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primeirarte · 7 years

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A redenção de Tyler The Creator em ‘Flower Boy’.

Scum Fuck Flower Boy (ou apenas Flower Boy) é o primeiro trabalho de Tyler The Creator que acompanho integralmente (vide ver o lançamento, escutar todas as faixas, acompanhar a divulgação, etc), e o quinto de sua carreira. Tyler é um dos fundadores do grupo de hip-hop Odd Future, o qual tem como integrante Frank Ocean, artista que já foi citado aqui no blog.

É de conhecimento público o passado conturbado de Tyler em sua carreira. O artista ao longo de sua trajetória se envolveu em várias polêmicas com outros cantores e rappers, como Bruno Mars, Chris Brown, e com as cantoras Tegan and Sara. Seus trabalhos anteriores são marcados por letras misóginas e violentas.

A partir desse cenário turbulento que emerge Flower Boy, um álbum marcado por arrependimento, confissões e retratação, além de uma postura majoritariamente diferente do usual. Tyler é conhecido pelas suas letras (e comportamento) insano e inconsequente, porém em seu último lançamento há uma grande mudança no horizonte de expectativas que temos do rapper de Los Angeles.

Para quem era comumente conhecido por suas rimas com teor homofóbico, presenciamos um grande plot-twist na carreira de Tyler. Não é a primeira vez em que ele se insinua não heterossexual; ele já deixou pistas disso em tweets, fotos no instagram, letras em álbuns anteriores, entrevistas, etc. Porém, tendo em vista seu rótulo de homem-negro-rapper e suas atitudes do passado, tais eventos não foram levados muito a sério.

Entretanto, em Scum Fuck Flower Boy, nos deparamos com o trabalho mais introspectivo de Tyler, com diversas referências à relacionamentos com garotos, pensamentos desconexos, arrependimento, solidão e tristeza. O próprio título faz uma referência à dualidade e contraste presente em sua vida. Enquanto as palavras ‘Scum Fuck’ soam agressivas, ressoando seu passado, os termos ‘Flower Boy’ demonstram sua sensibilidade e o processo de aceitação de sua sexualidade e de quebrar rótulos adquirindo uma postura feminina diante coisas que normalmente ‘homens’ não deveriam fazer.

Na faixa de abertura do álbum, ‘Foreword’, Tyler começa fazendo uma reflexão sobre sua vida e fama e questões relacionadas à motivação, negritude, violência policial; e faz metáforas com a direção automobilística com a direção de sua vida e suas decisões (que continuam aparecendo posteriormente ao longo do disco).

Em sequência temos ‘Where This Flower Blooms’, na qual o rapper descreve sua vida antes da fama; a faixa tem participação do cantor e rapper Frank Ocean. No meu ponto de vista, essa música já possui um dos melhores versos do álbum:

Tell these black kids they could be who they are Dye your hair blue, shit, I'll do it too Look, I smell like Chanel […] But other than that, man, it feels like I'm winning Went from statistic to millionaire CNN doubted 'cause my skin is dark But they forget when I get in my car

Principalmente devido ao verso ‘diga à essas crianças negras que elas podem ser quem elas quiserem. Pinte seu cabelo de azul, shit, eu também tingirei o meu. Olha, minha fragrância é Chanel. [...] Apesar de tudo isso me sinto vitorioso. Minhas finanças se tornaram milionárias, CNN duvidou porque minha pele é muito escura, mas esqueceram quando entrei em meu carro’.

No quesito da sonoridade, é legal notar o fato da base da música ser composta por piano e algumas percussões marcando o ritmo; de forma bem orgânica.

É possível notar a mensagem de futuro e inspiração que ele passa para as novas gerações. Em outro verso da música ele trabalha com as imagens de seeds, birds and bees, as quais seeds representariam as crianças, bees as pessoas negras. Essas representações também estão presentes na capa do álbum. No último verso citado anteriormente, o carro mencionado (que é uma McLaren Branca) também está ilustrado discretamente na arte.

A produção da faixa é minunciosamente trabalhada e contrasta sons de piano e violino com a voz do cantor e uma batida marcante.

Praticamente anexada à faixa ‘Where This Flower Blooms’, ‘Sometimes…’ funciona como uma interlude e intro para a faixa seguinte ‘See You Again’; em tal interlude, um homem que não se identifica, liga para a GOLF Radio e requisita uma música que fale sobre ele.

Em ‘See You Again’, temos a participação da cantora latina Kali Uchis. Nessa música Tyler descreve seu amante ideal, ilustrando sonhos e uma paixão platônica que só existe em sua mente, entretanto quando ele retorna para a realidade se encontra desamparado.

‘I can only see your face when I close my eyes Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever? I don't know if I'ma see you again’

Os últimos versos de See You Again basicamente fazem um resumo da trama presente na música. A produção, também de autoria de Tyler, é uma das mais bonitas do trabalho; e possui um caráter sinestésico, tendo em vista o fato de ser uma canção sobre amor, a voz de Kali Uchis se apresenta de forma suave e doce como mel.

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Recentemente (no último dia 27 de setembro especificamente), Tyler e Kali apresentaram See You Again no The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, realizando uma performance de tirar o fôlego e transmitindo uma energia sinestésica muito forte.

‘Who Dat Boy’ é uma das melhores músicas (junto com I Ain’t Got Time), no quesito de rap. Tem contribuição de A$AP Rocky (que inclusive está presente no Lust For Life de Lana Del Rey, o qual foi lançado no mesmo dia que Flower Boy).Em tal faixa, Tyler faz referência ao seu álbum anterior Cherry Bomb, a sua marca de roupas GOLF e narra o fato de ser um verdadeiro artista (designer, escritor, desenhista, etc), além de seu talento musical. Nos versos de A$AP, o rapper conta seus feitos como fashionista e menciona marcas e estilistas famosos como Guess, Raf Simons e Gucci. Nos versos finais em conjunto dos dois rappers, Tyler cita o fato de estar a procura de alguém como o Leo de 1995 (fazendo a referência à Leonardo Di Caprio, que estrelou a versão americana dos cinemas de Romeu e Julieta), e novamente menciona sua McLaren.

‘Pothole’ tem a participação de Jaden Smith e Tyler usa novamente a metáfora de dirigir com o ato de guiar a própria vida. Avisos de sua mãe com as falsas amizades, problemas de confiança e relacionamentos falhos são alguns dos obstáculos que ele se depara ao longo de sua carreira. Pothole é uma expressão em inglês para ‘buracos na pista’, e no verso em que Jaden contribui ele diz ‘nigga that’s a pothole, watch out the pothole'. Após a parte principal da música, com o refrão de Jaden, temos um outro muito bem trabalhado, com efeitos sonoros que possuem uma função imersiva do ouvinte ao álbum, que vão desde os barulhos de chave de um carro à assobios de passarinhos em um jardim.

Em meio à tais efeitos sonoros, a faixa passa para ‘Garden Shed’, que tem um inicio marcado por um freestyle de guitarra bem orgânico e vai progredindo durante a música. Tal faixa possui a participação de Estelle, cantora negra e dubladora de Steven Universe na versão americana do desenho (ela dubla a personagem da Garnet). A artista é dona de uma voz maravilhosa e essa participação é um dos ápices de Flower Boy. No final da faixa temos novamente a presença da guitarra com efeitos de aplificadores; em tal faixa Tyler aborda sua atração por garotos de forma sincera e melancólica. Os versos 'A verdade é que, desde quando eu era jovem, achei que era uma fase / pensei que seria como a frase "poof" e teria acabado; mas continua acontecendo' são trabalhados de forma extremamente sincera e crua, e nesse momento claramente o ouvinte leva um choque, vivenciando uma catarse, principalmente ao ouvir pela primeira vez, devido ao fato de não estar 100% preparado para ouvir tal tipo de coisa.

