#even bakugou and uraraka knew they were just caught in an infinite loop of mutual pining

[ishkabibblebafflegab]

the ‘When the Frig Will Kacchako Happen Pool,’ ftg. class 1-a and precisely one supercilious blonde buttface

so.

a darling flamingo made of confetti recently commented on ‘a feat equal,’ the centerpiece story of my kacchako-steeped floaty ‘splodey-verse, demanding to know how big the ‘when will kacchako FINALLY FREAKING SMOOCH’ pool (which was revealed to’ve existed for...a while in the last chapter of ‘afe’) had gotten in the year-plus since it was started.

which got me thinking.

here’s my answer (and i’m convinced this is how *any* class 1-a spearheaded kacchako pool would play out, in my fic universe or otherwise):

LET'S BE REAL THAT POT WAS SWOLE AF

YOU KNOW HOW THESE AMAZING 1-A ASSHOLES LIKE TO ESCALATE

KIRISHIMA LAYS DOWN 5,000 YEN TO KICK THINGS OFF, GOOD-NATURED-LIKE

*SMAP* MINA SEES THAT BET AND FUCKIN' DOUBLES IT

TSUYU DEADPAN WONDERS IF THIS IS THE SORT OF THING RESPONSIBLE, LAW-ABIDING HEROES SHOULD BE DOING WITH THEIR MONEY AS SHE SCROLLS THROUGH HER PHONE'S CALENDAR AND CALLS IT AT SIX MONTHS POST-'DREADFUL SPECTACLE'

SERO'S ON HIS OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME AND LIVING EXPENSES ARE A THING HE'S LEARNED THE HARD WAY HE HAS TO BUDGET FOR AND IF HE PUTS IN HE'LL BE EATING RAMEN AND TAKING COLD SHOWERS FOR A FULL MONTH --BUT HE FEELS *REALLY GOOD* ABOUT NEXT MAY

DEKU'S MUMBLING TO HIMSELF ABOUT VARIABLES AND DETERMINANTS AND MATRICES AND MATCHING EVERY BET LAID DOWN AS HE COOKS UP THE FIRST BATCH OF SIDE POTS (WILL IT HAPPEN ON OR OFF THE JOB? WILL URARAKA OR BAKUGOU MAKE THE FIRST MOVE? WILL THEY TRY TO HIDE IT? ETCETC)

TODOROKI HAS VIRTUALLY NO ACTUAL INTEREST IN THE OUTCOME, BUT DECIDES TO PARTICIPATE BECAUSE DEKU SEEMS EXCITED ABOUT IT

IIDA DOES *NOT* CONDONE GAMBLING, BUT IF THIS IS HAPPENING IN SPITE OF HIS FERVENT OBJECTIONS HE MAY AS WELL MAKE A SPREADSHEET

MOMO AND SATOU PREPARE REFRESHMENTS AT THE MONTHLY CHECK-INS, AND THREE MONTHS IN, MOMO CONGENIALLY OFFERS TO DOUBLE WHATEVER THE FINAL AMOUNT IS IF THE POOL CONTINUES BEYOND A CALENDAR YEAR

TOKOYAMI PROSAICALLY PROCLAIMS THAT HUMAN EXISTENCE IS BUT A BRIEF PINPRICK OF LIGHT BETWEEN TWO ETERNITIES OF UNFATHOMABLE DARKNESS, AND DECRIES THE VERY NOTION OF BETTING ON THAT MOST PROFOUND AND INTIMATE OF EPHEMERA, LOVE (HE ALWAYS PAYS HIS MONTHLY STIPEND EARLY)

URARAKA HAS A HABIT OF POURING HER FEELINGS OUT TO KODA'S BEST RABBIT BRO ON HER LUNCH BREAKS AND/OR AFTER POST-WORK DRINKS, THE SUBSTANCE OF WHICH KODA NEVER ASKS HIS BRO TO DIVULGE, THOUGH HE DOES SEEK THE RABBIT'S ADVICE ON WHEN AND WHERE TO PLACE HIS BETS

HAGAKURE ADMINS THE GROUP CHAT AND INCENTIVIZES 'STRETCH GOALS'

SHOUJI DOESN'T PARTICIPATE WITH HIS MONEY, BUT HE OFFERS TIPS AND OBSERVATIONS IN THE GROUP CHAT

MINETA SHITPOSTS CONSTANTLY UNTIL HE GETS HIMSELF BANNED --FROM THE CHAT AND FROM THE CONTEST (ALTHOUGH HIS CONTRIBUTIONS UP TO THAT POINT ARE OBVIOUSLY FORFEIT)

AOYAMA MAKES NO DIRECT FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTIONS AND PLACES NO ACTUAL BETS, BUT HE PURCHASES A NEW, EXTRAORDINARY VINTAGE BOTTLE OF WINE EVERY MONTH TO DONATE TO THE WINNER

MONOMA PUTS IN MONTHLY FOR THE 'IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN' SIDE POT HE'S GOT ALL TO HIMSELF (HOW HE EVEN FOUND OUT ABOUT THE POOL IN THE FIRST PLACE IS A POINT OF BAFFLING CONTENTION)

KAMINARI OFTEN AND SHAMELESSLY BORROWS MONEY FROM BAKUGOU TO ANTE UP

SHINSOU, LIKE TODOROKI, HAS LITTLE VESTED INTEREST IN THE OUTCOME OF THE POOL, BUT IS SECRETLY TOUCHED HE WAS ASKED TO PARTICIPATE AND CONTRIBUTES TO A HANDFUL OF THE SIDE POTS

OJIROU ABSTAINS FOR AS LONG AS HE'S ABLE TO REFUSE HAGAKURE'S DOGGED SOLICITATIONS THAT HE TAKE PART IN THIS CRUCIAL 'CLASS BONDING' EXERCISE, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE FULL-GROWN ADULTS WITH JOBS NOW AND THEY ALL *WORK TOGETHER* AND STILL HANG OUT CONSTANTLY AND JUST...THE LOGIC OF HER APPEAL IS AS INVISIBLE AS SHE IS (HE LASTS FIFTEEN MINUTES)

AIZAWA IS ASKED ONCE AND NEVER AGAIN

JIROU'S TOO COOL FOR THIS POOL: SHE CALLS APRIL OF THE YEAR FOLLOWING AND REFUSES TO PONY UP ANY OF HER MONTHLY DUES, CLAIMING THAT IF SHE LOSES SHE'LL PAY THE LUMP SUM ALL AT ONCE, BUT INSISTING THAT SHE'S NOT GOING TO LOSE SO SHE'S NOT WORRIED, EVEN WHEN THE POT SWELLS TO BANK-BREAKING PROPORTIONS

NEEDLESS TO SAY,

JIROU WON HERSELF A SMALL FORTUNE, AND FOLLOWING THE EVENTS OF THE LAST CHAPTER OF ‘AFE,’ THAT GROUP CHAT ABOUT TO BE LIT