#eve dreams: pf

[evedreams]

Rain Check

Entry Number: 36 Dream: Calvin Oftana (20) Summary: Rain check? Really, Eve? Rating: G

Calvin Oftana was one of the Chasers on the Quidditch team. He had been a part of the group since his second year at Hogwarts.

He and Eve Aparri had entered in the same year and were both sorted into Gryffindor. He was a Pure-Blood while she was Muggle-born. Ever since she laid eyes on him when he was sitting on a chair on their first night, she admired him and wished that one day they would interact.

Luckily, the school, like any other, had group work and projects. And, once again, she was grouped with him from time to time. And, once more, they had become good friends.

It was only Bea, Sage, and Kathleen—Eve’s best friends—who knew about her attraction to the athlete. Everyone was attracted to Oftana; Eve did not want to be one of them, even though she knew she already was.

And anyway, he had a girlfriend already—Ena from Ravenclaw, who was a year younger. They seemed really serious. Although she had heard rumors that Ena was a lesbian, and as much as she tried not to, she could not help but feel hopeful that maybe she would actually have a chance.

“I’m not like the other girls who fawn over him,” she said once, sighing. She and Kathleen were the only ones in their room, and she was able to confide in her. “Even if she is gay, Oftana would never look my way.”

“You guys are friends; I’m sure he’s looked your way.”

“Not as much as he looks at Ena.”

Kathleen pursed her lips. “Don’t worry about it. There are plenty of other guys who look at you.”

“But they’re not Oftana!”

That made Kathleen laugh. “It’s only our sixth year; we still have the end of the next school year to get him to look at you.”

Eve laughed. “Didn’t expect that from you.”

“It’s what you wanted to hear, right?”

Eve snorted. “Yeah…but whatever happens, I’ll be happy for the two of them.”

The “whatever happens” turned out to be them breaking up due to Ena finally admitting her orientation. Eve could see how Calvin was devastated by the news, but she also saw how he tried to be strong and not let things bother him. He would talk about it from time to time if people asked, but he never said anything outright.

One day, Eve was walking along the corridor after dining in the Great Hall. Kathleen had been resting in their room, tired from the day’s schoolwork, and wanted some food. As she walked, she passed a sullen-looking Calvin Oftana.

She thought about whether to say hi or not, but he was looking down at the ground. She figured she could say hi, and if he did not reply, then no harm done. But just as she opened her mouth, she closed it and continued walking.

Days later, there was a group project, and Eve and Kathleen were assigned with Calvin, Sage, Bea, and Isaac. Sage and Isaac worked together on one part while the remaining four did another. Kathleen and Bea, however, volunteered to do a part by themselves. Eve knew it was just a ruse to get her and Calvin together.

They began to work together, and there was an awkward silence that Eve could tell was lingering around them. For their first three sessions together, it was all professional, not a single friendly tone.

Then, on the fourth, while in the middle of an important finding, he put down the pen and sighed. “Why are you avoiding me?”

Eve’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Why are you avoiding me?” he repeated.

“I’m not avoiding you,” she answered.

“You passed by me once. You were coming from the Great Hall. I saw you first. I was going to say hi, but I noticed you opened your mouth. Then closed it and walked away.”

“You…saw that.” She blushed.

“And then you avoided me since then.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She turned away. “Sorry.”

“Also,” he cleared his throat, “I heard that you like me.”

She could feel her face heating. “Where’d you hear that?” She bit her bottom lip. ‘No use denying it now.’

“The walls talk. Well, the paintings.”

“Right,” she murmured. She took a deep breath, then faced him. “Yes, I do like you.”

Calvin nodded. “You’re a great person, Eve. Really. But…I’m still kinda hung up on Ena.”

She smiled. “Don’t worry, I don’t expect anything from you. Just being your friend is good enough for me.”

He smiled back. “Thank you for understanding.”

She nodded, then said, “Shall we go back to the project?”

That night, Eve cried as quietly as she could, unaware that her friends could hear her.

The group passed with flying colors, and Eve and Calvin went back to their normal, friendly relationship. However, she did notice that they had been spending more and more time together, which she waved off but definitely did not mind.

She was in the Great Hall, having lunch with Bea, Kathleen, and Sage when Calvin appeared and sat beside her. She was surprised but relaxed when he spoke to her friends about a paper they had to write.

Eve gave some of her insights, and Calvin took note of the understanding of the four. Before he left, he looked at Eve. “Are you watching the game later?”

“Of course,” she replied. “Can’t not cheer for my favorite Chaser.”

He chuckled. “Make sure that’s me.”

“Always.” Eve nodded.

He placed a hand on Eve’s shoulder and brushed away some of her hair. This made her question her hairstyle.

“I’ll see you later then,” he said as he stood up. “All four of you.”

They watched him leave before Eve asked, “Is my hair not okay?”

“What?” Kathleen raised her eyebrows.

“You guys pretty much flirted with each other, and then he brushes your hair, and you’re wondering if there’s something wrong with your hair?” Sage rolled her eyes.

“Well…yes,” Eve said with a shrug. “So I can change it before watching the game. I can’t go out cheering for someone who doesn’t like my hair.”

Bea stifled a giggle. “It’s fine. Don’t worry.”

Later, before the game started, Eve, Bea, Sage, and Kathleen tried to find good seats. The bleachers were packed, but they were finally able to secure seats. It was a Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw game, and everyone loved the new Seeker of Ravenclaw.

Before the game started, the players flew around the arena before huddling on their side. Eve tried her best to look for Calvin; she finally found him when they flew by their side of the bleachers.

She clapped and cheered, “Go, Calvin!”

As soft as her voice was, he must have heard her because he looked to their side and grinned when he saw her. He waved before giving her a thumbs up. She gave him two thumbs up, then he nodded before flying off.

“I thought you two were just good friends,” Sage teased.

“Are we not?”

Bea and Kathleen rolled their eyes.

The game began, and non-Gryffindors cheered more for Ravenclaw. The Seeker was really good, Eve had to admit, but he was not as good as their own Seeker. Kenneth Tuffin, the Ravenclaw Seeker, was just really good-looking and athletically built. He was no match for Oftana though.

Eve cheered for the team as much as she could, mostly for Calvin, of course. Whenever he had the Quaffle, Eve would jump on her seat, screaming for him to shoot. Luckily, his game was on today, like most of the time. He only had problems after the break-up with Ena.

The game ended about two hours later. The Snitch was getting quicker with each level of the game. It was Game 2 of the Best-of-5 semi-finals. Ravenclaw won Game 1.

It was CJ Perez who caught the Snitch, and the Gryffindor team roared. There would definitely be a Game 4 now. The Gryffindor team rejoiced while the Ravenclaw team headed for the locker room. Eve could not wait to congratulate Calvin.

The four headed for the Great Hall to get snacks and refreshing drinks. Just as they were about to leave, some of the Gryffindor members of the team arrived. Eve did not see Calvin at a glance, so she and her three friends moved on. But she was stopped by a hand hooking around her arm and pulling her back, making her nearly drop her drink.

“Oh!”

She was standing face-to-face with Calvin. He looked down at her as he smiled. “Thank you for cheering for me,” he said. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I didn’t realize you could hear me,” she said with a giggle.

“Well, not really,” he told her with a chuckle of his own. “But I knew you were cheering for me.”

“I was,” she admitted. “Kathleen, Bea, and Sage will attest to that.”

“I’ve got faith; I don’t need them to clear your name.”

She laughed.

“Did you enjoy the game?”

“I did! CJ is as good as always.”

“Well…what about me?”

“You are as great as always, no doubt about that.” She smiled. “You’re always great. One of your best actually.”

Just as Calvin was about to reply, Ena stopped by and congratulated him. He paused, and Eve could feel her heart drop.

“Thanks, Ena,” he finally replied. He turned back to Eve and said, “When we go to Hogsmeade, do you want to…maybe have a meal together? You can choose where, of course.”

Eve wanted to say yes; she was dying to say yes. But his reaction when Ena congratulated him was burning in her head.

“That’d be great, Calvin,” she replied and saw him beam. “But I already have plans with Bea, Sage, and Kathleen. I have to talk to them about…something.”

“Is it serious? You can talk to me about it. I just want to spend time with you.”

“Um…sorry, Calvin. It’s something I’m not comfortable talking to other people about. I’m sure you understand.”

“Oh um…yeah. Yeah. I get you. Rain check?”

“That’d be nice.” She looked back. “I have to go.”

“Right, right. Okay. I’ll see you.”

“Congratulations again,” she said with a smile before turning back.

Later that night, Eve was lying down on her bed, wondering if turning down Calvin was a good idea. All Bea, Sage, and Kathleen agreed that it was not, but what could they do now?

“It’s just… the way he looked at Ena, the way he froze when Ena congratulated him. It was just… such a turn-off. And then he had the guts to ask me out right after?” She scoffed. “Like what the heck.”

“Maybe he was just surprised. Was Ena with Jamila?” Kathleen asked.

“No, she wasn’t.”

“I haven’t heard any news about them breaking up. But I have heard that they’re stronger than ever.” Sage shrugged.

Bea asked, “Has he said that he talks to Ena?”

“Not that I can recall.”

“Maybe you can still un-rain check that rain check?” Kathleen suggested.

“You want a relationship with him, you have to make things right,” Sage said.

Eve sighed and sat up. “I guess. Alright, I’ll go to him tomorrow.”

“No, you go to him. Now,” Bea demanded.

Eve groaned but got up.

She walked out of their room and into the Common Room. She looked for him if he was in the area but did not find him. She did, however, find CJ. She had never spoken to him; he was a year above her. But here’s to trying.

“Hi, CJ,” she greeted, walking up to him.

“Oh, hey. Eve, right?”

She nodded. “I was wondering if you know where Calvin is. Oh, and congratulations, by the way.”

“Thanks,” he replied with a smile. “As for Calvin, I can check if he’s in his room.”

“I’d really appreciate that. Thank you,” she said with a grin.

CJ headed off, and Eve waited. When he arrived, he raised his hand and shook it. “Sorry, he’s not there. But you might find him in the field.”

“Thank you!” She rushed out of the Gryffindor room and headed straight for the Quidditch field. When she got there, she saw him flying around with the Quaffle in his hand. “Calvin!” she shouted.

He did not seem to hear her, so she ran to the bleachers’ entrance and took the stairs up as quickly as she could. When she finally reached the top, she saw Calvin flying towards her.

“Eve,” he called out. When he reached her, he asked what she was doing up there. “Is anything wrong?”

“Um…no. But,” she stopped and took a deep breath before exhaling, “can we un-rain check that rain check?”

He put down the Quaffle beside her and said, “Why?”

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine; you might already have made plans. I’m sorry—”

“Eve,” he started as he placed a hand on hers, “Un-rain checking that rain check is great for me. What made you change your mind, though?”

“I talked to Bea, Sage, and Kathleen. They said I was dumb for asking for a rain check.” She bit her bottom lip. “I was.”

He smiled and chuckled softly. “Why did you decline in the first place?”

“I saw the way you looked at Ena when she congratulated you. I thought she still had an effect on you…” she bowed her head and said quietly, “or something. I don’t know.”

He pursed his lips and nodded. “I understand. I was just taken off guard; she hated Quidditch.”

“Oh really?”

He nodded. “But I did hear that Jamila’s quite into it. Guess she got attached to it, too.” He shrugged. “Maybe she just liked the game.”

“Perhaps…”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Eve. I promise.” He leaned forward, which made Eve tilt her head. “May I?”

She licked her upper lip and nodded.

Calvin leaned forward again and captured her lips with his own.

[evedreamsof]

two dates a night // c. oftana

entry #67

eve needs to get out of there

It all happened so fast.

Eve was talking to her blind date. He was absolutely boring and obnoxious.

She could not tell where her friend, Laura, found him. Laura knew Eve was eyeing someone else��unreachable though—but Laura was adamant to make Eve realize that there are other fishes in the sea.

He just talked about himself. His “accomplishments”, if you can call them that. His physical appearance, which was decent if he were a decent guy. His projects, which were good ideas but she wondered how well he would execute them given the way he attained his “accomplishments”.

She tried to squeeze herself in, she told him stuff about herself. But he would always have something to counter them with. There were times wherein he asked about her opinions and stuff about herself, and at first he seemed quite genuine, but as the conversation grew, it was just a ruse for him to talk more about himself.

Two hours later, she finally decided to put an end to it. Two hours. Two hours! Two hours of him taking all the credit of everything and anything under the sun.

She already had her money ready, she was paying for herself, of course. Now all she had to do was think of a way to excuse herself.

Then, she spotted him. ‘Oh my God.’ And he was coming this way. She knew it was a long shot but she wanted to try anyway, anything to get her out of this. ‘Alright.’

Once he was near enough, she stood up and reached for his wrist. “Calvin! Oh my God, it’s been so long! How are you?”

He stood there a moment, shocked. She knew what he was thinking but she had to get out. She squeezed his wrist tightly but the same, friendly smile was still on her face. “How’ve you been?”

He finally seemed to get the message because he grinned. “I’ve been good! It’s been a while, yes. How are you?”

“I’m okay,” she replied. “This is my date, Jesse. We were just about to finish. Mind if we take a stroll?” She squeezed his wrist again.

“We’re done?” Jesse asked in the background.

“Of course. It’d be great catching up with you.”

Eve let go of his wrist and unfolded a few bills and placed them on the table. “My share.”

“I thought we were splitting? Fifty-fifty.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “I ordered roast beef and a drink, and you ordered…all those. How are we fifty-fifty?”

“Okay, fine. No sharing, but I thought we were having dessert together?”

“Plans change, Jesse,” Calvin cut in. “I’m having dessert with her.���

Jesse glared. “I’m telling Laura what kind of person you really are.”

Eve shrugged. “Okay.” She gave Calvin a smile and they left the restaurant.

“How’s their roast beef?” he asked, holding up the take-out bag.

“Really good,” she replied.

As soon as they were at a good distance, Eve took a deep breath and exhaled before turning to the basketball player. “I’m sorry for what happened. I just needed to get out of there.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. He sounded like a bore, I get why you wanted to leave.” He chuckled.

“He was worse than a bore. All he did was talk about himself, never once letting me tell my own stories.” She rolled her eyes. “I haven’t really gone on dates but that was already the worst.”

“But he wasn’t hurting you or anything?”