Em seguida temos ‘Boredom’, onde o principal tema da música é 'find some time, find some time to do something', onde Tyler parece lutar contra à procrastinação e ao tédio, e de certa maneira, fazer um mantra para seus ouvintes despenderem seu tempo em coisas produtivas. Em linhas gerais, temos uma música com mensagem positiva sem cair no clichê good-vibes.

Sem sombra de dúvidas, o ápice (de verdade) do disco, se dá em ‘I Ain't Got Time’. Tal canção foi escrita inicialmente para Kanye West, que rejeitou a faixa e recusou participar da mesma. Tyler ficou em parte decepcionado pela recusa, pois segundo ele a faixa casaria muito bem com o estilo e voz de Kanye; Tyler também ofereceu uma parceria para Nicki Minaj, porém a rapper não conseguiu pensar em nenhum verso para a música e também descartou o convite. Tais ocorrências deixaram Tyler chateado, mas nem por isso ele desistiu da faixa. Muito pelo contrário, trabalhou arduamente para aperfeiçoá-la e deixou alguns shades na letra. A canção possuí ritmo agressivo, contagiante e de certa forma até dançante. Não sei ao certo, porém tenho grandes suspeitas que o rapper tenha usado alguns efeitos sonoros de Super Mario Bros como sample. O verso mais forte de álbum é quando ele fala 'I've been kissing white boys since 2004', deixando claro o fato de se relacionar com garotos, e não ter vergonha disso.

Após 'I Ain't Got Time', o álbum inicia um movimento decrescente no nível de energia. ‘911/ Mr. Lonely’ quebra totalmente a energia da música anterior e abre um cenário mais melancólico. Os versos "I'm the loniest man alive [...] I can't even lie, I've been lonely as fuck” demonstram isso. Em seguida, Tyler discorre sobre sua solidão e seus sentimentos que podem ter ocasionado tão sensação.

‘Droppin' Seeds’ tem participação de Lil' Wayne e segue a estética relacionada à jardinagem/flores proposta no álbum, e se assemelha com Garden Shed nesse aspecto. A sonoridade se assemelha à que era predominante nos anos 90', no cenário de hip-hop/RnB californiano daquela época, lembrando algo como Boys II Men.

‘November’ acentua o mood melancólico do álbum, com Tyler expondo suas inseguranças e preocupações com sua vida. No meio da música temos uma interlude com pessoas falando como foi o 'November' de cada uma; isso de certa forma se assemelha com o outro de Futura Free de Frank Ocean. Na segunda parte da canção, Tyler conta ter escrito a música para uma pessoa e queria que ela soubesse o que ele sente em relação a ela, entretanto a faixa termina com um recado de voicemail dizendo que não há ninguém disponível para atender a ligação e para ele deixar o recado.

‘Glitter’, penúltima faixa, quebra de forma tímida o mood triste e tenta levantar o astral do álbum, mas respeitando os sentimentos despertados anteriormente. É interessante notar que Glitter é a continuação de November, ou seja, em Glitter Tyler deixa o recado para a pessoa amada e como ela o faz se sentir feliz e perdidamente apaixonado. 'Toda vez que você está por perto eu sinto como Glitter / Você é a pessoa que eu entregaria a minha vida / Você é a pessoa que eu preciso em minha vida / Pois eu amo ter você por perto' tais versos demonstram a imagem do cantor completamente apaixonado por essa determinada pessoa. No final da faixa, a secretária eletrônica avisa que não foi possível enviar a mensagem porque ele não estaria falando ou porque a conexão está ruim, e a canção termina com o rapper falando 'fuck'. A partir de então podemos trabalhar com duas hipóteses: a primeira é de que Tyler estaria tão apaixonado a ponto de ter devaneios e se perder da realidade, fazendo ligações mas não verbalizando nada por medo/estado de choque; a segunda seria de que a conexão entre as linhas telefônicas realmente estarem ruins e ele ter sido azarado em não conseguir deixar sua mensagem para a pessoa amada.

A faixa de encerramento, ‘Enjoy Right Now, Today', possui apenas instrumental; porém não deixa de passar seu recado. Ela fecha a narrativa criada com uma atmosfera sonora positiva e brilhante. Aparentemente ao longo da faixa tem-se um sample de uma criança falando 'hey' de forma bem amistosa. Ao final da música, é possível escutar o barulho de uma porta de um carro sendo fechada, dando fim ao passeio musical proporcionado pelo Scum Fuck Flower Boy.

A redenção de Tyler proporciona uma experiência emocionante e comovente aos ouvintes, e aos mais radicais (entenda-se intolerantes) choque e repulsa. Tyler fez de Flower Boy uma das suas maiores produções, e sem dúvida um dos melhores álbuns lançados em 2017, no quesito lírico, sonoro, e nos pontos de coesão e coerência com o conceito proposto.

#Tyler The Creator #Flower Boy #review #hip-hop #rap #rnb #primeira arte

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whoopwhoopwhoopwhoop123 · 7 years

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THE MATURING OF THE FLOWER BOY

(it’s for my english class, so lol)Tyler the Creator yet again fill the headlines with his fourth solo album Flower Boy. People believe that this American rapper chose the title Flower Boy to represent him coming to terms with his sexuality and embracing his feminine side. This Alternative Hip-Hop album features fresh, up and coming artists like Rex Orange County, Kali Uchis, Anna of the North, and Steve Lacy, and also some familiar faces like A$AP Rocky, Jaden Smith, Estelle, Lil’ Wayne and his fellow Odd Future member, Frank Ocean.

Foreword, the first song off of the album, acts as the introduction to Tyler’s new era. The song starts with basic beats and clock-ticking sound effect, followed by a psychedelic guitar progression and Rex Orange County’s distinctive vocals right after Tyler’s deep raspy rapping. The melancholic minor scale and psychedelic vibe continue until the seventh song off of the album, Garden Shed, featuring well-known British singer, Estelle.

The happier side of Tyler showed in the other half of the album. Boredom has the same beat as Foreword, but with a more blissful guitar progression which includes most major and flat chords. While listening to this particular song, I can visualize how bright and happy the song is. This song is the type of songs millennials would listen while gazing at the clouds or watching the sunset, which I really love.

911/Mr. Lonely is most definitely a fan favorite. It has a catchy bass line and catchy melody. The “call me, call me” part has stuck in my head for weeks now and I am not mad about it.

Droppin’ Seeds is one of my favorites. The jazzy instrumentals fit so well with Lil’ Wayne’s chain-smoker voice. With the saxophone and trumpets, nothing on this album can beat its catchy-ness.

Glitter and Enjoy Right Now, Today are the last two songs from the album. I must say, these last songs are the most gleeful songs he ever produces.

I can say it is definitely different from what he produced from his 3 last albums. But songs like Who Dat Boy and I Ain’t Got Time! still, have some similar elements like the heavy bass and hip-hop beats.

In Where This Flower Bloom, Tyler talked about his life before he rose and bloom into someone “famous”. He talks about how people act in his surroundings, but he also talks about his femininity and police brutality in the second verse; “Tell these black kids they could be who they are. Dye your hair blue, s***, I’ll do it too. Look, I smell like Chanel, I never mall grip with my manicured nails.” “Went from statistic to millionaire, CNN doubted ‘cause my skin is dark. But they forget when I get in my car.”

