#especially to continue writing for the fandom (it is the reason why I’m strictly written for ieytd instead of my other wips)

[lunacornfan2k24]

I know that this is a rant post but do you have any ideas on how the fandom could be more welcoming to lesbians

i miss posting and making and engaging with ieytd content but I will be honest sometimes it feels alienating. as a lesbian.

[thattimdrakeguy]

Damian is the best developed Robin and your just salty because he’s better than Tim, so you pull panels out of context.

I sure hope you’re a child or something, because going straight for the bitter assumption is straight out of the playground.

Also I’m pretty sure that there is no context that makes the barrage of stuff Damian did any better.

Like

What context

Can there be

That makes this stuff better.

Like tell me.

I don’t really care if he said to Superman that he wouldn’t let any harm come his way, considering the genuine fact he smacked and let Jon get stomped on after he said that.

Which just makes Damian look like a sociopath above all else. Which doesn’t make him a well-developed characters if you think about it as objectively as you can.

Like IN CONTEXT, the stuff looks freaking worse even.

So what context are you actually asking me to bring up?

That Damian doesn’t know how to socialize and that he was raised by a cult? Because that doesn’t excuse his terrible behavior, that’s just the explanation for it.

I’m suppose to believe that he’s grown as a person because he learned to stop killing, but as someone that has read almost every single genuine appearance he made before the New 52 and even becoming Robin.  I know very well that Damian decided that his dad was right before he even became Robin, without even having a reason to suddenly believe that. Which was inconsistent with his first appearance, where, as far as anyone was strictly shown, Damian was so brainwashed by the League that it should’ve never have been that easy for him to suddenly change his mind on that.

Which is just poor writing.

if you wanna give that a context as well.

He may have tried to get Jon on the Titans after, and saved his life, but he still treats him like dog crap.

If an abusive husband, smacks his wife, mocks her, triggers her PTSD, and get into psychical fights all the time. Says he won’t do her any harm, get her a promotion, and pushed her out of the way of a moving care, that doesn’t change what he’s done, and certainly not if he continues the bad behavior afterwards as well.

It’s a very simple matter honestly. It’s not that hard.

It’s just how the thing was written. Even if it most likely accidentally said horrible things about Superman as a dad and Damian as a person for having this stuff happen so much.

All of this stuff is out there for people to read. All you have to do is go in with a fresh mind away from what the fandom says, and ignore the forcibly cutesy tone Super Sons forces sometimes to realize this stuff.

–

The one time someone actually gave me a context for something that made a moment better, it was something I only missed because I didn’t catch it the first time, and then I corrected myself, and never used that panel again. And as far as I’m aware I never deleted that. So you can still find that on my blog.

Because this isn’t even a freaking bias thing. I’m just a guy who read comics and criticizes the writing because it gives my mind something to do.

So just stop with the whiny “you just blah blah blah” talk, because I see it way too much, and it comes off more like subconscious projection more than anything else at this state.

Or some form of gaslighting, I’m not even fully sure, because I don’t really care about the “whys” anymore.

Immediately assuming that I say some things out of a bias is something I have to deal with so often. That it’s making genuinely question why exactly I keep getting these asks. That’s the biggest “why” I have. Not because they wanna gaslight me, or convince me, or what ever.

It’s just why waste your time? 

Because I know who I am and why I think what I do. I am genuinely confident enough on that, because it’s not a difficult realization for myself, because I know myself, and I can easily recall the very simple thought process I had while reading these comics. It was positively not “Oh I don’t like Damian cuz it’s not Tim”, it’s always “I don’t like the writing of this comic, because *insert whatever here*”.

If you can’t realize that I’m commenting on the writing over the actions of the characters or what ever. Then why bother sending me an ask like this?

So just stop pretending I’m as petty as you are.

If you think Damian is better developed.

I don’t even come close to agreeing with you.

I don’t think the guy who still kidnaps, manipulates, abuses people, and so forth is a greatly developed character. Especially when his first appearances before he became Robin couldn’t even keep his personality straight.

But I don’t fucking care if you like him. I really don’t.

If anything I’m concerned that you wanna believe Damian and Jon have a healthy relationship, or that Damian is even a cute person when besides around two or three moments, that are actually shown out of the context with Damian repeating his bad behavior as well ironically enough, they have never had a healthy relationship, besides maybe that DCeased stuff that couldn’t even been bothered to try and write Damian right. or maybe that holiday stuff that’s always purposely out of character because I’m pretty sure DC isn’t gonna put Damian smacking a kid in their holiday special.

You just have to have something better to do then to try and weakly defend a fictional character’s abusive acts against a guy just commenting on what he reads. You really have to have something better to do.

You have literally, wasted the time out of your day, to send me this ask. When you don’t know the freaking context to any of this.

If it was just to make me upset, then congrats, but ya failed, because I’m not even at a level were I can consider myself upset. It’s just a headshake of “really now”.

I’m not sore that the fictional bad man does bad things. I’m genuinely not.

I have never even cared that Damian constantly tries to harm Tim. I’ve only been annoyed at the quality of writing those issues have.

Search my blog, and unless you wanna pull an irony and take something I said out of context that’s what it’ll actually show.

It’s genuinely just as simple as me commenting on the quality of the writing and the fan reaction.

–

I just don’t understand your point at all. There’s not a context to these things that would actually make it better. These are just abusive actions Damian has taken and that’s just the character.

If you’re literally just here to upset me or something. Than I’m not even that upset anymore, because I’ve dealt with far more aggressive people on the subject that have come closer to gaslighting me.

I’m just more confused then anything else.

[fandom-star]

Transgender Pride Month Challenge

So, I'm an admin on a trans meme/info account on Instagram, and one of the guys on there sent this to our chat, so I thought I'd do it on here.

1. My name is Elliott or Ell. I am asexual and bi/panromantic (both fit me so I use both) and I am a transmasculine non-binary person.

2. The only proper coming out I've had was with my mum. I don't feel like putting it here, it's somewhere on my blog. Most of the time I've either given my friends my Tumblr knowing they'd figure it out or I've just dropped a thousand hints in group chats! I dunno, I just prefer coming out like that with people I know will be okay with it.

3. I've probably always had an idea, at least since I was about 8, but after the age of 10 I kind of went into a fair bit of denial and threw myself into being a fangirl. I eventually realised I should look into it in May 2018, when I first identified as a demigirl.

4. I am not on hormones. It's probably something I'll look into doing maybe in my mid twenties for half a year, maybe a year, to get the extent of the effects that I want, but I don't think I'd stay on for much more than a year.

5. My support system is mostly my friends. 

6. My chest, my deadname (mostly seeing it written), sometimes my voice, sometimes my height.

7. When I decided to change my name (July 2018 when I was exploring the possibility of being a trans guy) the one thing I knew was that I wanted to still be able to feasibly use the nickname Ell. So I basically looked around online for names with that sound in them. I ended up with about five or six and wrote down the pros and cons of them all. The only con on the name Elliott was that there was a guy in my form class with the same name (Elliot), whereas the others usually had about two. So I chose Elliott.

8. I haven't had much of a transition journey. I had my hair cut short in July 2018. Had my first irl coming out in September 2018 as non-binary to a friend who figured it out. July 2019 I changed my name. July and August 2019 I came out to my mum (if you followed me then you'll know what that story is and why it was over two months). November 2019 I went to a comic con with my friends which was my first time being openly non-binary in public, and I also bought my first pronoun badge there. Later in the month, my mum bought me a pronoun badge. December 2019 my best friend bought me my first binder. And some point before September 2020 I will have come out on my personal Instagram.

9. I don't think I have any regrets. I feel like I shouldn't have any, because everything I have done has brought me here, and I'm happy where I am. Maybe I regret backing out of coming out on Instagram last month, because I was gonna try coming out on 1st of July, but with everything happening I felt like it was a really inappropriate time.

10. My binder is a blue half tank from GC2B. His name is Robbie. I can't be bothered to take a photo!

11. My definite transition goals are to legally change my name and gender (but only when the UK legally recognises non-binary people, until then imma confuse people by having a masculine legal name but being legally recognised as female!) and have a chest reduction. As I said earlier, I'm definitely considering testosterone, but the two effects I definitely want from it are facial hair and a deeper voice, both of which I could probably achieve to an extent without the involvement of T. (I basically have the ability to grow a beard naturally, but I never have because mum's worried about me being bullied or whatever if it gets too much.)

14. I am single and have never been in a relationship. I know, I know, the shock and the horror of a 16 year old having never been in a relationship, but I'm permanently anxious about everything, and I don't develop crushes very often and the last two I've had have been on friends, one of which doesn't live near me and I've never met in person, so.... Yeah, and that means I can't really say whether people knowing I'm trans or not has had any difference in them being attracted to me.

15. Obviously, I'm not completely out right now, but when I do come out I will be quite open about it. There's no real way to be stealth as a non-binary person, so that's not really a possibility. Even on the trans masc side of things, I don't think I'd ever be able to be stealth nor do I really want to be. For one, my transition plans don't exactly allow for it particularly, but also, while being referred to as male is highly preferable to being referred to as female, if I can have control over it, I won't be seen as strictly either.

16. I think I stand with the majority when I say that the only concern I can think of around transitioning is transphobia. Especially with my classmates, because while some of them are amazing (hello the whole five of you here) there's a lot of casual transphobia and explicit mockery of non-binary people at my school. It's one of the reasons I really hope our pride group continues when I start back at Sixth Form in September, because I feel like we could do a lot to combat that.

17. I mean, I guess I basically went over fear of rejection in 16, but I guess I could extend on that by explaining why I don't really mention my dad in regards to all this. Basically, I haven't come out to him about anything regarding my queer identity. This isn't necessarily because of him being explicitly homophobic or transphobic (he's never said anything homophobic ever and seemingly supports my going to pride events), it's mostly because our relationship is somewhat distant. We don't have an awful lot to do with each other outside of sharing interests. And he tends to be averse to anything "new". So, yes, I fear that if I came out to my father about being non-binary he would react by either ignoring it or me or not believing me.

20. September 2016 vs Today, June 2020

21. Something I'm most proud of relating to being trans... ooh! Probably the time I went out for lunch with my mum and my granny (who is basically deaf) and being called "sir" and "young man" by two different waiters while mum went to the toilet. The reason that's such an amazing moment for me is because I was feeling extremely dysphoric about how long my hair was getting, so I wasn't even making any attempt to look at all masculine. 

22. Things that make me euphoric are binding, people saying my name, listening to recordings of my voice (a lot of the time it sounds a lot more androgynous than I expect) and seeing photos of myself in cosplay.

23. Music. Very generic! Um... I have a Spotify playlist of songs to listen to when I feel dysphoric. Speaking of Spotify playlists, most of them are based on ships or characters. My username is seltudoor. I have a rather large record collection and an old record player/radio/cassette player that used to be my dad's that I think is from the 80s. Everything else you know! Classic rock, Sinatra and all that.

24. Freddie Mercury is the love of my life (HA!) and my role model. I have put into words why somewhere on my music blog, but I can't exactly remember. It goes a bit deeper than that he wasn't afraid to be true to himself. I also have an entire post about my trans role model Lou Sullivan that I made last June. In short, he was the first trans man to medically transition as an openly gay man who was also a badass, though I mainly say that because towards the end of his life (he died from AIDS complications) he wrote that, although the medical system didn't recognise him as a gay man, it seemed as though he was going to die like one.

25. Weirdest fact about me. Hmm... not sure I have any weird facts. My bookshelf organisation has two aspects to it that I don't think I've seen anyone else have. I group them by genre and order them by publication date from earliest to latest.

