#especially as someone who had quite a few regrets and frustrations in the past

[you-shiny-thing]

When Leveret first awoke from stasis, they were disoriented, confused. The world had changed much since their time, and the familiar people and places were gone. Their search for answers led them to Cetus. There they ended up talking with a local fisher, but the two of them got along like oil and water, every word aggravating the both of them. And so the fisher dropped them off like a kavat holding a kitten by the metaphorical scruff at an elderly basket weaver, Ayalena, known for her patience.

Ayalena proved to be worthy of her reputation. She was kind and warm, taking her time with Leveret. Like taming a wild animal. She sat Leveret down and taught them how to weave baskets. Leveret quickly grew annoyed at this, failing to see the point. They were impatient, and vented out their frustrations both on their poor basket and verbally. They talked about whatever came to mind: their frustrations, their anxieties, and their questions. Ayalena responded, calmly, to each and every question, and emphatised with their struggles, letting them talk freely. All the while the both of them kept weaving, sometimes talking, sometimes in silence. And it let Leveret think, and Ayalena in turn to explain. Having something to do and someone to listen while they tried to reorient themselves felt... calming. Grounding.

Not only did it give them time and space to reflect, it also gave them ideas. The act of creating instead of destroying was something new, something novel almost, but it felt pleasant. And the craft itself was actually quite fun, once you got past the first stages. Leveret thought on their new skill, and their past. More out of curiosity than practicality, with a bit of modifying of the technique they found they could braid their long hair into a decent braid. Before... everything, back when they were younger, their older sibling Ray used to braid their hair for them. But after their relations soured, Leveret had stopped asking for them to, and Ray had stopped offering. Leveret's new technique looked quite different from how Ray had done it, but there was something comforting about that. Something new to replace the old memories. A new path to walk.

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Control Contained

Loki & teen!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: the Avengers take you in when you develop powers, but no one seems to be able to help you control them—until a certain god of mischief steps in

Warnings: panic attack. Canon? Who’s that? We’re setting this in the Avengers compound like it’s 2012, deal with it.

“Hey, I need you to focus.”

You swear Steve—yes, the Captain America—had said that to you at least a dozen times, but you still couldn’t quite get it.

“It’s not working,” you insisted.

“That’s because you’re not focusing.”

“I’m trying!”

Steve’s eyes softened—you hated it when he did that, it meant that he’d given up on being Captain and was ready to be Steve; it meant he thought you were done for the day.

“Look,” he sighed. “I think maybe you’ve had enough.”

“My powers always come out when I can feel them—“

“But that’s dangerous,” Steve argued. “Strength has to be controlled.”

“Yours,” you corrected. “But mine is different—mine is like Loki’s.”

“Not this again,” Steve sighed. “We talked about this. Loki isn’t trusted enough to train new recruits, especially not you.”

“What do you mean especially not me?” You asked.

“Well, there have been a few incidents,” Steve said.

“That was right when I found out about my powers,” you said. “I’m better now. Besides, no one got hurt.”

“Not yet,” Steve said. The grimace on his face showed that he regretted the words the moment they left him. “That’s not what I meant. It’s not your fault, I know you’re trying—“

“But I’m so dangerous that you don’t think I should be around bad influences, is that it?” You took a deep breath, trying to curb your growing frustration. You could feel your powers pulsating beneath your skin.

“That’s not—“

“Why am I even here? So you can keep an eye on me?”

“Kid, stop, I didn’t mean—“

“Forget it.” You shook your head. “Just forget all of it.” You turned to go, but Steve gently grabbed your arm.

“Wait—“

“I said forget it!” You jumped in surprise when a burst of orange shot from your hands, blasting Steve back against the far wall.

Your breath hitched in your throat, and you stared with wild eyes at your friend, your mentor, an avenger, lying on the ground because of your powers. Powers you didn’t know how to use, powers that could hurt people. Steve groaned and lifted himself to his feet.

“You need to calm down,” he barked. “You can’t just—hey, easy, just breathe.” Steve’s tone softened when he saw the way you were trembling and struggling for breath. “I’m totally fine.”

“I’m sor—I’m—I…” you backed away from the man, staring down at your hands. Why had you done that? What if it happened again? You saw Steve approaching you from your peripheral, but you weren’t about to let him.

What if you hurt him?

You wouldn’t give yourself the chance. You turned on your heel and ran out the door before Steve even got close to you.

…

Loki was a bit wary of being around the new teenager in the tower—mostly because the other Avengers side-eyed him every time he so much as spoke to you, as if they thought he were corrupting you.

He felt for you; he couldn’t imagine having to learn about his powers surrounded by—to your eyes—a lot of heroes, nearly all with superhuman abilities. It had been just him and his mother when he learned how to use magic, and he hadn’t even let Thor watch.

It was as if his train of thought summoned you—if only for a moment. Loki barely had time to spot you before you were brushing past him and running for your room. That was abnormal; you always greeted him, always.

“Are you alright?”

The slam of your door was his only answer.

…

Someone was knocking. You’d just hurt Captain America, your heart was pounding, you couldn’t catch your breath and someone wouldn’t stop knocking.

“Y/N? It’s Loki, can I come in?”

Your breath caught in your throat—you couldn’t answer.

“If you don’t answer me I’m going to come in.”

You opened your mouth to try again, then stopped. Did you even want to tell him to go away? After all, he was the one you’d wanted to train you.

But what if I hurt him?

It was too late, the door was opening—

“It’s alright.” Loki was in front of you before you’d even seen him enter the room. “Take a deep breath.”

You tried—you really did—but you couldn’t manage anything better than a wheezing cough before you went back to hyperventilating. Your head was fuzzy, your knee was shaking, and you just couldn’t breathe.

“Ok, too late for that,” Loki muttered to himself before reaching for you and grabbing onto your hands.