Following the melancholic theme, See You Again have one of the most depressing lyrics in the album. It is a love song about someone imaginary. “You live in my dream state, relocate my fantasy. I stay in reality. You live in my dream state. Anytime I count sheep, that’s the only time we make up. You exist behind my eyelids. I don’t wanna wake up.” I also love the fact that he romanticizes brown colored eyes because not often people write about or admiring brown or dark colored eyes. “It’s them rose-tinted cheeks, yeah it’s them dirt-coloured eyes. Sugar honey iced tea, bumblebee on the scene. I’d give up my bakery to have a piece of your pie.” Tyler really breaks the stereotype of black boys being insensitive and aggressive. With these lyrics, Tyler shows that black boys are able to love as tenderly as boys or girls of other race.

For his happier songs, Glitter really captures the concept of Black Boy Joy. It is about him attempting to leave a voicemail for a crush. It is written beautifully yet so satiric. “Ayo, mirror mirror on the wall, who the brightest of them all? I never been the darkest one ‘cause my self-esteem is tall…… They ain’t build me up so I block ‘em like Lego.” The song ended with a cold “We didn’t get your message, either because you were not speaking or because of a bad connection.” and Tyler cursing under his breath after that makes me chuckle.

And of course, as a rapper, Tyler’s style of writing is not like a poet trying to write for their lovers, it is definitely not formal or conventionally “swooning” but he uses a lot of beautiful and thought-provoking sentences and metaphors to describe how he feel about something and it is what makes it so interesting.

I think that this album is his best album yet, lyrically and musically. You can clearly see that is Tyler growing and maturing as a person through the choice of words and the instrumentals that he used. I admire the artistry and the meaning behind the album and can’t wait for him to produce more albums like this. I think that he really captures the visuals through his album cover, because every time I give the album a listen, my mind always goes to the album’s color scheme and the sunflowers shown on the cover. Overall, Flower Boy is an album that deserves a four-star rating from everyone and if you don’t like Tyler the Creator’s previous style of music, I would suggest you give Tyler a chance and listen to the album, I promise it would not disappoint you.

#flower boy #tyler the creator

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beattalk · 6 years

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Tyler, The Creator - Flower Boy ALBUM REVIEW

Flower Boy, or Scum Fuck Flower Boy, is Tyler, The Creator's 4th album and 5th overall project (including mixtapes), following his 2015 release, Cherry Bomb. In the past, Tyler was famous for his heavy foul language on his first albums, Bastard and Goblin. These albums explored themes pertaining to death and depression, but he has evolved into a lighter sound, highlighting positivity with his fun-loving personality. Flower Boy was released on July 21, 2017.

This album just feels like a dream. With the retro production to the heavenly vocals, Tyler has certainly stepped up his overall aesthetic with this project, while producing and writing it all by himself. Collaborating with artists like Frank Ocean and Kali Uchis, he paints a vivid picture of a beautiful landscape, filled with sunshine, fast cars, and bees. Listening to this record feels like a drive down a sunny road. Tyler infuses many elements of music from 70s R&B to a more modern sound of hard-hitting bass, like on tracks Who Dat Boy and 911/Mr. Lonely. The stunning choice of sounds he uses to make upbeat bangers such as I Ain’t Got Time! blows me away. Tyler knows how to make a crazy song, but in the weirdest way possible. Its overall sound is so beautifully orchestrated, and is guaranteed to induce a toe tap at the very least. He even incorporates his own radio show, Golf Radio, into it in tracks Sometimes… and I Ain’t Got Time! He gathers an all-star cast r&b stars, from older legends like Estelle and Lil Wayne to newer superstars such as Anna of the North, Kali Uchis and Rex Orange County. They benefit the project so much, and their talents complement Tyler’s low croons and raps very well. Aside from the aesthetic of the album, the subject matter of it all is very significant as well. The album explores nostalgia, happiness, and even one’s sexuality. It’s revealed on this album that Tyler likes other men (though it isn’t clear if he’s gay/bisexual/etc), using imagery such as in Garden Shed. He expresses that he worries that revealing who he truly is will lead to the fall of some of his friendships, as the LGBT community isn’t exactly held in a high regard in the rap world. At the end of the album, he quits lamenting over the past and his successes and mistakes, and makes it a point to live in the moment (in the instrumental track Enjoy Right Now, Today). I found the message and subject matter moving, profound, and the album to be overall beautiful, despite such hard language (the album’s full title is Scum Fuck Flower Boy, after all).

There weren’t too many things I disliked about this album. Praise aside, on the longer tracks on this album, their outros seemed to draw on a bit long. Though it did provide great imagery, it seemed somewhat repetitive after a while, and I found myself skipping to the next track, especially on the song, Boredom. Though it didn’t affect my overall view of these particular songs/the album, and they serve their purpose, I just found myself somewhat… Bored.

This is always the hardest part of writing a positive review. I pretty much enjoyed every single track on this album. But, if I had to narrow it down, my favorite tracks on this album are Who Dat Boy which features A$AP Rocky, Boredom which features Rex Orange County and Anna of the North, and 911/Mr. Lonely which features Frank Ocean and Steve Lacy. Who Dat Boy is simply a banger. Tyler and Rocky complement each other like peanut butter and jam, and watching them build off each other’s rhymes was spectacular. It’s a crazy track, with astounding flows and wordplay. This song gets me hyped like no other. Boredom, on the other hand, is more of a sad and somber song. Tyler addresses loneliness and others’ desire of spending time with him with a landscape of vocals from Rex Orange County and Anna of the North, and his own thoughts. It’s the lengthiest song on the album, and is a calming song which strikes a chord in the heart of the listener. Tyler is being urged to “find some time to do something” repeatedly, and though he expresses loneliness and emptiness, he finds that seeing other people won’t satisfy him at all. Lastly, my favorite song to come out this year, 911/Mr. Lonely. This song is just spectacular, in every sense of the word. It’s appealing to the ears, with a bouncy funk groove, and yet the lyrical content is some of the most somber of this album. Steve Lacy and Frank Ocean deliver spectacular verses, and their voices complement the background music quite a lot. The many music switches provides many unique takes on the track. The transition between 911 and Mr. Lonely is smooth too, with A$AP Rocky and ScHoolboy Q helping give background vocals and serving as the contrast, suggesting he should being lonely and antisocial and have a night out on the town. Tyler refutes this short statement with Mr. Lonely, a minute of fast bars, clever wordplay and astounding delivery. He talks about feeling alone and never having the same opportunities as his other friends, and drawing that back to the fact that he feels alone. Typing it out, it seems somewhat corny, I admit, but in musical form, it fits the music and album very very well.

If I had to choose one, it’d probably be Pothole. Though I am fond of the track (which features Jaden Smith), it seems somewhat boring compared to the rest of the tracks, even to the one about boredom. The production is much more laid-back and simple, but it feels like that’s what Tyler was aiming for all along. There really isn’t anything more negative for me to say.

Overall, if you couldn’t tell by the review, I enjoy this album quite a bit. It’s funky, it’s positive, but it delivers a dark subject with a happy resolution, and makes the listener feel motivated to live in the moment. I give this album an 8, and I believe this one of my favorite releases of 2017.

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iloveshayanderson-blog · 6 years

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4 Reasons Flower Boy is Tyler the Creator’s Best Album

When Flower Boy received a Grammy nomination, no one was surprised. However what surprised everyone, was the artist who created the album. Because it came from the fowled mouth, edgy, angry rapper, Tyler the Creator. The same artist whose grotesque lyrics, resulted in his permanent ban from multiple countries. Clearly talented, his lack of maturity resulted in decent projects, that always seemed to be missing that special something. Could this Grammy nomination be validation that Tyler the Creator has finally matured as a artist, and capable of making art? Because Flower Boy checks every box. Yet many die hard fans will raise their pitchforks defending, that their favorite album from Tyler is his best work. Music is subjective, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but objectively Flower Boy is better that any of Tylers past work.