“No, no,” she said. “No hurting in any way. Maybe except my ego.” She laughed.

He laughed along.

Then, she said, “Well, I hate to be keeping you when you’re about to have dinner.” She smiled. “Thank you, Mr. Oftana, really.”

“I’m honestly surprised you know me.”

She shrugged. “San Miguel is my team though.”

He laughed, as did she. “I hope your next date won’t be bad.”

“Thanks,” she replied. “Enjoy your dinner.”

She stepped aside but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “I was hoping your next date would be with me. I’m not all dressed up but you’re really pretty and I’d hate not to take my chances.”

Eve blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah. If it’s okay with you? I can always just eat this tomorrow.” He held up the bag. “What do you say? Can I take you out to dinner?” He smiled.

She thought for a bit. ‘Oh, who am I kidding? It’s Calvin fucking Oftana.’ She grinned. “Yes, of course.”

“Great.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t know your name though. Can’t go out on a date without knowing your name, miss…?”

“Eve,” she answered. “Eve Aparri.”

[fortunebookie-ph]

daisy jones & the six

synopsis:

daisy is a girl coming of age in l.a. in the late sixties, sneaking into clubs on the sunset strip, sleeping with rock stars, and dreaming of singing at the whisky a go go. the sex and drugs are thrilling, but it's the rock 'n' roll she loves most. by the time she's twenty, her voice is getting noticed, and she has the kind of heedless beauty that makes people do crazy things.

also getting noticed is the six, a band led by the brooding billy dunne. on the eve of their first tour, his girlfriend camila finds out she's pregnant, and with the pressure of impending fatherhood and fame, billy goes a little wild on the road.

daisy and billy cross paths when a producer realizes that the key to supercharged success is to put the two together. what happens next will become the stuff of legend.

the making of that legend is chronicled in this riveting and unforgettable novel, written as an oral history of the biggest bands of the seventies. taylor jenkins reid is a talented writer who takes her work to a new lever with daisy jones & the six, brilliantly capturing a place and time in an utterly distinctive voice.

book details:

daisy jones & the six II taylor jenkins reid II 382 pages II paperback II random house publishing group II historical fiction, romance, contemporary

thoughts:

i know i'm not alone in saying i've been highly anticipating taylor jenkins reid's daisy jones & the six ever since reading and loving her previous novel, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo. in some ways, reid's two books are very different, but i think on the whole they will largely appeal to the same audience.

in the novel, the writer decided to track down and interview everyone with a connection to infamous rock band daisy jones & the six, a major music phenom of the 1970's. through a series of interviews, the band members and their associates recount exactly - or as close as they can recall - what happened to bring the band together and then tear it apart.

the biggest difference between daisy jones and the six and the seven husbands of evelyn hugo is the narration style. daisy jones and the six is written entirely in snippets of dialogue taken from interviews, and formatted like a documentary script. the characters reveal thoughts and actions and conversations from the past, but the interviews take place years later, in/near present day; this allows the book the advantage of taking the reader through the band's heyday in the 70's as though the events are happening for the first time, abut also lends appealing air of nostalgia. there are, of course, limits to this narrative style, and in some places the level of specificity given to details from 30+ years prior feels implausible, but overall reid does a great job of displaying and explaining inconsistencies and differences of opinion between characters; those small moments of disbelief can often be chalked up to faulty memories, eroded by time and emotion. the style won't work for every reader.

but logistics aside, daisy jones is such a mood. i have not been able to stop listening to 70's and 80's rock vinyl since i opened the book, and have been binging band films. the book is fictional, but reid has done her research and the six feels like it could have been a real band. even the casual/confessional approach to addictions and bad behavior adds to the atmosphere pf the rock scene in this iconic era.

one of the upsides o turning this sort of story into a novel is that the music is all up to the reader's mind - there are lyrics from the band's biggest album printed in the back of the book, but of course we can't hear what daisy jones and the six might have sounded like; each reader can make the band their own, in a way. if you like any band from the 70s or thereabouts, you've got an extra shot at enjoying this story.

though extremely fun to read, however, once i started getting into listening to real music and watching band films i did wonder what's the point of creating a fictional story like this could be, with so much real material out there and more in the works. but i did come up with an answer: i believe the point of investing in a fictional band story lies not in the music or even in shedding light on the historical moment, but in the social commentary reid is able to layer into this modern take on it. she delivers women who see themselves as equals, whether or not they were treated as such at the time. she gives the least-glamorous band members a chance at their own voices and perspective. she talks about the drugs and alcoholism many successful bands ran the risk of falling into without romanticizing them. when frontman billy dunne pushes his ideas without consulting the others - again -, he's called out on it.

i could almost argue that this isn't a book about rock at all, but about the challenges of overcoming addiction and making tough choices that are ultimately the right call. reid has filled this story with such relatable personalities and timeless messages that the music on the surface comes off as only one layer of the depth daisy jones and the six has to offer. my only complaint is that things get a little sickly sweet when the writer's identity is revealed toward the end, but the story's final note won me back over. this book was a hit for me, and i'm sure it will be for many readers.

Rating:

4.22/5

[themeasureofasim]

fhairupdoweddingveil replaced with Newsea Montage veiled (original defaults by @plumbtales​​ and @rudhira​​), 4t2 by @evannamari​​, Simgarooped by @mystic-hysteria​​, 11K polys. I’ve made two versions: one standalone which is just like rudhira’s (for PF-EF and with the lace for only AF-EF), and one repositoried to these defaults (for CF-EF and with the lace for TF-EF). In the repositoried version, CF hair (unveiled) is familied with afhairtowelturban_pink and tfhairheadband_black. In both versions, veil will show up only for everyday, formal and outerwear. In order to repository these, I had to modify some resources in my defaults for afhairtowelturban_pink and tfhairheadband_black, so they’re included in the download.

Download repositoried (includes afhairtowelturban_pink and tfhairheadband_black) SFS | Dropbox

Download standalone SFS | Dropbox

afhairveilcurlsup replaced with LeahLilith Dream Girl veiled by @rudhira​​, 3t2 by @amidalasims​​, lower poly by @xwhitepolar​​, Simgarooped by @deedee-sims​​, 16K polys. Veil will show up only for everyday and formal, but mesh and textures are the same for both versions of the hair.

Download afhairveilcurlsup: SFS | Dropbox

fhairweddingtiara replaced with Newsea Virgin Snow, 4t2 by @entropy-sims​, Simgarooped by DeeDee, TF-EF (I’ve replaced and unhidden in CAS TF hidden clones for this hair), 13K polys.

Download fhairweddingtiara: SFS | Dropbox

fhairwreath replaced with aharris00britney Eve, 4t2 by @miniculesim​. I’ve blended this retexture by @goatskickin​​ with the original one, and tried to make it as close to Simgaroop’s colours as I could. For CF-EF (like Maxis), only 4K polys.

Download fhairwreath: SFS | Dropbox

I actually like Maxis’ texture for this hair’s flowers (sue me), so I’ve also made a recolour of Eve’s flowers accessory with it (shown with black hair). This will show up in the glasses section next to the other recolours. Mesh by Minicule is included, but you should get the other colours here!

Download Eve’s flowers recolour: SFS | Dropbox

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader | breakup angst

Summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

Middle schooler Ushijima Wakatoshi was already more special than the kids around him. This, he was made to believe. It’s not exactly like it was wrong either. When a child is raised the way he was, with so much support that it’s suffocating, one can only grow to be good at what they were told they were meant to be doing. Volleyball as a toddler was meant for the happier times, a memory locked away as nothing but a feeling of nostalgia, never to be completely remembered again. Volleyball as a middle school player was an endless beginning, the very first point of a journey with no real possible end. Volleyball as one of the best among kids of his age, proven by the strength his high school team was known for and the fact that he was already on the world stage as well, could only ever spur him on to keep the momentum. Keep climbing, he would be reminded. Never stop. That’s how you reach the peak. Whether he would break after all that or rise to the very top was never even a matter of discussion. The way to the top was the only one there was. Looking back down and allowing himself to just freefall until the top becomes a distance almost crossed but never reached wasn’t ever an option. Wakatoshi could only ever aim for the very peak.

So, Wakatoshi, how’s volleyball as a pro?

The feeling of a dream-come-true that never was a dream, he might say. But him and sentimental descriptions simply didn’t really mix much. You were the one filled to the brim with those kinds of words. Maybe flowers laced the walls of your chest, maybe when God kicked Adam and Eve out of Eden, he left the garden to grow and flourish within your lungs, maybe you unknowingly raised every single Godly creation and so you were blessed with the power to create as well. You were full of flowery words, that’s what he knows. He would listen to every single one of them, count every petal, water every plant, kiss every one of them in their full bloom, and watch as sunlight filtered orange sets on all that you are. He’s always liked plants. But yours were his favourite.

So he wonders why the point where he could no longer listen to your words had to come. Why he looked at you and only felt the kind of fondness that comes with familiarity but not exactly love. Why the way your hands entwined with his no longer fills his chest with warmth. Why the abyss he spent trying to fill before you arrived (and made him realise maybe empty spaces were never meant to be filled to feel full but instead filled to feel warm) now feels extremely cold again. So maybe things like love do end. And maybe he made promises too soon.

So maybe when you told him about your mother and father and about how they made promises too but couldn’t come through, and when Wakatoshi thought you won’t ever be the same, he was wrong. Maybe one of them realised letting go when love no longer feels the same is better than letting their hands stay entwined when there’s only numbing coldness left to be felt. So maybe it’d do you better for him to let things end. From this point onwards, whatever he does will only ever hurt you. Because you crave the kind of affection that won’t ever end, and how he wish he could keep giving that to you, but he just no longer can. And staying with him who, for whatever fucked up reason the cosmos came up with, can no longer find the love he spent years sharing with you, is something he would never wish upon you.

This fucking hurts. How he fucking wants to keep loving you. What the hell happened?

After you left, Wakatoshi skipped training. He felt bad for eating the omelette when you cooked it to wish him luck. But he ate it anyway, wondering if he will ever see you again. And if so, will he feel find himself feeling the way he used to? And if yes, would you want that?

How do feelings work anyway?

--

You get to work right away. Still feeling heavy and hurt, sobbing at times, you keep collecting Wakatoshi’s things from your apartment. There were a lot. You were both comfortable with sharing your spaces with each other anytime you both wanted. Sometimes leaving things behind caused problems like that time Wakatoshi left his jersey in your apartment and only realized on the day of a game. You had to head to the gym earlier than you usually do, thankfully having washed the clothing a few days before. It’s actually there again, you find. His Schweiden Adler jersey in your closet among the pile of his other shirts and pyjamas. You put all that and other things into a box and close it up. For now, you’ll clean your place and get some sleep. You slept late last night and you woke up too early. Dealing with lack of sleep and the taxing feelings of ache after a breakup was too much. You were exhausted.

The moment you lie on your bed, you feel yourself falling asleep. And then you do. World gone.

You wake up at around lunch and take a short shower. You dress up, carry the box of Wakatoshi’s stuff, head out, lock your door, and go on your away to Tendou’s chocolate shop. You weren’t friends with him before you met Wakatoshi. So, you guess, maybe this will be the last you see him too. When people lose others, they either prefer to keep remembering or completely forget. For your sake, you’d rather be the latter.

Tendou’s shop isn’t close enough to the train station. You have to walk a few more minutes before you reach it. The box you’re carrying isn’t exactly heavy but you still feel sluggish even after that nap. You stop by a café to gather your wits and rest a bit. When you meet Tendou, you know he’ll greet you brightly. Toshi wouldn’t have told him that you broke up just yet. You realised long ago that unless asked by people, Toshi would rather not say anything most of the time. His silence was one you grew used to. Now you have to get used to not being around it anymore.

When you enter the chocolate shop, you see his red hair behind the counter right away. Quite the opposite of Wakatoshi, he’s lively and loud when he wants to be. Like right now, as he’s talking to a costumer, excitedly helping them choose one of the products they’re looking for. You wait until he’s done, just sending him a wave when he sees you, smiling. When the costumer leaves, you head for the counter and place the box you’ve been holding on top pf it.

Loudly, as you expected, he says, “hello! What brings you here? Haven’t seen you in like, three days, I think? You need anything? Where’s Wakatoshi-san? He’s not with you? Why?”

His barrage of questions won’t be left unanswered. But first, you nudge the box toward him. “Uhm, yeah, haven’t seen you in days. I… uhm, I’m here to ask you to do something. Related to Toshi-kun, of course, and well, why he’s… not, uhm, here…? With me?”

You stutter a lot mainly because you don’t exactly feel like announcing that Wakatoshi broke up with you. Tendou simply seems extremely excited to see you and even hopeful to see his best friend too but right now, you just feel like crying all over again It’s like you just can’t run out of tears. You just know that after this, you’ll go home and sob the rest of the day away. Breaking up with Wakatoshi hurt you a lot.

The redhead urges you on, concern beginning to appear on his face. What with the way you’re stuttering and fidgeting when you’re usually so comfortable around him and other people, it’s easy to tell that you’re not feeling too well. Clearly, something must have happened between you and Wakatoshi.

“So… we… kind of broke up…?” the lack of certainty in your voice makes it seem as though you’re still unsure if things really did end between you and the pro-athlete you’ve spent years with. But with the way Wakatoshi told you his reasons for breaking up last night, and how he didn’t want to keep hurting you because you’ve already talked to him about two other people who met and fell in love and did many things and yet still fell out of it but tried to hold on for too long that they ended up tearing each other down until even their daughter started to break with them until it’s just one tiny family with sharp shards for hearts, only capable of hurting each other and nothing more (some daughters grow up wanting to be anything but their mothers and fathers). Of course, Wakatoshi never mentioned that story, but you both knew that when he said he knows he can only really hurt you even more if he lets things run as they always did, he meant, we’re not your parents. We won’t tear each other down. If you go now, you’ll be okay enough to not be the person you’ll come to hate.

The only thing you allow Tendou to know is that you and Wakatoshi are no longer dating and that you’re both okay with it. You leave it at that, and when Tendou gives you a hug, the pain in your chest runs up your throat and you start crying again but that’s alright because Tendou reminds you that you’re sad and hurt and crying makes sense and crying helps and crying is fine and maybe crying makes it hurt a little bit less. He pats your back and says nothing after that, simply letting you calm down.

