#especially when there’s only like five people on the stage dude. they are ants to me rn

[linoguy]

I really like the attention song by new jeans and I watched the performance….. these cameras dude

[panharmonium]

stranger things 3, a visual summary:

more coherent thoughts under the cut, because wow.

......okay.  that was a Trainwreck.  an absolute mess.

i remember when my coworkers were watching S3 (and still urging me to start season 1) and they were saying how amazing the latest season was, and honestly i think there must just be a difference in people who watch tv just to be entertained and people who watch tv and automatically evaluate the story (aka fandom veterans and English majors, lol - cue Me twice), because WHO could watch this critically and praise it that way?

it's honestly hard to know where to even begin; i've been sending frustrated notes to @brambleberrycottage ever since episode three and now that i'm done with episode 8 there's just......so much more to say

first, good things:

erica is a great character.  she's what max should have been (aka, uh.......interesting!)  i liked the realization moment where dustin was like "you're a NERD!"

that entire sequence where will is so upset with lucas and mike for not being engaged with the dnd game was very well done, especially the conversation he has with mike out in the rain.  i loved that moment where mike asked him "did you think we were just going to hang out in my basement playing games forever?" and will said, "yeah.  yeah, i guess i did."  i really felt that.  [edit, now that i've finished: this was never resolved.  will giving away his dnd books at the end was not an actual resolution to this conflict.]

steve is still a good dude, and robin was pretty cool.  i'm down for them being super friends.  but i'm still mourning the steve+nancy+jonathan trio that was a thing for like 5 seconds and then never returned.

i loved how genuinely excited steve was to see dustin when dustin came back from camp.  that was adorable.  "HENDERSON!!!!"  "how many children are you friends with?"

and uh. yeah.  i had more problems with this season than praise-bestowing moments, so.  here goes that bit.

OVERARCHING PROBLEMS:

1. keep it simple, stupid

remember in the office when dwight quoted the above advice to ryan as michael's rule for making a sale?  the same advice applies to storytelling.

season 1 of stranger things is so simple.  there is One Monster.  that is the danger.  and somehow, that single monster manages to be a thousand times more terrifying than all of these new "bigger, scarier, more epic" threats crammed into the second two seasons.

how goofy is the stranger things season 3 plot, seriously?  russians are blackmailing a small-town mayor so they can buy up land to steal power from the town while operating a secret lab under the mall to open a gate to the Upside Down (WHY?), while simultaneously a remnant of the malevolent force that was "defeated" last season has reanimated itself and is making people scarf chemicals (WHY?), and then it possesses one of them and uses that person to possess a bunch of other people in order to build itself a body made out of melted people, in order to kill el, whose only story this season is breaking up with her boyfriend, and we have to infiltrate this russian base in order to close the gate (same endgame as last season - BIG NO-NO) to kill the goo monster, except last time the "mindflayer” survived the gate being closed, so why would this even WORK, and -

the fact that there are so many "round-up/info dump" scenes where characters summarize what's going on and make implausibly accurate connections/guesses about what it all must mean is a red flag.  the characters shouldn’t have to tell your story to the audience.  if it's too complicated for us to keep straight on our own, it's too complicated.  

the amount of energy that goes into trying to lash together a Chaos Plot with too many shaky legs leaves nothing left over for nuanced character development or mood establishment.  you're constantly running to catch up to your own flimsy story before it collapses on top of itself.

2. the horror!

S1 of stranger things was the scariest thing i'd ever seen.

granted, i don't watch a lot of horror, because i don't like it.  i get scared too easily and then i legitimately can't sleep.  i watched a horror movie five years ago that i still think about every time the lights are off in my house.  but still, ST1 was something i had never experienced before.

it wasn't creature horror, and it wasn't just suspense.  it was the UNSETTLINGNESS of it all.  it wasn't really about the monster.  it was about the Upside Down.

the reason ST1 is so successful is because of how much we don’t know.  it's the horror of not understanding what is happening, and the terror of knowing that nobody thinks it’s real.  feeling like you're going crazy and being cut off from all assistance.  the conspiracy and the cover-up.  and the sheer unsettlingness of the whole parallel worlds things just tipped me over the edge - the idea that you can take one wrong step and then be suddenly and without warning completely off the map, simultaneously right next to the people you want to get to and also utterly beyond their reach.  that was fucking scary!!!!  

and they do it all with so little.  i have literally never been more scared in my life than when i would see those christmas lights start flickering.  and they're just LIGHTS!  yes, we see the monster later, but it's the uncertainty that's most frightening.  we don't understand how it arrives in our world, and we don’t know where it will show up next.  it could be right next to you - on the other side.  you could be standing on top of it.  you just don't know.  it’s like what jonathan says to nancy in her bedroom - “it can’t get us in here.”  and she says, “we don’t know that.”

the later seasons of stranger things, by comparison, did not scare me at all.  season two was like a zombie movie - hordes of weak enemies that you can just shoot with a gun.  and season 3 was even less frightening - upping the ante and making things gorier, more explosive, and bigger just isn't the vibe they set in S1.  i'm not scared of that giant goop monster.  it's like godzilla.  it's not horror; it's just a lot of noise.

the unsettling, "creep" factor that made season 1 so effective was gone.  it just turned into a regular old monster movie, and i didn't find that particularly interesting.

3. illogical, captain

a while ago there was a wave of pushback against people complaining about plot holes, but you know what?  there is, in fact, an appropriate place for us to talk about plausibility, as well as the point at which our suspension of disbelief collapses.