Flower Boy is more than an assortment of rap songs bundled together. It’s an experience, with a general theme that connects each song together, that plays like a movie. Although it’s technically classified as a rap album, it has a noticeable lack of lyricism from Tyler. Instead opting for a instrumental heavy album, with talented singers shining in the songs they feature in. But the lack of Tyler doesn’t mean he hasn't been practicing his wordplay. Tyler delivers some of his best lyricism to date. The maturity and attention to detail on this album is what ultimately sets this album apart from any of his past work.

On Flower Boy, Tyler sets out to create a project that sets it apart from the rest of his previous work from the start. Where projects like Cherry Bomb, Wolf, and Goblin, play like a playlist of songs. He ultimately sets out to create a concept album. But creating a concept album can be challenging. Each song has to be bound to a central idea or theme, almost like writing a tv show. Stride to far away from the theme, and the song feels random, distant from the rest and makes for a messy or awkward listing experience. But when done right, makes the music and album great. For instance, of the most critically acclaimed concept’s album of the decade comes from Kendrick Lamar. To Pimp A Butterfly is regarded as Kendrick’s best work. Because he crafted a concept album, with very dark, themes that are meant to teach a lesson. Flower Boy may not be the politically fueled album that To Pimp A Butterfly was. But it doesn't take away the central theme of the album. Which helps create a movie like experience, with each song almost like a scene, Tyler wanted to paint in your mind. None of Tyler’s past work even comes close to recreating the experience Flower Boy delivers.

Tyler makes it clear on Flower Boy that, although he is a rapper, and he has made multiple rap albums in the past, that he is going to rap on the album as little as possible. In hindsight it doesn’t sound like a logical plan. Instead shifting his focus on the production, and letting his friends shine. Flower Boy has some of the best production ever released. His attention to detail is unreal. From the simple guitar riffs and chords. To the simple melodies that give the project a beautiful summer experience. With Track 7 Garden Shed, comes one of the most beautifully composed songs of the year. Simple but beautiful. It sums up the project as a whole to a tee. Technically a rap album, you are blindsided by the amount of gifted singers on the project. Kali Uchis and up and coming R&B Columbian artist featured on track 4, See You Again. The aforementioned Garden Shed, features Estelle, and multiple appearances from Rex Orange County providing vocals. But the cherry on top, is the guest appearances from Frank Ocean. When Frank simply says “Chirp, Chirp” on 911/Mr. Lonely, you just can’t help but feel happy. Tyler sits in the back seat for many songs on the album. Watching these talented artists shine on the song he made.

But just incase meticulously crafted instrumentals, and instantly talented singers aren't your cup of tea. Well Tyler certainly doesn't disappoint his old fans with his word play. If anything, this is the best lyricism from Tyler in years. Track 9, I Ain’t Got Time, is vintage Tyler. Angry, Raspy, and ready to cause trouble. On Track 6, Pothole, Tyler speaks of with people from his past, and the fact, he is better off without them. All while alluding to driving a car, and shows how creative Tyler can be, using driving as a method for the things going on in his life. On Track 8 Boredom, Tyler speaks about how busy he is with business deals, and not being able to enjoy life. In the perspective of being locked in a room all day, with no plans. Tyler proves his lyricism is getting better with age, and maturity.

Practice makes perfect, and Tyler the Creator, is the best example of this. Tyler’s previous work isn’t terrible. It just doesn't compare the work Tyler is capable of making. Projects like Cherry Bomb, had many inspirations that Tyler would fulfill later on Flower Boy. But ironically bombed on Cherry Bombs initial release. Wolf was the project that made Tyler stand out from his peers at the time. It cemented him as a top tier artist, but many songs didn’t hold their weight. Yet those songs even with their imperfections, are loved and adored by many fans, myself included. But ultimately they just don’t compare to Flower Boy.

What makes music so great is, that there is no clear way of distinguishing, what songs are good or bad. It is clearly subjective, with many factors leading to people's views of good or bad music. So when arguing which Tyler the Creator album is best, is useless. But you can not deny that it is great that Tyler the Creator is finally getting acclaim for the talent he possesses. Love it or hate it. Flower Boy is the album that is getting the acclaim, and recognition as Tyler’s best album yet.

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suslikejesus-blog · 7 years

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Flowerboy by Tyler, the Creator -my review

I said to myself, “Wait, these chords are so fucking astounding.” As I listened throughout the album. Damn, Tyler is really going to fucking do it to them again was the first thing I thought when I heard Foreward. Foreward introduces the topics of the album from materialism, not wanting to have that materialism, how he’s different and successful, lacks friends and a partner and the topic most talked about throughout this album is his sexuality.

Starting with Garden Shed just to get the “oh my god, he’s gay” out of the way. That seems to be what everyone is focusing on, but they don’t just listen to the way the music expresses the static feeling of having to hide emotions because that’s what Tyler lays down with the lyrics and music. It starts with the slow chords from Austin (kind of like when you find someone cute) , then the drums (want their attention), the synths (wanting to risk it all and go for a kiss), a second guitar (the what ifs) and then Estelle. All this comes so beautifully together, focusing on how to find the words to tell that person who can “smell” what you got to say. Followed by some really distorted strums from the guitar symbolizing the tough feeling of how to tell that person how you feel. Then Tyler comes with the lyrics speaking about the feelings he was hiding, and coming out the garden shed and all this put together just makes my eye shed a tear. Making more of a reference to his alleged “homosexuality” he mentions “kissing white boys since 2004″ in Who Dat Boy.

Who Dat Boy was the first single to pretty much announce that Tyler has been working on music and that we shouldn’t fret. When I listened to this and watched the visuals I felt like he was going to start rapping in a way he “disliked”. I was shaking my head, but I was really left feeling something like “Find Your Wings” from Cherry Bomb but it was cool to see him still tapping into his Wolf alter ego with the deep bass and crazy snares reminding me of his past self with a new friend ASAP Rocky. As much of a decent song it is, it’s one of my least favorite of the album just because I don’t feel as if it fits the entire feeling of the album but it does touch on him being successful and different. But the fact that he says “that cherry be the bomb” makes me think this song was cut off of Cherry Bomb but it’s cool that it was because he got ASAP Rocky on this song who provided that “jiggy” verse. Something that did get me feeling jiggy at the end of the Who Dat Boy visual was 911/ Mr. Lonely.

911/ Mr. Lonely is what I wanted. “This is what I want!!!!”- I yelled to my mom as she heard the music blasting all the way to the living room and me yelling at the top of my lungs when I got a hold of the single. Steve Lacy, Frank Ocean and Anna of the North make this song 200%. I yell this song at the top of my lungs whenever it comes on when listening to this album because it was so catchy, but it brings me down to reality after listening to the angelic first 9 songs of the album. Making me feel alone, ringing all the bells that reminded me of why I did things as he defined them as loneliness and that essentially marked the turning point of the album as the interlude Droppin Seeds featuring Lil Wayne is a good bridge to November.

November slaps us in the face with the fact that we all face insecurities. The overthinking, the anxiety, the pressure and stress of having to complete what we got to do is what Tyler highlighted in this song and compiled it in such a beautiful manner. Making me feel even more human and making me think of my own November, and once he made me think about it he hit me with that beat switch. Making me want to go back, but I couldn’t. We got to keep moving and we realize that after singing along “I ain’t doin fine, I lost my motherfucking mind, time travel back and help me find” to a gentleman saying “My November is now” as a kind of response to that lost feeling to help us catch ourselves and come back and enjoy today. Ending it with a phone call to explain to someone that they make Tyler feel like “Glitter”.

