#especially now that im (possibly) becoming more consistent with how i draw her

[doravinta]

some old(ish) stuff i have yet to post here

this is really just a comparison of the beginning of gia's story vs her endgame look. (that i actually like??)

[lamb-leaf]

I want to make it clear what happened in the simpbot server owned by siliconealien last night that led to ~20 members either leaving voluntarily or being kicked or banned. I feel this is especially pertinent as the original conversation has now been deleted from the server.

The atmosphere in the simpbot server has always been a very us vs them mentality, where you're either on Alien's side, or you become one of the many people kicked for being involved in a conversation about questioning administration.

The following screenshots compiled by multiple members show how this dynamic came to a head last night, with me beginning the conversation to where I wait for her response. After which I am unceremoniously kicked, along with many others.

Not once is my original question ever addressed. And she continuously ignores my specific statements while lobbing vague accusations at me.

I contacted people in the screenshots and asked them how much they wanted to be omitted or censored. The one person i couldn't contact, i censored as a precaution. I'm not omitting the mods or the people who defend alien because i need to make the server atmosphere towards even minor disagreements very apparent.

Everything is presented chronologically, with me showing minor message overlap where possible to show the contiguity of the conversation. All users’ censor colors remain consistent throughout. Black is used for the people who wished to be omitted entirely and anything said specifically about them.

So this started when I found out a server member had been kicked, as simpbot has a bot that announces in the general channel when someone leaves, so that all departures have the server members’ attentions drawn to it. And this was the stated reason in the public mod-logs channel

=

I disagree heavily with the tone and genuinely wondered what had happened to this person. As the mod-logs are public, I thought it fine to ask about this in another public channel. It's good I did because other people had questions as well

=

This is alien's response to our inquiries, which still doesn't answer my original question. She also 1) throws accusations at me, and 2) points out that she kept me even though she disliked me as if she was doing me a favor

=

I responded to her, where I addressed her accusations directly and explained those instances, as not everyone had been there for all the conversations. I don't want her accusing me of things that no one has context for.

And to follow up on the point of context, the screenshot is from me dming her asking about the publicization of the contributors on a project I am running. She clearly says “Everyone had indicated to me”, something that requires contacting everyone. When I asked the contributors, many said they hadn’t been contacted. And I know I speak on it in the screenshot, but I feel it important to reiterate that this was a matter of privacy and safety, and Alien did not receive consent from the contributors before making it public.

=

She continues to not address anything I say, instead ending with an “I literally do not care about the vocal minority” (20 people left or were removed), and her mod steps in to respond. Again, the screenshot Clearly says “Everyone had indicated to me.” But the mod says “Alien didn’t say she messaged everyone individually”

=

I have Genuinely no clue what point the mod was trying to make here, but i understand it's a stressful situation moving quickly, so maybe they misunderstood something? And other people also weigh in

=

I've blacked out the parts that involve someone who requested to be omitted, but I do want to show that alien apologized for an accident. And then goes right back to ignoring my points and then quotes me as saying something I do not remember saying. She also says I was “always welcomed” in the last screenshot

=

I want to give her time to respond cuz she did say she's exhausted. And so remember how she said I was welcome? These are my last messages in the server. I was kicked some time after this. She never responded to me.

=

I genuinely don't remember the "sorry" thing from the last screenshot two tweets ago. The only time I say "im sorry for x thing" is in a statement of sympathy. But I have issues with tone and it may have come off rudely. If it did, I'm sorry. But until I have evidence of it, yeah, no I'm not gonna say sorry

Alien has done nothing but make accusations that she doesn't follow up. If there's evidence of the wrongdoing I've done, I want to see it. I'm more than happy to say I fucked up.

But that's something of a rampant issue in simpbot. Everything is based on Alien's word, and her word alone. Her wanting to curate who's in her server is not a big deal on its own.

Her kicking people who disagree with her, drawing attention to it, attaching insulting messages to their departures, removing evidence of people disagreeing with her, surrounding herself with people who defend her based only on her word even when presented with contradictory evidence?

It's all manipulative fearmongering. Server members are afraid to become the Other. And people left cuz they couldn't take it anymore. Or, like me, we were pruned for disagreeing, or even having the most lukewarm agreements that inquiries should be made. The messages above from those not agreeing congruently with Alien were deemed kickable/bannable offenses.

And I have nothing but sympathy for all the people who've been hurt by her behavior or betrayed by those they thought were their friends

And if anyone wasn't there to see what happened, but have had your reservations about the atmosphere in simpbot, you don't have to be afraid of her. You're not alone and there are many people who share your discomfort and a big whole fandom out here to make friends in

[goffilolo]

Revival of Midoriya Izuku chapter 3

It’s been 84 years huh? As always the fanfic is up on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16929483/chapters/52652386

also im aware of like some formatting issues with the fic when it comes to tumblr, so reading it on ao3 might be better if you particularly care about like italics and what not, but otherwise it’s all the same stuff.

“Move your ass Boom Boom Bitch, I wanna get there early!” shouted Izuku, as him and Bandit sat on rather stylish, but uncomfortable couch in the Bakugous’ living room that was probably worth more than both of them put together, which probably wasn’t even that much anyway since they’re both garbage, but it’s about the principle of the thing.

“Shut your mouth you Trash Twink, I’ll get there when I get there! And what the fuck are you doing in my house?” screamed Bakugou all the way from upstairs, although with his voice being as explosive as his quirk he might as well be standing right next to you considering the damage he does to everyone’s eardrums.

Speaking of hearing damage “Katsuki!!! Is that how you talk to our guest you rude brat?! Get over here!” exclaimed Aunt Mitsuki.

“Shut it old hag! Deku’s not a guest, he’s just an annoying cockroach that invites himself wherever he wants and does whatever he wants!” which is a fair point, considering Izuku has invited himself to Bakugou’s first day at UA for less than wholesome reasons. Some people might see it as the ultimate bitch slap to Bakugou’s ego (partially true), but for the most part it’s merely a testament of how far Izuku has come, considering he now only sees UA as a place where he can flirt with Tensei’s hot brother, rather than a means of accomplishing some bullshit dreams... But it’s not like Kacchan knows any of this, so he can fuck off.

If you were to ask Izuku what his deal with Bakugou was, he would reply “Best friends, duh” with enough sarcasm to last you the next ten years. If you were to press for any specifics his reply would be more along the lines of “I dunno, get the fuck out of my apartment” followed by having Trash Bandit sent after you. The bottom line was, his relationship with Bakugou was complicated, as were most thing in Izuku’s life, but that’s not unusual.

Izuku’s presence at the Bakugou household though? That’s quite unusual, yet more likely than you’d think.

And although the screaming match between the two Bakugous was ever so entertaining Izuku had places to be, and guys to seduce, so “Leave it Auntie” he exclaims in a dismissive manner “We don’t want to rile him up too much, otherwise he ain’t gonna get that 30-day chip from the anger management that he’s been gunnin’ for” he adds half-jokingly.

“I know, I know” she says “But you’d think he would act a little nicer by now, after all these months of therapy.”

“Wouldn’t expect miracles if I were you Auntie, you know what the say; Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree ” replies the boy with a shiteating grin as he motions towards Bakugou descending down the stairs, not missing the way Mitsuki flinched ever so slightly at his rather obnoxious comment.

“And to think you used to be such a nice boy yourself, I used to always tell your mother how great it would’ve been if Katsuki was more like you” she says in a mix of bittersweet nostalgia and regret.

“Yeah well, considering the shit I got for being nice , I think from now on I’d rather be a bastard and then some” exclaimed Izuku as he got up from the couch with Bandit in tow and made his way towards Bakugou. The other boy was getting ready to leave as well and his excitement for the day was concealed even more poorly than his mother’s discomfort at the current conversation “Have a good one Auntie!”

And with that, the two teenagers and one (1) sheep were on their way.

“Kacchan please , not everything is about you” said Izuku exasperatedly, hurrying over to the only empty seat on the train.

“Like hell it isn’t! This was supposed to be MY DAY, my first day at the school of my fucking dreams, and you’re trying to ruin it by following me around dressed like a dollar stripper!” replied Bakugou in a whisper-scream. He may have anger issues but he wasn’t a dumbass and the two of them were already drawing enough attention as it was. It wasn’t exactly easy to remain unnoticed on a train while carrying a green sheep; a task which fell on Bakugou, because Izuku was a weak-noodle-arm-bitch.

“First of all, I’m flattered that you think I’m worth a dollar” said the weak-noodle-arm-bitch in question “And second of all, this is my best outfit.” Said best outfit consisted of a worn out tank top that had THE HOES written on it in what once was a glittery pink; a pair of booty shorts with ENEMY OF STATE hand stitched onto the backside and rainbow patterned knee socks. The look was completed with a pair of pink platform crocs, because Izuku had standards ... and because he was short.

“God I hate you” murmured Bakugou.

“Don’t I know it Kacchan?”

The rest of the train ride was spent in silence.

It wasn’t until they actually reached the gates of the school that Bakugou had a thought; one that he probably should’ve had before they even left his house, but having a coherent thought while carrying a sheep and bickering with the sheep’s owner about whether the sheep should be referred to as a dog or not is in all fairness not possible.

“They won’t let you in” he said, voicing the sudden epiphany.

“Sure they will” replied Izuku.

“Oh yeah? How? Deku, you don’t fuckin’ go to this school, you don’t go to ANY school!” shouted Bakugou, because they were no longer on the train, therefore arguing with a lunatic stripper looking guy was now acceptable.

Izuku for the most part did not have a problem with that, because not only did he love having petty fights with people, he also loved proving them wrong, especially when everyone and their grandma accuses him of being a high school drop out.

“Shinjuku Metropolitan would beg to differ” he says, dropping the metaphorical bomb on the unsuspecting dipshit that is his childhood friend, after which he continues to walk, crossing the gates of UA High like he owns the damn place.

After about a minute of Bakugou standing frozen in shock, he finally snapped out of it when Bandit decided to start chewing on his uniform “Oi, hold the fuck up!” screamed the blond as he followed Izuku inside, while the sheep was being dragged along like a betrayed ragdoll  “Did you just say Shinjuku Metropolitan?!”

“Kacchan, you know I can’t hold you, you’re too heavy” replies the other teen, while pointedly ignoring Bakugou’s question and the looks he’s been getting from the students.

“Don’t change the subject shitty Deku! How the fuck did your ass get into a top non-hero high school in the whole damn Tokyo you bitch?”

“What, like it’s hard?”

“I fuckin’ swear to God-”

“Do it! Pull the trigger piglet!”

“WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?”

Their pointless quarrel, which was on a steady way into becoming a straight up brawl (Izuku having already pulled out his axe and lighted a cigarette using one of Bakugou’s warning explosions) came to a stop when they were interrupted by one of UA’s teachers, although in Izuku’s opinion she made a wrong career choice, considering being a Dominatrix probably paid more.

On another note, when someone asks you ‘what’s going on?’ that doesn’t mean they’re actually interested in whatever is happening at the moment, it means ‘stop’, therefore Izuku’s answer to that question, which usually involves something along the lines of “You see, I’m small, horny and full of rage, and I have no outlet for these emotions” is rarely appreciated. That is not to say that the lack of appreciation is going to stop him from spawning whatever dumb shit comes to his mind when faced with the judgement from authority figures. If anything it makes everything worse.

“That’s just how we flirt” replied the teen instead, all the while looking THE Pro-Hero Midnight dead in the eye and putting out his cigarette on Bakugou’s uniform jacket. Bakugou, for the most part was unable to even be mad at the cigarette burn considering he was busy recovering from being metaphorically punched in the kidneys by that line.

“And why aren’t you wearing uniform?” she asks suspiciously, pointing at Izuku’s attire.

“Oh, I don’t go here” he replied casually.

“Then pray tell , why are you in this school?”

“To get laid”

“TO WHAT?!” screamed Bakugou in surprise.

At this point Midnight took out her phone (no, her costume doesn’t have pockets, please don’t ask where she keeps it) and clicked on one of three contacts she keeps on her speed dial.

“Principal Nedzu, we got a situation…”

After telling Bakugou not to worry and that he will see him later in class, Izuku was dragged to the principal’s office by Midnight.

On the way there he tried cracking up another joke, telling her that his safe word was ‘avocado’. She did not appreciate that one either. For those of you wondering what happened to Bandit, the sheep ended up following Bakugou, much to the blond’s dismay.

Now, being sent to a principal’s office, especially of a school that you don’t even attend is usually a sign that you have royally fucked up. Not for Izuku though, because he had a plan! Contrary to the common belief, Izuku is not dumb. The fall didn’t kill off any of his brain cells, only his ability to give a shit, which made life much easier since he no longer had to worry about things like: people’s opinions, social norms, laws and heteronormativity.

Anyway, back to the plan. Izuku was not dumb, therefore even he knew that wandering around UA while not attending the school would not fly. He needed a way to stay, and for that he needed the guy who runs the whole shitshow; Nedzu.

