cute photos. Held hands like it meant something. People envied us— which he thought mattered at the time. But… Something was missing. he'd smile, but not feel it. he'd talk, but filter everything. he felt like he was performing— like he was the Reo everyone expected. The one who wanted to win the world cup. He think you liked the version of him where he showed off — not the one who sat up at night wondering if he was ever enough without the money, the charm, the name. So when it ended, it didn’t hurt.

...

First LOVE You didn’t try to impress him. You didn’t care that he was a Mikage. You didn’t look at him like a trophy— you looked at him like an individual. You challenged him. Called him out when he was being arrogant. Saw through the mask— and didn’t flinch. And when you smiled at him, it wasn’t because of what he had, or what he could do. It was just… him. And suddenly, he didn’t want anything else. Not a title. Not applause. Not even the spotlight. Just you— sitting beside him, laughing at something stupid, looking at him like he was enough. When you speak something inside him broke. He knew this feeling all too well. Love. He won't tell anyone, but he'll try his best to capture your heart like you captured his. He didn't just wanna win you over, he wanted you. He'll be someone so great that even without being a Mikage, you will still smile at him like this You were more valuable then anything he own.

OMG FINALLY IT'S DONEEEE, I FEEL SO HAPPY. What did y'all think about bachira? was it too ooc??? please somone give me more characters to do this with!!! i loved and cried making this. Talking about making it 3:30 am rn.

[bardan-jusik]

omg thank you!!

okay i'm sure everyone expects me to say kal, but it's actually vau

yeah i know i know we're introduced to him as 'the guy who is willing to torture prisoners' and 'the guy who nearly killed atin because of how atin was reacting to how his squad died'

this is not a vau defense post. im not saying he's a GOOD person. he has done, will do, and shows no remorse for a lot of horrible shit. HOWEVER he never does sadistic shit for his own entertainment- it's always because that's what (he believed) needed to be done, to protect those he cares about. and he is extraordinarily lawful about it

i could find more instances of vau demonstrating that he's actually extremely moral but i'm going to focus on the true colors intro scene for the sake of brevity lol

-very explicit about delta not touch anything, he is the one robbing the bank, not them

-he is a civilian, and multiple times through the books he uses his lack of military rank to do things that he would not be able to square with his conscience if he was in a military

-'my squad' 'boys' and 'won't go as far as kal'- he's maintaining the distance of not calling them his sons, but he clearly thinks of them that way. i believe that he won't think of them as his sons because he feels it would be inappropriate, for several reasons- he doesn't want to put himself in a parental role, knowing he would be shit at it, he may feel that after all they had to do to the clones on kamino it would be tasteless to try and play a father figure even if he would be good at it, and it may just be that the concept of fatherhood is distasteful to him because of his own fuckass dad

-'its heartbreaking' and 'tiny kids' and 'he's running out of time faster than me' LIKEEEEE. his inner thoughts are very focused on how much he cares about the clones, even if strong emotion doesn't come easily to him (and he's at least somewhat intellectually aware of whats up there, straight up says his dad fucked him up)

-his arguments with kal are really insightful into his own morals- he thinks that kal treating the clones like his sons is detrimental to the clones. whether kal or vau is right isn't the point- i think that the way they both handled their cadets respectively was the only way either of them could have squared it to themselves morally, and there was no objective Correct Way to handle this deeply fucked up situation

-dude lies to jedi and always manages to do it in ways that are morally acceptable to him

-gives the sapphire to ordo in a gesture that shows extremely substantial support for him and his relationship, and approval of besany, and is also justice towards vau' family

-helps kal dig the foundation for the memorial, which im sure to vau was more or less keeping kal company and showing him some solidarity while kal did what he needed to do to deal with his grief

-goes looking for sev on kashyyyk

-his beskar is black, representing justice

i could probably write a damn book on kal and vau's Whole Thing and this feels deeply incoherent right now but basically- vau cares even if he prefers to show it only through significant, meaningful action and never verbally, vau's actions MUST make internal moral sense to him, and i cannot think of a single thing he does in the books that wasn't motivated by a desire to help the people he cares about

versus kal who easily shows love, verbally, physically, through action- it hurts kal to not show affection. he has to lie to a terrorist and say he doesnt care about the clones to seal a deal and immediately asks to make sure they know he didn't mean it. his actions also must make internal moral sense to him, but he goes about it differently than vau- vau won't take a military position, kal won't sleep in a bed. and not a single thing kal does wasn't motivated by a desire to help the people he cares about

they are INSANE and just. holy shit it's good writing. the character building and dynamics are CRAZY. but you don't get that if you think that vau is an immoral person

[cheesenchalk]

These are all really interesting points of discussion, and I agree with you to a point, but disagree on some aspects.

I do think the internet as a whole right now has an issue with over-pathologizing pretty much everything. It's hard to go anywhere without tiktok therapists telling you that X behavior is actually a sign of Y disorder, and speaking as someone in the field of psychology, it's a frustrating pattern. That said, there is a distinction between pathologizing, and simply analyzing the information we have to make connections and try to reach a loose understanding of someone.

Your focus is mostly on the "people-pleasing" aspect, and that's part of what i bring up in the original post, but not the focus. I didn't necessarily go into specifics because it wasn't the point of the post as a whole, but I was framing that examination specifically through how media and the public perceived them at the time and in years since, so I'm not applying that pattern to interpersonal and private relationships, because that's a completely different playing field where these patterns don't exist in the same way.

In that same vein, I'm not going to dig into the distinction you make between demeanor/personality, and psychology, both because I don't think those are separate concepts, and because it's not entirely relevant here.

The different ways John and Paul approached public scrutiny and situations of stress are able to be looked at without it also being applied to every other aspect of them, and that's mostly what I was doing before. Paul isn't people-pleasing, because that's a label trying to encompass his approach to every situation, but in the context of intense and potentially harmful situations, he is someone who generally responds/responded to them by trying to deflect, and soothe, and charm, and pointing to instances in his personal life and childhood where that style of conflict-resolution is also seen isn't saying that kind of response is entirely a trauma-response, but it is to say that, if we know about it because the story was told to us, it isn't unreasonable to think that similar situations might have happened when he was young, and might have contributed to forming how he approached situations in the future. Even if it were just a manifestation of some inherent personality trait (if those did exist), stories like those at least show examples of it, and connecting these instances do help us understand Paul better.

Defense mechanisms, personality, world view, and approach are all facets of us as people that are shaped by the world we grow up in, the people around us, and the experiences we have, and we can highlight microcosms of those environmental factors in specific moments sometimes.

My point in the tags of the original post wasn't that "people pathologize John so we should do the same with Paul," it was that people often look for explanations of John's behavior in his background and life, while taking Paul's behavior as a given result of Who He Is, which is assumed to be a certain way intrinsically, when the reality is, there are a lot of things in Paul's life we can look to to better understand him that have gone largely ignored for the majority of the history of the public and authors analyzing the Beatles and how they worked.

I do like how you point how much of our framing is in response to previous framing, but I don't think the counter to that is to swing back into refusing to examine his psychology, or connect aspects of it. I do think you're right in that the short, pithy simplifications of any of the Beatles' personalities are repeated until they're accepted as fact, so in the end any generalization of them as people is doomed to be incomplete to the point of inaccuracy. Any summation of a person a sentence or two long would be. And similarly, even using terms like "people-pleasing" are a result of responding to contemporary understanding flattening them to simple traits.

To be general to the point of unhelpfulness, the fix to that isn't to dive full-on into pathologizing, or to reject psychological analysis entirely, it's just continuing to try and look at all the facets of Paul or the others to shape our understanding of them the best we can. It's just nuance

i never know how to phrase it but something about the way beatles biographers and people in general view paul's reflexive placating persona and determination to smooth things over as manipulative or duplicitous and john's reflexive barbed persona and habit of lashing out as brave and subversive despite both being equally defensive mechanisms to shield themselves from the world that resulted in them saying things that weren't true says more about how we culturally view kindness or friendliness as inherently untrustworthy or flimsy and anger and carelessness as more believable as someone's true nature than it says about either of them in actuality

[lemotmo]

What do you think Temu's role is in next week's episode? Apart from the funeral, (though I have fucking idea why he's carrying the coffin and not anyone else from A shift)

(Hopefully his final one!)

