#especially since the coach ain't allowed to say anything to them either

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

My supervisor sent me to pick up one of our kids from soccer practice bc their regular worker was called out on an emergency and I got there early so I sat in the bleachers where all the parents were waiting and some of the parents asked me which child on the field was mine and bc I’m not allowed to wear my badge or identify myself to random people if it risks outing a child as a foster child I just said “oh I don’t have a kid here” without ONCE considering how fucking terrifying that must’ve sounded to those poor people (a grown woman with no kids watching a random middle school girls’ soccer practice) bc not even 5 mins later the coach ambles over and I get pulled aside to have a private chat about who I was and why I was there

[that-soccer-guru]

Funnily enough I was actually pretty confident after the abysmal Portugal game. I thought, we’ll if we can play at our worst for three games straight and only allow one goal through, then we only need to fix the attack. Now I’m back to doom and gloom. I don’t think the coach is going to make any tactically changes from formation or to proper subs. Julie needs to be in midfield. Take a chance with Alana and Kelly in the back. Bring crystal up as well to help Julie and Horan. Maybe start Ashley Sanchez as well.

Since he’s such a conservative coach, the group stage was the time to test it out. Now I don’t think he will do anything in the knockout rounds. I didn’t want our girls to go out like this against Sweden especially. :(

See I have a different opinion but only for one reason: I've never thought of Vlatko as a coach at all and I'm not about to start now. He's not conservative, he's just a moron.

Genuinely mean this in the NICEST way possible. He doesn't know how to coach beyond the paper. The moment changes need to be made in the shape of the team, what kind of players and movements he needs to make to adjust to the other team's game plan he's out. He's a good preparation coach, the kind that sits you down to watch tape and study the other team but an actual side line coach? utter garbage.

And, to top it off, he's stubborn. Don't expect any major changes to the way the team will play Sweden. They've played this exact formation with this same shape of players since he started and he's convinced this is gonna work and it ain't gonna change.

If anything i put the blame on the players, who see this disaster and are either missing the guts to say nope this isn't working lets change it, or don't understand the game enough to know what to do about it. I lean to the first one but at this point, who's to say.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope he moves Julie from CDM to full on CM and deploys an actual backline with a real sweeper and some actual 4 line defenders as opposed to his 3-line nonsense with Dunn. Actually if it were me this is how I would line up:

Naeher

Sonnett-O'Hara-Girma-Cook

Ertz-Sullivan

Horan

Rodman-Morgan-Smith

And, depending on the score at half, I'd swap out Andi for Sanchez, Alex for Rose and drop her next to Lindsey for a double 10/8 stitch, and around minute 65-70 if goals haven't happened, bring in Thompson and Lynn Williams for Rodman and Smith, most likely keeping Rodman on the field longer than Smith on fitness and heatmap alone.

Is it a perfect plan? Hell no. But it brings some fucking dynamism to this team, it employs a lot of the speed, it leaves Horan free from recovery duty to focus on playmaking alone, and it allows for players to last longer on the field. You could swap the Rose sub for KMew and set her free as a floating 9 behind the front team. You can make it into a 3 line with Lindsey-KMew-Ertz if you're so in love with your stupid 4-3-3 and focus them on transitioning the ball to take advantage of how fast Rodman and Smith can run.

THERE IS A WORLD OF POSSIBILITIES AND VLATKO CAN'T SEE ANY OF THEM AND IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH!

[nikasholistic]

How do we change our subconscious belief systems? Ik it takes time, patience and self-awareness to reprogram ourselves, to tear out the destructive and self-sabotaging habits/thought patterns/(in)actions, to replace them with the right things that'll allow us to live the life we deserve

How do we actually do that?

There's such an info overload on the net. Who do I trust? What actually works? I really want to change, but I keep relapsing, then I give up, then as I realise I've spiralled, I get desperate, then I re-try... Then the cycle repeats

I have deep-rooted issues - no doubt that's why anything I try doesn't stick (plus mostly, what can I do when a part of me itself doesn't care about 'changing'? My desire to change < Convincing power of that part). It's unbearable, sometimes. Other times, when I wake up, I conveniently completely forget I was doing a particular method (eg I find myself working on affirmations for up to a week, then the next day somehow I don't even remember doing this (or I magically lose the paper I'd written them on), and it takes a while before I recall what I was working on). Extremely frustrating. Especially since it took me a while to identify these sly tricks of the SC mind (and it was a real aha moment when I looked back and saw this pattern snaking back into my past)