26. Things that cross my mind a lot. The fact that I should really be doing some writing instead of reading another fanfiction or watching another YouTube video that spoils most of Merlin for me. I don't know really.

27. You can win my heart by having a presence that makes me feel like I can happy stim in front of you whilst we watch something together, by accepting the fact that you will probably come second to my fandoms/obsessions a lot of the time, by allowing me to be touchy and clingy at random moments for often a long period of time, by not judging that I can't do "normal everyday things" and helping me with them and by being weird. 

28. My mum, @maestrowave​, @in3ffable-husbands​, @fandom-0bsession​ and everyone else in my active group chats on Instagram, @britpop-bowie​, @esperata​ and some other people.

29. I don't know what I'm most scared of. 

30. I think I'm mostly happy. I have great friends, my education is probably headed in a direction that will allow me to progress into an industry I've wanted to work in since I was 9 and in two years' time I will hopefully be at uni and able to experiment with my transition without worrying about what my parents think.

[agreste-image]

The Positive And The Negative

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / MAYBE 

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. 

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK.

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. - Personally, I believe he is a lot of time because people focus on Ladybug more, but usually people are pretty good about it.

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE A PROTAG

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. 

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL -

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?  Not super strictly. There’s some fandom ideas that I like to use that the show touches on or doesn’t explain, and I feel that the fandom has a few ideas that are better than canon, lol

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka: try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —  Rich? Check. Model? Check. Superhero? Check. But honestly, those three things are just bits of what makes Adrien interesting- he’s a teen fascinated by his superhero partner and, honestly, the world. He’s eager to speak to people from all walks of life and to help them in whatever way he can, if they need it. And if they’re from another dimension? That’s just more to discuss with who he hopes will be a new friend.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —   Those first three reasons I listed above? Yeah. That’s totally some reasons to be wary- I mean, come on. Definitely gives off some spoiled bored rich kid vibes. He’s a model that everyone loves, as well, and don’t even get me started on how trusting he is of others, even when he shouldn’t be- especially when he shouldn’t be. If you didn’t watch the show and didn’t have more context than what I’ve written here for his character, you’d roll your eyes and ignore him- another Gary Stu character.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   Rewatching Miraculous Ladybug made me realize I have been in many situations similar to Adrien, and was curious as to how these similarities would effect interactions in the Tumblr multiverse and would affect his life further in the future. I also just really love Adrien Agreste.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   The continued interactions with other blogs, and talking to their muns OOC. 

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO - I come up with a lot of ideas but don’t generally write them out.

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO - Given Adrien’s on Tumblr, I do have to think about it to some degree- but I think about a lot of my muses allllll the time.

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? 

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A BIT.

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO / SORT OF

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   I haven’t received any criticism about it, so I don’t know if I would. Based on past times, though, no- I tend to take criticism very hard because of those experiences, even if it’s a very small thing. 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes YES YES

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? — Yeah, I think it’s interesting most of the time! Usually I can see where they’re coming from.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   — Well, to each their own, I guess.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? — Why are you here if you hate my character??????

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   — Listen. I dunk on myself for typos and whatnot all the time. I said ‘me oo’ the other night trying to tell someone I’d enjoyed a gaming session as well. You can point it out to me, or just correct it in the post.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? —  I think I’m very easygoing for a Tumblr mun in this day and age, but I could be wrong! 

Tagged by @eris-the-phantom-thief

Tagging : @dilutedaspirations / @theheartmuncher , @nobodyslyre, @embellishedbookworm , @mdcreatrice , @thelightissilenced and anyone that reads this and wants to do it!

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

How to stay motivated.

Welcome my loves, to the first-ever FanFic Fridays post. 

I’m kicking this one off with something I’ve been asked a lot in my years writing. A lot of people seem to have the same question or problem so I figured it was a good way to start this new series.

I’ve been asked more than a few times how to stay motivated writing a fic, more so when you’re taking requests. Now I’m not talking writer's block here, although some tips do apply. If anyone wants my tips on writer's block, let me know and I’ll cover it another time. But this is purely about when you’re just not motivated with a fic or requests. Either multi chap or one-shots.

Who are you writing for?

The first step is simple. You need to have a real good think about who you’re writing for, because if you're writing for anyone other than yourself and your own enjoyment, let me tell you, its gonna get old real fucking fast.

You have to enjoy what you're writing. That's the only way it will inspire you to write. Don't get me wrong, we do write for the readers too, especially with one-shots that are requested like me. But what I learnt was, I can't sit there and force myself to write something just because somebody wants it. 

I’ll end up staring at a blank document for hours until I painfully churn something out that's a pile of shit. And nobody wants that. I have a billion requests in my ask box that have sat there for ages. It doesn't mean I won't write them, it just means I’ll write them when the inspiration grabs me. 

My best work happens when I’m really into something, when I can't help but keep typing and get it all down.

If your sole motivation for writing is to get likes and follows, you’ll burn yourself out within a blink of an eye. You have to want to write and love the topic you write about for it to work well, if you want to put out good content. Sometimes, likes and reviews are scarce, and if that's the only reason you write, to please others, then you’ll find yourself wanting to give up. Those of us who write for our own enjoyment will continue to write and post because that's not the only reason why we are doing it.

This doesn't mean we don't love when a reader lets us know they enjoyed our work. We fanfic writers love that shit. it lets us know what things are a hit, and who doesn't love it when you spend time making something and people let you know it was awesome? 

The difference is though, even though we enjoy and appreciate it, that isn't our sole motivation to write. We would still write regardless of that and continue to post our work.

If you do write for yourself, once you have completed it and decide to post it, the readers will most likely go nuts for it. It will be clear you poured your soul into the work, and its because you loved it so much. 

If you’re unsure whether you write for yourself or not, here's a little exercise that could help. Write a fic, the amount of chapters is up to you. But don’t post it until it is fully written and complete. With no feedback or likes to keep you going, you’ll have to keep going with it until it's done off your own back. Then you can post it and reap the rewards and you have written it completely for your own enjoyment. This is exactly what I did with Such a Softer Sin, and let me tell you, it was the best thing I ever did.

Doing this first step ensures that you’re more likely to be motivated to write. This will eliminate a lot of the feelings of demotivation that creep up on you.

Niche

Another simple thing is to have a good think about what kind of things within fics you enjoy writing. By this, I mean your little niche in the fandom. For example, I love writing AU’s or things set before the movies or show. When it comes to writing canon, I fucking loathe it. The times I do write canon, I try and do canon divergent to keep it somewhat more interesting for me. Whenever I try to write strictly canon, the motivation gets sucked out of me quicker than me slurping on a milkshake from McDonald’s. And let me tell you, I slurp real fucking fast.

Figure out what kind of things you like writing. Maybe you love canon, maybe you love AU’s or pre-show/movies. The beauty of writing your own fics is the fact you can do whatever the fuck you want with them. Don't force yourself to write something if you don't enjoy that style. 

Pantser or plotter?

Similar to above, figuring out which way you like to write can really help keep you motivated. You could be writing the way you find isn't for you and that's why you’re struggling. A plotter is self-explanatory. It's a writer that plots out the story. Some plotters are intense, planning out every detail and character before they write, others only minor plotting. A pantser is someone who free writes, this is me. Free writing for those who might not now, is writing with no plot. I literally open my document and type randomly, it feeds off itself. One chapter would roll into more inspiration for the next and so on. My muses are in my head and it's like I’m watching a movie in my mind. I just type it out for you all. I really feel like I’m not in control of my fics and half the time, I’m just as shocked as my readers are with what comes out. Or maybe I’m just crazy? 

The point of me telling you this is; When I started, I tried to plot. Oh, how I fucking tried. But it didn't work for me. I lost motivation quickly and I’m a pantser by nature. So more than half the time my chapters would end up in the opposite direction as I planned and then I got stuck, trying to figure out how to get it back on track and I’d just give up. I didn’t even know free writing was a thing. I thought you had to plot things out, that it was the only way to write well. And I was wrong.

Give both a go and see what feels right for you. I’m a pantser for life. I would get the briefest idea for a fic and start typing, the rest comes as I type. Its more fun for me that way. I feel like a reader too, getting the experience of not knowing what's going to happen next. 

There's nothing wrong with being a plotter though, it’s all about personal preference. One is not superior to another. Maybe you’re a super organised person, plotting keeps you on track. Maybe you even enjoy mapping it all out. Just take a moment to try both types and see what you enjoy the most. Then you’ll know what your writing style is and you can go from there. The more you enjoy it, the more motivated you will be and the better your fics will be. Win-win.

Now of course sometimes, you might love a fic. You’re really into it, but then bam, the spark’s gone and you have no idea what the fuck happened. Now you have a half-finished fic and if you’ve already started posting it, people waiting for an update.

Under Pressure

First off, don't ever feel pressured to post an update, even if people are bugging you about it. Like I mentioned before, if you force it out of yourself to please others, you're more than likely going to be unhappy with the result. Taking a break can be a good thing. Take a step back from the fic, maybe even work on another. Having a breather and coming back with fresh eyes can be super useful and there's no shame in needing a break from a fic. 

The exercise above is honestly a really good tool to use anyway. When I started writing multi chaps, I would write a chapter and post it right away. This can give you so much stress and pressure. Whenever I would hit a wall or the motivation went away, I had people asking about updates and I started to get stressed. Then I wouldn't be able to write at all. Now, I tend to either finish the fic, or at least be more than 5 chapters ahead of what I’m posting. This way, even if you do lag behind with writing, you have something to post and it will ease the pressure.

My preference is to finish the fic completely. Then I get to post every day without worry and I’m not playing catch up, trying to write quickly and rushing to get it posted. Now you’re all thinking, ‘But Sarah, aren’t you posting Let The Flames Begin as you go?’ Yes, I am. Why? Because I’m an idiot  :’)

I posted the first chapter. It came to me and I wanted to know if it was worth making into something. Usually, I’d just write it anyway and save it for a rainy day. But I have that many stories on the go, I didn't know if it was worth taking my time with. People liked it and as I started writing it, I fucking fell so in love with the story that now I can't stop writing it. 

I am in front though by around 10 chapters, so I’m not too worried about catching up. To me, that's plenty of chapters ahead to make sure if I do hit a wall, I won't feel pressured or worried about it. All my other fics I’m working on though won’t be posted until they’re complete.

Thinking ahead like this can really ease that pressure and in my opinion, that really helps you write better and stay motivated.

Fall in love again

Sometimes, it might be useful to try and remember what you liked about your fic in the first place. Maybe rewatch the movie or show, even read other peoples fics to get you back in the groove. Read your own fic from the very beginning and pick out the parts you liked best and why you liked them. Maybe the last chapter just ran away with itself and it went into a direction you really didn't expect or like. It happens to me all the time. Sit down and see if there's a way you can work around it and bring it back to the place you wanted it to be, or if all else fails, delete the chapter and rewrite it the way you wished you had in the first place.

Closing requests

Now this one is more specific to one-shot writers who take requests. Don't feel bad if you have to close your requests for a little while to catch up. Feeling overwhelmed can make you lose motivation real fucking quick. I don't know about you guys, but I can't write under pressure. It mounts up and my brain just melts and then I can't write a fucking thing. Close requests, catch up, take a minute to breathe. Sometimes, something as simple as taking the pressure off can be really freeing for your mind and get you back into it.

Write when it feels right

Also, don't feel like you have to write them in the order people sent you. People might not think this is fair but they need to see it from the writers POV. I have some requests that are over a year old, my brain just hasn't been inspired to write them. Yet someone could send me a request today that makes my brain get excited and I have to write it. Sometimes once I’ve got in the swing of it, I end up finishing multiple requests when I write this way. There is no need to try and get to them in order like that. If some don't inspire you, just wait until they do and write another. 

