#especially not shen coupled with my bad memory - causing me to simply forget the problems rather than slowly working towards a fix for them
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PHROOOOOG, I’M GONNA CRYYYYY 💖💖😭💖💖
I’ve been making some choices in-game for the sake of accuracy to me irl, but they’ve started to catch up with me mentally ✌️✌️✌️
We’re working on it though, just gotta keep at it and learn how to stop myself more in the future ��
#reblog#it means a LOT to read this ;;;w;;;#I still have a long way to go - a lot of impulses to work on getting rid of#keeping mindfulness for myself and stuff - etc. etc.#but I hope I can get there with time#man - I wish it was easier to uphold the good vibes and tell yourself ”no this is where you stop.“#to stop myself from pushing myself too far for the sake of ”keeping the peace“#to stop myself when my brain goes ”it’ll be fun - just a little bit and then I’ll stop“ despite regretting is once the high is gone#to stop myself from getting into the bad scrubbing loop over my ichthyosis cus ”it needs to hurt for it to help“#to stop telling myself ”eating now will ruin the next meal so I’ll just wait“ instead of ruining a schedule for a single day -#- for the sake of not starving or whatever#augh - so many hurtful behavior things that make me upsetti but then I just do them so easily like it’s second nature 😡#which I guess they kinda are at this point-#I would put up notes to remind myself to stay mindful of my own well-being#but I think I would just get annoyed or feel bad about letting myself down - and then promptly disregard the note#I need to find a better coping mechanism than distracting myself and delaying facing the problem man#even if it’s fine for now#but it’s NOT built to last#especially not shen coupled with my bad memory - causing me to simply forget the problems rather than slowly working towards a fix for them#man oh my 😔#GOOD HEALTH IS A PAIN IN THE ASS BUT I CAN GET THERE#I have a support system that I love and trust and they’ve got me when I don’t got myself#I CAN DO THIS 💪💪💪💪💪#I would apologize for the dump but it’s my post originally and it’s kinda a staple of mine to go off in the tags#my space to do this and I will use it as I see fit#a kindness I’m bestowing myself#stay safe out there#on a side note#I should clean this up or something sometime
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