#especially when you think of how much of the damage she's done is to herself.

[cressidagrey]

Stars all aligned - Chapter 5

Summary:

If there was one thing that both Azriel and Zahra Archeron had in common, it was that they were both very good at blending into the background.

They just never thought that their family were going to be the ones who never saw them at all.

Warning:

I'll keep the warnings, even though there is no outright mention in this part: Bashing of like...every IC member? Especially the Archeron Sisters, discussion of chronic pain, discussion of Infertility, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Underage Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please, take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

(Lovely dividers thanks to @sweetmelodygraphics)

The silence in the room was so oppressive Zahra could almost feel it pressing down on her skin, crushing the very air from her lungs.

All she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat, thumping in her chest with a steady, pounding rhythm. She could feel Azriel’s gaze on her, but she didn’t dare to look at him.

Zahra wouldn’t be able to bear seeing the pity in his eyes.

And she knew it would be there. 

Her hands were so tightly clenched in the sheets that her muscles ached. Her eyes were still squeezed closed, trying to keep in the tears.

Gods, she couldn’t cry.  Not in front of him. She’d already bared enough of her soul to the male. He knew far more about her than anyone else in the world. 

And that realisation was terrifying.

She hadn’t wanted anybody to know. She hadn’t wanted anybody ever to find out. 

It would have been her secret to take to the grave with herself. 

Nobody would have needed to know, right? 

Not even her mate. She would have gladly kept it a secret from him too. Would have gladly never told the male fate had in store for her, how broken exactly she was. How…destroyed she was. 

Zahra swallowed, feeling the warm and large hand around her own. He was too gentle with her, too careful to touch her.

She didn’t deserve that gentleness. Didn’t deserve it when she was the one that had been damaged and broken and used. “Zahra,” Azriel whispered, his voice deep and quiet. “Please look at me.”

And so she did look at him, even when she didn’t want to…looked at this man that she loved…the tears that filled them pooling but not falling. She looked at him, meeting his gaze, and her heart ached at the sight of him.

His lips were set in a grim line, a frown creasing his forehead. His eyes traced across her face, scanning every little part of her. She didn’t want him to look at her. Didn’t want him to see…her like that.  Didn’t want him to see the ugly and jagged edges that stuck out like spikes… The shadows swirled and curled over his body in an almost protective barrier.

And still…he was so gentle…so kind. 

“You’ve survived so much,” Azriel said quietly. “So much pain and horror. And you…you don’t deserve any of this. You didn’t deserve what happened to you, none of it. He hurt you, and you were hurt for years.” His voice cracked, and he swallowed heavily.

A tear finally escaped from her eye, trickling down towards her temple and into her hair. 

Years. 

She had lost count of how often it had happened. She didn’t want to know an exact number either. She didn’t even want to think about what he had done to her. 

She didn’t want to remember. 

Azriel seemed to sense that. 

“Do you want a bath?” Azriel asked her, still holding her hands. “Wash off the blood? The shadows can help you.”

She took an uneven breath, her eyes still locked on his face. Zahra hated how gentle he was being, how careful and soft and concerned for her he was. She didn’t deserve either his care or his concern. 

She…she shouldn’t…

She didn’t deserve that. Didn’t deserve that kindness and that gentleness.

Still, she nodded. 

Bath. Clean. As clean as she could get anyway…

His hands, warm and large, reached out to her. And when he scooped her up like she weighed nothing…she was too tired and pained to protest. 

It still ached…deep within her. 

And she hated it. 

Zahra rested her head against his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him. She felt the shadows whisper soft touch against her skin, as Azriel carried her into the bathroom, the bathtub already filling…he lowered her into it, hot water lapping at her skin.

She slumped against the side of the bathtub, letting her eyes flutter closed. The hot water felt strangely soothing against the pain and ache of her body.

“The shadows are here if you need anything,” Azriel said softly. “If you need anything, just tell them. I’ll put clean sheets on the bed.”

She couldn’t help but cringe at the thought of him dealing with her bloody linens. 

“You don’t need to do that,” she protested. He didn’t need to… her sheets were drenched with her blood. 

He stilled, and Zahra could almost hear the frown creasing his forehead.

“I am not about to leave you here to change them yourself,” Azriel said drily. “I can just about manage to put fresh sheets on a bed.”

“They are drenched in blood,” she replied weakly. He knelt down beside the tub, and she opened her eyes to look at him.

“I have dealt with blood my whole life. It doesn’t matter,” he promised her.

Yeah, but that hadn’t been…that had been blood spilt from a wound and not…

His mouth was set in a grim line, anger simmering in those dark eyes, as he saw the shame on her face. “Don’t,” he said sternly. “Don’t you dare think for even a minute that I find you…repulsive or tainted, because of this, or because of what happened to you and what you’ve had to do. You’re not. ”

She swallowed, still able to hear the undercurrent of anger in his voice. It wasn’t anger directed at her, but it was anger all the same.

Every thought and emotion Zahra was feeling was swirling in a confusing, chaotic torrent in her mind. She was so tired, but her brain would not be silent. And it kept going over the same thing, over and over.

“But I am,” she said hoarsely. “I am tainted.”

His eyes darkened at that, and he clenched his jaw. The shadows around them grew even darker, swirling agitatedly in the air.

“You aren’t,” he disagreed firmly. “The things that have happened to you…gods above, they should never have happened. But they didn’t taint you. ”

“Of course they did,” she snapped. It was like all the anger and pain and bitter resentment that she’d smothered away and locked deep in her chest was bubbling up, escaping past her attempts to keep it hidden. “Of course, they did! If you know what he did to me, you wouldn’t even be able to look at me!”

He took it. All the rage that she was throwing in front of his feet because she needed throw it at somebody… he didn’t flinch. He didn’t back down. 

He weathered it. He reached out…one of those horribly scarred hands cupped her cheeks instead. 

“I would,” he disagreed with her. “I refuse to let you think that whatever happened has somehow lessened you in my eyes, that it somehow makes you unworthy or tainted.”

She couldn’t stop the new trickle of tears that escaped from her eyes, the pain in her heart and her body too damn overwhelming.

“How?” She asked hoarsely. “How can you say that?!”

These hazel green eyes met her own. 

“Because I care about you, Zahra, and I can’t stand you thinking that this….this horrible, vile thing has changed anything,” Azriel promised her fiercely. “And because…because you are my mate. And nothing will ever change that. ” 

No. No, this wasn’t… he couldn’t be her mate. He couldn’t be…He…

He was too good for her. Too kind. Too…too gentle. 

This perfect, scarred, beautiful male. One of the fiercest warriors in the Night Court. The Shadowsinger. Her mate.

How could he even entertain that thought. 

He wiped away the tears that trickled down her cheeks, endlessly gentle as tears ran down her face. “You’re stuck with me,” Azriel said hoarsely. And I don’t care what you’ve had to do or what you had to sacrifice. This will not change what you mean to me.”

Her chest was aching so painfully she could hardly breathe, and it was like her heart was breaking itself apart with grief and shame.

He said he didn’t care what she’d had to do. But he hadn’t let her speak of the worst of it. He didn’t know, he didn’t know.

“You might change your mind when you know everything I’ve done,” Zahra whispered.

His hand paused, the scarred palm cupping the side of her face. “No,” Azriel said firmly. “I won’t. And don’t think that I can’t guess half of what you had to do. I know that you had to endure far, far more than anyone should ever have to, but it changes nothing between us,” he promised her.  

“Take that bath,” he said softly. “You don’t need to decide anything. Not right now. I’ll change the sheets and then you can go to sleep. And we’ll talk whenever you are ready.”

Her eyes were burning again and her heart twisted, but she nodded. She wanted to protest and argue and insist that she was alright, but he wouldn’t listen to her anyway.

“Fine,” she whispered. “Alright, I’ll—alright.”

Everything hurt. Her body ached as it had after the worst of it, ached and hurt.

She scrubbed at her skin until it was red and raw, as though she could wash away the memories and the pain and the shame.

But despite the hot water, it felt as though she was freezing, and the memories kept floating into her mind.

She could hear Azriel move in the other room, heard the steps he knew were only audible because he wanted them to be.

It was comforting, hearing those footsteps. Hearing him move around just beyond the door, so close and safe and near to her.

Zahra almost told him to come back, just so she could see him and be with him for a few more moments. But she didn’t. It wasn’t fair to him to be around her while she was like this, not when he deserved so much better than her.

She floated away into the numbness, her eyes closing. She felt the shadows jostle her gently, but she didn’t even react. They had never hurt her before. 

Why should she flinch away from them. 

“Sunshine.” Her eyes only opened weakly. Azriel was back. “Let’s get you into bed.”

Her limbs felt strangely and eerily disconnected from her body, even as Azriel’s hands moved her out of the tub, as the shadows wrapped her into a towel…even as they helped her into a fresh nightgown, letting them move her like some kind of strange lifeless doll. 

Azriel scooped her up into those strong arms, holding her against his broad chest. 

She thought that she should protest. That she should struggle and fight and insist he put her down. But when she was held so close to him, all she wanted was to rest her head against his shoulder...all she wanted was to nuzzle into the warmth of him. 

He laid her gently down on the mattress. The sheets were clean and fresh, smelling of crisp soap, and her bed was soft and warm beneath her.

He went to move away and leave her, but before he could, she reached out and fisted her hand in his shirt.

She forced her eyes open, forced herself to look at him…and then she felt it.

The unfurling of something inside her chest. Something warm and safe and secure.

The bond. The Mating Bond.

Even as the realisation sank in, the link between them flared with that feeling. Warmth and safety and a fierce, possessive protectiveness that she had never felt before.

Azriel’s eyes widened, and she could see the realization dawn in his expression.

He’d felt it too. Felt the bond snap into place between them like a line of rope, tying them together in a way they could never untangle.

“Stay.“

He blinked, his eyes flickering over her face.

And then, without a word, he climbed into the bed.

He laid down next to her, and he pulled her gently against him. His arm wrapped around her waist, one wing came down to cocoon her and she felt more comfortable and safe than she ever had before.

“Rest,” Azriel said again. “Just sleep. It’s alright.”

She shut her eyes, letting the tiredness crash down over her. She breathed in the scent of him, of that cedar forest scent mixed with rain and mist.

He was safe, and she was protected. And for the first time in years, she allowed herself to relax into the touch and comfort.

And for the first time in a long time, her sleep was dreamless. 

***

Zahra was sleeping. Her face was still pale...but she had curled up against his side, and her breathing was even and deep...

She was his mate. His mate.

He had waited 500 years for her. And now he had found her, in Zahra.

In his friend. Because that's what they had become. Friends.

Though he had been a horrible friend for not even realising even a smidgen of what had gone on.

Part of him felt like he should get up and walk away. Let her sleep and not disturb her rest.

But the other, louder part of him that was utterly possessive and protective of her wouldn’t let him even think about it.

He wanted to hold her. Wanted to wrap his arms around her and keep her safe. The urge to protect and comfort and have her as close as possible was overwhelming.

As was the urge to slaughter that human man who had dared to lay a hand on his mate. We’ll kill him, his shadows hissed. Slowly. Hurt him until he begs for mercy.

His shadows had always been somewhat possessive of him. Over the years they’d even become somewhat protective towards the other members of the inner circle... but never had Azriel ever seen them react with this kind of anger.

This wasn't anger. This was fury.

It hadn’t even crossed his mind that the shadows would be upset by what had happened to Zahra. But they were.

The thought of hurting the man wasn’t even a consideration. Azriel would gladly tear the human limb from limb for what he’d done.

He couldn't help but snarl silently, as he remembered everything she had told him.

His hands clenched unconsciously, his arms tightening around her body in a protective vice. She was his mate, and he would do anything to keep her safe now.

Azriel had never had this desperate protectiveness before. It was the bond, he told himself. His mate instinct taking over his brain, making him want to guard and defend and keep her.

Ours, his shadows hissed. Ours, ours, ours.

She was his mate. And no one was ever going to touch her again. No one was ever going to hurt her. Not physically, or emotionally.

He and his shadows would keep her safe. They’d keep her with them, safe and secure and loved for the rest of her life.

No one would ever hurt her again. Ever.

Not that human male. Not any fae. He would lay waste to the entirety of Prythian to make sure that Zahra would be safe.

Every single instinct was screaming at him to keep her here. To keep her close, where she was safe and protected and no one could harm her.

She was his mate. A part of him. The thought of her being in danger, of being hurt, made him feel sick to the stomach.

He would burn Prythian to the ground if it meant keeping her safe. He would start a war, he would do anything.

And he counted their family into this equation as well. Before some of the treatment that Zahra had received from her sisters had upset Azriel, had felt unfair. Now...now he was so fucking furious that he didn't trust himself not to rip out Nesta's throat the next time he saw her.

He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this angry with his family. He might have felt hurt or annoyed, or even frustrated....but he had swallowed it all down. Hadn't wanted to have that argument...hadn't wanted....But now...

Now though... now it was anger and fury and a vicious protectiveness.

The thought of how they’d all treated her before—how they’d laughed or joked or been rude or simply ignored her—made his blood boil.

How dare they treat her like that? She was his mate.

His own family had done this to her. His own family, her own sisters, had treated her so cruelly for all this time. And they hadn't known what Zahra had sacrificed for their survival...didn't know what she went through on a daily basis as a result of it.

Either she was treated like she didn't matter or like she didn't exist. Ignoring her and berating her in equal measures.

His jaw hurt, his teeth gritted together as he thought about the way they’d treated her.

Zahra had put up with it. She’d taken it all, silently. And that only made him angrier. Because she’d allowed them to treat her like she was a burden like she was nothing. She’d never complained or spoken about it, even once. Like she didn’t deserve anything else. Like she wasn’t worth more.

