#especially since none of the others or even katsuro were the ones to bear the brunt of the light corruption

[shivasdarknight]

30! for the whole group!

{original question collection post - curious about anything else?}

30. What was their highest point in Shadowbringers? Their lowest? What caused it? 

OH THATS A GOOD ONE because this is a goddamned rollercoaster. It's the most convoluted for Surkie, so I'll get some of the others out of the way first. (under the cut because Long)

Gwendoline's highest was absolutely reuniting with Y'shtola and making sure she's okay since they've been together for a few years at this point. While it wasn't a long time on Gwendoline's end, it was still extremely stressful - especially since Surkukteni was a wreck through all of that - and then you add on a very emotional Y'shtola who hadn't seen Gwendoline in three years. Lowest was watching Surkukteni deteriorate. She had been keeping a pretty serious secret from her and had been meaning to tell her after Stormblood, but this and that led to it never being discussed. So by the time they reached Amaurot, she wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to say it or not and kept quiet. It ate at her; nothing she could do could slow down the light and it just got worse. Yet even after expunging it, Surkukteni continued to spiral and there was little Gwendoline could do except provide distractions.

This one is funny to me just because of how Seraphin is as a character compared to the rest of the group and how casually morbid or socially/legally immoral they can be (they're all fundamentally good people, but there's still a necromancer in the group and all three study highly illegal and often questionable magic), but his high was finally getting the chance to once and for all resoundly kill Emet-Selch. It's not even contradictory to who he is as a character because the build up to this is the fact that he was orphaned by the Garlean conquest against Ala Mhigo, was raised by adoptive Ala Mhigan family, and so much of his life has been characterized by how he and his loved ones are impacted by the damned empire that this bastard founded. So while it's not toppling Garlemald like he would prefer, getting to kill The Fucking Emperor is still pretty high up there. The lowest is unsurprisingly a matter involving the end of Shadowbringers, since watching your friend and close ally ruin herself for the sake of everyone else Fucking Sucks - not as bad as the friend who is doing the dying obviously, but Seraphin still feels like shit since he got in on the plans Urianger was pulled into. And part of why he was, was due to the fact that he would undoubtedly try to stop it before it went through, so he's still holding onto being understandably lashed at for lying - and god, Surkukteni doesn't know about the shared lie between him and Gwen yet. One unique to him at least was when G'raha got captured and was assumed potentially dead, and then the further crystallization sucked. Not because Seraphin harbors feelings for the guy; they just get along and by being let in on the plan to try and keep Surkie alive (hopefully) he grew to at least Give A Shit about the Exarch.

Teodore's high point definitely was the free access to Amaurot after defeating Emet-Selch and realizing that the ruins wouldn't fade - at least, not yet. He kept himself from making any plans due to the dire situation they'd found themselves in, but he lets himself get more invested in studying what this means for his research and the impact on the group - especially since this lines up with an odd quality of his godkids, who both have extremely faint aether in comparison to everyone else on the Source, and he's wondering if they might be Shards of someone (they are! :D they're of the 4th and he's traveling with one Shard, and kills the other! because ofc they're the fragments of charon and hermes). Gestures above again because he really cannot stand the fact that the youngest of the og group is the one solely bearing the burden of the Lightwarden's aether. Keep in mind that Teodore is in his 40s as of SHB, while Surkie was just about to turn 30 or so? He met her when he was in his late 30s and she was 24. But as far as the post patches are concerned, that would genuinely be Zadnor. He's in a bad position in that raid series because Zirnghota - his goddaughter - has now joined the team in her search for her brother, Glyndwr. And unfortunately, Glyndwr is being extremely difficult and it nearly gets him killed a few times. And again: that's Teodore's godson. It also doesn't end with Glyndwr being sent home because the resistance he faced from his own family spurred him into more drastic action, and this open ended question of if he's going to be okay is greatly distressing to Teo especially in the lead up to Endwalker.

I have to include the post patches in order for anything good to happen to Surkukteni. Because not even surviving the light and finally putting down the emperor helped, because everything during 5.0 was so fucking awful for her that it didn't do much beyond leaving her feeling hollow. Because it's done; what now? Where does she even have to go? Her low was so fucking low that it stretched into the post patches. Not even nearly dying from being the one who absorbed all the light was really her lowest because there was so much shit. Having to put up with her brother's bullshit with Emet-Selch; being the only single one of the ARR group + Katsuro, made especially worse since 3 of the Scions were the partners of Gwendoline (Y'shtola) and Katsuro (thanuri); that single stuff was compounded by her brother trying to micromanage her flings and not giving her space to breathe; constantly seeing Ysayle in Cyella (i write her as Ysayle's 13th shard, so even worse) + the bet to even have a chance of briefly being with Cyella while Katsuro went through None of those hoops; nearly losing Esteem, actually losing Ardbert; unresolved feelings for someone she hasn't seen in over a year, unresolved feelings from someone she assumes is dead and was never allowed to grieve - 5.0 was her lowest point. Prime point to feel used, disregarded, and just seeking out what dangerous coping mechanisms she could find to try and dull the pain until she could just move onto the next thing. This is all made so much worse by Elidibus up into 5.3, made worse by Misija mauling Surkukteni's little sister, Altan, and then of course everything to do with Werlyt and having to be around Gaius. 5.0 and much of the lead up to 5.3 was the lowest point for Surkie in all of msq. And it only got worse as the expac went on, and she found herself unable to even feel relief when 5.0 was over. The high point is literally this fic. Like that's not to dismiss anything with Surkukteni and her feelings around Estinien, it's just that fic is the absolute high point for her so much it also kind of threatened to ruin her from how overwhelmed she was to go from extreme lows to This Specific High. Yes, getting with Estinien officially during 5.3 was a high point, but that was off of the heels of thinking that Elidibus had killed him because of That One Instance and the fact he just disappeared to where even Tataru had a hard time finding him. But when you compare her breaking down because she thought he was dead too and the relief that he wasn't mixed with the guilt of having to admit that she broke their no-strings-attached arrangement and all of that to finding out that Ysayle has not been dead for the past four years and the two can actually be together it's. Fundamentally clear why that one's a higher point. Especially when Katsuro got to mourn his dead and she didn't. There's also the fact that she was embroiled in relationship bullshit while only ever having one relationship and that was abusive, her unresolved grief was around someone she loved but was never allowed to grieve properly, and then the guy she's starting to like is so loathed by her brother she can't say shit about it but it's fine for Katsuro to be literally sleeping with the enemy? Yeah, lot of baggage and lot of shit she's gone through that makes reuniting with Ysayle so much more overwhelming for her. Sure, if you want to talk canon there is the fact that bonding with Cyella is a highlight, especially because of how similar they are, but there's not a lot in the realm of strictly canon that is a high point. Reuniting with Ysayle in 5.3 is that high point, so a strictly canon situation would have Surkie Severely fucked.