ST3 is a bona fide plausibility disaster.  i did not believe half of the story, because it was not unfolding in a believable way.

half of the plot points in this season would not have happened if the characters had been behaving with any kind of sense.  it is absolutely impossible for me to believe that none of these children IMMEDIATELY went to joyce or hopper the minute they knew something weird was going on.  it makes no sense.  after the shit they've seen?  it makes sense in season 1, because the kids are still so young that they have that kind of magical thinking that makes all of this seem kind of like an adventure.  but they're teenagers now, and developmentally, they’re past that stage.  they know the evil creature is back and they're pretty sure it's possessing billy?  for some unfathomable reason, they don't go to an adult, but try to trap billy in the sauna and just see what happens.  the other group has actual proof that russian soldiers are up to something shady in the mall?  they don't tell an adult; they send a TEN YEAR-OLD in through the AIR DUCTS to investigate the secret room guarded by MEN WITH GUNS.

this is ridiculous.  none of this should have happened.  none of this WOULD have happened.  it breaks the boundaries of disbelief.  it completely sabotages the audience’s engagement with the story - joyce and hopper's whole detour with alexei and murray is so dull, because its entire purpose is to bring hop and joyce up to speed on something that we, the audience, already know.  the other characters already found out this stuff, but did not communicate it - the gate is being opened again in a russian lab underground.  there's no suspense for us.  nothing new is revealed.  we're just waiting for them to hurry up and finish finding out so we can move on to the next thing.

moreover: there are so many other problems besides just "these characters would have talked to each other."  why on earth would murray, whose sole characteristic is extreme paranoia, take alexei wandering around the festival for hot dogs and carnival games.  why would hopper be so virulently against the possibility that weird shit might be happening again?  does he remember the past year or what?  how on earth would the kids be able to fight off that massive monster with an ax and a hunting rifle?  it's made out of dead guts and bones; why does it care if they shoot it?!  how in the WORLD is this russian facility so penetrable?  i'm sorry, it's just - beyond believable.  it doesn't have cameras?  the russians guards really can't tell that murray isn't a native speaker?  they don't check his id when they don't recognize him?  joyce and hopper really just got that lucky, to be asked a question and have “smile and nod” be the right answer?  nobody ever got shot?  it's silly.  it's just silly.  so many things - erica uses the "Open" button to open the elevator door in order to let steve and robin and dustin inside, but once the elevator is at the bottom of the shaft, robin explains the door's inexplicable non-opening because......you apparently need a keycard to use the buttons????  THAT MAKES NO SENSE; ERICA JUST USED THE BUTTONS A SECOND AGO.

even the entire endgame of this season is a contradiction!  if the mind-flayer survived el closing the gate last time, it doesn't make sense that closing the gate this time would kill it.  literally the entire plot of last season was "we need to get this thing out of will, because the creature will die once the gate is closed, and we want to make sure will doesn't die with it."  but apparently the creature didn't die upon closing the gate; it just got trapped in our dimension.  but now apparently it WILL die upon closing the gate.  for whatever fucking reason.

i'm sorry, but that’s a mess.  that’s a bona fide mess.

4. watch your tone

i honestly think the tonal change is the thing that made me the most frustrated about this season.  it's possible to have a terrible plot and still stay relatively true to your characters - you'll still have a bad season, but at least you didn't bastardize your characters in the process.

i had issues with S2 and i definitely was not as impressed with it as i was with S1, but at least in S2 joyce and hopper were recognizable.  in S3, i felt like i was watching strangers.  the tonal shift was bizarre and off-putting, more so with hopper than joyce, but it affected both of them.  

even as early as the very beginning of this season, i was feeling weird about how often hopper was being used for comedy.  and as the season progressed, this trend only became more pronounced.  almost every scene we had of him felt silly - and not like there was just something funny in the scene for me to laugh at, but like the audience was almost being asked to laugh AT him.  like he was constantly the butt of the joke.  

this really bothered me.  from that incredibly sincere and heart-wrenching portrayal of him in season 1, when they kept him rooted in the trauma of losing his daughter and the breakdown of his marriage, and then how that same trauma made him so driven to save will and protect the kids - what a change.  even in season 2 i was frustrated how the throughline of his daughter wasn’t touched again until the very last episode, and now in season 3 we’ve left that part of him so far behind that he's just there for us to laugh at.  we're supposed to laugh at scenes of him being drunk and a mess.  every scene he's in is either him arguing with joyce for comedic relief or being way over the top with alexei or the mayor.  he was like a caricature of himself, and i didn't recognize him.  

joyce suffered from the same thing, just by virtue of proximity.  she spent almost all of her time in this season with hopper, and virtually all of that time was taken up with silly shenanigans or comically overblown arguing.  what a departure from the desperate mother of season 1, who was maligned by everyone in town and only taken seriously by the audience.  now it’s the audience who are supposed to be chuckling at her.  

i dunno.  the tone shift was very dramatic, very obvious, and it impacted the entire season.  are we supposed to be taking this seriously or is it supposed to be a joke?  a little bit of humor to break tension can be a good thing, but when it's constant, it confuses the mood.  

and i personally don't think it was appropriate or respectful to either of these characters, in this case.

SMALLER THINGS THAT BOTHERED ME:

this show has 100% hit maximum character saturation.  by the end of this season there were 13 core characters onscreen at the same time, in the same scene!  it’s too many people!  they cannot reasonably develop that many people in the space allotted.

i still am not interested in max.  i don't feel anything for her.  she doesn't feel real.  i don't hate her, but she's just an empty vessel, and i really do think she's superfluous to this show.  i think you could remove her with very little reworking and the show would be stronger for it.  (they TRIED to do something interesting with billy, and i might have cared if we had been given literally any reason to care about him previously, but there was no investment earned there.  they didn't do the front-end work to make him somebody we were interested in.)

weird relationship sunderings from previous seasons.  i felt very strange about jonathan barely even seeing will this entire season.  i felt very strange about steve having almost zero contact with nancy.  i felt very strange about joyce hardly ever interacting with her kids.  all of these were core relationships - the characters were BUILT on those relationships, and they don't feel real outside of them.  not seeing these characters devote time to these relationships makes it feel like i'm watching a slightly different show.

the VIOLENCE.  apparently this is a beat-em-up now???  i really felt like every other scene somebody was getting beaten to a bloody pulp.  there was SO much smashing and bashing and throwing people into walls and fistfights and head trauma like - first of all, i find that stuff pretty boring, and second of all, all of these people should be in the hospital.  