They would not do that anymore. Ever.

Azriel was done.

No one was ever going to treat her like that again. 

Even the thought of it made his jaw hurt. He’d never felt this furious before. The thought of what they’d done to her…his own family…

He’d thought they would do better. Thought that the inner circle were all…better than that. Thought that they wouldn't be so heartless. But they’d ignored Zahra, over and over again.

His shadows hissed, writhing angrily around him, and he had to bite back the urge to snarl.

Because he himself hadn't been better either until it had been nearly too late.

He had been so blind. So utterly useless, not to have seen how she had been suffering and struggling...

Not to have realised that he’d been missing out on a beautiful, kind, intelligent female. Just because he’d been so absorbed in his own pity party.

He should have done better.

He would do better now.

He’d never make this mistake again. Not when it came to his mate.

He didn’t deserve her. He knew that much. But he would spend the rest of their goddamn lives together until he made up for how he’d been so blind.

He deserved nothing. He deserved to have his head on a spike for being so stupid.

But he would spend the rest of their days paying this debt.

He would keep her safe.

He would never allow her to feel small or insignificant again.

He would make damn sure of that.

He tightened his grip around her. She was curled against his side, her head laid against his chest. She was safe. She was safe.

His arm was wrapped around her protectively, and he thought, for the first time, that he understood how Rhys felt about Feyre. Understood that desperate, possessive, protective urge.

She was his. And he would not allow a single person to hurt her ever again.

Not even himself.

He would take care of her.

He would do anything to keep her safe. To keep her healthy and happy and loved.

She was his mate.

He reached out for that mental tether that Rhys kept for him and yanked at it sharply.

The reply came just as quickly.

What is it?

Rhys’s mind voice echoed into his head.

I need to talk to you, Azriel replied, as Zahra shifted a little against his side, her arm moving across his chest. Now.

It's the middle of the night, Rhys said drily. If you are having one of your temper tantrums, can it wait until tomorrow?

Azriel wanted to bristle. He didn't.

I met my mate, he cut off Rhys. I figured you would like to know that. I’ll take the rest of the week off. You’ll have my reports on your desk come tomorrow.

The mental silence on the other end of the mental link was enough to tell him that Rhys had been shocked.

Your mate, Rhys’ mind voice finally echoed. You’ve found your mate?

Yes, Azriel replied, as Zahra shifted a little again, her arm rubbing over his chest.

There was a pause, and he could practically see the disbelief and surprise on his brother’s face.

Who is it?

Good Night, Rhysand, he shot back.

And he cut the link between their minds before Rhys had a chance to protest.

[fanfictionismyaddiction]

Under Fire

word count: 1.1k

Pairing: Toto Wolff x reader, ft. Jack

Summary: When Y/n L/n, Jack Wolff's beloved teacher, falls for Toto Wolff, their secret relationship is exposed to the world, igniting a media scandal that threatens to destroy their love and reputations.

______________________________________________________________

Y/n L/n had always been careful to maintain her privacy, especially as Jack Wolff's teacher. She kept her life in order, professional in every sense, and ensured that boundaries were respected. But everything changed when she met Toto Wolff at the first parent-teacher conference. He had walked into the room, tall, powerful, and commanding, and from that moment, everything began to shift.

It was supposed to be simple—discuss Jack’s progress, talk about his studies, and work to help him thrive. But with each passing week, the conversations between her and Toto lingered long after the school bell rang. First, there were shared smiles, then subtle compliments, until finally, their professional relationship evolved into something far more personal.

Toto had been honest with her from the beginning: he and Susie had divorced amicably years ago. There was no drama, no lingering bitterness between them, but that didn't stop the public from creating their own narratives. And as much as Y/n tried to keep her distance from Toto, the connection between them was undeniable.

One evening, after a long day at school, Y/n found herself at Toto’s penthouse in Monaco. It had become their sanctuary—hidden away from the prying eyes of the media. The city’s lights glittered across the water, and inside, the warmth of their shared moments felt intimate and safe. She sat on the couch, wearing a silk dress that clung to her curves. Toto sat beside her, his hand resting on her leg, the gentle pressure of his fingers sending sparks through her.

“Y/n,” he said softly, his voice thick with concern. “We can’t keep hiding like this.”

She sighed, her heart heavy with the reality of their situation. “I know, Toto. But the moment we go public, everything will change. You know what they’ll say.”

“They’re already talking,” he replied, running a hand through his dark hair. “The whispers are growing louder. It’s better if we control the narrative.”

Y/n bit her lip, knowing he was right. But the thought of being exposed to the world terrified her. She had always been private, especially in her role as Jack’s teacher. The idea of being dragged through the media was overwhelming, but hiding had become suffocating.

“It’s not just about us,” she said quietly. “Jack’s involved. His friends at school… they’ll hear things. He’ll be caught in the middle of all this.”

Toto leaned in closer, his dark eyes locking with hers. “Jack will understand. He loves you. He’ll know that what we have isn’t wrong.”

Y/n closed her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m not sure the world will see it that way.”

But that night, they made a decision. The next morning, they would stop hiding, and the world would know the truth. What Y/n didn’t expect was just how fast the backlash would come.

The following day, Y/n’s phone exploded with notifications. It was just after 8 AM when the tabloids published the story—photos of her and Toto walking into his penthouse, the headline bold and brutal:

“Toto Wolff’s New Flame: School Teacher Sparks Romance Scandal After Divorce From Susie Wolff!”

Y/n felt sick to her stomach as she scrolled through the articles. The vitriol pouring in from social media was immediate and vicious.

“She’s just a cheap rebound for Toto. Susie deserved better!”

“Some teacher she is—sleeping with a student’s father. How low can you go?”

“This girl thinks she can replace Susie Wolff? She’ll never be her!”

The comments felt like knives stabbing at her, each one more cruel than the last. Y/n’s hands trembled as she set her phone down, trying to block out the words. But they had already done their damage.

She tried to shake it off, telling herself that people didn’t know the real story—that Toto and Susie had been divorced long before she came into his life. But that didn’t seem to matter to the public. They wanted scandal, and she was the perfect target.

At school, things weren’t any easier. Parents whispered as she walked by, their gazes full of judgment. Y/n could feel their eyes on her, their silent accusations making her stomach twist. Even her colleagues, who had once been friendly, now kept their distance, unsure of how to navigate the media frenzy that had erupted around her.

And then there was Jack. Sweet, innocent Jack. The child who adored her, who looked up to her like a second mother. He had started calling her "Y/n/n" in the past few months, a term of affection that made her heart swell. But now, Y/n feared what this scandal would do to him.

One afternoon, after class, Jack stayed behind, as he often did, waiting for Toto to pick him up. But today, his usual cheerful demeanor was absent. He looked up at Y/n, his small face full of confusion.

“Y/n/n,” he asked, his voice soft, “why are people saying mean things about you and Daddy?”

Y/n’s heart sank. She knelt down beside him, her voice gentle. “Sometimes, Jack, people say things that aren’t true. They don’t understand what’s really happening, and they can be hurtful.”

Jack’s eyes filled with concern. “But you and Daddy are happy, right?”

Y/n nodded, forcing a smile. “Yes, sweetheart. We’re happy.”

Just then, Toto walked into the classroom, his face tense. He gave Y/n a knowing look, one that told her he had seen the headlines, read the comments, and was just as furious as she was.

He crouched down beside Jack, placing a protective hand on his son’s shoulder. “Everything’s okay, buddy. Don’t listen to what other people say.”

Jack nodded, but Y/n could tell the boy was still troubled by the whispers he’d overheard.

That evening, as they sat in Toto’s penthouse once again, Y/n could feel the weight of the scandal pressing down on them. The backlash was relentless, and the haters seemed determined to tear her down.

But as Toto wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, Y/n knew that they had something real. It didn’t matter what the world thought of her or how many people spewed their hate. In the end, it was her and Toto against the world.

“They’ll never stop, will they?” Y/n whispered, her voice shaky.

Toto kissed the top of her head, his voice firm. “Let them talk. I don’t care. You’re the one I love, Y/n, and that’s all that matters.”

Y/n leaned into him, finding comfort in his words, knowing that despite the storm of haters outside, what they had was worth fighting for. But deep down, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this scandal was just the beginning of a much larger battle.

[consoledacup]

Ode to the Street Scene

I really thought my favorite scene was the wedding dance. It cuts away to no one in the room, and my heart just swells from the romance. And that cheek caress at the end? Butterflies!

But every time I rewatch, I have to pause the show and just sit with certain beats of my actual favorite scene because I'm so overcome. The writing is so fantastically good. Verica's directing is perfect. The scoring is angsty and beautiful. And Luke and Nicola deliver incredible performances. The give-and-take of this fight is exceptional, and their chemistry is electric.

This confrontation is one that is years in the making. And as they fight, they address all of it. He's only known about her Whistledown identity for a short time, so this fight was always going to be incredibly heightened and passionate. But we also get so much truth in this exchange, too.

Colin's leaving the saddest stag party ever. I'm sure he also felt weirdly guilty for not being ecstatic about it. Especially because the three gentlemen with him witnessed Colin-heart eyes-Bridgerton not a week ago. So they notice something is wrong, and he really doesn't want to talk about it.

Penelope's leaving her good friend and business confidant. And I love the little hesitation Genevieve has before asking Penelope if she'd continue publishing. She adores Penelope and has been such a fantastic support for her. So although Penelope feels like she's unworthy of Colin after everything that has happened, Genevieve is steadfast in encouraging her to not give up a huge part of herself.

So they run into each other, and Colin is immediately furious. He is shocked to see her, his Pen, out alone at night. And then he's like, well, she's Whistledown. She was doing this all along, right under my nose, having a laugh. And Penelope can probably smell the alcohol on him and is fed up with being the bad guy at this point. So she bates him because good grief, can he just look at her??

And he immediately lays into her. I really love Luke's rhythmic delivery here:

After all of the secrets you have kept, all of the things you have written over the years, all of the damage you have done.

And I love how Penelope immediately takes responsibility and apologizes. Two people have found out about her identity prior to Colin. Genevieve needs no explanation for why Penelope did what she did. And Eloise is so heartbroken and betrayed and humiliated, she has no room for Penelope's motivations.

But as angry as Colin is, he listens. And they go through her past transgressions, point by point. He asks about Eloise, as the protective brother he is, and receives a somewhat satisfactory response.

And then he asks about Marina, and Penelope is essentially like, I was saving you. For White Knight Colin Bridgerton, that is almost too much for him to take. If we go back to that scene when Penelope tells Colin about George, she purposely leaves out her pregnancy. That was deliberate. She might've gotten dismissed by him and interrupted by Marina, but she was always going to lead with, "well, she has a lover back home." Because she was terrified Colin would mount his white horse and see it as his duty to rescue Marina all the same. As a 17-year-old girl, who had incredible power, she saw no choice but to manipulate his future. That was a bad move, and she knows it.

Which is why he's like, do you really have that little respect for me? Because he reveals what cuts him the most. Whistledown called him out, belittling him. And then he finds out that the most important person in his life, his entire world, wrote that about him. And is that truly how she feels about him when he thinks she hung the moon and stars?

And that's when this fight takes a turn as Penelope lays bare everything she loves about him. She was like, I missed you just like you missed me. Here's where I praise Nicola's rhythmic delivery:

It's you. Kind, feeling, occasionally excitable good-hearted man who I love.

Even the way she says "man who I love" is just so matter-of-fact. Of course she loves him. When is he gonna get that?

Every episode this season, we see Penelope subtly gain more and more confidence. Which is why this payoff is so delicious because she has finally developed the confidence, that he helped her find, to stand up to him.

So he takes that all in, and in an almost hopeful way, he's like, well, I helped you gain confidence, and you have me now, so you really don't need Whistledown, right? You don't need to be more powerful than me. And she's a little taken aback by his plea but stands her ground, patiently explaining why Whistledown is important. Which breaks his heart because he feels that, deep down, Penelope surpasses him in talent and ambition.

Remember their engagement party when Penelope and Eloise take turns answering the riddles? He is proud of Penelope, and he is concerned something is going on with her, but he is also, plainly, jealous. Anthony obviously steals the scene with his competitiveness, but you see Colin sitting up a little straighter, wanting to impress everyone else with his quick wit. And each time Penelope or Eloise get the answer right, he deflates a little. He's always known Penelope to be incredibly smart, but now that he's desperately in love with her, he is terrified that she doesn't see him as her intellectual equal. And his fears are confirmed when he finds out she's the sharpest tongue in the ton.

He's honest about how patronized he feels, thinking about her hyping up his journal. His eyes are welling up because good god, he does not understand why she just won't choose him over Whistledown. And he chooses that moment to assert his physical dominance and join her on the step so he towers over her. He goes for broke, berating her for her carelessness, and she's not having it.

And this interplay between Luke and Nicola is like a perfect volley:

I have been careful.

You have been foolish.

Colin, I can take care of myself.

Then what good am I to you?!

And Penelope just snaps. She tells him she loves him which snaps him out of his spiral, and they finally allow their passion for each other to take over. And their physicality shows how relieved they feel in each others' embrace. Their kiss is like coming home, and they're like, thank GOD you want me like I still want you.

They're not thinking much else, but I do wonder if Colin in the back of his mind is like, she may not need my brain or my protection, and I have no title, and I can only provide her a townhome, but by god, I can give her pleasure. I think it says something that Colin's go-to move is his hands. He wants to bring her to ecstasy as expediently as possible, finding his own pleasure in hers.

Thankfully, they are interrupted because they really don't need another scandal. They were debauching each other in the street! That is an absolutely wild thing for them to do, and Colin has enough wherewithal to keep her shielded, quickly falling into his coveted protector role.

