#eveline deserves a family that chose her and she chose them (not the other way around)

[delicatebluebirdruins]

Mia's nightmares

a/n some time working for the connections (going off the Kaitai Shinsho guide for it)

this is very self-indulgent, yes, the pictures where needed, yes, I wanted to touch on somethings but writing wise? I am rusty.

small playlist: You shine Carrie the musical; go tell aunt Rhody (both versions original and re7); I found amber run; someday and bullet proof by Godsmack (I wish I could have found acoustic versions); I’ll make it up to you by imagine dragons.

Information on how to handle missing people is really interesting and I included a bit of my research into this.

No beta reader we die like ethan must never die but a huge thank you. To @precambrian-sea-pancake for putting up with me through out all of this. I don’t have the words to describe how grateful I am for their help.

more notes in the tags

2010 March 1st Interview Day. When she went in, she was as prepared as she was going to be. The day was warm for March. The job was entry level with some traveling involved and some desk work. It would also be putting good in the world months of research told her that much... the interview went well and by the end of April she started work and for the few months she was on desk work, and it was normal. Routine. During that time fire drills were very rare and of course the outbreak drills were slightly fewer but still there and it startled them all every time. The implications behind it created a horrible combination of safety and terror that it could happen here in her place of work. After three of these outbreak drills it was decided that all desk workers got put into the combat training course for a few months after that was done, she and a few others were put into advanced combat. For the next few months, she could have sworn she was being followed but it’s a small world you're bound to run into people outside of professional (or educational) places, right? but she didn’t actually recognise the guy when she got a good look at him, it wasn’t from work she was sure of that much, but the recognition remains, and this just seemed to be deliberate...

date night few months later: she was always giddy to see Ethan and they'd been so busy of late. This time it was simple. A takeaway dinner from their favourite place and a walk in the park and they walked past the horse statue and sat next to the pond talking and keeping an eye on the bolder squirrels as they ate their food enjoying its warmth and, talking about everything and looking at the clouds shape. it was the most normal she felt in months. Neither noticed the people watching them.

2011 May after many more dates she and Ethan got married. it was joyful their friends and family there, the favourite photos of the shoot and the gift of the music box from Ethans grandmother was what made her cry. he told her about it how much it soothed him when he was younger and scared of the dark. throughout all of it they don't let go of each other’s hands. As the day slipped away the light flickered into gold and the last pictures of the day were done everyone went home and then so did, they.

2012 She was still being taught combat training and was improving with hand to hand, and her arms training was doing even better. As time went on, she was moved away from desk work and sent out and trained off site for a greater range of terrains like the beach at night (the running she had to do was killer) that specific trip took a few days to recover from. But it all meant she got stronger, and it meant less makeup and less bruises. less things to hide from Ethan (she didn't want to think of the times he grazed a bruise by accident, and she flinched. and how hurt he looked for it) considering the world she felt confident... it was only a matter of time till the next major outbreak shook the news. (And just as quickly the BSAA will take control and the information coming out will be cut off). As it was. The civil war in Edonia and rumors of something being used in combat situations. That fear was reflected on everyone she saw during those months.

Getting home and hearing the soft music playing put a smile on her face the first genuine one in months. approaching quietly, she dropped a kiss on Ethan's head as he played a song that she hadn't heard in a while. dimly remembering the lyrics, she sat next to him and sang softly "What a surprise, gazing into your eyes. I swear that I still get lost in the light. No photograph could possibly show. The you I know" and watched a smile grace his face as it always did when she joined him here, she was glad that he couldn't see her face as she remembered how that song and the story itself ended. Realising what was coming up she had an idea of what to get him.

As time went on her business trips were training of a different kind. She got sent with minimal warning (having to come up with a plausible reason for her leaving that got harder and harder) and a firm order of no personal items. So she also had to think of when to take off and stow her wedding ring she was already worried of losing it. The missions were always how to get items from a certain point to a specific destination unimportant things with different challenges thrown in to distract and horrify her. They did at first but then they didn't as much. On the occasions of people dying (both friend and enemy) her superiors always waved it off with fake blood and hired actors to play dead. That explanation worked for a while, but the nightmares and guilt remained. It wasn’t until she got told that she had completed the training and she was sent out on more serious missions. With real life and death stakes. That she had doubts about the first explanation during the training period there was no difference between the real and the faked. And she got better at seeing the potential pitfalls the traps and sometimes the violence turned her stomach, but she worked through it thinking she was working for the good guys. The trips put their own kind of strain on her relationship with Ethan because she couldn't tell him what she was transporting or anything else and seeing each other so rarely. They had more arguments then ever during this period.

Anniversary one (2012) she got Ethan a few sketchbooks as he was lamenting that he hadn’t had a chance to get any recently. It was simple but then so were they. Ethan had her grandfathers clock fixed. It was a big clock or particularly old but when she was a child she remembered Gappy winding it, remembered when the paint faded the time he spent taking care of it. Time and use had damaged it and it was not easily fixed. And she cried when she realised that she couldn’t fix it. So this meant so much to her.