Which is why the moment Midnight opens the door to the office Izuku stomps in like a man on a mission and stops right in front of an animal of questionable origin in a suit that is allegedly UA’s principal. A little unusual, but if a scumbag like Endeavour can hold the title of No. 2 Hero in Japan, then an animal can run a school.

The principal in question was calmly sitting on a couch and drinking tea, totally unconcerned with whatever bullshit Izuku was about to throw at him.

“Now, what seems to be the issue with this young man?” asked Nedzu.

“This young man-” said Izuku, pointing to himself in a rather cocky manner “has a message for you!”

“And what would that message be?”

The principal’s question was answered with what Izuku can only think of as the ultimate power move, or in this case; a literal ace up the sleeve. The boy proceeded to pull out a Monopoly “Get out of Jail” card out of his shorts (since he technically wasn’t wearing any sleeves) and slam it on the table right in front of Nedzu.

While to an outsider the current situation might seem absurd, it is important to remember that Izuku had a plan; one that could’ve never come to a fruition without a little help from the most unexpected person, which is why that card was no ordinary Monopoly card, but a very specific reminder that only Principal Nedzu would know the meaning of, and when he picked it up and flipped it around, the neatly written message on the back made its presence known.

It read: “You owe me one. - Hisashi”

“My dad says ‘Hi!’ ” exclaimed Izuku, taking one look at Nedzu’s face and knowing that he already won.

Was cashing in on a favour that his dad secured like 10 years ago a morally good decision? Debatable, but it got the job done so he’s not gonna complain. All that mattered was that Izuku now had a pass to enter the UA grounds whenever he pleased and nobody could stop him, and so here he was about to enter the classroom where Kacchan is supposed to be in. The bell hasn’t rung yet so he still had some time and who knows, maybe the handsome guy from the police station was in the same class?

With that in mind he opened the gigantic door and made his way into the classroom and was met with what looked like a pissing contest between his crush and his childhood friend.

“REMOVE YOUR FOOT FROM THAT DESK! SUCH AN ACTION IS INSULTING TO THOSE WHO CAME TO UA BEFORE US AS WELL AS THE CRAFTSMEN WHO MADE THIS DESK!”

“LIKE I CARE! WHAT MIDDLE SCHOOL ARE YOU FROM, YOU EXTRA ?!”

Ah yes, pissing contest at its finest, which meant that Izuku had options . The most obvious course of action would be siding up with Tenya and taunting Kacchan, which is not something Izuku would ever say no to. However , it also happens that the object of his affections had a massive boner for rules and authority, which is the exact opposite of everything Izuku stands for, so siding up with Kacchan it is.

And so he made his way to the pair of bickering teenagers and promptly pushed Kacchan’s feet off the desk, earning a scoff from the blond and an approving but baffled look from Iida, which only lasted for about 2 seconds, because Izuku being the gay disaster that he is simply HAD to ruin it all by claiming the desk as his sitting spot and giving Tenya the most ridiculous bedroom eyes that had Kacchan fake gagging like his life depended on it.

“Umm...Izuku, was it?” asked Tenya, feeling awkward under the other boy’s intense gaze.

“It sure was” replied the boy, feeling happy about leaving enough of an impression to be remembered from all those weeks ago “Fancy seeing you here, huh?”

“Indeed-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Deku!” exclaimed Bakugou, completely fed up with the cringeworthy display in front of him “Just tell four-eyes that you came here because you wanted to see him and be done with it!”

“WHAT?”

“Kacchan, not now! I’m trying to put on some moves!”

“Well your moves are shit-”

“Hey, aren’t you that guy from the news who stabbed a villain in the eye with an axe?!” shouted one of the students while pointing at Izuku. There was something ironic about the fact that it was his stunt on live TV from 2 weeks ago that got everyone’s heads turning and not his iconic outfit, or inappropriate behaviour, or literally anything else about him. Like that’s just rude ok? And interrupting him while he’s trying to flirt? Also rude.

“Bitch, I might be” he replied anyway, because his reputation was on the line and because at this point literally everyone has gathered around the desk that he sat on, so things were way past the point of return. People were throwing questions and accusations at him left and right, Trash Bandit is nowhere to be found and his quil flask is not full enough for this bullshit. At this point Bakugou simply got up from his seat and sat at the back of the room, as far away from this nonsense as possible.

“It’s you!”exclaimed the boy with dual coloured hair and equally mismatched eyes “You’re the guy who keeps T-posing in front of my house. Can you please stop?!” he asked with the most deadpan face Izuku has ever seen despite his voice being filled with desperation.

“Look, I T-pose in front of a lot of houses so you’re gonna have to be more specific” he replied sarcastically — despite knowing exactly who he was talking to — since it probably wasn’t a good moment to mention that you’re besties with that person’s mom because you were both stuck in the same loony bin and so you already know all the family drama and have dedicated a good portion of your time to harassing her abusive piece of shit husband…especially with like 20 people around you.

“You’re the one who egged my limo!” shouted one of the girls at the back. She was a very tall girl with long, dark hair tied in a seemingly gravity defying ponytail and a kind face. She had an air of a distinguished lesbian about her, which Izuku could respect even if she was rich if the limo comment was anything to go by. He egged several limos in his lifetime because seeing rich people out in public makes him go apeshit, as it should, so really how is he supposed to remember everyone?

“And I will egg it again!” promised Izuku “When I see rich people out and about it triggers my fight-or-fuck response”

“Don’t you mean fight-or-flight?” she asked.

“No”

“Are you ok?”

“Not in the slightest”

And with that more people joined in on the conversation, including a particular girl who very much looked like an alien with her bright pink skin and black sclera who ended up complementing his outfit, which thank fuck someone here actually had good taste , as well as a guy who ended up being Ms Shouji’s son, and the only reason he found out was because the guy recognised his antics based on the gossip his mom told him and isn’t that a small fuckin world? And in the middle of it all laid an inconspicuous yellow sleeping bag that has been conveniently ignored by everyone for the sake of the plot up until now.

The sleeping bag began to seemingly unzip by itself and soon enough Bandit’s head poked out of it.

“Bandit! There you are”

“Baaah!”

“Guys! Look at this dog!” exclaimed one of the students who Izuku thought looked like a personification of weed, but he wasn’t going to say that. At least the guy knew what he was talking about.

“I’m pretty certain it’s a sheep-” added Tenya, taking his role as the last standing voice of reason in this room very seriously, even though his voice has practically drowned in the sea of teenagers chanting ‘good doggo’, similarly to how one might feel if they were standing at a dance floor while Baby Got Back started playing.

It’s also important to note that while all of this was happening, Bakugou who has sat himself at the back of the room was forced to witness the chaotic force that is Izuku interacting with multiple people at once while being able to convince about 20 of them to refer to his sheep as a dog, and in that moment he turned around staring into the void and asked himself “Am I having a fuckin stroke?”

“Nah, he’s always like that” replied the one person who was sat at the back along with him that Bakugou previously did not bother to notice.

“And how would you know, you damn extra?” asked Bakugou somewhat offended, because sure him and Izuku were not on the friendliest terms and the whole incident from last year really changed him and what not. But they still knew each other their whole lives, so really that had to count for something and Bakugou was not willing to compromise on that with some random extra who looked like a Tinky Winky humansona on drugs.

Unfortunately Bakugou was not able to get an answer because the entire class was interrupted by a homeless looking guy coming out of the yellow sleeping bag to shame student kind. “If you’re here to socialise, then get out” he said. Soon enough the room was filled with a tense silence as the students were unsure of what to expect next.

“It took 8 seconds for you to quiet down. Time is a precious resource. You lot aren’t very rational, are you?” asked the man as he walked to the front of the classroom, making it very clear that he was in fact their teacher. The man was rather tall and unkept, his hair was long and slightly curled, similar to Izuku’s own and the outfit he wore could only be described as a goth onesie. There was something very familiar about him but Izuku couldn’t quite make out what it was supposed to be.

However, just because Izuku’s memory aligns very closely with a slice of swiss cheese doesn’t mean that the same can be said about the teacher in question. As soon as he turned around to get a good look at his new class his eyes fell on Izuku and his face has swiftly shifted from that of practiced disinterest to shock and recognition that Izuku honestly was not expecting.

“What are you doing here problem child?” asked the man with a certain degree of disbelief in his voice. Once again there was something very familiar about him and the way he addressed Izuku and wait a minute did he just call me a problem child? That can’t be-

“Uncle Shouta” exclaimed the boy in a way that felt uncertain, yet childishly hopeful “Is that you?”

“Of course it is brat, who else would I be?” he replied with a hint of amusement.

[bibbykins]

Okay im absolutely dead 💀 when I tell you that I wasn’t expecting this 🌚🌚 I mean it. I automatically assumed that hobis fic would be the softest out of them all ya know considering he is everyone’s hope. BUT THIS?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM MOST CERTAINLY PLEASANTLY SURPRISED 😯 honestly I feel like it was the most realistic fic out of the soft yandere stories, her episodes, the trauma she went through and her positive development was amazingly constructed considering it’s a one-shot -pt 1

-pt 2- so yeah I absolutely adore the fact that you approached this plot in a cautionary way ya know, by adding hobis less than normal inner thoughts of caging her (and emphasising this in multiple scenes) you Allow your readers to grasp the fact that those thoughts are definitely toxic despite the rose coloured glass they are both seeing through. (Him more so than her) WAIT IMMA DO ANOTHER PART MY WORD COUNT IS TOO HIG

Pt 3- Okay anyways, I especially love how you set up what I see as her mind break which allowed her to with time of course become completely and utterly dependant on him, (maybe in the future she’d be codependent as well? We never know) NOW I am always the type to look too far into things but topics like this are always intriguing to me which is where my like for reading yandere comes from. I do not meant to pick apart your story at all this was meant to be a appreciation post but

Pt 4 I think- I completely apologise if it seems like I’m making your story out to be harsher than it truely is. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated this particular story, I could go on forever honestly if your ever bored and want me to talk your ear off about your stories istg I will I have so much more to say (meaning this in the best way possible) just yeah I loved the sense of realism while still keeping the fairytale tradition of the soft yandere series (I LOVE EMBROIDERY🌚 

THESE ARE THE KINDA ASKS I THRIVE ON, ANON. Don’t ever apologize for your creative mind or enthusiasm, its something to be proud of! It makes me so so happy to see these asks and see people notice these elements I write in there. I absolutely never want to romanticize or promote the yandere behavior, which is why I tag these relationships as unhealthy, but I write them because it’s interesting to write and important to recognize that unhealthy relationships can be living, but they cannot be good. I also enjoy writing trauma in a realistic way, as someone with trauma, I constantly see stereotypes about my mental illnesses etc, and it’s hard to see because trauma is already hard enough to deal with as is. That being said, I always put warnings but sometimes it can be so so hard to read. My Yoongi fic was difficult for me to write on the darker scene, but it didn’t hurt me, and I really don’t want anyone to hurt themselves on accord of my own writing. 

Absolutely pick apart my writing, my writing is totally meant to be picked apart! Literature is my favorite thing to study, and I have consistently taken literature classes each semester because while it is not my major, I still thoroughly enjoy it, and am ever grateful to have a platform to attempt literary concepts I learn out on. My content is not very light and thus, has several layers that I love seeing addressed. I also love how mentioned the fairytale aspect, My mom would not let me watch anything Disney princess because of the toxicity of the relationships depicted but never being addressed, although she did not limit my viewing in any other department as a kid which is kinda ironic. From that though, I did draw a lot of inspiration from the story concepts and thinking on how unhealthy it is and uncomfortable it is. Despite how beautiful the story looks, it doesn’t change the relationship to be good. Talk my ear off, anon, and I shall return the favor. Thank you for your words and support, both mean a whole lot to me  ❤️

[askcatvirgil]

my cat has recently taken to peeing on textiles in the house. now she's in vacation (during the summer she stays with my aunt) but im dreading her return. i love her more than anything, but its becoming very hard for me to cope with the extra stress. and the smell is very hard to get rid of :( idk what happened, she used to be the cleanest cat and she doesnt even act like we pissed her off! any tips for helping her please?

Absolutely! 

So the first thing to do while she’s gone is get yourself a good enzyme remover and get rid of all the smell in the house. Nature’s miracle is the one I use but the key thing is ‘enzyme remover.’ That will actually break down the ammonia and get rid of that smell. 

The next step is to try to determine the root cause of the behavior. If she used to pee in the litter box and now she doesn’t, something has changed to set that behavior in motion. We just need to find out what. 

Some common reasons for cats to pee outside the litter box are 1) medical reasons (if the litter box is uncomfortable to her she will not use it), 2) cleanliness reasons (if the litter box is too smelly she won’t use it), and 3) territorial insecurities. Let’s look at each of these possibilities. 