the GORE.  other people’s mileage may vary, obviously; i just didn't like that.  i looked away at the scene with the rat, and all this...goopy dissolving human shit, and the stabbings, and just...general grossness level - season 1 managed to be bloodcurdlingly terrifying without any of this stuff.

i know this borders on nitpicky, but yet more medical malfeasance - another example of someone receiving an injection via the mysterious 90 degree angle neck route, plus - was anyone else losing it at the fact that steve and robin “puked up” a drug they received……..via injection??????  IT’S NOT IN THEIR STOMACHS, FOLKS!  THEY CAN’T PUKE IT UP!  IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT!

the complete lack of follow-up to last season.  the whole S3 plotline (such as it is) feels like a weird side quest.  last season seemed to be furthering the mythos and setting us up for "there are other children like el/brenner is alive" - but this season, that fact appears to have been forgotten by everyone (even el!!!) and has nothing to do with the story that we're given, which is a goofy and redundant story about russians opening a secret lab under the mall which requires us to solve the exact same problem as last season (closing the gate).

this show's inability to keep certain throughlines in its headlights/keep things visible on the periphery instead of dropping them completely and then bringing them back whenever they feel like they need it again.   i already talked about hopper’s daughter as an example of this (done well in S1 and poorly in S2 and S3).  another example is that scene with nancy and her mom - it’s such a good scene, and yet it misses out on so much resonance, because they completely dropped the plotline of karen feeling locked out of her kids’ lives and desperately wanting to connect with them.  if they had continued to reference that throughout season 2, then this scene would have been so much more powerful.   as a third example, season 3 starts with a clear context/premise, and it’s INTERESTING - the town landscape changing because of the mall, business slow to non-existent, small town discontent over big corporations moving in, hopper pressured to break up the protest against mayor kline when he should have let it proceed - and then the show just drops that entire context.  you expect season 3 to stay rooted in the "our small town is being strangled by this mall" and then to eventually deal with the revitalization of hawkins, but nah.  it's never mentioned again.

LASTLY:

i'm not really gonna get into hopper "dying," because he's, like...clearly not dead.  but the whole situation was stupid and contrived (i was so sick of that arnold schwarzenegger lookalike by the last episode, god that whole thing was so dumb) and it's even cheaper knowing that he'll obviously be back.

what i AM gonna say is that i was livid that they brought back that peter gabriel cover of "heroes" to end this season.  their use of that song in S1 blew my mind - it had me stunned with how GORGEOUS it was and just, the way it worked in that particular scene - absolutely incredible.  floored me.  gave me chills.  to recycle it at the end of such a poorly constructed season made me so mad.  yOU CAN'T MAKE ME FEEL THINGS JUST BY REUSING THIS SONG.  I REFUSE TO HAVE EMOTIONS JUST BECAUSE YOU PULL OUT THIS BEAUTIFUL TRACK THAT YOU ONCE USED TO GREAT EFFECT; YOUR STORY WAS STILL TERRIBLE THIS TIME AROUND; DO NOT TRY TO TRICK FEELINGS OUT OF US THAT HAVEN’T BEEN EARNED.  

and that's it.  i’m sure later i’ll think of other things i neglected to mention here, but...yeah.  i was not impressed.  

[thenerdparty]

Avengers: Endgame Film Review

Written by Shawn Eastridge Has it really been 11 years since the first Iron Man? The Dark Knight might have taken all the credit that year for revolutionizing the superhero genre, but Iron Man’s legacy has proved just as important. While other films in Phase One hobbled somewhere between decent and mediocre, Joss Whedon’s first Avengers exceeded any and all expectations. To this day, it stands as one of the greatest superhero films ever, and it paved the way for the remainder of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe.

Over the course of the past decade, the MCU has seen its fair share of highs (Anything directed by the Russos), lows (Thor movies not directed by Taika Waititi) and everything in between. But through it all, Marvel Studios has maintained a consistent level of quality, conjuring up box office numbers that made Warner Bros SO JEALOUS they ruined Superman in the attempt to catch up. (Hey, WB: I’m still available to help get you on the right track with the Man of Steel. Call me.)

But now, twenty-two movies later, it’s all come down to this. We’re in the Endgame now, the long-awaited BIG FINALE to Marvel’s Cinematic Universe.

Let’s be real, though - we all know this isn’t really the finale. The MCU will chug on and on forever. In fact, we’ve even got another Marvel movie right around the corner. (That would be July’s Spider-Man: Far From Home) And while that knowledge does dilute Endgame’s overall effectiveness - can anyone ever stay dead in the realm of comic books - it seems foolish to recognize Endgame as anything other than a monumental success.

Seriously, this ‘conclusion’ to the MCU’s recently dubbed ‘Infinity Saga’ satisfies on nearly every level, fulfilling arcs set up in prior films and providing proper send offs for characters we’ve come to know and love over the past decade. Instead of collapsing under the weight of its ongoing 22-film arc, the Russo Brothers, along with screenwriting duo Stephen McFeely and Christopher Markus, rise to the challenge and then some, wrapping things up with style, grace and a surprising amount of emotion. That is perhaps the most pleasant surprise: Endgame is genuinely touching in the way it thoughtfully concludes this ongoing story arc. You may find yourself dabbing the corners of your eyes more frequently than expected through the film’s brisk three-hour runtime.

This isn’t all to say that Endgame is without its fair share of flaws - and there are plenty that I’ll get into during the spoiler section of this review - but honestly, the nitpicks feel so minor when compared to all the things that work. Marvel Studios hasn’t just raised the bar for superhero filmmaking and ‘big finales’ in general. They’ve obliterated it.

There. That’s my non-spoiler reaction. MASSIVE SPOILERS await you ahead. So, do yourself a favor: if you haven’t seen Avengers: Endgame already, see it. Immediately. If you have any fondness for any of the films in this massive franchise, there’s no way you’ll be disappointed. Once you’re in the know, come back and check out the rest of this review.