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Jan 2014 was when she was approached and told she fit the criteria to be brought onto the E-000 project and the world shattered. Alan Droney (the director of the special operations division he introduced himself as) collected her and left outside the door. She went through the blood-soaked bed was out of place in the blinding white room she did not notice the black and the man crying in pain as he cradled what was left of his arm. and the child standing over him. and they all watched as the limb regrew and the sound of the sobbing and the horrible scratching of pen on paper as the stop watches they all had ticked on marking the time for this regrowth to take place, she knew these sights and sounds would follow her into sleep tonight.

snapping to attention as one of the researchers said her daughter was so powerful, wasn't she? the fanatical gleam was even more unsettling than the words somehow then the woman turned her attention turned and she approached the child. Eveline, they called her. they didn't say any names to the researchers they just referred to each other as elements on the periodic table (it felt more like an inside joke at times) the woman with the fanatical gleam was not called anything of the sort she was simply called Maică Superioară. Afterwards the researchers sat with and described what her role will be that the imprinting protocol will be started between her and Evie. With that bond Evie will trust her implicitly and listen to her the most. The pressure and the responsibility for it was immense. She would have an increase in pay. The display when she entered was part of a show. Put on to shock her. A small test for her mind. Another one when she thought about it. They mentioned briefly that there may be a time where she had to transport Evie but didn't elaborate and she wasn't given the chance to ask. Transporting a child, a bioweapon is hugely different then transporting old treasures. She hoped they would give her more training for that event. Listening to the sales pitch and thinking of all it will entail her thoughts cycled. This went from shadiness to beginning to descend into a cave from which there would be no leaving. She wasn’t sure of anything anymore like the companies’ goals anymore or their apparent desire to do good in the world.

She was lucky to get home when she did a week later as rifling through the post, she opened the plain envelope addressed to her and there were pictures of her and ethan in their house, on dates, with friends. the message was clear you are being watched and you know what will happen if he learns anything. Anything at all. She felt like an injured animal cornered by her own thoughts and his concern and love, so she walked out the door and he found her after a bit. the ticking got louder every time he asked what she was hiding from him every time he said she was lying to him... she was relieved at not having to answer as their phones rang but it wasn't over. it never was with Ethan, but he left it alone gave her space, but she could feel his eyes watching her and the feeling of being on a balancing beam that was getting more lopsided every second (she just did her best to avoid him for the next few months)

left to right: Manganese; Boron; Iridium.

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Coming back into work the next day the researchers mentioned the envelope repeating plainly to not tell anyone what she saw with Evie... she felt anxious more than she had ever been before here. There was no official paperwork to sign and there was a threat here. A threat that became all to, clear when weeks later and she and Evie were talking (all the while being watched) and being made to interact more and more when the child said, "you're nicer than the old one" and confused she looked down and the girl smiled and pointed at the wall of pictures the researchers put up (something you can see through the large window of Evie’s room) and in the middle one was of an older woman and Eveline moved her finger to another photo of a man and said that was her husband and then there was another photo of them being covered with mold. They were both turning into the monsters she was being trained to fight. the warning was clear. don't fuck this up.

Home time brought another ominous envelope feeling tense around her shoulders and neck she opened it and it was just bills. but the day was stressful and long and the tears spilled over and didn't stop until Ethan got home. he took in the situation and crouched in front of her gently taking the letter reading it and just understood it was the last straw of a long day. taking her hands and sitting next to her and just being for a bit. then they got supper ready simple and warming then went to bed.

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there were many times where she noticed how the researchers treated Evie. when she started Evie asked her many questions about her family (she mentioned bits but never any names) about the world at large she wondered why (it didn't last long) the other researchers treated her as a tool, to a certain extent Iridium and Manganese were the closest to treating her as a person, and she was never around for Evie's one on one conversations with Maică but knowing the woman she wished she was... Iridium had an ear worm and for weeks on repeat whistled the same song over and over again or worse sang it. Evie sometimes hummed (getting a smile from Iridium) along as well adding to the eeriness of the tune but she didn’t do it often. the lyrics she didn't think much of until they found her at sleep "go tell aunt Rhody old... gander is weeping because his wife is dead" always morphed into "when she’s done, he’ll be torn apart" when that happened, she always woke up always reached for Ethan before stopping as touching him would make him wake and she would have to come up with yet another lie.

She tried not to think how many have died at her own hands during the actual missions she was sent on and the people she heard die whilst she was learning about the d series (the screams and roars echoed) and what happened to them during the nights where that song was the accompaniment. Maică seemed to see her as a rival for Evie’s affections but during this training stage Mia and Evie hadn’t interacted a lot at all. And her looking in on the lessons especially about the ones that would neutralise Evie she always had a terrifying look on her face whenever she happened across these lessons. But the researchers insisted that these lessons were worst case scenario that Eveline was perfect. That there was hope for her looking at Eveline's stony expression Mia didn’t know what to say. The day after training she arrived and was going through the motions of arriving. Getting in putting her stuff in the locker assigned and wishing she had a lab coat as well because it was getting harder to explain to Ethan why she came home in different clothes that she left in. Exchanging a smile with Manganese they pushed through the door and heard the scream. A scream from Maică, and Maică was never anything but calm and distant. No one could think of a time where she had raised her voice let alone screamed. So, they all came running expecting carnage, but nothing was amiss, but Maică just seemed frustrated hugely so. Before anyone could ask anything, she knocked over a tray of syringes making them all jump and left. They didn't see her again for the next two days. Everything changed after that Maică was distant and angry and everyone who had to cross her path did so on eggshells and Evie just seemed hurt and wouldn't speak around anyone but Mia and even then, not like she used to.

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2014 Anniversary third: last years was missed entirely all money and effort were spent in mending their house that was damaged in a storm and they were just busy. But this year busy again but they did manage to get each other something needed as their originals were no longer salvageable Mia gave Ethan a new wallet and he gave her a travelling bag with little extras thrown in. His had a picture from their first date and an old penny that his mum found. It would seem silly to anyone else, but the coin is distinct and had a story behind it.