Glitter is what we all feel when we are infatuated with a wonderful being. Until we have to hope if that’s how they feel, then being hit with a beat change to only realize that it’s not how they feel and you are hit with the image of being fat boys and how y’all ain’t going to work out. Then I remember that maybe that’s why he hopes to See You Again in a last attempt to get you to feel what he has to lay down.

See You Again is perhaps the number one song in my opinion. We get to hear Tyler sing again, and it’s not as rough as it used to be and this song is just magical, makes me feel love through music, the chords and the entire composition with Kali Uchis just gives me the chills every fucking time. Cupid hits us and that person we love comes to our mind because they are not with us but they’re just a vision, and we’re chasing and waiting in angst as we are waiting for them to come around. But we know they have rose tinted cheeks and dirt colored eyes and they’re so sweet they have bumblebees following them around. But they’re just a vision, so he hope’s he’ll see them again as we probably hope the same.

The last five songs that I didn’t mention are titled “Where the Flower Blooms”, “Pothole”, “Boredom”, “I Ain’t Got Time”, and “Enjoy Right Now, Today” and they all kind of tie in together in one section pretty much summing up the whole theme of the album. Growing up being different can be a blessing, as it was cause he rocks, rolls, as he preaches in Pothole about how it wasn’t easy to be as successful. And he blooms and grows spoken about in I Ain’t Got Time and Enjoy Right Now, Today as he doesn’t have time for these Ni**as and Bitches because he’s too successful to worry about them and how he’s grown to not worry about what others say as he used to, which is why he kind of blew up when he dissed Hopsin.. And well Boredom touches on how time flies when we’re having fun so that’s why we should find the time to do something which is essentially why we should “Enjoy Right Now, Today”. The last song of the album is an instrumental with vocals from Pharrell and it’s just such a good instrumental, just as Treehome95 from Wolf was, it kind of makes you want to get up and do something, and it inspired me to get up and type out this review of the whole album.

Personally, this album to me was a 9.5/10 and it’s just so good. I hope Tyler goes #1 and I wish him nothing but success because he’s gotten many of us through depression, heartbreak, confusion of our love life, anger, etc. For those of you that hated Tyler for his lyrics back from 2010 to now, please don’t act like you’re his number one fan. To those that say he’s lost it since 2010 shut the fuck up and grow up. To those that are looking for a new album to listen to that will keep your ear interested, look no further. To those that have listened to him since Bastard and have stuck through with his progression, I love you, hit me up let’s geek together.

Thank y’all for reading, if y’all read all the way thought please follow me on twitter: @suslikejesus or on ig: @daueschrist and even here on tumblr, Leave comments, constructive or appreciative and I will definitely be motivated to review music more often and even post more often.

Thank you once again and don’t forget that music is subjective and don’t forget to check his music out.

https://itun.es/us/ui0Xkb

#Tyler The Creator #Flowerboy #scumfuck flowerboy #music #music review #ofwg #ofwgkta

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anavoliselenu · 7 years

Text

Hiched chapter 21

I don’t have to tally tonight’s numbers to know we’ve been more than successful at winning over new clients and striking new deals with existing clients. And best of all, it’s been easy, casual, and fun. I’m in awe. My wife is one amazing creature.

Later, I throw Howard’s trash away along with mine, and get us each a fresh beer. “Thanks for being here tonight.”

He rises to his feet. “Hey, no problem.” His right hand disappears into his pocket, and a second later he hands me his business card. “Here’s my direct cell. Let’s talk late next week when I’m back from China. I’d love to see what we could do with some fresh talent helping us.”

I nod. “I’d like that.” My pocket is full of business cards and promises for follow-up meetings. I can’t recall the last time business has been so good.

Toward the end of the evening, I’m itching to send everyone off with their parting gifts—goodie bags filled with fine French chocolates and a gift card for a massage on us—and get Selena alone. But there are still at least a dozen people here, along with a couple of corporate bigwigs jumping in a bouncy house.

I chuckle and head over to sit with Selena. She’s abandoned her heels and is perched on a bar stool deep in conversation with Estelle from Parrish Footwear, the woman who, when we were first dating, Selena thought I was flirting with at a business dinner. It’s good to see them getting along like old friends. Laughing and smiling as they talk.

Just before I reach them, Selena rises from her stool, excusing herself to take a phone call. I’m not sure what could be so important that she’d cut a client meeting short, so I watch her from the corner of my eye. Her brow furrows and she paces back and forth as she listens to the caller on the other end.

If this is Bradford fucking Daniels again, so help me God . . .

“Babe?” I place my hand on her wrist.

“I’ll be right there. Thanks.” She hangs up and swallows hard.

“Snowflake?”

“It’s my dad.” Her voice cracks ever so slightly. But that small loss of control tells me everything. If she can’t keep her cool in public, in front of so many guests . . . whatever she just heard must be devastating.

I know that she’d never be able to live with herself if she broke down within earshot of our guests. With my hand on her lower back, I quickly usher her from the banquet room and out the front doors.

Once we’re outside, she inhales a huge breath and tears spill from her eyes.

“What is it?”

“His nurse called. He’s being rushed to the ER. He fell and hit his head.”

Shit. Ever since Fred’s final treatment failed a few weeks ago, his health has been getting progressively worse. So much so that he rarely comes into the office anymore, and he hired a nurse to watch over him at home.

“You need to go,” I say. “Go to the hospital and be with him.”

“Are you sure? What about . . .” Her gaze drifts back to the party, where we can still hear the band playing and the guests’ happy chatter.

I grip her shoulders and lean in to press a kiss to her lips. “I’ve got this. We’re wrapping up anyway.”

She nods and wipes away the tears that keep escaping despite her bravery.

“Do you want me to come with you?” I offer.

She shakes her head. “No. Make sure you see everyone out and follow up on every deal.”

A smile crosses my lips. “Of course I will. I’ll see you at home later?”

“Yes, I think so.”

We share a small, meaningful kiss, and then she’s gone.

Chapter Nine

Selena

Two weeks and what feels like fifty gallons of coffee later, Justin and I have closed all the deals we started at our big beach bash.

It seems like half of New York City is still buzzing about that party. Our company’s financial future is about as secure as it’s going to get—we’ve got a dozen fat new contracts and three times as many promising network contacts to tap into for years to come. Tate & Cane Enterprises is doing amazing. I should be on top of the world . . .

Except this morning, I woke up to a voice mail from the hospital. Dad’s health has taken a sudden turn for the worse.

Two weeks ago, on the evening of the big networking gala, Dad was apparently working late in his study—which he shouldn’t have been doing, damn it, but I’ve never been able to keep him away from his job. He fell down in the hallway somehow, probably on the way to the bathroom. He either stumbled or just plain passed out. His night nurse found him lying unconscious and called 911.

That night, it was all I could do to keep from bursting into terrified, angry tears as I drove at top speed toward the hospital. Every horrible thing that might have happened to Dad flashed through my brain in a gruesome slide show. God only knew how long he was lying there on the carpet. He could have died right then.

Screw the party—I should have been there. I should have checked in on him more often. Hell, I should have found a way to keep his stubborn ass in bed in the first place. If I’d just tried harder, looked after him more closely, been a better daughter . . .

A blaring honk jerks my attention back to the road. I try to concentrate on getting to the hospital again without adding another family casualty to the mix. Those self-blaming thoughts were unproductive two weeks ago, and brooding over them now is no better. But they still gnaw at the back of my mind.

After what feels like hours but is probably only twenty minutes, I reach the hospital. I park in the rear lot, shove a handful of quarters into the meter, and rush inside. I check in with the front desk nurse, but I don’t need her to direct me to Dad’s room in the oncology wing anymore. I know its location by heart now: third floor, turn right twice, last door on the left, number 302. Too impatient to wait for the elevator, I take the stairs two at a time.

