#especially because i live in a fucking continental region

[spring-ephemeral]

started playing pokemon go again recently. unfortunately i immediately got into the collector mindset about the vivillon patterns but finding friends from sandstorm/ocean/sun regions that actually send gifts has been literally impossible

[fitemilk]

after three decades on this planet i discovered that i’m a shy extrovert with social anxiety and this has made things easier. like. if i didn’t realize that i might have never met m. and m is also a shy extrovert with social anxiety. we both went out of our comfort zones to meet new people and it was so fucking worth it bc her and her mother are beautiful spirits and wonderful people with only good in mind.

we bonded over being slytherin and video games (especially pokemon and zelda). we go out every community day in pokemon go. we went to dc to see a concert she really wanted to go see. we went to the outer banks to catch a regional pokemon and we had fun the entire day. we’ve been places. we enjoy things. and it’s something i’ve been seriously lacking in my friendships, just going out and experiencing shit.

she wants to go to nyc for next new years. i said i was on board. there’s plenty of stories to tell. i don’t want to live an under-experienced life like i have been leading, y’know? cause when dad tells his stories about hitchhiking the continental states in the 70s, it makes me want to go and live too?

like. on new years. i was really wasted and was up late, into the morning. i decided to stay over her house bc obviously. i got so into my feelings that i started crying over my ex-friend and my sister, feeling so sad that i cannot be around them due to how they hurt me + trigger me. and that they’re people i also can’t be around because they have stunted my growth.

they sat with me and heard me out and hugged me, hydrated me, hearing them say it was the right decision, tucked me into a weighted blanket, gave me a xanax so i could fall asleep. and when i woke up i got a brand new pair of jeans. and i could have broke down right on the spot because they’re so thoughtful and wonderful. but i was so thankful, and grateful, that i have these people in my life. this was probably the best thing to have happened in 2018. zero rejection. only love. almost instantaneous comfort. i love them so much

[movieswithkevin27]

American Honey

A hypnotic tone poem that explores the lost children of capitalism, seeking to make ends meet by any means necessary, American Honey is a Southern-set film that soaks up the essence of Antebellum life as well as the brutal poverty and isolation that goes hand-in-hand with life for many in the South and America. Telling the story of a group of lost souls that party, drink, smoke, and fuck, as they try and sell magazines throughout the midwest, American Honey brings kids together from all over the South and shows the division that exists in America between the rich and the poor. Wrapping you around its finger via its excellent soundtrack, unique camera work, and its essence as a film, American Honey is a harsh and truly exhausting film to watch for nearly three hours, but is an excellent slice of Americana and the underbelly of the nation from Brit Andrea Arnold.

The real highlight of this film is undoubtedly its music. Pulling from a wide range of inspirations from country to Bruce Springsteen to metal and especially to hip-hop, American Honey is a celebration of every corner of America. Though most of the characters hail from the south or midwest - Texas, South Dakota, Maryland, Florida, etc. - there are some from other states such as New Jersey and California. With its characters and music genres pulling from across the continental United States and reflecting popular music from various races and income levels, the film may largely focus on poverty and whites, but strives to encapsulate the American experience and influence that has on everyone who lives in the country. With gorgeous shots of the sun setting on the horizon or lens flares where the sun seems to blot out the whole image, Arnold captures the beauty of America wherever she goes. Beautifully maintained upper class homes, rugged oil fields, and open desert, are all given their due and show just how diverse the country in appearance, but one thing remains constant: how beautiful the land is no matter where you go. Through her camera finding this beauty and the diverse soundtrack, Arnold always sets the mood just right to be able to soak in this beauty and celebrate the nation's diversity wherever the group of kids travels.

In exploring this diversity though, the film really explores the divide between poor and rich that exists in America and also shows where they are the same. From pampered villages in rich sections of Kansas City to the poor backwoods of Rapid City, the film never shies away from showing the divide. For the former, the worst thing that happens is a daughter and her friends dancing provocatively to rap music in the backyard. For the latter, the mother is too drugged to even notice what her kids are doing. This divide between poor and rich is also shown by the traveling band of magazine sellers who freak out at the big buildings in Kansas City. For them, they have never seen anything like this with little-to-no big cities in the towns where they live.

Yet, what is always common is how everybody is out for themselves and pitying those beneath them. People with Christian bumper stickers blow them off, oil workers pay for sex from the girls, and rich Texans try to exploit innocent girls by getting them liquored up. Nobody has their hands clean and that is, unfortunately, what really brings everybody together: selfishness. This selfishness is often derived out of pity where some people either respond to the feeling by offering a helping hand and buying the magazines. Or, they seek to just exploit the people and take advantage of their position as "superior". Yet, it is in the former that the film really finds its kind central heart. With characters such as lead Star (Sasha Lane), buying food for an impoverished family or taking care of kids that are not her's, the film shows what is possible when somebody feels not just pity, but empathy and offers a helping hand to those who are worse off than themselves.