Home time was something dreaded especially on bad days with Evie. As the rates of accidental infections of the mold became unnervingly frequent. As it was not clear for her what the imprint would mean for her if she was infected... she dreaded bringing baggage home with her, she dreaded his eyes that watched her every move and the invisible axe over Ethan's head. She couldn't bear the sound of ticking now wondering how long it will be before this blew up. they started to bicker and argue. There were many times she felt the words explaining what her job entailed bubbling up and wanting to be shared with him to help them all. The threats were effective though and she felt she could deal with her problem as long as Ethan was safe. The dreams were getting worse. one night a bad one had Ethan screaming begging for something she couldn't hear, and she tried to get to him but couldn't. She was going through treacle and her hands felt sticky and wet looking down realising they were covered in blood. Ethan's blood. Waking she began to reach for Ethan but remembered the dream. She lay down again and turned away from him and waited for the morning.

She didn't want to sleep again that night. when she "woke up" Ethan had already left fixing herself a quick breakfast she noticed a piece of paper on the table and picked it and realised it was a doodle of the horse statue in the park seeing it inspired her. During her lunch break she went out and got a pad of paper and cheap colouring pencils after she smuggled those in once the days testing was done and she was certain they were not being watched. She sat with Evie, and they doodled together for the rest of the day. To start with Evie was content with just shapes and lines as any child would do but she got more confident and drew people as well. It was one of the most normal interactions Evie and Mia has ever had. After they were done Mia hid the pictures under Evie’s mattress and said goodbye to the girl. To Evie however this afternoon meant the world to her. The next few weeks after was terrible though. Manganese didn’t show up for work at all and the others seemed on edge. Mia was kept out of the loop as usual. Then one day he was brought into the lab handcuffed and bruised. Looking like he had been tortured. And shoved to the ground he faced his fate. As Maică and Boron told Evie to take control of him and she did. As they all watched he grabbed a knife and slashed himself repeatedly. All the while this was silent… Mia wanted to stop it, but she knew this mood. It had been all to frequent with Maică recently and her ire would turn on Mia herself if she said anything. It wasn’t until the next day when she heard the reasoning behind this display. He was merely suspected of giving secrets to the BSAA or someone else. They didn’t know for sure. They found something suspicious and jumped straight to executioner. It was something a long time coming.

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October 2014 you would think Maică announcing that was leaving soon would throw a spanner in everything but it stabilised things more than anything else. And considering recent events the loss of Manganese and Iridium being “fired” she felt nervous coming into work the next day. As she entered the head office area leading to the stairs Mia noticed boxes everywhere and people packing them up and moving. She was told that this part of the building was rented out to other businesses, so she thought nothing of it. Turns out they were all moving as Maică and Boron announced Evie would be moved under the care of her and Alan. they weren't told why or why there was only two of them she felt a little confident. She and Evie had a solid rapport, and she and Alan worked well together but still they’d not been in the field with just the two of them and a powerful child. If the powers that be weren't confident in her and especially Alan's (as her superior officer) abilities, they wouldn't be sent at all. Still the doubt and the dread remained. They were given a time and a place. They were to be given an envelope holding their specific orders that was not allowed to be opened until they got onto the tanker. the Annabelle... all she heard in her dreams that night was screaming.

Date night: she was nervous. Worried. She was going to tell Ethan she was leaving on a longer trip tonight and she’d noticed people following her on and off again. And she couldn’t tell who they were working for this time. She heard the rumors that the BSAA was investigating bioweapon manufacturing in the area. She had considered calling them. Many times. But anonymous or not Ethan would still be caught in the middle. Ethan would be in danger. And she couldn’t see it be more or less if she said nothing or something. Hands shaking as she applied makeup to dark circles, she considered Evie what would happen to her. Despite everything she cared for the girl. They were both monsters at this point (especially Mia herself isolating herself from her friends and to a lesser extent Ethan himself) and she wanted to scream at everyone that showed her kindness. She was not able to protect Evie from Maică and her cruel comments (she still did not know anything about the woman other than she used to see Evie as her daughter but there was more to it than that… there had to be).

Especially recent comments. Breathing in and out she finished off her makeup and wanted to get rid of the mask. All of them and a small hope that one day she could… She hoped when it came to it, she could help the BSAA and bring down the connections. Her help would be minimal she had a few names, few places but some knowledge is better than no knowledge… going that way was where madness lies. So, she put it in the overstuffed drawer of pain and horror and tried to ignore it… The café she was going to was nice and Ethan was handsome as ever. She felt like she hadn’t seen him for years so this was so nice. Especially when they left and shared headphones. Less nice was the first song that came on “Oh I'll use you as a warning sign. That if you talk enough sense, then you'll lose your mind.” The song felt very close to raw nerve endings. She was amazed that she didn’t recoil hearing that song. He took the news well as she told him on the way home and taking what felt like a risk told him a little about Evie and he was understandably very confused about the child she was also going to be looking after as well but she just told him it was her boss’s child, and the kid was going to a new boarding school in the same area as where her destination is (he was going to ask where that was but she cut him off. Taking him aback), and they didn’t want her travel on her own just yet. So, it was two birds one stone.

October 3rd Early Afternoon the group gathered together for a photo, and she felt out of place. Maică left not soon after and then they received the envelope and were sent home for last minute packing and so they did. She felt on edge and nervous as she checked her bag. Jumping when Ethan spoke from the doorway and asked (again) why she was lying to him. All she felt looking at him was a lump stopping her from speaking and the never-ending sound of ticking in her head. Even though this time she could actually be more truthful than usual. She said she wasn’t good enough for this trip. This time he only partially believed her… she could tell. In a change of pace Ethan offered to come with her and see her off at the dock. Her panic at Ethan and Evie meeting made her “no” too sharp, a tone she had never used on him, and the gutted feeling of watching Ethan flinch back from her was something she’d never forget. Picking up her wallet and ensuring her driver’s license was inside and putting it in her bag. Which she folded around and put it in the suitcase. As she did that Ethan noticed amongst her things there was nothing for a child in there. But dismissed assuming the kid would be having her own things with her. She backtracked and hoped her panic and fear was not obvious.