Sound good? Okay. Let’s push forward.

. . . . .

Where Infinity War brought the comic book action early and often, Endgame’s opening moments are more meditative and somber. Our heroes have just faced a crushing loss. They’re still reeling from the devastation of Thanos’s infamous Finger-Snap Heard ‘round the Universe. Nothing will ever be the same.

After staging an effectively heart-wrenching opening scene, giving us a brief glimpse at Hawkeye’s family life before his wife and kids fade into ash, the Russos keep the mood low-key and mournful for the duration of the film’s first act. Then we get one of Endgame’s earliest and best twists: within the film’s first twenty minutes, the Avengers find Thanos and discover he’s destroyed the Infinity Stones to prevent anyone from undoing his monstrous deed. In an empty gesture, Thor chops off the purple dude’s head. It’s a brilliant way to kick things off, throwing the audience for a loop and suggesting an ‘anything goes’ vibe to keep us on the edge of our seats.

The story jumps ahead five years(!!) to find our heroes scattered and broken, attempting to mend together the pieces in a world still devastated by its new reality. I loved that the Russos let us wallow in our heroes’ misery for a bit. You really get a sense of the loss they’ve experienced, that the entire world has experienced. These scenes offer some wonderful character beats and conversations, something that has always elevated Marvel above the rest of the pack.

Scott Lang, a.k.a. Ant-Man, escapes the Quantum Realm (you saw Ant-Man and the Wasp, right?) to discover a significantly altered world. But he brings a message of hope with him: the duration of time he experienced in the Quantum Realm was only 5 hours, suggesting the potential for time travel. Maybe they can find a way to fix the devastation Thanos has wrought by traveling back in time?

P.S. Can I just take a moment to talk about how much I love Paul Rudd in this movie? Ant-Man has been on the periphery of the MCU’s big events and to see him take on such a big role in this movie was a huge thrill.

This glimmer of hope inspires the band to get back together and it’s genuinely surprising where some of them have ended up. Bruce Banner has finally made peace with his meaner, greener side, resulting in Professor Hulk, a version of the character that maintains Banner’s intelligence and personality. Thor never overcame his grief and has spent the past five years descending into drunken slobbery and gaining a significant amount of weight in the process. This provides one of the film’s best sight gags. Plus, it’s maintained throughout! Kudos to you, Russos!

And then we have Mr. Tony Stark himself, the key to figuring out how to make time travel work. But he’s moved on. He and Pepper have an adorable daughter. He has absolutely zero desire to lose what he has. Ultimately the realization that he can save the lives of countless billions - including one surrogate son Peter Parker - drives him to support the cause.

Endgame’s 2nd act centers around the newly reassembled Avengers time-traveling into the past to gather the Infinity Stones, bring them to their future and use them to ‘un-snap’ their fallen comrades. These sequences are fun and light on their feet. They’re especially effective in lieu of the grim opening scenes.

Here’s the thing, though: As much as I love this portion of the film and the way the time travel stuff is handled, I couldn’t help feeling there was a general lack of consequence to everything that happened during this sequence. Even when things skew from the team’s set plan, it doesn’t feel like a significant snag or an insurmountable obstacle. These moments are treated as minor annoyances before our heroes carry on with a new solution, nary breaking their strides or a sweat in the process.

It’s all fun in a Back to the Future Part II kind of way, but it’s treated more as an extended comedy bit than anything else, and to a certain extent, this robs Endgame of some level of suspense. Plus, it’s time travel. Once you throw time travel into the mix, all bets are off, and I couldn’t help shaking that feeling. After all, what’s to stop them from using this plot device again and again in the future, consequences be damned?

At the very least, the wackiness of the time travel sequence is balanced with some great character beats. I loved Thor’s tender moment with his mom. I loved Captain America vs. Captain America. I loved that Tony gets a sincere heart to heart with his dad, offering some much-needed closure. Robert Downey Jr. has never been anything less than wonderful in this role, but his performance in Endgame might take the cake. Honestly, everyone brings their A-game to the table and these moments ground the sequence, keeping it from getting too bonkers.

This sequence is also balanced with a genuinely tragic moment: Black Widow sacrifices herself to get the Soul Stone. I don’t know why this scene has been stirring up some people, because here’s the thing: this moment works perfectly. Natasha (Black Widow) and Clint (Hawkeye) travel to Vormir to obtain the Soul Stone. As established in Infinity War, the only way to obtain said stone is to sacrifice the thing you love most. Clint’s willing to take the plunge. He’s become a monster in the five years since his family’s disappearance (but an awesome, katana-wielding monster) and he doesn’t feel he deserves to see them again. Natasha knows this isn’t true and she’s willing to sacrifice herself to ensure Clint gets his happy ending. After all, he saved her all those years ago. It’s time to return the favor. It’s heartbreaking, but it feels right and Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner sell every minute.

The plan is a success, but it's not without its snags. Past Thanos ends up getting involved when past Nebula tunes into future Nebula’s wifi and begins broadcasting everything future Nebula has seen, including the Avengers’ time travel plan. Thanos gets worked up into a tizzy and he and past Nebula devise a plan to get him into the Avengers’ future so he can ensure everyone snapped out of existence stays snapped out of existence. Also, why not wipe out everyone else in the process just for good measure? Because that’s what big, angry, purple maniacs do. Don’t question it.

Is it a bit weird that the Thanos the Avengers face isn’t the same Thanos so carefully fleshed out in Infinity War? Yeah, a little bit. To be honest, it makes things feel kind of impersonal. This Thanos feels more like the mysterious being teased in dozens of MCU post-credits sequence than the layered, thoughtful villain of the previous film. It’s a bit of a bummer, but it is what it is.

Ultimately, my biggest gripe with Endgame is the same gripe caused by Infinity War’s conclusion. We already knew the disintegrated heroes were going to come back for their obligatory sequels. Their arrival during Endgame’s epic battle to end all epic battles feels inevitable more than surprising.