Ah these SC beliefs. It's so insane how powerful they can be. Ik some part of me is scared sick of me changing and getting rid of the old (90%+ self-destructive) me. Idk how to battle myself when it seems so natural for me to fall into these quicksand traps. Idk if you've experienced this. It's been some months now and it's not getting easier

Ever since I've 'woken up', I realise how rotten my current reality is, and the consequences of my poor thinking/feeling in the past. But I accept that. It's just: what if everything keeps going like this, and eventually leads to the same future? An unfulfilled, lackadaisical existence. I'm terrified of that. As if I'm in the passenger seat of a crashing car. The worst is when opportunities do knock (coz of some successful deliberate LOA practices), and I find myself unable to step up. Deep fear, hidden guilt, major lack of trust in myself have led to this. Phases of darkness during my developing years haven't helped either. As time passes, and the above cycle repeats, I become aware of more (long-buried) twisted beliefs and distorted concepts of my 'worth' and 'future'. It's frightening what monsters have been hiding under the bed. I feel helpless and alone

If I really force myself to challenge some beliefs, say, I end up 'researching' instead, and we all know endlessly consuming content (articles, 'self-help' books, YT 'coaches') is nice and all, but it ain't worth nothing without application

And application is where I fail

The only thing that's changed is I've become self-aware (say, half of the time) in realising when I'm falling prey to the 'destructive' beliefs. Again, it's not much use when I still give in (except now with added guilt at the back of my mind). But no, I do admit it's an achievement! I'm more aware of my thoughts too (as opposed to never realising what damage I was doing to myself by self-inflicting pain via thoughts for so many years)

Can I change? How would you go about turning your life around, from within, if you were in my place?

You inspire me so much. I hope you can give me some advice. I need help like you would help a child - Leading by the hand

What do I do, henceforth, to start rebuilding the foundations of my mind? (SC belief system)

Love you ❤️

And apologies for the long ask but I had to get it out of my chest instead of letting the helplessness grow unchecked. Any help would be appreciated eternally

Thank you for opening up, sometimes we just have to allow the words to flow✨

First of all, I would highly recommend Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself. Because this is what you have to do in order to establish a new belief system, you have to break the habit of being yourself and thus let go of the past self. Dispenza shows you how to do this.

What I’ve personally learned from his books, and from other materials, is that establishing a new belief system is never an immediate thing, and you have to be very patient. You also have to be prepared for setbacks and be willing to rise above them.

I think you’re in some kind of loop with your current belief system. We have between 60-70 000 thoughts a day. 95% of these thoughts are unconscious thoughts. 90% of the thoughts you have today are the same thoughts you had yesterday. You’re running on autopilot, and the key is to establish a new program.

You change your belief system through repetition and turning disempowering beliefs into empowering beliefs. Shadow work is essential here because first, you have to understand the root of particular thoughts, and then change this root and create more empowering beliefs. You say you’re afraid of certain beliefs you uphold, and you don’t have to. You can heal them and let them go. 

Since the subconscious mind is like a computer, you have to establish a new program, and you do this by repetition. Affirmations are essential here. I’ve got a post about affirmations, you can read it here, I would highly recommend combining some of the techniques I presented there. I really think that affirmations are the best and the most effective way to reprogram your mind; you're already programming your mind with certain affirmations, but these affirmations are full of fear and uncertainty. Time for the new, conscious ones.

However, the most important part of changing your belief system is commitment. Why? Because the moment you decide to change, your ego will do everything to prevent you from attaining change. Your ego’s job is to protect you, and it does so by keeping you in a familiar situation, even if this situation doesn't serve you. Your ego is afraid of the unknown, however, the only way to establish a new belief system and thus a new reality is to willingly step into the unknown. You say you’re afraid of letting go of your old self, but it’s just your ego trying to be in control. You can let go of your past self. Your past self has nothing to offer you anymore. 

You have to become very conscious of your habits. Maybe change your routine a little bit? Stop doing certain things on autopilot, and find new ways of doing them. It’s connected with something called neuroplasticity, Dr. Joe Dispenza explains it very well in the book I’ve mentioned. 

It usually takes about 30-90 days of consistent work to establish a new belief system. That’s why you have to stay committed. You have to be prepared for a little battle with your past self and past belief system. You have to be prepared for the fact that you might want to come back to your old thinking patterns, and the moment you do this, it’s time to self-regulate. It’s time to switch your thinking and your emotions. Whenever you do this, you become a conscious designer of your reality and you stop allowing life to happen to you.

Hope that this was helpful. I know that you can do this, it takes time, but eventually, you’ll master your thoughts. 

Love you too 💗