“No—“ you managed. You didn’t want to hurt him.

“It’s ok,” Loki assured you. “It’s ok. I want you to let it go—all that power that’s going through you—let it go.”

It was now that you saw the bits of orange floating around your fingers.

“No,” you whimpered. “I can’t control it.”

“You don’t have to,” Loki promised. “You can’t hurt me. Let it go.”

You closed your eyes tightly, forcing a breath in, then harshly out. With your breath, you also forced out your powers, pushing them away to where they couldn’t control you.

“That’s it.”

You snapped your eyes open; the orange of your powers was flowing over Loki’s hands and morphing into green. He was absorbing your expelled energy.

You kept pushing, forcing the magic out until you were spent and collapsing in Loki’s arms.

“It’s ok now,” he said softly. “Do you feel any better?”

You slowly pulled away, taking one deep breath, then another.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “What—what was that.”

“You were having a panic attack,” Loki said.

“I got that—I meant with the magic.”

“You’ve been tamping down your powers and your emotions for too long, haven’t you?”

You swallowed. “They—the avengers—they said I had to have control.”

“You can’t have control by shoving down your emotions,” Loki argued. “You’ve got to feel them, otherwise your powers will build up until they just want to explode. If that had happened somewhere else, it could have been bad. But I know how to absorb energy so it couldn’t go anywhere.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” You sniffled.

“Hey.” Loki patted your shoulder. “Your emotions won’t hurt people if you don’t bottle them up like that. I can teach you, really teach you, how to control your powers, and you won’t have to stop feeling. I’ll talk to the team; we will. We’ll convince them, ok?”

“Ok.” you nodded, the ghost of a smile flitting across your face.

“Ok.” Loki stood to leave, but you stopped him with a question.

“Hey Loki?”

“Yes?”

“Where did you learn all that?”

Loki’s face twisted in a smile.

“My mother helped me—when I was just about your age.”

[luukka]

The first time Jim saw her, he just ran out of glue and had a fight with his mom.

It was early in the morning and he spent all night working on his best friend's first solar surf that he planned to offer as a birthday gift in five days. He wanted it to be perfect for Satoru. He was part of the few people that wasn't disappointed in him after all, and since it's the first time he was asking for something else than food or animal books, it was the least he could do for him. He's been working on it for weeks all day long ! So he was very frustrated when his mom came into his room to tell him to do something else and help her with the housekeeping and the clients. She didn't say it like he never did, but today was a full day and Sarah felt overwhelmed, all by herself. He tried to stay put, explaining that he was too busy, but the lack of sleep made him more aggressive than he actually was and Sarah couldn't understand how important it was to him. So, before saying things he would regret, he quickly left with his work in a large bag to go to the place he liked to go when everything was wrong. That's when he arrived that he realized he had no glue left and that enraged him more that it should have. Screaming, shouting at everything and kicking anything before falling on the ground, tired.

That is then that she appeared, out of nowhere, with a soft "Excuse me ?" as if she was scared to be heard. As he was upset already, he was ready to be rude as hell toward this disturbance that probably wanted him to get his ass out of here, but the sweet smile she gave him neutralized any attempt to be annoyed. She was dressed in a red long dress with a black corset, the kind of dress that only the well established girls at his school wore, or so he remembered since he didn't go to school for ten days now, and since he never really looked at girls... He never cared about them, after all, just like he couldn't care less about these lessons he could learn at home. What intrigued him the most was the nose piercing. Neither girl at his school would have pierced their nose, especially not when they look so tidy like she did. Even Barb, one of his friends or so he could say, had a lot of tattoos but not one piercing in sight. So seeing such a girly girl with a nose piercing coming straight at he got him confused.

"Hello !" she said, her smile lighting her face, taking Jim aback. He saw this smile before, once or twice, maybe. Yeah, this girl was in another class, but she was quite popular, if he remembered correctly. Which confused him even more, popular people didn't care about him at all most of the time. Saule McCurthy, or something. "Huh... Hello ?" he answered, "Do we... know each other ?" He knew the answer, but who knew ? Maybe they did and he just didn't care about it enough to remember. "Haha, no... not really ! I was just wondering what you were doing those past days." she laughed nervously, pointing at the solar surf. Jim stayed silent, surprised about her words when her eyes suddenly widened, as if she realized what she just said. "Not that I was stalking you, or something ! I mean, I did see you a while ago but... it's just that it looks very interesting !" Jim wanted to laugh. Her deer eyes wide open and squeaky voice would've been source of jesters if he wasn't so embarrassed by the idea of someone watching him working on his solar surf - mostly because he did not work on this surf only, he had been squatting this place for a while. A lot of questions came to his mind : who was she ? Since when was she watching him ? How does she find his work ? But it was the most obvious words that came out of his mouth. "Oh, so you saw me work ?", of course she did, "Yes, I did !" she said, confident without spotting the obvious. "But... I've never seen you before ?" and he was sure of this, since it is the exact reason he chose this spot to work alone.

This is a quiet meadow with a view on the sea of clouds. An empty space with only neighbour nothing but a little cottage, shredded by time but quite nice now that he took the time to "restore" it. Nothing much, he just cleaned it a bit and used the old scrap iron as material to block some holes on the roof and the walls. It's decent now that he put a poof to rest a bit, but he highly doubted a girl like her would stay in there just to watch him from afar and then disappear until now.