Plot bunnies 4eva

This one applies to both multi chap and one-shot writers and something you guys know I do all the fucking time. If you’re stuck and need a break from one thing, feel free to start another. Am I enabling you to make those plot bunnies grow? Why yes, I am. But there's a reason. 

When I get stuck on a fic, I’ll put it away for a bit and work on another idea I had. This gives me plenty to work on. So whenever I get stuck on something, I just jump to another that's inspiring me. Writing something new can really get you back into writing again and its better than not writing at all. It gets your creative juices flowing and you might find yourself going back to the fic you're stuck on with new ideas.

On the same note, sometimes you might get this super cool idea for the person you’re writing about. And you cram it in your current fic but it’s just not fucking working. Now your story is all weird and you don't like it and it’s making you not want to continue with it. Take that idea and make a new fic with it. Sometimes I get ideas for Daryl and I try them out in my fic, but it just doesn't gel with what’s already going on or the OC in the story. It doesn't make sense to try and stick an idea in there that doesn't fit and feels out of place. But that doesn't mean you have to throw it away. Just use it for another story and see where it leads.

Breaks don't equal quitting

There's nothing wrong with taking a break from writing altogether. If its all gotten too much or you have no motivation at all for anything. Maybe, like me, you have mental health issues and you just need a good breather. That's perfectly fine and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

Those who have followed me for a while might remember that I went on a hiatus for over a year at one point. My mental health reached an all-time low and I couldn't keep up with requests. I put so much pressure on myself and it made me worse, and in the end, I had to take a step back altogether.

At one point I thought that was it. I thought my love for writing fanfics was over and I was gutted. And then randomly one day, an idea popped into my head. The simplest of thoughts about an OC meeting the boys from Boondock Saints. My idea was just that I wanted a girl to come into McGinty's out of the rain, and that's where she meets the boys. That was it, the smallest of ideas. The rest came to me as I started writing and before I knew it, I couldn't stop. I wrote 39 chapters of that one, Such a Softer Sin, and then I even did a sequel. 

Don't feel like a break means quitting forever or that you’ll never be inspired to write again. After writing that fic, I haven't stopped writing again and I’m more in love with writing than I’ve ever been. Sometimes you just need to recharge your batteries again and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

I hope some of these tips are helpful to you guys. You don't have to listen to me of course, all of this is just my opinion and personal experience. If you have any questions or a problem, feel free to talk to me any way you feel like and I’ll get to it on FanFic Fridays! :)

Much love,

Sarah

[officialthiamlibrary]

Hello! Hello! So excited to share another fantastic creator this time on BTS. Thanks to everyone who’s given this series love and interest. It’s because of you that we keep highlighting the lovely talent in this fandom and today, is no exception. The writer of Compared to the Moon, Six/Seven, and more, parttimehuman, somehow stumbled into our ship and we’re damn happy she’s decided to stay haha. Read on to learn more about her.

Mercy! Ayyy, thanks for letting me besiege you with questions lol. Since the Thiam fandom is quite familiar with one another by now, any facts about you or your life that we’d be surprised to know?

I have a bachelor degree in financial mathematics. (Although I’m not sure how surprising that is.)

That’s wild, mostly because I can’t imagine beasting through an entire degree of math alone. Completely random, but I doubt I’ll have a chance to ask this again. In Shows/Movies, when the characters are in Math class and answering questions on the board, have you ever looked at their solution and thought, “wrong.” I always wondered if those were accurate.

Bold of you to assume that I still know high school math just because I’ve studied the more advanced stuff. Still, it has happened, yeah.

Ahh, touche, touche. Why don’t we actually talk about Teen Wolf and Thiam now lol. How did you find your way to the Thiam fandom? What about them drew you in?

It was a long and not very easy way, to be honest. I think I didn’t get beyond the pilot episode of Teen Wolf until the third try. I had over a month of free time after I graduated from uni, so naturally, I was bored. I finally watched all seasons. Thiam as a ship? Yeah, I’m not going to pretend like it was anything other than Cody Christian’s sexy ass that made that happen. And Theo’s heart-eyes for Liam in 6b of course. I wrote two fics, didn’t mean to stick around for long, and then I was invited to a certain Discord…

What do you think changed between your first time watching and your third?

You want me to be really honest? I had more time, was a little more bored out, had less other options. That’s about it.

Alol nothing but the truth here. Well, now that you’ve fully accepted the TW lifestyle, how would you put your own touches on a Season 7 spin off. What would be your very first scene and very last scene of the pilot episode? As an artist, how would you put your personal touch on those two scenes?

The first scene would be a steamy face-punching/make-out session between Liam and Theo. With proper lighting. Brett would be alive. Liam would look exactly like Dylan Sprayberry does. The last scene would be Theo falling asleep in an actual bed. With Liam’s arms wrapped around him. And forehead kisses. There would be a fist bump somewhere in that episode. And probably a lacrosse game. It would basically be an AU where it never gets dark because we all deserve to see properly after 6 seasons of TW.

“Proper Lighting,” *Slow Clap.* Honestly, we are owed that at this point. As a creator, do you only write Thiam? Any other fandoms or Pairings? Novels or Stories with Original Characters?

No. Actually, I believe these days I write slightly more for other pairings from Teen Wolf. I also have a longfic for another fandom in the works (The Raven Cycle). I will probably write a novel one day, I have quite a collection with abandoned attempts, actually. Apart from that, just like I do in the Thiam pack, I like to write my friends from real life little stories. I guess none of my characters are truly original, strictly speaking, because they’re always either borrowed from a fandom or I insert people I personally know in my stories.

Yessss! Just started the Raven Thieves and it’s my everything. Of all your stories, what’s been your favorite(s) to write or reread thus far?

Compared to the Moon. If I were to make a list here, the 26 chapters of Compared would be the first 26 points on it. After that I’d put My Sister’s Keeper, although it had me crying like a baby. As for smut, I’d say The Hot Cop Showdown, which is about Theo and Liam both turning up at a bachelor party in a police uniform, only that one of them’s an actual police officer, and one’s a stripper. The fun in that was that I wrote it live for a bunch of people who were guessing who was who, and I made my decision completely spontaneously.

Yass let’s definitely talk Compared to the Moon quickly because the worldbuilding is quite intriguing. First, for anyone unfamiliar could you offer a quick summary? How did you come up with what colors corresponds with an emotion? On an average day, what would your color undertone be?

Compared to the Moon is a High School AU where everyone is human, with the little bonus that people show their emotions as colors beneath their skin. While Liam, captain of the lacrosse team, bears a quite prominent red mark in his neck and back and is generally unable to control his colors, Theo, who’s new in school and the lacrosse team, doesn’t have any. They get off on the wrong foot, become roommates, fall in love. There’s a whole lot of drama. And a happy ending, but they do have to work a lot for it.

The idea to that fic came from a drunken conversation with my best friend who doesn’t give a single shit about Teen Wolf or my fics, but the thought had stuck with me. I did a bit of research on the meaning of different colors, but as I continued writing it, I more and more decided to not pay too much attention to that. One of the messages I wanted to convey was to not judge a book by its cover, which, of course, happens a lot in a world where people carry their emotions right under their skin. But the point is that you still never know. What exactly does Liam’s red stand for? Anger? Aggression? Pain? Blood? Or maybe passion? Leadership? Courage? Love?

And what does it mean that Theo doesn’t show them? Is he any less of a human being because of that? Does he not feel?

By the time I got towards the ending of the story, I’d realized that I didn’t want to answer any of these questions. And even if I had wanted to, I couldn’t have.

As for me, I feel like I’d be a little more blue and a little more yellow than I’d be other colors, for reasons I cannot explain.

That’s honestly lovely, especially since each color has a myriad of hues and therefore meanings. Including Compared to the Moon, would you say there’s one trope weaving your stories together?

Probably some form of bed sharing/sleeping together/cuddling. One of them watching the other. Someone who’s usually kept awake by nightmares finally getting some rest. Lazy mornings in bed together. Hand holding. Eskimo kisses. Innocent touches. Just a whole lot of vulnerability and trust and softness.

And I remember reading way back when (like Truth or Chimera haha) days that you write all of your stories by hand. Can you go into your writing process a little? Do you still keep everything you’ve written?

I don’t do that anymore. I write my notes per hand, also sometimes a few lines or ideas, but that’s about it. I’ve published around 600k words in the last year, so at some point I gave it up with the handwriting. I still have all my notes, though, among them the letter Theo wrote to Liam in Compared to the Moon. I’m a notebook hoarder, and I find that there’s a certain aesthetic to handwritten things, but now I mostly just sit in bed with my laptop and a kitty when I write.

Whatttt, live writing!?! How does it feel to write openly like that? Do you think it’s changed the way you create?

I mostly write my smut live. It’s amazing because the people who are following it can throw in their own ideas and make wishes. Many times that’s resulted in me taking a story into directions I wouldn’t have thought of myself. It’s a challenge, because you have to let go of the idea of changing something you’ve already written. Ultimately, I do it because the pressure of people literally waiting for the next sentence gets me to actually sit my ass down and type words.

I think it’s made me more spontaneous and more open to the idea of going into unknown directions. Most of the time, I have no idea what I want to write when I start writing it. But I’ve definitely learned not to stress myself about that. Some of the best things happen while live writing. By the way, almost all of Six and Seven has been written live.

Ok, it’s got to be asked lol. Six and Seven. How?! How do you write such steamy scenes and still retain the essence of the characters. Any writing wisdom to impart for writers who want to improve their smut skills?

This is a tough question, because if I’m being honest, I think the least about what I’m doing when I’m writing smut. I just go with it. I think a few good things to keep in mind are these: Call a dick a dick. Please and thank you. Consent is sexy, safe sex is sexy. There is no such thing as too much lube. Bananas and sex should never be combined. Communication is key. Literally. Dirty talk is the absolute best thing a smut writer can do, if you ask me. Them talking about their likes and preferences? Hot! One of them making the other ask for what they need? Hot! A nickname, a “Sir”, a praise, some begging? Hot, hot, hot, hot.

Other than that, one thing I really want to say here: Forget about who tops and bottoms. That is literally the least important decision to make. It doesn’t even cross my mind when I start writing a story. It also doesn’t have anything to do with who’s the taller or stronger one, or who’s the dominant one, or more experienced. That’s all bullshit.

Apart from that, your kinks are valid. Write the fucking hell out of them, seriously.

Everything. Everything about this is the best. I’m so tempted to say, “Introducing Behind the Screen with parttimehuman!” without the wrap of questions because of how helpful your advice is lol. I suppose, one final random question before we close up: If you were in a Breakfast Club detention situation with five characters from Teen Wolf, who would give you the wildest, most satisfying day. Who would be your teacher? And what’s one thing the six of you would end up doing?

I feel like Liam and Theo would be there, probably because they started punching each other in the middle of class. Stiles seems like the most likely one to have annoyed a teacher into giving him detention. Malia is there for skipping maths too many times. And Isaac. Nobody knows how exactly he ended up there, but everyone’s pretty appreciative of his sarcastic comments. We’d pass the time discussing conspiracy theories about what the hell is wrong with Beacon Hills. Coach Bobby Finstock would let us go early, because remember, Stiles is canonically like a son to him. And Daddy Finstock just can’t say no to his chaotic favorite boy.

Hahaha, Daddy Finstock. Finally, what’s next for you? In life or fandom or both?