Yeah, the choice of him carrying that coffin is just weird. The 118 isn't just made up of Hen, Eddie (will be back soon), Chimney, Buck and Ravi. There are plenty of other firefighters at the station. We see them all the time in the background. It would make more sense that one of them would carry that coffin. He was their captain too.

But for plot reasons I suppose they decided to use Tommy. 🙄

I do think Tommy is there for a reason. We've seen in 15 that Buck and Tommy are back on good terms, but we also know that a relationship between them would never work. One, because Tommy knows that Buck isn't as interested in him as he would like him to be, mainly because he heavily suspects that Buck is in love with Eddie.

And two? Well, he is right. Buck is in love with Eddie. He just doesn't want to see it or even acknowledge it. 🤷‍♀️

But how could they fit that in the episode?

Well, I keep coming back to all the parallels between 7x03, 7x04, 8x15 and possibly 8x16:

I've been thinking about Tommy's arc. It started with him flying his helicopter to save Bathena (7x03). The next episode (7x4) he tried to woo Eddie, but ended up kissing Buck.

Now he, once again, flew his helicopter to help save Chimney and the others in 15. He showed up because Buck called him.

We also know that Eddie will be back in 16. I've speculated before that I think there'll be a convo between Tommy and Eddie. I really think this I'll happen as a parallel to 7x04, where Tommy and Eddie were shown to be friends. We do know that Eddie stopped talking to Tommy when BT broke up, so it might be a bit of an awkward conversation where both feel out of their depth.

Additionally I potentially see Tommy give Eddie some kind of hint as to not wait to long to go after what he wants or something generic like that. Which will undoubtedly puzzle Eddie and might be something that he can't get out of his head in the two last episodes.

So, my current theory for 8x16 is that they will parallel the scene where Tommy comes over to Buck's loft in 7x04. Only this time it won't end with Tommy kissing Buck.

So Tommy shows up at Buck's house after the funeral to check in on him and finds Eddie already there, taking care of Buck because Eddie knows exactly what Buck needs. At the same time Buck will also take care of Eddie, because he lost Bobby too. Tommy will probably also find out that Eddie is staying with Buck as long as he's in LA.

Cue the awkward conversation (+ possible hint) with Eddie I talked about in the paragraphs above. Tommy might then have a short talk with Buck (probably in the kitchen again) that links back to the kitchen conversation after they hooked up.

And that might just trigger Buck to realise that life is too short. He can't just keep denying these feelings he has for Eddie. Cue Buck realising and accepting that he is actually in love with his best friend.

It might even end with a nice Buddie scene after Tommy leaves. Now, in a perfect world it would end with a Buddie kiss to parallel the BT kiss, but I don't think we are quite there yet. It seems a bit too fanficy. And also... Bobby just died. Now might not be the best time. 😫😂

So most probably Eddie will ask Buck if he is okay and Buck will just stand there trying to be normal with the realisation that he has fallen in love with Eddie.

Oh and let's not forgot the Bathena parallel in both episodes either. In 7x03 Buck and Athena had a reunion on the ship with Buck, Eddie and Tommy looking at them.

In 8x16 they'll (hopefully if Bobby is still alive) have another reunion as Bobby will be back. Probably with everyone there to see it.

(Yes, I am a Bobby is alive truther. Trust.😌)

I also don't think that Eddie's realisation will be too far behind once we have confirmation of Buck's feelings. Oliver has expressed his concerns before of not wanting to do the storyline of the bisexual man falling for his straight best friend. So I think they'll try to avoid that by making sure that Eddie will start his own journey of realisation as he starts to get more and more aware that Buck is a part of his joy and happiness in life.

All right everyone, keep in mind that this is just speculation.😋 These are my thoughts about what MIGHT happen in 8x16, based on what we know so far (which is almost nothing) and based on parallels with previous episodes. So please take all of this with a grain of salt. I'm here for the fandom fun, but I'm not clairvoyant. 😉

This might shock you, but I have been wrong before in my spec. 😂😂😂

[therealmilfdennys]

Pope gives me switch vibes

I feel like Pope practices causal dominance outside the bedroom as part of a tough older brother thing he has going on, and that naturally translates into the bedroom, especially early relationships. And even later, he'll switch back into this. It has to be tough and take care of you mode, which can be something simple as ordering your food or fucking you in his car cause you couldn't wait to get home first

But as soon as you get him to open up and drop the "act" and let him know that he can be taken care of for once, it's game over. He whimpers and moans in your ear, especially happy when you call him a good boy, still trying to take care of you, but he slowly gets used to the fact that you both take care of each other

Also, man is a boob guy. Big small, perky not perky doesn't matter. He likes boobs final

oughhoughh...anon you get me...

nsfw under the cut!

cw: emotionally repressed male, slight femdom, canon typical violence, uhhh crying, my usual shit 🩷

Pope, in canon, likes to bottom.

We see it with Amy, mostly, but some with Angela too. He does well with instruction, he LITERALLY puts Amy on top of him when they finally have sex. The only times we see him dominant are with women that he doesn't know well.

I don't think he ever expects you to WANT to touch him like that, tbh. He isn't exactly insecure about it or anything, he just..literally doesn't think you'd want to. You have to initiate anything intimate at first.

I do believe he'd try to be the one with the most control the first couple of times you guys go at it. He's too paranoid, needs to know you aren't doing this to get something out of him. He doesn't trust tender affection that's freely given. He doesn't trust the fact that when you go down on him the first time, you don't expect him to return the favor.

But when you finally, FINALLY get him to relax? When you get it through his skull that you want him just as much as he wants you? Oh baby all bets are off.

He's whining into your mouth while you jerk him off, hiding his face against your neck while you ride him slow on the couch. He likes it when you pull at his hair, is ashmed to admit he likes it more when your fingers dig into the bruises and scrapes that cover him after a rough job.

Something about you seeing the damage done to him, and not flinching away? Not cringing and avoiding it? Accepting it as a part of who he is, accepting Him. Nothing makes him harder.

I really need to make like..a kink list for this guy because there's so much to work with there.

But yeah! You hit the nail on the head! He's casually dominant outside of the bedroom, because that's just how he Is. Controlled and ten steps ahead, knowing what you need/want before you even do. But in the bedroom? He lets himself be weak. Or at least as weak as a man like him can get. He lets you gentle him into a soft, warm sort of bliss where he feels safe and more importantly seen for once in his godforsaken life. And yeah he's gonna cry about it. All teary eyed and wobbly lipped. Don't mention it or he'll probably implode.

Kiss him and let him hide his face between your tits for a while and he's yours for life.

(i also think he maybe has a breeding kink but idk if yall cool with that or not lol)

[lolitaonline]

Never Know, Chapter 1 18+ MDNI

Stalker! Best friend! Noah x F! Reader word count- 3,400k+

Summary- You and Bad Omens have been friends for a while. Starting to tour together and become closer than ever. During this time someone from the past begins to make himself known. Noah does not take too kind of a liking to this.

Tw- mentions of health scares/collapsing, medics being called, breaking and entering, watching from afar, gifts being left, stalking, mentions of religion/religious trauma mentioned through out, ptsd, anxiety, mentions of picture taken

An- If I missed a TW or would like to be added to the tag list please let me know. If you would like to be removed or added to the list please let me know. Thank you. I hope you all enjoy, ALSO THANK YOU TO MY LOVE @fadingintothegrey FOR HER AMAZING HELP AND ENCOURAGMENT, go show her love <3

Mature content ahead, you have been warned.

Divider by- @/anitalenia

Soft pitter patter of rain drizzled down the dimly lit street. The buzzing from the blinking streetlight hummed softly in the background.  

Footsteps quietly trailed down the dark empty alleyway. Hands shoved inside pockets; ski-mask fitted on like a glove. Not one of the safest towns but safer than most. No-one would suspect a thing, perfect opportunity. 

You walked through your front door, kicking your shoes and coat off to the side. You were in need of a hot shower. Your feet hurt from walking around all day sorting through papers for the merch team, safe to say you hated walking back and forth. Before that you had an early morning coffee date with a dude your friend set you up with. He wasn't your type, but you wanted to give it a try. You also felt it was time to move from how you felt about Noah.  

Noah is your best friend. You both met at Matt’s party he was hosting; you and Matt went to school together so it made sense that you would be there. It was nice to reconnect with him but to also meet Nick, Jolly, Folio, and Noah. You and Matt were close but you and Noah were a little closer and had more in common.  