"Obviously." she smiled pointing at a cliff kilometers away from them. "It's because I stayed up there, in my daddy's shed. I saw you by chance from there with his telescope." she mimicked it with her hands, "You were flying among the clouds, like a bird." she added, so lowly that Jim didn't hear her, especially as he was looking at the cliff, surprised that someone was actually working here. He didn't pay any attention to it the first time he came but now that he actually look at it, he couldn't contain a "Wow ! It's huge !" And, indeed, it was nothing like the little house he found five minutes away. The cliff was pretty far from them and yet, he could see it perfectly, so perfectly that he was wondering how he could've miss it all this time. "Yeeeaah my daddy often comes here when Dad is in a bad mood. He also likes having a lot of space when he works, so he moved from the capital for here. Anyway !" she brushed off while sitting next to him, "Sooo what is it ?" but Jim didn't say a word for a moment, surprised by the sudden scent of lavender and cinnamon mixed with sawdust. The gaze she gave him startled him because she laughed nervously, playing with her fingers "Sorry, did I bother you ? I was just curious...", "No it's fine." he quickly said, looking away. Somehow, he knew she would leave if he hadn't say something. She then stayed still, listening to Jim talking about his birthday gift, where he found some of his materials, how frustrated he was by the foot straps because it should be larger, and how much he needed to quick find glue. "And I still have not find a way to solder the motor... it's not perfect, but..." "It's AWESOME !" he heard before he could finish his sentence. "I have never seen such work before ! And you said you got it from random materials ? That's insane ! What motor did you use ? Oho, that's an old model ! I thought they didn't make these anymore... Did you use resin for a plastic effect ? Oh ! Did you paint your signature ? It's cool ! I have one too, but it's not that nice. Ah ! Seems like it use solar power and fuel !? Is the fuel an assurance ? That's brillant ! Very clever ! Wait, wait ! With what have you filed these helix ? Even daddy would not let me use a metal file !" she claimed passing a finger on one of the pale "So sharp ! That's some pro work !" She kept admiring the unfinished surf while Jim was seriously considering pinching himself. A pretty girl, coming out of nowhere, was talking to him and was actively excited by something as ungraceful as a solar surf ? This had to be some weird piece of his imagination. "Are you... do you really like that kind of stuff ?" he asked. She then went quiet, playing with her fingers again, and he felt that she was going to tell a truth he didn't want to hear. Something among the lines of "Not really, I just saw you being upset at something and just wanted you to shut up." If that so, then she made him lost his time and it already got him upset even more.

But that's not what she said. "Well... yeah... I know it's not very lady-like of me, though... almost all my professors tell me so. Even my dad sometimes thinks I should have more soft passions but engines are way more cool ! Uh- I mean..." her eyes widened again and she started moving her hands all around her face. "Sorry, I'm pushing it again ! It-it's just that, uh, kids my age do not care at all about these kind of things and-uh, you know, they think I'm just a weird, rich and spoiled girl, haha... I bet you thought the same ! It's fine, forget it, I'm used to it. Oh ! No way ! Is it a solar sail ?! It's not easy to find one ! Where did you find it ?" And while she was admiring the sail as if she had never seen one before, Jim felt something coming off his chest. It was like the more she talked, the more comfort he felt and that is something he only felt with Satoru. He didn't know who said she was a spoiled girl, but they were wrong. "Uhm... would you mind if I stay ? To watch. I can help too ! Even if I don't know how to..." "It's fine." he accepted, "You can stay, but you should tell me your named, lady." He restrained a laugh when she looked at him with an embarrassed smile and her hands on her face. "Oh, yes, of course... my name !" she cleared her throat and landed a hand that Jim shook carefully, but realized her hands were almost as rough as his. "Ivonne McKeith ! But you can call me Ivy." Ivy McKeith ! Of course, it was. "Sounds great. I'm Jim Hakwins. Nice to meet you, Ivy !" "You took the words right of my mouth, Jim ! So, what's the plan ?" For the rest of the afternoon, Jim got a lot of help from Ivy. She got him the glue he needed from her personal stock at her father's shed and then listened while he was slowly but surely talking about how he was surprised when Satoru asked for a solar surf, especially since he's a bat himself, how he still bought a book he knew his friend wanted for a while and that it took him weeks of works and months of savings to get enough to buy it. She listened to him with her whole attention, gasping at a moment, laughing at another, and before they realized, it was dark and Ivy's father called her back.

"It was fun, today !" she claimed, dusting her dress with one hand. "I see you at school, Monday ?", "Oh, uh... yeah, probably." he said in a whisper. "Good ! You will see me in the east hall, I'm staying there all the time ! First break, lunch, second break, skipping classes..." Mr. McKeith called Ivy, cutting her for good. "I'm coming ! Well, see you, Hakwins !" she waved at him with a last bright smile before running to her father. As she was walking away, Jim waved back, murmuring as if she was still next to him "See you, McKeith."

When he finally got home, Jim felt better, even lighter than these past days. He even washed the dishes and made dinner for his mom and Dr. Doppler that stayed a bit to help clean the place. But a question was bugging him.

While eating, he put on his fork and asked his mom "If a person told you that they wanted to see you somewhere soon... and you wanted to see them again too," he started, choosing his words carefully, "But you don't want to go to that place ? Like, at all. But you just met this person and you don't know if you will see them again if you don't go to that place, and you don't want to disappoint them if they're waiting for you. But at the same time, you don't know if they will actually wait for you to come because, after all, you spoke to each other only one day, and you're not really friends, and they are kinda popular so probably very busy with other people... What would you do ?"

Sarah and Dr. Doppler exchanged a look. Delbert coughed, hiding a little smile while Sarah looked at Jim, reading his eyes like when he was eight. That was how she could know what he was thinking. His eyes turned around, not wanting his mom to know what he didn't want to tell her. He didn't want to talk about this unexpected meeting. About her. He kept this to himself, to keep this safe feeling for him only, scared that, if someone else knew, this moment would faded away, as if it never happened and it was just his imagination due to sleep depraving. And if it was all a mockery, he would rather not tell anyone about it.