In life? If only I knew. I might leave my home town (again) and go to uni (again), but I generally enjoy having no plan.

In fandom? A fucking lot. The Big Bang is getting closer and I am thrilled. I’m working on a whole list of other things, as always. Then there’s a special project that is for now a secret, a couple of awesome people will celebrate their birthdays soon, and Christmas presents are in the works. The Snow White AU will finally break some hearts soon. In case anybody reading this is still waiting for something, I swear that if I made you a promise, then I have it on a sticky note somewhere. Don’t give up on me! Prompts are always welcome (just don’t make me write angst).

And anything else you’d like to share?

If there’s anything I’d like to share, then it’s encouragement. From one introverted fandom lunatic to all the others out there. Never feel weird for loving something. Never feel ashamed of being passionate about what you love. Never let anybody stop you from obsessing over a character, or a ship, or a show, or whatever thing. Write that fic you think nobody will want to read. Draw the thing that’s been in your head forever. Share your love. There are more people out there waiting for exactly that thing to exist than you think. Write that comment, share your obsessions, never feel afraid to reach out. As for the Thiam fandom, some of the kindest people you will ever meet are in there.

My inbox is always open. For anybody.

On a proper cyclical endnote, Behind the Screens presents Mercy to you! You know what I’m going to say: the conversation doesn’t stop here. Meet her at these places:

Main Tumblr: flyde

Inbox/Ask: flyde  ask

AO3: parttimehuman 

Thank you for letting us get to know more about you! And thank you all for reading and requesting her. As always, if you have a Thiam Creator that you fan over, send us their names. Likewise, if you as the creator, would like to be a part of the Behind the Screens series, give us a shout too! We’d love to get to know you, as well.

@flyde

[vintagegeekculture]

Dead Fandoms, Part 3

Read Part One of Dead Fandoms here. 

Read Part Two of Dead Fandoms here. 

Before we continue, I want to add the usual caveat that I actually don’t want to be right about these fandoms being dead. I like enthusiasm and energy and it’s a shame to see it vanish.

Mists of Avalon

Remember that period of time of about 15 years, where absolutely everybody read this book and was obsessed with it? It could not have been bigger, and the fandom was Anne Rice huge, overlapping for several years with USENET and the early World Wide Web…but it’s since petered out. 

Mists of Avalon’s popularity may be due to the most excellent case of hitting a demographic sweet spot ever. The book was a feminist retelling of the Arthurian Mythos where Morgan Le Fay is the main character, a pagan from matriarchal goddess religions who is fighting against encroaching Christianity and patriarchal forms of society coming in with it. Also, it made Lancelot bisexual and his conflict is how torn he is about his attraction to both Arthur and Guinevere.

Remember, this novel came out in 1983 – talk about being ahead of your time! If it came out today, the reaction from a certain corner would be something like “it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that tumblr is at it again.”

Man, demographically speaking, that’s called “nailing it.” It used to be one of the favorite books of the kind of person who’s bookshelf is dominated by fantasy novels about outspoken, fiery-tongued redheaded women, who dream of someday moving to Scotland, who love Enya music and Kate Bush, who sell homemade needlepoint stuff on etsy, who consider their religious beliefs neo-pagan or wicca, and who have like 15 cats, three of which are named Isis, Hypatia, and Morrigan.

This type of person is still with us, so why did this novel fade in popularity? There’s actually a single hideous reason: after her death around 2001, facts came out that Marion Zimmer Bradley abused her daughters sexually. Even when she was alive, she was known for defending and enabling a known child abuser, her husband, Walter Breen. To say people see your work differently after something like this is an understatement – especially if your identity is built around being a progressive and feminist author.

Robotech

I try to break up my sections on dead fandoms into three parts: first, I explain the property, then explain why it found a devoted audience, and finally, I explain why that fan devotion and community went away. Well, in the case of Robotech, I can do all three with a single sentence: it was the first boy pilot/giant robot Japanimation series that shot for an older, teenage audience to be widely released in the West. Robotech found an audience when it was the only true anime to be widely available, and lost it when became just another import anime show. In the days of Crunchyroll, it’s really hard to explain what made Robotech so special, because it means describing a different world.

Try to imagine what it was like in 1986 for Japanime fans: there were barely any video imports, and if you wanted a series, you usually had to trade tapes at your local basement club (they were so precious they couldn’t even be sold, only traded). If you were lucky, you were given a script to translate what you were watching. Robotech though, was on every day, usually after school. You want an action figure? Well, you could buy a Robotech Valkyrie or a Minmei figure at your local corner FAO Schwartz. 

However, the very strategy that led to it getting syndicated is the very reason it was later vilified by the purists who emerged when anime became a widespread cultural force: strictly speaking, there actually is no show called “Robotech.” Since Japanese shows tend to be short run, say, 50-60 episodes, it fell well under the 80-100 episode mark needed for syndication in the US. The producer of Harmony Gold, Carl Macek, had a solution: he’d cut three unrelated but similar looking series together into one, called “Robotech.” The shows looked very similar, had similar love triangles, used similar tropes, and even had little references to each other, so the fit was natural. It led to Robotech becoming a weekday afternoon staple with a strong fandom who called themselves “Protoculture Addicts.” There were conventions entirely devoted to Robotech. The supposed shower scene where Minmei was bare-breasted was the barely whispered stuff of pervert legend in pre-internet days. And the tie in novels, written with the entirely western/Harmony Gold conception of the series and which continued the story, were actually surprisingly readable.

The final nail in the coffin of Robotech fandom was the rise of Sailor Moon, Toonami, Dragonball, and yes, Pokemon (like MC Hammer’s role in popularizing hip hop, Pokemon is often written out of its role in creating an audience for the next wave of cartoon imports out of insecurity). Anime popularity in the West can be defined as not a continuing unbroken chain like scifi book fandom is, but as an unrelated series of waves, like multiple ancient ruins buried on top of each other (Robotech was the vanguard of the third wave, as Anime historians reckon); Robotech’s wave was subsumed by the next, which had different priorities and different “core texts.” Pikachu did what the Zentraedi and Invid couldn’t do: they destroyed the SDF-1.

Legion of Super-Heroes

Legion of Superheroes was comic set in the distant future that combined superheroes with space opera, with a visual aesthetic that can best be described as “Star Trek: the Motion Picture, if it was set in a disco.” 

I’ve heard wrestling described as “a soap opera for men.” If that’s the case, then Legion of Super-Heroes was a soap opera for nerds. The book is about attractive 20-somethings who seem to hook up all the time. As a result, it had a large female fanbase, which, I cannot stress enough, is incredibly unusual for this era in comics history. And if you have female fans, you get a lot of shipping and slashfic, and lots of speculation over which of the boy characters in the series is gay. The fanon answer is Element Lad, because he wore magenta-pink and never had a girlfriend. (Can’t argue with bulletproof logic like that.) In other words, it was a 1970s-80s fandom that felt much more “modern” than the more right-brained, bloodless, often anal scifi fandoms that existed around the same time, where letters pages were just nitpicking science errors by model train and elevator enthusiasts.

Legion Headquarters seemed to be a rabbit fuck den built around a supercomputer and Danger Room. Cosmic Boy dressed like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror. There’s one member, Duo Damsel, who can turn into two people, a power that, in the words of Legion writer Jim Shooter, was “useful for weird sex...and not much else.”

LSH was popular because the fans were insanely horny. This is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the thirstiest fandom of all time.  You might think I’m overselling this, but I really think that’s an under-analyzed part of how some kinds of fiction build a devoted fanbase.  

For example, a big reason for the success of Mass Effect is that everyone has a favorite girl or boy, and you have the option to romance them. Likewise, everyone who was a fan of Legion remembers having a crush. Sardonic Ultra Boy for some reason was a favorite among gay male nerds (aka the Robert Conrad Effect). Tall, blonde, amazonian telepath Saturn Girl, maybe the first female team leader in comics history, is for the guys with backbone who prefer Veronica over Betty. Shrinking Violet was a cute Audrey Hepburn type. And don’t forget Shadow Lass, who was a blue skinned alien babe with pointed ears and is heavily implied to have an accent (she was Aayla Secura before Aayla Secura was Aayla Secura). Light Lass was commonly believed to be “coded lesbian” because of a short haircut and her relationships with men didn’t work out. The point is, it’s one thing to read about the adventures of a superteam, and it implies a totally different level of mental and emotional involvement to read the adventures of your imaginary girlfriend/boyfriend.  

Now, I should point out that of all the fandoms I’ve examined here, LSH was maybe the smallest. Legion was never a top seller, but it was a favorite of the most devoted of fans who kept it alive all through the seventies and eighties with an energy and intensity disproportionate to their actual numbers. My gosh, were LSH fans devoted! Interlac and Legion Outpost were two Legion fanzines that are some of the most famous fanzines in comics history.

If nerd culture fandoms were drugs, Star Wars would be alcohol, Doctor Who would be weed, but Legion of Super-Heroes would be injecting heroin directly into your eyeballs. Maybe it is because the Legionnaires were nerdy, too: they played Dungeons and Dragons in their off time (an escape, no doubt, from their humdrum, mundane lives as galaxy-rescuing superheroes). There were sometimes call outs to Monty Python. Basically, the whole thing had a feel like the dorkily earnest skits or filk-singing at a con. Legion felt like it’s own fan series, guest starring Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day.

It helped that the boundary between fandom and professional was incredibly porous. For instance, pro-artist Dave Cockrum did covers for Legion fanzines. Former Legion APA members Todd and Mary Biernbaum got a chance to actually write Legion, where, with the gusto of former slashfic writers given the keys to canon, their major contribution was a subplot that explicitly made Element Lad gay. Mike Grell, a professional artist who got paid to work on the series, did vaguely porno-ish fan art. Again, it’s hard to tell where the pros started and the fandom ended; the inmates were running the asylum.

Mostly, Legion earned this devotion because it could reward it in a way no other comic could. Because Legion was not a wide market comic but was bought by a core audience, after a point, there were no self-contained one-and-done Legion stories. In fact, there weren’t even really arcs as we know it, which is why Legion always has problems getting reprinted in trade form. Legion was plotted like a daytime soap opera: there were always five different stories going on in every issue, and a comic involved cutting between them. Sure, like daytime soap operas, there’s never a beginning, just endless middles, so it was totally impossible for a newbie to jump on board...but soap operas know what they are doing: long term storytelling rewards a long term reader.

This brings me to today, where Legion is no longer being published by DC. There is no discussion about a movie or TV revival. This is amazing. Comics are a world where the tiniest nerd groups get pandered to: Micronauts, Weirdworld, Seeker 3000, and Rom have had revival series, for pete’s sake. It’s incredible there’s no discussion of a film or TV treatment, either; friggin Cyborg from New Teen Titans is getting a solo movie. 

Why did Legion stop being such a big deal? Where did the fandom that supported it dissolve to? One word: X-Men. Legion was incredibly ahead of its time. In the 60s and 70s, there were barely any “fan” comics, since superhero comics were like animation is today: mostly aimed at kids, with a minority of discerning adult/teen fans, and it was success among kids, not fans, that led to something being a top seller (hence, “fan favorites” in the 1970s, as surprising as it is to us today, often did not get a lot of work, like Don MacGregor or Barry Smith). But as newsstands started to push comics out, the fan audience started to get bigger and more important…everyone else started to catch up to the things that made Legion unique: most comics started to have attractive people who paired up into couples and/or love triangles, and featured extremely byzantine long term storytelling. If Legion of Super-Heroes is going to be remembered for anything, it’s for being the smaller scale “John the Baptist” to the phenomenon of X-Men, the ultimate “fan” comic.

