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do u wanna make the worst mistake of ur life (flirtatiously)
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sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit
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dude I always feel good until I get on this fucking app. what gives.
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do you think my mom will be mad when she finds out i got nanomachines in my bloodstream
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i have no interest in being a comedian, not even as a hobby, but i would like to do a stand up set at a funeral just to see if i could really kill it
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disclaiming that I'm not a furry not because I'm ashamed to be seen as a furry but because I don't want to steal furry valor
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no more "in my humble opinion", from now on it's "from my grandiose and objectively correct deductions".
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the euphoria of blocking rancid daddydom porn blogs on here while they鈥檙e spamming ur shit. like actually I鈥橫 the dad now. did u see that? ur banished. grounded for life. call ME sir
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scrolling horny tumblr when im not horny is like powerwalking around at an orgy, stepping over the writhing naked bodies, searching for any shiny objects that may be scattered round the area and may potentially be used to trade for higher level gear or potions of some kind
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99 problems and rough anal would solve all of them
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Sleepy baby who doesn't wear panties to bed and can't help but grind back against you while sleeping.
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i should be on all fours getting my face pushed into a mattress and my ass slapped while they鈥檙e aggressively thrusting deep inside of me telling me to take it like a good girl
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hold your hand against my stomach while we fuck & tell me how bad you wanna put a baby in me
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we need an 8th deadly sin tbh the other 7 just arent hitting the same
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