But Sarah smirked and said "Well, if I was so reluctant about this place, I would have explained this person right in the moment that we should choose another place !" She laughed, seeing Jim's dumbfounded face. He felt a bit stupid for not thinking something this clear earlier.

"But I would go to be sure. I would wait until they come and propose another place, next time, like the one where we met. If I want to befriend this person, I should not be scared to do things they like, but I should not be scared to tell them my opinion. And if they want to be my friend too, I'm sure they will understand me. It's not like this place will eat me alive !" "Right. Right... but what if sh-they... are not there ?" "With "what if ?"'s you can rewrite the world, Jim !" laughed Dr. Doppler, grabbing his glass of water. "I advice you to have a good night of sleep. You cant think clearly with a sleep deprived mind." Jim winced. Why did his mom had to talk about this to him ? Sarah chuckled too before saying "Maybe you'll know what you want to do, then. If not... it's up to you until the last second."

.°.°.°.°.

omg I did it finally ! it wasn't supposed to be this long but I guess it was destiny lol

I hope there's not too many mistakes and that it's clear enough 🤔 And not too cringe too 😳 but I personally think I went particularly fine with it <(* − *)>

[not-wholly-unheroic]

Oh, almost forgot)): 31 and 41, s'il te plaît ;)

31. When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

Post-redemption arc, there are a good many things that Hook regrets in his life and wishes he could take back. More than once, someone he cares about has been hurt by someone/something from his past…whether it’s the emotional pain of finding out the truth of something awful he did long ago and not quite being able to see him the same way anymore or physically getting hurt by someone he once wronged seeking revenge or the crocodile, it all makes him feel extremely guilty. Often, he has nightmares of his past life that he wakes from screaming and drenched in a cold sweat, checking his hand (and the claw if he forgot to remove it) for blood and begging for forgiveness. Sometimes the dreams are actual memories of the Lost Boys he killed or tortured; other times, they start out as a memory but the scene shifts and at the last minute, the face of the boy will morph into the face of his own child or a currently living Lost Boy or Pan with whom he has made amends. Those are some of the most horrifying dreams of all. Although historically, only the sight of his own blood has bothered him, the dreams of extreme violence now often leave him feeling physically ill. Talking about it sometimes helps, but just initially putting it into words and admitting it out loud is hard. It makes everything seem more real. So he frequently writes letters or journal entries expressing his feelings. He also has a sketchbook where he sometimes draws the scenes from dreams (or memories) that he can’t get out of his head. It’s…cathartic, in a way.

Because of his past violence, he also feels guilty (and even a little afraid of himself) whenever he feels his temper start to get the better of him. He has generally learned the “warning signs” and will step away from a situation before he blows up or lashes out. But he’s still figuring out how to safely let that anger out in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone or make him feel…wrong. Strenuous physical activity helps, but many of his preferred methods of exercise (like swordplay) aren’t really conducive to safe expressions of anger. So he frequently just hides out for awhile and feels guilty about it until the feelings of anger/frustration pass. Not the best solution, but better than hurting someone he loves.

41. What phrases/pronunciations/mannerisms did they pick up from someone/somewhere else?

Hook has been around for a looooong time and traveled to many places, so he’s had plenty of chances to integrate aspects of others into his own language, personality, and habits. As a boy at Eton, he had a teacher he admired who was also a great Shakespearean actor who rolled his r’s when on stage, and he quickly picked up the habit for when he wanted to sound particularly proper and posh.

He’s picked up a few phrases over the years that are technically anachronistic for someone from his time period—notably, “Great Scott!” Though he was trapped on Neverland for centuries, he occasionally was lucky enough to have a window to the outside world through various items that washed ashore on the Outer Islands where lost things wind up. If he was extremely lucky, sometimes, he’d find a book. Given the rarity of such items on the island, he often found himself rereading whatever he came across rather frequently and inevitably, some of the phrases and words started creeping into his own vocabulary.

He picked up the habit of smoking while in the Caribbean before his time in Neverland. A ship he plundered happened to be carrying a rather large stash of tobacco products, and though initially, he tried some merely out of curiosity and the fact that it seemed popular among men of means…but he quickly discovered that it calmed his nerves and helped him relax. He initially smoked only socially…but over time, especially after the added stress of the crocodile, he found that it had become more of an addiction.

I may think of others later, but these are a few off the top of my head.

[the-septic-maniac]

SPOILERS FOR S1 AND S2 OF CRIMINAL CASE

July 30, 2030

T.I.M.E HQ

Cafeteria

"Deraila and Amy seem awfully down today" Marina noted seeing the two with their heads down, drinking their coffee together in silence. Orlando walks in and sees the situation. “Oh my…” He notices the shirt that Deraila is wearing. It was a Hawaiian button-up but not one of her usual ones. “That shirt carries quite the history to it. A heavy history about a broken man. A broken family.” Raising an eyebrow, Marina asks “How so?” He gives a bit of a shocked look. “In the 4 years you've known Amy and the possibly more that you’ve known Deraila, they haven't told you about their old partner they used to share?”