At the party you and Noah both shared a joint and talked about aliens and the universe. You weren't sure how long you were out with him, but you knew you wanted to get to know him more. At the end of the party, you and Noah exchanged numbers and bid farewell. You both have been close ever since.  

You were with them from the start to the present day. You were so proud of how far they have come in the band. They offered you a job to help handle the merch and you happily accepted, you got to tour with them and make more memories together, you couldn't turn that down.  

In the beginning you were nervous to be working for a band or even around them. Seeing the behind the scenes of music videos, merch drops, accomplishments.

The growth was exceptional; the feeling of guilt would build occasionally when you started to catch feelings for Noah. You were aware that Noah was a catch, chased by many, yearned for at night, looked for in the morning.  

When you and Noah met it was just right around the beginning of talks of creating the band/in the process of creating the band. You and Matt had been friends since school and would attend the same church before he left after high school.

You were ecstatic when he wanted to remain friends. You didn’t have that many friends, but you had a few. Matt was a good friend though; you guys would hang out often and catch up as often as you could when he was in town. 

After high school you packed up and left your town. Leaving your faith, stalker, and past behind you. Cutting ties with everyone and never looking back. Matt was aware that you were having problems down there and helped you find a place near him. Ever since than Matt has been like your brother.  

After you had a break between the US leg tour of ‘Finding God Before God Finds Me’, you decided to try and give guys a chance. Normally turning them down, not looking for a relationship but you wouldn’t mind one either. You were not the most experienced, but you were still up for trying. Taking this opportunity to try and move on from your friend.  

This was just right around when the chaos started to happen.  

The gifts were first.  

Flowers, dolls, your favorite candy, make up 

As you all walked back into the green room, laughs and jokes ringing and echoing throughout the area. As you walked over to the couch, wanting to relax from the long day, collapsing on the couch. Allowing a deep sigh of relief through your lips.  

The band and you both started to pack and clean up a bit. Wanting to get to the hotel and get as much sleep as possible. You and Noah haven’t had much time to speak today. You both were busy with your respective jobs. You worked the merch booth and kept it as organized and quick as possible.

The boys controlled the crowd and sang to their heart’s content. It was a great show, the crowd was great, you got to meet a few new people and sold a good amount of merch. You were very proud of yourself. 

“Hey, Y/n look, did one of your little dates drop this off for you?” Hearing Folio teasing you brought your eyes to open. As your vision cleared and became focused your world stopped. 

A doll wearing a black dress, black shoes, and h/c, sitting in Folio’s arms. Her arms sat in her lap all pretty, shiny hair sat nicely on her shoulders. Behind her was a vase full of flowers, big bouquet, dark blue vase, red’s blues, pinks, and whites arranged. 

That was years ago, years and years ago. It went so quiet after a while.  

He couldn’t have found you, could he? Yeah, you were traveling with a band whose popularity is going up, but no one knew of you. You stayed behind the scenes; you just kept track of the ins and outs of merch.  

When you left your hometown, you wanted to leave this piece of your past right with it. You wanted a new beginning, the past was meant to stay in the past, not jump forward 5 or so years. 

Fear and shock warming up and buzzing through your system. Where did that come from? Is this a joke? No, no one knows, how could they? This was before you had known them, before you even met Matt.  

“Well, don’t you like dolls? You grew up with them, maybe a friend brought them for you” Jolly suggests an innocent idea, not understanding the severity of this. No one did, you couldn’t tell them. You had to figure this out on your own. You’ve done it before, and you won last time. Who is to say you couldn’t do it this time.  

The boy’s stood around the room patiently waiting for a reply. The jokes came to a pause, silence filling the room.  

Noah could tell by the look on your face that something might have been wrong. “Yeah, maybe an old friend, you used to love Dolls when you went to church right?” Matt tried to offer an explanation.  

No one knew of the things you dealt with. Even when you first met the boys it was happening but slowly died down. You and Matt met when he moved down for a little bit in high school and ended up attending your church for a little bit before graduating.  

Matt was right, you did like dolls to an extent. Not the barbie ones, but the vintage ones, the porcelain dolls, etc. You never collected them though; you just talked about how you thought they were cute. They kind of creeped you as well, like a love-hate kind of situation.  

Your breath and words got lost. You wanted to speak and say something, deny it all and forget about it. Last time you tried to do that there were consequences, your apartment was broken into and ransacked, your car broke down, lost your job. It felt like a curse, try to change your fate, you’re met with consequences.  

Every time you tried to ignore it, he got angrier. Why wasn’t his, love, ecstatic to see his gifts. He picked them out for her and chose her to be his. He spent his time and money on those things for you. Some of which he stole but you didn’t need to know that. Just as long as you had them was all he cared about.  

You wanted to get rid of him, forget about everything he had given you. Why would you ever do such a thing? Can’t you see that you belong to him. And then you just had to leave him and move away. Did that night mean anything to you, do you remember that night? How could you not, you didn’t drink that much. It’s okay, he will help you remember...  

Your thoughts were stuck on the past 5 or so years of your life. Everything you endured, thought, felt, dealt, all of it. It all came to the front of your head. All you could do was stand and stare at the gifts. No words could get through your head. None could be heard, you couldn't even see in front of you. It was getting darker. You knew that but why you weren't sure.  

That’s when it all began again.  

“What the hell” Noah exclaimed as he caught you before hitting the ground. Bringing his hand up to your forehead, checking your temperature. The boys moved around you making space. The boys were worried obviously; hearts dropped to their stomach when you collapsed. “We might need a medic, I’m not sure if this is because of the gifts or something else.” Nick said heading over to the door, exiting the room looking for help.  

“Let’s move her somewhere clearer” Jolly says, moving boxes and bags out the way. Noah lifted you up, moving you to a more private clear area in the room. He did not want to risk anyone seeing and causing a bigger problem. If it was the gifts, he was going to find out what caused your reaction.  

You had never mentioned any health issues either, so it had to be the gifts. Noah’s mind was racing with thoughts and worry. Why did you have that reaction? Noah hated the thought of you going on dates to begin with. And now here you are fainting backstage not even 10 minutes after having an incredible day. You were supposed to spend time with him tonight and instead here you are. 

“They’re here!” Nick exclaimed, moving to the side for the medics to come in and check on you. Noah did not play with anyone else, especially during tour. Everyone was so determined to work hard and make it big. This would lead to mental health and physical health being put to the side sometimes. When the band got bigger Noah and the boys always made sure that everyone was okay. 

Noah moved out the way, giving room for the medics to do their check up on you. “She just collapsed, she was fine and just collapsed,” Noah said to the medics. “She was fine, and she collapsed” Noah kept muttering under his breath. Noah wasn’t sure of the feeling that was coursing through his body. Anger, misery, confusion, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do but he wanted to fix it. Everyone knew that the reaction you had wasn’t normal.  

When the medics deemed you okay the boys made their way back to the tour bus. Noah held you tight in his arms. He enjoyed holding you close, despite the situation he was relieved you were safe in his arms and that nothing was wrong with your health but, Noah was going to figure out what this was about.  

You were his girl, no one else's, and the fact that someone is trying to come along and destroy it was a problem. As the boys walked through the bus, careful not to hit you along the way, Jolly helps Noah put you in your bunk. Carefully laying your head on your pillow, your breathing was back to normal. 

Noah decided to stay with you, laying his bunk directly across from you waiting for you to show any signs that you have woken up. He patiently waited, staring into the black small space before him.  

The next time you wake up you’re in the tour bus, laying on your bunk. It was pretty quiet minus the muffled sounds of voices through the thin walls. You take a moment to go through your head and sort out everything that happened in the last few hours.  

You were selling merch at the merch booth, watched the boys perform, headed backstage, that’s when it went dark.  

The last thing you remembered was when it went dark. You were praying that maybe it was a bad dream, and you just went straight to bed after the concert. “I have to be going crazy” you mumbled to yourself. Bringing a hand up to your head, you could feel a headache coming onto you. Debating on if you wanted to come out and face the situation at hand or deal with it in the morning.  

You thought back to when you had your break between the tour. The memory of you coming home and feeling uneasy when speaking with Noah. The window, the uneasy feeling of being watched, the way it felt like someone touched you in your sleep. You thought maybe it was the wind, but you knew it was a person in your room.  