That he might come anyway all she said was good enough to make him stay home but not enough to wipe that wounded look off his face. And the sound of the car horn from her taxi prevented further words and there was only just enough time for her to press a kiss to his cheek. Before going outside and getting in the car. Losing sight of home and Ethan who was at the door by that point almost made her cry, but she couldn’t. At all. The last time she had really cried was getting the bills strangely putting that thought to the side she arrived at the dock and smelling the sea and the sounds of shouts and waves. Looking up at the tanker Mia felt miles away already floating in the sea. She hadn’t even left yet but she wanted to go home to talk to Ethan and be completely honest with him, but she was rooted to the ground with the fear of what could happen and of course the feeling of cold fingers on her arm and the tug on her sleeves made her look down at Evie who was looking up at her and then turned and looked at Alan who had his camera out. they stood together and she wondered if her discontent was obvious...

Getting into their quarters she eyed the open envelope that Alan had left for her to read as well. Picking it up with a sigh she began to read through it. It was not long but it still took a reread to understand their duties. She felt sick. Any confidence she had was gone. She had seen Evie take over people with her mold and how she made them act once infected and she felt nervous especially when focusing on that last point... what would make the mission that compromised? she supposed briefly that she would know what is considered to be "beyond reconciliation" when it happens but even then, she has seen Evie infect multiple people in a day, almost simultaneously. That had been her challenge the weeks after Manganese was executed infect multiple people at once. The next few nights she dreamed of screaming and blood and a horrible high-pitched giggle.

She woke up to a beautiful day and Alan and Evie weren't in their quarters... before she could worry, she noticed the note and only slightly relaxed she took the chance and went outside on deck sending a message to Ethan. Without thinking about her actions she pressed record. Something she did not usually do but considering her location and the oncoming storm she wanted it to get through. Starting off she was bright and happy how could she not? She was told her job here was almost done. The brightness dimmed a little as she caught sight of Evie and Alan, and she signed off after telling Ethan that her "babysitting" job would be over soon she brightened up again when she took the chance to say she loved him. She tried to ignore the feeling of foreboding that only got worse when she admitted her role in this was almost done to the camera just before stopping the recording.

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October 5th evening: when everything went wrong nobody else noticed (they would soon enough) to Mia it sounded like waves normal hustle and bustle the storm picking up as she passed a porthole carrying Alan. Evie’s giggle as she ran off. Trying to stem the rising panic getting to their quarters Alan pulled away and collapsed by the sofa. Coughing and weak. She sounded a lot calmer than she was feeling ignoring the panic at Alan’s infection and that she should have gone after Evie before tending to Alan. She crouched next to Alan. Stating the obvious “Alan you’re getting worse.” He admitted it was his fault Evie got out that she heard her own voice agree with him then everything rushed in and became clearer again when she promised Alan that she was not going to let him die and saw Alan reach out to her and felt the cool touch of the vial containing Evie's tissue samples with Alan saying, “you find her- you fix this”. She knew what it meant. Taking the vial, the situation was getting bad, but it could be worse. Fix this was echoing inside her head. She just had to get to Evie in time. So, turning to the door she searched for calm and finding it and the weight of her knife and handgun on her hip said with more confidence then she was feeling breathed in and said "Okay, Evie. Where are you ."

Leaving their quarters, she followed the codex to the kitchen finding the black vomit covering a good part of it cursing she reset the codex and updated Alan who stating the obvious said “this is getting out of hand” but she agreed because he was right. Going down to the bottom level fighting any molded she sees on the way. Going into the second engine room and hearing Evie’s voice from the shadows “are you mad at me mommy?” the response was automatic and truthful “no Evie I’m not mad” she wasn’t mad but as she spoke, she stuttered when the last word registered, and she felt wary and confused and wanted Evie to elaborate “wait what did you call me?” and with a pleading voice Evie continues with “I don’t want to live at the lab anymore. I want a house. And I want you to be my mommy” listening to Evie’s voice, Mia said something that she hoped would work “okay Evie I’ll be your mummy. come back with me right now.” It didn’t and Evie ran off again giggling with Mia’s over voice saying “Evie wait” as the Annabelles blaring sirens started up. Warning off the molded or the storm that was upon them? She thought. It was both. Leaving the engine room, she contacted Alan. “Did you find her?” Alan asked straight away her frustration was there “Yes but she ran off. she’s making more friends Alan; those things are everywhere.” More Coughing came from Alan. He did not sound good… he waved off her concern reminding her she has a job to do “you just worry about getting Eveline back.”

Making the trek back to their quarters to grab more ammo and check on Alan. Found Alan not there. Calling him lead nowhere there was no answer, and she left a message then she noticed the wall and the writing on it. It looked like blood all it said was “Evie’s upstairs.” Leaving going upstairs entering the corridor with Alan hunched over leaning against the wall (she only distantly noticed the open e Necrotoxin case near him). How did he get up here? She asked him that but all he said was “where’s Evie” updating him that Evie’s condition was deteriorating. All he said was “good thing I’m already dying” feeling desperate she pleads, not quite grasping how futile it was “don’t say that.”

A look comes over Alan’s face she hasn’t seen before or how to describe it really as he says "She trusts you. That little bitch, she never—” Getting up moving away from her spinning side to side looking at something she cannot see he begs “No, Evie, I—Evie—I didn't mean to call you that, Evie." Realising what was happening she spoke as clearly as possible “Alan, listen! She's trying to take control. You have to fight her”.