Before you leave, you purchase a few sweets because Tendou told u it’ll help. Chocolates and sadness work too well with each other.

–

The last time Wakatoshi remembers talking to you was around a year after your breakup. He and his team known to be one of the bests of Japan lost against the bests of Argentina in the Olympics. The world stage wasn't a strange new world to him and neither was loss, but for the first time in many years, the man found himself burdened by the weight of too many regrets.

He knew then that maybe it wasn't exactly losing against Argentina that made him feel this way. Maybe the emptiness he so desperately filled by pouring too much of his days into training and playing was finally there to break him. Maybe the whole time he was thinking he was getting there, not knowing where, only hoping to keep going because he just doesn't know where he can stop to lay his pieces down, he was only distracted enough to not miss the warmth you brought with you which you took with you when he broke your heart. And so when he lost that game, he questioned what could possibly keep him going. When does this journey end? Until when must he keep going? His parents never told him when he was younger. All this time, he only knew to keep forward. Now that he has won one too many games and finally lost one of the most important games he could play, he finds himself wondering if he should stop here now.

And because you knew him too much, you just had to, you know, be that rock that kept him steady even after he hurt you. He went and broke your heart for reasons he himself still cannot really explain, like how the fuck he knew he was no longer in love with you, and why the fuck is he still missing you, and is God playing with him right fucking now? So you just had to call him when he was all alone in his hotel room, mind messed up in so many ways. Your voice just to had to be there. To tell him, you did so well today. To be honest, I haven't watched much of your games recently but I felt like I just had to watch this one. And it was so awesome. It makes me wanna start watching you play again. You're amazing, Wakatoshi-kun. I'm so proud of you.

And then a year later, Wakatoshi finds out that you finally published the novel you’ve been working on since way before he met you. In the first message you sent him, you attached a picture of your book, saying, look at the name on the cover. are you proud of me yet? I am too<3. Better grab yourself a copy before there's none left, right? He couldn't say for sure why you decided to message him about it. It wasn't like you stayed in contact, both of you aware of how much you preferred not facing the past if you had the choice. That time after he lost against Tooru Oikawa's team in the Olympics and you gave him a call was because you're just that kind. You're just that amazing.

But like many things he'll never understand, he just lets this one be. So what if you told him about your book? He should be thankful enough that you even decided to tell him about it. So he goes and buys a copy and reads it as soon as he gets home. It's not like he's big on reading. But he just really likes your words.

Epilogue

...and if someday we find ourselves in a universe where soulmates are filled to the brim with not only stardust but also pure serendipity, I wonder what kind of mark we would have. I kinda wish it'd be that one where ink on my skin gets inked on yours too. Then maybe it'd be so much easier to tell you all the secrets I've been trying to keep. Like how I spent too many years regretting not succumbing in that green lake back home or how sometimes I bleed all over in red angry lines running down like red angry tears, and how much you made me just want to live because you just made me feel loved the most of all. Because maybe you were my finallyfinallyfinallyfinally before you were my whywhywhywhywhywhy.

The End

A/N

Hello. I deeply feel how flawed this fic is but that's fine. I'm still learning how to write stories because I've been writing prose more than anything else. So stories like this do kinda scare me. But I still hope you liked it and thank you so much for reading it!!!!

also, not proofread. it's p hard for me to reread my own works so im v sorry for any mistakes and stuff. if u find any mistakes and whatnot pls pls pls tell me. thats all i hope u enjoyed this v much shouldve stayed in the drafts fic. mwa!

taglist:

@lordmypantsaresocool

@annoyingpessimist

@ushijimacentral

[buzzdixonwriter]

Cowboys And Cavemen

This one’s gonna meander, but it’s about cavemen and cowboys and dinosaurs, so some of you may wanna stick around…

. . .

Recently watched the colorized version of One Million B.C. with Victor mature, Carole Landis, and Lon Chaney Jr.

I remember frequently watching the original black & white version of this as a kid; it popped up on local Early Shows a lot primarily because it could be chopped down to fit an hour’s running time without losing too much of the story (Early Shows were afternoon movies with a local host that typically ran only 90 minutes from 4:30-6pm; with commercials and host segments there wasn’t much room for uncut films and as a result they featured a lot of B-movies with 65 minute running times, or else cut out sequences from longer films not germane to the plot).

The colorized version surprised me in a couple of ways.  

First, I’d forgotten just how well done One Million B.C. is in basic film making terms:  Once past the opening scene, in which an archeologist explains some cave drawings to a group of mountaineers who then imagine themselves in prehistoric times, there’s no recognizable dialog; the film is told in purely visual terms.

Second, the colorization was incredibly sloppy:  There’s a lot of weird blue artifacting going on that lays a strange mist-like quality over several scenes, and in several places the colorists inexplicably either colored the actors’ bare legs blue or else overlooked the mistake in the final color correction.

Third, the sloppy colorization doesn’t matter:  If anything, it adds to the weird dream-like quality of the film.  As an attempt to realistically recreate the prehistoric past, it’s gawdawful; taken as the imaginings of an average contemporary 1940s person with no real knowledge of prehistoric times (viz the prolog), and it’s pretty entertaining.

Technically the movie is a mixed bag.  The special effects are pretty seamless (yeah, you can tell when something is a rear screen shot, but then again rear screen shots in every film of that era were obvious)).  A travelling matte shot of a hapless cavewoman buried under a flood of lava is particularly well done and as amazing today as it was then (though the colorists dropped the ball and didn’t tint it a vivid red or orange in the colorized version).

There’s a lot of monsters, but they range from well done to just plaine…well…

The best are a woolly mammoth (i.e., an elephant in shaggy fur costume) and a baby triceratops (a large pig in costume) that really seem to capture the essence pf those creatures.

The worst is a guy in an allosaurus suit who kinda just shuffles along like a grandparent going to the bathroom, and in the middle are various lizards dressed up with fins and horns.

The lizards bother me more and more over the years.  At first it was because they were disappointing -- they don’t look like dinosaurs, dammit, but like lizards with fins and horns glued on -- but now it’s because I realize they were goaded by their handlers into fights and reactions shots.

That’s plain ol’ animal cruelty, even if they are reptiles and not mammals.

There’s an armadillo and a koala-like animal that appear thousands of times their normal size.  The koala-like critter (sorry, but I don’t know what it actually is) is passable as a giant cave bear or sloth, but the armadillo is just an armadillo (there was something about armadillos that 1930s audience found creepy; they’re waddling all over the Count’s hiding place in the original Dracula).

One Million B.C. was produced by Hal Roach and Hal Roach Jr.  The senior Roach goes all the way back to the silent era, so this was not a huge stretch for him.  

Originally D.W. Griffith was to direct the film, but while he did a lot of pre-production work including screen and wardrobe tests, he either dropped out or was replaced on the eve of production.  (Reportedly he wanted the cave tribes to speak recognizable English and left when Roach refused.)

The special effects wound up in a ton of movies and TV shows over the ensuing decades; modern audiences are more familiar with the film through 1950s sci-fi than its original version.

All else aside, the picture is carried by stars Victor Mature and Carole Landis.  Ms Landis in particular is a spunky, charming cave gal with a blonde-fro and while Mature would never be an Oscar contender, he at least has the physicality and screen presence to get his character across.

The scene where he thinks Landis has died in a volcanic eruption may be corny, but you can feel his character’s grief.

. . .

A quarter of a century later it was remade as One Million Years B.C. with John Richardson in the Victor mature role and Raquel Welch in the Landis role.  

No disrespect to Welch, who by all accounts is a nice person, but she never showed one iota the acting chops of Carole Landis.  Welch is beautiful, and as a generic pin-up model cast as a film’s “sexy lamp” (look it up), she presented appealing eye-candy.  She appeared in one good sci-fi film (Fantastic Voyage), one campy monster movie (i.e., One Million Years B.C.), two incredibly campy WTF-were-they-thinking movies (The Magic Christian and Myra Breckenridge), and a host of instantly forgettable spy films and Westerns.  The best movies she appeared in were Fuzz, based on the 87th Precinct novels by Ed McBain (a.k.a. Evan Hunter nee Salvatore Lombino), where she did an acceptable supporting turn as a police detective, and Kansas City Bomber, a roller derby movie that many consider her best role.

Landis never enjoyed the same level of fame (or notoriety, depending on your POV) that Welch did, but holy cow, could the gal act.  It’s a pity Hollywood is crowded with talented, beautiful people because she certainly deserved a bigger career capstone than One Million B.C..

Welch’s personal life certainly proved less traumatic than Landis’, however.  When actor Rex Harrison broken off his affair with her rather than divorce his wife, Landis committed suicide.

The scandal exiled Harrison temporarily back to England.  A few years later One Million B.C. and Landis’ other films started playing on television.

Who knows what opportunities may have opened for her in that medium?

. . .

The original One Million B.C.  is vastly superior in all areas but one (well, two -- mustn’t leave out the catfight between Welch and Martine Beswick):  Ray Harryhausen’s stop motion dinosaurs

Mind you, most of the dino scenes in One Million Years B.C. are underwhelming.  To stretch the budget the producers used close ups of spiders and an iguana to simulate giant monsters, a brontosaurus does a walk through in one scene and never appears again, and the first big dino moment has cave gals poking sharp sticks at a big sea turtle.

On the other hand, the remaining trio of dino scenes are the aces and vastly superior to their corresponding scenes in One Million B.C..  The latter film’s allosaur attack is one of the best dino scenes ever animated, and the ceratosaurus vs triceratops battle followed by the pteranodon grabbing Welch are almost as good.

Both versions of the film had an interesting influence on films that followed.  One Million Years B.C. was followed by a host of prehistoric films, most of which existed only to cast voluptuous actresses in fur bikinis although When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth, a direct follow-up, offered more monsters and a better story.

While One Million B.C. wasn’t the first film to sub real life lizards for dinos, it certainly told budget conscious producers that such substitutions were okay.

The 1959 version of Journey To The Center Of The Earth cast iguanas with glued on fins as dimetrodons, and for once the impersonation proved successful as the two species do bear certain similarities.

Producer Irwin Allen (he of Lost In Space and Towering Inferno fame) hired Willis O;Brien (the animator behind the original King Kong) and his then assistant Ray Harryhausen to do accurate-for-the-era stop motion dinosaurs for The Animal World documentary but apparently frustrated by the time it took to get results opted for lizards in his version of The Lost World (which, ironically, O’Brien worked on in a non-animation capacity despite having done the original silent version of the film with stop motion dinosaurs).

I saw Allen’s Lost World as a little boy and felt grossly disappointed by the obvious lizards, especially since the script identified them as belong to specific dinosaur species when they quite clearly didn’t (had the script said they evolved from such creatures, the way the most recent version of King Kong did, it would have been less egregious).

Allen’s lizards popped up in several TV shows he did, most notably the TV version of Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea.  That show’s co-star David Hedison played a supporting role in The Lost World so once a season they found some excuse to get him out of his Navy uniform and into a safari jacket in order to match footage with stock shots from the movie.

The Animal World wasn’t the first time O’Brien and Harryhausen worked together, and Harryhausen followed up One Million Years B.C. with The Valley Of Gwangi, an O’Brien project that the older effects artist never got off the ground.

. . .

Let’s back up a bit to discuss “O’Bie” (as his fans refer to him).

O’Brien was a former cowboy-turned-cartoonist around the early 20th century who became interested in animation.

Movies were in their infancy then, and O’Bie shot a short test reel of two clay boxers duking it out.

This got him financing to do a series of short films ala The Flintstones with titles like Rural Delivery, One Million B.C. (the titles were often longer than the films).

These shorts featured cartoony puppets, no actual actors.  O’Bie followed it up with The Ghost Of Slumber Mountain which was the first time dinosaurs were animated in an attempt to make them look real, and that was followed by The Lost World in which O’Bie combined live action with special effects, climaxing the film with a brontosaurus running amok in London.

O’Bie wanted to follow it up with a film called Creation but that got deep sixed.  However, producer Merian C. Cooper saw O’Bie’s test footage for Creation and hired him to do the effects for the legendary King Kong.

While O’Bie followed that success with the quickie Son Of Kong he never got to work on a dinosaur film of such scope again.

War Eagles (a lost-civilization-with-dinos story) was supposed to have been a big follow up epic, but the Depression and the growing threat of WWII caused it to be cancelled in pre-production.

During the 1940s O’Bie pitched a number of stories to studios involving dinosaurs or other monsters encountering cowboys, one of which was Gwangi (he also pitched King Kong vs Frankenstein which eventually got made as King Kong vs Godzilla using two guys in rubber suits, not his beloved stop motion effects).

Gwangi had cowboys discovering a lost canyon inhabited by dinosaurs, chief of which being Gwangi, an allosaurus.  O’Bie never got Gwangi off the ground but decades later Harryhausen did with Valley Of Gwangi.

. . .

I never cared for Valley Of Gwangi and much preferred One Million Years B.C. over it (and, no, not because of Ms Welch).

Growing up in the 1950s and early 1960s, I enjoyed cowboys as much as dinosaurs.

I’ve posted elsewhere how my interest in dinosaurs led me to dinosaur movies which led to monster movies which led to science fiction movies which led to literary science fiction which led to science fiction fandom which led to my writing career, but my genre of choice before age 10 was Westerns.

As others point out, most Westerns are actually crime stories, what with bandits robbing stagecoaches and banks, rustlers making off with cattle, etc.  The climax usually involves a lawman (or a vigilante who carries the weight of the law) confronting the evil doers and bringing them to justice.

Sometimes these vigilantes wore masks (Zorro and the Lone Ranger).  Sometimes those they pursued wore masks, and sometimes those masked villains pretended to be ghosts or phantoms.

They weren’t, and were invariably exposed as frauds.

Westerns based themselves in a rational world.

Other times a criminal in a Western would be after some invention that could bring either a great boon (say an energy source) or great harm (a death ray) to the world, and wanted it for their own selfish ends.

The story would invariably use the invention as a mcguffin device, maybe letting it figure into the villain’s eventual comeuppance, but never really influencing the outcome of the plot.

Westerns and fantasy genres (including science fiction) don’t mix well, The Wild Wild West not withstanding (and The Wild Wild West was not a Western per se but rather what we would now call a steampunk commentary on James Bond filtered through the lens of traditional American Westerns).

