#especially since its like sumn thats been around for as long as i can remember like. what do you mean a healthy minded individual doesnt get

[hinderr]

The fact that intrusive thoughts are intrusive thoughts and not normal are crazy to me a little

[iamsonyeondone]

spy!bts // kim namjoon

♥ angst and fluff (warning: mentions of violence and minor gore)

♥ 3.3k words

♥ WARNING: mentions of violence and blood and slight gore if you’re not into that

kim namjoon is known for his ‘sexy’ brain - the way he can quickly strategize a getaway in less than a minute or how he’s always a part of creating another new invention with yoongi and jungkook

namjoon helps with providing the information on what they lack on while yoongi works on the functionality of the weapon and jungkook does the overall design

but thats not all when it comes to him

sure he’s a little clumsy at times, breaking his cartridge somehow and having to make do with a knife and still managing to pull through

but he’s pretty agile when he puts his mind to it

he would be able to sneak past guards swiftly, dislocating their necks with quick movements and squeeze through vents that were wayy too narrow and small for his tall and wide stature

but even with his outstanding abilities, he doesnt let it get to his head, ensuring that his teammates are way more important and having to put them first before himself

he was truly that kind of leader anyone would look up to and its amazing how it’s a natural part of his personality

he is also the reason why jungkook joined forces because he thought namjoon looked super cool when he tackled the punching bag like a monster

and its just an unspoken thing that namjoon still sees jungkook as a baby when he’s fully capable of knocking out a whole army of soldiers with a simply pistol and knife

*cue jungkook doing his silly dance moves while on mission and namjoon watches over him like a proud dad*

he may or may not join in and accidentally knock out a bodyguard while doing so

sometimes namjoon is too preoccupied with thinking up a storm that at least one of the younger boys have to follow him

the three youngsters always play rock paper scissors because they just Dont Know what will happen when they’re with namjoon

one time taehyung went on a mission with him and both of them nearly got their legs cut off from a chainsaw

or the time jimin went with him and needed to wear an eyepatch for an entire week because namjoon somehow managed to light the flare right in his face

you on the other hand, knows how to avoid his unintended attacks like a professional

people even think you might have a third eye that sees the future or something

because you managed to dodge nearly all of namjoon’s ‘accidents’

but that’s mainly because you’ve grown up with him nearly all your life

and sustained at least 457 injuries throughout your childhood

that boy from ilsan has grown up with you

although the career the both had right now was definitely not something the both of you would imagine

you’re still very grateful to know that the both of you share the same job and you were relived that he wasn’t going to do something so dangerous alone

despite the many dodging you have done, even the smallest things hurt you sometimes

for example, that time where namjoon accidentally chipped a cup and forgot about it so he used it to serve you and it cut your lip

you didn’t really mind but namjoon kept apologizing to you every half an hour for a week straight until you literally had to knock some sense into him

but even with his clumsy ways, he still managed to look out for you during missions and cover for you when you need it

he would literally run an entire mile to save you from a bunch of qualified soldiers even though you could handle them yourselves

but he’s very adamant on keeping promises, especially the one he made with your mom when he was 5, promising that he would protect you no matter what

and it gets pretty annoying sometimes, because he also includes nagging at you and making up rules as protecting you

“you have to sleep right now, we have a mission at 6 in the morning tomorrow,”

“but it’s only 10,”

“did i fking stutter?”

“this is why i like RJ more than you,”

yes,,, that’s jin’s codename dont even question it 

and honestly, it might have hurt to hear you say that whenever he nags at you, his intention only being the best for you in mind

and maybe because he doesnt just see you as his childhood friend

but whenever jin brings up the topic about how he always boss you around like your mom even though the rest gets away with it

he would always say because he doesnt want you to get hurt

and that was definitely true 

because seeing you in pain would only make himself suffer, and he didnt want to put up with either of that

remember that cut you had on your lip from the chipped cup, he actually genuinely felt super guilty about it 

so any of your injuries would be tended by jimin while namjoon tries to avoid you until your fully bandaged and treated

and you Know™

the both of you have been best friends for so long, how could you not tell how he felt in that moment??

and every time that flash of guilt in his eyes appear when he sees you get grazed by a gunshot or a knife??

but you dont mention it and instead lighten up the mood by doing silly things with the boys and eventually force him to join in

the wounds hurt when you move but seeing him so down hurts even more

i guess thats what love is called or sumn hohoho

another day comes and it doesnt really come to your attention until namjoon sends an alert to all your phones to have an impromptu meeting in the living room

as soon as everyone gathered, some still drowsy from their naps while others had just arrived back from a mission, namjoon stands by the coffee table while the rest took a seat on the couches

“we’ve got another mission for us in about 12 hours or so. Agust, i need you to be on watchout by the roof, bunny and calico will be the driveaway car. V and sunshine , you’ll be on the left wing while me and angel will get the right wing. rj, i need you to be the eagle eye and watch over the security cameras. we’ll talk about this in detail after 6 hours. everyone got it?” 