But it was too late, and he started to scream as the mold appeared on his body seeping through skin and clothes and vomiting it up. As he looked back up Mia turned her attention to Evie. It was instinctual to grab Alan as he was reaching forward. Her hands, on his shoulders ignoring the coldness of the mold she commanded “Eveline, stop! Stop right now!" trying to help them all. But it was too little the imprinting bond should have made this impossible and now it was too late. Alan realising, she was touching him yelled "Don't touch me!"  Pushing her as far away from him as he could but it wasn’t enough as she watched the mold consume his body and he collapsed. She saw the codex flashing red before his arm moved and Alan died. And then she saw Evie’s boots and a silhouette of arms swinging in the air before stilling as mold formed around her and Mia felt it cover her head and face screaming as the world went black… she did not know how long she was out if it all, but she became aware of her surroundings again looking down at her hands the macabre lace gloves of mold covering them. Getting up and panting watching as the mold sank into her skin. Leaving her normal hands behind. Not so normal.

Feeling Evie call for her, she began to follow it but first she noticed the bright light of the laptop. The brightest thing here. Fighting against the summons she went to it and sat down. Clenching her fist she pressed the record button, and this final message. Because one way or another she was going to die soon. She said “Ethan...” closing her eyes shaking herself. Panting as the calling became stronger, she continued “You were right. I did lie to you. I shouldn't have, but—” confirming his suspicions with that sentence and dooming him She closed her eyes again as Evie’s call was insistent “All I can say is that if you get this...” begging she said the words “Stay away. Forget that you ever knew me. Have a good life." She wanted him to live. She wanted him to move on when she was gone. Finishing the recording she stepped away from the laptop and continued on thinking she had pressed send but she hadn’t and in her desperation and Evie calling for her she didn’t think about the storm outside... Unbeknownst to Mia when she was buffeted by the wind it also hit the laptop sending it crashing to the ground and broken.

Going through the next door she caught up with Evie. Hearing the sound of running and screaming she put her arms up to defend herself as the crew member appeared and just as he was about to run into her exploded. As he did so Evie appeared and before Mia could say anything Evie promised in the most sinister voice Mia had ever heard from her “We’ll be together forever” As the siren lights flashed highlighting areas in red a blast of wind whipped down the corridor and the windows exploded. For the first time really feeling the power of the storm outside the walls of the ship broke apart. Mia felt herself slipping and grabbing for purchase but finding none found herself falling. Gripping onto an exposed pipe she looked up as if the power of her stair would keep her stable on the slippery metal, then she saw the falling bodies. As one went past, she felt it and it made her lose her grip. Looking down at the raging see she caught a glimpse of a gash on her arm but catching sight of a fire she looked up as the top exploded then she heard more closer to her. She looked up as something above her exploded and her grip was lost, and she fell. Her last look was of the ship and trying to keep afloat fighting the inevitable, but the storm was stronger, and she lost. The sea swallowed her. Fading in and out of consciousness she saw the colours of fire and the ships destruction before she lost consciousness entirely.

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Back home master bedroom 9th October 2014 A tanker ship was missing. Due to a storm. He didn’t think much of it at the time. Ethan was sitting on their flooring rummaging through papers and thought about Mia and her everything, little things like how jumpy she was how paranoid at times. And bigger things like the bruises and being vague about what she was doing. At the start she told him a lot but since the bruises started appearing. She began lying to him. And now he didn’t know what to think especially looking at the letter he was holding. The one with a threat against him. Before anything solidified in his head a loud knock sounded downstairs and opening the door, he found two men who introduced themselves as police officers asked to come in. and they talked about how in reviews of lists they found Mia’s name among the missing from the ship Annabelle. He closed his eyes as they told him they knew no more than that and left after telling him they will be back with more information when they get more for it. Few hours later a different set of police officers appeared in uniform said the same thing and Ethan didn’t say anything about the first pair. He didn’t think it was bad just poor department communication. But the look in the police officers’ eyes when he didn’t react as expected (because he already knew) was suspicious. With the same promise they left.

October 10th onwards Ethan began to look at the news slowly but surely putting information together as it became known. He looked at the list of names available Captain Ed Carlile to the Physician Gerald Waddel. He felt useless reading them. The investigators only gave him so much especially when their investigation was focused on him it was hard and relationships were damaged if not severed entirely because of it but that investigation only lasted a month and 1 week. But the damage was irreparable for everyone… he had a hard time trusting everyone in uniforms after that. It was a hard time for everyone, at the meetings of families who had also been affected by the Annabelles disappearance (people like him) he didn’t like hearing the arguments between those who thought their loved ones were dead and others thought they were alive and the amount of work they had to put in to making sure everything is safe for when… if they return. And of course, his situation and three others of being suspected of having something to do with it was still hard… in 2015 a few of the families decided to get a presumption of death certificate in March. Ethan heard their reasoning and understood why they were doing it but couldn’t take part, he and a few others still had hope. But they all went to support their friends, misery loves company and watching the argument take place was that indeed. That whilst it’s been less than a year the disappearance of a ship in a hurricane and coastal rescue teams finding nothing is good enough reason to believe they’re dead… It was not long later when Ethan and the others did the same. It was easier for them. They knew what to expect and there had been more time.

The day was warm, and the sun was shining, and he looked at the simple gravestone he and the others put together with the names that they knew. People who had families and friends. Mia Winters was towards the end. The others were obscured by flowers. He looked at his wedding band. The gleam in the sun, felt the engraving and took it off. Putting it in his pocket and going to a home that no longer felt like it.