And, look, let me be clear: Endgame’s climax is the ultimate superhero big battle you’ve been dreaming of since Nick Fury first name-dropped the ‘Avengers Initiative.’ I went nuts with the best of them when all our heroes returned from the abyss for this ultimate showdown, so understand my next criticism comes from a place of love. Once all the heroes show up, the stakes disappear. I didn’t have any doubt the Avengers would win. As a result, the climax is robbed of its suspense. It’s basically fan service to the nth degree, which again, I’d like to emphasize I was totally cool with. It just prevents the battle from conjuring up any emotional depth.

This isn’t The Return of the King. It's not the Battle of Hogwarts or the Death Star trench run or even the first Avengers' Battle for New York. It’s a big, flashy special effects extravaganza overflowing with crowd-pleasing beats, but lacking in genuine (here’s this word again) consequence. Again, I want to emphasize that I loved every second of it, but there’s a significant lack of loss during these scenes. Ultimately, Tony Stark sacrifices himself to save the universe and it’s absolutely BRILLIANT and heart-wrenching, but no one else seems in danger. Iron Man dies so that dozens of franchises can live on.

The remaining twenty minutes or so of Endgame are low key. We witness Tony’s emotional funeral, torches are passed (go, Sam Wilson, go!) and some unexpected-slash-exciting team-ups are teased (Fat Thor with the Guardians of the Galaxy? I am SO in.) But it’s during these quiet scenes that the Russos skillfully remind us what has always mattered the most: the characters. And I’m not going to lie, it’s difficult not to get choked up when Steve Rogers, a man who has sacrificed so much for the greater good, finally gets his happy ending, dancing the day away with the love of his life.

Big finales don’t get much more enjoyable or fulfilling than this. Marvel’s Cinematic Universe will go on and on and on. Inevitably, its quality will wane and fade, but we can rest easy knowing that the heroes that kicked everything off got the send-off they deserved. It might not be perfect, but it’s pretty damn great. Most importantly, it’s satisfying.

With the Infinity Saga, Marvel Studios has accomplished something extraordinary. They’ve touched countless millions across the globe without compromising the artistic quality of this multi-billion dollar franchise. We can rage on and on about Disney’s domination and how everything is just a corporate product and blah, blah, blah, but we’d be ignoring the fact that they got to where they are because they honored their source material and went out of their way to give the fans something special.

So to Kevin Feige and the entire team at Marvel Studios, cast, crew, writers, bean pushers, etc., I’d like to say thank you. You’ve earned every record-breaking penny. We love you 3000.

Now can someone please un-cancel Daredevil?? Come on!!

[scientifically-strange]

Blast to the Past Part 2: The Future?

Danny desperately just wanted one normal day. But apparently, the Universe or Clockwork, or whoever, he didn’t care anymore, decided that that was too much for the young halfa.

This whole week had been complete crap. Sunday, there was a small army of Hydra robots (created by Hydra, naturally) that decided they were going to do a WWII reenactment and try taking over France. Danny had teamed up with the Avengers for that.

Monday there was a new ghost who had some sort of vendetta against Skulker. He protected the animals, land, sea, and air, and ghost, and Skulker was being a dick about it. He had to fly all the way to the outskirts of Wakanda to take them both down (Even though he kind of  agreed with the animal lover), and sent them back to their own layers. Then he had been captured by the Wakandan patrol and Tony had to come and vouch for him to be let go, that he was just helping.

Tuesday he saw Tucker and Clint fall from the ceiling in the kitchen while Danny had been half asleep and eating a bowl of cereal. They had landed on the other side of the table, making it break and flip up, knocking Danny’s food into his face.

Wednesday was normal, thank goodness. But that was weird because that never happens. It was so unproductive it was unsettling.

But now it was Thursday, and he was with the Avengers again, kicking ass against Hydra (again), but this time it was in DC, where they were trying to take down the Washington Monument. However, during that battle, whether it was during the takedown or right after, Danny wasn’t quite sure, but when he high-fived Captain America, he high-fived the wrong one.

He just wanted one normal fucking day. The worst part was he didn’t even notice until they had gotten back to the others and the present-day Cap had been picking himself up from the debris, shaking off the dust and pain. He stretched and kind of chuckled at Clint when he tripped over his own feet and fell into the reflecting pool. But Danny’s grin had escaped him.

The past Steve and Bucky walked around, bewildered at the sight of a giant robot more so than at their future selves.

“Danny? Where are we?” Bucky asked, concerned when he took notice of the second Steve. He was dirty and rugged, and his shirt had holes in it, and Danny noticed the way his hands gripped his rifle a little closer to him.

“Uh...” Danny said, at a loss for words.

“Danny, you’re bleeding!” Ant-Man rushed forward and started checking the gash on Danny’s head, nearly tackling him to the ground. “Hey, Cap, do you have any bandages?”

“Yeah, here you go,” Future Steve said, leaning over and handing him some from his belt. He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes glued onto his past self and past Bucky.

“Steve, is this the Twilight Zone?” Future Bucky hissed into his Steve’s ear when he walked up to see what was wrong.

“Steve, Bucky,” Danny said, swatting Scott away and turning toward the present day pair, “this is Steve and Bucky. From the forties.”

“What year is this?” Past-Bucky asked.

“It’s 2017,” the other Bucky replied.

“This is going to get really confusing,” Scott mumbled.

“Yeah,” Danny said with a groan, “no kidding.”

---------

Back at the Tower, Steve and Bucky talked with their past selves. To avoid confusion, they called them Steven and James, which was really weird, because now that he thought of it, he had never heard their full names until now. Danny was making a meal fit for an Asgardian. After all, he’s got four super soldiers and himself to feed. That’s enough for Thor to get seconds.