Amy speaks up clearly irritated “Orlando, if you want to talk about The Knight Family don't do it around me and Deraila. 15 years might have passed since the entire family’s death but it weighs just about heavy as it did back then”. Deralia speaks up clearly depressed “It's fine Amy. Orlando can talk about them. It's not the most traumatizing thing I’ve witnessed in my life…”

Orlando with a bit of a heavy sadness in his voice “it is not. Ive looked at their history over the at this point in time, almost 20 years of police work, but it is…” he swallows thickly “certaintly up there. Along with witnessing multiple attempts of suicide, one of which was successful…” He looks like he is wavering. “Her partner at the time during their first years, h-had…” it seems like he’s struggling to get the appropriate words out. He keeps clearing his throat. Deraila interrupts him, speaking in a monotone voice. “Me and Jones had witnessed the suicide of our Chief at the time…”

She stands up from their bench and grabs them all some coffee. “Let me tell you a story… When I first joined the Pacific Bay team, I had just got off from Grimsbourgh, my home town and Amy was just a junior officer when we met. We both met who we knew as our senior and the original owner of this shirt, Frank Knight.” Amy nods, a solemn look on her face. Deraila took a staggered breath. “He wasn’t a good man… but dammit he wasn't a bad one either. He was broken… broken in many ways and regretted so many things…” They take a sip of his coffee. The room is filled with silence. Amy broke the silence after a few minutes.“He… despite his actions in the end almost treated me like his own kid…” Deraila had a increased frustration in their voice as they spoke “He just wanted his damned family back. And gods whe he started emptying out his heart about his past-” Amy completed their sentence “Some of his behaviors and actions made so much more sense” "the one thing I won't ever let him down on if he was alive was the murder of Danny Moto… he was just a kid when frank killed him. Sure yeah, Frank's guilt about the incident weighed heavy on his shoulders, and if there ever such thing as a afterlife, it probably still does weight heavy on him, despite what Erikah Mabayo said."

A heavy silence came into the room. Deraila's grip on her mug white-knuckled as her frustration as memories started flooding into their head. "To make matters worse for him around this time, his daughter was in a coma and he and his wife Karen Knight had just reunited. But that was short lived because of those fucking bastards Albert Tesla and Alden fucking Greene!!!" The volume of Deraila's voice had risen exponentially. The other members on the team looked on in shock as they see how angry Deraila seems. Amy placed a hand on their shoulder. "They dangled the promise of them being a whole family again. Nothing pisses me off then an empty promise. especially one that puts loved ones in a choke hold when it was just a scheme for something else!" Marina and Orlando look on in absolute shock. They haven't ever seen Deraila this angry. "TESLA HAD THE FUCKING GALL AFTER SENDING SOMEONE TO KILL FRANK TO TRY AND BAIT US AND KEEP THE UTOPIA OPEN BY USING THE KNIGHT FAMILY!" Deraila sends one of her fists flying through a wall. after that, she breaks down into tears. Amy looked like she was about to go into tears as well, remembering the happy faces of the complete Knight Family in the utopia. It was a first for Marina and Orlando to see Amy like this.

Sobbing between Amy and Deraila were the only things heard for just a few moments as those hours repeated in their heads. The desperation for answers from the suspects and their coworkers. The search for clues and the skull rattling laughter from Tesla mocking them. The adrenaline spike from the tension. Then came the bitter-sweet ending… Those smiles… the smiles of Laura and Daisy that they have only seen once but damn will they never forget them. The smiles of Frank and Karen, a broken couple that has been broken apart due to their grief but reunited for their bedridden daughter. In death, this family was reunited…

But Deraila and Amy can't help but weep at their deaths. After 15 years… they still couldn't help but cry for a family they barely knew. Yet somehow they loved the family all the same.

"I-I think I'm gonna head home after repairing this," Deraila said as she pulled her fist out of the wall, her hand a little bloody. Amy nods and says the same thing. Orlando, Marina, and Jack stand there in silence as their teammates walk off, wondering what they could possibly do to help…

[dzthenerd490]

Tales: The Polar Express

It was 1993 and Iris just sat in her room curled up in her bed. She knew that it was Christmas Eve, but she didn't care, the last thing she wanted was to be around more Foundation staff. Sure, the ones that cared for her greatly outnumbered the ones who enjoyed bullying her but right now she wanted nothing to do with ALL of them. She hoped that those that cared for her would understand her desire to just be left alone. Though her hopes were dashed almost immediately as she heard the door to her room open.

"Go away!" She was desperate for alone time, so she didn't bother being kind to whoever was at the door.

"Iris, what's wrong?" She instantly felt regret as she heard the only voice she enjoyed listening to even now. She quickly got up and turned around to see it was Meri. Iris groaned at her own frustration and just sighed as she looked at Meri.

"Sorry, Meri, I really just want to be alone right now."

"... I, I heard what happened, you should know that jerk got fired today."

"I don't care! not after... It's not what she said, she broke my camera! That was the last thing I had from my parents and she broke it." Meri was shocked by this; she had heard Foundation staff risk their entire careers by insulting anomalies protected by the Anomalous Employment Division. She herself was the victim of quite a few of those insults but never had she heard of something so vile happening before. Meri walked over to Iris and opened her arms for a hug, Iris blushed and tried to look away, but she couldn't resist and hugged Meri.

"Thanks Meri, I do like the hug." Iris then let go of Meri so they could be face to face.

"But I would really rather be alone."

"Oh... I see, but um... if you change your mind, we're having a Christmas sleepover, also it's in celebration of Sigurrós recovery. She's getting healthy and doesn't have to take as much of the drugs anymore. So just this once Ms. Corvio and Harvey are allowing her to have a sleepover with the rest of us on Christmas. Maybe being with everyone will cheer you up? We going to stay up till midnight to open our presents early!" Meri smiled beautifully but Iris was still feeling moody.

"I... I don't know Meri, I think I'll just bring everyone down with my negativity, I'm still pretty mad after all. I don't wanna ruin one of Sigurrós only days where she's out of bed. Besides you know I don't believe in Santa Claus." Meri then let go of Iris but looked down in disappointment, she really wanted Iris to come after all.

"Well, I won't force you, but just know the doors to the lounge will always be open. It's going to be hard to not have fun without you... Merry Christmas Iris." Meri then left the room finally leaving Iris alone. Iris felt bad making Meri sad like that, but she just couldn't bring herself to leave her room right now. She just wanted to be alone and maybe cry in peace with no one around her. Iris laid down on her bed not even bothering to read one of her favorite books like she normally does. She did end up crying a little and surprisingly that was what she needed to fall asleep.