Stepping outside the shower, grasping the towel tightly around your body. You walked aimlessly to your bedroom, tossing your phone on the bed. Walking over to your closet you pick out a t shirt and grab some shorts to sleep in. Dropping the towel on the floor as you started to get dressed you noticed something out the corner of your eye.  

“I didn’t open that...” your voiced mumbled out. Quickly slipping your shirt on; you walk over to your dresser.  

When you were getting into the shower you don't remember opening your drawer, you didn’t even walk over to this area. You had gone straight to your bathroom to lay down for the night.  

Peeking inside you take notice that it’s the drawer that keeps your panties, before you can investigate if anything is missing your phone starts to buzz.  

“Noah <3 Calling” 

Attention turning over to where your phoned sat you turn back to drawer and dismissing it. “I had to have left it open this morning...idiot” you mumbled out.  

Walking back over to your bed, grabbing your phone answering it quickly. “Hey, doll, just wanted to make sure you were home okay” you could hear his grin from the other side of the phone. Noah was aware that his nicknames for you made you flustered.  

“Hey, yes I made it home safe” you replied dismissing him. You were laying on your bed, legs pulled up slightly. You enjoyed listening to Noah talk, he had a nice voice, even better when singing. “We have a few new shipments coming in of hoodies and sweatpants, and then we have decided which ones to keep or scrape” Noah trailed on through your ear.  

“Anway's what are you doing right now” Noah asked, he liked talking about work but when it was with you, he wanted to talk about anything else. Noah was private about his feelings; he cared about you deeply and you knew that but other than the nicknames Noah didn’t show interest in you like that. Noah wasn't one who showed interest in those things, maybe a quick fling yes, but never a relationship.  

During this time, you were on the “Finding God Before God Finds Me” Tour. But you were given a two week break to get some rest. The boys offered for you to stay with them for a little bit, but you opted to go home for the day. You were thankful that today was the start of your two-week break. You had worked extra hard today to make sure everything was perfect before you had to get on the road again. 

“I just got done showering, I was going to start dinner, watch a shower and sleep” you chuckled out, rubbing your eyes, feeling sleep slowly slipover. “What are you going to make, and you better not watch Demon Slayer without me, you promised” Noah rushed out accusingly. When Noah found out you had never seen it, he was so shocked but took this as a chance to spend time together. “I won't, I promise, thank you for introducing it to me, it’s really good” you laughed out, balancing your phone between your jaw and shoulder. You reach inside your fridge grabbing some left-over pasta from the night before.  

“Well, that's really cool, how are the boys doing now that we get some time to breathe” you teased out. Throughout the car rides Jolly was starting to feel home sick but pushed through until the break. You were starting to worry about it, but you were happy knowing he was doing good at home.  

As you and Noah continued to talk the more you felt more ‘exposed’ for some reason. Like the hairs on the back of neck rise. This uneasy feeling wouldn’t go away. The more you waited on your pasta to heat up the more creeped out you felt.  

Dragging your attention back Noah speaks up “You, okay? You went quiet?” Noah asked through the phone. “Yeah, I just feel uneasy right now for some reason, like I'm being watched.” You replied, quickly grabbing your food and making your way back to your room.  

As soon as you left the kitchen you felt much better. You couldn't shake that off feeling you have coursing through your blood. “You need me to come over?” Noah offered, he wouldn’t want you to be alone especially if you were scared or had an uneasy feeling about it. You didn’t want Noah to have to drive so late it was turning to be 12:00 am and you knew he wanted to get some work done in the morning.  

“It’s Okay, I should be okay, I think I just need to stop watching so many horror movies” you joked back. Attempting to lighten the mood a bit. Noah on the other side was a little worried about you. You did sound distracted from the conversation halfway through the phone call.  

The clock resting on your bedroom wall was looking to strike 2:00am. This made you cut off Noah feeling bad for keeping him up so late.  

“Sorry, I did not realize how late it was.” You apologize not wanting to keep Noah awake or causing him to oversleep and miss something. “It’s okay, doll. I will let you get some sleep. Call me if you need anything. You know that though” Noah teased.  

You hang up the phone, tossing it to the side. You loved talking to Noah and bonding over time. Feeling a yawn coming, you moved your plate of your eaten food on your desk. “I’ll take it down tomorrow” you mumbled to yourself.  

Making your way back into bed. Slipping in between the sheets, curling up and getting comfortable. Mind wandering around. Nothing in mind, just drifting off to sleep.  

She looks so beautiful sleeping, capturing a picture isn't wrong. Her beauty radiates so brightly, and she can't see it. It’s such a shame.  

“Don’t worry, baby, you’ll come around soon” a quiet voice whispered into the dark, a hand gently grazing your cheek as you curled deeper into your sheets. The touch tickling your cheek lightly. 

Deciding to just stay in your bunk and not face the issues of the night, you turn over. Forcing your eyes shut, you didn’t want to have to explain and dig up something you surely wanted to forget about. This was supposed to stay in that town. Buried and forgotten.  

Noah was aware that you were awake, he could hear you mumbling to yourself. He knew that you didn’t want to talk about it right now. If it had brought that strong of a reaction from you, he didn't blame you for wanting to be alone or for not wanting to talk about it.  

Noah knew for sure he wanted to help you; he needed to help you. Moving out from his bunk he makes his way to the other room where everyone else was chatting. Not wanting to burden the mood of the rest of the night. It will be handled tomorrow; they have the day off and can hang out together. 

----- 

Dear, Reader 

I have missed you  

I hope you didn't forget me while I was away 

It’s okay though, I am here to protect you, don't worry  

No one can get you 

Not while I am here, remember  

I am your God  

What I say, goes 

What I want, I get 

And you, my love, will be mine 

sincerely, your Love 

A rosary, letter, and rose is left to lay in your bunk. Where you spent some of your nights, laying in the dark reliving memories and thoughts. Silent cries and guilt. The tour bus is quiet, only sounds to be heard are the creaking of the floor under the heavy footsteps.  

Taglist- @fadingintothegrey @like-a-omen @veejezhyk @english-fucker @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @bluestdai @kaliforniahigh @flowery-mess @concreteemo @dollieomens @calleyx13 @fadingangelwisp @hurricanesfollowyou @lacy1986 @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @xxkittenkissesxx @iluvmewwwww75 @silent-stories @veephoenix @graceylove @marvelousmal @thenmaybehellaintsobadafterall @amelia-acero @disappearintothegrey @concretejunglefm @concretenoah @tikosblogg @xmads-omensx @tosoundlessdarkistare @hedonist-k1l @bloody-spades @theanarchymuse95 @renegadebirch @concreteangel92 @elysian-after-dark if you would like to be added, shoot a message <3

[vyzoi]

Spoilers: none

Character is aged up

Warnings: fluff, pissed off Kaiser, protective Kaiser, fem reader

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

After Kaiser’s game, he had an interview to do. He kind of has a love and hate relationship with interviews. He likes his ego being stroked of course. But he hates it because his relationship with you is always mentioned. You usually get compliments yourself, even when you’re not there. He doesn’t hate you getting attention, he hates the way they bring up your relationship because he wants to keep it private for your sake.

Kaiser holds your hand on the way to the room that the interview is going to be held in. “Do you want to go in with me, or stay out here?” You think for a moment. “I’ll go with you.” He sighs. “Let’s hope they don’t bother you.” He opens the door and is immediately greeted in by the interviewer. You’re also immediately greeted.

You both sit down next to each other. Your hand holding his and you’re playing with his fingers as a way to stim. The interviewer notices. “She’s so cute.” Kaiser would let it slide if the interviewer was a woman but to his dislike, the interviewer is a man. You also hated being called cute for your stimming.

The interview starts and you’re now being recorded. You stop playing with your boyfriend’s fingers. Which Kaiser notices, he hates that you got pointed out like that. You always play with his hand, even when you’re on camera. So this interview is off to a bad start.

The interviewer asked a question and it’s the first one too. Not even about your boyfriend’s win that day. “So, how long have you two known each other?” This guy obviously doesn’t do his research because you and Kaiser never answer that. Kaiser looks annoyed, you look nervous. “If you watched any of our interviews together, you would know we don’t answer that.” Kaiser spoke up.