“So, how did you guys end up here?” Danny asked James and Steven. He put the lid on the pot of noodles, letting it stir itself, and turned to face them. He noticed that they were fresh and clean, free from the months of dirt that had caked over them. Their clothes were gonna be washed and repaired, but until then Steven had borrowed from Steve, and James had borrowed from Danny because Bucky’s clothes were to big for him. It was weird seeing the before and after stages of Hydra manipulation sitting side by side and having a detailed conversation about Star Wars. Seeing both Steves, though, the only things that were different were the the hair and the eyes. They had the same shade of baby blues, but damn, it was like they spoke two different languages.

“We don’t really know,” Steven answered. He sat straight up with his hands in his lap. “Bucky sounded like he was in trouble so I came to help. Then there was this bright light and we were thrown into the reflection pool. Everything is all kind of fuzzy.”

“There was this Dracula dude,” James chipped in. “I never thought I’d meet an actual vampire.”

Danny stiffened and shared a look with Steve.

“What did this...Vampire look like?” Steve asked. Danny was a little to angry to form polite questions at the moment.

“He was blue, had a white cape, looked kind of fancy. I think he was glowing or something?” Bucky offered.

“Vlad,” Danny spit. He turned back around and took the lid off the pot, checking the noodles before he put them in a strainer and added some sauce. He gave four heaping bowls of the stuff to the soldiers, and a slightly smaller one for himself, along with some expensive bread Stark imported from Italy.

“You know him?” Steven guessed. Steve gave his past self a look that said drop it but Danny decided to answer anyway.

“He was an old friend of my parents. They worked together in college on ghost stuff,” he started. “He’s a halfa too. The first, actually. He used his powers to get rich and famous. He always hated my dad for the accident that turned Vlad into a halfa. He ended up in the hospital and my parents fell in love. Vlad had a major crush on her.

Then their college reunion came around. I was fourteen at the time, it was just a few months after I got my powers. one thing led to another, we found out each others secrets and became like, mortal enemies or whatever. A couple years back he screwed me over so now I live here.”

Steven and James knew by the tone of the boy’s voice that they weren’t supposed to ask how this guy screwed him over. But there was still one question itching at the back of their heads.

“Why did Vlad bring them here then, Danny?” Bucky asked. Danny shrugged and slurped his noodles.

“Don’t know,” he said with a mouth full of food. “Not good though. He should know not to mess with time like this, he learned that lesson along time ago. With you two here they never stop Hydra and win the war,” Danny guessed. “So maybe we go to Hydra and figure out what the hell is going on.”

“It’s too dangerous,” Steve countered, setting his food down.

“Look, I know. But if Vlad is in trouble we gotta help him. With his kind of power in Hydra’s hands the rest of the world won’t stand a chance. We gotta hit em hard and fast.”

“We can help,” Steven suggested.

“No, you guys have to go to the portal and get back to your own time,” Bucky said.

“The portal was fried by Technus last week, remember?” Danny said. “I was going to fix it this week but I haven’t had the chance. It’ll take me weeks to get to wires and re-circuit the whole thing.But if we help Vlad he might let us use his.”

“Then it’s a deal,” Bucky said. “We’re coming with.”

---------

Getting in to the compound and finding Vlad had been the easy part.

Getting him out was the part they were still trying to work out.

“Daniel? After what I’ve done I have to say-I’m a bit surprised to see you helping me,” Vlad said when Danny had put his arm around him, helping the older halfa walk. Danny remained silent.

The four soldiers had provided lots of cover, and there were a couple of close calls with Steven and James, but they managed okay enough. Especially with the upgraded guns Stark provided specifically for this mission. It was kind of fun seeing Nazis being killed.

But Vlad still kept talking.

“Why are you helping me Daniel? Have you had a change of heart? Maybe changed your mind about my proposal?”

Danny ignored him. Instead he focused his anger on the door in front of them, kicking it down with such force it splintered and flew almost ten feet away. His eyes were a blazing green.

He followed the Steves and Buckys out into the opening, just barely making it a safe distance away before the explosion they had set up went off. Danny let go of Vlad, and he fell to the ground in a heap. Danny pressed his boot down on Vlad’s chest, his anger seeping into every word.

“We are going to use your portal. You won’t mess with time or Hydra again. And if I ever see you again you won’t be just another halfa. Understand?” When Vlad hesitated Danny pressed down harder. He heard the beginning of a crack, but it was just a fracture he was making. Vlad coughed and nodded.

“Good,” Danny said. “Let’s go, guys.”

--------

Once in the Zone, it was only a short flight to Clockwork’s, but he had to make the trip four times because he couldn’t carry all of them at once. When he was carrying James, his anger began to finally go away. He didn’t realize he started to cry, though, until James pointed it out. Danny didn’t say anything though. This was going to be saved for a session with Wilson.

When he went back to grab Bucky, the last of the four, his face was dry and monotone.

“If he ever shows his face again I’ll help you,” he said, squeezing Danny’s shoulder. He nodded, thankful for the offer.

“Yeah. Thanks,” he said. 

“Hello, Danny,” Clockwork said as he turned into a baby. “The portal you need is right over there. Would you care to stay for a game of chess?”

“And lose to the guy who knows the future?” Danny chuckled.”I think I’ll pass. But thanks anyway, Stopwatch.”

The goodbyes were weird and heartfelt, and despite being the same people, they weren’t. Not really. The future Steve and Bucky were so different from their past selves in so many ways tan just physical, and it was easy to tell. And even though he was going to see them for breakfast in the morning, he was going to miss them. Once they were gone, Steve and Bucky decided to go back tot he Tower, Danny promising to meet up with them later. He turned to Clockwork.

“I changed my mind on chess,” Danny said, letting his head hang down. Clockwork smiled and brought him into a side hug.

“I’ll make some tea.”

[topweeklyupdate]

TØP Weekly Update #27: Setting Chart Records and Playing Jenga (2/26/17)

This week wasn’t heavy on shows, but regardless still full of great moments with the fans and a bunch of really good interviews. Let’s get into everything.

This Week’s TØPics:

Performance/Interview Recaps from Across America

Look Ahead at Upcoming Shows in the Southeast US

Yet Another Chart Record Secured; Can “HeavyDirtySoul” Help Extend Their Run?