He holds her hand and walks her to her carriage. Their goodbye is tense, but he assures her that she doesn't have to worry about him. He will be at the church on time. He is still choosing a life with her, and is, of sound mind and body, intentionally entering into a union with Lady Whistledown. And then he watches her carriage leave.

Perfect, heartbreaking, passionate, angsty, emotional, sexy, honest, cathartic, electric, romantic scene from start to finish.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: I thought I wasn't going to have strong opinions about the Laios-Shuro fight, but...

Laios was right about this! Yes, they had 2 physical fights first, but it's important to note that Laios was right about this!

.

^ -man who would literally kill to stay in this room and observe this private conversation.

.

Sir, your unfaltering little wide-eyed, amiable smile while seriously considering topics that are obviously un-smile-worth has charmed me utterly. I wish to study you like an climate-entomologist yearns for the butterfly that causes storms.

.

She seems fine.

.

If I start screencapping Laios's and Marcille's faces in this fight, I will never stop because literally every panel is devasting.

.

Kuro has done distinctly the most damage so far this fight, just stabbing and gnawing, and I think we should recognize and appreciate that fact.

.

I really miss the animation we got of Rin's lightning blast slicing narrowly past Laios.

I love how fast, if reluctantly, Laios accepts that if - not, that Falin is a true "monster", inhuman and hurting people relentlessly and unapologetically, and thus she needs to be killed before she kills them, like any other monster. I also love that Marcille doesn't accept this. Characters!

.

+1 to qualification to kingship! Kabru is one again surprised (you can tell by how he's not smiling) (though this might also be due to the significant injuries he just took).

I do have several emotions about how Falin immediately yanks away and kills Kabru, without touching Laios. That's her brother!!

.

I really like this little cluster because it says to me that Shuro still has very good "do what Marcille says when she abruptly shouts magic-related directions in combat" instincts. He's a mirror of the "You're already on the Christmas card, buddy" meme - more like, "You're still on the Christmas card." Just like Namari: no one really stops being fond of, and battle companions with, these weirdos.

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I think the most painful part of this probably is that Marcille isn't certain. Maybe this IS her fault. At minimum, she knows she might have mixed the dragon's soul into Falin's, which enabled this even if it didn't create it. But she can't 100% rule out the possibility that it's more her fault than that - which is, of course, the absolute worst thing to say to all of these people looking at her violently askance for using dark magic.

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yeahhhhhh "Lunatic Magician" REALLY lacks the oomph of "Mad Mage"

ANGRY LAIOS! It's such a rare expression on him, it's exciting to see.

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Yesss look at my man Chilchuck use available tools in his environment and save this little goober who thinks it's cool to resent adults.

I really like how they show the social consequences of dark magic. Much beyond Shuro's anger: the other mages are now shutting Marcille down, especially where resurrection magic is concerned. She's made herself untrusted by her peers, whether or not the magic she used on Falin is truly "evil."

.

I really enjoy the, like, narratively obligatory, not actually real (well, maybe to Rin) "will they-won't they" between Kabru and Rin. In the story that this isn't, where Kabru is the protagonist with his quirky gang of found family who are helping him save the island and prevent another bloodbath like in his angsty backstory, she IS the One (Human) Female on the Team who is obviously his love interest - often the first to challenge him, battle mage rather than healer ie a Strong Female Character who nonetheless doesn't use unfeminine brute force, forced by happenstance to kiss...

Alas! Kabru is not the protagonist of this story, so Rin shall remain disappointed.

Also this montage of people healing and reuniting while in the background Laios and Shuro whale on each other remains SO funny. Flawless comedic timing.

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Alright, hot take time: I feel like all the debate I've seen about the Shuro/Laios fight depict it as revealing the friendship basically shattered, and never real in the first place. Whereas I'm mostly warmed by how real it clearly was despite everything that just happened?

Shuro is operating on no food and less sleep, desperate to save the woman he idolizes without truly understanding her loves, who is now apparently a monster who nearly slaughtered his most loyal followers. In the past like 2 weeks, Laios has: watched his sister die to save his life (his little sister, whom he is supposed to protect), walked headfirst into a nigh-unwinnable fight to get her back, held her skull in his hands, got her back and held her in his arms, lost her again about 6 hours later in an even more unwinnable fight, which was proven even more unwinnable when the Mage twisted the dungeon itself against them, saw her again but as a murderous monster now (which might be due to the magic he agreed to use to resurrect her), swiftly and sternly resigned himself to fighting and potentially killing her (his little sister! whom he is supposed to protect!), had her recognize him (and no one else!) despite her monstrosity, watched her be killed (again!) in part thanks to him distracting her, except it didn't work and then she fled.

This is an immature, ignoring-immediate-needs (ie, food, healing) knock-down drag-out fight between two men at the absolute ends of their ropes, who, sure, have built-up resentments against each other and the world, and an inciting incident pushing them over the edge - but mostly neither of them can punch in the face the fact that they can't save Falin. So they punch each other instead.

I won't even address the prologue to the fight, where Laios tells him about the black magic and Shuro promptly tries to strangle him then levels a sword at him. Kabru already nailed that: Shuro was worried about Falin - that the magic had hurt her, that the social consequences would be worse. Laios knew this enough that he didn't fight back, then. But now?

The first shove is Shuro demanding, Don't you fucking DARE give me false hope.

I cannot emphasize enough how hard I would also slap someone for suggesting that I wasn't taking the death and monsterization of my younger sibling seriously.

Shuro knows it, too. He doesn't respond to this, he just punches, and Laios punches back. Shuro doesn't speak again until Laios knocks him all the way down, and

Shuro is at his absolute depth. The lowest point he (feels that he) can go. He cannot save Falin. He's shamed himself as a leader and heir by getting his people killed (they got better, but that's beside the point.) He's been beaten in hand-to-hand combat by this idiot northern peasant. He lets down his guard and pride enough to mutter this self-deprecation aloud...and the idiot northern peasant hears, compounding every shame - and it's infuriating especially because he doesn't even hear properly, just like he never hears properly - he's so frustrating in his friendly but oblivious constant irritation and THIS, Shuro can still be furious about, to avoid his grief/hopelessness/self-loathing/shame. This, he can still fight about!

So he does.

They're both wrong in this fight. They're both right. Laios was consistently inconsiderate; knowing this about himself - because it's not like by his early 20s he didn't know that he didn't Get people the way most people Get people - he should've made more of an effort, and picked up any of the hints Shuro was laying down. Shuro was too caught up in his own pride and out-of-place manners: when it was clear that Laios wasn't going to pick up on even the strongest "hint", he should've said something plainly instead of just letting his resentment build until he was effectively lying to Laios about, if not their entire friendship, certainly the shape of it.

But they were friends. They are friends. This isn't the posture or conversation of two guys who don't like each other.

It's two guys who are still, in fact, fucking exhausted, physically and emotionally - but they just got rid of a lot of extra, furious, helpless energy, so they're finally satisfied to just sit. Their posture is relaxed and casual; their conversation straightforward and companionable, if serious.

This is two guys who've sat like this many time at a campfire, in just these poses. Who've kept watch together late at night and stayed awake by talking.

Laios cares about Falin more than anyone in the world, and even after the words and blows they just exchanged, he's still willing to put Shuro's suit to her. Shuro didn't tell Falin he was interested in her until he proposed to her, but he's telling it all to Laios. Admittedly, this is because Laios is, Shuro assumes, the closest he'll ever get to being able to tell it all to Falin...but still. And he admits vulnerability, which he clearly wouldn't have done before, even to his most loyal and loved companions as they urged him to eat and sleep.

Yeah, they're buddies. If I had to describe it, I'd say: their relationship was built on unsteady, false foundations, but they built something sturdy on it anyway, and the sturdy thing survives even when the foundations shake and re-settle.

Lol at Shuro. "I'm going to report you to the local authorities for your crimes because it's the right thing to do. But if you survive, I'll totally use my power and influence to help you flee the country, and live peacefully on my estate beyond where an extradition treaty can reach you."

[isak-dot-gov]

Growing Stronger (Lie to Girls Pt. 2)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Singer!reader

Word count: 1065

Part 1

My masterlist :)

...........................................

The flight back to Storrs felt like an eternity, the hours dragging on as you replayed your last conversation with Paige in your mind. The promotional tour for your album, Short n' Sweet, had been a whirlwind of interviews, performances, and long hours. You were exhausted but relieved to be heading back home, even if it meant facing Paige after everything that had happened.

As you stepped off the plane and made your way through the terminal, you couldn’t shake the mix of excitement and apprehension. You had missed Storrs, and you had missed Paige, but you were also anxious about how to navigate the conversations and emotions that lay ahead.

When you arrived at your apartment, you saw Paige standing outside, her posture rigid with nervousness. Her eyes met yours, and for a moment, the world seemed to slow down. Her expression was a blend of hope and trepidation, and you could see the strain in her features.

“Hey,” you said, your voice soft as you approached her.

“Hey,” Paige responded, her voice wavering slightly. “Can we talk?”

You nodded, feeling the familiar pang of anxiety as you unlocked the door and led her inside. The apartment was quiet, the usual hustle and bustle replaced by an eerie calm. You set down your bag and motioned for Paige to sit on the couch.

“Let’s talk,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

Paige sat down, her eyes scanning the room before finally settling on you. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” she began, her voice trembling. “About everything that’s happened and about the lies I’ve told.”

You took a seat beside her, your heart racing. “And what have you come up with?”

“I’ve come to realise how much I’ve hurt you,” Paige said, her eyes filling with tears. “Listening to your album—especially ‘Lie to Girls’—made me understand just how deep my mistakes went. I’ve been lying to you, and it was wrong.”

The room was filled with a heavy silence as Paige’s words hung in the air. You could feel the raw emotion in her voice, and it was clear she was deeply affected by your music. The pain in her eyes mirrored the hurt you had felt.

“I know I can’t undo the damage I’ve done,” Paige continued, her voice cracking. “But I want to make things right. I want to prove to you that I’m committed to being honest and transparent from now on.”

You took a deep breath, trying to process her words. “It’s going to take time, Paige. Trust isn’t something that just comes back overnight.”

“I understand,” Paige said earnestly. “I’m willing to put in the effort. I’ve been working on how I communicate, how I handle things. I want us to be able to talk through our issues, not just avoid them.”

You looked at her, seeing the sincerity in her eyes. “How do you plan to show me that you’re committed to changing?”

Paige reached into her bag and pulled out a small, velvet-lined box. She opened it to reveal a delicate silver bracelet with a heart-shaped charm. “I wanted to give you this,” she said, her voice soft. “As a symbol of my commitment to making things right and to remind you of how much you mean to me.”

You took the bracelet, your eyes welling up with tears. It was beautiful, a simple yet meaningful gesture. “Thank you,” you said, your voice choked with emotion. “It’s really thoughtful.”

Paige smiled, relief evident on her face. “I want to do more than just give you gifts. I want to show you through my actions that I’m serious about making changes.”

The conversation shifted to more personal matters as you both began to open up about your feelings and experiences. Paige talked about her struggles with honesty and how she had been working on improving her communication skills. She mentioned seeking advice from her teammates and even talking to a counsellor to better understand herself and her behaviour.

As the evening wore on, you found yourselves reminiscing about the good times you had shared. You talked about your favourite memories, your plans for the future, and how you could rebuild your relationship. Paige listened intently, her eyes never leaving yours, as if she were drinking in every word.

“I’ve missed you,” Paige said softly, reaching out to hold your hand. “I’ve missed us. And I want to make sure that we don’t just get back to where we were but that we grow stronger from this.”

You squeezed her hand, feeling a mixture of hope and uncertainty. “I’ve missed you too, Paige. It’s going to be a journey, but I’m willing to take it with you.”

Paige nodded, her eyes filled with determination. “Thank you for giving me this chance. I won’t let you down.”

As the night grew late, you both decided to watch a movie, something lighthearted to take your minds off the heavy conversation. Paige made popcorn and settled on the couch beside you, her presence comforting and familiar.

The movie played in the background, but your thoughts kept drifting back to the song, “Lie to Girls.” The lyrics had been a mirror reflecting the truth of your situation, and it had been painful to confront. But it had also been a catalyst for change, a way for Paige to see the reality of her actions and work toward making amends.

After the movie, Paige walked you to your bedroom. “I know you’re tired,” she said, her voice gentle. “But if you want to talk more or if you need anything, I’m here.”

You nodded, feeling a sense of calm as you prepared for bed. “Thank you, Paige. I appreciate everything you’re doing.”

As you lay in bed, you felt a renewed sense of hope. It was clear that Paige was committed to making things right, and you were ready to see where this new path would lead. The road to rebuilding trust would be challenging, but with open communication and mutual effort, you believed it was possible to create something stronger and more enduring.

You closed your eyes, thinking about the future and the possibilities that lay ahead. You had faced a difficult period, but with Paige by your side, you felt a glimmer of optimism. The journey would be long, but it was one you were willing to take together.

................................................

[charmtale]

Shameful secrets cause a person to become haunted. She cannot sleep, for a shaming secret is like a cruel barbed wire that catches her across the gut as she tries to run free.

(Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves)

the fact that no one* knew about akio's abuse of anthy is far from the only thing wrong with it, but the inherent shameful secrecy of it was an integral part of her abuse, something that significantly served to isolate anthy from her peers.

it was definitely akio's plan for utena to see anthy and akio at the end of ep. 36. (anthy's hands disappear into her hair = she had no hand in this. + the way the scene lights up like how lights come on at the beginning of a new scene in a play (anthy's previously black silhouette gaining color and features) = it was staged. not to mention her bleak expression) akio thought that utena would just be disgusted by her, and/or feel betrayed, and that would be that. however, he sealed his fate (anthy being able to ditch him) with this action, because utena offered anthy compassion and understanding instead of condemning her.

utena acknowledging anthy's pain as a result of being abused by akio touched anthy more than any of utena's other actions up to that point. while utena says a lot of stuff in that scene about utena's ego and being a prince, anthy only has visible reactions to two of utena's lines until utena is completely done speaking.