(And don’t bring up Gene Autry And The Phantom Empire, just…don’t…)

Dinosaurs and cowboys don’t really go together.

That didn’t stop O’Bie from trying.

In addition to Gwangi, O’Bie had two other projects that he did get off the ground:  The Brave One and The Beast From Hollow Mountain.

The Beast From Hollow Mountain is a standard Western about mysterious cattle disappearances and quarrels over who might be responsible, only to discover in the end it’s really -- surprise!  surprise! -- a solitary tyrannosaurus that somehow survived since prehistoric times.

The movie is constructed in such a way that had the dinosaur element not panned out, they could have removed it and substituted a more conventional ending.

While O’Bie didn’t work directly on the film after he sold the story, it did feature a variant of stop motion animation known as replacement animation.  Instead of building a realistic looking puppet with rubber skin and posable limbs, the dino in Beast was more solid and featured interchangeable limbs that could stretch and squash in a more realistic manner (rather, the movement looked more realistic, the dino sculpture no so much…).

The Brave One started life as a story about a young Mexican boy who raises a prize bull for the ring, only to have the bull face an allosaurus in the ring instead of a matador.

The producers who bought that idea hired blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo to turn it into something filmable, and Trumbo sensibly jettisoned the dino to focus the story on the boy and his bull, much to the film’s advantage (it won an Oscar for best story when released, but Trumbo’s heirs had to wait decades before the award could be recognized as due their father).

The Valley Of Gwangi was yet another variant on the same basic idea, more expansive than the other two in terms of dinosaurs, and with at least a nod in the direction of trying to explain them (a “lost canyon” giving them shelter instead of a mountain plateau or remote island).

It never connected with me, despite having more extensive dino sequences than One Million Years B.C..

O’Bie animated stop motion cowboys fighting a giant ape in the original version of Mighty Joe Young but the context proved different.  The cowboys’ presence in Africa is acknowledge in the film itself as a publicity gimmick, and therefore not a true blend of the American West with a fantastic element.

Mr. Joseph Young of Africa himself, a 12-foot tall gorilla, was also presented as an exceptionally large but otherwise natural gorilla, not a throwback to a prehistoric era.

. . .

Before there were action figures, but long after there were tin soldiers, we had plastic play sets.

They came in all eras and varieties, but among the most popular were Wild West sets, Civil War, World War Two, and dinosaurs.

My father took a business trip to Chicago when I was four, and when he came back I remember eagerly crowding around the suitcase with my mother, grandmother, and aunt as he opened it and brought out souvenirs for us.

I forget what they got, but I remember feeling disappointed and forgotten since their stuff was on top.

But, underneath everything else, sat a large cardboard box, and in that box was a Marx Prehistoric Times playset.

It’s hard to adequately describe the joy that filled my heart when I opened it; it was one of the best presents I’ve ever received.

And while I later acquired a Civil War set and a World War Two set and a bag of what we then called cowboy and Indian figures, the dinosaurs remained my most favorite.

I bring this up because I think the Marx playsets explain the origins of two comics books, Turok, Son Of Stone (an on-again / off-again series from 1954 to 1982 from Dell / Gold Key) and The War That Time Forgot (1960-68 from DC).

In both cases, I’m sure somebody from each company saw some kid combing their Wild West or their World War Two playsets with their dinos and realized there was story gold to be found there.

The War That Time Forgot felt much more my speed, a lost island inhabited by dinosaurs and visited by American and Japanese forces during World War Two.

World War Two effectively ended any hope of their being a lost island with prehistoric monsters; pretty much the entire planet was scouted either on foot or by air.

Turok, Son Of Stone didn’t connect with me.  For one thing, it was too much like a Western in concept; for another, Turok and his brother Andar, being pre-Columbian Native Americans, were already from a neolithic culture, and the various cavemen and Neanderthals they encountered in their lost valley seemed more drab and colorless than their tribal background.

The dinosaurs they encountered always came across as large, dangerous, but wholly natural animals, different only from bears and wolves and bison by size and appearance.

Despite my indifference to Turok, I can absolutely understand why others love it and disdain The War That Time Forgot.

Different strokes for different folks.

. . .

We can’t close this without taking a look at The Flintstones, and we can’t consider The Flintstones without first examining Tex Avery’s The First Bad Man in order to bring this post full circle.

There’s a long history (har!) of contemporary satire using a prehistoric lens.  The Flintstones started life as a knockoff of Jackie Gleason’s The Honeymooners told in a prehistoric setting; the series made no attempt to present itself as realistic in any shape, fashion, or form.

Among the many cartoons and short subjects that preceded it (including Chuck Jones’ Daffy Duck And The Dinosaur) is The First Bad Man by Tex Avery, an MGM theatrical cartoon.

Tex told the story of Dinosaur Dan, the world’s first outlaw, using Western tropes told through a prehistoric lens.

It works, because it’s a parody of the Western form, not a sincere effort to blend it with the caveman genre.  It works because it’s a jarring clash of genres, not despite it.

The caveman genre itself has fallen on fallow times.  Despite films like The Quest For Fire and Clan Of The Cave Bear attempting to do realistic takes on the topic, most people seem to prefer more fanciful approaches, best exemplified by the movie Caveman which sent up the entire genre while not skimping on the stop motion dinos.

With sword & sorcery / Tolkienesque fantasies finally acceptable to mass audiences and thus providing a venue for humans to directly fight giant monsters, there doesn’t seem to be a huge demand for a return to the glories of One Million B.C.

  © Buzz Dixon

[rolandleoline]

Tagged by the lovely @khahahahahahah

Love that the quarantine has brought these games back

Rules: Answer all the questions and tag 21people you would like to get to know better!

Nickname? Chris. I don't think I've ever had any fun ones

Real name? Christine. For some reason my parents let my grandmother choose.

Zodiac? Pisces, but barely

Favourite musicians or groups? Wow ummm okay love a bit of everything but definitely Lord Huron, death cab, vampire weekend that kinda thing. Also Ludovico einaudi when I'm reading or studying.

And musicals! Lots of musicals.

Favourite sports teams? detroit fan mostly, even though we always lose. Other than that I don't watch much team sports, but gymnastics and skating for sure

Other blogs? no, which is probably why this one is such a mishmash of content

Do I get asks? not really, but my friend used to send them to me when we were bored at work together

How many blogs do I follow?  don't laugh but I actually don't know how to check, definitely a bazillion though

Tumblr crushes? is this like people I know on here? Cause I'm always a little in love with all my friends tbh

Lucky numbers? I used to pick 13 for my soccer jersey to be edgy, I don't know how lucky it was though

What am I wearing? jammies! Definitely not my ex gf's sweater that I should have returned but it's so damn comfy

Dream vacation? I change my mind on this so often. Maybe japan for cherry blossoms. (How original). Ohhh no definitely the space station!

Dream car? Jurassic park jeep

Favourite food? I loooove seafood, but also just food in general. Pf changs lettuce wraps!

Drink of choice? Coffee and tea

Instruments? I wish! Complained my way out of piano lessons when I was a kid, which I totally regret now. Trying to take the quarantine to learn again

Languages? English, french, some pathetic spanish comes and goes when I'm in mexico 

Celebrity crushes? I don't think we have that kind of time! For actors I usually end up loving them as whatever character they're playing, so like idris elba but as luther, or brie larson as cpt marvel or sandra oh as eve

Random facts? I have a cat called sora, after the digimon character (technically she's my brother's cat but she's here now)

Tagging some mutuals cause I don't know anyone but you all seem rad! (I couldn't come up with 21 sorry) @strategist-scientia @louciferish @some-gold-can-stay @smileorgotojailstilinksi @the-sebastian-monroe @addicted2fic @bluejeansandaponytail @serindiyoza

[beastkachu]

A Christmas Tale Starring: Nothing!

It was the holidays! Christmas was soon to come barreling right around the corner. As per tradition, a story was in order! Something to capture the true spirit of the season! Something deep, heartfelt; a tale to deliver warmth in the most frigid time of the year. The only problem: He had nothing!! Absolutely no idea where he was going to take the story! The countdown for the seasonal get-together ticked down faster and faster, as if to mock him. If Matt was going to put a meaningful bow on the festivities, he had to manage his way through the Christmas Crunch. But how?

 How could he condense in words

The sheets of snows,

Snowmen in herds?

Every shining winter light,

Bringing cheer and warmth tonight?

 Tinsel wrapping verdant trees

Packed presents by its feet?

Every smile glowing bright,

Fuller than the orbs hung tight;

Brilliant like the crowning star.

Can mere words take heart that far?

 More than these, how much worth

Are words to tell a Savior’s birth?

Time is ticking,

Sinking quick…

Find the spirit

And hope they stick!

 “Good morning, Kami-sama!” Junpei barged in, turning Matt’s mood even worse.

Matt groaned. “No time, Junpei! I need to get inspiration!”

“Stuck in the muck again?”

“Christmas is almost here! It’s a good thing I planned days ahead. Otherwise-“

“Otherwise this calendar would be super horrifying!” Junpei held up a calendar… 12/24 was circled in purple.

“IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE!”

“Did my purple-y hat not tip you off, Kami-sama? I love the holidays!”

“How did I let it get so bad?!”

“You’re lazy remember?”

“… … Get outta the way. I gotta find something to get the eggnog churning!”

Junpei followed Matt out of his room. “Where is it hiding?”

“In the living room!” The two set off at once.

 How could he condense in words

The sheets of snows,

Snowmen in herds?

Every shining winter light,

Bringing cheer and warmth tonight?

 Tinsel wrapping verdant trees

Packed presents by its feet?

Every smile glowing bright,

Fuller than the orbs hung tight;

Brilliant like the crowning star.

Can mere words take heart that far?

 More than these, how much worth

Are words to tell a Savior’s birth?

Time is ticking,

Sinking quick…

Find the spirit

And hope they stick!

 Down the stairs Matt flew, faster than he ever seen himself. There had to be inspiration around here somewhere! Duke heard his master and best friend walk into the living room and jumped up to meet him.

 “Hey there, Dukey-duke!” Matt patted and scritched Duke, causing him to whine and rub against his legs. The fluffy long-haired german shepherd always had a thing for rubbing against Matt’s legs. It was like a cat, but heavier. The tail whips were unpleasant, but ignored. A large lion, inversely named Tiger, with a mane like burning rubies lay near the fireplace. With him, a small girl in a silver and white jacket, black pants, and thin brown boots nestled against Tiger’s mane. Duke hopped back into the living room, paws thumping around his best friend. With her was Finnick, a farofin. His black bandana that sported a cyan lightning bolt streaking diagonally right to left, ending at the front edge of the fabric, was replaced with a red and green one. He was taking a nap in the soft red hair, big ears twitching in his dream.

 “Hey, Knife!” Matt greeted. Junpei waved his long purple Ugly Christmas sweater sleeve.

She lifted her head a bit and said, “Good morning!” Lion lifted his head for a quick pat and brush of his mane, purring lowly.

“Are you writing still?” Knife asked.

“Just figured I get some ideas before I go,” Matt answered. “Why do you ask?”

“Junpei said you’re probably not getting it done.”

Matt looked at Junpei. Junpei avoided his glance and studied the mid-size Christmas tree. It glistened with silver and red tinsel, ornaments, all topped with a gold and white Starby at the top. Lights of red, blue, green, and yellow blinked on and off in soft timing. Truly a beautiful sight, and a wonderful addition to the holiday celebration.

“You should write about the tree!” Knife suggested.

Matt chuckled. “A tree that dreamed to be well dressed?”

“Yeah!”

“That would be lovely. I just might.” Could he spare an entire story to a single tree? He wasn’t sure anybody would find it an interesting story. Plus, it confined him to nature imagery for the most part. Perhaps adding the smell of pine mixing with warm baked cookies would add more of a home element to it? No, the idea perished under further scrutiny. However, Matt had an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea. Cookies were being made in the kitchen. Under the guise of needing a job in creativity, he could make off with a couple. Bidding Knife, Duke, and Tiger bye, he went off to execute his plan.

  How could he condense in words

The sheets of snows,

Snowmen in herds?

Every shining winter light,

Bringing cheer and warmth tonight?

 Tinsel wrapping verdant trees

Packed presents by its feet?

Every smile glowing bright,

Fuller than the orbs hung tight;

Brilliant like the crowning star.

Can mere words take heart that far?

 More than these, how much worth

Are words to tell a Savior’s birth?

Time is ticking,

Sinking quick…

Find the spirit

And hope they stick!

 Matt and Junpei found Efpy and Parfait au Lait at work making cookies, the perfect treat for the best holiday. Dumpling, a white and black cat, watched them, tail occasionally flitting behind her. Dumpling enjoyed the attention she was receiving from Sword, the black-haired older sister of Knife, found herself in a red sweater with black leggings and matching brown boots, like her younger sibling. Beastakyu, a taller, red and black farofin, was, of course, enlisted to help. Not being the best artist, he was happy to receive backup.

 “Hey, guys!” Matt waved as he entered. “Woah, those look nice!” There were sugar cookies, freshly baked in rows of sheets. Efpy’s white hair bobbed as she sang a tune, helping the blonde purveyor of puddies decorate the shapes. Trees were crafted from red and green frosting while blue and white were used for snowy backgrounds. Parfait even made Farofin shaped cookies and colored them in with yellow and dark purple for black. If there was one thing she was good at, it was making the best snacks. Anything Matt tried either burned or is mutated into a torturous life.

“Merry Christmas, Matt!” Efpy said over her shoulder.

“Merred Crambles, Dumpling!” Junpei said to his long-time pet. She answered with a meow.

“We should be almost done,” Parfait added. “Then Poker Face can have one!”

“Why, where is he?”

“Out of the kitchen,” Sword answered. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Oh, guard duty, huh?” Matt asked, amused.

“Protection is why I was created. No one gets past.”

“Not even me?”

“Sorry, Matt,” Efpy said. “Everyone should try it together. It’d welcome in the festivities, don’t you think?”

“Couldn’t argue with that,” Beasty said, scarlet eyes studying his next delicious canvas. “I tried.”

“True, true.”

“That goes double for you, Junpei,” Sword said. Junpei gave her a look, without opening his eyes, as if he was wrongfully accused. Both shot down immediately. Matt couldn’t risk a sneak move with Sword there. He didn’t want to disappoint her. He regretted having set his mind to it. He’d have to wait, which isn’t the best advice to receive when he so desperately needed an idea. Any idea to make his story. If he kept going at this rate, he would have absolutely nothing. As he exited with Junpei, a familiar masked figure made is existence known… kind of. Poker Face peeked around the corner, wearing a “Jingle Balls” jacket, the only festive thing he probably had.