The other thing that killed Legion, apart from Marvel’s Merry Mutants, that is, was the r-word: reboots. A reboot only works for some properties, but not others. You reboot something when you want to find something for a mass audience to respond to, like with Zorro, Batman, or Godzilla.

Legion, though, was not a comic for everybody, it was a fanboy/girl comic beloved by a niche who read it for continuing stories and minutiae (and to jack off, and in some cases, jill off). Rebooting a comic like that is a bad idea. You do not reboot something where the main way you engage with the property, the greatest strength, is the accumulated lore and history. Rebooting a property like that means losing the reason people like it, and unless it’s something with a wide audience, you only lose fans and won’t get anything in return for it. So for something like Legion (small fandom obsessed with long form plots and details, but unlike Trek, no name recognition) a reboot is the ultimate Achilles heel that shatters everything, a self-destruct button they kept hitting over and over and over until there was nothing at all left.

E. E. Smith’s Lensman Novels

The Lensman series is like Gil Evans’s jazz: it’s your grandparents’ favorite thing that you’ve never heard of. 

I mean, have you ever wondered exactly what scifi fandom talked about before the rise of the major core texts and cultural objects (Star Trek, Asimov, etc)? Well, it was this. Lensmen was the subject of fanfiction mailed in manilla envelopes during the 30s, 40s, and 50s (some of which are still around). If you’re from Boston, you might recognize that the two biggest and oldest scifi cons there going back to the 1940s, Boskone (Boscon, get it?) and Arisia, are references to the Lensman series. This series not only created space opera as we know it, but contributed two of the biggest visuals in scifi, the interstellar police drawn from different alien species, and space marines in power armor.

My favorite sign of how big this series was and how fans responded to it, was a great wedding held at Worldcon that duplicated Kimball Kinnison and Clarissa’s wedding on Klovia. This is adorable:

The basic story is pure good vs. evil: galactic civilization faces a crime and piracy wave of unprecedented proportions from technologically advanced pirates (the memory of Prohibition, where criminals had superior firearms and faster cars than the cops, was strong by the mid-1930s). A young officer, Kimball Kinnison (who speaks in a Stan Lee esque style of dialogue known as “mid-century American wiseass”), graduates the academy and is granted a Lens, an object from an ancient mystery civilization, who’s true purpose is unknown.

Lensman Kinnison discovers that the “crime wave” is actually a hostile invasion and assault by a totally alien culture that is based on hierarchy, intolerant of failure, and at the highest level, is ruled by horrifying nightmare things that breathe freezing poison gases. Along the way, he picks up allies, like van Buskirk, a variant human space marine from a heavy gravity planet who can do a standing jump of 20 feet in full space armor, Worsel, a telepathic dragon warrior scientist with the technical improvisation skills of MacGyver (who reads like the most sadistically minmaxed munchkinized RPG character of all time), and Nandreck, a psychologist from a Pluto-like planet of selfish cowards.

The scale of the conflict starts small, just skirmishes with pirates, but explodes to near apocalyptic dimensions. This series has space battles with millions of starships emerging from hyperspacial tubes to attack the ultragood Arisians, homeworld of the first intelligent race in the cosmos. By the end of the fourth book, there are mind battles where the reflected and parried mental beams leave hundreds of innocent bystanders dead. In the meantime we get evil Black Lensmen, the Hell Hole in Space, and superweapons like the Negasphere and the Sunbeam, where an entire solar system was turned into a vacuum tube.

It’s not hard to understand why Lensmen faded in importance. While the alien Lensmen had lively psychologies, Lensman Kimball Kinnison was not an interesting person, and that’s a problem when scifi starts to become more about characterization. The Lensman books, with their love of police and their sexism (it is an explicit plot point that the Lens is incompatible with female minds – in canon there are no female Lensmen) led to it being judged harshly by the New Wave writers of the 1960s, who viewed it all as borderline fascist military-scifi establishment hokum, and the reputation of the series never recovered from the spirit of that decade.

Prisoner of Zenda

Prisoner of Zenda is a novel about a roguish con-man who visits a postage-stamp, charmingly picturesque Central European kingdom with storybook castles, where he finds he looks just like the local king and is forced to pose as him in palace intrigues. It’s a swashbuckling story about mistaken identity, swordfighting, and intrigue, one part swashbuckler and one part dark political thriller.

The popularity of this book predates organized fandom as we know it, so I wonder if “fandom” is even the right word to use. All the same, it inspired fanatical dedication from readers. There was such a popular hunger for it that an entire library could be filled with nothing but rip-offs of Prisoner of Zenda. If you have a favorite writer who was active between 1900-1950, I guarantee he probably wrote at least one Prisoner of Zenda rip-off (which is nearly always the least-read book in his oeuvre). The only novel in the 20th Century that inspired more imitators was Sherlock Holmes. Robert Heinlein and Edmond “Planet Smasher” Hamilton wrote scifi updates of Prisoner of Zenda. Doctor Who lifted the plot wholesale for the Tom Baker era episode, “Androids of Tara,” Futurama did this exact plot too, and even Marvel Comics has its own copy of Ruritania, Doctor Doom’s Kingdom of Latveria. Even as late as the 1980s, every kids’ cartoon did a “Prisoner of Zenda” episode, one of the stock plots alongside “everyone gets hit by a shrink ray” and the Christmas Carol episode.

Prisoner of Zenda imitators were so numerous, that they even have their own Library of Congress sub-heading, of “Ruritanian Romance.” 

One major reason that Prisoner of Zenda fandom died off is that, between World War I and World War II, there was a brutal lack of sympathy for anything that seemed slightly German, and it seems the incredibly Central European Prisoner of Zenda was a casualty of this. Far and away, the largest immigrant group in the United States through the entire 19th Century were Germans, who were more numerous than Irish or Italians. There were entire cities in the Midwest that were two-thirds German-born or German-descent, who met in Biergartens and German community centers that now no longer exist.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote a lot about how the German-American world he grew up in vanished because of the prejudice of the World Wars, and that disappearance was so extensive that it was retroactive, like someone did a DC comic-style continuity reboot where it all never happened: Germans, despite being the largest immigrant group in US history, are left out of the immigrant story. The “Little Bohemias” and “Little Berlins” that were once everywhere no longer exist. There is no holiday dedicated to people of German ancestry in the US, the way the Irish have St. Patrick’s Day or Italians have Columbus Day (there is Von Steuben’s Day, dedicated to a general who fought with George Washington, but it’s a strictly Midwest thing most people outside the region have never heard of, like Sweetest Day). If you’re reading this and you’re an academic, and you’re not sure what to do your dissertation on, try writing about the German-American immigrant world of the 19th and 20th Centuries, because it’s a criminally under-researched topic.

A. Merritt

Pop quiz: who was the most popular and influential fantasy author during the 1930s and 40s? 

If you answered Tolkien or Robert E. Howard, you’re wrong - it was actually Abraham Merritt. He was the most popular writer of his age of the kind of fiction he did, and he’s since been mostly forgotten. Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, has said that A. Merritt was his favorite fantasy and horror novelist.

Why did A. Merritt and his fandom go away, when at one point, he was THE fantasy author? Well, obviously one big answer was the 1960s counterculture, which brought different writers like Tolkien and Lovecraft to the forefront (by modern standards Lovecraft isn’t a fantasy author, but he was produced by the same early century genre-fluid effluvium that produced Merritt and the rest). The other answer is that A. Merritt was so totally a product of the weird occult speculation of his age that it’s hard to even imagine him clicking with audiences in other eras. His work is based on fringe weirdness that appealed to early 20th Century spiritualism and made sense at the time: reincarnation, racial memory, an obsession with lost race stories and the stone age, and weirdness like the 1920s belief that the Polar Arctic is the ancestral home of the Caucasian race. In other words, it’s impossible to explain Merritt without a ton of sentences that start with “well, people in the 1920s thought that...” That’s not a good sign when it comes to his universality. 

That’s it for now. Do you have any suggestions on a dead fandom, or do you keep one of these “dead” fandoms alive in your heart?

[fucking-trashmouth-blog]

Let’s talk about...Wentworth Tozier.

The subject of Richie’s parents is one I’ve been wanting to tackle for a while since I feel like they’re pretty widely misinterpreted. I’m going to start off with Wentworth Tozier, Richie’s dad. (I’ll be talking about Maggie Tozier, Richie’s mom, at some point in another post.) Wentworth is actually one of my favorite characters to appear in the novel in spite of the fact that he only really appears in one chapter. I have a lot of personal headcanons for him which I would love to write up and share with the world someday, and frankly I’ve thought about RPing him, but right now I’m just going to talk about what we see of him in the canon.

But first, let’s get into what I feel a lot of people get wrong about him. Then fandom has a tendency to A: Turn him into a nice and loving parent, or B: Turn him into a literal ogre who beats his son and/or headcanon children and sends them to school with bruises. The latter is more prevalent in the RP community and the former appears more in the fandom in general, and both are 100% not how Wentworth is shown to be in the novel, which is the only source of canon in which he actually makes an appearance.

First off, Wentworth is definitely an asshole to Richie. (It stands to reason he’s probably an asshole to other people too, but we don’t have any examples of him interacting with anyone but Richie, and Maggie to a small degree). I fully respect that people can interpret the same canon differently (That’s one of the things that makes RP so interesting) but I just don’t see that there’s much room to dispute the nature of Wentworth’s character. However, in spite of the fact that he is so obviously horrible to Richie, a lot of people seem to come away with the impression that he’s a good parent/person. I really, really do not understand how this happens, and honestly it’s kind of frustrating to me to see people talking about what a swell guy he is and failing to recognize his abuse of Richie. So I’m just going to break down why Wentworth is definitely not a swell guy real quick by taking a look at what would appear to be a typical morning at the Tozier family breakfast table.

Exhibit #1 of Wentworth Definitely Not Being A Swell Guy

Wentworth repeatedly degrades his son by insulting his interests and calling him stupid.

Exhibit #2 of Wentworth Definitely Not Being A Swell Guy

Wentworth takes advantage of his son by essentially tricking him into agreeing to do more work than he necessarily wanted to do and then proceeds to rip him off by offering to pay him less money for that work than what he paid a couple of kids that weren’t even his own. (And continues to degrade him by calling him stupid/criticizing his interests)

Exhibit #3 of Wentworth Definitely Not Being A Swell Guy

Wentworth’s smug and seemingly apathetic behaviors towards/treatment of his son. He’s now holding Richie’s trip to the movies hostage until Richie agrees to do more chores than he originally wanted to do for less money than he pays somebody else’s kids on a regular basis for doing that same job - to top it off, he’s repeatedly degraded Richie, and appears to be enjoying it. Furthermore - ‘a predatory shark’? Need I say more? Does that look like the kind of description that would be given to a parent who loves their kid?

So hopefully you’re wondering (I know I do) how the flip someone can look at all that and come away thinking Wentworth is a great parent. Honestly, I feel like a lot of people probably get off when they see the bits in the novel talking about how Richie feels about his parents. Richie is shown to love his parents and doesn’t appear to think there’s anything wrong with how his father treats him...

...but at the end of the day, Richie is just a child. His father’s treatment of him causes him to become uncomfortable (Definitely not something you should be making your 11-year-old feel, especially not on purpose) at multiple points during their conversation...