"And the night I learned about you and Akio...!"

the camera focuses completely on anthy, nothing else shown, as anthy slightly tilts her head up. there is no dialogue while anthy makes this small movement; anthy is listening intently for what utena will say next, and the show wants us to notice that.

"I thought that you had betrayed me. Even though you were suffering so much...!"

when utena talks about suffering- acknowledging that akio's treatment of anthy caused anthy pain- anthy uncurls her body significantly. a visual indicator of feeling less shame, immediately in that moment.

anthy does not move in reaction to anything else utena says until utena is fully done speaking, when anthy and utena are now shown kinda-holding eachother. utena may or may not know the full impact of her words, but it is clear to the viewers what moved anthy to say:

"It doesn't matter now. Just leave this school. Forget about everything that happened here!"

in anthy's opinion, this has to be the kindest, most honest thing she can say in this moment. utena leaving would ruin akio's plan and anthy would be the obvious reason why (likely leading to punishment), not to mention how anthy would obviously miss utena. the fact anthy said it anyway shows how impactful utena's statement was

it's good to talk about utena's obsessive girlprincing and how it was damaging. it's good that utena acknowledges it herself. but i think the fandom commonly overestimates how much that mattered to anthy, especially in relation to this scene. i feel that people sometimes abbreviate it as 'utena apologized to anthy for her egotistical behavior, and that brought them closer together!' like yes, she did and that was positive and indicative of utena maturing. but i do not think that was the most important aspect here

[sebscore]

hello! i’m the one who asked for fluff with rbr seb, i meant a one shot if that’s okay with you :)

i’m going to use 🌑

DRINK WATER, NOT ALCOHOL | SEB V.

pairing: rbr!sebastian vettel x fem!reader

warnings: drunk seb. swearing.

author's note: thank you so much for requesting something for our beautiful princess that was rbr seb! I had fun writing this one so I hope you like how it turned out!! don't be shy and let me know what you think of it! also, if you get the title reference- you’re a legend and you should be my friend! 💞

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''Hey, what are you doing? Hey! Stop it!'' Sebastian drunkenly professed, pushing the unwanted arms away from his chest. ''I have a girlfriend, go away!''

''You're kidding, right?''

''It's not cool, just stop it!'' The Red Bull driver attempted to move away from the undesired touches. The person in front of him didn't seem to understand the man wanted to be left alone in his drunken state.

The countless refills of his beer must have done some serious damage to Sebastian's vision, because there was no reason for him to pry away from the person who found him almost sleeping on his friend's couch.

Sebastian hadn't been able to properly celebrate his second World Championship title with his friends from home. That's why one of his best mates had organized a party at his home to commemorate the driver's title defense.

Everyone was having a great time, especially the man of the hour. Y/N had seen her boyfriend drunk before, but this time it was quite a different sight. So when she saw him stumbling into one of the many rooms, she couldn't help but check up on him.

Upon walking into what seemed a ''man's cave'', she was met with a practically unconscious man, drool coming out the side of his mouth.

Y/N tried moving him into a more comfortable position as he almost fell on the cold floor. However, he protested and started pushing her away, claiming he had a girlfriend.

Sebastian didn't recognize her.

''You have a girlfriend, huh?''

He hummed at her words, a smile finding its way to his face. ''Yeah.''

''Tell me about her.'' Y/N smirked, sitting down on the ground next to him.

An unexpected snort left his mouth. ''Why do you want me to talk about her?'' But before Y/N could answer him, he proceeded. ''She's- she's so fucking hot.'' He grinned, his eyes still closed.

''She's just so- ugh, perfect. We first met when we were like 20 and it was before I was in F1 so she had no fucking idea who I was,'' he chuckled, ''but she smiled at me and I don't know what she thought of me, but I thought she was beautiful. I thought she looked like the most beautiful thing in the world.'' Sebastian smiled, almost in a dreaming state.

''I love her more than anything, I know I should tell her more- she's always there for me. That's why you can't kiss me, okay? It would hurt her and I don't want to do that. I would never want to do that, it would kill me.''

Y/N admiringly watched him, touched by the things he just told her. It was a given that Sebastian loved her, she would be an idiot not to see it. But when he said that it would kill him if he would hurt her, it hit different.

''Can you go find my girlfriend, please? I- I miss her.'' He stuttered out, making a lousy attempt to point at the door.

She tried greatly to not burst out in laughter, finding her boyfriend absolutely adorable. ''Yes, I'll go get her.'' Y/N got up from the floor, grinning to herself. She waited for a good ten seconds by the door before closing it with more force than usual.

The harsh sound made Sebastian flinch and he swiftly sat up, his hand on his chest as if he was clutching a necklace made out of pearls. ''Huh? Wha- what? Y/N? Oh, baby! I missed you so much!'' As soon as she saw him notice her, she quickly made her way over to him again. His arms found their way around her and he peppered kisses all over her face. ''You found me!''

''I did,'' she laughed, ''I'm gonna get you some water, alright? You've had enough drinks for a few weeks.''

Y/N made an advance to leave and get to the kitchen, but Sebastian firmly held her in his embrace. ''No~'' he whined, ''don't go! I don't want you to leave me!"

The woman got up despite his cute whining. ''I'll be back in a minute, loverboy. By the way, I won't give you a kiss until that alcohol-stinking mouth of yours has been washed.'' She ruffled his hair, dodging his last effort to get her to stay.

''Then get me some damn water!"

[hard-core-super-star]

my ears fill with the sound of you kneeling [K.Bishop]

pairing: sub!kate bishop x dom!reader

summary: you and your girlfriend explore a slightly unconventional form of comfort after you catch her slipping into her self-destructive tendencies again.

warnings: smut -> minors and god look away [literally just porn with feelings…like a LOT of feelings; petplay/puppyplay; vibrator use; humping/grinding; finger sucking; a touch of overstimulation; kate exploring her submissive side while R tries to guide her through it]

wordcount: 2.4k

a/n: i was working on a few requests and then i blacked out and wrote this whole thing instead. i'm sorry [but also, you're welcome :)] i have nothing else to say for myself, enjoy. [we'll be back to our regularly scheduled wholesome hailee steinfeld programming next week]

* * * * * * *

“I can explain.”

Those words never mean anything good, especially when they come from the mouth of a certain stubborn archer. A stubborn archer you happen to be very much in love with.

You sigh the second her words reach your ears, making sure to count down from five before turning away from the fridge to face her. You’re not sure what you’re expecting to find but you’re sure expecting it wouldn’t have helped much anyway.

Kate stands in front of you, her face littered with small (badly bandaged) cuts and noticeable bruises forming on her gorgeous face.

The purple suit she wears whenever she goes out on “Avengers business” (as she likes to call it) hides the damage you’re sure has been done to her body. You don’t know whether to yell at her or ask her if she’s okay.

Ultimately, you do neither and instead, walk away before you say something you’ll regret. Just because your girlfriend happens to be a very powerful and stupidly reckless superhero doesn’t mean you have to like it. You’ve learned a lot about the brunette since you started dating her and sometimes that information was more of a curse than a blessing.

“y/n, wait!” She calls out before following after you like a lost puppy. “Just hear me out.”

“Hear you out?” You scoff. “Why? So you can lie to me and tell me you’re totally okay when we both know the truth?”

The lack of response tells you everything you need to know.

She’s slipping again. Letting herself get caught up in fears and doubts that only make her act more reckless than usual. She’s not getting hurt because she’s unskilled or lacks proper training, she’s getting hurt because she wants to. Because she thinks she deserves it.

You hate that you understand where she's coming from. You're not a stranger to self-destructive tendencies but at least yours don't involve getting repeatedly punched in the face.

She follows you all the way into the bedroom and it’s not until you’re both in the safety of those four walls that her hand grips your wrist. You could escape her hold if you wanted to but you’re not angry enough for that. A part of you wishes you were so you didn’t have to look at the pain written all over her face as she turns you around to face her.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“Please,” she says, taking a step closer. “Tell me what I can do to fix this.”

She's practically begging you and despite how badly you want to pretend tonight never happened, you catch a glimpse of the desperate look in her eyes. You don't think you've ever seen it before and yet you know exactly what it means.

Kate's begging for more than just your forgiveness right now.

You know you shouldn’t do it. You should tell her to take a shower and then climb into bed with her and help her recover from her mistakes. But your response slips out before you can stop it.

“Kneel.”

Your breath catches in your throat as she complies immediately with your command. A part of you had been expecting her to do it and yet it stuns you all the same.

You’ve never seen your girlfriend like this. Not only is this the most submissive she's ever been with you, but it’s also the most relaxed you’ve seen her since her destructive cycle started up again.

For the first time in weeks, the weight she carries on her shoulders every day disappears. There’s no shame, no regret, no pain in her eyes. Nothing but pure adoration and submission.

“Please,” she whispers. “I need you.”

Her words should be arousing, and in a weird way they are, but you can’t stop the waves of concern from crashing into you. You can tell she really does need this. Needs to let go of herself and have someone else take the wheel for once. But you’re not sure if that person should be you considering the way you’ve been treating her since she walked through the door.

You open your mouth to tell her that much but she’s quicker than you are. Her hand reaches out for yours and she holds your wrist tightly before bringing it closer to her mouth. You watch with wide eyes, barely able to breathe, as she slowly takes two of your fingers into her eager mouth.

The warm wetness that surrounds your digits is unlike anything you've ever experienced before. The vulnerability turns into intimacy right in front of your eyes and, even though you're nervous as hell about messing this all up for her, you let the moment envelop you until everything else fades away.

You know, deep down, you need this just as much as she does.

When you finally speak again, it's in a tone you've never used before, not with Kate, not with anyone but you seem to hit the nail right on the head considering the reaction you get out of your girlfriend. “Good girl. Is this what you need? To have your pretty mouth filled up and used?”

She whines in response, the sound coming out muffled yet desperate. It’s the closest she can get to confirming your suspicions in this state.

A shiver runs down your spine at the thought of all the things you could do to her. Kate’s always been strong. Resilient in all aspects of her life, and it really would be so easy to push her to her breaking point. But you don’t want to do that. Not tonight. Not when you can see how much she needs to be both comforted and dominated.

You are a little upset with her still though so you decide to meet her halfway.

“Strip.”

You remove your fingers from her mouth once the command is out in the air, ignoring the whimper she lets out at the loss. You pretend to ignore the telltale sound of fabric rustling as she removes her clothes while you walk to the bedside table and take out a familiar wand vibrator.

Your steps are slow and deliberate once you decide to make your way back to her. It’s impossible for your eyes not to trail down her contradiction of a body. She’s full of toned muscles from years of archery and martial arts training and yet there’s an air of softness to her skin.

An air of warmth that seems to radiate from her even now. Even as bruises litter her torso and cuts nip at her soft thighs.

“You look so pretty on your knees for me, baby.”

She shakes her head although a small pink hue spreads along her face at your words. “Not baby.”

“No?” You ask as you come to a stop in front of her, forcing her to tilt her head back to look up at you. “Then what are you?”

A beat of silence passes and you almost expect her to keep her desires to herself…until a single whisper falls from her inviting lips. The sound is so quiet you almost wonder if you imagined it.

“Puppy? Is that what my good girl wants to be for me? A cute little puppy?”

Your hesitation at using the name fades away the second Kate’s eyes light up at the sound of it. You’re not sure how long she’s kept this desire a secret from you but it’s merely another thing to add to the long list of reasons why you love her.

The look on her face is enough of a response but she still uses her words, clearly looking to keep being your good girl. “Yes, please.”

“Such a good puppy.” Your free hand comes down to pet the top of her head. You chuckle to yourself while she whines and presses up against the loving touch. “A little puppy like you needs to be trained. Do you think you can handle that, pup?”

She nods instantly and you know she’s placing all her trust in you. Trust that you’ll take care of her the way she needs right now. That you won’t leave her like so many before you.

“Stay like that, okay?” You reach over to grab a random pillow from the bed and place it between her legs.

Her hips buck forward before you even do anything. You coo at her, placing a quick kiss on the top of her head and positioning the vibrator on top of the pillow. You make her wait a few agonizing seconds before you switch the toy on.

The sound she lets out is more of a whine than a moan but neither of you mind too much. You move the toy around, making sure it’s pressed right against her clit and pretending you don’t notice the speed with which her wetness covers the vibrator.

You step back once you’re satisfied and the pout she gives you might just be the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. “You have to be trained, remember, pup? No touching. If you want to cum, you’ll have to hump that vibe like the needy little puppy you are.”

A part of you thinks she’s going to complain about the rules you’ve set in place but then her face contorts in pleasure and you know her mind is too far gone for her to argue back.

There’s no better feeling for you right now than watching as your girlfriend lets herself go like this. There may be a lot of things the two of you need to talk about later but right now is all about helping her feel good. It’s about providing her with something she’s always wanted but never had.

You’re lost in a world of your own as your eyes hone in on the way she grinds her needy cunt against the toy. You could probably come undone from the mere sight but you’re not thinking about yourself right now.

“How’s that feel, puppy?”

You don’t expect her to be able to form words right now but she surprises you. “Good! Feels, oh- feels so good!”

“I’m glad. You deserve to feel good, pup.”

She half-whimpers, half-moans in response.