“Did you score any cookies?” PF whispered.

“No,” Matt answered. “Why?”

“C’mon man, I need it. It’s the only thing that raccoon hasn’t taken from me, with its tiny sock hat…”

“I can’t help you, man.”

“Dude please, I’ll suck your bah humbugs!”

Junpei flapped his sleeves. “No, PF! This is a Christian server holiday!”

“As if he isn’t a fan of yellow snow.”

“Ok, you’re wrong, goodbye.” Matt couldn’t think inside the house. It was cold, but if the answer would come after a walk in the snow, so be it. The more he wasted time with PF, the less work he would get done. Inspiration had to be somewhere. He needed it now.

 How could he condense in words

The sheets of snows,

Snowmen in herds?

Every shining winter light,

Bringing cheer and warmth tonight?

 Tinsel wrapping verdant trees

Packed presents by its feet?

Every smile glowing bright,

Fuller than the orbs hung tight;

Brilliant like the crowning star.

Can mere words take heart that far?

 More than these, how much worth

Are words to tell a Savior’s birth?

Time is ticking,

Sinking quick…

Find the spirit

And hope they stick!

“Where are you going, Kami-sama?” Junpei asked, concerned.

“Out in the cold. It’s stuffy in here, and I need a change of pace.”

“But you have a love-hate relationship with the outdoors!”

“Better than staying in here and waiting for the inevitable.” Clad in a heavy red jacket, Matt set off alone into the snow. Every foot crunch was supposed to be a step in the right direction. Every falling flake brushes another coat of vibrant paint into the puzzle words made. Right now, he wasn’t feeling anything. The brisk beats of frosty wind, but nothing else. Matt took his phone from his pocket and held the home button.

“Hey, F.A.T.E.,” Matt began, summoning a teal-haired young woman that served as A.I. “How cold is it out here?” She was dressed in a Santa outfit that matched the color of her hair, head sock and all, trimmed with white fluff, ready to rock the holidays.

“Calculating…” F.A.T.E. answered. “It is testicle-freezing cold out here, man.”

“Ah.” Was Matt’s response. He didn’t realize until it, but it was, in fact, that cold. His mind screamed for him to stop his current action and focus elsewhere. Preferably somewhere warm. He took a look back at the Winter Hideout, as he liked to call it. It was a house, wide with two stories. Light hugged the roof, edged around the corners and down by the window frames. Snow-Poker-Faces were out in the front. One of them was smoking, because the heat would destroy it, and PF had a weird sense of dark humor. Matt could see curling ropes of smoke exit the chimney. Red, blue, green, yellow, orange, back to red. His eyes were lost in the beautiful sequence of lights. It made him forget about his outside warmth and focus within. Surrounded by all of this supposed Christmas, and none of it jogged any idea forward. There was nothing to write about that didn’t seem cliché, plowed down by prose, or just plain flat on its own. What could he do? Time counted down no matter what he did. Maybe, came a small voice from inside his mind, maybe it doesn’t have to be grandiose or filled with countless pages. Perhaps what was missing all along was the beauty, the liberty of simplicity. All these things, the fire, the cookies, the lights, the companionship and family, all these things are fantastic and deserving to be there, but without Hope, the greatest Hope, born in a manger on that day we know as Christmas, well, there’d be no reason to hope in anything else on that list. He got it. Matt got it at last. As for as he was concerned,

  He knew how to condense in words

The sheets of snows,

Snowmen in herds and

Every shining winter light

Bringing cheer and warmth tonight.

 Yes, tinsel coiled verdant trees

Presents packed along its feet.

Family smiles glow so bright,

Fuller than the orbs hung tight.

Brilliant like the crowning star.

Agreed, words reach far in heart.

 But more than these, share the hope

In words that tell a Savior’s birth.

Time does tick, and

Might sink quickly…

This is the Spirit:

Love wasn’t finicky.

  Wait. He had to write that down! Before it melted away and was gone forever! Matt bolted back to the house and threw off his jacket, draping Junpei in it. He gave PF’s position with noise as he fled the kitchen and startled Duke by rounding up the stairs with booming footfalls. He fell into his chair with a creak. Thank God the story he was about to write was still freshly loaded into his mind! Now all of his searching, whining, complaining, and finally, his epiphany, would all serve to create a finished product! He couldn’t wait to share this with his family and friends beyond the Spire! Matt threw open the Documents page and…

“This computer has updates that require-“

 Matt opened his bedroom window and tossed the laptop into the powdery cold below.

[browniesnivy]

Random Asks!

This template was made by biaesthetic, just so you know. I cut out some of the questions I didn’t I saw feel like answering, but otherwise her template worked really well for my needs! I saw cyberenergyshock do something similar and felt the need to do one myself, so here we go! Y’all really don’t know anything about me (which is mostly because i’m super paranoid about privacy) and I don’t intend to give out super precious info or anything here, I just thought it’d be nice. 

what was the last thing you read? The last book I read was issue three of the Bunny Drop manga. So far it’s a very cute story that I recommend to people who like family stories. It’s very touching and cute, but can be fairly thought-provoking at times. I haven’t finished it yet so I can’t give a full review or anything... but those are my thoughts so far!

favorite movie? Captain America: Winter Soldier! I know it’s a pretty basic choice as far as favorite Marvel movies go, but it really is just soooooo good. The action, the intrigue, the emotion, the relationships... all so good! Ten out of ten would watch again... and I believe me, I have. Three times in fact. And I’ve cried at least once every time because I’m weak sauce.

favorite book? That’s really hard... I really loved Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets but I haven’ t read that in years and am really fuzzy on the details... so I guess I’ll have to say the Warrior Cats Super Edition Crookedstar’s Promise. What can I say, I love Warrior Cats! And this edition is just so emotional. Without giving away any spoilers, this book is an absolute emotional rollercoaster at parts and contains one of the most manipulative, petty, dangerous, terrifying and broken villains the series has to offer and she is just fantastic. If your down with some of the special Warrior Cats-brand of stupidity this book is a total treat!

dream date? We’d be alone somewhere quiet and serene, nature surrounding us as we were covered in a blanket of stars. Cool, refreshing water babbles nearby, giving poetry to our escape. The most calming and tranquil environment imaginable. However, we wouldn’t just enjoy the soothing scenery, but we would talk in a low whisper, joking about things only we would understand and geeking out over fandom, all in between mouthfuls of take-out pasta from Olive Garden. It would be a mixture of a fun hangout with a friend and a romantic tender scene. (I guess all of that was really corny, huh? Haha, sorry!)

do you have a crush? Not on anyone real... but if Hatsune Miku asks tell her I’m free!

what are your hobbies? I love creative pursuits like writing and drawing and have loved them since I was extremely young. One of my favorite pass times is playing video games like Pokémon, Fire Emblem, Harvest Moon, The Sims,, Civilization, Stardew Valley, Super Smash Brothers, and many many others... too many to reasonably name! I love reading novels, but manga and anime alike are what I seem to do more of nowadays. My parents are pretty strict on which anime I watch though, so I spend more time reading manga because they aren’ t nearly as finicky about my reading material since my younger siblings won’t have to be subjected to it. Also, I really love philosophy. Ethics and morals have always fascinated me and the idea of mapping out the human spirit like a genome is endlessly fascinating to me... I love to read books on morality and watch philosophical YouTube videos in my down time, and I hope that someday I can come to some kind of understanding of the truth. I guess that means I’m kind of lame! 

what’s your favorite time of day? Evening. I love the darkness. The chilling winds and the stars illuminating the dark skyscape is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen, and it’s all right their in your backyard if you only care to look! Well, I guess if you live in the city or something you can’t do that... in which case I’m very sorry! Anyway, the serenity of the night is something the daytime can’t match for me. Peace and quiet are seldom found around where I live, so the silence is very appreciated!

if you could look like anything, what would you look like? Anything you say? In that case I guess I’d look like a calico cat. That away, I could climb along fences and gates or go exploring into the wilderness without anyone looking at me funny! Plus, maybe someone would pet me!

are you a romantic? If you just read my ideal date, the I you’ll probably know the answer. Yeah, I guess I am! I’m not super ditzy or anything, in fact I rarely every feel romantic attraction to people, but I do long to find a soulmate. 

what’s your favorite type of weather? The rain, definitely. If you couldn’t tell, quiet tranquility is pretty much my aesthetic. I love water. It nourishes the plant life and makes everything sparkle with dew, the greenery becomes so much greener and everything becomes so much more vibrant... it’s like the spirit of the world has been born again. And yet almost nobody is out their enjoying it. Fine by me, I’d rather be alone on my walks down the rainy neighborhood streets. Bonus if it’s raining at night, because not only are the walks multiplied tenfold in their beauty, but when you decide to hit the hay the soft pitter-patter of the raindrops can gently lull you to sleep...

what do you like talking about? Well obviously I love to talk about Yu-Gi-Oh!, and I’m pretty much open to talk to anyone about it... but I also love to talk about other fandom! I also love mythology and philosophy (that though provoking shit) and just random trivia in general and it’s nice to talk to people who are also interested in it. Other then all that nerdy cooties, I just generally like listening to other people talk. As long as what you say isn’t completely repulsive to me I’ll probably listen, but I’ll probably crack jokes the entire time unless you’re being really serious. I love funny stuff.

if you got a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Oh, I’d never even think about a tattoo! I’m far too much of a scaredy-cat, besides the initial pain the idea an image could be burned onto me forever kind of freaks me out. I have no problem with other people getting them at all, just not something I could ever do. I don’t really think I can answer this question adequately... but I guess if I had to choose I’d say something small like an eye or a teardrop. I’d put it on the lower part of my neck to the left side: it would be discrete and not very noticeable, but kind of pretty and thoughtful. Nothing to obtrusive or, dare I say, obnoxious for me.

do you want any pets? I wish! We used to have a dog when I was very little, and then we had a cat when I was about eight or so, but nothing since then. Such a shame, because I am filled with love and affection for cats and dogs especially and would like to have at least one of each someday. If I had to pick which breeds I’d like, I’d say a border collie (they’re so expensive, but hey a girl can dream, right?) and a calico. 

dream job? “When I grow up I want to write books!” I’ve been saying that since I was old enough to write my own stories. Above all else, I want to be an author, but even most of those have other jobs as well. Of course I’ve gone through phases of wanting to be different things... when I was really small I wanted to be a waiter, then in second grade I wanted to be a marine biologist (I saw sea turtles at an aquarium and fell in love. Don’t want to do marine biology anymore but sea turtles are still the some of the most precious beasts on this planet!), but now I’m thinking either an animator, a journalist, or a moral philosophy professor. Who knows what I’ll end up doing, I'm only a freshman right now, after all.

dream place to live? Take me home, country road, to the place, I beloooooooong…! No, I don’t want to live in West Virginia specifically (though that would probably be pretty swell), but the American South is where I grew up and it’s where I want to live. The flourishing flora, sparkling water forms, and the waves of fertile farmland are just some pf my favorite set pieces of the Southern United States. I don’t live there anymore, and there are a lot of social problems down there that might target me specifically, but just for the scenery alone I wish to go back.

dream vacation? Japan! in this dream scenario, I can speak Japanese and navigate the land without many hitches, ordering of the menu and understanding all the signs. I’d go to a maid café and one of those resteraunts where there are stuffed animals everywhere, I’d buy a crap-ton of weeb shit, if I was lucky I’d see a vocaloid concert... and the sightseeing! I’d go hiking on the mountains and see cascading waterfalls and flourishing sakura and  really neat beetles... I hope that happens to me someday!

do you want any piercings? I don’t even want my ears pierced at all, so not at all! I’m not a very flashy person, in fact I’m quite quaint, and I never wear jewelry unless my family somehow bamboozles me into it. I’d never wear any of it, so it wouldn’t be worth some weirdo assaulting my earlobes (or any other body part) for it. 

if you had kids, what would you name them? I think me having kids might be kind of a long shot all things considered (but who really knows, right?) but I do have several names I’m really attached to that I would gladly give to someone. The first is Eve, which I just absolutely adore the aesthetic of. If you couldn’t all ready tell, I love the nighttime, and this name just screams a sort of lovely starlight elegance. Plus, it was the name of my first crush in Harvest moon Magical Melody so... backstory! The other name I’d go with would have to be Jamie. It just sounds so peppy and interesting, it’s a very unique name that I can’t help but love. Not coincidently, Jamie was the name of another Magical Melody character I was particularly fond of, because they were my first experience with gender nonconformity and non-binary gender identity! 

what are your best traits? Am I really the best person to judge that? Well, I guess I can try. I try to be as patient as possible and to keep an open-mind because I hate hurting people’s feelings, believe there is always a kind and peaceful solution, and think every single person deserves personal respect and to be treated with integrity when possible. I’d say of all my traits, those are the ones I try the hardest to foster and exercise.

worst traits? I’m so anxious, literally anything going wrong cans end me into a panic. My family has kind of a history with predisposed anxiety, so I should probably get that checked out... but then the idea of being diagnosed as “wrong” freaks me out a lot. Vicious cycle. This underlying anxiety manifests in some other nasty traits of mine: specifically that I’m a wuss, a doormat, and a pessimist. Long story short, I’m way to worried for my own good.

what’s your worst fear? Well, I’m pretty much afraid of everything! Alligators, heights, amnesia, blood and guts, rejection, underwater tunnels, birds coming near me, loud noises, illness... there’s a lot more, but I’d say my biggest fears are failure and weakness. The two kind of go hand in hand in my mind, and the thought that I could fail and become irredeemable and worthless is petrifying.  

what do you want to eat right now? Something to know about me: I’m always hungry. I snack incessantly, so it’s a wonder I’m still such a skinny little bastard! Right now, I could really go for some sushi. Put some seafood and some avocado on that shit and I’m sold.

favorite social media platform? Tumblr! I mean, it’s really the only social media I have, but still! Even though looking at all the fighting and toxicity on this website that can really make me feel awful, there is an undertone of community that outweighs that for me. Seeing so many fans of Yu-Gi-Oh! and ShrimpShipping in particular makes me feel like I really belong somewhere, and when I see the entire community harmonize to create a positive environment I remember what this life is all about. When I get a heart on a post, I think about how someone liked that post, how something I made or that I said might have put a smile on their face or roused a chuckle from them, and that makes it all worth it to me. Plus, all my mutual are really cool!