...but Richie doesn’t ever stop to think ‘hey, maybe that shouldn’t be happening, maybe my dad shouldn’t be doing that to me’, because he’s just a kid. And like most kids, he loves his parents and believes he is supposed to love his parents, and that his parents are going to love and take care of him. He’s not going to stop to consider that maybe his father is deliberately mistreating him, especially not at age 11 - and especially because Wentworth’s mistreatment of Richie is subtle (Too subtle for most children Richie’s age to pick up on, but not so subtle where it doesn’t have major repercussions on him - I could go on for hours about how Wentworth’s treatment of Richie negatively impacts him as a person, but that’s really beside the point of this post, so I’ll save it for another time) and intermingled with what could be perceived, especially by a kid who assumes that his parents have his best interests heart, as harmless banter. Richie is, in short, an unreliable narrator when it comes to his parents - which, when you get down to it, is pretty God damn common for sufferers of abuse.

Getting back to Wentworth - it’s made clear to us, or should be clear to us even in the span of a single chapter that he’s meant to treat his son horribly, and that he practices a very particular and damaging type of psychological abuse on him. That being said, for the love of God, please don’t confuse the type of abuse going on here. There is nothing in the couple of scenes Richie’s parents are shown in to suggest that they would be physically abusive towards Richie - but more importantly, Richie never reflects on suffering any physical abuse at the hands of his parents, which puts him at an obvious contrast with how, say Beverly, is shown to reflect on her father, who is physically abusive towards her.

If Richie was intended to be suffering physical abuse from his parents (I’m not saying it’s impossible to reason them giving him the occasional slap on the wrist if he does something they don’t like, I’m talking about serious, recurring physical abuse, like the kind Beverly’s dad or Henry’s dad are shown to inflict on their children, and other people’s children in the case of Butch) he absolutely would reflect on it at some point. Even if he was totally excusing his parents’ behavior or didn’t see anything especially wrong with it, he would still reflect on it. All of the other characters in the novel who are implied to be suffering physical abuse - such as Beverly - do, and Richie has just as much if not more POV than some of those characters. (Also, I’m not suggesting that one kind of abuse is worse than another - just that physical and psychological abuse are very different and that you shouldn’t senselessly blur the line between them when there is indication of one and no indication whatsoever of the other.)

Now, I understand if you’re running strictly with the canon of the movie that Richie’s dad is essentially a blank page. (We don’t even know for a fact that he’s named Wentworth.) That being said, we know that more than not of the kids had their book relationships with their parents adapted basically as they appear on the page. (With the exception of Mike, who was given a completely different backstory and whose character was changed dramatically, so I wouldn’t really factor him into the equation, Ben, whose relationship with his mother and presumably deceased father is not touched on in the movie, and Stan, whose relationship with his father was changed to be more negative, but we easily get the least on Stan’s parents of any of the Losers’ parents in the novel anyway.) Point being, if Bill’s relationship with his parents, Beverly’s relationship with her dad, Eddie’s relationship with his mom, and Henry’s relationship with his dad were all adapted in a manner very similar to how they appear in the book, it stands to reason that the same was probably intended for Richie and Ben (Both of whom are depicted in the movie very similarly to how they are depicted in the book) and their parents.

That being said, I’m not out to condemn people who don’t run with Richie’s parents being exactly like they are in the book - ultimately, we don’t see his parents in the movie, so you do have some freedom to choose. But how they appear in the book is definitely something that should be carefully considered, especially seeing as how Richie’s character’s is depicted so similarly in the movie and book, and we know his parents must have played a large role in making him the way he is. (In short, it’s not very plausible that you would get basically the same Richie in the movie as in the book if you gave him totally different parents, or a totally different relationship with/perspective on those parents.)

Also, Finn Wolfhard has stated that Richie’s father is a dentist (Wentworth is a dentist in the novel) meaning that the movie is at least to some degree acknowledging the canon of the book regarding Richie’s parents. Richie also never makes any negative statements about his parents in the movie, which implies his feelings on them could easily be similar to what they are in the book. Neither his father nor mother accompany him to Stanley’s Bar Mitzvah (The woman sitting next to Richie who a lot of people assume is his mom is actually Stanley’s mom) which implies a neglectful approach to parenting similar to what’s shown from them in the book. Point being, even though we never actually see them, there’s a lot of evidence to support Richie’s parents being at least similar to how they are portrayed in the book. That doesn’t mean you can’t do something different with them (You have that right, you’d have that right even if you were writing exclusively from the book - you always have the right to deviate from canon where you want, that’s the beauty of RP) but for the love of God, please at least consider what’s written in the book, especially since it’s the only source of canon we even really have for Richie’s parents, before doing anything drastic.

Again, Richie in the movie is portrayed very similarly to how he is portrayed in the book - obviously, he’s going to be like that for reasons largely to do with his upbringing and life experiences, and his parents are inevitably going to be a huge part of that. All parents play a dramatic role in shaping their children, especially parents with behaviors as particular as Richie’s are shown to have - you can’t even begin to logically reason him being the kid he is in the movie if you give him parents that don’t at least behave similarly to the way his parents behave in the book, because he is so alike in both, and we know they must have had a lot to do with making him the way he is. Please, please consider that before you turn Wentworth into a good and loving father or a literal ogre slinging punches at his son, whether or not you decide to run with exactly what’s on the page.

Anyhoo, thanks for reading! Hopefully you found this post to be informative. Like I said, I’ll be making one about Maggie sometime in the near future, so stay tuned for that if you enjoyed this one!

[smokeybrand]

Left Cheek

I love Transformers. Love them. I'm old enough to have experienced half of Generation One, firsthand, and i cherish those memories. With the advent of videocassettes and the Video Rental Store, i was able to see the entirety of the series a few years after it concluded. As i got older, it was difficult to accept a lot of changes to the franchise going forward. Beast Wars came through and turned everything i knew about my beloved Cybertronians, right on it’s head. I hated that show at first but, over time, it became one of my favorites. I even gave Beast Machines a pass because it was a continuation. I tolerated Robots in Disguise and the f*cking Unicron Trilogy. Those were the worst but that was my first experience with Japanese Transformers. I didn’t get into Headmasters, Zone, and all of that until much later. Animated dropped and, while i didn’t care for it, i respected it’s gumption. It’s a great take on the franchise and deserves it’s place in the fandom. Prime is the show that wormed it’s way into my heart, though. Transformers Prime is the best adaption of the Cybertron mythos, since G1. It’s spectacular. I’m not going to get into the great games, outstanding comics, and newer franchises. If i did, we’d be here forever. No, suffice it to say, i adore Transformers. It’s one of the big three that defined my childhood; Spider-Man, Godzilla, and G1 Transformers. I cannot stress enough how much i absolutely adore these bots so, when i say i absolutely loathe Bayformers, you know my contempt is real.

Michael Bay makes sh*t films. I wrote an entire essay about why but that’s not what this is. This is strictly focused on his treatment of my beloved franchise. Bayformes is the absolute worst. That first film was decent. It had potential. Hell, i kind of like that one. I didn’t think it was very good, but there was a decent feel with it. It felt like a Transformers episode. A super dark, edgy-for-no-reason episode of Transformers. I didn’t care for the Transformers designs but i understood the logic behind why they looked like that. What i didn’t understand, and the first thing that gave me pause about Bay’s “vision”, is the fact that Hugo Weaving voices Megatron. Are you serious? He had Frank Welker audition for the role of Megatron and then passed on him because “He didn’t sound like MY Megatron.” What the f*ck? Frank Welker IS Megatron! That’s like telling Stan Lee he doesn't know how to properly write Spider-Man. Are you f*cking serious? It was at that point, i knew this franchise as in trouble and i would be proven right. There is a distinct decline in the quality of the Bayformers movies after the first. Overt sexism, toilet humor, aggressive racism, poor writing, complete lack of continuity, cookie cutter narrative, McGuffin of the week story structure, China pandering, uncomfortable serialization of minors; These f*cking films became a real problem, real fast. All of that sh*t is absolutely terrible, any one of them worth ire, but it’s the treatment of Mikaela Banes that really f*cks me up.

Michael Bay is bad at films. I cannot stress that enough. He has no understanding of story structure, characterization, plot progression, or character growth. That’s why I'm so surprised Mikaela Banes is such a complete character. Mikaela might as well be the main character of the franchise because she’s the only one that can be described as a proper character. She has agency, she has depth, and she’s brought to life with a real humanity by Megan Fox. I imagine if the script was better written and she had more to do, Fox could have delivered a great performance but, for what she was given, she still hits it out of the park. Her arc takes a backseat to Sam, of course, it’s his movie, but Mikaela is quietly awesome the entire time she’s ever onscreen. Mikaela is the best thing about these films and the fact that she got axed because Fox voiced her unhappiness about how horrible Bay is to work with, is absolutely ridiculous. She called him Hitler, i believe, which is an apt description about how Bay treats the women and those he deems less than himself, on set. I imagine he passed on Bad Boys for Life because he couldn’t get away with the same bullsh*t toward Smith and Lawrence he had before. If Bay can’t feed his ego, he’s not interested in the project and Fox bruised the f*ck out of that self-image when she criticized his tomfoolery. So, after firing her from the franchise she helped legitimize with a great performance and dope ass character, Bay poured glass into those wounds by creating Carly Spencer.

Carly is a direct slap to the legacy Fox left with Mikaela. Everything Carly did in Dark of the Moon, was supposed to be Mikaela. Everything. All of it.  That was the end to Mikaela’s story. That was the cap to her entire arc and it would have been a good way to go out. It wold have made Dark of the Moon adequate. It was a natural progression, the only progression, for the best character in the entire goddamn franchise. That sh*t was actual good writing, especially coming off the debacle that was Return of the Fallen. This was a great, real, actualized character in a Michael Bay film. That sh*t, alone, is rare as f*ck. This was Mikaela’s story. If you get rid of Mikaela, you have to get rid of the entire arc. You have to respect the journey and the work put into developing the character. If Fox gets fired, recast the Mikaela. Someone else could have closed out Banes’ story. It was hers to finish. She deserved it. She earned it. What does Bay do? F*cking not that! No, this motherf*cker decides to add an entirely new broad to the mix, at the end of the goddamn story! Motherf*cker doesn’t even change the script, he just GIVES all of Mikaela’s resolution, to Carly! Like, Bay changes nothing in the script. He does a search-and-replace for Mikaela with Carly, and just shoots it. Just like that. It’s bullsh*t! It smacks of pettiness and derails the narrative in such a jarring fashion that the movie starts off-kilter and never really gets it’s bearings.

Dark of the Moon had the potential to be the best film in the Bayformers franchise, especially with what came next, but that sh*t was thrown right out of the window over a petty grudge. I don’t have anything against Carly as a character. How can I? We, as the audience, don;t know her. I don’t have anything against Rosie Huntington-Whiteley portraying her. She actually does a decent job, even though she is basically relegated to “Barbie Doll Damsel.” Even that aspect, the whole “Always in danger” bullsh*t is a slight to Mikaela. Banes had been in several battles with this robotic giants. She was as experienced with these motherf*ckers as NEST. All of sudden, she just gets played for a chump? Really? Michael Bay has an opportunity with Dark of the Moon to do right by the fans. To do right by the Mikaela character. So the actress who played her hurt your feelings. So what? Cast someone else and finish the art. Instead, Bay did everything in his power to erase the best thing about the Bayformer franchise and I'll never forgive him for it.

[ruinedbygaysstylinson]

Hi, I just wanted to ask what do u think about the fact that Liam talks in nearly every interview about zayn. Like the management has to admit the q's obviously 🙄 but in one of the interviews (in 🇫🇷) the interviewer even asks if he wants to collaborate with for example zayn. Like I sometimes think management wants to push this as well?! Maybe they use this to activate the Ziam stans? Maybe? I don't know 🤷‍♀️ what do u think?