It only takes a few more moments for her movements to grow sloppy, a telltale sign that she's close to the edge.

“I’m gonna-” One quick look at your face causes her to change her words. “Please, please can I cum?”

You can’t hold back your smile as she asks for permission. “Yes. Go ahead and cum for me, puppy.”

She doesn’t leave you waiting for long. All it takes is a few more seconds of her humping the vibrator for her to fall apart. Your eyes widen slightly while you take in the enticing sight before you. The way her whines grow louder, the way her whole body trembles and her head flies back in pure ecstasy.

“y/n!” She cries out.

You’re there in an instant.

You’ve missed so many things, messed up even more, but you’re there when she needs you this time. There’s no hesitation in your movements, no other thoughts in your usually crowded mind except being the support beam your girlfriend desperately needs right now.

“It’s alright, you did so good for me.” Your voice is barely above a whisper as your arms wrap around her trembling frame.

She slumps forward into you, incoherent mumbles and soft whimpers leaving her lips. The sight would be heartbreaking if you weren’t acutely aware of the way her hips continue to rock against the vibrator still snugly nestled against her sensitive cunt.

“Katie,” you mumble. “You can stop, darling. You don’t have to keep going.”

Even as the words escape you, you can tell she doesn’t want to stop. She’s sensitive and vulnerable and so, so needy.

“Please…” You can’t see her face but you can feel the desperation in her voice as her breath hits your neck.

You instantly pull her closer to you, whispering soft reassurances as your hand slowly slides down her body, teasing and caressing her overheated and battered skin. Her body trembles against yours and you feel her bury her face into the crook of your neck in search of some stability.

You’re happy to provide it for her, allowing her to hold on tightly to your arms despite the sting her nails leave behind on your skin.

Your fingers finally reach the buzzing toy and you grab onto the handle to lift it up and press it further into her dripping pussy. She reacts immediately, letting out muffled gasps of pleasure as she continues to grind against the overwhelming stimulation you’re providing her with.

“Shh, you’re okay.” You don’t know if your words register in her mind but you keep going anyway. “Such a good puppy letting me play with you like this.”

“Need…please…”

“I know, pup, I know. Just let go. Let me make you feel good.”

She was closer to the edge than you expected because those words are all it takes for her to fall apart again. Her grip on you tightens to the point of being painful but you don't dare move away from her.

You let out a soft sound of your own when you feel her wetness drip down onto the toy in your hand. You're sure your fingers are soaked with her release but you don't focus on anything except your shivering girlfriend.

“Good girl,” you whisper as you turn the vibrator off and move it away from her. “My good little puppy.”

You feel a different type of wetness hit your neck. You're not sure if the tears are from pleasure or pain but you comfort her all the same.

“It's alright, Katie, you're alright.”

The whimper you get in response tugs at your heartstrings enough to get your hand moving. It's a bit awkward considering the position you're both in but you manage to slip your fingers between your neck and her mouth.

It only takes a second for her to register what you're offering her. Her lips part and she takes your fingers into her mouth, moaning at the taste of herself that lingers on your soaked digits.

“Shh, I've got you. You're safe with me.”

You both know your words are true and a sense of calm settles into the air around you.

It's going to take a lot more than this moment of pleasure to help Kate out of the cycle she finds herself in but this is a good first step. And you intend to hold her as tight as this when you finally begin to navigate what comes next.

[pinkthrone445]

-Let it burn to the ground- Part 6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 part 5

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender:love, hurt, confort, funny

Warnings:Mention about past trauma, fires and dead

Summary:Melissa lets the fire of love consume her when she meets the new chief of the fire station.

After the fight, you have to think if everything is worth saving.

You were driving automatically, from the beginning of the day you felt horrible because it had already been 3 years since your husband's death, but now a new weight of pain had been added now that the redhead had treated you like this. You weren't so angry about what she said because you knew she might have a point, you were mad because she choose to say it in the worst day possible in the worst way possible. Instead of choosing a time when the two of you were alone and could talk calmly, she told you at a party full of people, to get your attention she decided to take one of her slobbering exes and on top of it all she wanted to throw the blame for everything on you. If she had said it in a good way at a good time, you would have listened to her, taken into account what she said and tried to change it as soon as possible, and the two of you probably would have gone home together.

Instead, you yelled at her, broke up with her leaving her in the arms of other men and came home as a single woman again.

Your son, smart as he was, didn't say a single word the entire trip, it wasn't until you were curling him up in his bed that he decided to speak

-"Mama... Are you okay?" - Your little one whispered seeing your eyes and you sighed

-"Today is not my best day..."-You answered honestly, you had always tried to instill in him that he did not scrutinize his emotions and that what he felt was valid and nothing better than the example to teach

-"I can see your sad eyes" - He whispered resting his little hand on your cheek, you leaned over him smiling softly-"Why Mel didn't came with us? She always makes you smile" - The little boy spoke and you sighed again

-"She... We... She said something hurtful to me and I needed some time alone, so she went home by herself" - You answered and he pouted a little

-"Can I sleep with you mama? When I'm sad sleeping with you helps" - Your child was trying to help you in the way that worked for him when he was sad

-"Okey my beautiful boy, let's go sleep together" - You whispered lifting him out of bed and carrying him in your arms to your room to sleep together and snuggle like when he was a new born. Even though he was very small compared to you, you felt like his love was protecting you from the sadness.

The next morning you were still hurting just as much, but you had a child and a job and you couldn't stay in bed and cry, so you drew strength from where you didn't have and went to make breakfast. After you ate and everything was ready, you went to take your child to school. At the entrance you managed to spot the redhead receiving the children, so you got out of the car and said goodbye to your son but you didn't approach the entrance, or even look at her. When you made sure your child got in, you got in your car, and drove off, the only time you decided to look at her was in your rearview mirror as you drove away.

The days started to go by, Mel tried to talk to you but you had blocked her, she came to see you at home but you were never there and at work they wouldn't let her go to the office because you had asked that no one bother you.

For your part, every day that passed hurt less and you missed her more, but that didn't take away the damage she had done to you with what she said and how she said it.

A week later, Mother's Day came and you were invited to the school to see the gifts and things the kids had prepared. Before leaving the house you looked at the photos on the wall, especially the ones with your husband and you sighed, sad and at the same time a little relieved to feel how his absence hurt less, it still hurts and forever will, but it was less... Now, though for different reasons, the redhead's absence hurt a little more than his.

When you got home, you entered the school with the visitor's pass you had been given and went to your son's classroom, greeting his teacher Barbara

-"Mama! Look at my drawing!" - Your son took your hand and led you into the hallway to show you the tender drawing he had made of you and him.

-"Thats gorgeous baby! You even draw me with my uniform" - You laughed and he nodded, you knew how much he liked that you were a firefighter

-"And I got you this!" - The little one took out a gift package and gave it to you, you pretended to be surprised to see a decorated mug inside, although a few days ago in the list of supplies you had been asked for a mug and things to decorate it...

-"I love it baby! The heart and the fire you made is perfect! I'll use it for work every morning"-You answered and he hugged you tigly while you pick him up. After thanking Barbara for her efforts and giving her some chocolates for Mother's Day, you headed to the gym to enjoy the food they had ordered for the mothers. While the children were eating and playing, the redhead approached you with a small bouquet of flowers and stood by your side

-"Happy mother's day..."-she whispered, handing you the small bouquet, but you didn't take it

-"Thank you" - was all you answered without taking your eyes from your son

-"Look... I'm so sorry for all I said and how I behaved... I let my insecurities get the worst of me..." - She started talking and you sighed

-"I don't want to talk about that here or now Melissa, I just want to enjoy my mother's day with Chris, that's the only reason I'm here" - You answered seriously and it was her turn to sigh

-"Okey...I really wish you a happy day..."-Mel offered you the flowers once more and finally, for the first time in the night, you decided to look at her. Dark circles under her eyes were marked as if she was not sleeping well and her eyes did not have their characteristic brightness, they were dull and hid a lot of sadness. Carefully you took the flowers and she smiled just sideways looking at you, wishing to tell you a million things now that you were finally close, but choosing to stay quiet because you asked. -"I will go back with Barb..." - She whispered before leaving and you smelled the flowers, not only did they have their normal scent, but her perfume had also stuck to the paper that wrapped them, which made you smile softly without you noticing.

At the end of the little party they had organized, you drove home with your little one and the bouquet of flowers.

While your child was bathing, you opened the paper covering the flowers to place them in water, a small envelope with a letter fell to the floor. Curious and confused, you picked it up and opened it to find the unmistakable handwriting of the redhead

"Hello... I didn't know if you would accept the flowers, but if you're reading this it means that you did and they didn't end up in the dumpster like I thought... I'm so sorry for everything I said and what happened. From the moment I met you I fell in love with you, but the more I knew about your husband and how perfect you were, the more I doubted if I was worthy of having you by my side. He was an excellent dad, a very brave man, an amazing husband and a very good person in general, perfect for you... And I'm nothing like that and, besides, I'm old... I was jealous of him and what an amazing couple you made and I felt stupid for being jealous of someone who had passed away, so I didn't told you anything. Every day that passed, I felt less deserving of you and because I did not to mention my doubts with you, my insecurities came to the surface in the worst way at the worst time.

You don't have an idea of how sorry I am for what I said and for hurting you and for doing so many stupid things. I miss you and Chris so much.

I understand now that I lost you, how much it hurts to lose the love of your live. I'm sorry for invalidate your pain.

I hope you can forgive me one day.

With love M"

You stared at the letter for a few minutes, the truth is that Mel's anger wasn't unjustified, maybe it wasn't well expressed but she was right. You carefully grabbed your phone and unlocked the redhead's number, admiring her profile picture for a few seconds. After a little more consideration, you decided to send her a message

-You: "Thank you for the gorgeous flowers Mel... Do you think we can talk someday about what happened... About us?..."-Once you sent the message, you were left nervously waiting for a response that came almost immediately

-Melissa: "Yes please... Tomorrow after school?"-The redhead replied

-You: "I'll be working... Is there any chance that you can come to the office?" - You answered a little nervous

-Melissa: "I will be there after school"-She replied and you smiled softly

-"You:thank you... I will see you tomorrow, have a good night Mel"-It was the last thing you sent before you went check on your child in the bathroom.

The next day Mel was very exited about seeing you again, even though she might have to face the hurt that she did to you and hear you scream to her, she really missed you and needed to see you again.

For your part, you also wanted to see her to clarify some things, even though you were hurt, you really wanted to try to fix everything. You were aware that there were times when we all say things that hurt and that no relationship is perfect and everything takes work.

Although you and Mel had a desire to talk, fate didn't care. Even if it seemed like it would be a quiet day at your job, a call to the fire station changed everything. Gas pipes in a large building had exploded, not only causing the building to catch fire but also cause it to collapse. Immediately your station had to go to the call for help. While they were riding in the truck, you sent a message to the redhead, because you couldn't call her since she wouldn't be able to hear you for the sirens

-You:"Hi Mel, I know we had plans to talk today, but a complicated call just came in and I don't know at what time we will finish, I'm so sorry. Maybe we can talk tomorrow... Also, can you tell Miss Howard that maybe I will be a little late to pick Chris up, please. Thank you and I'm sorry"-You sent the message a little nervous about the situation

-Mel:"Hi honey, yes, no worries, I'll tell her and we can talk tomorrow. Please be safe" - Mel's answer was short but calmed you down a bit.

By the time you got to the building, everything was more complicated than you expected, so they immediately got to work saving as many people as possible.

Meanwhile at school, Melissa was teaching her classes but she felt watched, and it wasn't because of her students as they were all busy doing their homework. She carefully scanned the entire room, looking for the reason why she felt that way. When her eyes fell on the door, she found the source. Your little boy was watching her hidden behind the frame, and although the redhead could see almost half of the little boy's body, Chris thought it was very well hidden.

-"Chris... Are you okay?" - The redhead asked and got up from the desk and walked over to your son and knelt in front of him

-"No... My head hurts and I wanna go home" - Your son made his best sad little eyes looking at the redhead

-"Did you tell Barbara? Why are you alone in the hallway?" - Mel asked worriedly, frowning

-"I told her I was going to the bathroom... I miss my mom, can you call her please?" - Chris pleaded and Mel picked him up in her arms

-"Your mommy is working saving people... But if you want you can stay with me until your mommy arrives, would you like that?" - She asked and the little one nodded hiding in her neck.

Melissa knew that when Chris missed you or had a rough day he would say he had a headache so they call you to pick him up, but since you were busy, she would take care of him until you arrived. Mel alerted Barbara of the situation and stayed with your little one in her classroom while she teached.

When the fire stopped and people were safe, everyone went back to the station. You immediately tasked one of your lieutenants with reporting the mission, took off your protective clothes, and ran to the car to pick up your son. The mission had gone on much longer than planned and the kids had already left school and you hadn't gone to pick up your little one. While you were driving, you called Barbara and she told you that Mel had stayed at school with him waiting for you.

The school was empty when you arrived, but as you entered the redhead's classroom you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the two of them there. Mel was sitting at her desk and your son was asleep curled up in her arms, with his head on her chest and her coat on his back protecting him from the cold. The woman's desk was filled with toys, books, and an empty food Tupperware, showing you how well the redhead had taken care of him.

-"Hi Mel..."-You whispered without really knowing how to greet her, a hug might be too much for how delicate the situation still was, let alone a kiss, and if you make to much fuss, your son might wake up. So you just got closer to them without touching anything-"Thank you for taking care of him, the call was a mess and was longer than expected, I'm sorry that you had to stay" - You whispered a little embarrassed

-"Hi (Y/N)... Are you kidding? I'm happy that I had to stay with him, we had an amazing time and I missed him so much... And he missed my food too"-She joked and you laughed softly. The redhead carefully got up from her chair to hand Chris over to you softly, not taking off her jacket so that his body wouldn't get cold. Your son frowned when Mel pulled him away from her body, but smiled when he felt you and continued sleeping.