1) Medical reasons: is your cat declawed? I’ll spare you my lecture on why I’m so opposed to declawing cats, and suffice it to say that if she IS declawed, then the kind of litter you’re using could have begun to hurt her paws. Declawed cats have lots of problems with arthritis as they get older, and boxes with coarse or grainy litter are going to be hard for them to use. If this is the case, try getting a softer litter. They make them the consistency of sawdust pellets; those are pretty good. Also, make sure she is easily able to get into and out of the box itself. It should be open and low to the ground (no ramps or covers, etc.) in an easily accessible part of the house. 

2) Cleanliness. Cats are fastidious and like their litter boxes to be cleaned on a regular basis. If she shares the house with other cats, there should be at least 1 litter box per animal, plus one extra (cats are very territorial, so forcing them to share space can start causing territory marking issues). Additionally they should ideally be scooped at least once a day, and changed out completely once every week or two. The litter box should again be open–closed litter boxes tend to get incredibly smelly over time, making them very unfavorable to the cats–and easy to access, and plenty big. 

3) Let’s get into the last and most likely reason for her sudden fondness of fabrics: territorial insecurity. 

I’ll add a brief disclaimer that I’m not 100% sure what you mean by ‘textiles’ but in case you mean ‘clothes,’ that sounds VERY much like territorial insecurity. Cats mark their territory by scent–it’s why they rub up against us, why they rub their mouths on everything, why they spray. (And yes, even female cats scent spray). When they start spraying on things we use a lot–our clothes, our furniture, our bedding, what have you–what they’re trying to do is overlay their scent with ours. It’s a way of reassuring themselves that yes, they belong here too, because here is their scent. It’s a way of trying to say, “I’m here I’m here notice me please I’m here hey!!! Hey!! I matter! I’m part of this family too!!” 

Now, figuring out the cause of this insecurity is what might be tricky, but honestly addressing the litter box concerns could take care of a lot of it. Making sure she has her own space to go to the bathroom (especially if there’s another animal in the house, maybe a new cat or a dog that wasn’t there before) and a place to retreat that’s hers (places up high are ideal, and if they look out a window even better!) will help a lot. Look into getting catwalk shelves so she can retreat up high and survey her territory. 

You might also make sure there aren’t strays around your house. But if that were the case I’d expect to see her marking along walls rather than on clothes. So I’m guessing we’re looking at territorial insecurity here. 

The biggest takeaway here should be the litter box. Make sure it’s clean, that there are plenty of them, that it’s accessible to her easily and that she’s physically comfortable when inside it. If you combine that with the good enzyme cleaner, then hopefully she’ll remember where she’s supposed to go. 

If she persists with the odd behavior though, then please get her checked out by the vet. Cats are creatures of habit; they don’t dramatically change behavior without some kind of root cause. 

Good luck friend! Let me know how it goes and if nothing works we can look into some other things together! I know there are more things to do for territorial insecurity but I’m drawing a bit of a blank so I’m going to go do some research, but this ought to at least get you a good start! 

Oh, a quick P.S.: Cats don’t urinate out of spite. So you definitely didn’t piss her off! There’s something else going on and once we figure out what we’ll be good to go!

[sometipsygnostalgic]

xenoblade chronicles  2 rapidfire review

π after i started writing up a 5000 word review and was still on the “character” section ive decided to make a rapidfire version to get to the fucking point. 

Story - at the end of the day, it’s a tale about how to deal with all the pain and insecurity that life throws at you. how to dig down deep and find a way to continue in what you may interpret as a dreadful world. it also has some of the most satisfying mysteries and plot resolutions i’ve ever seen in a videogame. utterly touching themes. unfortunately gets a bit too shonen at points especially with the protagonist. also quite possibly a lowkey harem anime.  

Story rating - 8 out of 10.   

Characters -  mostly all amazing in the english version. 

Rex - a top lad. your best mate. however, becomes a total flawless gary stu pretty quickly. better than many protagonists out there. i like the way he gets people to open up by acting so casually friendly around them. 7 out of 10.

Pyra - unfortunately the weakest character in the main cast. has 3 forms that are treated as different characters for some reason, and no emotions beyond “sad” and “in love with rex”. her mythra form is a slightly better character who will talk to other cast members and sass down people. however mythra also comes across as weak and overly emotionally fragile at times, considering she is supposed to be the Master Blade. i suspect she exists for rex to have 4 3 girlfriends at once.   

Azurda -  dragon grandpa. subversive in that when he dies for the hero to move on from the homeland, he immediately resurrects himself as a cute furry thing that sleeps in rex’s helmet. best videogame decision ever. gives top advice.

Nia - welsh. double furry. how old is she? 6? most useful NPC. swears a hell of a lot. hilarious sassmaster with an intriguing story and well-rounded motivations. consistently interesting relationships with other cast members up to the end of the game. even remains the same after receiving her compulsory magical girl transformation. has the most awesome magical girl transformation. gives the main villain super cancer, causing him to blow up like harry potter’s aunt. probably the best character. lightly orbits the black hole of the rex harem, struggling to maintain geostational stability against the powers of fanservice.  

Dromarch - a good dad cat. there is not a lot else to say about dromarch, except that you can ride him, which is badass. he and azurda are the old dad types babysitting the kids. 

Tora - meh meh. actually likable mechanic child. why is this furry cat thing a key member of my party. despite rarely ever upgrading his blade he has made me basically immortal many times. nopon mask is underrated. masterpon is same at start of game as at end of game. that is to say he is an ambitious child, and a bit of a pervert. however, has terrible taste in upgrades. has many IRL blades pointed at him.  

Poppi - poppi artificial blade who speak like masterpon. poppi α has cool design. poppi α adorable and cool. due to being newborn blade, poppi have refreshing and truthful view on world. poppi have tragic artificial sister who almost die terribly after evil nopon brainwash!  poppi have most sad heartbreaking scene at end of game. however, poppi QT and poppi QT π designs can die in big fire.  poppi good at throwing shade. it endearing and special trait. 

Morag - technically the group normie. however, very weird. when you first see morag she reeks of pure chilled badassery. logical and with a strong sense of justice and compassion, morag starts off as an intimidating antivillain but becomes a staple member of the party. even though rex and the gang are fugitives in her city, she lets them leave because she senses they weren’t crooked ruffians and they had a purpose of their own. but she comes back to kick their ass when she thinks they’re causing more trouble, and is actually quite pissed off about rex and pyra holding back on her. has a sweet relationship with the emporer, her distant cousin/adoptive kid brother. morag learns on her adventure the value of the optimistic views the kids  around her have of the world, and says multiple times if more people thought like they did, maybe there wouldn’t be so much political nonsense  stopping people from living together peacefully. morag has a lot of pride and cannot deal with being oneupped. i love her.

Brighid - Morag’s wife blade who is one of many that struggles with the thought of losing her identity after regenning. has a diary of her past lives. uses it to taunt mythra about that one time she kicked her ass. pretends to be a little distant but low key super emotionally invested in the cast’s development. literally asked a main villain if she was like her past self that he knew, causing him to reconsider his entire philosophy on blades becoming completely different people when they’re reborn. bitchslaps rex that one time. Owns everybody at some point. such a beautiful character design that i never even noticed her chest is basically bare. 

shellhead Zeke - the prince... of NOTHING. wishes he was still a student. that one time he nearly died, he was probably impaled by a falling twig. enjoyed playing Team Rocket. surprisingly wise for a teenlike NEET. does not look after his precious turtle. potentially does have a thunder powered eye. however, definitely requires second contact lens. unfortunately not comparable to rex in combat especially as his Luck stat means using a legendary crystal on him is like throwing it away. 

Pandoria - i often forget pandoria is a blade because she is zeke’s girlfriend, also i never use her in battle due to his redundentness. well reknowned for also not looking after turtles properly. also well reknowned for slam dunking the prince over his nonsense while being equally silly.  

BAD GUYS

Jin - apparently has special people-drawing trait that makes all the good cast who know him shocked he is ordering such evil bastard things to happen. not entirely sure what that trait is. emo about much bad stuff that happen to him and his driver. wishes to never forget his life with his driver. dirty child killer.very aniime. why is he the only flesh eater whose core turns red?  okay character with decent enough motivation. was confused as to why Malos was following him until the very end. 

Malos - evil bastard. cheesy villain. you can kick his ass many times and he will get back up 3 minutes later and laugh at you while swallowing back the bile of a bitter defeat. is actually a little tragic by the end of the game. dies for no reason. makes morag jealous because he found his purpose in life, though im not sure what that is.  

Akhos - N3RD. probably the most likable member of Torna. had a silly Blade companion who he was really upset died. i like how he was sentimental about his ‘sister’ blade. 

Patroka - most forgettable Torna member. a little bit tsundere. 

Mikhail - grew on me significantly at the end though like Akhos and Patroka his backstory was unceremoniously dumped on your lap at the last second. must be a great fan of Prince Zeke as he’s heard of the term Blade Eater. also why has Mikhail got awesome blade powers and immortality when Zeke hasnt? maybe Mikhail is “possessing” the blade per se.  

Amalthus - emo bitch. stared God in the face and raised his middle finger. hypocritically creates flesh eaters then sends witch hunts out for them. i like that he reminded himself every day about how bad humanity was by doing his best to help people. so despite the praetor being this “benevolent” figure he had somehow manifested a being of pure hatred. 

Theres a lot of other people I cant be assed talking about right now.

Character rating - 9 out of 10. Even though some important characters arent as impactful as they should be, everybody is memorable and I can remember all of their damn names and backstories.  

Gameplay - not particularly amazing. battles are alright, RPG-wise, with orb breaking combos and cancelling being fun to use. but they’re highly limited by the fact you can only control 1 character at a time and there is no Co-op feature. they also take an incredibly long time, even for just one enemy encounter, and there can be unfair Spike damage moves that oneshot you. my most satisfying moment battling ever was when i was fighting Aeon, the final boss, and got a Full break for the first time... I decimated the fucker when he was at 60% health. 

Of course, those are just the battle mechanics. 

The game is full of complex mechanics that do nothing but add tedium. Every single quest in the game forces you to farm for certain “collectibles”, plants that grow in specific unlisted locations that respawn when you fast travel. Many character “affinity” upgrades, which can lock out certain areas of the map, special skills, or unique interactions, also require you to do this shit. A guide is NECESSARY for this.  There’s also the Merc Missions. Little did you know, you will need to complete Merc Missions to reach the end of many blade quests!!!you know what’s FUN? Waiting for a timer to pass after 25 fucking minutes!!!! this game has NO RESPECT FOR YOUR TIME WHATSOEVER. 

the biggest bullshit of all is when you’re locked out of the main story because a specific character on your team hasn’t unlocked level 3 of a specific skill, because there’s no way that you’d be able to unlock that by naturally playing the game as you have to go out of your way to fill the criteria and grind something or other for 20 minutes. 

This makes sidequests absolutely worthless.

The saving grace for the gameplay is probably the customizability of the blades themselves. Not so much the skills you can attach to each blade, but that you can unlock a number of fun characters to use, and they will have their own unique dialogue. The drivers and blades talking during battle also makes a 20 minute fight feel a lot quicker. 

Battle gameplay mechanics: 6 out of 10. Fun but could be better.  Sidequests, crafting, and field skill mechanics : 1 out of 10. Worthless trash that should never have been greenlit. 

Considering that you will be spending so much time on the gameplay, why even bother playing the game at all?

It’s very much the story that pushes the player to move onwards. If this game didn’t have such a fun cast and meaningful plot then I’d probably not have gotten past the first act. 

Music and Environments - Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is filled with vast, beautiful and diverse environments. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of interactivity with them other than killing monsters or foraging those bloody collectibles, but they’re beautiful enough with a diverse range of monster inhabitants that give them life. The MUSIC is godlike. My favourite track in the game would be the song used for the city in Tantal. Very ominous and beautiful hymn, sung in English. 

Music and environment rating - 8 out of 10.

Localisation - While many sneer at the localisation choices for this game I thought it brought it to life. Granted I have great bias as being a Welsh girl who is familiar with the differences in UK regional dialect, but it felt like the dialogue the characters were saying also had a heavy makeover to fit the new voices... I really don’t believe that Rex’s Japanese voice actor also sounded like a Top Lad, or that Nia’s japanese voice actor sounded as much like she was ready for a valleys bar fight.  However there are some clear obstacles as well - the characters seemed to have no idea of the context of their lines. This is obvious when they shout something for a long time. Rex’s “HIYAAAAAAAAH” and Nia’s “NOOOO MOOOOORE” sound comically off-tone when they are supposed to be epic. It’s the works of someone who read those lines off a script without knowing what was going on. Tora’s actor saying “meh meh” sounds like it was meant to be a COMPLETELY different noise. Morag and Zeke never go off-course, however. I think either they had an advantage with more visuals being completed by the time they were cast, or they just don’t have diverse enough dialogue in the game for it to have been an issue.

Localisation - 7.8/10 too much Meh. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Xenoblade chronicles 2 is a highly addictive game that pulls you to the finish line with an interesting plot and a cast you just can’t let go of. While Pyra is certainly the weakest link of the characters, and the game has some extremely goofy shonen scenes that it’s hard to take seriously, and oh dear me that’s an awful lot of boob shots, I had a lot of fun powering through it. I’m going to have a tough time letting go of this story and these characters. 