favorite article of clothing? Jackets, blazers, hoodies, coats, sweaters, suits... I love that cozy shit! I unfortunately live somewhere really hot, so a lot of times flaunting my style makes me uncomfortable, but it’s worth it too look fly as hell! When it comes to dressing, I’m very butch to androgynous, which makes since because I’m pretty gender nonconforming, I always have been. When I was younger and at a different school I was definitely the tomboy, but now I tend to try and blend in more just because people at my new school seem so much more judgmental. 

do you play any sports? I’ve been playing tennis since I was in third grade! I really only ever play it during the school’s season because there is just so much homework and I’m always busy, and thus my growth has been greatly stunted... but it’s still a really awesome sport. There’s a precision and an elegance to it that just fascinates me, plus it’s not a team sport so I don’t have to worry about screwing my partners over! Unless it’s doubles, which I try to avoid whenever possible. Other factors that make me like it appealing to me is that I have the body for it (tall with freaky long-ass arms) and my dad plays it too, so we can go out and help each other improve our skills. 

favorite meal of the day? Well they’re all great, I mean food is food, but I’m biased to dinner. The biggest most complete meal of the day that packs the most flavor and is the most filling, dinner is great! In my opinion, going to bed on a full stomach is one of the best feelings in the world, so we can thank dinner for that. Plus, my mom lets me eat snacks after dinner so I don’t have to sneak around to eat potato chips... heh.

what are you excited for? ShrimpShipping Week definitely has me excited, because I have so many shrimpy ideas to let loose upon this world... and I’m really looking forward to looking at everyone else’s contributions too! ShrimpShipping Week is the time I can see the most unity within the community, and it truly is a wonderful experience! Also I’m hyped as hell for Smash Ultimate and that currently unnamed Animal Crossing 2019 game... I’m a huge Nintendo fan my dudes.

when was the last time you cried? Like a few days ago? I can’t remember which of these instances came first, but I figured out I got on probation in NJHS because I got (gasp) a C+ in Geometry?! That seriously fucked-up my self-esteem, so I cried about that. But I can’t really remember if that was before or after I rewatched Madoka Magicia (which I personally consider a brilliant work of art and an anime must-see)… well either way I cried really recently.

dream house? Perhaps by the side of a crystal clear lake, maybe by the banks of a babbling brook, possibly by the sparkling seashore... but somewhere near water there would sit a two story house. Crisp hardwood makes up the walls of the construction, and there are windows opening the entire house to gorgeous natural light. Inside, everything is painted soft colors that seem to glow in the light, and every piece of furniture looks like you could sink into it’s soft surface. The downstairs floor has a living room with cases for cards, game boards, and video game disks are displayed neatly and conveniently alongside posters and figurines. It is essentially a nerd rec room. Beside that, the dining room and kitchen are organized and clean, and you can still smell pasta from the night before. A large flight upstairs leads to an upstairs library and study, which then empties out into a cozy bedroom full of stuffed animals and an open closet full of suits and coats. The bedroom has a balcony attached to it overlooking the water source nearby, a quiet and comfortable escape out into the serenity of nature. I suppose that’s all very idealistic, but this is a dream house... so I can have as many plushy sofas and anime girl figurines as I want!

what’s something you hate about the world? How selfish a lot of people are. I don’t mean to sound mean or judgmental, but there are just so many people who refuse to even try to be kind. All they care about is themselves and they don’t understand how much their actions effect those around them, and they certainly never try to adjust their viewpoints. I think there are so any problems we could resolve if we just tried to understand the people around us. After all, they aren’t going anywhere. You might as well try to make life as pleasant as possible for others, right? But that’s just my two cents. 

what’s something you love about the world? Even though the world is full of self-serving close-minded folk, there are also those who are driven and motivated to try to improve themselves and those around them. They want to try to make things more positive for those around them, they want to help those in need, and they believe in people’s capacity to improve. They believe int he ability to change and to improve. And when I see these people join hand in hand to change the world, I feel very inspired. I know it’s not possible to solve every problem, at least not in one go. But seeing people who wholeheartedly try to help out is what I love most in this world. 

what scents do you like? I tend to like scents like chocolate or sizzling steak, the kinds of scents associated with foods. Like I said, I’m always hungry. I also love the smell of nature after a rainy day, it just draws out all the scents from the flora in the most fantastic way. 

what kind of sleeper are you? If a bomb detonated outside my house, I would still stay asleep. In other words, I’m an incredibly heavy sleeper. Basically no amount of rambunctious noise can awaken me from deep slumber, but I am very responsive to someone disturbing my sleeping environment by touch. if the bed rocks or a finger brushes against my face, I’m awake instantly, probably in an anxious sweat. That’s why I can’t sleep in the car. But if you give me a warm bed and take care not to touch me in anyway, I’m dead asleep. 

are you a cat or dog person? Don’t make me choose! I love them both so much, but for completely different reasons. Cats are good because they are cuddly and soft and relaxing, but they for the most part don’t give a fuck about anything. And dogs are nice because they are so fun and loving, and sometimes they seem just as complex as humans in their emotional capacity. I love them both so much, I don’t want to choose!

how long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse? I’d probably be one of the first to kick the bucket honestly. I mean, I’ve beaten my siblings and other kids in wrestling matches more times then I can count, but a zombie apocalypse? I’d be too scared to do anything! The only thing that might push me forward would be the desire to help my loved ones, but even then I think i’d be pretty useless. Suffice it to say I’ll be easy pickings when the zombies come for our brains.

when do you feel safe? I’m pretty much always nervous to be honest, so I guess I feel safest when I’m asleep! 

are you trusting? I actually don’t know how to answer that? I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and when I make bonds I get seriously invested in them, but most people on the streets I’m always a bit on guard about. Got to play it safe, you know?

what fictional characters do you identify with? Alderheart and Hollyleaf from Warriors. Alderheart because he’s really anxious and just trying his best to be useful, and Hollyleaf because she wants to do the right thing and follow the rules but often gets confused and starts going a bit batty. For something that’s not Warriors, I’d have to go with Homura from Madoka Magica, because she puts on a lot of strong fronts to protect those she loves and to avoid failure at all costs. I’m not trying to say I’m as fucked-up as some of these characters or that any of my situations are as bad as theirs were, just that I see bits of myself in them and can feel a connection to them.

what labels do you commonly get? Well there is a lot... fangirl, nerd, overachiever, butch, standoffish, weird, tomboy... if I named all the boxes I’ve been put in I'd be here all day!

what issues are you dealing with right now? Anxiety! That’s all I'm going to say, because I honestly think I’ve said enough about my problems. It makes me kind of uncomfortable shouting my fears into the internet because... it makes me feel guilty? I don’t know. Just... anxious. That’s my problem. 

how can someone win you over? If they display an extensive knowledge of one of my fandoms then I’m instantly sold. Do you know how hard it is to find fans outside of the internet sometimes, and even in the internet? I’m so down to get in any amount of fandom talk!

[theam-cjsw]

The AM: March 14, 2022

Sunny sounds from Los Bitchos, Kit Sebastian, and Ada, detours into moodier spaces from The Smile, Arthur Russell, the second Chandra Mixtape, and plenty more both new and old. Enjoy the daylight we've all saved, and happy Pi Day for those who celebrate such things.

Listen on Soundcloud

Stream at CJSW.com

Image by Wang YungChiu (www.instagram.com/sokaartinnermost)

Hour One:

Inheritance Lord of the Isles, featuring Ellen Renton • Whities 029

Winterhaze Joseph Shabason, Vibrant Matter • Fly Me to the Moon

Just the Arps untrained animals • Stranded Somewhere on the Planet Fantastic

Steppe Noire Charbonneau / Amato • Synth Works Vol. 2

Temporal Dryft Cool Maritime • Big Earth Energy

Going East wihtikow • ᐃᐧᐦᑎᑯᐤ

Ithinkso Crayon, featuring Bastien Brison • Misplaced / Ithinkso

Disko Bay Eine Kleine China • Prince Tsushinkogyo

Yesterday Knows Me Soccer96, featuring Salami Rose Joe Louis • Inner Worlds

Next Stop Portico Quartet • Next Stop

Hour Two:

Streets in the Sky Ellis Island Sound • Tape Deck/ Streets in the Sky

Have You Seen the Stars Tonite Paul Kantner and Jefferson Starship • Blows Against the Empire

Come To Life Arthur Russell • Iowa Dream

Brigade Modern Nature • Island of Noise

Where the Sun Beats Blue Sky Black Death • Noir

Starry Blue Sky Black Death • Noir

The Smoke The Smile • Single

The Corner Lewsberg • In Your Hands

The Leaves Various Artists, featuring MISZCZYK ft. Marker Starling • Chandra Mixtape Vol. 2

Sweetheart I Am A Coyote • Sweetheart EP

Illusion of Forever Beach House • Once Twice Melody

Hour Three:

No Substance Painted Fruit • PF II

Shine So Real Did You Die • Thirteen Moons

2,000 Years Crystal Eyes • The Sweetness Restored

Change of Heart Los Bitchos • Let The Festivities Begin!

Inertia Kit Sebastian • Melodi

25 or 6 to 4 Ada • Moon Rider EP

Daydreaming Thanya Iyer • Daydreaming EP

Toy Animal Contemplates Life Eve Parker Finley • Chrysalis

Remembering Me Cate Le Bon • Pompeii

Grab Your Guts Maylee Todd • Maloo

Royal and Desire Animal Collective • Time Skiffs

[dudja]

EastNYRADIO 6-28-18 Dj PF CUTTIN all NEW HIPHOP MIX by PFCUTTIN Dj Pf Cuttin hits you with this ALL NEW HIPHOP mix for the month of June. Taken from the internet radio show EastNYRADIO which airs Thurs. nights 8-10pm best. on PFCUTTIN.com. 01-Thirstin Howl da 3rd Sticky Fingas - CRIME LORD 02-OUTLOUD-PF CUTTIN UNRELEASED - BROOKLYN SOUTH produced by Pf Cuttin 03-Westside Gunn - Brossface Brippler feat. Busta Rhymes & Benny 04-Meyhem Lauren & DJ Muggs - Permanent Disfigurement (prod. by DJ Muggs) 05-Kyo Itachi feat. Sean Price, Rim & Royal Flush - Legendary (prod. by Kyo Itachi) 06-Ag Al Ghul - No Mercy For The Weak 07-Mooch feat. Rigz - Grab The Work 08-ILLA GHEE - METAL SUPERB 09-Codenine - Flyenigma 10-Agallah x Miquel holly - A1 RAW 11Westside Gunn - WESTSIDE 12-Conway x King Magnetic - Bulletproof Backpacks 13-Freeway - All Falls Down (produced by DJ Skizz) 14-Starvin B & Stu Bangas - Ouija Board (prod. by Stu Bangas) 15-Meyhem Lauren & DJ Muggs - Frozen Angels 16-ILLA GHEE METHOD MAN - MECAGODZILLA 17-Menace - Not Too Long Ago 18-Estee Nack x Crucial The Guillotine - 7POTENCIAS 19-Sos Bishop x Jayson Johnson - Luxury 20-Kyo Itachi - Supernova feat Roc Marciano,Ruste Juxx,Planet Asia 21-Nas feat. The-Dream - Adam and Eve (prod. by Kanye West) 22-Craig Mack - Don't Worry MackTonite 23-Semi Six - Da Latest 24-Rockwilder, Method Man - Who I'm Iz Reloaded 25-Superbad Solace - Eyes Don't Lie 26-Nas - Cops Shot the Kid (feat. Kanye West) 27-Thirstin Howl-Sadat x-PF Cuttin - GODs & GENERALS MIXTAPE sample 15min

[evedreams]

Baby Talk

Entry Number: 33 Dream: Calvin Oftana (17) Summary: What baby? Rating: G

Eve frowned as she sat on the bed. Calvin had gone out to buy some food, and she was stuck at home. She wanted to go with him, but he had told her to stay. When she asked why, he simply shrugged without giving an explanation.

As she lay down on the bed, she held her stomach and sighed. ‘Keep calm,’ she told herself.

A few minutes later, Calvin returned with Chinese food. “I was hoping to get Japanese, but there were too many people. Hope you don’t mind.”

“I mind that you didn’t bring me with you without an explanation.”

“My penguin, it’s hot outside. I was practically melting.”

She groaned. “Alright, fine. Go shower before you get sick.”

“Shower with me? It’s been awhile.”

She crossed her arms over her stomach and hugged herself. “I’ll sanitize the food.”

Once Calvin had finished, they began to eat.

“You know,” Eve started, “all this stress is not good for the baby.”

“What baby?”

She froze. “Um…me. It’s me. I’m the baby.”

Calvin put down his box and chopsticks and repeated, “What baby?”

She placed her box and chopsticks down as well. “I didn’t know how you’d feel if I told you earlier. I still don’t know how you feel right now. I was hoping…I was hoping that until the baby is fully formed, I’d tell you then. Abortion is not an option so—”

“Abortion!? What are you saying? We’re keeping that baby.”

“I mean, I already have two scenarios planned whether you want it or not and—”

“Eve.”

“If you want to keep it, that’s great. If you don’t, I can’t force you or—”

“Eve, we’re keeping the baby.”

She stopped talking.

“We’re keeping the baby.”

“We?”

He nodded. “We.”

“You’re not…you’re not just…saying that because…”

His lips stopped her from continuing. It was a soft, passionate kiss that said “I love you” in the gentlest way. She kissed him back.

When they separated, he said, “We’re keeping the baby. We’ll take care of it. And I want to keep that baby because it means we made something…someone beautiful.”

She smiled. “Okay. Then we’ll keep it.”

He touched her belly. “When did you find out?”

“Just some time ago,” she replied. “I told my parents.”

“You told them before you told me?”

“I didn’t want them to think I’m keeping something this important.”

“And what did they say?”

She pursed her lips. “They said they support me. That they’ll love their grandchild. They’re just wary about you.”

“Right.” He nodded. “I’ll tell them face to face that I’m really happy, that we can really start anew.”

“They will ask you about Khalel.”

“And you won't?” He smiled.