Mel frowned, looking at your face more carefully

-"Yeah, I got a little hurt and I didn't stopped to wash my face, but I'm okay..."-You whispered trying to calm her worry-"Thank you for taking care of him..."-You thanked again as she took her purse and the two of you walked down the hallway-"Did you come in your car?" - You asked as she opened the school door letting you out first

-"It's a pleasure, I love being with him... No, I came with Barbara and she's already gone, I'll ask for a uber to go home" - She responded by taking her cell phone out of her purse

-"I'll drive you home, it's the least I can do..."-You replied and she smiled nodding in gratitude. Once your son was secured in his chair, the two of you climbed up and drove home quietly, it wasn't awkward but there was a bit of tension in the silence. The trip went by too quickly for your liking, and even though you hadn't talked about anything, you realized how much you had missed having her by your side, it hurt you what she said, but it hurt you more no having her close. Mel was about to open the car door to get out but your voice stopped her

-"The new season of Bridgeton is out... Do you want to come home to watch it?" - You asked nervously and she looked at you in surprise

-"I would love to... But are you sure you want this? Having me in your home?" - She replied in a trembling voice

-"I'm sure" - You answered confidently and she took her hand out of the door and put her seat belt back on.

Once you got to your house and put your son to bed, you turned on the TV opening Netflix but Mel called your name from the bathroom, confused you followed her and saw her with a wet towel in her hands and the emergency kit

-"Come... Let me clean your face first, we don't want it to be infected" - The redhead spoke and you sat on the small bench that your son climbed on to brush his teeth, Mel sat on the toilet with the lid closed and began to wipe your face with the damp towel. Her hands were soft and delicate, carefully running the towel over your features, wiping a small cut on your forehead with special care, even though you had your eyes closed, you could feel her watchful gaze on you

-"I'm sorry" - You whispered with your eyes closed, and the redhead's actions stopped

-"For your cuts? I don't like that you are hurt, but I'm glad it was something small and not something more dangerous" - Mel resumed her actions and you took her wrist gently making her stop her movements, slowly you opened your eyes and raised your gaze to look into her eyes

-"I'm sorry for not loving you the way you deserve it... I'm not saying that what you did was okay, but I know that somehow I pushed you to said what you said and in part you were right... I couldn't let him go because he literally saved my life and I felt like I owned something to him, loyalty even if he wasn't here, I was scared of forgetting him or that Chris forget him... I know I will never completely forget him because I see him in the face of my son every day and I know that Chris won't forget him because he loves him and knows the kind of person his father was, but I also know that holding into him won't bring him back and will only take you away from us. You are part of our family now, you are everything that I need, you are here now, you love us, you protect us and you are everything that we were missing... I get now that you are not here to replace him, but you are here to complete us... And I'm sorry for pushing you away"-You whispered, still holding her hand, and Mel smiled, resting her forehead on yours

-"I'm sorry for being an asshole and for being mean, you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry for letting my insecurities get the worst of me... I don't want to lose you both and I don't want you to forget your husband or that Chris forget his father, I just want to have a place here" - Mel pointed to your heart and you barely smiled-"Because you and Chris occupied my whole heart..."-Mel kissed your forehead gently and you hugged her waist resting your head on her chest-"I also love the pictures that you put on the wall where we are all together... We look like a cute family" - Mel whisper against your hair

-"We are a family, you are our family... I really missed you Mel... I love you" - You murmured against her chest

-"I love you honey" - Mel gave you a little kiss and kept holding you tight

[lazyscience]

So for my followers who come with a factory-installed uterus I know you're concerned about your health and autonomy. And you well should be

But here's something all of you should be thinking about and planning for no matter what your plumbing - if Trump goes through with putting RFK Jr. in a position of power as far as the Department of Health and Human Services, he could do a LOT of damage as far as vaccines. Vaccines are not super profitable for pharma companies, despite what cranks think; they take a LOT of development for only a few uses. Vaccines are driven by public health requirements and a lot of places would shrug and say "ok, bet" if there isn't a guaranteed market for them.

The professional medical community will still have recommendations about when and how to vaccinate, but they won't have the force of law, and insurance will probably smell blood in the water and start kicking up a fuss about covering vaccines when they're not required. So then when doctors recommend them there'll be suspicion and pushback that they're just doing it for "kickbacks" even though the only doctor who would have gotten paid for vaccine is ironically Andrew Wakefield, the lying fuckshit, because his whole "vaccines cause autism" lie was to push his OWN, SPECIAL proprietary vaccines that wouldn't cause his made-up syndrome, because NO vaccines were causing it. May he roast somewhere warm when the devil comes for him.

This will not happen immediately, but. Because there will no doubt be anticipatory compliance on the part of drug companies and healthcare systems. I HIGHLY advise you get the fuck out there and get your Tdap updated (tetanus, diptheria and pertussis). Whooping cough is out there, and it is horrible for babies. If you are eligible for shingles vaccine and haven't done it, get that. Get your COVID vax if you haven't, there might not BE another one, at least not that's available in the US.

If you have kids, especially make sure THEY'RE up to date because their classmates might very well not be mandated to get them any more - state regulations will undoubtedly vary, but with the current composition of the Court, it will rule in favor of every possible exemption for antivaxxers as possible because the conservatives are all "fuck the weakest of us, I got mine fuck you." And expect idiocy like "pox parties" to spread (not like the average suburban parent can tell measles from rubella from chicken pox from hand foot and mouth by fuckin' looking at it, who knows what the christ they're going to be passing around). Measles is NOT just a "bit of a rash." Rubella is the world's leading preventable cause of birth defects. Chickenpox can result in scarring, encephalitis causing blindness or even death, and the risk of shingles later in life. I have a cousin who would be 57 this year who died as a toddler from hemophilus influenzae strain B meningitis, one of those "too many" childhood vaccines that were invented in the 1990s. Tell my aunt that's too many vaccines -oh, wait, you can't, she fucking killed herself out of grief her baby died.

tweens? get them the HPV vaccine if they haven't gotten it (given its associations with sex it'll probably be one of the first to go, but it prevents CANCER. who wants their child to get cervical cancer, or penile cancer, or throat cancer, or rectal cancer? IT PREVENTS CANCER. JUST DO IT.)

Similarly, if you have a child with any kind of immune issue that precludes vaccination, I would very much look into homeschooling, because bye-bye herd immunity.

If you have teenage kids, encourage them to update their Tdap and get the meningiococcal meningitis vaccine if they haven't been mandated to already by campus policy. Tetanus and meningitis aren't common, but they are frequently permanently life-altering when they're not fatal. We're talking months in the hospital. I'm old enough that I remember people fucking dying in college, and the panic that went around campus every time one of those breakouts happened in the state wondering if it would make its way to our campus.

Stay safe out there. I have no idea what this will do to our already teetering healthcare system but I don't think it'll be pretty. Everybody pray Trump pulls his usual scam and hangs RFK Jr. out to dry, because while the plutocrats consider regulations an unnecessary burden, they don't have a stake in creating a public health state of emergency when we already have a workforce not keeping up with demand, unlike Captain Convenient Brain Worm.

[archangeldyke-all]

a request for butch tattoo artist sevika pls 🙇🏾‍♀️🙇🏾‍♀️

anon ur a genius!! i hope u like it <3

men and minors dni

in a modern au, i always filp flop on how to incorporate sevika's mechanical arm into her character. sometimes i think she has a prosthetic, but sadly prosthetics today can't move and function as well as her prosthetic in canon, so sometimes i think she just has severe nerve and tissue damage on her arm from a fire.

which is what we're gonna do for tattoo artist sev.

she starts getting into tattoos because of her arm. she struggles with its appearance, so she teaches herself how to do stick and pokes with household objects. she practices on oranges and bananas until she feels comfortable enough with it, then she starts tattooing her arm.

it starts with a few stars on her wrist, a lightening bolt on her pinky.

she likes it.

she likes it so much, that every time she feels especially depressed about her arm (about once a week) she adds a new tattoo. it always manages to cheer her up-- the ability to create something beautiful on something (she considers) mangled.

she starts sketching ideas for new tattoos-- skulls, flowers, various animals.

she starts practicing different fonts too.

eventually, when she's got about a quarter of her arm covered up in simple line art stick and pokes, she gives in and buys herself a tattoo gun.

within a year, she's got a full sleeve-- all done by herself.

her friends start asking her for tattoos, which leads to friends of friends asking for tattoos in exchange for money, which leads to silco finding her and offering her an apprenticeship at his tattoo and piercings shop.

she says yes without hesitation.

it's the first job she's ever had that she actually loves. once she's finished with her apprenticeship, she specializes in tattoos that cover scars-- whether they're from injuries, surgeries, or self harm.

seeing her clients cry in the mirror at the sight of their new art-- something beautiful drawn over a painful memory-- never fails to get her a little misty eyed herself.

she always wears wife-pleasers to show off her ink. even in the winter-- she'll bundle up under sweaters and coats until she gets to the shop where she strips down until her arms are bare.

she's not too fussy about her clothes-- prefers comfort over fashion. cargo pants, jeans, and sweatpants are her go-to's. she keeps her hair slicked back with gel, out of her face and behind her ears.

the first time you meet-- you almost pass out at the sight of her.

you'd come in for a piercing on your nostril. it had gone smoothly, silco instructing you to breathe in, then out as he shoved the needle through your skin. he shoved the stud in, and helped you stand when sevika walked in from her lunch break.

silco helped you sit back down, explaining that sometimes people get shaky from the shock and adrenaline. you nodded along, not wanting to tell him you were actually weak in the knees because of the woman standing before you.

sevika didn't notice you until you were checking out at the front desk. she nearly fucked up her client's leg tattoo she was so busy gawking at you. you caught her staring and smiled shyly, waving at her. she grinned.

sevika's silco's best artist-- which is why he doesn't give her any shit when she puts her gun down and tells her client "one second," before dashing out the store to follow you down the street.

"'scuse me!" she calls out. you whip around, shocked to see the handsome woman jogging after you. "i, um..." she gets choked up standing in front of you, nervous and cursing herself for being crazy enough to chase after a complete stranger.

"i like your tattoos." you say to fill the awkward silence as sevika tries to find her voice. a bashful smile creeps up her lips.

"yeah?"

"yeah." you say. "'specially this one." you say, pointing to the 'DYKE' knuckle tattoos on her left fingers.

sevika sputters and blushes, it takes her a solid minute to reply to you.

"do you... ever think about getting some of your own?" she asks eventually. you raise an eyebrow.

"who says i don't already have some?" you ask. she blinks, her eyes quickly scanning up and down your body like she's trying to figure out where, exactly, you were hiding your ink. she has to clear her throat and shake her head to stop the dirty thoughts from clouding her mind.

"well... if you ever want some more..." she says, nervously scratching the back of her neck. you giggle.

"i dunno. tattoos are pretty expensive, it'll be a while 'til i can save up for another." she deflates in front of you and you grin. "but, you know, dinner for two is much less expensive." you suggest. sevika's jaw drops.

you exchange names and numbers, sevika reluctantly returns to her work, only to be interrupted by a ping on her cellphone twenty minutes later.

sevika opens the message and grins when she sees a message from you. she opens it, and nearly falls out of her rolling stool when she sees a picture of your tits barely concealed by your lacy bra, a tattoo peeking out between them. you'd captioned the message: "sneak peek."

it's then that she realizes that she's found her soulmate.

[steddiealltheway]

Steve tries his hand at writing poetry. Emphasis on try.

It’s not… great. He never was the best writer in high school - just ask Nancy. But really he tries.

Unfortunately, his hobby is discovered by Robin who relentlessly makes fun of him, stealing his little journal away and shouting out some of his lines. Thankfully, the Video Store is empty.

Until Eddie walks in.

Neither Robin or Steve notice him, too busy fighting over the journal with Robin still calls out a few stanzas every so often.

“What’s going on?” Eddie asks, loud enough to get the pair’s attention.

Steve and Robin both look towards him. Steve turns bright red, and Robin races up to Eddie, giddy with excitement yelling, “Steve writes shitty poetry!”

She waves the journal towards Eddie who takes it from her. Steve races up to the counter but noticed that Eddie is already closing it and handing it back to him.

“I have my fair share of shit poetry. I’m sure we all do,” Eddie says casually, trying to brush off Robin’s comment, seeing the slight hurt in Steve’s eyes at the insult.

Steve smiles at him tightly, thanking him with a nod.

Eddie changes the subject.

Over the next few days, Robin, unaware of the damage done, will not stop teasing Steve about the journal. And, of course, she blabs when Nancy comes to the Video Store, unable to stop herself from talking or thinking when she’s around her.

Nancy laughs and comments how she would love to see if he’s improved at all from high school. Joking that maybe Steve can be published in the Hawkins Post.

Steve storms off to the break room, shame and anger taking over his senses. It’s stupid really. They’re just teasing. But Steve was actually excited to fill out this new journal he bought. To have something for himself that wasn’t just sports and babysitting and being known as a dumb asshole in high school.

After a few minutes, the door to the break room opens, and Steve pinches his nose, not in the mood to deal with anymore teasing.

“Hey, you okay?” A voice that is definitely not Robin’s asks.

Steve turns to find Eddie hovering in the middle of the room unfamiliar to him. “When did you get here?” Steve asks.

“A few minutes ago. Robin and Nancy filled me in on… things,” Eddie replies fidgeting with his rings.