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It was decided that they move back to the old facility. It was deemed safe. The leaks potential and actual were plugged. Going downstairs the gloved hands holding hers let go when they went through door into the room with a window. It wasn’t anything different then what she had been in before. It wasn’t until she was left alone, and the lights dimmed, she sat on the bed. Lay down on the thin mattress and heard a rustle. Getting up she reached under and found what had made the noise. Pictures of things she hadn’t seen before or heard of. She could barely make out the name on some “Eveline” and Mia was on the others. She didn’t know the names, but she knew that Eveline was her sister she wondered who Mia was (she hadn’t been introduced to her caretaker yet). Realising that made her… happy. She carefully put the papers back under mattress, the rustle meaning that she wasn’t alone. She lay down again and fell asleep. And had nice dreams for once. The girl was called Elora and she had no idea what was coming next.

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Chris Redfield read the file that was placed on his desk, then again, the third time he was able to read what was actually on the pages outside of “Blue Umbrella”. It was all the information that Blue Umbrella had on a bioweapon manufacturing group called The Connections and they were experimenting with a special type of mold that is it. There was a suspected list of incidents possibly related to it. Including a disappearance of a tanker called the Annabelle with a list of victims one seemed familiar Mia Winters nee Thorne but the familiarity was distant and he wasn’t able to place it. (the reason why would be something he remembered a few years later)

He heard the door opening as he continued reading the last page that they request him for his experience in handling bioweapons in the field when the need arises (it was never a question of “if” always “when”). No startling when a hand landed on his shoulder how could he? It was just Jill and Carlos behind her. Coming to check on him again possibly because they heard about this file. They took a seat with him and read through it all as well. Reacting as expected to the intel provided and how little they had. They had time (a week) so they read again and contacted informants. Contacting the families of the missing people from the Annabelle was a struggle and discussed every angle there was they could in that week and in the end? Chris signed the papers and started working with Blue Umbrella.

[viovio]

PLEASE i need your thoughts on the re8 shadows of rose dlc...

HOLYYY SHIT THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME THISSSSS (real rambly and nonsensical below)

god the expansion on rose's life was nice but it felt so. idk how to say it! it's certainly weird that chris would let her attend a public school and knowing capcom it's either an oversight or more telling of their relationship. i found it really sweet but so dismissive because of her case as a bioweapon and still having snipers trained on her at all times😭 (as seen in the epilogue)

there's so much that's left to be desired because as a triple a game the graphics are on POINT but most of the story just falls flat to me!! why was mia forced out of her life?! (because capcom could not care to develop her any more) why did no one tell her about ethan?? was there no one left to teach her how to develop her powers before this?

I'll be honest i could answer that last one on my own bc the context feels to me that they've learned from the connections' harsh treatment of eveline (and i don't think mia would let them) that dehumanizing an all-powerful weapon is basically asking to be blown up, so they decide to treat her with a modicum of respect. Which still isn't a lot given how much her life sucks under them. God she's lonely

And Eveline being bought back here to still be treated like that just pisses me the fuck off. What the FUCK DO YOU MEAN Rose sees a little girl who was in her exact position but deprived of love and proper family figures and instead writes that off with "yes she's evil don't EVER compare me to her!!!" Damnit that just regresses her development through this journey even more. she's a kid too but c'mon. Ethan you're in trauma hell too and i get that but so's Evie. I'm gonna scream forever.

This is getting way too much of complaining but it's deserved. Proper character studies aren't capcoms suit but man😭 I'll be a bit more light and say i still fucking love Rose, the parts with Ethan promising to be with her all her life just fucking obliterates me. She's an amalgamation of different people to others and it broke her self image a lot methinks.

I also like how it didn't go the "oh it was so simple all along i need my powers because they make me who I am!!" like Ethan wholeheartedly supported her decision to get rid of them because her happiness and choice will always be his first priority. They chose each other they💥💥💥

UGH and her comments make her character stand on her own sm. Literally my bestfriend. In my ideal world she asks why he called Evie a bitch. Her clones and Miranda's efforts to bring someone back and unsatisfied with her attempts and work is not lost on Rose. I really love the main game's storybook tale thing already and this was just adding so much to it Rose Evie I'm getting you outta there

[nancydfan]

Okay but honestly everyone (besides Mia) doubted Ethan and his abilities the entirety of the game- especially Chris.

Obviously all the lords are like “ha ha you’ll never get past me!” And then insert picacho surprised meme when he does.

Even Miranda seems to be like “whAT THE FUCK” when Ethan stumbles his way back to fight her after she swore she killed him. Like yes she knew he was “special” somehow but never realized the full extent of his abilities.

But Chris himself doubted Ethan the most honestly.

I feel like when Chris and his team found and got Ethan and Mia out of the Baker’s house in RE7, he probably just thought Ethan was lucky. I mean, here’s this totally average guy and you’re telling me he killed/ severely injured the members of this family who had been infected with the mold, as well as killed Eveline himself? Like Chris was probably like while this man definitely was able to fight his way out there’s no actual way he was able to do this on his own, maybe he’s over exaggerating or whatever.

But he doesn’t say anything, and offers to teach Ethan military training (at least I think it was Chris, only because they seem to be more familiar with each other in RE8) because even if he’s over exaggerating the man clearly has talent and capabilities to make it out of that house in relatively one piece.

And then they get into training and Chris is incredibly impressed. For what appears to be your typical average dude he’s got pretty good fight tactics and techniques, and can handle a gun pretty well. Of course there’s always stuff to improve on and Chris teaches him to the best of his abilities, and here he gets to know Ethan.

This is a man who always offers help to anyone who needs it, and goes out of his way to comfort people whenever they need it. He truly loves his wife, he never makes a “gotta get back to the old ball and chain” or other “I hate my wife” jokes, he truly appreciates her and respects her with every part of him.