***

The Sound of a train could be heard even within the Foundation Site, it woke Iris almost immediately. She only ever heard such a sound in audio recordings and the occasional cartoons Dr. Zeek and Daniel allowed her to watch. Suddenly it stopped and her door suddenly opened wide which it never would unless someone was trying to enter but no one was. Suddenly she heard a ring of a bell, she looked around but couldn't tell where it was coming from. Then it rang again this time out of her room, she went out of her room and looked around. Again, the ringing happened and was coming from down the hall.

Iris knew this was a bad idea especially to do it this late, but she was curious and also didn't care about making Foundation staff mad right now. She went down the halls and past every door and room she could while following the ringing. At first it sounded like a normal bell but soon as she continued it sounded like a soft jingle of sleigh bells. Finally, Iris made it to the place where Foundation security never let her even get close too. She made it to the exit lobby of the Site, the only entrance in and out of the Site. She looked around; it was quite big, probably to ensure that no matter how big the Foundation would be able to transport anything in and out. Though she noticed on the ceiling for cameras and on the walls were miniguns, electrified net launchers, and missile launchers. Though all the turrets were turned off, and weirdest of all despite Iris being here none of the alarms were going off.

"Iris?" Iris turned around and saw all her friends, Stella, Cidney, Sigurrós, Meri, and even little Abby was there with her necklace that kept them from feeling the effects of her anomaly. Besides that, they were all wearing different colored nightgowns much like Iris was.

"Wha- What are you guys doing here?"

"We could ask you the same question." Sigurrós then stepped forward, Iris couldn't help but smile and actually ran up to her and hugged her, Sigurrós giggled and hugged Iris back.

"Sigurrós! Meri told me you were recovering but I still couldn't believe it!" Iris then backed off from Sigurrós to get a better look at her; however, suddenly her head felt itchy, so she touched the top of her head to suddenly realize she has cat ears.

"Oh sorry." Sigurrós closed her eyes and raised her hand to Iris and suddenly the cat ears were gone.

"I still have a little time to go before I'm fully recovered but Dr. Alvik assured me once he's done, I won't ever hurt anyone again." Iris smiled; she didn't know if there was anyone more scared of Sigurrós powers than her. She was happy for Sigurrós to finally be getting some control over the dangerous powers that forced her into a coma for almost her entire childhood. Then suddenly everyone heard the bell again, that soft and lovely jingle clearly coming out from outside the Site despite the doors being locked shut.

"Is that Santa?!" Abby walked over to Iris and hugged her out of excitement, Iris smiled and gently patted her head. She soon felt guilt as Meri was right about her feeling better if she hung out with her friends. Soon Cidney inched forward of the group so that everyone could see her and said, "What should we do?" is ASL. Thanks to the AED she recently received modifications to make her augmentations easier to manage and her hands not so blade like anymore.

"Should we not go back to our rooms? It's already a bad idea to be here." Stella, who was clinging to Meri, agreed and nodded her head furiously to show it. Iris knew it as well, but her rebellious spirit was already on the rise, so she huffed and walked forward toward the door. Cidney quickly grabbed her and as soon as Iris turned around, she said "Iris! What if it's a trap from one of those bad groups or maybe a bad SCP! I heard there were lots of bad SCP's that look like Santa!" in ASL. Iris sighed, she couldn't deny the possibility that it was an evil anomaly or perhaps the Black Queen's Insurgency finally coming to finish her off. However, as they all heard the jingling of bells again Iris smiled and looked back at all of her friends with determination.

"I'm not afraid, you all should go back to sleep but me, I'm going."

"Iris!" Meri called out to her, but Iris didn't listen, instead she just kept going to the entrance of the lobby. Iris looked around and saw a button on the side of the walls saying emergency open. She ran over to it and pressed it. The hatch doors started opening and from it the cold air blew in but for whatever reason it wasn't too cold. Maybe it was because they were in a desert but still something about it felt odd. But still Iris left the Site and wandered outside without fear, though it was mainly because she was overtaken by wonder. She had never been outside before, so this was a new experience for her, even if it was a little mundane.

Meri was watching Iris with great concern and fear, hoping she would eventually come to her senses and come back. However, the opposite ended up happening as Abby went running after Iris and so did Cidney. Meri tried to call out for them, but Sigurrós grabbed her hand and pulled Meri so that she and Stella would follow the others.

"Come on now, it's not like there's anything out there strong enough to hurt us." Meri was shocked by Sigurrós recklessness but just sighed as she did kind of agree with her. Meri then started walking alongside the rest of them without resistance. Stella still wanted to go back but she continued to cling to Meri out of fear and because she couldn't see. Though as soon as they continued outward they heard someone shouting, "all aboard!"

"What the heck?!" Everyone turned to Iris and were shocked to see her staring at a train that was right in front of the Foundation Site. How this was possible none of them knew, nor did they know why it was here of all times and places. Iris continues closer to the train only to suddenly get confronted by the Conductor.

"All Abo- oh! Ah! There you are! Iris Thompson! What were you trying to pull? Fashionably late? On Christmas Eve of all nights?"

"No I was... wait. you. know me?"

"Uh... Of course! This is you correct?" The Conductor showed her a clipboard showing a list of all the passengers. Sure, enough when Iris looked at it her name was on the list, in fact all of their names were on the list. Soon Meri, Sigurrós, and the others caught up to Iris and were shocked to see their names as all.

"Ah! Good, you're all here! Now then girls, are you all ready to go?"

"Go? Go where?"

"Why, to the North Pole of course! This is the Polar Express!" Iris and the others looked at one another in confusion. They had heard and experienced weird stuff before, but this really took the cake on the weirdest, at least for now.