Steve nods and sits on the nearest chair, running a hand through his hair. He deeply sighs.

Eddie nods towards the small leather journal Steve left on the counter. “Is this it?” He asks.

“My notebook filled with shit poetry? Yes,” Steve replies, the venom in his tone heavier than he intended.

“May I?” Eddie asks, hand reaching towards it.

Steve nods.

Eddie grabs it and opens it. He flips through a few pages, pausing, squinting, and sometimes zoning out in deep thought. He keeps flipping through pages, reading what seems like every word Steve has written.

Steve can feel the blood rush to his cheeks, embarrassment flooding his veins. Especially when Eddie’s eyebrows furrow while he looks at one page for a few moments too long.

After a while of unbearable silence - except the sharp turning of pages - Eddie says, “It’s not terrible. In fact, it’s actually pretty good.”

Steve scoffs, “Yeah, right.”

Eddie rushes towards Steve and squats in front of him, opening the journal towards the page he was stuck on for so long. “Steve. This right here has so much potential.”

“That right there, is pure shit. You heard Robin and Nancy,”

Eddie runs a hand over his face and admits, “Yes, some of these might be shit poetry. But you know what all of these are?”

Steve ignores the familiar sting of disapproval and deadpans, “What?”

“These are all great song lyrics.”

Steve groans.

“I’m serious!” Eddie says, he starts digging through the drawers in the break room, finally coming across a pencil. “May I?” He asks again gesturing towards the journal.

Steve nods.

Eddie begins scribbling on various pages, crossing out lines, adding to them, writing in the margins, and at one point it even looks like he doodles something. He closes the journal and hands it back to Steve. “Take those as you will, but I really think you’re onto something, Steve. You can always show me anything you write, okay?” Eddie says, resting a hand on Steve’s knee.

Steve grabs Eddie’s hands and squeezes it. “Thank you,” he says sincerely.

Eddie beams at him and stands, pulling Steve up. “Okay, now you have to pick the next movie I get. Robin’s last choice was… not great…” Eddie continues his rant, opening the break room door.

Steve makes eye contact with Robin who gives him an apologetic look, and Steve glances back at Eddie - who is still ranting - knowing he mentioned something to her. Something blooms in his chest, knowing that Eddie understood how he felt before talking to him.

After Eddie leaves, Robin goes on a rambling apology, telling Steve she didn’t actually mean it. Except for a few parts. But then she tries to take that back and fails.

Steve laughs and tells Robin that really it’s okay.

That night, he turns through Eddie’s notes, taking in every word, applying corrections, and writing a few questions and replies to Eddie’s words.

He lands on the last poem he wrote and turns the page which was once blank. Now, there’s a simple heart with the words, “Never change, Steve Harrington,” under it.

Steve stares at the page for a few moments, heart racing. Then, he turns to the blank back section of the notebook and writes a few lines about a boy with curly hair and brown, doe eyes.

[oliversrarebooks]

Jameson's Dress

Masterlist

some of you asked for force-fem Jameson so here ya go

tw: forced feminization, mind control, dehumanization, captivity, restraints, anger issues, human auction

April 1860

The days and nights in captivity had done nothing to quell Jameson's rage. He had nothing to do in this damned cage but stew about every way he'd been wronged, all the bastards who'd swindled him -- especially his rotten partner, who'd stolen the business out from under him before Jameson had had a chance to do the reverse. His impotent anger burned inside of him, and it took all of his restraint to not kick and punch at the iron bars and cement walls. More than once he'd flung his meals at passing vampires, valuing the chance to vent his emotions more than he valued eating. And more than once, he'd been drugged for his troubles, the monsters pinning him to the wall and forcing him to drink a nasty-tasting substance that made his mind slow and his limbs heavy.

The only saving grace was that he'd had plenty of time to think about how he'd all make them pay once he got out of here.

"What do you recommend for lot sixteen?"

"I've conditioned her as a domestic worker, so let's style her accordingly. I don't think she needs much embellishment. Her blood quality and docile nature speak for themselves."

Jameson looked out of his cell to see two vampire women making their way down the hall. One was Colette, the vampire who'd shown up in his office and captured him. The other was an older woman in a suit who carried herself with an air of authority -- Florence. She'd taken Jameson out of his cell the other day, and he'd…

He'd…

His mind swam with the effort of trying to remember what had happened. She must have drugged him again. It was the only explanation. By the time he'd woken up, he was back on his cot in the cell.

The vampires stopped at the cell next to his. "And this one's been erased," said Florence, "so I was planning to --"

Jameson stuck his arm out of the bars and snapped impatiently at them. "Let me out of this cell right now and maybe I won't pull down the full brunt of the law on you!"

That was a lie, of course. As soon as he was free of this place, he was calling the police and every lawyer he knew. Vampires or not, they'd go to prison like anyone else, and judging by their clothes, they had plenty of money that he'd get in damages. He'd turn this sordid situation to his advantage yet.

The two vampires shared a laugh as Jameson's rage threatened to boil over. If he weren't behind these bars, he'd slap the smiles right off their smug faces.

"Lot six," said Colette, approaching his cell. "I don't know why you didn't just have him erased. He's so disagreeable."

"Ah, but sometimes the disagreeable ones fall the hardest," said Florence.

"Do you bubble-headed idiots even know who I am?" he demanded, seething. "I could buy and sell you both a dozen times over, and --"

"Oh, we know exactly who you are," Colette interrupted. "That's why we knew no one would miss you when we took you."

"Besides, you're so much happier as a servile little plaything," said Florence. "Perhaps I can demonstrate for Colette."

"What the hell are you --"

"Just be a good boy for me."

The words hit Jameson like a sack of bricks. His mind reeled, thoughts clouding, as he struggled against the flood of foreign, unnatural calm invading him. "I'm not -- !"

"Good boy. Such a good boy."

His anger evaporated, replaced with a blissful feeling of docility, as his muscles relaxed and his shoulders slumped, eyes losing their focus.

Yes, he wanted to be a good boy.

"That's right," said Miss Florence, smiling, and he wanted nothing more than to please her. "It feels good to let go of all that anger. It feels good to know your place and to serve."

He nodded, slowly. He couldn't remember ever feeling so good. Maybe when he was a young child, before he understood how cruel the world was. "Yes, sir."

"Kneel."

He fell gently to his knees, arms clasped behind him and head bowed. He was a good boy. He wanted to serve.

She snapped her fingers. "Aware."

Jameson's chest clenched as the full force of his ire crashed back into him, bringing along with it a deeply unpleasant sense of humiliation as he realized he was kneeling before the goddamned vampires who were keeping him captive. "What are you doing to me? What --"

"Good boy," she said, and everything melted into submissive bliss as she pet his head. "You're a good boy, aren't you?"

The soft touch felt so nice, something he hadn't felt in so, so long. "I'm a good boy, sir," he said meekly.

Miss Colette's cackles rang off the cement walls. "Oh, now, that is a fun toy. I can see now why you let him be so disagreeable."

"He's much more agreeable now. Aren't you, boy?"

Something in him tugged. He didn't want to be agreeable. Being agreeable was for losers who let themselves be walked over.

But he was a good boy, and good boys were agreeable. Obedient. Docile. "Yes, sir."

Miss Colette took him by the chin, and he looked down deferentially. "It is a treat to see a nasty one like this get all the fight taken out of him."

"It's all the same with these angry men," said Miss Florence. "Their anger makes them so tired and easy to manipulate. All they need is a taste of submission, and they become like putty to mold into a model thrall."

In his daze, Jameson was having a hard time following the vampires' conversation, but it sounded like they were pleased with him.

"I think I'd like to take this thrall and prepare him myself," said Miss Florence. "Could you go prepare lots twelve and thirteen, and ask Frank to round up the erased in the blue room?"

"Yes, I'm on it."

Miss Colette walked away, and Miss Florence pulled a ring of keys from her apron pocket and unlocked Jameson's cell. "Be a good boy," she said, as she wrapped a leather collar around his neck, putting him on a leash. "Heel."

He did as he was told and followed a half-step behind her as they walked past the other cells, up a flight of stairs and into a dressing room, with a rack of ball gowns in one corner and a large vanity covered in cosmetics lining a wall. His compromised mind struggled to recall what this was about. He was at an auction house, he remembered, to be auctioned as a commodity, and he'd been rightfully upset about it, but…

Miss Florence walked him over to the rack of elaborate dresses. "Here you are, boy. You may choose your dress."

Some of his blissful calm evaporated. These were women's dresses -- they weren't something he could wear. This vampire was obviously trying to humiliate him.

"This is what a good boy wears for the auction," she said. "And you're a good boy, aren't you?"

Just like that, his thoughts were gone again. "Yes, sir." He didn't know anything about what sort of dress he should pick, so he simply grasped at one that seemed appealing. It was deep blue, the color of the sky at twilight, with black lace and a ruffled neck.

"Very good," she said, the praise making him swell. "Now we have to prepare you."

He was whisked into a large bathroom with a stainless steel tub, and Florence tsk'd as she looked into it. "Empty," she muttered to herself, pulling a braided cord hanging from the wall. "Now, be a good boy and remove your clothes."

The wave of calm obedience that washed through him removed any resistance he would have to this idea, and he mindlessly took off the shirt, pants, and socks that had been provided by the auction house at his processing. He'd been belligerent then, determined to fight the vampires off with everything he had, only to find himself drugged senseless and dragged into a cell anyway.

This way is so much easier, isn't it, said the echo of Miss Florence's voice in his mind. So much easier to accept and obey. So much more content without the anger in his heart, so much calmer with the fight stolen from him.

A few thralls entered the bathroom carrying basins of water to fill the bathtub, and Florence beckoned him to get in. It was bracingly cold, just as he usually liked his baths, but the shock brought his mind back to the surface for a moment. He was as naked as the day he was born in front of the vampire who'd ensorcelled and humiliated him --

"Quiet and docile for me," she said, scrubbing at him with a rag doused in floral-scented soap, scattering his resistance once more. He certainly didn't mind being washed clean of the accumulated grime of days in a prison cell.

Soon he was toweled off and sat in a chair while the vampire trimmed his hair neatly. It didn't take very much time, because he'd always kept it short and groomed. She shaved him with a straight razor, her practiced hand working swiftly and leaving no marks, as Jameson sat stock still in his hypnotic daze.

The next step was to guide him back into the dressing room and take his measurements with a tape, the vampire's aura sinking into him with every small movement and silently coercing him to be empty and blank. His eyelids drooped as his mind drifted. He should be irritated, a part of him knew, but it was impossible to keep from sinking into tranquility.

The tranquility remained as Florence helped him into women's undergarments, sized appropriately for him, but like nothing he'd ever worn. A part of him was trying to fight to the surface, but it was buried too deep under the compulsion to be quiet, be passive, obey the vampire. Everything was so much easier with his anger muffled, a distant roar.

The dress that he had chosen earlier was slipped over his head. Miss Florence took his hand and led him over to the vanity, where a wealth of frivolous beauty products lay spread out before him. She brushed his freshly trimmed hair and began to apply makeup to his face.

Makeup. He'd look like a clown. He'd look like a clown in front of so many vampires, while he was being sold…

Miss Florence hooked a gold chain around his neck. "You'll be utterly quiet and docile for the auction. Passive and serene. Obedient and gentle."

"Yes… sir…"

Her hands gently touched the side of his thick neck, the place where a vampire might drink. "You're meant for service. You'll be so content in service to your betters, won't you?"

It made sense. There was a natural pecking order to the world. He'd just mistakenly thought he was on top, when really, it had been the vampires all along. "Yes, sir, I'm content to serve."

"You know your place now."

"I know my place, sir."

"It's so much easier than fighting to be something you're not. You're not strong. You're not in control. You're not entitled to anything. You're a weak thing that only desires to serve."

It felt so true. If he were truly strong, like he imagined himself to be, he wouldn't be here. "Yes, sir, I desire to serve."

"Good boy."

She led him over to a mirror, and Jameson could hardly recognize himself, wearing a lacey ballgown and expertly done makeup. A stranger, or perhaps a version of him from a different time, where he was soft and feminine and everything else he hated, and was happier that way.

Miss Florence snapped near his ear. "Aware."

His half-lidded eyes flew open as he beheld what the goddamn vampires had done to him. She'd put him under a spell, forced him to wear this absolutely humiliating outfit, convinced him he was --

"Good boy."

Convinced him he was…

"You feel so much better this way."

He did. It was such an immense relief to sink back into tranquility, to forget what he'd been so angry about, his muscles loose and his mind dazed and sleepy. He meekly submitted to Miss Florence as she snapped a pair of jeweled handcuffs around his wrists, ready to be sold to his new master.

Masterlist

[noforkingclue]

dark request prompt: Aziraphale coddles the reader too much. He is far too permissive of their human. Crowley knows Aziraphale is soft and it hurts him when the reader flinches away from him. After a while it becomes grating. Aziraphale wouldn't harm a hair on her head, if she insists on "crying" maybe he should give her something to cry about. It's rare that Reader and Crowley are alone. Seeing the fear in readers eye's may sadden Angel, but it evokes a different emotion in Crowley.

Note: requests are currently closed

Of course anon! I love writing dark fics, especially for Good Omens and I hope you like this one :D

Title: Compromises

Warnings: dark fic, kidnapping, non con kissing

Crowley’s eyes narrowed as he watched you flinch away from Aziraphale. All the angel had done was make you a soothing cup of tea as per your request. All he wanted in return was a kiss. Something so small and insignificant, really you could’ve given him that.

But Angel was an Angel for a reason.

Aziraphale just closed his eyes and rested his chin on the top of your head. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and gave you a brief squeeze before moving off. He glanced over at Crowley who was lurking between the bookcases. Aziraphale swiftly made his way over to the demon.