Unfortunately the gameplay itself is not similarly addictive, and becomes more of a chore for you to get to the next cutscene or funny interaction.

Final rating - 6.5 out of 10. While a worthwhile experience, the greatest story in the world cannot save this game from piss-standard design choices. It is probably better to spend your time on a game that doesn’t have anti-fun mechanics. But I’d be hard pressed if any had a cast that touched your hearts quite like that of Xenoblade Chronicles 2. 

[clownmoontoon]

I just read your Momo post and while i generally agree about it she's not really a common body type. And I say that for one reason. Her boobs are way to big for someone that skinny and athletic. Woman that naturally thin and muscular generally won't have much because since the fat get burned off (also cause hers are disproportionately large) And even then to be able to do the large amounts of fighting she does she'd need a high impact sports bra. Add that and the costume is better and realistic

i think the problem here is that i used only anime screen shots, which hirokoshi did not draw himself, bc i was making more of an emotional point than one specifically about her body and outward appearance

in the wiki it says this about her power and use of fat cells

“Momo’s body breaks down fat at a molecular level, which will then be re-used as material for her to shape into objects with her Quirk.[2] Because of this, considerable ingestion of food is necessary for the Quirk to be effective. This means she would likely become extremely under weight if used too much.“

momo has the quirk equivalent of an extremely high metabolism

so she must keep eating and constantly keep up her weight to properly use her quirk, and to not accidentally become underweight through overuse of her quirk

now check out this manga panel straight from the hands of horikoshi

SHE IS THICK

SHE HAS BELLY ROLLS, THICK THIGHS, THICK ARMS

you can tell that in the original art her boobs actually look PERF for her body type.

still the biggest in the class but they look naturally big

not like outrageous anime big haha

even in the anime character refs her boobs look perf for her body imo

a lot of the problem comes in how they are animated but thats on the production company, not on horikoshi

im guessing changes were made simply bc it was cheaper/easier to animate this way

HERE’S SOME MORE MANGA PICS SO EVERYONE CAN SEE HOW PERF MOMO’S TATAS FIT HER BOD THO

and about her not having a sports bra

“Her hero costume consists of a simple red skin-tight outfit that exposes most of the center of her torso, arms and legs, with a large light gold belt so she can more freely use her Quirk.”

any more fabric would limit what her quirk can produce and as my buddy @arr-jim-lad just pointed out to me this is probably a big reason as to why she did poorly during the tournamentshe could only use what she could make from her arms since they were all required to wear their gym uniform so no one has an unfair advantage

omg also when i said it was a super common body type i didnt mean “athletic bod + big boobs”

i meant its super common for lots of teens to go from flat chested child to big boobed child so fast they have no idea what to do about it, and they can be completely unaware of the change for a while. according to her wiki she’s 15 so its not only possible but entirely probable her character is just unaware of how her hero costume looks beyond “this is the most functional outfit”

i mean if it were made only for sex appeal why would horikoshi put a book of references on the back

“The Yaoyorictionary: This equipment is made of lexicon compiling all the constructs and materials that comes to Momo’s mind. It also has magnets attached to the cover and inside pages so that it doesn’t open or fall.”

damn what a sexy bookits not mentioned much in the anime but if you look up these characters on their wiki it describes in great detail the purposes behind their costumes

its not at all just aesthetics, everything about their designs has a very unique function to greater utilize their quirks!!

((imo uraraka’s is especially interesting!! really you should check it out!!))

AND THIS IS WHY I APPRECIATE HORIKOSHI

NOTHING IS THERE FOR NOTHING

EVERYTHING HAS A GREATER MEANING AND PURPOSE AND ITS FANTASTIC 

yes he didnt have to make a teenager w large breasts w a quirk that used her skin.

but i love that he did

bc he found a way to do it and make it natural and completely unsexualized

despite what the angries on tumblr would have you believe, there is absolutely no instances of momo being sexualized over her body or outfit by anyone other than mineta, and even then most characters act like he doesnt exist (except the blessed frog and lovely jiro who usually beat him for it)

AND AS SOMEONE WHO WAS A TEEN W LARGE BOOBS WHO HAS RARELY SEEN THIS TYPE OF CHARACTER IN ANYTHING WITHOUT BEING HORRIBLY SEXUALIZED YOU BETTER BELIEVE I ADORE MOMO AND HER PRACTICALITY AND REALISTIC BEHAVIOR ♡♡♡

[juuuzo]

Kaneki and Toukas child will live

(DISCLAIMER: This is my own opinion regarding the survivability of Kaneki and Toukas child. There's no actual proof that anything i'm saying is in fact true, and there's a possibility Ishida might just punch me in the gut and prove me wrong.)

Following the release of the latest chapter of Tokyo Ghoul:re, chapter 129, we receive confirmation that Touka is indeed pregnant, and with Kaneki as the father, the child is either a half-ghoul or half-human (im working on a meta on the genetic implications which ill post later on). While everyone has been theorizing about the possibility of a pregnancy since Ishida's drawing of Touka with a bloody belly and the burnt-womb poem; having finally received its validation, the fandom seems sure of one thing: the baby will die. Whether it will be through a natural miscarriage or during some kind of combat, the baby will certainly die. And with reason, after all, its our first time experiencing a ghoul pregnancy,of a hybrid nonetheless, and considering what we know (the ghoul mother absorbs the child, the child dies of malnutrition,etc), there's no hope for the baby. And yet, here I am,saying that I believe the child will live. Why? Well for various reasons:

1. It would be more tragic to have the child live

One of the main reasons readers believe the child is “bound to die” is because this is a tragedy manga. In fact, everything only happens in favor of this tragedy and only pain and suffering are allowed in the Tokyo Ghoul universe. So for all you sadists out there, I raise you the following question: Wouldn't it be even more tragic for the child to live? Think about it. If the baby were to die before birth, be it due to absorption or in combat, it would be sad, no doubt, but there wouldn't be that much of an impact in the story. Sure, Kaneki and Touka would suffer the loss of their infant, which would further cement the “tragic” aspect of Kaneki's life, but there was no hope that it would’ve lived anyway. Kaneki especially understands the stakes of this kind of pregnancy, and with the current situation the ghouls are in, he may even feel relieved the child didn’t come to be. Which then brings me to my point: it would be much more tragic for the child to survive. As of right now, the ghouls have mostly retreated into the depths of the 24th ward. The oggai are on patrol, killing anyone they find, adult or child. And we've seen in this chapter that the CCG has caught onto Goat and their hiding place. Especially, they'll be on the hunt for the King and his subordinates. Not only that, but the ghouls are in a dire situation. Food and resources are scarce, and the depths of the 24th ward consist mostly of ruins and broken down buildings. And we don't even know what's beyond the depths of the ward. Take all these factors into consideration and now imagine having a baby in these conditions. A newborn half-ghoul or half-human, requiring constant attention, feeding and care. Supposing Touka survives this alongside her child, she’ll be forced to exit the battlefront in favor of the infant, and become its guardian. Not only that, but a newborn is extremely fragile, especially a hybrid one, and would be an easy target. As the King's child, well, that just makes it even more of a target. And Kaneki, Touka and everyone else would know that. If, lets say, word gets out that the King has a child, I don't doubt for a minute that Furuta would set forth a race for its death, rewarding whoever kills the infant and brings back its head. And I'm sure there are quite a few characters that would be veeeery interested in its death, either for their own satisfaction or as a striking blow to the King's psyche. It would also force Kaneki to rethink his strategy, after all, he now has something very important he must protect. Other ghouls would also probably put their lives on the line for the child. The entire story would take a different shape. And that's not even considering the psychological effects of caring for this child, evidenced by Kaneki and Toukas rough childhood and family traumas. Nonetheless, if this baby comes to be, whether half-ghoul or half-human, it will have a very rough upbringing.

2. The child will become a symbol of hope

A recurring theme throughout the story, and one of Kaneki's main goals, is the possibility of coexistence between ghouls and humans. Ishida has shown us both sides of the coin, that of prey and that of predator, through the use of Kaneki's character: a human turned ghoul who has experienced firsthand both sides of the battlefield. However, at the same time, Kaneki has been shown to forsake his humanity in favor of the ghouls, acting as their King and fighting on their behalf. On the other hand, there is another character that, given different circumstances, could’ve very well taken on the role of King: Eto.

Eto was the only known natural half-ghoul, born from a human(Ukina) and a ghoul(Yoshimura). Her physiology gave her the best of both worlds: the abilities and prowess of a ghoul all while maintaining human characteristics and traits, allowing her to live both as Takatsuki Sen and the One-Eyed Owl. Her childhood allowed her to experience firsthand the plight of the ghouls, while her late mother's diary and her career as a novelist let her see the world as a human. One can’t help but wonder, had her parents raised her and her circumstances been different, what kind of world views Eto would've had and what kind of role she would’ve taken on, seeing as she believes in a society where ghouls are no longer persecuted.

What does this have to do with Kaneki and Toukas child? Well, I believe the child will take on a similar role. Whether it is half-ghoul or half-human, the child will become a mediator between both worlds. There are many theories regarding the end of Tokyo Ghoul, most saying that Kaneki will die in the end. Whether or not he’ll achieve his ghoul of coexistence, his child, being his direct descendant, could very well take on his legacy and take on the role of King, continuing the battle for a future where ghouls are no longer persecuted, becoming a symbol of hope for ghouls just like Kaneki currently is, considering its future status as both human and ghoul.

3. Allows Kaneki and Touka to have major character development

Having to take care of a newborn child will allow for some major character development, especially for Kaneki. Although he has undergone multiple changes throughout the story, one of Kaneki's main characteristics is his desire to “sacrifice himself”. Regarding this trait, his relationship with Touka has already altered this to some degree, with her existence “grounding” him, tied to his vow to protect her. Touka, as we all know, can defend and take care of herself. The same can't be said about a newborn child, especially a hybrid newborn. Fragile and defenseless, the baby will be 100% dependant on its parents for its survival, which means that staying alive and protecting the child will become the main priority. No more reckless fighting, no more aimless wandering around. Kaneki will be forced to stay alive for the sake of the child, and knowing him, i'm sure he’ll do everything he can for his infant. The same can be said for Touka, who can already be seen going as far as consuming human food just to guarantee its survival within her womb. 

4. The child will become a plot moving force

It is an undeniable fact that this pregnancy has been foreshadowed for months now. Since the drawing of Touka with a bloody belly, the burnt womb poem, to the development of Kanekis and Toukas relationship, to an entire chapter dedicated to them finally consummating it. Creating all of this build-up just for the baby to die is just too anticlimactic and predictable. Pregnancy and miscarriage theories have been circulating for weeks now, and simply getting rid of the child after setting up the stage just seems too predictable and wasteful. Everyones expecting it, and story wise there's no point in introducing an element with so much potential and immediately getting rid of it. Ishida has yet to disappoint me plot wise, and I honestly think he has a lot more planned. Not only that, but, while both scenarios will have some form of impact within the story, a miscarriage will only directly affect Touka and Kaneki, who will obviously suffer for the loss of their child. On the other hand, introducing such an obstacle in the story will have multiple implications, affect various characters, and become a driving force in plot. It may even be a resource that Ishida may use to continue the story without its current main character(Boruto). Nonetheless, the stage is more than ready to receive this child, and with so much to bring to the story, I doubt Ishida would miss this chance (to bring us more misery).

In conclusion, while all the odds are against Kaneki and Toukas baby, I believe that, for the sake of the story, it'll live. However this pregnancy will progress is a complete mystery to me, but as someone who loves studying obstetrics and genetics, all this exposition on human and ghoul biology is making me brim with excitement. I can't wait to see how this will turn out and whether my theory will be right or wrong.

Thank you so much for reading, and please excuse any mistakes. 

[queerprincessfromhell-blog]

Do all of the emoji asks!!

omg that are so many /o\

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Idk I don’t think there is anything and even if there was Im pretty sure I wouldn’t want to post in on the internet?

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

This is probably about someone I wouldn’t normally hug but it’d just be someone I adore like a good friend or my boyfriend. Maybe someone I haven’t seen/hugged in a while like Resa or Isi or Bekki? Idrk I actually do hug almost anyone when I get the chance.

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

My only Pokémon experience has been playing Pokémon GO for a few weeks tbh but I thought Evoli were pretty cute and I liked Glumanda and Bisasam I think? Oh and Shiggy!

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

A mess. I shouldn’t be in charge of anything, I’d just make it worse :’D

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

Uhm…idk I thik I had one a couple months back but I don’t remeber what it was but when I was a kid I dreamt there wuld be a huge police car in our flat and it took me like three years to be sure it was just a dream.