everyone nodded at once, taking in all the information while they got into their pairs to discuss things before the next meeting

you looked back to namjoon, worry in his eyes as he paced back and forth - it seemed like this mission was a bigger one than the others

“joon, what’s up?” you whispered, bringing him to the corner of the room as he sighed

“we’re going to infiltrate a highly-secured building where they keep the most treasured jewels and the boss needs us to make a clean escape no matter what,” he cursed under his breath, running a hand through his hair

it was probably the fifth time he had done that throughout the last ten minutes

“hey, look at me,” you put on a small smile

and with slight hesitation, he looks back into your glimmering eyes full of hope

and he feels he might be in too deep - his heart beating a mile per minute and the sound of his surroundings began to fade and his ears only focused on you

“you’re the smartest guy around here, and i’m definitely sure you’ll come up with at least something before the next meeting. besides, the others are just as capable, believe in them and we’ll succeed. Stop worrying, big guy,”

you chuckled, knocking his head slightly with your forefinger, eliciting a soft dry chuckle from his lips

“thank you, angel. now let’s get to planning,” he smirked half-heartedly, moving to the basement where all the excessive planning were made

with the help of energy drinks, coffee and jin’s snacks, the both of you managed to come up with three different routes

the first was the safest, yet took the longest

while the other two was much more riskier and needed all of you to put at least 200% of your efforts put into it

and if any of you didnt, it would either result in permanent injury, or worse, death

but namjoon tried his best to stray away from that topic, and was persistent on following plan A as much as possible

it was the least he could do to ensure your safety and the others

six hours pass in a blink of an eye, and everyone was gathered and ready with a list of suggestions to ensure the success of the mission

with the help of yoongi’s new and improved equipment as well as thorough planning on everyone’s part, nearly two-thirds of the planning was done

all that was left was to check if everything and everyone was in order

and then the actual thing would begin

time passes, and thirty minutes were left

jin took his seat by the multiple monitors, checking each and everyone’s navigating device as well as their in-ears

yoongi had already went to the destination an hour earlier to check on things while he set up his sniper and telescope

jungkook and jimin prepped up the car once they were done suiting up and preparing disguises when needed 

while you, namjoon, taehyung and hoseok had slipped into your bulletproof vests and lightweight boots and choosing the preferred weapon 

once the codename for the mission to begin had been uttered by joon, everyone went into full effect and ran to their spots

with swift movements and constant scanning of the area, you anf namjoon managed to get half way through the tight security

of course, having to ‘hurt’ a little more than a handful of people

while taehyung and hoseok crawled through the vents since the left wing’s structure barely had any blind spots for them to squeeze into

after nearly an hour and a half of crawling and sticking your backs to walls, you and namjoon managed to find the room where the required jewels were kept and protected

while namjoon deciphered the passcode, you were on lookout, eyes scanning every side of the hallway while your finger remained on the trigger

as soon as you caught shadows coming from the right, you signalled namjoon to go faster, heart pumping through your chest yet your words remained calm and cool

“shadows. how many more minutes?” you questioned him, your arms getting into position as you focused your silencer onto the approaching targets

“3 minutes at most. alert rj if you’re shooting,” as soon as you captured sight of the guards you were all ready to shoot

“rj, camera at the core,” you whispered, focusing your silencer onto one of their foreheads

“roger that, angel,” as soon as he had been alerted, with a quick push of your finger, a bullet shot through, killing the guard in an instant while the other had their firearms aimed right back at you

you aimed at the second guard as quick as you could and shooting him right between his eyes as well

but just as you did, he was able to shoot right through your left arm, leaving you hissing in pain while namjoon finally managed to unlock the room

“hey angel- shit. apply pressure, we’re almost done,” namjoon whispered, placing his arm above yours which you had been covering the wound from bleeding any further

“we got held back a little at the left wing but we’re here now,” a familiar voice softly echoes from above you

taehyung unhinged the vent’s opening, placing it to the side and hopping out, hoseok following suite

before they could speak about your injury, namjoon interrupted, “v, stay here with angel. me and sunshine will get the jewel and once i tell you the signal, the both of you take route B,”

taehyung didnt have the heart to go against his words, the aura namjoon emitted just from his expression told taehyung that there were no time for discussion

before namjoon could enter the laser-filled room, you held him back by his sleeve and shot him a smile “stop worrying in that big head of yours and get that damn jewel,”

a small smile crept onto his lips, yet worry never left his features

as namjoon and hoseok disappeared into the room, taehyung tended to your wounds with the mini first aid box jimin had made for everyone

the bullet was probably still lodged in your arm but taehyung had to make sure the wound had been disinfected before tying it up from wrapping a quick bandage over it

whilst you looked out for anymore oncoming guards

amidst the silence, taehyung was curious and he could never really contain that curiosity

“so you confessed to him yet?” taehyung looked back into your wide ones before returning his attention to tying up the bandage

“we’re on a mission, v. not now,” you groaned rubbing your temples with your free arm

“i’m just asking. besides you should do that soon before i do it myself,” he shrugged, tying a second knot to ensure it doesnt fall off