He has a great intuition, both in fighting and just when reading people. When Chris or someone around them has an off day he immediately picks up on it and is able to sense what that person needs. With Chris he will casually mention that his door is always open, he might not know the answer but Ethan is always willing to listen if Chris needs it. And though Chris at first insists that he’s fine, somehow Ethan Winters gets him to open up a bit (not completely, but Ethan’s genuine kindness begins to crack Chris’ ‘tough guy’ mask he puts on that lets Ethan see a glimpse of the real him. Chris’ squad is in utter shock of this because it took them YEARS to achieve this), and they both can sit down and share the horrors they both have experienced and for once in Chris’ life he starts to feel that maybe he can actually recover from what he’s seen.

Ethan also somehow knows exactly what to say. Though sometimes he’ll have to pause to get the right words and thoughts together, when he finally speaks his words are exactly what Chris (and others) needed to hear, even if Chris won’t admit it.

Ethan is the guy who when he sees injustice he doesn’t stay quiet, he is loud and makes sure that whatever happened doesn’t go unnoticed. He somehow remembers everyone’s birthday and gets them the present that they actually want, even if the person and Ethan have only talked once.

And though Ethan has the capability to be serious when needed he can be light hearted and funny, and though sometimes his jokes are simple puns or the same reiteration of the joke you’ve heard 100 times you can’t help but laugh because he somehow made it sound different, somehow breathed some fresh life into it. He has his favorite shows that he always makes sure he is home by to watch, and though he is at his core gentle and kind he can also be tough, and isn’t afraid to call you out when you’re wrong.

Ethan is the least judgmental person you will ever meet, and is truly open minded and will listen to you completely and openly. He isn’t afraid to change his opinion when he realizes he was wrong. When him and Mia throw a Christmas party they always invite Chris and he is always touched by it.

It is through their time together training that Chris realizes that while yes Ethan is a completely normal man he is far from completely ordinary and boring.

And when he announces he’s going to be a father Ethan’s eyes completely light up, and he spends hours of talking about all the beautifully mundane things that accompany preparing to become a parent and dealing with the trials of Mia’s pregnancy. There is no doubt in Ethan’s voice or heart that lead anyone to believe that he thinks that there’s a possibility that Rose might be unhealthy due to both of their exposure to the mold. Ethan runs on optimism and truly believes that she’ll be alright, that though they’ve been through hell him and Mia finally got the happy ending they deserve, and Chris has never been so happy for him.

And then, of course, everything comes crashing down.

When Chris learns that Miranda has infiltrated the Winters’ home he is infuriated on their behalf (can’t this family catch a fucking break?) and does all he can to help them (but little does he know he actually will make it worse). He doesn’t tell Ethan whats going on because they need the element of surprise to get Miranda and Chris knows Ethan will not lie low until he gets there. While Ethan was incredibly lucky to survive Dulvey there’s no way he can survive Miranda’s wrath.

(Also I think there was a document saying they didn’t know if Ethan was compromised or not, hence why Chris didn’t tell Ethan immediately what was going on but still he was over the line)

When Chris discovers that his team escorting Ethan, Rose, and Miranda had crashed and died, leaving Miranda in sole control of Rose he is devastated but thinks to himself that he must keep going, there’s no time to grieve or feel guilty for mistakes when Miranda is moments away from completing her ceremony.

And then he gets word that Ethan Winters has been spotted in the castle. And he shakes his head because of course he’s still alive, Ethan must run on luck and sheer will because how else would he have survived the crash?

And though Chris wants to go after him to tell him to sit his ass down so his team can do their job he can’t because again time is a luxury he can’t afford and he hopes Ethan’s luck saves his ass again this time. And though he hopes for the best can Ethan really take on these god-like creatures?

And then he again gets word that Ethan Winters somehow is defeating all of the lords. He’s going through them as if they’re simply ants beneath his feet and somehow he is still going. And though this is great Chris and his team are rapidly losing the element of surprise they’ve been trying to maintain since coming to this village.

And when he encounters Ethan again it almost hurts to see this man who once sat with him for hours talking about nothing, offering to help him with his taxes look at him with such fury and disdain that it almost sends shivers down his spine, that even though Chris is a highly trained operative he for some reason feels like if Ethan chose to kill him Chris wouldn’t last long. He wants to explain but time won’t let him (or is it the fear that he was wrong all along and once he spits his words out he’ll realize this).

And when Chris runs into Ethan at Karl’s factory he finally gives up and figures that he could use Ethan’s luck on his team, if Ethan can eliminate the four lords without any military help then he’s got to be able to have a shot and killing Miranda with Chris’ and his team’s help.

And when he hears Miranda kill Ethan on the phone it is a blow to his gut that he wasn’t expecting, because Ethan Winters has made a bigger impact on his heart than he thought possible. And it is in this moment of grief that he realizes his mistakes, that he was wrong to alienate Ethan, the man who went through hell twice without looking back to save his family.

The guilt only gets worse when he finds Mia, because he has to explain to her that it’s his fault that her husband is lying dead without his heart due to Chris’ own negligence. And when Mia tells him that he doesn’t understand how special he is he desperately wants to hear it, despite his mind telling him that’s she’s wrong, he wants Mia to tell him that Ethan can survive the impossible because he wants a second chance to make things right.

And when he gets the report again that Ethan Winters is somehow alive and is on his way to the ceremony site Chris’ heart soars and he wonders how could he have ever doubted Ethan Winters and his ability to come back to the people he loves time and time again.

(Also I could be wrong here because I don’t remember if Miranda blocked Chris out once she realized he was there but the rest of this is going to go off of the assumption that Chris was present and could see what was happening)

It is not until Chris makes it to the ceremony site and sees the battle between Miranda and Ethan that Chris truly realizes that he has severely underestimated this man for 3 whole years.