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

That she always just wants good and that she always cares for other people

😘 talk about your crush or partner

He’s super adorable and he gives the best kisses. He is very consistent in his opinions, he can draw, he actually manages to make me feel good enough for him, he is kinda obsessed with some things including fob and Harvest Moon. When he talks about drawing or colours or pecils or something like that his whole face lights up and he gets really happy and excited, that’s super cute. He makes fun of me for everything but never in a way I would feel bad about. He’s super emo but also a literal sunshine, you just have to be happy when you’re around him. Also he radiates so much energy I don’t even know why. He has the best hair ever and super warm eyes (like…they look warm. Colour-wise. Not the temperature, you know? :’D) and he has freckles which looks ridiculously good. And he has the best smile ever.

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

yes

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

I think I like my voice, like when I hear it in voice notes or something? Also my eyebrows and that I hug people a lot.

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

That it doesn’t matter whether i’m there or not, whenever I feel like people don’t care when or even if I’m there it is the worst to me. But tbh I don’t know how to overcome it, I mostly just cry a lot and try to convince myself it’s not true.

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

Baking or dying my hair. Both stress me out a lot sometimes, especially when it doesn’t turn out the way I want it to but in the end the process makes me happy even if the outcome doesn’t. Also being in the sunshine.

💙 what annoys you about some people?

That they think they can get away with anything.

😤 do you get angry easily?

Depends on the topic. On some things I’ll explode immediately, with others it will take a lot.

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

I don’t actually daydream that much but i think about my boyfriend so much it’s kinda ridiculous, so if that counts as well…

And when I daydream it’s mostly about sunshine or something atm because it’s winter and I really want it to be light and warm again

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

I would make people care more. About other people, animals, the environment etc

I would also make it easier for people to be open about the things they want to but are too afraid to.

And I would make everyone have basic human rights and necessities

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

I can’t really do tha bc you didn’t send any names

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

I don’t know, I really like big cities in general, for the atmosphere and the vibe they give off, I’d like to visit as many as possible in my life, as well in Germany as in the rest of the world. But I can’t imagine to go away from cologne forever, I’d always come back here I think.

☕️ talk about your ideal day

I don’t really have one ideal version of a day, I love days I spend with my friends walking around cologne or sitting in a park, I love days I spend with my best friend in her bed, watching something or being on Tumblr, I love days I spend with my boyfriend, sitting in a cafe and have breakfast or drink coffee or sitting at home cuddling and watching something, sometimes I like days I spend baking a cake that is way to complicated for my baking skills…tbh there’s a ton of things that make a day ‘ideal’

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

Ambivert I guess

💧 when was the last time you cried?

two hours ago

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift

Summertime - My Chemical Romance

In Between - Linkin Park

In Pieces - Linkin Park

The Only Hope For Me Is You - My Chemical Romance

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

Making people see how it really is, because on the one hand it’s so sad when people beat themselves up about something they misinterpreted and stuff like that and on the other hand I hate it when people act so careless because they don’t see what they’re doing

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

Stand up for yourself and what you care about! You don’t always have to hide. Also who cares about ‘friends’ who only make you feel bad? You don’t need them.

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

People who are able to propely interact with other people without always feeling weird or wrong

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

I’m not sure whether this is about what I would want to have more of, compared to the amount I have now or comapared to each other so I’m going to answer it compared to how it is now.

I’d really like to be more brave, I’m such a chicken for literally anything even though I’m trying to work on that. Also I don’t really want wealth in like, being wealthy but if neither of my parents would have to be worried about money ever again that’d be great.

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

I don’t really have one thing that I could name, sometimes there’ll be a thing I’m ashamed of and then I’ll try to forget about it :’D

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

I speak German and English and I’m learing Latin in school. I’d like to be fluent in English and I also want to learn Dutch someday.

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

I think I’d like to be Luna Lovegood’s friend. Or Tonks‘.

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

I do’t think I understand the question :o I like stars and planets and stuff a lot and I love to read (nonfiction) about space if that’s what you mean :D

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

I always try to randomly compliment people, hoping it will brighten up their day. Also I’ll buy some flowers for a friend of mine later.

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

Maybe a angel because they have wings? idk, I like to be human actually

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

I don’t wana talk bad about people like that

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

I’d rather not actually because more people could read that than I’d be comfortable with

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

I wanted to be a teacher and an interior designer and a princess and a doctor and a lawyer….it changed a lot :’‘D right now I’m not really sure but I’d like to study social pedagogy or psychology or something  and work with children

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

Cotton Candy and every kind of cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

Nothing at the moment, which is quite weird because I haven’t been obsessed with nothing for years. Maybe baking but not really

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

I get easily annoyed and I cry a lot

😪 what are you sick of?

idk nothing in particular I think. It happens that I can’t stand something atm tho

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

Ususally not, even though I like it a lot.

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

I don’t even know which opinions are popular, I just see/read something and either agree or not

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

Well I wouldn’t consider myself a bad person but I’m rying to become a better person

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

Reading, sometimes I try to draw but it’s never good, I like singing a lot…

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

Puhh I don’t remember, I do that pretty much all the time.Mabe Mr Brightside by The Killers?

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

I forget sometimes that other people are a person each on their own as well, I tend to generalize them (especially when I don’t know them that well/don’t talk to them that often) by accident and I try to consciously think about them as indivuals with feelings and stuff

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

hearts, stars, boxes, people…pretty much anything

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

nothing

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

I had to google what this is and I just made a test and tbh, I don’t know :’D Apparentliy I’m ISFP-T, whatever that means

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

you didn’t send any people :(

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

Gerard Way, Carrie Fisher and Gronkh because they have all created/been part of things I love a lot and have loved for a long time and all of them are actually good people

🐴 opinion on __?

again you didn’t send anything, sorry xD

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

I can be quite emotional but I am not necessarily. That really depends on the situation.

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

Loveletters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira

The Bookthief by Markus Zusak

Ein kalter Strom by Val McDermid

but I don’t know any quotes, I’m sorry :’D

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

I mostly cry, that helps sometimes and if that doesn’t help I try to distract myself. That helps most of the time.

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

That it is never as bad as it seems or at least it will be over soon

🌍 which country do you live in?

Germany

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

kind, affectionate, stubborn

🐵 which quotes changed you?

I don’t think there’s any quote that changed me as a person

💭 do you keep a diary?

I treid a few times but it never worked

💫 who inspires you?

Valerie inspires me to work on becoming the best version of myself

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

Yes, why not?

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

Pretty much everything black plus a lot of oastel things/things with lace/squares

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

I don’t really like films but Deadpool was nice, I like Star Wars, Pirates of the Carribean, Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the chocolate factory and I recently started watching xmen with my boyfriend, they were good as well

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

being at my grandma’s and going outside with my sister to play that game we always played when we were there and going to the funfair with my grandma…tbh pretty much anything related to my grandma, she was the person who was most important to me as a child

🐱 what’s your dream pet like?

Either a cat or a dog but definetly very cuddely :D

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be?

I’d love to meet The Doctor tbh, not to be his companion or anything, just meet him :D

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 3 “Back On My Bullshit” Alex S.

Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that I am Back On My Bullshit and doing That https://youtu.be/VLVChQE7uY8

So last round, I almost died.  Everyone had apparently decided that between me and Patrick, I was the one to go.  I was the target and it wasn't like anyone was pushing for it, it was just that it was the idea settled upon.  It took me 23 hours.  23 hours to basically get it through these thick skulls that I should NOT be going home.  23 hours to shove Patrick under a bus and save my own ass.  And yet, with 1 hour left, another bitch got in the way.  Kage, in all his pointless paranoia, decided to try to reflip the vote in the last hour.  The FUCK?  I had worked so hard on flipping it that it made NO sense for it to be flipped back, especially not in the last hour.  I had convinced nearly everyone to save me, sans Tommy who had already voted and apparently Kage, and yet he tried to flip it.  WHATTTT the fuck?  So, I went into the one world chat like "lol Kage bye girl!"  And he apparently went right back to everyone and said "jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk!"  UGH.  He's a sweet kid and I get the paranoia because I felt it all of yesterday, but c'mon... At the moment, I trust Jonathan a ton.  He told me I was in danger and needed to push the idea despite me thinking everything was peachy.  I also love Crow and Jaiden for working with Zack and seeing how that mess turned out LOL and now working with me.  Crow was apparently really pushing for me to stay.  A motherfucking KING.  Sarah was also really nice about everything and helped me from the get-go.  Linus is m'dad and Alex is pretty rad!!  Ashley fell asleep oops.  But I think her and I would be good together.  And Richie was telling me the full truth the whole time which also woke me up to the idea that I was still in danger.  Also Junior is really cool and adult-y. I think now that I had to work SO hard to save myself, I should be in a better position on my tribe because I've had so many conversations with so many people, and a lot of it was strategy.  So I feel like people know where my head is at.  Right now, though, my target is between Tommy and Kage.  While I know Kage is a messy bitch, Tommy's won this game.  That's insanely dangerous.  And I know he voted early but girl.... he was the only one beside Kage and Patrick (who I was actively targeting)...

https://68.media.tumblr.com/9335ba85c23ae1f01a1348b1c31c3666/tumblr_n99wduhukv1sb2lomo1_500.png

Me and Brian

I apologize for not submitting a confessional round two. I definitely was in Omaha auditioning for American Idol and those bitches told me a deserved no after my voice cracked during auditions *starts to cry*. Literally my tribe is so supportive but I'm actually fine about it. It's kinda funny that they think I like wanna die because of it but I'm literally okay. I tried and failed and what matters is that I tried.

Sup Fuckerinos! First things first I'd like to apologize for not making a confessional episodes 1 or 2. I've been busy^tm. Also I'd like to thank the hosts for this opportunity! So recap I was placed on the heroes tribe with literally the entire Solomon hosting team, Johnny, and the Malaysians. So when we lost the first challenge an alliance was created consisting of me, Pippa, Andrew, Kendall, Drew, Alex, & Johnny. Mist was voted out 11-1 (and Mist voted for me :') kms) because literally everyone and their damn mother came to that conclusion with a little point in the right direction from our alliance. I'm not going to lie I'm kind of pissed that everyone wanted Mist when we had the opportunity to vote out someone who's more threatening like Drew, Steffen, or Andrew but if no one else is down to do it then I guess I can't do anything about that RIP Mist. Andrew wants to get out Kendall and/or Alex instead of Drew and I see where he's coming from but I think he's too trigger happy and I think he's failing to realize that there are and will be repercussions to the things he does. Including the backlash that he will feel from the other heroes even Pippa but I can't tell him anything because I obviously don't know anything. He's got such a fucking hard head but if he wants to be stubborn and reckless let him because I'm not going to let him ruin my redemption arc even if we are good friends. I'll write his name down and not think twice. I'll shed only one tear for what could've been but was ruined by his reckless ass. Also I have something with Steffen on the side so if worse ever comes to worse I have him and I really like Trace and Ruthie so maybe I could do something with that? Idk but besides Andrew I really like this tribe. Blood is going to start spilling soon so I hope these bitches brought their heels. 

Okay so I'm seeing myself becoming a lot nastier in the last few days....maybe these villains are rubbing off on my obviously heroic personality?? Firstly, I can now see why people had issues with Tommy in Cutthroat now....he's so hard to talk to... I feel he means well as a person but I just have a gut feeling that he's lying to me a lot.... Like about how his vote was locked "too early"? Seems convenient that you mention this to people AFTER the votes are revealed and you're in the minority? And then threatening me with the possibility of drawing rocks if it were to go to 6-6-1? Seriously? It's insulting... As of now, I'm probably closest to Sarah, Brian, Jaiden, and Jonathan so if I can maintain those relationships and reach out to the Linus/Junior duo I feel confident I can hang with these villains!

Listen I know this is my first confessional and that's awful of me but like I haven't had anything to say until this moment. If This selfie scavenger hunt Comes down to the geopositional division of the tribes And whose sun sets first Imma lose it It will be a tantrum And you will all bear witness to what happens when moving stress has pushed a person to the very edge, and the last string snaps.

Well, we lost another immunity. I am thinking maybe we should go afterJonathan, who pretty much did NOTHING for this scavenger hunt. But honestly I aint going to speak my mind because it could get me killed. In a game with this many people my strategy for right now will be to lay low, just not too too low. Hopefully Sarah or Tommy will run the show. For now.

WELL we lost again and im pissed bc i dont feel comfortable with my position on this tribe i havent formed good relationships with anyone and that's how i play these games by making 1 on 1 relationships with people that keep me safe until i can make moves but ugh idk theres just no one here that i........connect with???

So I guess my name is going around... I mean I am literally sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor packing to move so I can't really help being a little inactive on the chatting side, but challenge wise I have done quite a bit for this tribe so far, and I am really people can see that. but I mean oh well. 

