#essek having his worldview shattered every time by his connection to the nein. seeing how far people can go for love
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Thinking about both keyleth and essek saying "it's not fair" in the face of death
#smthsmth long lifespan powerful individuals being powerless#having fought so hard and technically winning but still losing#and also. the differences#it being Personal and Knowing you would eventually outlive everyone you love but with this one person it's even sooner and a certainty#and loving nonetheless and thinking you had more time and facing those consequences#vs being a person who thought could prevent this who thought they would never have to face smth like this#essek having his worldview shattered every time by his connection to the nein. seeing how far people can go for love#and how the world doesn't care but He Does#somehow he does and not bcs of the person but because of his friends#man#critical role#cr2#cr1#and not even getting into the whole beacons and consecution changing loss and grief as concepts in the dynasty#that man is new to grief#while kiki is permanently grieving
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