She smiled back and shook her head. “I have a feeling he’d love to have a baby sibling.”

He grinned. “Thank you.”

She placed a hand on his heart. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to tell you.”

He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed the palm. “I’m really happy. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too. So much,” she replied.

They leaned in closer to each other and shared a kiss.

[evedreamsof]

the eyes never lie // c. oftana

entry #66

calvin shows her how it works

eve watched as calvin trained. she, and a few other wives and partners, were watching the smb team go against each other to practice for their next game. eve was one of the youngest among the partners, they all welcomed her with warm and open arms. they were just a few years older than her but she still felt like a child. they were all so sophisticated and made-up, she was just your average girl.

“eve, loosen up with us, won’t you?” sienna said with a smile on her face. “calvin’s the latest addition to this great team. and, he’s a really good player. we can’t let a catch like him go, and we especially can’t a catch like you go.”

eve giggled. “thank you. i’m just…you guys are all so cool and glamorous! i’m not afraid to admit that i look so plain and boring compared to you guys.”

mosh laughed. “oh, eve. it’s all about confidence.”

eve smiled as she continued hanging out with the players’ counterparts.

finally, everyone else had left but calvin, wanting to prove himself some more, stayed to shoot some more. they all bid eve and calvin goodbye, promising to see each other again next time. eve couldn’t help but feel like she finally belonged.

calvin had on his earbuds as he practiced. eve was scrolling through her phone and came across an article that featured calvin as the latest beermen. it had been a few weeks since the trade but every news about him is new and worth the read.

“my penguin.” she had heard him call out and she looked up to see him smiling at her. “you okay there?”

“all good!” she called back. he nodded and returned to dribble the ball. eve didn’t mean to but the sight of his arms distracted her. she licked her lips and sighed. how she loved to hold them during intimate moments. “fuck…” she murmured.

she did not go back to scrolling through her phone. rather, she watched him move around and try to score. his legs were so long. he was a foot and a half taller than her and she loved it.

the way he would wrap his arms around her in bed. the way he hugged her from behind. the way he had to bend down to kiss even just the top of her head. the way he held her hand. the way he placed his arm around her. the way he kissed her.

“my penguin. eve.”

she snapped out of her thoughts and blinked quickly a few times before realizing that calvin had crouched down for his eyes to look directly at her. “yes?”

“are you okay?” he asked. “you looked as if you spaced out. which, i’m guessing, you did. is there anything you want to let out?”

“no,” she said, shaking her head and blushing. “i was just thinking about some of our moments…” she looked away. “are you done?”

“yeah. i’m just gonna hit the showers and then we can go. you wanna wait for me out here?”

“i wanna shower with you,” she muttered.

“what was that?” calvin asked although he had a smirk on his face meaning he heard her clearly. “what did you say?”

“nothing,” she said. “i’ll wait for you outside. i might buy us a smoothie.”

he nodded. “okay.” then, he leaned in and whispered, “you can shower with me later.”

she blushed and pushed him away playfully. “go.”

later that day. eve was watching highlights of calvin’s games. she then noticed that kelly williams’ eyes were focused not on jmf’s hands but on his face. she never noticed that.

“calvin!” she called.

he appeared wearing a sleeveless shirt and shorts. “yeah?”

she stared at his chest and arms. ‘fuck,’ she thought, ‘always the yummiest thing i’ve ever seen.’

“eve?”

she inhaled. “i always thought you guys focus on the hands and ball movement. kelly seems to be focused on the face.”

he smiled and sat beside her. “well, it’s not always the face. yes, we look at hands and ball movement but if we focus on their eyes, we can try to see what they’re thinking, to read what their plans are. it’s not always reliable but it works.”

“oh, okay.”

“want me to teach you how?”

“what do you mean?”

calvin smiled innocently and looked at eve right in the eye. “don’t look away.”

she had the huge urge to look away, she was always so conscious about looking at people in the eye, even if she was a close family or friend. although she has been told that she does look at people in the eye when she’s not thinking about it.

“don’t make me look away,” she challenged.

calvin’s smiled even wider. he leaned forward and trapped eve in the middle of his arms, his hands clutching the back of the chair she was seated on and the table.

“you’ve been thinking naughty things about me, haven’t you?”

“i have not.” her eyes searched for something else to look at.

“i told you not to look away,” he said. he held her chin and made her face him. “you be a good girl and follow instructions.”

she gulped. “this is so not fair.”

“how is this not fair?” he asked, returning his hand on the back of the chair and leaning in. “tell me.”

“you know how i feel about eye contact.”

“i do.”

“and you’re using it against me. your skills. you’re using your skills on me.”

he chuckled, his eyes never leaving hers. “i have more skills than you can imagine.”

“yeah? you’ve got anything new up your sleeves?”

“maybe i’ve been researching.” he shrugged.

this time, she made her eyes bore into his. “maybe you can use your skills on me.”

“with so much pleasure.”

[agilenano]

Agilenano - News: Automobili Pininfarina Is Speeding Into a New Era of Hypercars

As legendary Italian design house Pininfarina S.p.A. enters the third stage of its nearly century-long lifespan, a new brand, Automobili Pininfarina, has joined the family, aiming to produce the most elevated sustainable luxury cars the world has ever seen.  Their first creation, the zero-emission Battista, flaunts celestial performance, with mind-boggling numbers like 1,900 horsepower, a 217-mph top speed, and a 0-62 mph time under two seconds. Yet Automobili Pininfarina aspires to even bigger goals than simply boasting one of the quickest vehicles on the planet: by 2025 they plan to debut an entirely new vehicle category dubbed the S-LUV (Sustainable Luxury Utility Vehicle), and aim to become the most sustainable luxury manufacturer in the world.  “This is the story of a company, and it is the story of a family,” Paolo Pininfarina, Chairman of Pininfarina S.p.A., beams proudly as he holds court in a sun-drenched gallery of his firm’s museum. “My grandfather had a vision to continue the company after his life: ‘My life is too short!’ he said, ‘I want the company to survive!’ And so he trained my father Sergio to become the second chairman of Pininfarina. And when I and my brother were born my grandfather was very happy, and he said ‘Now that we have these two new Pininfarinas I dream our company can be projected into the next century!’ And now here we are, in 2020.”  We’re standing in a gleaming glass atrium in Pininfarina headquarters in Cambiano, Italy, surrounded by some of the most coveted automobiles in human history: the Cisitalia 202, Ferrari P6 and Berlinetta Boxer, Alfa Romeo Giulietta Spider and 2uettottanta concept. Walking among these curvaceous steel masterpieces, it is blindingly clear that this is indeed the story of a family as much as a company. In the exalted pantheon of automotive design there are few names that carry more weight than that of Pininfarina. Sure other giants loom with surnames like Bertone, Giugiaro, Zagato, et al, but none quite hold the gravity and longevity of Turin’s most storied design house.  Created in 1930 by Battista Farina, a man born in the foothills of the Italian Alps in 1893, Carrozzeria Pininfarina quickly gained fame penning cars of exquisite balance and elegance. Tiny in stature, and born the tenth of 11 children, Battista’s nickname “Pinin” (littlest one in the the family) soon became inseparable from his myth.  The story of Pininfarina is really a trilogy, broken down into three distinct books: Book I, the genesis and foundational era under Battista; Book II, its evolution and more than half-century of collaboration  with Ferrari under the leadership of Battista’s son Sergio; and finally today we gather in Turin to read the first chapters of Book III—probably best titled A Work In Progress.  This third stage really began in 2012, unquestionably a transformational timestamp for Pininfarina. The death of Sergio in July of that year ended what many consider the halcyon era for the house. A half-decade of rising debt also saw 2012 as the year of a painful corporate restructuring. Lastly—and perhaps most ominously—Ferrrari created Centro Stile, it’s in-house design center. The F12berlinetta, which debuted in 2012, marked the last production Ferrari to ever use Pininfarina styling, ending a streak started in the ’70s, where nearly every Ferrari production vehicle was designed by Pininfarina (with the lone exception of Bertone’s 308 GT4).  Enter Indian conglomerate Mahindra Group, which purchased Pininfarina S.p.A. in 2015, saving it from seeming insolvency. It’s important to note the association with Ferrari immortalized Pininfarina, there’s no question. But the design house made its name years before the Prancing Horse even existed, so there’s reason to believe it will continue flourishing. For this reason Mahindra formed Automobili Pininfarina to envision, engineer, design and manufacture vehicles under the Pininfarina badges.  And it all starts with the Battista, an electric rocketship imagined to elevate Pininfarina into the minds (and garages) of the world’s most discriminating and deeply pocketed collectors. But the story doesn’t end there. After the tour of the museum they usher us downstairs to see the next vehicle in the Automobili Pininfarina stable: the PURA Vision, a design concept that looks to forecast an entirely new lineup of vehicles under the signature ‘PF’ badge. And while the Battista takes its powertrain from Croatian hypercar builder Rimac, these newer vehicles will be manufactured in Northern Italy, with newly-developed platforms and powertrains.  There’s not much we can divulge about this sneak preview, but we can say that the PURA Vision is a thing of spectacular beauty, pulling elements from some of Pininfarina’s most iconic vehicles. A chimera of sorts—half shooting brake, half SUV, all crossover—the S-LUV features a unique silhouette with the high fenders and low hood of the Dino.  Very low in height with a narrow greenhouse, its linear simplicity echoes that of the Alfa 2uettottanta with the short overhangs and proportions of the Cisitalia. Pininfarina’s Chief Design Officer Luca Borgogno claims the PURA Vision’s all glass cabin hails from the very rare 1953 Alfa Romeo 6C Superflow IV. Its sides are deeply scalloped but polished smooth, almost like the high cheekbones of a supermodel. “We want to give a kind of sensuality to the car,” explains Borgogno. “It’s like the hips of a woman that are, in my opinion, one of the sexiest parts.” Beyond the zero emission all electric powertrain that will run across the fleet, serious sustainability efforts include a “circular economy” wherein scraps of aluminum and leather are upcycled into unique materials. Components like carpeting are made of discarded fishing nets, and some leather is tanned with an organic agent sourced from pruned leaves.  Given the PURA Vision’s narrow windows and low height, I ask if the glass roof was designed to mitigate the claustrophobia from such a small greenhouse. The amicable designer smiles and shakes his head. “The inspiration was to actually have the perception of the surrounding environment as much as possible,” Borgogno clarifies. “It’s linked with our sustainability aspect. So the glass greenhouse has to do with enjoying the environment as much as possible, being related to looking outside: the feeling, the colors and the beauty of nature.”  If the PURA Vision augurs what the Automobili team can bring into showrooms, then Pininfarina’s third book could very well become a bestseller. Who knows, it could even spark a second trilogy.  A conversation with Automobili Pininfarina CEO Michael Perschke What is it like to inherit this legendary name, responsible for some of the most iconic cars in the world, and shepherd it into a new era?  I think it’s a once-in-a-lifetime unique opportunity that you take a brand which is so strong, which has 90 years of legendary design. You go to The Museum of Modern Art, you go to the Petersen Museum, you go here to the National Automobile Museum and you have so many masterpieces of Pininfarina, and yet Pininfarina has never done that step to develop brand new cars. So I think that was a big strategic move. Thanks to Anand Mahindra and his foresight acquiring the company back in 2015, but already having in mind to create a car company.  I think that already is a very important, very vital step. But I think the opportunity we now have is to start with new technologies. We’re not another “me too” combustion engine brand—we’re actually the first ultimate luxury car brand with zero tailpipe emissions. I think that’s a very, very unique positioning that we’re very proud of. Also our 90th anniversary is kind of that hook year where we can launch our first product, makes it even more unique. And when it’s time to celebrate 100 years of Pininfarina after 10 years of having our own car brand, I think that will make it extremely striking. But the Battista is the right starting point.  When Pininfarina stopped creating current production cars for Ferrari many analysts thought it signaled the company’s end. Can you talk about phasing Pininfarina into this third chapter of its life?  Fair question. Now I have to say I’m not part of Pininfarina so I cannot really speak to how it felt for the Pininfarina people. I personally think retrospectively, maybe this is one of the best things which happened to the company, because I would always say that Pininfarina delivered to Ferrari the shovels to allow Ferrari to dig for gold, because it was the design that made the Enzos, the F40s, the F50s really legendary.… But if you look in the history books it’s all about the design, and that was Pininfarina.  So Ferrari breaking up that marriage actually gave Pininfarina the opportunity to step out of that shadow and define its own destiny. Now that led to a second company because Pininfarina [S.p.A.] is a design and engineering company that continues to serve other manufacturers and we [Automobili Pininfarina] are only looking to create that beautiful new car brand.  We’ve seen the success of Tesla, and the unveiling of a slew of other EV hypercars like the Lotus Evija snd Rimac C_Two; just being an EV hypercar is no longer revolutionary. What is unique about your positioning?  I think there are three or four elements for this unique positioning. First and foremost I think Pininfarina owns aesthetics, beauty and design. Everybody else can own other attributes but I think nobody will really challenge Pininfarina on organic design, proportions, dimensions, surfaces. Pininfarina defines the category. We are not a follower, we are best in class for 90 years. For luxury this is very important because luxury is also a lot about design.  Secondly, we have that unique heritage of having designed 64 Ferraris, 700 cars, 120 show cars, and we are very well respected. The Cisitalia was the first car which went into the permanent exhibit of The Museum of Modern Art. So I think that’s a very strong asset we have. The third asset we want to own is driving characteristics and performance. At the end we might not be the strongest by four or five horsepower, but that’s not relevant. It’s how you can apply the power to a day-to-day use.  And then lastly we want to also be among the best in the connectivity space. So when you come to your car it has intuitive-to-use, easy-to-integrate technologies—because that’s one of the critical elements for the next generation. So that combination of ingredients heritage, design, aesthetics, with performance and connectivity—if you put them together are quite unique. I always say it’s like a Michelin star chef: he goes to the same vegetable market as the normal restaurant. But the application of the ingredients by the magician, like my [Design Director] Luca Bergogno, they create a very unique three-star dish.  Pininfarina can hang its hat on aesthetics and design. But what you’ve never done is manufacturing. What do you tell investors to make them confident your team can bring a fleet of cars into production?  So I think there’re different levels. The Battista is going to be produced here, in a combined team of Automobili Pininfarina and Pininfarina. We have in the group already the capabilities of small scale, very unique series. And we’re here in Italy around terrain where you have a lot of these small shops, coach builders, leather companies, who can provide all the ingredients.  Small numbers but high-quality suppliers, and that’s where I think we also have the strengths at our disposal. And then for the next car [PURA Vision] it’s scaling up. And I think the scaling up is something we are just embarking on and you’re going to see more on the scaling up, the factory, the green production technologies, photovoltaic and all that, which we will embed to become a zero impact company by 2025.  Battista Anniversario  Much has already been written about the Battista, but in Turin we were the first to witness the limited edition Anniversario. Created to celebrate the 90th anniversary of the Pininfarina design house, the Anniversario features the same ridiculous zero-emission powertrain that courses through the Battista: a 120 kWh high-power-density battery supplying four independent electric motors, one at each wheel. This generates 1,900-hp and 1,696-lb-ft of torque, enough force to timewarp the Battista from 0-62 mph in under two seconds, and from 0-124-mph in under six—acceleration engineers compare to that of a fighter jet.  Aesthetically the Anniversario edition offers a second set of 21-inch “Impulso” forged aluminum wheels, a slew of additional aero enhancements (including front carbon fiber winglets, rocker panel, reworked rear diffuser, rear aero fins and a bespoke rear wing), headlight engraving, “90” badging throughout, and a signature two-tone livery. Designed to make the Battista “just a little more special,” according to Luca Borgogno, only five of the Anniversario will be made starting at $2.9 million.   #Design #Ferrari #PininfarinaBattista #ElectricCars #Supercars

Agilenano - News from Agilenano from shopsnetwork (4 sites) http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Agilenano-News/~3/L9jG0Y3yJRw/automobili-pininfarina-is-speeding-into-a-new-era-of-hypercars

[akwelvhi]

Author AU

Category: 007 Games 2017

Rating: General

Prompt fill for #23 and Reconciliation fill For Fluff Prompt Table 005.