Not a single question asked has been about his match, or his win. You’re about to turn into a miniature version of your boyfriend. “How about you ask him about his huge win? How about you ask him what it feels like to become from a boy who came from a broken home to a man who became so successful in life? Doing the impossible?” Kaiser smirks. He doesn’t even hide how proud he is for you speaking out like that.

The interviewer is shocked. “Well I just thought you guys would like talking about yourselves more.” This time it’s your boyfriend’s turn. “If you did a single ounce of your fucking research, then you would know we don’t like to talk about our personal lives! She just likes to be in the room with me just to be close to me! You’re just wasting everyone’s time with your stupid questions that you will never get a fucking answer to!”

The interviewer just straights up cancels and backs out. The recording stops altogether. “Good luck getting your numbers with that garbage.” Kaiser then laughs. You also join in. “Next time, talk about his success. This isn’t our fault, it’s yours for not doing your research. We have the right to be pissed!”

Before you could walk out the door, the interviewer says something that was so uncalled for about your body. “She has a nice ass.” Kaiser immediately gets you out the door and closes it on you.

You really have no idea what went on in that room. But the interviewer opens the door and profusely apologizes to you and him. Of course you both don’t accept it. You walk out of the building with his arm wrapped around your shoulders. “I’m sorry this happened to you. This was the worst experience of interviewing by far.” You sighed. “I think it’s best that I don’t join you in interviews anymore.” That shatters his heart.

When you got home, he runs a bath for you. He treats your bathroom like it’s a spa. He washes your hair, your body, and he completely massages you. He decides to even paint your nails for you!

After your baths, he cuddles with you on the couch while watching a movie. That was until you got the bright idea to do something for him in return. You pause the movie and you get your phone out. “Tell me Michael Kaiser, how do you feel about your big win today?” He was surprised by this little interview, but he did answer. “Well, it was a good game, this will most likely go down in the books as one of my best matches.”

After your interview with him, you post it on all of your socials. Your phone is blowing up with notifications from his fans like crazy. He plays the movie and you’re lying on his lap with his fingers gently running through your hair.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Couldn’t sleep, so I came up with this.

[space-blue]

Conclave Tarot Deck - Minor and Major Arcana

I will try and do basic sketches for all of them, but most likely will only do a few linocuts. I'll start working on designs tomorrow.

Benitez - The Star

Hope, faith, promise, renewal after darkness. A new direction and changes for the better.

The Star "symbolizes the breakthrough of cosmic consciousness, the oneness with all." But also the survival of terrible life challenges.

No aspects of the reverse reading apply to Benitez.

Lawrence - Ace of Cups

First Reversed: cold emptiness, feeling unloved, creative block (Has God forsaken him? Inability to pray..)

to Upright: emotional awakening, new feelings, great love. Symbolises the start of a new relationship. Creativity, intuition, and spirituality.

The card traditionally depicts God's hand holding a chalice, with a white dove holding the host, and five streams of waters pouring forth, for the five senses.

It's the card of self insight, in the Cup series which is concerned with inner states of being.

Bellini - Judgement

Upright: self-evaluation, awakening, renewal, purpose, reflection, reckoning. A card of change. Fulfillment. Inspiration. The call from within.

Reversed: self-doubt, lack of self-awareness, failure to learn lessons, self-loathing

In his case I feel elements of both really apply. He's also the one to stand and call for Tedesco to be ashamed, casting judgement where Thomas wouldn't.

Tedesco - King of Wands

(Depicted reversed!) Arrogance, impussiveness. A manipulative bully, overbearing and dominating. In reversal it's the worst qualities of fire, which the king of wands embodies: selfishness and ruthlessness.

Upright it's an ambitious, attractive, honest, fiery person, busy and full of life (The Tedesco we dream of). Still authoritative, expressing willpower, and going all out for an ideal, even with brute force.

Tremblay - King of Pentacles

(Also reversed!) Instability, gambling, failure, greed. Someone who makes poor financial decisions, is chauvinistic and exploitative.

Upright it's a practical and productive person who works hard. All about Status and Wealth. A provider associated with craftsmanship. Surely the image Tremblay likes to project.

Adeyemi - The Tower

Disaster and sudden change, chaos, trauma. "A great cleansing to body and spirit. Evil destroys itself. Every form of conceit comes to an end. It is a card of difficulties, of change, breakthrough (but to the positive)."

"You must start again", as Thomas says after the truth has come out. Though Adeyemi sinned gravely long ago, he's not cast out like others, gets to call Tremblay Judas. Which goes with this quote about the Tower being "a dramatic experience, but in retrospect a liberating one."

Sabbadin - Knight of Cups

Upright it's a tactful, diplomatic negotiator. Happy, sincere and intelligent. Charming and idealist. An intuitive dreamer who has a sensitive nature.

Reversed it represents tantrums, moodiness, vanity, and avoidance of conflict. Emotions take too much control, inability to take action.

Sister Agnes - Knight of Pentacles

An industrious, practical, reliable, and efficient person. Stoic, hard-working and committed. A teacher, who utilises practical knowledge and skills. Providing order and regularity. Caring.

Reversed it can be a workaholic.

O'Malley - Two of Wands

Discovery. A planner who makes decisions, searches for knowledge and waits for results. But also a card that warns of possible stagnation.

Reversed it's about overanalyzing, avoiding risks and playing it too safe.

Sister Shanumi - Six of Swords

This card can mean "unexpected journey". It's about deartures, leaving things behind and circumstances changing for the better. Both an actual journey, or an inner change. An acceptance of lessons, the act of moving on.

Reversed it's about returning to trouble, being stuck in the past, being trapped.

This also seems to work with her arc through the film, though she's trapped and forced to confront her past by Tremblay and/or THL.

Wozniak - The Hermit

A major Arcana for a minor character... The Hermit is about self-reflection, introspection, contemplation, withdrawal, solitude, and search for self.

In reverse it's about loneliness, isolation, being an anti-social recluse, but also returning to society.

As it's about trusting in one's own strength, it parallels well with Wozniak's introspection and self doubts that led him to break his promise and speak up about Tremblay, followed by his walking out of the Vatican as the doors shut behind him, isolating him from the life he'd led at the Pope's side.

[nakidoriii]

Stone or Lavender (Part One)

Kungami x Fem!Reader Mini Series (mentions of Chigiri x fem!reader)

Warning: flirting, mostly fluff, adult themes || MDNI

Summary: You and your best friend are studying psychology abroad at a university in Japan. You cross paths with Kunigami, who saves you from getting hit by a soccer ball. He uses that as an excuse to ask you to hangout which you accept. He has such a gentle and kind demeanor unlike most jocks that you’ve met. But is that just a front?

Art: Pinterest (if you know the artist tag them!)

It was your second spring in Japan. Last year, you made the decision to study abroad and attend a university in Japan. The school happily accepted you considering that you had stellar grades and an extensive background in music. You had just finished practicing piano for the day. The sun was just beginning to set. You took your usual route home, passing the soccer field on the way. The players were out practicing as per usual.

“CHIGIRI, PASU (pass)!” A deep voice yells.

You keep walking, wanting to watch them play but too nervous they might say something to you. You stare down at your phone, texting your best friend.

“KIWOTSUKERO (Watch out)!” That same deep voice yells.

You look up and see a soccer ball coming straight at you. You froze and didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, one of the players ran in front of you in time and blocked you from getting hit.

“Anata wa kanojo ni hobo butsukatta (you almost hit her).” He says as he kicks the ball back to the magenta haired player.

His kick was so….powerful.

“Thank you for saving me…gomen’nasai… Watashi o sukutte kurete arigatō. Daijōbu desu ka? (sorry… Thank you for saving me. Are you okay?).” You say getting his attention.

He turns around and faces you. He was really cute. His ginger hair was sticking to his forehead due to him sweating. He towered over you even though you weren’t a short girl. He had to be around 6’2. He smiles at your comment and says, “Hurt from a weak kick like that? Nah, it’ll take a lot more than that. Are you okay?”

Oh, you love his confidence! And he’s bilingual like you! He knows you’re not from here just by looking at you. You nod your head yes and say, “Right!”

He notices you holding a binder with music notes all over it and points at it in your hands. “I always see you carrying that binder. What instrument do you play?”

‘Always see me? Has he noticed me before?’ You think.