Hey Nonnie! I agree that Zayn is definitely a talking point for Liam based on the number of interviews that Liam has either been asked about him, or just brought him up unprompted. I think there are two ways to look at everything in this fandom: either it means something and will be used in the future, or it’s completely random. From personal experience, random things are few and far between around these parts, so let’s assume Liam’s team is doing this on purpose. Why? I can think of a few plausible reasons that tie into his solo career.

1) Liam was truly hurt by Zayn leaving, and now he’s choosing to bring him up whenever he can just to talk it out in public. This is unlikely, considering the way Liam spoke about Zayn following March 2015 up until May of this year. (I also made a post about Liam’s questionable mentions of Zayn which I will reblog after this because Tumblr mobile is awful and I can’t link it to save my life 😕)

2) Liam is trying to tap into Zayn’s extensive fan base because it branches outside his own. After all, Zayn has fans from not only his music, but his fashion ventures as well. This also is pretty unlikely because just mentioning a former band member and friend won’t make anyone buy Liam’s music. Only people that are already following Liam’s career will notice any of his positive comments towards Zayn.

3) Liam is trying to bait Ziam fans into supporting him. I know Harry has been accused of baiting Larries recently, and it’s easy to assume Liam is doing the same thing. I don’t think this is the case for Liam. There are far less Ziam stans than Larries, and the majority of them already support Liam 100%, in spite of his current personal situation. I know his comments from a couple months ago also turned some people off to his career, so if his strategy was to unite the Ziam fanbase, mission not accomplished.

4) Liam is actually interested in collaborating with Zayn, but instead of calling him like a normal person, he’s decided to go the roundabout way and pray Zayn takes the hint. Personally, I’m pretty sure that Zayn and Liam already have multiple songs that they’ve written and sung together, based on Liam’s comments about writing with Zayn when they were still touring with 1D. Their musical tastes are extremely similar and we all know their voices work very well together. Liam doesn’t need to continuously say he wants to collaborate with Zayn to make it happen, so this option also isn’t that great.

So, why exactly would Liam continue to bring up Zayn if his solo career won’t benefit from it? Well, it’s been discussed that an OT5 reunion will be brought about by Liam reconnecting with Zayn. I think this is pretty likely, especially after all the activity from Liam’s side recently. Regardless of your thoughts on their personal lives, it’s no secret that Liam and Zayn were extremely close friends in the band, and that kind of connection doesn’t just die. If we are ever going to get a 1D reunion, the broken connections between band members need to be repaired, and I think Liam will most likely act as a bridge between OT4 and Zayn. I can see this happening either on a strictly personal basis where they just start interacting as friends publicly again, or it could happen professionally. Perhaps they will choose to collaborate and realize their friendship is still intact and salvageable.

I’ve also talked to some people that think all of the postive Zayn comments were planned from the beginning to seed a reunion, and the oddball negative comments were made at the very beginning to slow the process down. After all, we probably have over a year before a reunion would be able to happen, and we know these teams know how to play the long game.

In short, I don’t think Liam’s team is randomly allowing him to mention Zayn in this many interviews. I think it’s leading to a Ziam reunion, and ultimately an OT5 reunion.

[femslashrevolution]

Towards A Darker Femslash by holyfant

This post is part of Femslash Revolution’s I Am Femslash series, sharing voices of F/F creators from all walks of life. The views represented within are those of the author only.

Hello everyone! I hope your Femslash February is going great so far. I was stoked to be asked to write a little something for I Am Femslash, particularly because while I’ve written bits and pieces about my experience as a young, queer, multishipping and writing young woman in fandom, I’ve never really tried to put any of my thoughts together in a truly coherent way. So, here I go, attempting to write about a topic that is dear to me. Feel free to engage me on any of the points I make in this little essay!

So, hi. I’m holyfant, a 26-year-old ESL fanfic and (aspiring) original fiction writer. I’ve been active in fandom for nearly fifteen years, and have written fic for a lot of that time, picking up English and fannishness along the way. Writing fic gave me a way to connect with other people who had to same interests I did – and only later did I realise it also paved the way to more self-knowledge. At some point during my teens, the question of my own sexual and romantic identity became pressing; maybe paradoxically this first drew me to male slash, and only later to femslash – perhaps because the former was and is more visibly present in fandom than the latter, and perhaps also because reading and writing femslash was still too direct a way to engage with my own identity at that point. I still don’t fully understand this; I remember that when I was first playing with the idea that I might not be straight, it felt safer to read about men in love than women in love. Maybe seeing male characters discover their non-straightness was close enough to my own experience to stir up emotion and feeling, but far enough removed from it that it didn’t stir up panic. Who knows?

Either way, when I was more comfortable with who I was, I returned to f/f and found it infinitely rewarding. I read a metric ton of femslash fic and wrote lots myself – for a fairly long stretch of time I enjoyed deep obscurity in the Harry Potter and Greek mythology fandoms as a niche femslash writer with two or three loyal readers, and it was truly a lovely time. I engaged with femslash in a curious, non-discriminatory way – I shipped everyone. I’d take two minor female characters who perhaps had never even interacted in canon and found a way to put them together. I took prompts for characters that were only featured in throw-away lines, and wrote a lot of fic for the now sadly defunct LJ community hp_rarestpairest, which encouraged the nichest of pairings. Basically I was honing my writing skills, while also representing my questions, hopes and fears about my own sexuality at the same time. In my fics I dealt with women falling in love, being rejected, having sex with each other, coming out to their families and friends, dealing with heartbreak – all of these were things that I was thinking about, was experiencing or wanted to experience, or was scared of. I think it will surprise few queer femslash writers to hear that reading and writing femslash taught me a lot about my own identity and sexuality and gave me a community of queer women that I would otherwise never have found.

Despite the fact that I was mostly a femslash writer in my early times in fandom and the fact that I write f/f in my current fandoms today, it remains a curious truth that my growth as a writer from someone who wrote 1,000-word oneshots in one go to someone who wrote novel-length fanfic over several months coincided with going into a different fandom where my main focus was a m/m ship (BBC Sherlock, where I was sucked into the black hole that was Sherlock/John). I said I “shipped everyone” earlier – it would be just as correct to say I shipped no one, because I had no deep emotional investment in the ships I wrote about, and often wrote only one fic per ship. (Perhaps the only exception was Lavender/Parvati, which I wrote often and regularly gave me the warm fuzzies to think about.) It wasn’t until Sherlock happened that I started to understand what people meant when they said a ship was their OTP, or how people could get so intense about their reading of a relationship. As a result of this increased feeling of investment I read and wrote so much fic that I became a much better writer for it, by pushing myself to write more and more complex stories. This was all fine in itself, but even as it happened I was aware that it was curious that this sudden spur of feeling and craft was because of a juggernaut white dude ship, something that had never held much interest for me before. I felt – even at that heady time when you’re in a new fandom and it’s like being in love – like I wanted to continue to write smaller pairings and explore female characters, too. And I did, but the point remains that when I look at my story stats now, it’s clear that my f/f stories are shorter in word count and are less varied in their plot and execution than my m/m stories.

All this to show that I am 100% part of what I am about to describe: not a problem, per se, but an observation that I think is useful to be aware of and think about. The fact is that femslash, across fandoms, remains a niche category, and that while there are great amounts of people who read and write almost exclusively m/m this is barely ever the case for f/f. A lot of the f/f writers I know have talked at some point about the realisation that f/f in general seems to lack novel-length stories and stories that have the diversity of plotting and thematic exploration that we easily find for m/m ships. Most f/f stories are shorter stories or oneshots that focus on meet-cutes, sex and domestic bliss. Longer fics are rare. Darker themes, such as character death and grief, trauma, relationship issues, adultery, abuse and so on are also rare. I am not the first to notice this and not the first to theorise on it, but I would still like to identify why I think f/f fandom has developed in this direction, and to formulate some ideas as how to diversify our creative experiences a little.

I think there are a lot of possible reasons that f/f writers are in general less motivated to write long stories that explore complex themes, and these will surely differ for everyone. For me, I’ve identified three causes, in increasing order of importance: 1. a small audience, and therefore a smaller possibility of extensive feedback, 2. a lack of variation and complexity in female characters and their relationships in a lot of canon materials, and 3. the awareness that f/f is often rooted in a deeply lived experience for many of its readers and writers, and that it’s therefore necessary to be wary of representing “bad” female characters or negative tropes about lesbian and bisexual relationships. The most complex of these is certainly no. 3, which is why that’s the one I will be writing about a bit more.

Statistically f/f is most likely to be written and read by cis queer women, which of course influences our relationship with the characters we portray, because they refer to our own lived existence. This makes f/f different from m/m – m/m is also mostly written by cis women (straight and otherwise), which creates a certain leeway for “true” realism. Anecdotally I can share what happened when my housemate and my best friend, both cis gay men, delved into the world of m/m fanfic on some of my recommendations. While they enjoyed a lot of the stories I told them I’d liked, they also talked about many of the things they felt were inaccurate about gay sex and romance – for instance, they could name several often-described sexual acts that they said didn’t quite “work that way”, and they were generally uncomfortable with the fannish (certainly often problematic) tendency to label characters as strictly tops or bottoms, especially if this was based on stereotypical characteristics outside of the bedroom. If gay men were to write these stories (which they do, of course, only in much smaller numbers), they might look different – they might be less fictionalised, less genre-specific; the language developed to talk about men in love might be different, there might be different focuses. It’s hard to definitively say what it would be like. Either way, it would seem logical that it follows, from the fact that lesbian and bisexual women overwhelmingly write the fannish stories that we have about lesbian and bisexual women, that we should find it easy to access their spaces and write about many different aspects of their lives. In reality this doesn’t necessarily seem to be so. Perhaps the scrutiny, both internal and external, is larger – perhaps because we are writing about ourselves we put more pressure on ourselves to “get it right”, and perhaps our audience, who is looking to see itself represented, does the same at times. Or maybe we simply perceive our audience as being more critical than it truly is.

What is a “bad” female character? Most people will agree that women often get the short stick of characterisation in most media – to such an extent that there are tropey names for them, like the Girl Next Door, the Femme Fatale, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and so on. Women are still often used as crutches for men; their stories are supporting stories, their pain is used to further a male character’s pain. Writing about women in fanfic is often already a rebellious act in itself, one that reverses harsh or flippant treatment by canon writers. While this is fine in se, and sometimes even lends a pleasant sheen of fannish disobedience to writing female-centric fic, I do believe it has the unintended and unsavoury result of effectively also policing the sort of woman that can be written about. This may seem like a paradox, but in reacting to the one-dimensional representations of women in fiction it can become important to “fix” those wrongs, and this makes it hard to write about women who don’t overtly challenge assumptions about womanhood: unsympathetic women, women who are perhaps weak-willed, petty, bigoted, jealous, aggressive, criminal, highly sexual, or abusive. Considering that, at least in a Western vision on literature, stories derive meaning at their base from conflict, removing the option to write “bad” women removes a lot of possibility for thematic conflict. This might be part of the reason why there are significantly less plot-driven f/f stories than there plot-driven m/m stories; plot usually requires conflict, and conflict often requires flawed characters and flawed relationships.

I know that when I write about women I’m conscious of the fact that I have internalised societal ideas about what it “should” mean to be a woman, but I’m also aware that in trying to combat those ideas it’s easy to get mired in different ones. I know that I sometimes interrogate myself about what it is that I’m saying about women when I write about this particular woman cheating on her partner or being generally secretive and untruthful – doesn’t that reproduce a societal prejudice that women are untrustworthy? It’s very hard to separate a single performance of fictional womanhood from the general performance of womanhood – this is not usually a problem with (white) men, who are allowed to represent only themselves, and not their entire gender.