HFDJKA;VHJDFKAL NOW I KNOW WHY THE FOUR OF THEM WANTED TO WORK TOGETHER FUCKING DREW ALEX KENDALL AND ISAAC WERE ALL IN MALAYSIA AND THEY DRAGGED ME AS THEIR FIFTH AND PIPPA AND ANDREW AS 6TH AND 7TH OML THEY GOTTA GO THIS IS LITERALLY THE PERFECT CASE TO TURN ON THEM. The only person I told I wanted Ruthie out was Andrew, but now I'm not even sure if I'd want to take Ruthie out this round because those four could be so threatening down the road, but I also have to keep in mind that those four all being from Malaysia is target enough when we all get together as heroes AND villains, so maybe I just take the safe route and go for Ruthie here, and then if we lose for the third time, that's when I pull everyone else into the fold and it can be everyone against the four of them to AT LEAST get Kendall and Alex out of here because they're too damn good. I'm trying to take out all the really good players early, but I also think there's a chance that'll make me oober vulnerable, so I'm not too sure what the plan is yet. I guess I'll just play it out for now and see what my closest people think. I'm definitely going to tell Dom, Trace and Steffen about the four of them all playing in Malaysia together. This is where my research gets me! FUCK YES!

Steffen is probably about to make a confessional about how I was moving 100000 miles a minute with everything I was throwing at him. Just be prepared LMAO

I hate this game. Every round, I think the game is going to simplify, but this villains tribe is a complete mess and I wouldn't be shocked if we lost the duel and had to go to yet another tribal council 24 hours from our current one. Apparently, the vote is between Ashley and Jonathan for being extra quiet this round.  What scares me is that I have no reason to really vote either out.  I'd much rather vote Tommy or Kage who I have no intention on working with in the future ever ever ever.  I don't have a personal issue with either, I just don't see myself ever working with someone who tried to vote me out.  It's not logical.  But then again, nothing that's happened on this crusty ass tribe has been logical.  Vote me out over Pat?  Majority said so until I flipped it (with some help who really pushed the move over the edge). This round, I guess I want Ashley to go?  But I don't want to draw lines.  I'd rather Kage go in an easy vote and that's that.  But it ain't happenin' and I really don't need my name circulating yet again. Here's to hoping I don't get idoled out or go via rocks... please...

BITCH the villains tribe is a fucking mess i cant stand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this vote is fucking ridiculous again no one has a clear plan theres no way of getting anyone to tell you whats actually going down its all just second hand names being tossed out and its like.... driving me fucking crazy theres 24 people still in the game so im just trying to lay low which im sure thats what everyone else is trying to do and thats why no one is just outright saying who they're voting for and like i get it but i want to die!!??? it looks like either jonathan ashley or kage are going... jonathan is inactive i've only spoken 2 words to him and he hasnt done anything to help in the immunity challenges so its easiest to vote him out but i liked him when he called out kage for his bullshit in the tribe chat so that was fun ashley is pretty inactive too but she helped more in the scavenger hunt BUT shes also wicked connected to people in this game from past tumblr survivor games relationships she has played with a lot of people in this game and thats scary to let her stay around and utilize those relationships kage i dont think is a real option but just ashley being mad that he is one of the ones that has said her name but i'd be cool with that because we've talked a good amount but i can tell he's a messy player he caused a lot of last minute chaos at our first tribal and i feel like kage tommy and linus have something going on so id like to break that potential group up idk whats going to happen bc this tribe is a literal disaster if i had to guess i'd assume jonathan will be leaving tonight and idc who it is as long as im still here (although i do need alex to stay for sanity reasons) i just dont want a tie or to be in minority and with that i guess we'll see what actually happens ugh why the fuck did yall think i was a villain fuck you i want to be over there with the good bitches 

God I keep half forgetting to make confessionals please don't hate me. I really do enjoy our tribe, winning challenges is great but I'm afraid that people are simply talking more than I am which is my fear. I'm around but not specifically talking with people. I hope the Early 30s know I'm working with them whole heartedly and don't try and back stab me. Other than that I'm living life and having fun.

 I have a feeling that an idol is gonna come out and I love being messy, so voting for Kage was just so he can be #afraid that his name came up. And like lowkey a fucking Sapphire idol could show up so who knows what happens with that. I'm just trying to fuck some lives over though so IF THAT HAPPENS, then maybe I'll be the only vote to eliminate Kage? Lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tGhgF8_Uxk third babes

[textsacc]

[01:56] セン: hi i went to study baseball. [01:56] セン: um. [01:57] セン: drawing yozora with a baseball bat is a missed opportunity. [02:00] セン: okay so maybe its for aesthetic. [02:00] セン: so [02:00] セン: thats fine [02:00] セン: but [02:00] セン: hear me out [02:00] セン: i now have opinions on yozora/sena for baseball [02:06] セン: so in baseball, theres one designated catcher, apparently, who acts as the backbone and effectively works as the leader with the most important job out of everyone, because they're the only one that gets to see the entire field and give instructions to others

that's yozora because she's club leader, and effectively club can't happen without her orders, but also because she's the smartest, schemiest person in the club, so it makes sense for her to strategize for her team. it also comes with the heavy burden of responsibility and getting hurt a lot to try and catch the ball (see ch. orion for more info)

for maximum efficiency, the catcher has to work effectively with their pitcher. the pitcher can be swapped in, usually they swap every 5 people or so, because a pitcher's work is super demanding; this means that the catcher has to know each person well enough to maximize their throw-catch rate, which essentially falls to the leader anyway, aka its still yozora-best-fit there [02:11] セン: now the pitcher usually consists of 4/5 people on rotation, so it could be literally everyone else on the team who's eligible for play (rika, yukimura, sena, kodaka) but the reason why its super important for sena to be the pitcher and for yozora to be the catcher is because of personal catchers

Because of the close mental relationship and trust that a successful pitcher must have with his catcher, a number of catchers throughout history have become preferred by pitchers on their teams, to the point that the catcher will almost always (especially during the regular season) start along with the pitcher. The catcher is then informally referred to as that pitcher's personal catcher. Personal catchers are often used for pitchers that specialize in throwing knuckleballs, due to the difficulty of catching such an inconsistent and erratic pitch.

you can theoretically swap out any pitcher during the game, sure, but you can't swap out catchers if i understand it correctly. literally anyone else on the team could be a catcher but they wouldn't have the same synergy as a leader would after they've bonded with everyone unless they did the same thing

which, technically, none of them have except for kodaka, and he sucks ass at everything to begin with, so he's not even qualified physically to do it and placing bets on him to do it would weaken the team performance significantly [02:24] セン: its like trying to get aigis instead of minato to lead the team in p3; like yeah itll work but at what cost

anyway yozora's secondary is sena in terms of performance, but since she's lacking in the social awareness department it's very difficult for her to accurately guess what her pitcher's going to do, and i'm not even going to get started on rika/yukimura if that's the case

so finally, why is sena the perfect personal pitcher?

Personal catchers are often used for pitchers that specialize in throwing knuckleballs, due to the difficulty of catching such an inconsistent and erratic pitch.

a. she's definitely wanting to throw knuckleballs. since they're almost a sure-fire way of leading the opponent batter astray, this means that all she has to do to ensure an out for the opponent team is to get her own team's catcher to just. catch shit. b. her stamina, strength and recklessness probably already add onto the effectiveness of the top -- the winning strategy here is to be as chaotically powerful as possible, which she does (see ch. orion for more details) and because it's a solo play she's allowed to go ffa instead of holding back to help her team out

c. i point out the synergy between yozora and sena in the following - i. werewolf (hotsprings) - ii. basketball (orion) - iii. romancing saga 2 (drk/pld)

tldr they're super fucking gay, but also yozora is able to go through the impossible mental gymnastics to support/hinder sena and it shows. because of how good their game rapport is even especially without communication, their tactics on the field are going to be amazing with how crazy sena's pitches will get and how yozora will do almost anything to get herself to follow through and catch them

d. sena is probably going to be able to last the excrutiating work of pitching on the field for longer than anyone expects, which means more impossible hits for the opposing team, which means a higher chance of winning the game [02:28] セン: e. as long as sena isn't the catcher (i think), she can also bat against the other team, and we know she'll be good at batting because of how much physical prowess she has. itll be especially good because the batter is the only offensive one on the field at that point of time, with everyone else on the benches as the opponent team fills up the field with defense -- she'll basically have a trip exerting herself on solo-mode if she's made to bat (which is entirely possible) e.i. also she's probably super lucky so she'll get to make a lot more successful hits than expected e.ii. yozora would probably be terrible at batting, but not to say she doesn't try -- she'll probably be one of the better batters on the team overall, but normally catchers don't take the offensive, they stay on defense (haha like a tank)

[02:29] セン: most of the reason they'd make a good battery pair just lies in c but a and b are also really good points, d and e are just if im not wrong [02:30] セン: f. yozora literally bleeds for sena i cant stress this enough (orion) so like her being the catcher is totally fucking apt because they have to be super padded to play catcher otherwise they'll be injured like 90% of the time [02:30] セン: thank you for coming to my ted talk,

[02:41] セン: hi im gonna run over some tldr quotes from butterfly soup to hammer in the idea of yozora/sena is literally perfect especially when put into the baseball allegory

(Noelle pitching) "Noelle doesn't have enough upper body strength to throw it that far."

"With a knuckleballer pitching, the catcher has to focus so hard on stopping it that runners on base will have an easier time stealing." "So basically, it's hard to throw right, it's hard to control even when it's done right, and it's punishing if you miss." "Knuckleball is the pitch of someone with nothing left to lose."

- The ball ricochets off Liz's mitt and catches her bare hand, striking her thumb at a painful looking angle. - Liz's thumb has turned a swollen purple. "Are you okay?" "I'll live..."

"I chose it because... uh.... it's hard to catch." "So Diya has to be the one to catch it. Since it'll hurt everyone else." "Diya's immune to it because she's special."

"Is it really that surprising? Diya (catcher) has always been good at sports." "No, but you don't understand! This goes beyond being 'good at sports'!" [02:58] セン: "A lot of knuckleball pitchers end up having one catcher who specializes in catching that pitch just for them. They're called personal catchers. The two of them get traded together, as a set. It's like a weird baseball marriage." "I should learn how to throw a knuckleball, and you can catch it for me!" "Wait, but didn't they just say it's really hard to catch?" "So what? You're like a baseball goddess!"

(Min, as pitcher) "I don't need anyone. I'll do everything all by myself. I'll become so happy and successful that everyone who was ever bad to me have to beg on their hands and knees for me to forgive them."

[dawnajaynes32]

If You Really Like What You Create, It Will Sell

Sponsored by Adobe

Becoming a Freelance Stock Contributor

With every other creative career option at her fingertips, versatile Milwaukee-based graphic designer and illustrator Diane Murphy ultimately chose becoming a freelance stock contributor.

With a B.A. in fine arts from Carroll University, a private liberal arts institution in Waukesha, WI, Murphy has been an art teacher, a portrait photographer, a children’s clothing and giftware designer, a muralist, and an all-around freelancer doing logos, print collateral and apparel. She spent thirteen years designing large-scale graphics and signage for a Milwaukee interior design-build company that serves restaurant, educational and retail clients. After breaking out on her own in 2008, she became a self-styled “vector dynamo” who as “TeddyandMia” now makes two-thirds of her income from stock licensing and one-third from freelance design directly for clients, many of whom first saw and bought her work on stock sites. Murphy is one of Adobe Stock’s best-selling vector illustrators, and I was delighted to have this Q&A with her on behalf of HOWdesign.com.

Q: Diane, you’ve done many prestigious projects, including wall graphics for schools and fast-food restaurants, and logos and packaging for clients all around the country. What got you interested in becoming an Adobe Stock contributor?

A: When I worked at the interior design firm, although I love kids and schools, I sometimes got frustrated with the limitations in subject matter, so in the evenings I started illustrating other subjects that interested me. When I felt confident enough, I tried 99designs and had great success with logo design competitions. I then branched out more and applied to stock sites. I only draw what interests me now. Lots of retro themes, logo designs, holidays, font sets, and midcentury style patterns are some of my favs. I quit my full-time job when I felt confident enough I could make a living as a stock artist and freelancer.

Your screen name is TeddyandMia. Some artists want to be off the radar as a stock contributors because it’s a side gig to their full-time employment. I know that’s not your case. But is there a real Teddy and Mia? Do you have a partner?

It’s really just sentimental. And just me. No partner. Teddy and Mia were my Pomeranians’ names. And those names just seemed to fit. My work is lighthearted and all over the place, just like the dogs.

How did you learn what kind of images would be most saleable?

If you follow themes and styles of other contributions that are selling well, it won’t be satisfying. I don’t pay attention to the tab that sorts by “popularity.” I’m not interested in drawing icon sets or landing pages, one after another. And I don’t like flashy, techie gradients. I prefer flat colors, simple textures, and simple compositions. Less is more. If I really like what I create, it will sell.

What percentage of your income comes from stock?

I started in 2008, and now about two-thirds of my income comes from stock. The other income comes from several good, reliable clients. I also have a contract position with another stock company as a vector reviewer; I inspect files for technical and esthetic quality, and send them back if they don’t meet the qualifications so the artists can make corrections and resubmit.

That shows how really good you are. We love your fruit and vegetable backgrounds reminiscent of Herman Miller picnic posters from the ’70s. And your USA state travel posters. And the license plates and psychedelic backgrounds and all your midcentury modern stuff. You are incredibly versatile. Do you recommend that contributors offer a whole range of styles?