“or i’ll help tell too,” a voice echoed in your intercoms, mischievous giggles you could never mistake for someone else

“rj i swear to god, you’re supposed to watch out for us, not listen into our conversations so you can, i dont know, ‘spill the tea’.” once your wound was treated, you held up your rifle and watched out for the hallway on the right while taehyung watched out for the left

but when the sound of alarms rang throughout the building, you just knew namjoon and hoseok had already gotten their hands on the jewels

but you werent leaving until namjoon had given the word

“get ready, v. this is gonna be a bumpy ride,” you huffed, aiming your gun to the right while taehyung looked through his scope “i’m always ready,” he smirked

with every bullet you fired, the burning sensation in your wound grew even more, but you couldnt let the pain distract you from one of the most important missions that you had been given

and if namjoon were to know the pain you were in, he wouldn’t let you out of headquarters for an entire month

once the first wave of guards were wiped out, namjoon’s voiced echoed throughout everyone’s intercoms, taehyung giving you a knowing look as you nodded your head

with the rush of adrenaline, you and taehyung made way for route B, never letting your guard down as you fetched a grenade from your pocket

once you entered a single hallway, you blew up the side the both of you had entered from and kept running

and as much as your lungs burned and the pain in your arm began to worsen, you couldnt let it bring you or anyone else down

the door at the end of the hallway swings open

and you’re more than relieved to see jimin and jungkook, even if your eyes had tricked you at first glance from their disguises

“quicken your pace slowpokes, the rest are already catching up,” jungkook teased, jogging off to start the truck while jimin made sure you came out of there before the soldiers could

once everyone had hopped into the truck, jimin checked your wounds for infections 

but taehyung did an amazing job at keeping it clean and covered

“rj, any sign of rm or hope?” you groaned into your intercoms, jimin redoing your bandages as you looked out for any possible danger

but jin doesnt reply and your panic rises

jimin carefully ties up the bandage and watches over your frightened expression, your brows furrowing even more with every breath you took

“rj?rj?”

“calm down angel, he’s probably helping them in escaping. we’ll see them when we get back to headquarters, alright? remember the rule?” taehyung reassured you, looking at you through the rear-view mirror

“get back safe at all cost when he says the word,” you grumble, putting your attention to the grim scenery outside

something didnt feel right but orders were orders

once everyone alighted from the truck, jimin took out the necessary medicine for the wounds he had to treat

“if its just a cut, wash it and you’ll be fine,” jimin shooed the rest away as he tended to you on the sofa

“why does she get all the treatment,” taehyung raises a brow, tossing his bulletproof vest to the side 

“because unlike some of you, she’s an actual angel,” jimin shrugged, picking out his tweezers and a cotton ball drenched in alcohol

“it’s gonna hurt but we cant have you with a bullet in your arm for the rest of your life,” he chuckled, handing you a handkerchief to bite and relieve the pain onto as he began his work

in half an hour, jimin managed to remove the bullet and close up the wound, not allowing the others to disturb you while you went to rest in your room

but all you could do was pace around your room, your fingers fidgeting around with anything you could get a hold of

a soft knock on your door made you think it was jimin

but when you finally see the face that had been in your head the past few hours, you let out a long and relieved sigh

“missed me too much?” he chuckled until you nearly knocked him down with your hug

“hell yeah i did. you think i wouldnt?” you mumbled into his sweaty and stained clothes

but you didnt mind because he was finally back, safe and sound and in one whole piece

“did your get your wound treated?” he asked, gently peeling you off of him to check your arm while you were too busy admiring his face

you were so in the moment to not realize namjoon staring back at you

“dont ever do that again,” you mumble, a slight tremore in your voice but your eyes remain in contact with his

“angel you know i had to-”

“how can i let my childhood crush run out there like some dumbass. you think i can stand to lose my best friend?”

you were teary-eyed at this point, while he looked back at you in confusion and concern

“wait what was the first part?” he muttered, unsure if what he heard was true or not

“i like you a lot you idiot. why do you think i always cuddle up to you after a mission, or when you’re the one who worries the hell out of me the most or that-”

you were cut off with his lips planted on yours and you could feel his lips curl into a small smile

once he parted away from you, his smile stretched so far that his dimples seemed to deepen with every second

while your cheeks turned bright red under his gaze

“i’ve been waiting too long to hear that from you,”

“then you should’ve grown a pair and confessed to me, you handsome dork,” playfully nudging him

until namjoon once again, loses his footing and tumbles onto the floor, bringing you along with him onto the hard floor

the both of you groaned in pain

but your door swings open, revealing jimin with bag of medicine but his face who once had a concerned smile on his face turned into a devilish smirk

“so the lover birds finally confessed huh? and already skipping many bases,,, i’ll just leave so the both of you can continue,”

jimin giggled like a high school girl as he closed the door 

but the shout of announcement that vibrated the walls was a clear sign that the others were NOT going to let the both of you live

a/n: im just gonna post whatever i want at this point and finish up all my wips :///