“Piano and I sing.” You answer confidently.

“You must be good. You answered so confidently. I’d love to hear you.” He states.

“As a thank you for saving me, I’ll play you for you anytime.” You tease.

“How about tomorrow? I’m free from practice.” He asks.

“Sure, you can meet me in front of the music building at 4pm.” You say as you hug on your binder.

“I’ll be there. I’m Kunigami, by the way. Kunigami Rensuke. What’s your name?” He asks, playing it cool.

“L/N, F/N. Nice to meet you.” You say.

“Nice to meet you too. I’d ask to exchange contact information but I don’t have my phone on me so I'll get it from you tomorrow, kay?” He says looking down at you.

“I look forward to it.” You say.

“Me too, see you then.” As he runs back on the field, you take notice of his jersey number, 9.

You continue your walk, trying to hide your smile as you walk past him and the rest of his team mates. Once the coast is clear, you call your best friend. You met her through a chatroom, during your freshman year of highschool. Her username was kittybabez and yours was memeow. You two bonded over manga, food, and your love for cats. Because of the usernames, you call her Kat and she calls you Mimi. Since you lived across the world from Kat, you had never met her person until you two got accepted to study abroad in Japan. Your relationship grew stronger once you moved in together. Kat was a couple inches shorter than you and wore her hair in braids most of the time. You both were psychology majors, however you specialized in music therapy.

“Hey love, are you on the way home?” Kat says as she answers the phone.

“Yes, I am. You will not believe what just happened to me, Oh my God!” You say out of sheer excitement.

“I’m listening…”

“A soccer player just saved me from a ball hitting me!! He asked me if I was okay and I was like ‘yea’, and I asked if he was okay…which was stupid because… duh he plays soccer… I’m sure he gets hit all the time…. anyway, he was like ‘a weak kick like that!? Nahhh, it’ll take a lot more to hurt me.’ I DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW HE KICKED THE BALL BACK!! HE'S SO STRONG!!! Okay, okay…the moral of the story is that he wants to watch me play piano tomorrow after classes AND he said he wants my contact info tomorrow.” You ramble.

“GIIIIRRRLLLL, what’s the number on his jersey? I’m looking him up on the uni website. I have to see what he looks like.” She says, laptop ready to go.

“Number 9. His name is Kunigami.” You say.

You hear her typing on the other end of the phone until she goes, “Mimi, he’s your type. DON’T suck his dick in the practice room.” She jokes.

“Remind me to never tell you anything ever again.” You say with a straight face.

Kat bursts out laughing and says, “Hurry up and come home so we can have dinner!!!”

“I’m almost there! Be there in 5!” You say as you hang up the phone.

You spend the rest of your walk thinking about how tomorrow will go. You never thought you’d be into the jock type but Kunigami was different. Obviously, you don’t know this man but he had a gentle demeanor about him. You couldn’t wait to talk to him again and learn more about him. Once you get home, you take off your shoes at the door and say, “I’m home.”

“About time. We have to address the elephant in the room. What are you wearing when you see Kunigami?” She says coming out of her room.

“Do you think I should go preppy or casual? I want to be authentic and not get all dressed up for the first hang out.” You say setting your bag down on the couch.

“Then wear what you usually wear. I think you should show your legs though. If he plays football, he’s probably got a thing for nice legs and you got ‘em.” She says.

You gasp and let out a, “Oh my god!”

“WHAT!” She jumps.

“I called it soccer, not football.” You whine. You didn’t realize that you said neither to him actually.

Your friend rolls her eyes and laughs.

“I’m sure he clocked that you’re American just by talking to you. Don’t sweat it! Let’s go pick out this outfit.” Your friend says as she drags you to your room.

************************NextDay*********************

“Behave yourself, Mimi. You hear me?” Kat says as she fixes the silver clips in your locs.

You ultimately decided to wear a white sweater that hugs your figure and falls slightly off your shoulder. You paired that with a pleated grey miniskirt skirt and Doc Martin boots.

You roll your eyes as you groan the words, “I hear you...”

“Your ass is not listening.” She laughs as she finishes primping you. “He should be here soon. Nervous?”

“Kinda, but I'm more excited. It’s the same feeling I get before a performance.” You admit.

In the distance, you see Kunigami and a magenta haired guy with him. You tap Kat’s shoulder and nod in their direction. She raises her eyebrows and whispers, “Did he bring a team mate?”

“Looks like it.” You whisper back.

Once they get close enough, you turn in their direction and wave.

“Y/N.” Kunigami says as he walks up to us.

“Hey, hero! Glad you could make it. This is my friend, [name], but I call her Kat.” She waves and makes eye contact with Kunigami’s friend.

You and Kunigami both notice they’ve locked eyes.

“Nice to meet you. This is Hyoma Chigiri, one of my teammates.” Kunigami says.

“You can call me Chigiri.” He states.

“I brought him here to apologize to you. He’s the one who kicked the ball that almost hit you.” Kunigami says while giving death eyes to him.

“Keyword, ALMOST.” Chigiri says.

Kat giggles a bit, not expecting thin to be so sassy. He folds his arms and tosses his hair out of his face.

“Princess…” Kunigami threatens.

“My baaaddd.” He sings a half ass apology.

“All good, Chigiri.” You respond.

“Wellll, I’m gonna get going! I have some studying to do. Nice meeting you both.” Kat says while looking up at Chigiri.

He looks at her and says, “Are you going to the library because I was headed there.”

“Yea, you wanna join me?” Kat says with a smile on her face.

“Sure.” He answers softly.

And just like that, we set our friends up. Once we went our separate ways, you took Kunigami into the music building. Musicians were looking him up and down, confused why a jock was in here. Kunigami didn’t care one bit, he was too focused on you.

“Have you ever been inside the music building?” You ask.

“No, I haven’t.” He responds

“It’s really nice, I’ll have to give a tour sometime. When there’s less people. I’d hate to interrupt someone’s rehearsal.” You say as you hold your student ID up to the door to unlock it.

You walk into the practice room with Kunigami. It’s a tight space. Just enough room for an upright piano, piano bench, and a music stand.

“Damn, this room doesn’t have an extra chair but the piano bench is long. You’ll have to sit next to me while I play.” You say as you set your tote bag down.

“I wanna watch you first. Go on, serenade me.” He says leaning against the upright piano.

“What emotion do you want to feel?” You ask as you massage your hands.

“What?” He’s confused.

“What emotion do you want to feel?” You ask again.

Kunigami thinks for a moment as says, “A rush..of some sort?”

You nod your head and gently place your hands on the keys. At that moment, Kunigami started to feel something intense from you. Your energy completely changed.

“This is Libertango by Astor Piazolla.” You say.

You started off loud, playing arpeggios down the entire piano. This intrigued Kunigami, triggering goosebumps on his arm. The left hand held the rhythm while the right hand played chords, building up intensity. You looked up at him for a moment, and smiled. Fast staccato notes come from your right hand. Kunigami's eyes grew wide as he realized just how fast your hands were moving. This speed reminded him of Chigiri. Kunigami swore there wasn’t a key you didn’t touch. You stop… and come back with both hands playing on the higher end of the piano. Kunigami had never seen anyone play this impressively. You were making him feel emotions only a match would make him feel. Eventually, both hands travel down to the bass clef, playing deeper notes. He felt you struck the keys with the same amount of force one of his kicks took. You stop again, teasing Kunigami. You smile at him and start playing the same melody, but faster. He raised his brows out of shock. You had successfully convinced this man that you and him are cut from the same cloth. You ended the piece with a glissando and a crash of a chord.

“How was that?” you ask.

Kunigami started clapping and nodding his head. You stand up and curtsey, holding the hem of your pleated mini skirt in your fingers.

“Beautiful and talented. I haven’t heard anything like that before. I mean, I listen to music but that made me feel so…much.” He said.

You cover your face to hide the fact that he made you blush. He was so gentle when he spoke to you, it made you feel butterflies in your stomach.

“Thank you. Now I have to come to one of your games so I can see your genius.” You say sitting back down in front of the piano.

Kunigami wastes no time and says, “It’s two weeks from today.” He slides his phone out his back pocket and sits down next to you on the piano bench. “Let me send you the details. Get your phone.”

You lean over, grabbing your phone out of your tote bag. You two trade contact information and he texts you the details for the game.