Major News and Announcements:

Really wasn’t any major news, announcements, or releases of any kind this week. ...Moving on!

Performances, Interviews, and Other Shenanigans:

The tour keeps moving quickly across the U.S. without any major changes to the setlist. The show in Tulsa ended with a pretty fantastic Trees Speech and had Good Guy Josh meet up backstage with a young fan and his dad who had their show experience disrupted by a drunk fan in the pit. The Dallas show was located at a major venue and was thus heavily attended by some major members of the online Clique (some of who got the chance to Facetime with the boys from the front of the line thanks to a sweet radio station). Tyler told the Birmingham show that he was writing a new song right before going up onstage, and he promised the crowd at Greensboro that the fans, not media or critics, are at the front of his mind right now.

In addition to that, we also got a bunch of pretty great interviews, which I tried to collect all of here. Please, let me know if I missed any. Or if you exist and are reading this. I get lonely.

Fresno, Dunno the Station

This was filmed with a potato (not my joke). Also, 95% sure the mic isn’t real/turned on.

The dude takes his pants off, which starts out kinda awkward, but he keeps going, so respect.

Also respect the guy for asking a really good question: namely, what the guys think about the ideal relationship between music and politics. It’s a genuinely thoughtfully put question, because it opens up that conversation without forcing them to start out taking a stance, and I really appreciate that. Josh says that he sees music as a canvas where people can say whatever they want, and any message should be permitted to be put on that platform, additionally pointing out that music is subjective and that different songs/artists can affect people in different ways. Tyler gives an answer that raises such a good point and is so characteristically Tyler that I’m just going to put it here in full.

“We’ve learned that audiences, fans, and, really, big groups of people, are a lot smarter than some people give them credit for as far as being able to tell if someone is being authentic, being able to tell whether or not it’s a cause that you actually wake up in the morning and worry about and actually live and die by. There’s definitely those artists that can get up there and you can smell it, that this is why they’re here, and you can appreciate that. On the other side, you can also tell when someone is just tapping into what’s hot and what’s going to get them the most traction in that moment. We’re very aware of how smart audiences are; it started with us just playing to rooms of people and realizing “We’re not going to trick these people, so let’s just be us.” We know who we are, we know what we want to say, we know why we make music, and it’s just never been politically charged for us because we’re focusing on something so much more introspective. It’s about us working through what we’re working through as an individual, and as much as we respect those people who are really wanting to change the world and have a social stance, for us it’s exhausting enough to just be working on ourselves. Hopefully, that’s what our music is encouraging, because that can also bring about a lot of change.”

The interviewer asks the name question, but only because of an audience poll (he looked up the answer). 

Las Vegas, Mix 94.1, The Jenga Interview:

This is an interesting interview just because of the format- they face each other in Jenga and are asked questions based on the number on the blocks- which makes it entertaining to watch even when the questions aren’t the most interesting or original.

Tyler’s favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla (of course); he tries to defend himself by saying that he likes to add stuff to it, but we know the truth...

When asked favorite superhero, you can tell Tyler’s brain just goes completely blank- he says Ant-Man without having even seen the movie.

When in Vegas, Josh prefers tables to slots.

Tyler believes that the most famous person in his phone is either Josh or Matt Bellamy, who he only met last week.

They still haven’t received their real Grammy.

Tyler would like to bring Abraham Lincoln back from the dead to be their bass player.

Tyler wins the game on a dumb technicality with the biggest poop eating grin. His reward: a Taco Bell gift card that he agrees to share with his fren. I cry.

Las Vegas, 107.5:

First question is about fashion: Tyler’s bolo tie, specifically (I dig this interviewer, really chill, deliberate about asking unique questions).

The next question is about their time off when they’re done touring- Tyler says that he’s looking forward to doing nothing, but that he also is aware of the possibility that, after five years of constant touring, he might not even like to sit still anymore. Josh admits to almost being scared of what the time off might be like (me too, pal).

Josh says he’s assembling a list of places like the Great Wall and the Pyramids that he wants to visit but will have to be deliberate about seeking out due to their distance from the standard touring circles. Tyler points out that he basically wants to just visit things he thinks were built by aliens; Josh confirms.

The interviewer, in Tyler’s own words, hits exactly on the head Tyler’s personal thoughts and concerns about the next album: “You guys wrote a great, amazing piece of art that resonated and connected with a ton of people, and there’s going to be pressure from management, record labels, radio, fans, to make another commercial success like that. Can you block that out and just say ‘I’m gonna make art no matter what’?” Tyler responds that he’s trying to navigate the voices, and is both comforted and panicked by the fact that ultimately it’s their decisions that will drive the project forward. 

Tyler on songwriting: “If you hit a wall, you can write about hitting that wall. There’s always something to say.”

The interviewer suggests that they could stage a feud after the next album to secure their place as a stadium band. Tyler likes the idea a lot, but Josh just gets worried that they’ll have a real fight and no one will believe them.

Tulsa, 92.1 The Beat:

Tyler and Josh both really turn against the idea behind a question about awkward fan encounters in a really heartwarming way. “We don’t want to throw anyone under the bus,” says Tyler, who says that he totally understands, from meeting people they look up to, the weird flow of interactions when encountering someone who you imagined as larger than life yet felt like you knew very personally from what they revealed in their music. Josh gets even more positive about it, talking about all of the amazing art he’s seen from people in their community that really puts them on an equal level. (I love these nice boys.)

When asked if they would ever collab with a fan on something, Josh says that they already basically have with Andy last week. I cry.

Tyler’s "guilty” pleasure is Fergie; Josh’s is Katy Perry who he loves and wants to let know that he “is super, SUPER single”.

Nathan Fast, Dallas:

Tyler hopes that the folks in line are remembering to get hydrated (it’s important, kid).