"Hm, now normally we don't make stops at the uh... SCP Foundation? Am I saying that correct?" Iris nodded so the conduction continued.

"Well, the higher management considered that after years of allowing them to feel nothing but fear for this time of year, that a change was needed. Most certainly with the younger generation. Besides, this seems like a crucial year for all of you, as I'm sure you're aware some of you don't even celebrate Christmas." The Conductor looked at all of them when he said this, but his gaze fell to Iris as he seemingly appreciated that last part. Iris lowered her gaze, she felt she was justified for not wanting to celebrate Christmas but right now the Conductor was making her feel bad.

"Come now girls, the time to go is now as we are-" The Conductor then pulled out his pocket watch to check the time.

"Oof! On a tight schedule! So, the time to decide is now!" Meri and Sigurrós looked at each other in confusion, not sure if this was a trap or not. Cidney was holding on to Iris now out of fear, having a very bad feeling about all of this. However, like before Iris took the initiative and stepped onto the train. Meri sighed but she knew protesting wouldn't get through to Iris right now, so she quickly followed. Cidney was shocked by this and even more shocked when Sigurrós escorted Stella and Abby onto the train as well. Cidney stood there panicking in fear not sure what to do, she then looked to the Conductor who was still there.

"The Polar Express is under no jurisdiction to force you to come. However, it would be such a shame for your friends to meet Santa without you." Cidney was still scared but she didn't want to be alone, so she nodded. The Conductor then extended a hand and helped her as she got up onto the train.

"Alright girls, right this way." The Conductor opened the door for them and inside was a comfortable looking passenger cart. Though that's not what surprised any of them it was the fact that inside the cart were lots of other kids. The kids were all singing and laughing around though some of them noticed the girls leaving the air awkward. Though it wasn't hard to see the reason why, Stella had black eyes, Cidney was part cyborg, and Mira had deer horns and legs. The only ones who looked normal were Sigurrós, Iris, and Abby, ironic considering they had the most elaborate anomalous properties. Thankfully the silence was broken when one of the younger boys looked over his seat and spoke.

"... are you guys' superheroes?" Iris chuckled at that but didn't answer and instead went to get a seat, she grabbed Meri's hand so that they would sit together. Abby noticed this and grabbed Stella's hand so that they could sit together and Sigurrós did the same for Cidney to help her calm down. The six of them made sure to keep sitting close to each other but also in the back as they didn't know anyone in the front. Suddenly a little girl walked up to where Meri was sitting and stared at her for a little while to which Meri looked at her in confusion.

"Uh... Yes?"

"... You're very pretty, are you an angel?" Iris snorted though she did have a similar opinion about Meri.

"Ah... ahem, no I'm not, why do you ask?"

"Hm... I don't know, my mommy says angels are pretty girls with bird wings, but you don't have bird wings, you have deer horns and legs. but deers and birds are both animals and you're pretty, so I thought that maybe you were from a different kind of angle."

"Oh, she is actually." Meri looked at Iris confused while the little girl's eyes sparkled.

"Really?!"

"Yup! You know how normal angles make lights with their halos and stuff. She can make flowers grow." Meri looked at Iris with disappointment but then looked at the little girl who was looking at her with eyes full of wonder. Meri didn't want to disappoint the little girl, so she sighed and held out her hands in front of her. Thanks to the anomalous device within her rosary she was able to control her powers to the point that she could even make flowers grow from anywhere without damaging anything. As such it was no effort for her to grow a single flower within the palms of her hands. The girl was speechless at the sight as her eyes widened with amazement. Meri actually smiled and decided to let the girl keep the flower, the girl did and put it on her hair. The girl giggled and thanked Meri, then ran back to her seat while showing the other kids.

"Ha, and you say my power is cool."

"Your power is wonderful Iris; you just don't give yourself enough credit." Iris blushed as she looked down in embarrassment. Suddenly Meri leaned forward but it was because someone was grabbing her horns.

"Ow! Hey!"

"Woah so they are real."

"Please let me go!"

"Or what, deer? You know men like me hunt you in the forest and eat you right?" Iris got on her seat and punched the boy in the shoulder making him let go of Meri.

"Meri, are you okay?"

"Ah, yeah, he was so rude."

"Hey!" The boy then got off the seat in front of them and faced them from the side.

"What's your problem! I was just trying to see if they were fake or not."

"You were hurting her!"

"So what? She's a freak, stop being such a drama queen!" The boy tried to walk away but Iris got out of her seat and stopped him.

"Hey, apologize to her!"

"Iris stop!"

"No, not until he apologizes."

"Go back to your seat, drama queen!"

"You don't get to tell me what to do!" Iris then pushed the boy which grabbed the attention of all the other kids. They started watching intently at the incoming fight, Meri facepalmed, Cidney covered her face in fear, Abby watched thinking Iris could win easily, and Stella had no idea what was going on. The boy blushed at the idea of being pushed by a girl of all things and felt like he had to act tough with everyone watching him, so he raised his fists despite shaking in fear.

"You know what, my dad always says to my mom that girls need to learn their place!" He threw a fist at Iris, but she easily dodged and punched him back. He held his nose in pain, but he just glared at Iris with even more anger.

"You! Girls aren't supposed to know how to fight!" He threw another punch only for Iris to dodge again and hit him in the stomach. Now the kids were cheering her on, which only angered the boy more, so he tried to throw another punch but suddenly he was frozen into place. Suddenly he was pushed back by an invisible force, Iris was just as shocked as everyone else by this, or at least she was until Sigurrós showed up.

"Ah, freaks! They're all freaks!" Soon all of the kids looked at Iris and Sigurrós, making Iris scared but Sigurrós disappointed. Sigurrós didn't want to hurt people but what mattered to her most was keeping her friends safe. However, her worries were dashed away when all of the kids started cheering both to their and the boy's shock.

