#even different kpop idols do fun things as best friends

[emeraldbabygirl]

I hate that everytime I see a video or a picture or whatever of a guy and a girl together, (unless it’s like a sibling or cousin or mum and son or something that’s obviously not a family relationship) I always assume they are dating. Like friendship never crosses my mind and it’s so stupid, like??? Just because they are the opposite sex or just because they seem close or just because they are in the same pic together does not mean they are together. It’s so annoying. I’ve done it with idols and luckily have been right about it being a gf or whatever but why can’t I just see two people as friends.

Like friends are wonderful friends are they coolest things in the world actually friendship is the most wholesome thing ever and I think all friends whether it’s the opposite sex or not should be allowed to hang out and be close and do fun things together whenever and act as goofy or as serious as they want without people (me) assuming they are an item.

Like there’s a few guys at my job and we are kinda friends I think but there’s a part of me that’s constantly asking “what if he like like me?” And it’s super annoying like I’ve had guy friends in middle school and high school and I have a few online guy friends and that’s great that’s wonderful I like to have some friends that are guys I would love to have some guy friends that I can hang out with and be close with like in every wholesome fanfic ever, like some people do. But sometimes I ask myself the same question, “what if they like me” AND THAT DOESNT WORK IF THEY ARE GAY BRUH 💀💀💀

I had a friend, a guy friend and we only kinda were friends when I was in high school cause I spent like 4 years crushing on him and not saying a word. But it was awkward for me cause I like like him and he got a gf freshman year so I was jealous and didn’t know how to stay friends with someone who was in a relationship WHICH IS ANOTHER THING LIKE ITS OKAY TO DATE AND HAVE FRIENDS COME ON NOW WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I don’t know if my experience makes it hard for me to understand that it’s okay to be friends without it turning into a relationship or if it’s something else but I hate it.

I see people all the time all social media with their friends of the opposite sex and they are friends you guy this is totally okay and cool I would love to have a guy friend that I am super close and comfortable around and we can joke and do fun things together, I would like to have friends that I can actually go out and see and hang out with but I can’t cause that requires driving and traveling and being alone and being smart and I HAVENT UNLOCKED THAT LEVEL YET 😤

I love to see people talk about their friends and how much they love and appreciate their friends. I love that I want to have that, I have that, I have lady friends that I very much f heckin love and adore and appreciate a lot and I wish I could see them and do fun things with them but I want to have a guy friend that I can do that with and not question if we would date or anything romantic I want a fun and light hearted friendship! I SEE IT OFTEN! AND I WANT IT! I want to have friends that are friends and we do fun things I am a broken record player but IT IS OKAY TO BE FRIENDS AND BE CLOSE AND TELL EACH OTHER SECRETS AND DO THINGS LIKE TRAVEL AND EAT TOGETHER AND HAVE IT NOT BE ROMANTIC PLATONIC IS FANTASTIC WE LOVE HER ITS MY FAV SONG BY SNUPER I NEED TO BE OUT IN THE WORLD AND EXPERIENCE ✨ FRIENDSHIP ✨ I am afraid. I am afraid to meet someone and they end up being a bad person or a murderer. I want to have..ugh, y’all get the point. I get lonely both like in a “I want a romantic relationship” and a “I WANT TO SEE FRIENDS AND HAVE FUN AS FRIENDS RELATIONSHIP.” Being online all the time and constantly craving attention and recognition from the numbers is tiring and exhausting and boring and stupid. I want to go outside and meet people that I am comfortable with and go out driving or a picnic, like nsb did I may think they are all coconuts but the friendship they have is wholesome and wonderful and I want that. I want one of two or maybe a small group of friends and we can go on adventures together I crave that and when the pandemic was starting and everything was shut down I really felt lonely but now that things are open again and people are hanging out I’m still lonely.

I have internet friends from around the country and world which is awesome to me I love to have a diverse friend group and I would love love to meet them all and do fun things together buT I NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AND I CANT FUNCTION ALONE 😭😭😭😭 I have home friends from school that want to hang out with me and I love that idea so much and I really really want to do it but something is holding me back and Idk if it’s cause I’m scared or cause I can’t drive or cause I still ask my mum for permission for things and I’m afraid to say “hey mum I’m doing this” I’m always “mum can I do this” BUT EVEN MY MUM I WANT TO DO FUN THINGS WITH LIKE TAKE HER OUT TO EAT OR GET OUR NAILS DONE LIKE A SPA DAY BEFORE SHE COMPLETELY LOSES HER SIGHT ugh. I feel trapped sometimes. I get jealous seeing friendships I just ugh I’m done y’all get it.