Josh says that they’re lucky that they’re both on different cycles of sadness (MY HEART) because it helps them to keep each other encouraged and energized. He also claims that Tyler gives him “a big hug” when he’s feeling down (help me), but that Tyler isn’t big on hugging otherwise, so Josh has to substitute it with a Red Bull. I can’t with this friendship.

Taking their pants off “was super punk rock”, in Josh’s words. They both took off their shoes and belt ahead of time, and had to figure out last minute to take their pants with them so that they weren’t stuck pantsless backstage. “Gotta think ahead.”

Kidd Kradick, Dallas:

Tyler and Josh deliberately avoided eye-contact during their Grammy speech.

Josh jokes that he keeps in shape by eating a lot of cookies, but more seriously says that they actually have had to be more deliberate about exercising when not on-tour in order to maintain the same level of physicality, especially as they start to get older.

They talk a bit about how they were both aware of each other’s existence in Columbus long before they formally met, which helped them to mesh more easily.

Tyler is lowkey jealous of Josh’s iPad gift from Mark Hoppus, but the interviewer comforts him by pointing out that Mark probably only got it so that Josh wouldn’t get lonely now that Tyler’s married. #trufacts

Chart Performance:

Bringing back this segment just for this week for two very specific reasons: “Heathens” has now set the record for the most weeks a song has spent at Number One on the Billboard Rock Charts, surpassing the former record-holder, Walk the Moon’s “Shut Up and Dance” and expanding the band’s record streak of dominating the chart with what has now been sixty weeks with a song at #1. It should be noted, however, that this is not as big an accomplishment as a lot of publications have been suggesting; rock has only had its own chart since 2009, well after the end of the genre’s dominance of the music industry, and that’s not even getting into the discussion of whether Twenty One Pilots is even really a “rock” band. 

The other sales accomplishment from this week is that “HeavyDirtySoul” has picked up enough airplay to sneak onto Billboard’s “Bubbling Under” chart at #25. While this is pretty cool, it doesn’t mean that the song is a hit just yet. We’ll get into that topic more in BLIND SPECULATION OF THE WEEK later. 

Upcoming Shows:

This week’s shows will cover most of the American Southeast, home to an especially passionate music community but also a region that’s had a lot of economic struggles and not a ton of major sports teams outside of college campuses. Some of these venues really depend on concerts to keep the lights on. Let’s give them a look and some appreciation.

Show 28: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina, 2/26

Capacity: 12,600

Tonight’s show is only the first this week to take place in an independent municipality cut out of the north of a larger Southern city. Remarkably, this will be Twenty One Pilots’ first ever trip to the state of South Carolina. Charleston is a pretty renowned cultural center in the South, so the crowd should be hopping.

The North Charleston Coliseum hosts a minor league hockey team, the South Carolina Stingray, and the occasional local college game. ...It’s cool, I guess.

Show 29: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida, 2/28

Capacity: 21,500

The tour then pushes further south to the west coast of Florida. Though the band hasn’t visited the city in quite awhile, they have a pretty extensive history with Tampa, as laid out by this nifty article. Their first of what will now be twenty-eight shows in Florida was in Tampa; it’s pretty nifty that they will be wrapping up this album cycle in the city.

The Amalie Arena is another NHL arena used by the Tampa Bay Lightning. ...Cool.

Show 30: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana, 3/2

Capacity: 17,800

Next stop: New Orleans! Remarkably, this will only be the second show played in Louisiana, the last one being a festival show at Voodoo Fest way back in 2014. Giving Tyler and Josh an excuse to visit one of the most musical places in the world and possibly get inspired for the next album is also not a bad thing.

The Smoothie King Center is maybe the second-worst/best name of an arena I’ve ever heard (Dunkin Donuts in Providence still takes the cake). Located right next to the NFL Saints Superdome and itself hosting the NBA Pelicans, this will give a lot of fans their first opportunity to see the band in any setting- that’s pretty darn rad.

Show 31: Verizon Arena, North Little Rock, Arkansas, 3/3

Capacity: 18,000

Here’s the second “North” city, cut out of the capital of the great state of Ar-Kansas. This will be the second TØP show in Arkansas, the first being just this last year in the city of Rogers in the northwest corner of the state. New markets are always a good thing.

The Verizon Arena is a venue that’s been hurting a little bit in recent years, as its lost all of its sports teams and has been forced to rely on trade shows, rodeos, and, of course, concerts. Glad TØP’s helping to keep the lights running.

Show 32: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee, 3/4

Capacity: 19,000

The penultimate stop for the tour will be in the capital of Tennessee, the tenth TØP concert in that state, though this is the first one in Memphis since before the release of Blurryface (Nashville and Bonnaroo tend to dominate concert attraction in the state). Of course, Memphis is still a big music city- I’m pretty sure we can expect “Can’t Help Falling In Love” with you at this show.

FedEx Forum, so named due to Memphis’ position as a FedEx transport hub, is home of both the NBA Grizzlies and the basketball program of the University of Memphis. 

BLIND SPECULATION OF THE WEEK:

So, we mentioned before that “HDS” made it onto the Bubbling Under chart at #25. That doesn’t mean that the song is #125 in America; rather, the Bubbling Under chart only lists songs that have yet to reach the Hot 100, meaning that their are potentially dozens of songs that are doing better than it that only are not on the Bubbling Under chart because they got pushed back from a former position. As such, “HeavyDirtySoul” doesn’t just have to get enough airplay pickup in the coming weeks to pass 25 songs, more like 50- and that’s not even counting all of the additional tracks that will be released in the coming weeks that will only further push it back. 

And it will have to be mostly pop radio airplay driving it; Twenty One Pilots has been known well enough for long enough that everyone who’s buying that two-year old track has probably done so already (the rush to buy was why “Cancer” was able to chart its first week- “HDS” lacks that), and it’s going to need popular exposure to get any more streams than its already received (any gains it received in that category from fans rushing to the music video are now gone). Does “HDS” have that potential for popular appeal? I honestly don’t think so- but I didn’t think “Stressed Out” did, either. *shrug* We’ll see.

Power to the local dreamer.

|-/