As I open the door, I suck in a breath when I catch sight of Dad. Even after visiting him half a dozen times in the past two weeks, it’s still scary to see him in such grave condition. The friendly giant of my childhood, the wise, gentle god who always knew exactly what to do, now lies pale and haggard in a hospital bed with a dizzying array of tubes and wires and beeping machines all around him. His mortality stalks closer and closer, slow but inexorable—it doesn’t need to hurry, because it knows it will catch its prey in the end—and I have no choice but to stare the beast right in its bloodshot, jaundiced eye.

I hate this.

I want to fix every single thing, make all his pain and sickness go away.

But I’m powerless.

When I sit in the single chair at his bedside, Dad stirs and his eyes drift open. He sits up with a slight effort. “Selena . . . how are you, sweetheart?” Maybe it’s just my imagination, but his voice sounds a little hoarse.

A gloomy laugh vomits up my throat. He’s lying here looking so weak, and he’s asking me how I am? “Never mind, that’s not important. Are you okay? What happened? How long do they think you’re going to be here?”

The spot where he split his head and needed stitches is now just a faint line above his eyebrow. It’s healed nicely. But it’s the stuff inside that counts. That’s where the sickness I can’t see or fight lurks.

“Slow down, sweetie, one question at a time. I just had another little dizzy spell. Probably from the chemotherapy more than the cancer itself. And they don’t know yet; they’re still running tests. I swear those vampires have sucked out half my blood. But the doctor said it could be anywhere from a couple more weeks all the way to . . .”

I swallow past the lump in my throat. Dad lets his sentence trail off, but I know what he would have said. All the way to the end.

Dad shifts a little to lay his clammy hand over mine. “Now, tell me how things are going with you.”

Stubborn old man. But if he wants a distraction, I guess I can’t blame him. And it’ll probably ease his mind to hear about our good fortune. I tug my cardigan over my shoulders since the air-conditioning in this place is always set to frigid, and I lean in closer to Dad.

“I’m not quite done running the numbers yet . . .” Before everything went totally off the rails today, my plan was to finalize everything by lunchtime. “But I think we’re pretty much back on track. My projections have been looking better than ever. I’d say things are in the bag.”

The board meeting isn’t for another few days, so their decision still remains to be seen, but barring any random disasters, Tate & Cane will almost certainly be safe from their swinging ax.

Dad interrupts my thoughts with a gravelly chuckle. “That’s not what I meant, sweetheart. I wanted to know how you are.”

Oh. It takes me a moment to process the question. “I’m fine,” I say with a confused shrug. Exhausted from pulling two weeks of crazy overtime and weak from panic over Dad’s health, sure . . . but a good night’s sleep can take care of that. Or the former problem, at least. “Why do you ask?” Surely he has more important things to worry about.

“Because you’re my daughter, and no matter what happens, you’ll always be my baby girl. And because you don’t sound so sure. Are you happy? How are things with Justin?”

Oh fuck. I have no idea. Where do I even begin?

“I guess . . . I don’t know,” I admit.

“Still?” His eyebrow raises.

“What with your health and all the craziness at work lately, I haven’t exactly had much time to focus on my own life,” I say, defending myself. And Dad’s latest episode has driven everything else straight out of my head.

“That’s no reason to put yourself last, sweetheart. Someday I’ll be gone, and success comes and goes on its own schedule, but you’re the only you you’ve got. And love . . . if you nurture it well, love will always be there to keep you strong. So it’s important to take time to put your own house in order.”

His words hit me square in the chest. Helpless to disagree, I nod. “Okay, Dad. I promise I’ll work on it.”

Not to mention the fact that he’s right, of course. I can’t avoid it any longer. This uncertainty about our relationship has been eating me up inside. And no amount of throwing myself into work has helped.

“That’s my smart girl. Now, go ahead and get on with your day. I’ll be all right without you hovering over me.” He winks at me and I smile despite myself.

With another squeeze of his hand, I kiss him on the cheek and shake my head. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll stay for a couple hours, Dad. Work can wait.”

The need to be in his presence, to hear his soft breathing, to smell his musky soap smell is almost a physical ache. I don’t even want to think about the fact that there will come a time when I can no longer have those things.

He nods. “Fine by me, sweetie.”

• • •

Later, on my way back from the hospital to the office building, orange construction signs block the road I normally take. I haul the steering wheel over with a growl to find another route. Today, of all possible days, is when the city finally gets off its ass and fixes potholes? Sweet Jesus, I don’t have time for this crap—

Well, really, I have plenty of time. It’s just the patience I don’t have. One more thing and my hair might catch fire from stress.

Manhattan’s maze of one-way streets forces me to take a wide detour. Waiting at a red light that’s so long I swear it must be broken, I drum my fingers on the steering wheel, looking around the street just to pass the time. I don’t often come to this precise part of town. Although . . .

Huh, that tea shop looks familiar.

A slow smile uncurls on my lips. It’s the place where I bought Justin our Japanese teapot as a housewarming gift. I still remember that night, the first in our new shared penthouse. The teapot was a peace offering. An acknowledgment that we weren’t in harmony yet, but we could get there if we tried—and I was willing to try.

God, and I’d been so nervous that night. Moving into a shiny new penthouse apartment with a man as gorgeous and sexy and bold as Justin. When I remember the careful way he agreed to go slow and nurtured a tender make-out session between us, it seems almost comical.

Warmth floods my chest and I have to laugh out loud. I kept totally missing the picture, so fate had to smack me in the face with it. It’s almost ironic that such a simple coincidence tells me what I should have realized so long ago.

I’m in love with Justin.

Somewhere between our shared childhoods and the first time we slept together, I fell hard for that wonderful, maddening, passionate man, with no hope of ever coming back. And even when I was so angry at Justin I could spit, I was still in love with him. I guess Dad was right about love always being there . . . although that’s probably not the way he meant it.

But my euphoria soon deflates. No matter what I feel, I still don’t know where we stand. No matter how generously I try to see things from his perspective, no matter how many times he says he made a horrible mistake and he’ll never, ever do it again, nothing can erase the fact that he lied to me. He withheld vital information from me in order to control how I feel about him.

I didn’t tell you something awkward because I was afraid to lose you is an understandable human weakness, but it’s still manipulative. And the memory of seeing him in our bathroom with that needle still gives me goosebumps.

So even if I do love him, I have no idea what to do with this information. Or even what I want to do. My heart is still split between hating Justin and missing him, so badly it feels like a piece of me has been torn out.

I let out a huff of frustration. Whenever we’re together, I immediately find myself gravitating toward him as if nothing bad ever happened between us. Our attraction is a force of nature. Opposite magnetic poles that have always been, and will always be, drawn together.

And it’s not just my body—although God knows I can’t keep my hands off him, no matter how hard I try. Our minds and personalities fit into each other’s gaps. Our business strategies weren’t quite enough on their own, but when united, they pulled the company out of the red. And when I was suddenly called away from the party, I automatically trusted Justin to handle everything. Me, the control freak who took forever to learn how to unclench and delegate to her own best friend.

We complete each other. So perfectly, I can’t help but wonder . . .

Maybe there’s a way we can make this work after all.

For the past several weeks, I’ve been doing what I always do in hairy social situations—repressing the hell out of my emotions by immersing myself in work, like an ostrich burying her head in the sand. I had hoped that, with enough time and space, my feelings would naturally settle enough to let me articulate and sort through them.

But that tactic clearly hasn’t worked. Putting my emotions on ice was just a poor excuse for procrastination—it wasn’t a real problem-solving strategy. I just didn’t want to deal with the problem at all. A relationship isn’t the kind of thing that can solve itself with a little percolating. Geez, this marriage thing is hard.