“You put a music note next to your name, how cute.” He says as he stares at his phone. He slides his phone in his back pocket and looks at you.

You two start talking to each other while you softly play scales to warm up. You find out he’s in school for sports management and that he has two sisters. That explains his soft side. He claims he knows ‘how the feminine mind works’ because of them. That statement alone made you belly laugh. He retracted his statement once he realized he’s talking to a psychology major.

“Okay, maybe I don’t know how EVERY feminine mind works.” He chuckles.

“You should have been a psychology major, Kunigami. You’re the next Sigmund Freud, thanks to your sisters.” You tease him.

“What can I say, I’m a versatile guy.” He says with a laugh.

You shake your head and continue playing your scales. Kunigami starts watching your hands, impressed with how agile you are even during warmups.

“You wanna learn how to play?” You ask.

He looked startled by your question. He rubs the back of his neck as he says, “I’ll try for you. Just to see what your world is like.”

You blush again, playing with the hem of your skirt. “It’s not too difficult, I swear. Hold up your hand.”

He does as you say while facing towards you.

“In piano, your fingers have numbers.” You take your pointer finger and trace the palm side of his thumb. “Thumb is always one.” His hands are huge…. You trace his pointer finger. “Number 2.” Rough but soft to the touch…. You trace his middle finger. “Number 3.” I wonder what his touch feels like…. You trace his ring finger. “Number 4.” His fingers would feel really nice inside… You trace his pinky. “And number 5.”

You thought you were safe from these intrusive thoughts. A piano lesson shouldn’t be sexual but here you are doing exactly that. You couldn’t help yourself. You’ve never attracted a jock let alone been attracted to one.

“A-and the other hand?” He says sheepishly.

“It's the same thing.” You say, turning towards the piano.

You press your legs together tightly, hoping that would alleviate the throbbing between them. You weren’t the only one turned on right now. The truth is, Kunigami was turned on the minute you started playing for him. He was struggling just as much as you were.

“Pretend like you're holding a baseball.” You say as you demonstrate. He copies you. “Now turn your hand upside down and place your finger tips on white keys.” He places his left hand randomly on the piano and you clap for him.

“This feels insane. What do I do now?” He says looking at you.

“Try playing 1,2,3,4,5.” You say.

He played all of his notes fortissimo, way too much force. He was in fact very heavy handed, which caused you to jump from the sudden burst of sound. He notices and stops.

“Too loud?” he says with a nervous smile.

“Alittle, be light on your fingertips. Kinda like how when you dribble a soccer ball, you’re agile, right?” You place your hand on top of his and press down to show him how much pressure.

Kunigami started to blush. You were touching him and talking about soccer, he was in heaven. He was trying to be respectable but the way you touched him like he was delicate, paired with the sweet scent that lingers around you… just being this close was all one big tease for Kunigami. It takes alot for him to lose his chill normally, but you were testing that theory.

“Yea, you have to be… Can I ask you a question?” He blurts out.

“Of course.” You say turning towards him.

“What did you call me when you first saw me today?” His voice dropped into a low hum.

“Hero.” The word slides off your tongue, practically music to Kunigami’s ears. “Because you saved me from the ball,” You felt yourself leaning towards him. “Which I never got to properly thank you for.” You plant your lips gently on his cheek, causing the both of you to blush.

You pulled your head back, your faces still inches apart. You can already hear Kat’s voice in your head, telling you to behave. You’re really trying to…but he’s so cute. The way he’s a blushing mess just because you're close to him. How can such a big guy be so adorable?

“You're welcome.” He says as his eyes dart to your lips.

Your lips were slowly gravitating towards each other until your phone alarm went off, ruining the moment completely. You silence the alarm. You had forgotten that you set it to remind you when you have 30 minutes left in the practice space.

“Time’s almost up?” He asks.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” You reply.

“I should let you practice. I’ve been quite the distraction.” He chuckles as he gets up.

“You could say that but I had fun…” you trail off.

You wanted to invite him out tonight. You and Kat were planning on going to an underground boiler room set. If she and Chigiri hung out at the library, you know she invited him.

“Kon’ya wa aitemasu ka? (Are you available tonight?)” you ask him.

He smiles as you speak in his language .

“Hai…” he responds.

“Dewa, kon’ya oai shimasho? (So I’ll see you tonight?)”

He scoffs and smirks at your comment. You want to see just how bad he wants to see you.

“I want to see you again so no need to be obscure about plans. Text me the details and I’ll be there. Now practice.” He says as he throws his backpack on his shoulder.

“Yes, sir!” You say saluting him.

He laughs and leaves the room. You’re smiling ear to ear, knowing that he likes you just as much as you like him.

Taglist: [open] @zinflo @sphiee

This is chapter one of my Kunigami mini series. Wanted to keep it fluff for this chapter. Expect more adult themes, sexual tension, and smut for chapter 2! You all know how I do things around here LOL

Please do not steal or alter any of my work. ©️

[doodlelesbians]

My self indulgent Flower Husbands headcanon is that Scott's weird epilogue is actually the parts of them that love each other ripped out by the watchers and put in storage. The tragedy of Flower Husbands to me is never that the love wasn't there but that it wasn't made for a death game.

Flower Husbands works pretty well, Jimmy likes being doted on. He likes when someone is afraid for him, helps him build his house, is a little possessive over him. He even likes the bullying, he preens under the attention. Scott likes that Jimmy needs help because he likes feeling in control, of being able to do things for others. He likes that he can needle and show the uglier crueler parts of himself but still be loved because Jimmy doesn't mind. He's a romantic, he likes the idea of a happy domestic ending. Their relationship just doesn't work in the confines of a death game. Jimmy plays rough, he puts himself in unnecessary danger, he wants to get involved in the main skirmishes, he tries to negotiate as equals without the technical skill or resources to back it up. Scott is afraid. He's so aware of the danger and so focused on his own ideas of what the best path forward is. He stifles Jimmy, trying to force him to be comfortable in their little corner. Jimmy chafes even further against this attempt at controlling him, born from Scott's need to have some power over something in a situation they're all pawns in. And they end up hurting each other so much, both by living and by dying, and then they're dead. I think their love is tucked away in that little sliver, a version of the world built exactly in a way Scott can control and Jimmy can do what he wants without the sword of damocles hanging over him. And then in the real world, in the future games, they just have this pit inside them where their love used to be and no matter what they can't feel it anymore. They're aware it once existed. They know it once meant a lot but all they can actually still feel is the hurt.

Jimmy moves on. He finds other things to care about. His emotions burn hot and fast like his lifespan and he's adept at moving on from alliances season after season.

Scott keeps trying to find it. He offers flowers and says I love you and chases Jimmy down because he refuses to obey the game's rules. He never liked the lack of control and choice, didn't kill as the boogeyman, left his soulmate behind. And now, he refuses to let go and accept that the love is gone.

[ohwhatagloomyshow]

Mark, Gemma, Guilt, Grief, and Love

I've seen folks talk about Mark Scout's grief and guilt towards Gemma's death and as someone who is drafting this post while literally sitting in a Master's level social work class called Grief and Loss, and who has lived with complicated grief/prolonged grief disorder (pick your poison for the name), I wanted to make a general post about grief for the fandom to enjoy and hopefully learn from! (I've also written a little about what I will talk about in this post.)

Grief: A natural consequence of love! It is the process of adapting to an enormous change in your life (Note: grief can occur over any single change in your life, at any point. It is not solely related to death!!)

Prolonged and complicated grief: This is a complex, debated diagnosis in the mental health field, because grief is unique to every individual! As a loose and general rule, most folks are able to move through their grief without complications or need for intervention generally within a 12-ish month period. However, anywhere between 7-10% of mourners may develop complicated grief! (I am going to use that term for the rest of this post).

So what is it? Complicated grief is when you can't move forward with your life after your person has died. It's when it still hits you like a freight train when you think about them. It's when you're scared to move on. It's when the pain of that loss becomes the primary way you continue relating to your person. It is a disorder of adjustment. Some important things to note: a few risk factors for developing complicated grief include substance use issues, lack of community, ambivalent feelings towards/conflict with the deceased, unexpected and/or violent death, poor coping skills used during previous traumas/losses, and ego strength. You can see where I'm going with this.