He’s seen Ethan fight before- he saw it in training and heard his squad give him the summary of what they saw when Ethan fought the other lords, but this is the first time Chris has seen Ethan TRULY fight, and on his face where Chris is so used to seeing compassion and love and carefreeness is suddenly replaced by anger, resentment, and pure determination because his daughter’s life is on the line and he will fight until there is nothing left of him to keep that little girl safe.

Chris watches in awe, because even though Ethan looks like he is barely staying together, like he is one breath away from falling apart he is still fighting. Maybe it’s because the mold is being destroyed or maybe Ethan’s injuries are so severe that the mold can’t be bothered hiding itself anymore but he finally sees the proof for himself that Ethan Winters is no longer human- Miranda is tearing into him and Ethan does not care- the long gashes she makes onto his body are desperately trying to suture themselves back together with small tendrils of black, this mold desperately trying to keep Ethan together when Miranda is so intent on tearing him apart.

He watches in amazement as Ethan somehow manages to avoid her claws and her own tendrils of mold reaching out to pound him into dust. He watches in amazement as it doesn’t matter how much Miranda damages Ethan- he gets back up again to unload another round of bullets into Miranda without slowing down, and watches in amazement as Ethan actually begins to win this battle- this perfectly normal man versus a god-like creature and Ethan is actually winning despite all the odds stacked against him.

This is Ethan Winters, he thinks, and while the mold might have given him regenerative properties the mold did not give him the drive and determination Chris sees before him- though Ethan Winters is infected but he is still Ethan Winters, each bullet he fires is coming from him, and his pure will to survive and save his daughter. The mold did not change him to a super hero because this is who he is at heart, a man who is willing to risk it all just to make sure the ones he loves are all right.

And if he didn’t already respect Ethan before he certainly does now, and he curses himself for being so ignorant and not letting Ethan in when he had the chance.

But that’s alright- because Ethan Winters has just eliminated Miranda before his eyes and is running to his daughter, and now Chris will have a lifetime to make it up to him.

But then he sees Ethan collapse to his knees in front of him, and his feet are moving before he even thinks to go because there’s no way, this man did not survive this hell just to die on him now.

Chris is relieved that Ethan is still (barely) conscious as he puts his arm around the man to help him out. Time has never been on their side and it certainly isn’t now, as Chris practically drags Ethan out because he has failed him too many times and he refuses to fail him again.

He tries to get Ethan to keep fighting because it seems that all of the life has drained from this man, the only part of him that’s full of life is the arm carrying his daughter because even when he’s on the brink of death he will not let anything happen to her. Chris brings up Mia and it pains him to hear the loss in Ethan’s voice, as if he’s already decided he’s a lost cause. Chris will not let this happen, he points out that they’re going to blow the village sky high and that’s why they need to get a move on and-

Suddenly Ethan is pushing Rose into his arms, and Chris can’t believe he gets the privilege to hold this man’s daughter after all he’s done and Ethan is draping Rose in his worn out coat and begging Chris to teach her to be strong and Chris won’t have this, Ethan Winters will not die on his watch he will get home to his family and live to live a perfectly normal life, when suddenly Ethan pushes Chris out of the way of a mold tendril that acts as a barrier between them and Chris watches in horror as Ethan stumbles backwards, the man looking more and more like a walking corpse versus the man he just saw moments ago, full of life and determination to kill Miranda.

“Goodbye, Rosemary” Ethan chokes out as he starts to stumble his way back to the ceremony site, and Chris can almost feel the pain of Ethan’s loss at not being able to be with his daughter and wife just within the utterance of these two words.

And Chris is calling Ethan back because dammit it doesn’t have to be like this but Chris knows what a man hell bent on something looks like, and Ethan is already almost out of his sight and the whole village is collapsing around him.

Cursing Chris turns around, cradling Rose close because Ethan somehow miraculously chose to trust Chris in protecting her and like hell will he let something happen to her after this. Chris will teach her to be strong and how to be brave, and not because he’s a man and Mia is incapable of it, but Chris will teach Rose how to be strong like her father was, and how to defend herself because both he and Ethan know that Rose’s abilities will make her a constant target for people to use for their own gain.

When Chris hands Rose back to Mia the joy on her face is short lived and suddenly she’s demanding where Ethan is, begging them to put the plane back down because there’s no way in hell he’d leave them willingly and just as Chris utters that Ethan chose to sacrifice himself the bomb goes off and he feels another blow to his chest, and it’s as though he can’t breathe for a second. He sees the realization hit Mia, and that though Ethan has survived the impossible time and time again can he really survive being blown to bits?

Chris can barely contain the grief and guilt that is consuming him as he looks out the window at the site where Ethan Winters’ luck has run out, the site where Ethan Winters has now died for the second time.

He glances back at Mia and Rose, and each sob Mia lets out cuts him like a knife because he knows he is responsible. He promised this little family that he would protect them and he failed. He failed Mia, he failed Ethan, and now he has failed Rosemary as she must now navigate her life missing a father who would have done anything for her.

Chris will not let Ethan die in vain. He will protect Rose, he will teach her how to fight and how to defend herself. And though he wants to reach out and comfort Mia he knows it will be unwelcome, but looking at Rose he will not fail her again.

He made a promise to Ethan Winters that he fully intends on keeping.

I’m sorry what did I do to be so emotionally attacked like this 😆

I’m SOBBING OMG. Ty really. I feel like I have nothin I can add to this because GAH MY HEART. You get it. You understand these characters and I was smiling so huge as you described Ethan because YES ALL OF THIS. Then the pain as Ethans end approaches. AND CHRIS’ PERSPECTIVE THROUGHOUT AND HIS PROMISE GOING FORWARD.

Anyway someone get me tissues. This was so beautiful. Bless you 💜💜