And my other favorite strategies won’t work, either. I can be hyper-logical and organized, I can list pros and cons all day, and it still won’t help me get to the heart of the matter. Everything ultimately boils down to my choice. My messy, scary, no-safety-net choice.

If I love him . . . will I wind up hurt one day?

I hate how vague and painful everything feels. I’m so used to cold, hard numbers, to having something objective to grasp onto, to letting facts and figures and statistics point me toward the right answer, or at least help guide me part of the way. Now, I’m all on my own.

Well, actually, I’m not. I have a partner in all of this. Which is part of the problem, but also part of the solution.

Complete forgiveness is one thing; I still don’t know if I’m ready for that. But right this moment, all I really need is closure. I need some sense of where we’re headed, because I can’t stand living in this awkward limbo any longer. I can’t go about my daily life, trying not to look at or touch the man whose workplace I share all day and whose bed I share all night. Sleeping curled up tight, facing opposite directions, the few feet between us feeling like a frigid mile.

We can’t keep drifting through this uncomfortable space, peering nervously over the edge of the rift between us, waiting for something to either drag us away or tip us into the abyss. We need to take a step under our own power. We need to hash things out and make a well-considered decision that we can stick to.

As for what that decision might be . . .

I don’t want to end our relationship. The only alternative is to continue it, and that will take a leap of faith. Would it really be the end of the world if I gave Justin another chance?

I almost have to smile. Yet another trial period—our relationship seems to have a pattern going here. Although this one might be the most important of all. Can Justin transition from my crush to my frenemy to my happily-ever-after?

No, I’m getting ahead of myself. All I know for sure is that we need to have a long conversation tonight.

I turn my car toward home, intent on doing just that. But part of me still hopes that maybe, just maybe . . . some things really are that simple. Or at least, simpler than they’ve seemed lately.

Chapter Ten

Justin

Selena’s been under an enormous amount of stress lately, even more so than normal. In addition to running a business, and tiptoeing around our fragile, still-healing relationship, she’s been faced with her father’s fading health.

For a long time, we’ve all pretended he could plug on forever. But the truth is, he’s not fine. His prognosis is grim, and it’s possible he won’t leave the hospital this time. I wish more than anything that I could fix this, that I could steal Selena away and shield her from all the pain to come.

Between us, we’ve already lost three parents; this shouldn’t be new territory. But the thing is, you never get used to it. You can never truly prepare your heart for that empty space that will ache without any cure.

I sigh and rise from the couch. Selena will be home soon, and I plan to have dinner waiting for her. If there’s even a small way I can improve her day, of course I’m going to do it.

I sauté tomatoes and garlic with white wine and have a pot of linguine boiling away when I hear the door open.

“Hello?” Selena calls.

“In the kitchen.” I finish slicing a loaf of crusty bread and turn off the burners just as Selena enters the room.

She offers me a sad smile. I know that visiting her dad takes a toll on her. In that moment, I decide she won’t go see him again without me by her side. Even though she’s never admitted it, maybe being alone at the hospital isn’t so good for her. I should be there when she needs someone to lean on, someone to vent to.

Her feet are bare, which means she’s a good seven inches shorter than me, and I pull her in close for a hug. After living together for the past couple of months, I’ve learned that she always immediately deposits those torture devices she calls shoes by the front door, to be carried lovingly to her closet later. She looks great in heels, but I make a mental note to give her a foot massage later.

Selena rests her head against my chest. “I was thinking . . . we should talk.”

I nod. “Yes, but first, carbs.”

She chuckles. “You know me too well.”

Selena grabs plates and napkins and sets the table while I drain the pasta and toss it in the homemade sauce, adding plenty of grated parmesan cheese.

We enjoy dinner with a glass each of chilled white wine on the couch, while the TV plays softly in the background. It feels so domestic and normal.

After we finish up, I watch Selena carry the plates to the kitchen. She’s tossed her hair up into a messy bun atop her head, and though she’s still in her work clothes—a sleek black pencil skirt and cream-colored silk blouse with little buttons at the neckline—she looks casual and relaxed.

As I watch her pour us each another glass of wine, two things hit me simultaneously—I’m in love with her, and I can’t continue like this. I can’t have her in bits and pieces, groveling for her attention, living and working beside her like I’m unaffected, and then fucking her in a frenzy when she deems it okay. I don’t want her scraps; I want her everything.

When she sits back down beside me, I’m prepared to lay it all out on the line. To tell her that we’ve reached the end of the road, and it’s time for her to decide—all or nothing, winner take all. But Selena beats me to the punch.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us lately,” she says, her voice unsure. She swallows and sets her wineglass down on the coffee table beside mine.

“And what have you been thinking?” I turn toward her on the sofa, encouraging her to continue.

“I can’t do this anymore.” She shakes her head as if she’s clearing an unpleasant thought.

My stomach drops. Like I’m free-falling, plummeting toward disaster with no way to stop it.

“I hate not knowing where we stand, what might happen next.” She twists her hands in her lap, looking uncomfortable.

“And what do you want to happen next?” I almost hold my breath as I wait for her answer.

“I just want . . . things to be better. Like they were before. I . . . I was falling in love with you, Justin,” she stammers.

Love. My heart leaps. Not so long ago, it was a four-letter word that would have sent me running. But here and now, falling from Selena’s perfect lips . . . I’ve never heard a sweeter sound. I want to seize her in my arms, kiss her hard, pleasure her right here on the sofa. Show her just how badly I’ve missed her.

But I tamp down my excitement and force myself to tread carefully. We’re not out of the woods quite yet.

I interlace our fingers and tug her closer. “Then don’t stop.”

Selena’s gaze lifts to mine. “I’m scared.”

“I am too,” I admit. We both understand that whatever happens next, we’re in this together. And it will be with two hearts fully on the line, instead of just our jobs. That seems so much more fragile and real that I imagined it would.

“What does this mean?” she asks.

I pull her even closer, so she’s practically in my lap. Stroking her cheek with my fingertips, I press a soft, chaste kiss to her mouth. “It means that we’re in this together, for real this time, as husband and wife. No do-overs, no matter what. I don’t care what happens to the company . . . all I want is you. I want your days and your nights and everything in between. I can’t bear the thought of not having you. I want to be the man to hold you through all of life’s ups and downs.”

And there will be plenty, make no mistake. We’ve weathered a lot of storms together already, but we’re both mature enough to know we’re probably not through the worst of it yet. But that’s exactly why I want to be her safe and steady place.

A sad smile forms on her lips. “I want that too.”

“And I’m so fucking sorry about not telling you about the heir clause. I swear I never—”

She holds up her hand, waving off my umpteenth apology. “I know, Justin. Please don’t. We don’t need to rehash it. If we do this, if we move forward, I want you to know I promise not to bring up your mistakes and hold them over your head.”

I nod. “Thank you. That’s more than I deserve.” And just one more reason why she’s the perfect woman, though I don’t like that she said the word if. For me, there are no ifs. I’m already too deep in love to hold anything back. She cradles my heart in her hands, and all I can do is wait for her decision.

“But this baby business . . .” She chews on her lower lip, her eyes searching mine. “A baby is something we’ll have to talk about. It’s something that won’t come until later. Much later . . . if at all. I’m still processing that.”

My heart jumps into my throat. The thought of Selena round with my child makes me feel almost dizzy. Knowing that there’s a possibility down the road, that it’s a choice we might make together . . . that’s everything to me.

“That’s fine,” I say, trying to keep cool. “I just want us to be a couple. It’s all I’ve ever wanted—a real shot with you. I know we entered into this marriage under unusual circumstances, but to me, it’s not a fake marriage. It never was.” I lean in and give her another kiss, tender and soft.

