#especially loveless aros. we are constantly treated like we're just being negative and trying to bring other people down

[genderkoolaid]

#I mean I guess#it’s a fair point but it’s a little subjective#i agree with OP up until they use the word ‘tainted’#so much of our existence as people is built off someone’s urge to fuck someone else it’s not surprising those connotations exist#and while it’s valuable to discuss the deconstruction of those connotations#‘tainted’ is such an inherently negative word that I sorta wish OP reflected on how really beautiful love and relationships can be#even if they don’t relate to the experience much

I get what you're saying, but it's kind of rude to tell an aromantic person they need to "reflect on how beautiful love can be", especially when they are specifically talking about how amatonormativity alienates us from language. It's upsetting to not be able to talk about how you feel and the relationships you do have when everything is assumed to be romantic, and romantic attraction is given precedence over everything else. Aromantic people are extremely alienated from relationships and the language used to describe them (at least in English) because of this. I imagine OP used a negative word on purpose because this can have a really negative impact on aromantics; it's upsetting to constantly have to try and navigate language and relationships when everything is romantic by default, especially if you are romance-repulsed and that distresses you.

I'm not saying this was your intent, but to me, it feels kind of... a bit too close to "why do aromantics have to be so negative about love, stop trying to ruin it for the rest of us just because you're bitter!" for comfort. We are allowed to express negative feelings about love and romance, and we shouldn't have to pander to alloromantic people's positive feelings about it, you know? Most aromantic people have had to think a lot more and a lot deeper about the meaning of love and their feelings about it than alloromantic people have.

It bothers me how, at least in the English language, so many seemingly neutral and basic words are assumed to have romantic connotations by default. When you “like” somebody it means you have a crush on them, and when you’re in a “relationship” it means you’re romantically involved… even though “like” and “relationship” are among the most basic words to describe any human relations whatsoever.

We can’t even have language to describe how we relate as people without it being tainted by amatonormativity.