#especially when people have hurt her feeligns in the past like anthony has wdjfhdjsf

[themarcspector-archive]

“ you flat out just admitted you have feelings for me. “ fitz + cloud

Claudia froze, and then looked down at the ground and pushed a piece of stray hair behind her ear. She then cleared her throat and lifted her hands as though she was surrendering while on a mission, when really, she just did not want to talk about the fact that she’d drunkenly confessed her love to him last night.

Rarely ever was she the type to express her emotions like that, after all; even drunk. But she was pretty sure she'd seen her brother’s ghost sucked into a something she couldn't explain, and she had the need to try and keep people from leaving her. She did not want Fitz to leave her. If he left her again, she’d probably never get over it, and would hate him forever. But last night, even though she couldn’t remember all that she said, she did recall admitting her feelings and asking him to stay with her, instead of moving towns. 

��I did, yes - sue me,” she said with a light scoff, putting her hands down, before rubbing her elbow and looking away from him. “It won’t change anything though, right? You’re still leaving. You’re still going so far, far away. Nothing, and I mean nothing, I said could and will change that. So, like, it’s whatever.”

She huffed out a breath and some hair flew up with it. There was a possibility that he wouldn’t leave because he said he wouldn’t, but for all she knew, he might, and soon. And maybe, just maybe, these words she threw his way would keep him from staying because she habitually pushed people away. 

Why, oh why, did she push people away?

And why, exactly, didn’t she stop herself from doing so?

It wasn’t a mystery. If anything, it was a frustration, because she always made a habit of leading to her own self-destruction.