Versatility has always been part of my plan, and I definitely recommend it for others. I love trying new styles, and it always keeps it interesting. For example, the travel posters. Growing up, my family took many road trips around the county. I’m very nostalgic and started the poster series as a personal challenge. I’ve sold many extended licenses of those.

Do you also upload to other stock sources, like iStock or Shutterstock? If so, is working with Adobe in any way different or superior?

I upload to the all the major sites and a couple of smaller ones as well. My sales have noticeably increased since the Adobe took over Fotolia. That gives me incentive to keep up on new submissions and continuously offer different and new vectors. With some of the other sites, my sales go up more slowly.

What’s your favorite stock success story? For example, one illustrator made a series of simple borders that have been downloaded more than 10,000 times. Others have gotten large freelance commissions because a buyer loved their style and approach. What have you experienced that’s especially noteworthy?

I recently started working with a Vermont candle company, Aunt Sadies, Inc., that uses my state poster images on their candle canisters. I’m negotiating to create original designs for them in the future. A nonprofit organization liked my ’60s psychedelic-style images, like my Earth Day posters, and I’ve been creating posters and other print materials for them ever since.

Our readers are especially interested in “tips and tricks,” especially for people who’ve never thought about making their work available through stock sites. What do those illustrators need to know? For example, how often do you upload? How many images at a time?

I try to upload 20 to 30 images every month. I work on several ideas at a time. That way, when I’m stuck spinning my wheels on one image, I can put it aside and work on another. After a break, I go back to the first one with a fresh perspective and can move forward. It’s important to avoid frustration—and you have to to have faith in yourself that the answer is within you. Be patient until it comes to you.

How many vectors or illustrations need to be in your library for the effort and the income to pay off?

I started by uploading maybe 20 images, and on the third day online I made $11. I was ecstatic. As time went by I added more and more, and when I got to around 400 I consistently made a few hundred dollars every month. Certainly not enough to live on, but I was still working at the interior design firm and my freelance time was limited (but those few hundred extra bucks bought me a lot of shoes). After I left the firm, I worked hard to double my portfolio, and was making $1,500 to $2,000 every month. Adding more stock sites helped. One thing I know for sure, the more you create and upload, the more money you make.

What makes your illustrations stand out among others with similar subject matter?

I think of my images as tools for designers to use. The license plate set not only contains the complete character set, but several examples that show designers how the set looks in different color combinations. One way to stand out is to create a series of coordinating images that create a unified set, like the fruits and veggies. Often buyers will download the whole set. In the card series with the lightbulb numbers, I include the complete set of numbers along with the card design so buyers can easily use any combination of numbers.

How do you prepare the files so they will be the most user-friendly?

I don’t use a lot of fancy gradients, meshes, and complicated tools and patterns. I try to keep layers simple and organized. Buyers most likely have many different skill levels. I make my images are user-friendly for all levels.

What is your biggest piece of advice for a new contributor?

Set aside regular time to draw and develop images. Don’t try to churn out images for quantity. And don’t follow the herd. The world has enough icon sets. Take time to draw what you’re interested in and you will never be bored. You may not make a million dollars, but developing your artistic talents will eventually bring in enough money, and it’s a fantastic journey. Make sure you list your contact info on your portfolio page so future clients can find you.

We hope to once and for all remove the “stigma” from creating and buying/using stock. We’ve found several interesting advertising and marketing campaigns that use stock backgrounds, infographics and logo elements, but the agencies wouldn’t agree to publicizing them. What are your thoughts on this?

The agencies are not going to say they use stock, even if they do. Imagine what the clients would think! The good thing is that they’re using stock, and let’s hope that in time the stigma will recede. I don’t worry about it. Because of online agencies like Adobe, my images are sold the world over. I think that’s pretty cool. They don’t lead to big national accounts, but they do bring me many reliable clients like the candle company, a big carpet cleaning operation, and my favorite, the International Tea Sippers Society.

Thank you for your candid answers, Diane, and Happy New Year!

If you are interested in bringing your illustrations and vectors to a worldwide audience of buyers, sign up to become an Adobe Stock contributor today – it’s free to sign up! A sweet side gig—or possibly an almost-full-time career like Diane Murphy’s—awaits. Sign up now!

          The post If You Really Like What You Create, It Will Sell appeared first on HOW Design.

If You Really Like What You Create, It Will Sell syndicated post

[anxietyadventureguide-blog]

Advice for people with social anxiety / college freshmen.

I had always heard from other people, from my parents from tv shows,that college would be the best time in my life and the friends i met there would be the best i ever had.  But I came into college unlike the usual freshmen, because I percieved my junior and senior years of high school to fit people’s description of college. I switched into a different high school my junior year because my old high school offered almost nothing academically and it was a social nightmare because almost the entire student body had social difficulties caused by emotional/learning difficulties cause that was the school’s schtick. So when I came to ocsa it felt like people described college I met people from diverse places (okay so diverse within the range of orange county), with a ton of different interests and i got to reinvent myself from the awkward person i had been in freshman and sophmore year. And by some coincidence I started making friends with sophmores because i was put in a sophomore world history class since at my old high school they taught US history sophmore year and world history junior year and in osca it was flipped around. And i just ended up making friends with sophomores because i was in that history class (in addition the sophomores didn't have social groups as impenetrably knit as those of the juniors since there was less time for development, and there were a lot more sophomores who were knew to the school). And i was really good friends with those sophomores, and by the time freshmen year of college rolled around i was sad that I had to let go of my friends before it seemed like it was time because in many ways i felt more like i was from the class of 2016 than from the class of 2015. And so needless to say in college, I was still mourning because I had just been separated from the best friends i had ever had and didn’t know if they were my friends anymore. And i craved structure and was nervous, and so i came in consoling myself hoping that college would offer me opportunities to find people i liked as much as megan and alex and the gang (at the time i felt really guilty about the idea of replacing them because friends shouldn't just be replaceable, especially in cases where the friend group still exists at home. College freshman logic, not me logic). And so i came into college really awkward, panicked, and knowing that if i didn’t find a group at orientation I was fucked because after the first few months all the die would have been cast and it would be infinitely harder to break into a preformed friend group. So my idea was that to be sure i didn’t miss my small window of opportunity I had to pick a friend group and hang out with them as much as possible so i can ensure when they start forming an impenetrable clique i’m there to become part of said impenetrable clique, and no bonding happens outside of my watch. That way, i don’t have to be playing catch up to other members. However, this did not work out well. The first time lasted two months (maybe 1.5 if I’m generous, considering that at some point i started drawing out and hanging out with other people, went back for a day, and was officially rejected), and ended in a trainwreck in which i ended up being ditched out on halloween and directly told to leave their halloween movie night so they could have their “family moment” in the very intimate space of the common room (god i wish i had had the wit and sass at the time to remark that they were in the common room and by definition i should be allowed to come in).  After that i hung out with another friend group for the rest of the year which turned out okay even though i didn’t like the people in there that much. The year after i formed a real friend group out of three people, but then one of those people decided to show her immature bitch side and suddenly hate me and accuse me of “using her as a punching bag” for an entire semester, without having brought up any of it to me before or saying anything directly to me about being unhappy (which if i were neurotypical would be fine but im on the spectrum and need to be hit over the head with a brick when it comes to reading social cues, especially those that i don’t want to see), and then told me to not talk to her for an entire summer. Her spontanious hate for me has never really worn off  (if you want to ask more and say maybe i did abuse her. Yes i did make my mistakes but it was a fucked up relationship in general and we really fucking tormented each other. Our relationship at times often consisted of us making playful jibs at one another that had an undertone of aggression that passed the line of healthy but yet was subtle enough for us to not notice it. I wish she had been more willing to forgive me or to work on our relationship before exploding and deciding to hate me for all eternity. When she sent the message that caused the rift between us I was on my knees begging her to forgive me and let us work on it but she wouldnt accept anything other than me leaving her alone. It was a double edged sword, if i left her alone she would never forgive me because i didnt seem apologetic enough, but if i apologized she would get mad at be for not leaving her alone like she asked. I think it was already done mostly by the end of the year. And she sent me a text message trying to clear things up expecting a certain response from me- getting on my knees and claiming it was all my fault to try to be better. But i bit back at her and then i was fucking stupid and asked her for a number and also got kinda aggressive because i was mad and confused. Anyways she’s the queen of the bitches toally immature , incapable of being civil and i pity any other friend she has. )Anyways, college has not worked out for me so here are some tips to actually do well in college for people with social anxiety. These are things i wish i had learned myself.

I apologize for being crass and not being encouraging and sounding like a drill instructor. I think in advice columns people often try to be gentle and encouraging and uplifting. But to me that has always sounded like bullcrap, like something that’s overly optimistic and pretends that the problem being faced can be solved with a simple solution, and said solution is very easy to do. And in reaction to that I think that it doesn’t apply to my situation because general advice can’t fit all specific situations and the reader knows how to live their life better than a piece of paper that doesn’t even know their name. And ultimately that’s true. All i can do is try to convince you, and unlike most advice columns i shouldn’t expect you to just blindly take my advice because i asked for advice, i need to work to convince you. Because for you, there is always the option to spend the time it takes to follow my advice watching youtube. So i’ll try to include all counterarguments and argue against it. I will say i have had aaaaalll these counterarguments in my mind at some points and have seen the logic in all of them.

PART I: Orientation

1: Get out of your room and do shit NO MATTER FUCKING WHAT.

NO REALLY GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND DO SHIT. What if you would rather do it at another time because right now your bed is really comfy? Make yourself fucking do it.. What if you’re not interested in the orientation activities? Doesn’t matter. Go.  What if you’re like me and are insanely socially awkward? You’re afraid you’ll just end up standing there feeling really weird seeing people talk to each other and have fun while you are there frozen, panicked, and feeling like you don’t belong? Go, make yourself do it. What if no, really, I don’t get it? You’ll spend the entire time imitating a human lamppost pretending to look at your phone? You’ll stick out like a sore thumb and everybody will see how socially impaired you are? GO. You have other shit to do and it’s not practical to socialize all the time, if you enjoy reading at home more you should do what you love? You believe that if you don’t want to go, then forcing yourself to try to like something you hate is stupid? Well- actually, yes. I agree with that- but only in certain specific cases. But I’ll get back to that later. Obviously you won’t believe what i have to say. Good, i would be concerned if you did believe claims as big as mine with as little evidence as I’m providing.Why should you? I don’t know your fucking life I’m just text on a paper written by someone with an ego inflated enough to think i know the answer to a problem you can’t figure out on your own. So first things off, yes- there are a million other things you can be doing alone that will seem far more enjoyable. It’s absolutely true that spending time with friends should be enjoyable, you shouldn’t have to make yourself do extremely uncomfortable things to fit in with other people because those people won’t end up being your friends. It’s college , friends should come naturally. People make friends without having to torture themselves, that’s what should happen with real friends. But what’s also true is that people who make friends naturally also likely are more able to put themselves out there and strike up conversations with somebody they’ve never talked to one on one before naturally, and to them that doesn’t seem impossible or as crazy as someone who spontaneously strips naked.It’s hard to imagine that right? It’s a lot easier to imagine that people who strike conversations with strangers are brave as fuck but also as stupid as fuck and end up in very awkward situations that would end up being really painful to watch in a sitcom. It seems like those type of people who just make friends with strangers break social rules so fundamental that they might as well just spontaneously take a dump in front of everyone.Now that thought seems really dumb and that logic seems ridiculous. Well- yeah, I’m trying to point it out to you. But consider this, go outside and talk to the first person you see. Ask them what their favorite candy bar is. Did you do it? If not, then some of this hyperbolic logic about the social abnormality of  randomly talking to strangers applies to you.

You don’t talk to strangers, that’s the rules you’ve been taught since kindergarten. You need to have certain excuses to talk to somebody you aren’t well acquainted with because people have lives and are busy and find it weird and creepy when random strangers try to talk to them like you’re their best friend. That’s weird. People have boundaries. Talking to strangers should only take place out of necessity- needing to borrow a pencil, asking for directions, maybe if you’re super brave and willing to break some rules telling people the time when they ask for it. After that interaction you should let people get back to their lives. I mean, it seems weird and jarring when random weirdos come up to you and start telling you about their lives. So why would they think any different? And if it’s just an unspoken social rule that you don’t talk to strangers without a valid reason unless you want to look creepy and weird, then going to events and clubs that none of your friends are at seems like a stupid idea when social permits you can’t talk to any of the strangers attending. At that point you’re just watching other friends talk. It seems stupid AF. So here’s my response. Yes, your logic for not talking to strangers is right- mostly. Obviously things aren’t that concrete and the social world has nuance and you’ll expect me to tell you that the social world isn’t that black and white and you need to trust in humanity and things will be easier and turn out better than you think. But what authority would i be saying that on? None. I haven’t given you any evidence. It’s at least 3x at hard to find reasons to trust humanity than to find reasons to hate it. So to just blindly trust that humanity will forgive you and strangers will be more open to other strangers talking to them is not a great idea.