The above paragraphs talk about “women” – clearly the problem of treatment that I write about becomes many times more pressing when dealing with women who are on other intersections of oppression. Women who love women are more vulnerable to prejudice and abuse than straight women, and wlw of colour are again many times more vulnerable than their white sisters. And when these wlw or woc are not cisgender, again their situation becomes many times more dire. These societal realities are often reproduced in media – 2016 was the year in which no lesbian or bisexual woman on tv seemed to be safe, and their pain and deaths hurt all the more because we are confronted with this pain in real life, too. I remember my tumblr dash around the time that The 100’s Lexa died; the pain there for many queer women who watched the show was very real, because – I think – it echoed a feeling of being unsafe, of being cruelly treated in society. I remember fans writing about how hurtful it was to see a brave female character who loved another woman killed off like this; in their pain many people stated that it was unacceptable that lesbian or bisexual female characters should be killed in fiction at all. Of course, this was understandable considering how hurt fans were, and how often they had been disappointed – still, the typical fannish tendency towards lack of nuance frustrated me. In capable writers’ hands, tragedy can be performed very meaningfully. I wrote a little about this on my blog at the time, because I was starting to feel insecure about my own tendency to prefer darker thematic material – was I complicit in my own oppression, and was I hurting other queer women by writing what I enjoyed? Clearly my own privilege was also part of this question: I am a wlw, but I’m white and cisgender, and I hail from a country where legal equality has been realised for the entirety of my adult life. Obviously homophobia is still a problem, but my close environment has been nothing but supportive and accepting from the moment I first came out as lesbian at 16, and again as bisexual at 24. So I haven’t experienced much of the tension and fear that other wlw might have experienced. Does this make me a part of the oppressive machine that performs queer women’s pain for shock value? I seriously thought about this question before tentatively concluding that I had to have faith that I was a thoughtful enough writer to avoid these pitfalls.

It might seem from this essay that I find writing femslash to be an exhausting trial of constantly having to think about what prejudices I’m reproducing – this is not the case. I love writing femslash and I love my femslash-writing friends. I’ve learned heaps about myself and others by reading some of the stellar f/f stories out there, and with every f/f story I write I become more aware of how much I love to write about queer women – and I remind myself that I should certainly do it more often, and more ambitiously. As I stated above, this is something that I’ve noticed in my own writing practice, so it’s not an accusation leveled at anyone else. It’s simply something that I find worthwhile to examine. Judging by some of the conversation that periodically does the rounds in my f/f-loving circles, I’m definitely not alone in that.

Now how to deal with this in our f/f-writing community? There’s no singular answer to that, and whatever we can do is both blindingly obvious and hard to actually do. One of the possible answers is, as it is with so many complex questions that have complex roots, to simply push through and do it anyway, to try to ignore some of the fear and uncomfortable associations we might feel in writing unsympathetic f/f narratives and write them anyway. Diversifying the stories we write will automatically diversify the stories we feel we’re allowed to write. Audience response is probably important too; I think that there must be plenty of people who feel, like me, that it’s a shame that so much of femslash is short and that a lot of it focuses on narrative happiness rather than also exploring narrative unhappiness and conflict, which (in my opinion, at least) yields more fertile literature. And if we feel that way, then we have to try to reward people who write the things we like to read, through our attention, our comments, our kudos, our podcasts, our recs, et cetera.

I write this mere days before the beginning of Femslash February, and I’m certainly planning to walk the walk that I’ve talked in this talk; I’m absolutely sure that the strong core of people who love to read about women loving women will continue to keep this community vibrant and alive and that there are plenty of new directions our stories can go in. I’m looking forward to seeing what the other voices who are participating in I Am Femslash have to say, and I’m looking forward to all of the new content that will be produced. I’m grateful that as a young teen I stumbled upon fandom and that I found my way towards femslash a few years later; I’m pretty sure my own journey of discovery and creativity would have been very different, and probably more difficult, if I hadn’t found this community. So, to all of us: We Are Femslash! <3

About the author

holyfant is a 26-year-old bisexual woman from Belgium, who’s been writing about women and their relationships since she was a budding young wlw. She loves to think about literature and how it relates to the core of our human experiences: the only thing she really wants to be, in the end, is a storyteller.

Tumblr: http://holyant.tumblr.com

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/holyfant

[mild-lunacy]

It is what it is (so here we are)

I've just said recently that I do still see implicit Johnlock, and even if I'm not blindingly happy with S4, then at least I'm not turned off from the canon (just from fandom, but then it doesn't take much). I enjoyed it a lot, particularly the pulp genre stuff and the clever bits. It's hard to remember when I'm on Tumblr, but I did. It's my sort of thing, story-wise. Of course, it could have been more. And I do think it *should* have been more. But it is what it is. I want to celebrate that and not drown in negativity for the characters I adore and writers I still admire, but at the same time, I'd certainly like to support fair critiques. And in that spirit, I feel the need to push back against the negativity directed at all the people who expected implicit subtext to become explicitly canon, and are now disappointed. Quite rationally so.

Basically, I feel sort of on the fence right now. As I recently said, in many ways, TJLC as a fandom phenomenon has left me behind. And I do understand @unreconstructedfangirl's frustration at the state of fandom-- squee harshing has been an understatement, and my own squee balloon is definitely in danger of popping. But frankly, I'm never going to apologize for having been a TJLCer (and other people's beliefs or behavior have nothing to do with me; I claim neither fault nor credit). Just because some people do things one disagrees with doesn't mean a title (eg, feminist) shouldn't apply to everyone else, so I'd embraced the TJLC label although I had usually referred to it as 'canon Johnlock'. To me, it's simply been about analyzing the direction of a TV show to the best of my ability. It turned out that it wasn't as internally consistent or as groundbreaking a narrative as we all thought (and hoped), even though it remains a wonderfully made, clever, fun and moving story that I'll always love.

I feel very entitled to speak about this 'cause I know 100% I'm not being hormonal or emotional. I'm absolutely not speaking out of shippy feeling (though of course I have feelings). This isn't about feelings for me, and it's not about shipping. It's continuously frustrating that after all this time, Johnlock-friendly people in fandom still think this is about shipping. Canon Johnlock was the result of my *analysis* and my understanding of narrative construction concepts as a writer and critic. In my reasoned opinion, this awareness should be part of the analysis of the show's character arcs made by any halfway intelligent or literate person. This actually includes Moffat and Gatiss, even *if* the subtext wasn't intentional (which I find very hard to believe). The fact is that the overall narrative doesn't really make sense unless you integrate the subtext of the show, and that subtext is that John and Sherlock have romantic feelings for each other. This is explicitly referenced by many characters, supported by multiple mirrors, and overall just hammered into the textual themes and is central to Sherlock's humanization arc.

To make it absolutely clear, this isn't about my fangirl's shippy need to see John and Sherlock kiss and live happily ever after. I literally do not even *care* about my favorite characters' happiness: I'm an angst fan. I also don't really care what fandom does or *can* do in terms of shippy fanworks based on the text. I can never really relate to such arguments, or be glad canon Johnlock wasn't actualized for the sake of fannish diversity. Honestly, I find such claims to be derailing. I do love the fandom's creativity and I enjoy many, many different types of fanworks. But the fact is that I'm a canon-whore through and through, and I was *talking* about canon when I talked about TJLC and canon Johnlock.

So basically, talking about what fandom needs or could/couldn't use in fics is just alienating to the point of being meaningless to me. I don't see why it's relevant or why I should prioritize this in my analysis of a relationship I consider purely on its canonically-based merits. I also think that whole conversation can get especially derailing when we were talking about representation, which is (of course) a whole other kettle of fish, but not one to ignore or hand-wave. Certainly, it's not something to hand-wave like the BBC has done recently, with references to the creators' attention to queer charities. However, neither is it something to use as social capital in fandom wank, with constant references to being queer yourself or any other kind of 'queer cred'. This isn't about your and/or mine and even Mark Gatiss's queer cred (or the lack thereof). The very *idea* of queer cred and all the ways people from the BBC all the way across fandom feel the need to be defensive about it is fundamentally derailing. This is about the *story*, and secondarily-- but not less importantly-- about its impact on and meaning for its (often queer, often young, often vulnerable) audience.

Personally, I just want good, consistent writing that makes sense, that builds on its own themes and honors and develops the characters. I will admit, of course, that emotional pay-off and resolution is part and parcel of what makes fictional suffering work in an arc, unless you're writing a tragedy. Needless to say, Series 4 did not offer this-- not simply for Johnlock shippers, but for anyone who wanted to feel the pain in Series 3 and 4 was 'worthwhile'. I say this even though I personally don't really need such pay-off; I'm a cold-prickly type reader who's generally happy with implicit emotional resolution, but it's not how most audiences work, as any good writer would be aware. Story arcs come to explicit conclusions because that's how good stories work, not because that's how shippers want them to work. This may not always be relevant, but BBC Sherlock is *already* a Western-style genre narrative in the classic style, filled with many romantic cliches and queer-coded up the wazoo. It's already a traditionally structured narrative, and its main characters are already shown to be in love to anyone not being strictly limited by heteronormativity. Even people who don't label themselves 'TJLC' get this, either due to literary analysis literacy or a willingness to see what's right in front of them. Given that, the disagreement was only ever about the likelihood of there being an explicitly romantic resolution by intent. However, the fact is that regardless of Moffat and Gatiss's intent, good writing means following your characters' lead rather than doing what you apparently always wanted, whether it's to do with only 'flirting with the homoeroticism' in the narrative, the direction of the character arcs or plot-wise.

Of course, I disagree with many of the critiques that say TFP represented a complete break in characterization, and I agree with Ivy that TFP did work as a resolution of Sherlock's main arc; I also agree that it opens the door to resolving the 'rifle on the wall' of Sherlock's avoidance of romantic entanglement. Further, I don't really think Mofftiss have some sort of direct responsibility to their fans or to the world, and of course they should be free to write the story they wanted to write (just as others are free to critique). But at the same time, Moffat himself has said that good writing is "defined by whether or not you've written or created something people want and like", and it's not supposed to be self-indulgent. It's *supposed* to consider the audience, on his own terms. He's also called himself a fanfic writer, and he's failed his own measure of what makes a good fanfic work: writing "for other people". That approach is definitely not consistent with the fact that they admitted at SDCC in July that TFP was 'insane wish-fulfillment'. This is not up to the standard Moffat and Gatiss have set for themselves during the run of the show.

Like I said, though, I'm definitely on the fence-- I'm torn, because of course I *enjoyed* Series 4 and I'm not really that confused except insofar as wondering why Moffat and Gatiss have so often felt the need to deny what's clearly intentional subtext placed with care and affection into the narrative by the entire team. I'm definitely not enjoying the fandom imploding, or the fact that it feels pretty lonely around here in the post-S4 fangirl bunker. But the negativity about canon Johnlock is no more rationally justified simply because it has not actually happened (I mean *only* rationally, of course; obviously, irrational reactions due to bad blood are eternal). I'm definitely frustrated with the fact that I'm still one of the 'delusional fangirl' brigade when it comes to BBC Sherlock, even though I know perfectly well how rational I am. I will not be gaslighted so easily. And I've just tried to see the straight!John in ASiB, but it's just too hard. There's no way all that's an accident, somehow. So here's what we're left with, after TFP and the end of Series 4 of Sherlock: the good and the bad. And while I still think the good included implicit Johnlock, the bad unfortunately did include queer-baiting.