Using unique camera work to capture everything, Arnold's occasionally hand-held camera in the van is really the highlight of this film. With music playing loudly in the back and constant extreme close-ups jumping from character-to-character, the film often feels like a home video. Casual, unfocused, and meandering, in this tone, American Honey seems to just be capturing events partaken in by real people at an actual point in time in American history. It is this unstructured approach that really makes the film feel its length and be mentally exhausting with very few plot threads that exist in this film to really weave it all together. The only thing left is the thematic considerations and beautiful camera work and, as a result, the film is one that really relies upon its tone to capture the imagination of the audience and provide the audience with the mental stimulation they require. In this endeavor, its hypnotic approach to filmmaking is mostly successful.

However, no matter how dressed up the film is, American Honey is certainly cliche. It is a road movie to its very core with a wide-eyed protagonist looking to run away from her dead-end life, only to wind up finding people in the same position as her. None of these people have roots and instead take to the road to try and get away from where they grew up and stay away. Along the way, Star's relative innocence is constantly challenged by her hard partying and exhibitionist-inclined co-workers. She sees the brutality of life as lived by the poor and desperate, both in the magazine crew and throughout the heartland of America. Meeting random people who are either odd or transformational, she learns about life and how hard everybody has it throughout the country. It is not just her or her relatives. Everybody has messed up lives where they struggle to make it all come together at the end of the day. Everybody wants to run away, but not everybody does due to having roots set down in a place. Or, some are on the road, but want to be home and be with their families. In essence, though everybody's issues are about the same, everybody approaches those issues differently. Some want to get away from them. Some are happy to have them, as long as they are surrounded by loved ones. However, none of these are really original comments or experiences. Its basis as a road movie where she meets people who teach her about life is the set-up of every road film ever released. Arnold manages to bury this lead quite nicely, but beneath the shimmering light of the sun is a film that has nothing really original about its premise. Its themes are nice and terrifically developed, but its a road movie to its core and never loses sight of this, to the film's detriment.

What is shocking about the film is its complete lack of characters. We know Star, but nobody else really stands out. Jake (Shia LaBeouf) is easily the most engaging character in the film with LaBeouf showing why he is the biggest name in the cast by delivering an excellent performance, but his character is a mystery. Star is quite a tame character and receives the most character development, in spite of not being the most compelling character in the film. That title belongs to Jake who we hear a lot about, but it always conflicts with everything else we know about him. Who is he? What is he about? Sure, he can howl like a wolf, but there is no development of this man. However, he does get a lot more than the other people in the van. Krystal (Riley Keough) is a hard-nosed businesswoman who hates Star because she sleeps with Jake and Jake belongs to Krystal. There is the guy from Baltimore who takes his penis out every chance he gets. The girl who likes Harry Potter. The girl with the snapback hats. The one with blue hair. The guy with the squirrel. The guy who drives. Plus a few other people who I forget. American Honey, in essence, never really cares to develop anybody beyond Star. She is the only focus and it really hurts the end product. The film is not just about her. It is about every person who wants to run away from their circumstances and travel the road. It is about the abject poverty and desperation that exists in the southern and midwestern United States that nobody cares about, in spite of some pockets of wealth being in the region. Nobody tries to help them. They are just nameless people floating by. Unfortunately, American Honey never tries to show what makes these other kids tick and what led them to traveling and selling magazine subscriptions. Instead, it is all about Star who is the audience surrogate and, as such, a bit too wide-eyed and bushy-tailed to be a real person.

American Honey does not live up to its billing as an instant classic by many internet film buffs, but it is a good film. It is flawed with poor character development and an over-reliance on road movie cliches, but it is an oddly engaging and truly exhausting look at the division between rich and poor in America. It is a film about the people forgotten by the upper class in the nation and the scraps they are left to fight over. There are distractions along the way and they find joy in music or the company of others. However, there is very little left for them that is not in the van. This is the only way they can make a living and they must scratch and claw to make it all. These are people who work so hard, they do not have dreams or have never been asked about them. The only dream they have is for the day to finish so they can go rest after working hard all day before having to do it again tomorrow. As a result, American Honey is a film about people who rarely, if ever, have their stories in film. It is a celebration of the people growing up and living in poverty and the struggles they go through to just make it by for another day. With a strong performance from Shia LaBeouf, an excellent soundtrack, and beautiful camera work, American Honey is a good road film that is a truly epic artistic accomplishment by director Andrea Arnold.