Yes you are right. And you are right in saying my next advice about nuance is kinda odvious and patronizing and bullshit. But i’ll try to make it as down to earth and as logical as possible

The circumstances in which you can talk to strangers are less rigid than you might conceptualize them to be. Now I could be totally cliche and say that people are more forgiving than you think. Well- sadly there isn’t that much evidence to think contrary.  And ultimately, because i seem to forget this point while i’m writing much like i forget the arguements of my essays midway through, I can’t convince you in any way that people will be more receptive than you fear they will be if you follow my advice and put yourself out there by being really awkward.  This is more to remind myself than remind you.

Anyways, there are cases where social rules about talking to strangers are a bit more flexible. Now i’m making a large claim here so don’t think I think this applies universally. But in general as a hard fast set of rules,  how much you can talk to strangers depends on the context. It’s creepier in some places than in others. For example, you don’t talk to strangers if you probably won’t ever see them again. Don’t talk to them on the subway because the subway can be full of hella seedy people. Same with the bus. People sitting next to you in class? Definite yes if you need to borrow a pencil, didn’t hear what the teacher said, maybe they have the most amazing shoes if you’ve ever seen and you’re feeling social. Sure.Lines? Maybe i’ll discover that i’m thinking too rigidly and it’s actually not as creepy as it seems. I feel like if the thing you are waiting for is specific enough to qualify as a same interest then probably yes. Not a definitive FUCK YES ITS AN ODVIOUS EXCUSE but, yes, if you’re feeling slightly brave. So lines to comicon? Yes odvious conversation starters, what’s your cosplay, how are you enjoying the con, ect? Lines for free food? Eh, depends on if there’s an odvious reason to talk, like complaining about how long the line is (of course, afterwards you can either let the conversation die out, making the comment feel pointless, or come up with a way to keep it going.). As you can see, I’m still struggling with a verdict on that one.

And that’s the thing. Even though this thing is hella long, I’m not ultimately going to convince you. Learning is a long and tedious process, especially when it involves not just integrating one snippet of information into an already existing conceptual model, but creating an entirely new model by changing the structure of the old one. There are papers about how it takes 7 year old kids weeks to change conceptions of a flat earth to that of a round one, even if you tell it to them and say that science has proved it. Toddlers don’t understand that a solid but opaque tube can redirect a ball so it doesn't fall directly down below the point at which it was dropped.  I took a whole class about this shit called cognition in STEM education. So you’re going to have to learn all this shit i’m telling you right now for yourselves by seeing it in real life and having the information present itself over and over again until you’re able to restructure your concept of what social rules are. ANd this is hella complicated. I mean it’s not just our model of the earth we’re talking about, it’s our model of theory of mind, our conceptual model of how people work, how socializing works, how relationships work. This set of social rules I am asking you to redefine is something we have each been constructing since the day we were born. Even if I wrote an entire book, you’re going to have to convince yourself. All I can do is get the ball rolling by what little credibility and power of conviction some text on a page can lend to you.

So what’s my main point here? (heh, by now you would think I’m just writing to myself. Well, you’re correct and I’d be very shocked if you are still reading this). Social rules aren’t as rigid as you may conceptualize them because they depend highly on context. The thing is that evaluating context can be extremely taxing. That involves working memory and executive functioning and shit. You have to hold in your mind one topic (social rule) while you think about the situation in which it takes place and evaluate whether the context is an exception to the rule or not by looking into the reasons for the rule and other places the rule might apply and - let’s just say it involves a lot of thought, especially when rules that have worked for you pretty reliably have been violated. Because that’s the thing. You have followed these social rules all your life, and they likely have brought you some ups and some downs. They’re reliable. Sooooo, why would you evaluate context? Because you are still reading this my friend. And because if you don’t things will never change.

And this, ultimately is why I’m writing this monstrosity. Because I wish I knew this freshmen year at Reed. I wish somebody had tried this hard to convince me because maybe I wouldn’t today be facing the pain of having to start and find a stable friend group as a junior because I don’t have one yet. Through a lot of pain and trying and hoping that things will turn out well if i give it more time, they haven’t. After three years. And it sucks ass having to sit in your dorm, knowing that people you have trying to get to include you in a friend group are going to events without you. It is depressing as hell seeing everybody have friends around you almost effortlessly, and having nothing. And it sucks ass having some blog on the internet remind you of this. But what i can say is that I can’t tell you that your efforts will pay off. Hell, I don’t know if my efforts will pay off. I can’t say that you won’t embarrass yourself or you are stronger than you think and if you do this enough you will have friends. It certainly hasn’t worked for me yet. But I can say this. WAITING IS MISERABLE. Feeling helpless is miserable. Sitting in your dorm watching john oliver knowing that people out there have friends, are having fun, have lives, while you are doing nothing special with a friday night and haven’t done anything special on a friday night since high school is fucking misery. It destroys you. And I used to think the pain was because I had no friends and was born with a disorder than gives me social difficulties. And granted, it’s largely because of that. But what makes the pain stick is the hopelessness. It’s how pathetic it feels to have so much social anxiety that you are being ignored, that nothing is going right for you socially, and you can’t make yourself respond to it by taking agency. You can’t get out of bed. You can’t control your fate, hell you can’t control your ability to go out in public. You feel utterly helpless and angry at the world, angry at yourself. And it’s the self hatred that gets you.

So yes, I can’t claim that going to clubs will make you feel less socially awkward, that you will socially improve. I’m saying that in the long run, and even right now if you’re just starting freshman year, you will like yourself more if you put yourself out there. Putting yourself into awkward situation reminds you that you are resiliant, that you are in control of your own destiny. That even if you can’t control whether you succeed or not, you can control if you try. And it’s the trying that will ultimately make you feel good about yourself, because it’s what’s in your hands. If success is not fully in your hands, than it is nothing to be proud of. The achievement is in the attempt, in the resilience. By being able to take a risk, by being willing to take a fall and sacrifice time and effort and know that it can all be for nothing, there is achievement. Trying and failing shows resiliance, it shows strength, it shows that you will not shatter like glass. It’s not as good as success, but it makes you feel in control. Which is what will determine when the next bad thing happens whether you are able to take the hit and keep moving on, or whether it will bring you to your knees and you will cry in your room for hours. Resiliance saves so much pain in the end. IF you run every day and train for a marathon, you will be able to run it successfully. If you don’t run and don’t train you will not complete the marathon without collapsing. And life will throw you marathons and you will have to run them. And you can run them either having trained or not having trained. Now this seems cliche, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Maybe i got carried away with this paragraph and this metaphor. But there will be a day where you will need to know that you can try and fail because that knowledge will give you the strength to keep going. Knowing your own resilience will save you so much pain in the future. So even if trying never produces a result, if putting yourself into social situations only leads to awkwardness and embarrassments . it will make you more capable of dealing with the pain of not being able to attain the social success you try so hard to attain.  

So yeah, I’m just words on a screen. But start small. Say hi to a random person in the hall (scandalous I know!), ask somebody in class for a pencil even if you don’t need one. You can’t control whether people will be your friends. But you can defeat the fear if you can show yourself you can handle the fall. You might not get results. And your fear won’t just go away. It will feel just as painful, just as heart wrenching. And you might feel horrible before, during and afterwards and probably feel mortified and constantly rehearse how it could have gone better. But you will have done it. And that’s worth a lot and will pay off the next time you actually get rejected and it matters. It’s not about them, it’s not about results, it’s not about whether the interaction feels awkward or not. It’s about feeling like you are doing something other than waiting for somebody else in effort to control your own destiny. No dramatic changes, no changing who you are, just one reasonable step at a time as you grow more comfortable. You will fall. There will be times your fear wins and you go and hide. It’s inevitable. There’s so much more power backing your fear than your bravery. Just focus on that lack of control, on the resentment for all the efforts that have never worked, and then go and determine whether you are willing to let that continue it’s worth giving up the safety of following the routine that has led you to where you are now. And maybe, there’s a tiny chance that you will find the courage to break the hard fast social rules you have known all your life for just a moment. Do what you can. If you decide to go out one in 100 times you have debated doing something social but ended up in your room it’s a success. If you can-trust yourself. If you can’t , just take a microscopic step ahead. That’s enough. Don’t change yourself and your cautiousness for just words on a paper.  

[ashleysillustrations]

Contact With Industry - Steve Brown

My fifth Contact with industry is a children's illustrator called Steve Brown who lives in the uk and is represented by the Bright Agency.

I love your textured work it brings your illustrations to life, what are the 5 things that inspire your work?

Oh God I don’t really know, I’m not quite sure where most of it comes from. I have periods were I am totally inspirationaly numb and then I have times where ill produce something new everyday. I would probably say, if I had to try and narrow things down..

1: stupid and funny stuff my kids say, that sometimes inspires me to write or draw something.

2:watching a lot of cartoons etc with the kids, ive always loved cartoons and grew up in the late 70’s early 80’s when all the best stuff was on tv.

3: I like to look through other illustrators pages on twitter, facebook, instagram etc and sometimes something might spark some inspiration off.

4: Again I like to look at other artists work, I like to study their tecniques and I get ideas for my own stuff sometimes while I do that.

5: I don’t sleep that well, and a lot of ideas for stories and images pop in my head while im laying there so I tend to write a quick  ote then and there so I don’t forget it in the morning.

What type of illustration projects are you most interested in?

My ultimate goal is to write and illustrate my own books, I am currently trying out my writing and sending stuff to my agent, and thankfully getting some good responses from her, and they are being pitched to publishers and book fairs so fingers crossed they will develop into something soon. But I love illustrating anything really, I like things with a good sense of humor, stupid humor and gross stuff. I want to illustrate stuff for kids, I see lots of stuff out there at the moment that are beautiful illustrations but I feel that the stories are for the adult and not the child, kids want fun and adventure and that’s what I want to do. 

When working for clients do you ever get uninterested or uninspired of a project? If so what motivates you to finish the project?

Yes unfortunately sometimes I get like that, the story can sometimes be a bit boring, especially if they are for really young readers. I try to focus on the character design as that’s a part I really enjoy, I try to think of each project as a learning experience in the business and in my development as an artist, plus I need to pay the mortgage haha so gotta get it done.

 I tend to have creative blocks,do you get them? If so how do you overcome them?

Have that for sure, more often than I like! Don’t know why I get them and don’t know how I get rid of them.. ill have days where everything I do is rubbish or I actually cant think of a thing to do, then all of a sudden something clicks and its gone!.. so im afraid im of no help there, I think all creative get that and you have to just power through as much as possible.

When deciding to become an illustrator how did you start to gain work? what was your strategy?

I was a Paramedic for 9 years but knew I wanted to leave and try to become an illustrator, ( I went to art college when I left school for a few years) and was going to slowly die down the ambulance work and try to break into the illustration world, but I ended up with a bad back injury which put me off work sick for 7 months and I was in constant pain. Drawing was the only thing to that took my mind off it all, I decided  to try and approach agents to see what responses I got. I Got signed after 6 weeks and started from there really, when I finally got better enough to try and go back to work, I only managed 2 shifts and I was back in hospital, came home and my wife told me I wasn’t going back, and wrote my resignation letter right then. If it wasn’t for my wifes amazing support I couldn’t do any of this. I was with that agent for 2 and a bit years, then moved to Bright. Don’t know how I would of got on if I hadn’t got signed by an agent?

Where do your colour pallets come from?

I tend to just put down what feels right for that image.. some publishers like a certain palette for there books which can be hard if I feel it’s a bit too garish but I tend to balance that out with doing a piece of my own to satisfy my needs haha.

 My personal workstation if full of all sorts of paint, pens and book etc… what does your work station consist of and what is your favourite medium to work with?

It consists of a bloody mess!!.. im actually buying a new studio in the next couple of months.. I currently have a summer house at the bottom of the garden but am changing it for a big Log cabin, so will have lots more space.. my desk has my large cintiq on it plus lots of pens and pencils etc, I have lots of books of illustration and childrens books, comics and graphic novels. Loads of full up sketchbooks and spare sketchbooks. I Also have a drawing/art table which is currently full of marvel and star wars toys etc and the od harry potter wand.

I like to doodle in my sketchbook, I used to do a lot of watercolour and copic markers etc but I use photoshop now for my proper finished work, I do love to sketch in my sketchbooks but I really do love to work digitally no.

Is there any advice you would give an illustration student finishing university wanting to become a children's book illustrator?

Make sure you have a lot of savings hahaha I would say make sure you have a passion for it as its hard going being freelance, its hard to not have that certainty of a regular wage. But I think it is worth it, I am 40 in April and the happiest ive ever been. Its an amazing job when you have the work, but also a scary job when it quietens down.

My advice would be keep pushing yourself, say yes to everything and then work out how you’ll do it afterwards, try not to put too many walls up. Doing something new and different is scary but can also be very rewarding.

You can check out Steve's work here -  http://www.stevebrownillustration.co.uk