The theory of grief I'm currently studying is focused on four tasks of mourning, developed by William Worden (there's another popular contemporary theory with six tasks, but they're very, very similar to what I'm about to describe). It's important to mention that even if you do not develop complicated grief, you can still spend your entire life cycling through these tasks, as a lot of things come back up as you age and move through life! The idea of complicated grief is that a person gets stuck in one (or more!) of the tasks, so the work is finding why you're stuck and how to move forward through it.

Task 1: Accepting the reality of the loss. This is more than just logical - this is bone-deep emotional.

Task 2: Processing the pain/emotion of the loss. Mark is so clearly stuck in this task - he is nowhere near processing. He is using alcohol to distance himself from his emotions, and he has probably been doing this his entire life.

Task 3: Adjusting to the reality of the loss. Who am I without this person? Am I still a spouse, or am I single? How do I relate to the world now that am living without this person? How am I a different person for having loved (and lost) my person? How does this loss impact my understanding of the world? (This is the one that fucked me up!)

Task 4: Finding a way to live life while maintaining a relationship with the person you lost. A relationship only dies when both people in the relationship are dead. How am I keeping my person in my life while they are gone? How do I keep them with me while I move forward and grow without them? How do I manage forgiveness, for myself and the person I loved and lost?

So what does this mean about guilt? Let's talk about that! One huge thing about complicated grief (in my personal experience at the very least) is that, at a certain point, because you have not built your lost person into your daily-ish life, the way you remember someone is by missing them. Your grief - your frozen-in-time state - becomes your continuing bond. Your pain becomes PROOF that your person lived. It becomes PROOF that you loved them. This distorts itself into "if I'm not grieving, then I did not love. If I let go of my grief, I let go of them, forever."

This can inspire A LOT of guilt, particularly if you had a difficult relationship with the person you lost. We see the end of Mark and Gemma's time together heavily impacted by their inability to talk to each other about the pain of their infertility (which is, itself, a form of disenfranchised grief! It is not, in many places and spaces, a socially accepted or recognized form of grief!!).

HOWEVER, one thing I see repeated a lot, that I would like to very gently challenge here, is that Mark Scout's current relationship with Gemma is based exclusively about guilt, and not about love. And I would just soooo gently like to ask, Why? Why can Mark's journey only be about one emotion at a time? I don't think Mark feels guilty about Gemma's death very much - when asked what he feels shame about, he talks about his childhood dog! Not his wife! He knows he's not responsible for her death. I would argue that Mark's guilt - which, again, he clearly has! - is much more complicated than being just about losing Gemma. I would argue it's about how he allowed things to get. It's about how he handled or mishandled their infertility. It's about his role in the failure of - the distance in - their marriage. It's about how he's (not) managing her death!

What's especially heartbreaking to me about Mark's journey is that we do actually see him start to work through Task 2! He talks about her with Alexa! He has sex with Alexa! He drinks way less on his second, better date! (That's where my pet theory that the severance procedure actually did help with his grief comes in but that's another post). His journey completely changes when he learns - confirms - that Gemma is still alive.

And I would also like to gently push back on: Why can't Mark love both Helly and Gemma? Why must one relationship discussion involve the devaluation of the other? As I mention in the post I linked at the top, I would agree that Mark is not "in love" with Gemma, the way many widows and widowers do let go of that feeling! But why does that suddenly make his relationship with Gemma irrelevant or unimportant? It will be an incredibly complicating factor as he reintegrates and remembers a four year marriage while in love with Helly.

Okay, that last bit was an additional soapbox on my soapbox.

TLDR, Mark lives with complicated grief. It doesn't mean he no longer loves or cares for Gemma, or that his love has been replaced by guilt, or that he's lost the ability to fall in love with Gemma again. It means he has an adjustment disorder and is my blorbo.

I really hope this is a helpful and educational post. I love talking about grief and death, this show was invented just for me, Dan Erikson and Ben Stiller I am free on Saturday, I am free on Saturday Dan Erikson and Ben Stiller if you'd like to talk about grief and loss.

[n0ah-oll1e]

16) if you where in Wl. What would you wish for/would you be corrupted eventually? 

That’s a thought one..

If I where a kid similar to the Cast around 10-11 or so I’d probably wish to be a super cool artist or be able to dance like my father and do performances and stuff ( big theatre kid here)

But if I where to come back I would of wished for either

a)to be more confident in myself.

b) would be too overwhelmed to answer.

c) wish for more time with friends.

I think at least two of the wished could be corruptible.

like becoming to confident to the point of being cocky or egotistical and probably hurting myself or getting someone else hurt because I just could not take caution in general. ( I’m already a clumsy person) 

I feel like wishing for more time with friend would also backfire in the way the Iggy clones did with them just being clones/copies and assuming I didn’t specify who that could bring up old old childhood friends with which I have no contact or not good relationships then and that would end terribly to, more so just kinda awkward.( but not really smt that could corrupting)

Honestly not wishing for anything would probably just still somehow get me killed if it where in the same timeline to the others or other people in general, so basically just ending up and in an already corrupted Wonderland would probably get me killed. 😭

17) made chard in other games or pic-crew?

I don’t think I have?

I mean I’ve created alternate versions of them, but that’s in a different format not a game.

If I where I’m my gacha phase maybe there, but I don’t play enough games with good character selections to make something like that and I don’t use pic-crew often so sadly no.😭

18) fav ow ship?

Oooooohh, I’m gonna add dynamics to it too cause I wanted to yap about this a while back

I’d like to say I’d be pretty indifferent between Iggy and any of the three options you’d have but I think the way the game was made,makes my brain subconsciously always go for Genzy first even with picking all the options anyway.

Because at the time, the first time playing it he seemed like the ’best’ option, sure he was a jackass to Orlam but at the time they both seemed to have a mutual hatred at least.

He also accepted that Gidget liked Iggy and that he probably didn’t have a chance during the very beginning.

Later they all evolved anyways, but I feel like my brain was originally conditioned because I just felt the most drawn to Genzou and I saw him the most in arc one which then split off when the other characters got like their own little Iggy moment in each ark until the last one.

So I’d say genzy is up there

Orlam and Iggy were a nice dynamic during his arc,he’s like the very touchy friend but understood Iggy‘s boundaries during their ending arc with Iggy were they both ruled, which also brought it up there.

Orlam and Cecil where also I nice dynamic and I remember someone making them poly with Gidget and now that’s gonna keep me up at night for new ideas to draw and headcannons,

It genuinely opened my eyes to this option and I am so happy because Gidget and Orlam give me the vibe of like two evil Besties at least during the ark where they were still corrupted and Cecil being the very sound middle ground for the both of them is kind of funny to me. They’re actually all cuties.

So I guess Orlam/Cecil/Gidget is up second

And Hunar and Bucks are here too of course! 

When I first got to know them,the relationship felt like the high school sweethearts that didn’t go exactly as planned because everything revolved around the relationship, to the point that they didn’t get to do what they wanted to do in life.

And then after the arc when everything started over, it was nice to see them take their time to do something small and really wanting to concentrate on what they want to do, with the relationship still being there in the same way when leavening a town and you come back and it feels refreshing. Idk if that makes sense.

I think Iggy and Gidget isn’t bad at least after the Arcs but at first it had left a sour taste when thinking about it to long.

those two make a very good pair that work well together and are nice and supportive of each other .

I think every single pairing that has and hasn’t been named are good since each of the chars have their own flaws, including Iggy, having a just Bad or good person works but they are morally gray like a person is, which I think is hard to do in a game or book or any media.



Also although I don’t ship them I like the dynamic with Orlam and Genzou because they still did kinda care for each other but in the same way if they would’ve been in like an actual relationship at least doing the Arcs it would’ve been very toxic, I think they kind of bring out the worst in each other at least if they were in a relationship.

I often see the two as those friends that have a relationship build on hatred.

They still do care for each other but the way they show it is calling each other names pushing each making fun of each other and not taking it too heart as much,or at least not showing that they do, but still end up standing up for each other if needed.

Wow that was a long yap.



And now for the 2nd part of my anniversary celebration... 30 Days of Our Wonderland! A set of silly and/or thought-provoking prompts about the game and chars for a full month of OW!

I'll be answering them each day. Feel free to join in if you want to! Either creating your own posts or reblogging this one, etc. I'll be using the hashtag #30DaysofOW for all of my answers.