“What are you saying?” She pulls back to gaze at me quizzically.

I shrug. “When Sterling expected me to be freaked out about getting hitched, I wasn’t. And when everyone thought I’d get cold feet, I didn’t. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. The one girl who seemed to be immune to my charms, the one person who could keep me on my toes, debating with me for hours. The most beautiful woman who I always desired, yet never got a shot with. You’re mine now, and now that I’ve got you, I won’t mess this up. I promise you.”

“Justin . . .” She makes a soft sound of approval.

“From now on, everything is going to be fifty-fifty. I promise to communicate with you openly and honestly. I promise to include you, no matter how unpleasant the situation. We’re partners in crime. Till the end. Please, you can’t go. I love you.”

She chews on her lip, keeping me in agony. Then she smiles. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you too.”

My lips crash down onto hers. I’m so full of every emotion all at once—love, lust, happiness—I feel like I could burst. I lift her from the couch and carry her to our bedroom.

The room we’ve shared in stony silence for the past three weeks is silent no more, because the moment Selena’s placed in the center of the bed, I pull her skirt and panties down in one quick tug, and a surprised gasp pushes past her lips. Next comes her shirt, followed by her lacy bra.

“Hey there, tiger.” She grins at me with a hunger that makes my cock twitch. “Let’s even things up.”

I strip my shirt off over my head while Selena’s deft fingers go to work on my belt. And then I’m lying beside my wife, her warm skin on mine, her kisses on my throat, and everything is right with the world.

We kiss for a long time. I feel like I can’t get enough of her, enough of her honeysuckle scent, her soft breathy moans. But the need to be closer to her—to be inside her, to possess her—wins out.

“Need to make love to you,” I murmur against her lips. It’s the first time I’ve spoken those words to a woman. Make love. But, I realize, that’s exactly what this is.

“Yes,” she whispers.

Reaching over toward the nightstand, I grab a condom from the drawer. Then, upon further consideration, I go back and grab a second one and toss them on the bed beside us.

Selena chuckles. “Someone’s ambitious tonight.”

Damn straight I am. I’ve waited too long to have her. If I’ve done my job properly, she’ll be sore and tired come morning.

I rip open the package but Selena takes over the task of sheathing me, her hands gentle and much softer than mine would have been. My need to be closer to her overtakes every other instinct, as if this union is more significant than all the other times she’s given herself to me combined.

Our previous intimate encounters were all born out of deceit. Yes, she was willing, but tonight she’s committed. She’s given me her heart, forgiven all my transgressions, and the desire to show her just what that means to me is an unmistakable need. She’s not my girlfriend or fake fiancée or the other half of my arranged marriage. She’s my wife. And I have a feeling that getting her to understand that fact is going to take more work, but in this moment, all I’m interested in is making her feel good.

I pull Selena up so she’s straddling my hips. And then I guide her up, aligning myself with her. When she sinks down, it’s heaven. Heaven. Her head drops back and she releases a slow, low moan.

“Forever.” I groan, gripping her hips tight as I control our pace. Nice and slow, so I can savor every breath, every moan, every squeeze of her inner muscles.

“Justin,” she whispers, placing her hands on my abs as she urges me to pick up the pace. “Faster. More.”

“Give it to me.” I thrust up, claiming her.

“It’s yours.” She presses back down on me, so deep.

My chest fills with love for this amazing woman, and I’m overcome by emotion. Burying myself in her over and over again affirms everything that is right about our union.

“Mine,” I growl out.

“Always.” She sobs, already breathless from pleasure.

Always.

Chapter Eleven

Selena

“In summation, it would be in the best financial interests of the board to retain Tate & Cane Enterprises,” I finish breathlessly, glancing at Justin. “How was that?”

“Great. I think we’ve got this.” He gives me a weary smile. “Like I said after our last two practice runs.”

I chew my lip, which I’ve already bitten raw over the course of the night. “Should we rehearse one more time? I don’t know if my delivery is as convincing as it could be. And maybe I should make those extra slides I was talking about earlier. Our argument could always stand to be stronger—”

Justin reaches out to squeeze my shoulder, both to interrupt me and to reassure me. “Snowflake. Calm down. Our presentation is fine. And it’s one in the morning—I’m exhausted and I’m sure you are too. At this point, getting a good night’s sleep will do more to help our argument than a hundred graphs.”

“Okay, okay.” I sigh in defeat. Just the mention of the word sleep triggers a yawn.

“See? Let me take you to bed.”

My lips quirk and I raise my eyebrow at him slightly. “What’s with that tone? I thought you wanted sleep.”

He smiles back. “Don’t worry; I do. Sex can wait until tomorrow night, after we’ve kicked ass with our presentation and saved the world.”

Another yawn interrupts my chuckle as Justin leads me to bed.

• • •

That night, still laughing in triumph, we pile through our penthouse’s front door like a couple of college kids who just graduated.

“We did it! We saved our whole fucking company!” I whoop aloud, kicking off my heels. Even after all our hard work, I can still barely believe we convinced the board to let Tate & Cane live. Although the unfulfilled heir clause lost us our shares, we still have our jobs as the head of the company. We can still live our legacy, and really that’s all we ever wanted.

“Damn right we did. We were unstoppable in there.” Justin lifts me by the waist and spins me around the entry hall, making me squeal in surprise and delight. “And it was your brilliant party idea that saved our asses, Snowflake.”

“Don’t even try to act so modest. I couldn’t have managed that horrible mountain of work without you.” I playfully slap at his shoulders—the only part of him I can reach in this position. “Now, put me down so you can pour us some drinks.”

“Another great idea. I’ll crack open a nice cold bottle of champagne.” Justin sets me back on my feet, shucks his suit jacket, and tosses it over the back of a chair.

“You already have one chilled?” I ask, following him into the kitchen.

“Last night I figured if we won, we’d want to celebrate, and if we lost, we’d want to drown our sorrows.”

“What a vote of confidence. You should have told me that you were sure we’d win.”

He shrugs, giving me a crooked smile. “Yeah, but we did win, right?”

I take two flutes down from the cupboard while Justin gets the champagne from the fridge and uncorks it. There’s something magical about the sound of a champagne bottle popping—it feels like a mini celebration in and of itself. Justin pours both our flutes full to the brim.

“To success in business, to victories hard won . . . and to unstoppable couples,” he says, raising his glass into the air.

“To all that stuff.” I pick up my flute, clink it against his, and take a long sip, relishing the sweet bubbles bursting over my tongue.

“Now, where’s my congratulatory kiss?”

Rolling my eyes, I lean in and give him a peck on the lips. He lets out a low murmur of appreciation and tries to pull me in closer, but I draw back.

“That was it?” he protests.

“Let me at least get through a single glass of champagne first. I’m not done savoring our triumph yet.”

When we polish off our first glasses, Justin pours us both another round. “What should we toast to this time?”

“Hmm,” I say thoughtfully. “You covered a lot in our first toast. How about . . . to marrying well?”

Justin blinks at me, then nods, a grin slowly spreading over his face. “I like that one.”

I clink glasses with a smile of my own. I guess I surprised him. But he, and all the joy he brings me, surprised me first.

Justin ends his drink by heaving a satisfied sigh. “This is great.”

I nod emphatically. “I know. God, it feels so amazing not to have the board’s decision hanging over our head anymore.”

“Well, that too.” He beams at me. “But I was also talking about spending time at home with you. I can’t think of the last time we just hung out and had fun like this.”

Our separation wasn’t only because we’ve been so busy with work. I also wasn’t sure quite where we stood, and struggled to get my footing under me with this relationship. But all that pain is in the past—we talked over our feelings, we said all the things we needed to say, and now we’re trying to leave the whole ugly episode behind us.

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