“She just needs time,” he whispered, “it’s all still new to her.”

“Time,” sneered Crowley, “how much time have you given her?”

“Patience, dear,” said Aziraphale as he put a hand on Crowley’s shoulder, “it’ll be better when she comes around on her own accord.”

“Maybe if I-”

“No.” Aziraphale’s voice was stern and you looked over at the two of them. Crowley and Aziraphale knew that you couldn’t hear them though.

“I mean,” Aziraphale lowered his voice, “we don’t want to scare her too much.”

“Are you saying that you don’t want her to return your affections?” asked Crowley

“Of course not!” whispered Aziraphale, sounding annoyed, “but sometimes it’s better to wait. She’ll be more grateful to us if we let her come to us by herself. We could do more damage if we’re not careful. No,” his voice said that there was no more room for discussion, “we’ll leave it at this.”

Aziraphale gave Crowley a pointed look and moved back into the main area of the bookshop. Crowley waited until Aziraphale was out of sight before turning his attention back to you. You were sipping on the tea and curled up in a chair, reading the book the Angel had given you. He stalked over to you, keeping to the shadows. You were so unaware of anything around you. Fuck, it was a good thing that he and Angel saved you. It would’ve been terrible if you got taken by someone who didn’t have your best interests at heart.

“Hello,” he said when he was finally behind you, “love.”

You jumped at the sound of Crowley’s voice, hot tea splashing about. With a wave of his hand the tea was back in the cup, the book out of your hands and the cup safely on a coaster. Crowley put his hands on your shoulders, digging his fingers into your soft flesh. You stiffened under his touch and Crowley leant down and inhaled deeply. Fuck, you had just washed your hair and he could still smell the shampoo and conditioner.

“Comfortable?” he asked

“I-”

His grip tightened and you whimpered. A fucking wonderful sound that he couldn’t wait to hear more of. If only Angel was willing to be a bit more forceful.

“Because we could’ve been a lot worse,” Crowley moved around so he was standing in front of you, “comfortable bed, good food, hot tea and all the books you want to read.”

He grasped your chin and tilted your head back so you were looking up at him. He pressed his thumb against your lips but when you didn’t open your mouth he dug his nail in. You let out a hiss and instinctively opened your mouth. He smirked as he pressed his thumb down against your tongue. He leant closer, lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

“We could’ve demanded a lot more from you,” he said quietly, “so maybe you should think about what we’re really asking from you instead of what we could be asking from you. Understand?”

You nodded, eyes wide, as Crowley looked down at you. His gaze sharpened and he smiled and slowly pulled his thumb from your mouth. He closed his eyes at the feeling and said,

“So be a bit more grateful or you’ll learn why I’m a demon.”

He grabbed your hair and pulled your head back. He admired the arch of your neck, looking forward to the future when he and Angel would be able to mark it. Instead he pressed a bruising kiss against your lips. You let out a delicious whimper and your hands flew to his shoulders. He bit your lip gently (at least for now) before breaking the kiss.

“Remember what I said.” he said quietly

He left you, eyes wide and shining with unshed tears as he turned around. He spotted Aziraphale lurking in his old spot and he smirked as he sauntered towards him. Crowley pressed a brief kiss against the corner of the Angel’s mouth and said,

“I’m sure we’ll both find her a lot more willing now.”

[towerofrabble]

ray time ray time ray time I can finally talk about her now that shes on global and people will understand what im talking about. (spoilers for To The Grinning Valley go read it, it's short)

Ray's childhood is pretty messy. She was born to nomadic hunters in Rim BIlliton who stayed self sufficient, she learnt how to hunt from them but she doesn't really remember much of that time. She doesn't really remember much of her childhood at all. From her file 3. "… I don't think her love for animals comes from her childhood environment. I can tell that those memories are very, very far from mind." The only vivid memory she has of her childhood is the time when lots of her family died, only to be saved by what she describes as a "ray of light". Some time afterwards (maybe when she was still a minor (hehe) ) she became a pitsinker. Not because she especially felt like doing it but (from file 1) "Once, long ago, someone told her that she could make a living as a pitsinker, and she's been doing it ever since." She's generally quite directionless, just going along with what shes been doing, because she doesn't have anything else she wants to do. This is even how her codename "Ray" was decided, a worker couldn't spell her name "Rayella" and so it got shortened to Ray and she went with that ever since. Not to say she isn't fond of her name, but its not really something she chose for herself. There's also the loads of trauma shes living with. As mentioned above a bunch of her family died and that's tied to her one significant childhood memory, but there's also the damage being a pitsinker has done to her. Grinning MIneshaft (vignette 5) is gut wrenching. Ray cares a lot about Sandbeasts, and one dying in her arms just adds even more to her trauma around the mines. Additionally even though she says she's used to, it she's very afraid of the dark and she associates that with the mines. The ways she describes it makes it seem terrifying. Talk 3 "Tales of the supernatural, these tapes said. Didn't really like watching them, but I do feel... Chills, from these? No. It's hot in the dark. The deeper down the pit, the hotter, harder to breathe. Always took yonks for the lift to bring us back up. I'd just stare at the lights in the ceiling, waiting." Promotion 2 "Proactive? Is this about me applying to rescue Infected...? Remember when you had me treat my wounds? So I have my cotton wads, and they're getting covered in bloodstains, and dust, and Originium shards, and sandbeast fur, and it struck me then: the pit's behind me, a million miles behind, and it's like I'm still being stabbed. Do you think I'm... still carrying the fear?" Trust 1 "Ninety-seven, ninety-eight… Oh, first time seeing you at the training grounds. You always train at four in the morning too? That's not it? An op said I scared them target practicing here all night…? But the light went kaput in my accommodation. I wanted to be somewhere lit-up." The last one might seem a innocent but she constantly shows that she doesn't like being in the dark. From file 3 "Do you remember? When were getting ready to shut down the generator and turn off the lights, she looked so reluctant." From vignette 5

Feranmut'

Take heart, little one. Do not be so down. If it truly vexes you, perhaps you will feel better if you closed your eyes and took a little nap?

'Feranmut'

Ah, perhaps not, for closing your eyes means being in the dark, and you have a look about you that says that you fear it... Alright, I admit I'm not used to consoling people. The Feranmut she meets can see it in her. This line from file 1 is incredibly sad too "...perhaps she will be stuck with a pitsinker's mindset for a while yet: isolated, always on high alert, always raising her head to gaze up from the bottom of the shaft at the light from the entrance, not knowing whether she's alive or dead until she's hauled back to the surface and leaves the dark behind her." I really wanna give her a hug,, She also doesn't associate with many people. From file 2 "For quite a while after joining Rhodes Island, nobody paid much attention to Ray. There's no shortage of operators who are very welcoming to newcomers, but neither the movie club, the tea club, nor the culinary club ever sent her an invitation. After all, she's never asked for directions, or even stopped to get her bearings on the landship. This made it very hard for anyone to tell that she was indeed a newcomer, even as she was calmly making her fifth loop on the same route." She doesn't talk to people much and usually just keeps to herself, taking care of her sandbeast, or visits Alanna and Warmy. The one scenario she does speak lots is when animals are the topic of conversation. From file 2 "...and eventually reached a confusion as to whether the fowlbeasts that arrived in two different locations were the same species or not. At that point, Ray—who had never spoken a single word to them—slipped into their conversation as though she had known them their whole life and started asking each of the operators where they were from. Upon learning their hometowns, she would explain which species were typical of each region in easy-to-understand terms." This is the main way she makes friends because its basically the only thing she will talk to people about, even her visits with Warmy are her telling Warmy about animals. She also collects animal almanacs which she reads in her free time. I've ranted about Ray now. I love her. Bye.

[bweeeb]

JEALOUS

Part two

Theodore Nott x Y/n Millicent reader

Friends to lovers- ANGST

Summary: The morning after the damage has already been done is always the hardest to fix things between two best friends who feel more than friendship.

The feeling of discomfort was the second worst feeling for Y/n because the first was feeling strange in a place she used to feel good. And Y/n was almost certain that at that moment, the two feelings were very close to each other.

The morning after, the group skipped breakfast and went straight to lunch. One thing everyone at the table could agree on was that the Slytherin elite seemed very uncomfortable. Sitting on the opposite side of the table from Theodore, Y/n's leg bounced up and down. The image of waking up naked in Mattheo's bed, with Theodore coming out of the shower, remained vivid in her mind as a source of discomfort. It felt strange for both of them not to be sitting side by side, especially after a party, a time when they would typically look out for each other.

Y/n felt herself sink into the bench, and her appetite diminished immensely. Thus, she pushed her plate away and stood up, anguished.

— Where are you going? Pansy asked, attracting the attention of all her friends.

— I've lost my appetite.

— But where are you going? Daphne asked with concern, her expression resembling that of a child inquiring about their mother, prompting Y/n to offer a weak smile.

— I have things to study. See you later. Everyone agreed with a deadly silence that embarrassed the group but left the rest of the students curious.

— Is she okay? Draco asked Pansy, who showed him the middle finger and got up angrily.

— This is your fault

— I didn't know that….

Daphne sighed and rested her head on the table, feeling a migraine starting to creep in. In a sudden move, Theodore got up from the table not long after Pansy and left the Great Hall quickly.

— Teddy! Anastasia called out. — Teddy bear! Anastasia, who had risen from the Gryffindor table, called to Theodore. He turned to her, much as Y/n had upon entering the Great Hall.— I missed you... I thought we'd see each other later.

— I don't have time for this, Anastasia. Last night was a mistake. Theo gestured with his hands in front of her face, glancing back where Y/n had left as soon as the nickname he used for her in their third year allowed her to call him.

— Fuck.

— Teddy?

— Don't call me that.

Theodore said rudely, and Anastasia grimaced.

— Who do you think you're talking to?

— Apparently you, but I wish it weren't.

— Excuse me? The girl stopped in front of Nott, and he, impatiently, placed his hands on her shoulders, not caring if he caused a scene. He needed to get to Y/n and make it clear that what he had done was foolish

— Listen to me, I've fucked a lot of people here and you were just another one. It won't happen again because you're the girl who hurt my best friend, so stop. He growled in her face, and the innocent look faded from Anastasia's expression. She stomped away.

— Oh, Theodore, believe me, no one hurt her more than you did. — she rolled her eyes — She was dying for you to fuck her, that's why it was so fun for me. I could see in her eyes how desperate she was, she seemed like a desperate slut. The redhead smiled maliciously and slapped the boy's face. He snorted and left the Great Hall without worrying about the whispers. He needed to apologize to his girl.

Theodore run as fast as he could to catch up with Y/n, who was still walking slowly down the hallway.— Hey! He shouted and saw the girl shake her head.

— What about our Italian lessons ? — Theo sighed, hating that if he allowed it, tears would fall from his eyes, and those tears would make his father call him ridiculous — Dolcezza…

— I think I'm dead, Theodore, I can't. Y/n rolled her eyes as her voice faltered.

— Don't call me, Theodore, mi amore.

— What should I call you, Theodore? Y/n mocked the boy while trying not to cry.

— Y/n… don't be dramatic, mi amore.

— Dramatic? I'm not being dramatic, Theodore. — Y/n turned abruptly to look at the boy not as far away as she had imagined he would be — Then tell me, tell me what I should call you.

— You should call me... Y/n interrupted Theodore before he could finish his sentence and shook her head with the same whispered tone as his.

—No, I shouldn't. She swallowed hard and looked at him with sad eyes. It was almost inevitable for her to wonder if she was being too dramatic, but that thought soon passed when she remembered her psychology lessons emphasizing the need for time to think.

— Go back to the Great Hall. Her anger softened in her voice when she saw him approaching.

— You are mad at me. — I'm fine!

— You can't be mad at me for what you did too! Theodore frowned and shrugged eagerly.

— You slept with the only person who really hurt me, she killed my cat when he was the only thing that calmed me down because I was away from home. My parents didn't see me for four months. FOUR MONTHS because they believed Nino had a communicable disease and he had nothing and you know it because you heard me cry every night without stopping because I was feeling alone. Y/n clenched her jaw and walked towards the Italian with her finger pointed at his face, which was pushed away when he retorted.

— You fucked up with Mattheo, damn it! Y/n mocked Theodore's argument and rolled her eyes as she walked away again while he followed her frantically.

— Go fuck yourself.

— You slept with Mattheo in my bed! You woke up in MY bed with him by your side. Theo shouted as he stepped in front of the girl, preventing her from continuing her walk.

— And since when do you care about that, Theodore? You fucked every single girl in this fucking school and now when I slept with ONE person you're get mad? — a sob escaped from Millicent's lips as she wrinkled her nose uncomfortably — You can't do this. Her voice became quieter and more vulnerable. — It should have been you, but you decided to sleep with her on my birthday.

— You sat on him in a way that I thought... I thought. Theodore's voice had also lowered in tone, and he looked at her seriously for the first time since the beginning of the discussion.

— It was a damn truth or dare game, we always did stupid things and we both know it means nothing, you fool. If I knew it would hurt you, I wouldn't have done a damn thing… — she murmured — But apparently you don't think the same way.

She turned away again, but this time Theodore just stood there, looking at her back, disappearing down the hallway.

— I would never do anything to hurt you, Y/n. I love you.

Theo shouted from afar, afraid to see her leave. He didn't want her to go like this, but he didn't know how to fix that mess.

— I can't believe you, Theodore, you lied about the dress. About her being at the party and wanting her there, maybe I'm being dramatic, but I can't believe you love me rigth now.

_____

So dramatic, I love it😍

Requests are open, message me if you have any ideas💞

Read the last part here