-

James Bond has lived his dream and suffered in the resulting nightmares and he wants nothing to do with this Waterstones event. And yet.

Here he was.

At the signing of Q. Langley’s magic, mystery novel series, second instalment - Skyfall. James barked a laugh when he first heard its title. Q definitely hasn’t forgotten him.

James had just settled the messy divorce proceedings of a marriage of four months. He was in quite the mood. After his launch to celebrity status after the release of his books more than a decade ago. James Bond has been constantly on the media eye and on a few notable occasions, even TMZ, with his short fabulous stints with one Hollywood actress after another.

Stuck in a dreadful mentorship stitch his agent had gotten him into. James had went into it with all the intention of mucking it up. He just wanted to forget everything, and Q was right there. Beautiful, young and eager to please. Q was brilliance. A truly bright young author with the potential to become a name greater than his. He didn’t need any help at all. But James played along, if only to keep meeting Q. 

James spent many days with Q, and nearly just as many nights. Q was breathtaking as much as he was a breath of fresh air. And in the privacy of James Skyfall residence, where they had vacationed for a week, he had found himself plunging. Falling into the depths of things he swore himself never to fall into again.

It was like killing two birds with one stone really. It was easy to convince himself that he had had his fill of shagging away the persistent nightmare that was Vesper, and that it was time to wake up from dreamland. He stayed away from Q. The next anyone heard of him, it was all over the media with his latest scandalous foray with an A-list star.

One year later. James Bond had appeared on TMZ yet again. At around the same time, Skyfall made the headlines as bestselling novel on TheGuardian. 

He went into the bookstore with all the intention of lurking in the background and waiting till the signing was over. James lowered his sunglasses and threw the girl at the door a smile, as he snuck into the backroom. He wasn’t expecting Q to be ready for him before he was. 

“What are you doing here?” 

James spun around, finding himself glared at by angry - gorgeous - hazel green eyes. James had never seen them quite that green before. They were usually a paler grey, but Q was happier then. He wasn’t happy now.

He wasn’t prepared to be caught, James mouth fell open just slightly, as Q’s question echoed somewhere in his head. Eve’s voice echoed back the words she said to him a few nights ago. 

Follow your heart, James.

This isn’t a bloody Disney movie, Eve.

But speaking of Disney movies. Q, looked like a prince, dressed in dark brown slacks matched with dark polished shoes, and a lilac button-up, sleeves folded neatly up above his elbow. His unruly hair, tamed just enough to make James want to run his fingers through them.

Q wasn’t wearing his glasses. 

It made his frown all the more pronounced, easier for James to notice the subtle shift when his hazel green blended into a touch of brown. Q sighed.

“What are you doing here, James?” 

The backroom had cleared out. James and Q stood facing each other. But each time James took a breath and opened his mouth, his words just wouldn’t come out. Q waited, his frown creasing deeper and deeper, until he finally sighed. Turning away.

“Let me take you out for dinner.” James blurted out, blue eyes pleading, hoping, Q would say yes.

Q stood, steadfastly staring down, with so much hurt and anger still thrumming in him. 

“Please.” The word came out unbidden, the shock in Q’s eyes probably reflected his own. James squared his jaw in resolution. 

“Please Q.”

A week later. James reserved a private table at Q’s favourite curry haunt.

-

172-22408-D155-PF

[tumblunni]

Also HELL YES FOR CASUAL PLAYER LOVE

Im so happy to hear that Let's Go is indeed INTENTIONALLY designed to be "more casual" and everything these super anti-casual conpetitive players are complaining about was intentionalky put in there cos the developers legit think its better. THANK YOU!

i dunno man it just seems like we NEVER heae about the developers doing anything for the fans unless its enablibg competitive play or iv breeding or whatever. Like those are the only definitions of "fans" that interviewers seem to care about. And Its hard to know what the developers really think when the questions that are asked leave out a huge componant of the fanbase, yknow?

And uhh.. I mean its just good to specificially know that theyre okay with casual fans existing, like not just "its for kids" but "hey you are not bad if you are an adult who also enjoys the game for its intended appeal points and not for a huge mega complicated mathematical metagame people made up to be 'more mature'". I was really surprised to see that written interview with masuda specifically mentioning IV breeding as the place where conpetitive goes too far and makes the game not fun anymore. "Pokemon wasn't meant to be a game about hatching eggs and nothing else." Like.. Playing competitively itself is not bad, i dont wanna sound like i hate hardcore fans and im a big ol jerk. I admire the dedication because it all seems so super unattainable and mathematically magical to me! Im not into that stuff but i can admire that you have to be a damn genius to achieve all that stuff. BUT i also get what he's saying. Because it sucks when you HAVE to be a damn genius to EVEN START PLAYING! Whenever high level competitive strats become the goddamn baseline it makes competitive completely inaccessable to everyone except the most hardcore of the hardcore, and its like damn man how do you even become that if you have no way to start practising? Iv breeding is so INSANE in retrospect! Like when you think about it, its wild that people even cracked the code for how to game the system and get the highest possible randomized stats for every ridiculously minor thing. Like how the fuck did they even figure out any of this?? And then all the further madness into figuring out how to attain it and how to raise odds of shinys and hidden abilities and how they keep figuring out new ways to do it with every new system each game brings out. And then people will spend friggin LITERAL DAYS OF REAL TIME running up and down the same road in the game, hatching thousands of eggs just to get the one mathematically superior pokemon from a confluence of random events. And this is treated as fuckin REQUIRED to play the game! You can't touch competitive if you dont do it. And these bad sorts of competitive players will try and force this requirement onto other non-competitive parts of the game, and shame casual players for not doing it even though its literally not what they want to play the game for.

Seriously, man! Individual values were just designed to make individual pokemon more random, so the play experience would seem more unique to each run. It was literally invented for a "casual" reason! It just really sucks that they implimented it in a way that had an objective "best" value to get, so people ignored the whole point of "adding personality" and just wanted that one. Tho i mean at least they patched out the early issue where gender and shinyness were linked to these values so you couldnt get certain types of pokemon as the "best" version and it was even more limiting. Glad that GSC didnt have online metagame yet, lol! (Tho it makes it possible for people to more easily predict which pokenon will become Shiny when transferred from rby to gsc, which is neat.)

ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Oh yeah! I appreciate that each generation of games lately has made it easier to see your IVs and EVs and to get them to their "best" versions, with even the FUCK YEAH feature pf being able to "fix" bad IVs on level 100 pokemon. I carried my Sneasel named Reaper since RSE and he's been completely unuseable for so long and bottlecaps fixed that! Kid me just played the game like he was my starter and i loved him. I didnt know about IVs or EVs, so i took this terribly-statted dude with a bad ability and made him fight all the wrong pokemon because he is my best friend and he needs to win every gym battle and i will buy him lemonades afterward. Also he wore the Blackglasses item forever cos i thougjt itd be cool if you could put accessories on your pokemon. So yeah i did Everything Wrong and thus all the pokemon i actually cared about were made weak and useless by my love and i had to spend 48 hours running down a stupid road to hatch and abandon 1400 new ones just to get one that was "useable". Thanks to bottlecaps, this is no more! Decade old weasel pals can be revived! Tho still it sucks that i hit level 100 before this mon's evolution came out. Alas!

BUT

Like.. Even tho now its slightly less hard to make a "perfect" pokemon its still tedious as hell and really takes you out of the moment and you have to already know beforehand that its necessary. Kids are just gonna blunder in and not even know why they keep losing due to no fault of their own. Adults are gonna also do that. Seriously this isnt a "kiddy fans vs mature fans" or "non fans versus FANS" thing, this is just "fans who have one very specific skill for memorizing a bunch of numbers and steps and enduring hours of boredom doing it vs..people who think that kinda ruins the game". And even if nintendo fully streamlined the process into sonething easy, itd still feel like an unnecessary roadblock in the way of just getting to play the damn game. We really need to add some sort of hardcore/casual or iv breeding/no iv breeding thing to league divisions, as well as the tier lists. This is why im so hyped for the current "Spooky Cup", since it actually seems like a "just for fun" multiplayer experience, and its kinda dumb that we have to rely on nintendo actually programming limitations into a tournement cos the players refuse to allow anyone to just do it normally. I did a big whoop at "no mega stones" and "everyone gets a participation prize even if they lose"! And the limitations being a random event based thing rather than a skill cap! Yay ghost types!! Reminds me of the baby pokemon only tourneys in the n64 games. That was a kind of hardcore challenge that had a bit of creativity to it!

So anyway anyway what i'm getting at...

I'm just happy that the devs are saying "yes this is a casual game with more of what casual players want, and less of those hardcore limitations" and THATS NOT MEANT TO BE A NEGATIVE!! Actual developers sitting on a couch hugging giant pikachu plushies and saying this game is for people who just want a fun game about..well, hugging pikachus! They changed the way you catch pokemon because they wanted it to be more fun. They brought back following pokemon because fun. You get all these new features for your starter because they wanted you to really feel like a kid going on their first pokemon adventure and sharing all these special moments with pikachu! They talked about how the art style was decided upon because it was the closest to "how you imagined it in your head when you played pokemon yellow", and "if it was photorealistic it just wouldnt feel right". They picked eevee for the second option because they actually paid attention to the fans and which pokemon was the second most popular and had a similar "both cute and cool" appeal with all audiences. And they put the most effort into the visuals and the cuteness and making everything just feel like a good and fun adventure that recaptures everything you wanted as a kid playing the first game.

And they just act so unapologetically HAPPY about all these parts of the game! These are their favourite parts! They're the goddamn DEVELOPERS and even they say that they prefer the story and the characters and the relaxing childlike whimsy to the concept of refining gameplay to a ridiculous hardcore perfection and throwing out everything else in pursuit of that. And man, seeing them hugging the big pika and eev plushies in EVERY PROMOTIONAL VIDEO and just enjoying playing their own game so much!! And babbling on about dressing up your pokemon!!

God its just SO GOOD to see this as a fan who's been here since the very beginnibg and is starting to feel quite self concious about being an adult fan who isnt doing it "properly". Like man the pressure of hardcore competotive being the "only right way" started even when i was just 11, like seriously THE AGE THE ACTUAL TRAINERS ARE IN THE GODDAMN GAME. Before you even hit your teens you already got stuck up older kids telling you you were too old to just enjoy a game cos you enjoyed the damn game, noooo you have to make it as unfun as possible and only derive enjoyment from defeating other people. It took me until ORAS to actually even be able to try competitive at all, i found it so overwhelming until they added other methods to EV train. And even then i still felt like the blandness of the preparation outweighed any fun of playing these "higher level" battles. Like sure maybe some people like that stuff but it felt so dissappointing after all these years of being pressured to try it...

Sometimes its just good to enjoy a game cos you legit like the world and characters. Sometimes its just really validating to see the developers talking about enjoying making those things, cos it gives you permission to be less embarrassed about it. Sometimes its good to also see them hugging a hundred dollar giant pikachu while you hug your hundred dollar giant mimikyu. Cos seriously what is the point of being an adult if youre not allowed to buy these adult sized plushies? What kid could ever afford those! Im not letting my childhood dream pass me by just because ~maturity~ when im finally able to slap a fat wad of cash on the table and yell GIVE ME THE BIGGEST CHU

I will embrace all my pure childhood love and enjoy this game of just huggins and nothing else! And i really like this concept for the series, if they continue doing Let's Go as a spinoff so we'd have a set of games appealing to each of the casual and hardcore demographics. I always feel bad complaining about hardcore when really my actual opinion on it is just "its not for me" and im actually only complaining about the rude fans who tell me im not a real fan unless i like their genre of stuff. Dude i was three years old when pokemon came out, i think ive earned my right by seniority to hug a plushie or two! So itd be awesome if hardcore doods could get their super hardcore game too, and we could just argue less cos we'd each be able to enjoy what we enjoy. Tho i mean the main series games already have a pretty clear divide between story/fun being the main game and hardcore competitive being a postgame thing. And yet we still get all this fandom fightibg over "ignore the actual 90% of the game, skip the plotline and only play competitive" apparantly being the "real" way to play it. Like man im worried that attitude is still gonna stick arpund even if they do give us separate games appealing to each side of the fandom?

EHHH WHATEVER! Im just gonna sit here in my corner of casual hugs and work on my self confidence to be able to stop feeling bad about not being someone else's idea of a "real" fan. If real fans can't have pikachu in a little hat, then that is not the life i wanna lead!

LITTLE GODDAMN HAT, MY GUY