"I knew they were superheroes!"

"Some of them are angels too!" As some of the kids continued to praise Iris and Sigurrós, the boy started crying and hid in one of the front chairs. Some of the older kids walked up to Sigurrós and Iris to compliment them directly.

"You guys are awesome!"

"Thanks by the way, that kid was Brandon and he's a massive jerk."

"I know right, why is he even on this train? He doesn't deserve to see Santa."

"How did you guys do that? You were fighting like a ninja but you! You made him move with your mind! Like a real superhero!"

"Was it magic? Can you teach us magic!"

"Ahem! Tickets! Tickets please!" The Conductor was back and quickly everyone got back into their seats. Iris got back into hers in a rush only to be confronted by a very disappointed looking Meri glaring at her with arms crossed.

"What?"

"Iris, I appreciate you sticking up for me, but sometimes it better to just let things go rather than starting violence." Iris pouted but looked down in embarrassment, though she really should have seen that coming. Meri was the most responsible of them all and was a well-known pacifist, so she hated violence especially unnecessary violence. However, they both looked up to the Conductor who was standing beside their seat.

"Tickets?"

"We don't have tickets."

"Come now, check your pockets." Iris and Meri looked at one another but did as the Conductor asked. Surprisingly Meri found a ticket in the pocket of her nightgown and Iris found one for her in her pajama pants. The Conductor took their tickets and started using his puncher to imprint letters on them and quickly gave them back. They both looked at their tickets with Meri's having the letters F and H and Iris's having the letters H and P. Both looked at one another in confusion and then to the conductor.

"Uh what does this mean?"

"It means you are now official passengers of the Polar Express."

"No, I mean-"

"Next! Who's next?" Iris just sighed in annoyance while Meri just shrugged.

"It must be some kind of processing code."

"I guess." Iris then looked out the window and saw that they were going through different towns and places. Iris was quickly wide-eyed at all of the stores and other buildings, but also the beautiful snow that fell from the sky. She had never seen so much of the outside world before; it was for that reason alone that she didn't regret getting onto this train.

Iris looked over to Abby who was describing everything she saw out the window to Stella who was listening with excitement. Cidney was also excited by having small glimpses of the outside world, making Sigurrós giggle at how cute she was being about all of it. Iris only felt more and more justified for getting onto the train, Meri noticed this and rolled her eyes. Though after she turned her gaze from Iris she smiled as she secretly was glad, they were here too.

Suddenly the train stopped leaving everyone confused. Iris looked out the window and saw they were in a place with lots of large buildings that looked worn down and had lots of graffiti on them. The Conductor got off the train and shouted "all aboard!" to the nearest building. After a short while a little boy came out of the building looking very tense and scared. He didn't have hair, had dark skin, and was wearing worn pajamas. He walked up to the Conductor, and it seemed they were having a similar conversation to what Iris had with him earlier. However, the boy backed up seeming not wanting to come so the Conductor simply said, "Suit yourself!" and got back on the train.

The train then slowly started back up, leaving the boy behind, though as it passed, he noticed Iris who was still looking out the window. Iris noticed him looking at her and waved at him to get on the train quickly. He tried to turn around and forget about it but in the end, he gave in and ran for the train. Iris quickly started cheering him on getting the attention of the other kids who were doing the same. The boy was shocked to see so many cheering him on, he never had that before so he was determined to run as fast as he could. However, he ended up falling on the road making him lose any chance of the train. Or at least that would have happened if he didn't start floating in the air.

Iris was shocked by the sight but then turned around to see Sigurrós raising her hand. She was helping the boy float in the air and fly right towards the nearest steps onto the train. Everyone was in awe at the sight and cheered as he was slowly getting closer to the train. Once he got on the steps, he was confused but got on and entered their cart where he was overwhelmed with kids walking up to him with excitement.

"That was awesome!"

"How did you do that?"

"Are you a superhero too?"

"Uh... no... Superhero?"

"Yeah, like them!" One of the younger kids pointed at Iris and Meri, both of which looked at the boy. The boy blushed at the sight of them but then looked at Sigurrós and Cidney and was shocked by her appearance. Then finally his gaze went to Stella and Abby, Stella was once again confused on what was going on, so Abby whispered into her ear what was happening. He was so confused on why Stella, Cidney, and Mira looked so different from everyone else but before he could ponder anymore Brandon pushed past the crowd and glared at the boy.

"Hey, get off the train."

"Leave him alone Brandon!" Brandon looked at the little girl speaking to him and pushed her away, scaring the boy.

"I said get off the train, your kind doesn't belong here." Before things could escalate Iris got in-between Brandon and the boy.

"Want me to beat you up again?" Brandon looked scared now, but he tried to keep up his cool appearance. Though that fell apart quickly when one of the older kids stood beside Iris and faced Brandon.

"You don't get to decide who stays on the train, you wanna mess with them, you'll have to go through me." Soon other kids started joining Iris's side in defending the boy.

"And me!"

"Me too!"

"Yeah, back off Brandon!" Soon all the other kids joined in on jeering Brandon which made him start tearing up. Iris noticed this and actually kinda felt bad.

"Fine! Then I guess your all just a bunch of filthy freaks!" Then her guilt faded as he ran back to his seat while insulting everyone. Everyone started cheering again and were complementing one another at how brave they were. Iris smiled at this but then looked back to the boy and extended her hand to him.

"Hi. I'm Iris, what's your name?"

"... Ethan... I don't wanna fight."

"Hm? Why would I fight you? You're not another jerk, are you?"

"No... I just... I don't wanna fight... "

"Hm, well don't worry Ethan, I won't hurt you."

"... Thank you." Ethan finally took her hand and shook on it; Iris smiled at him and led him back to her and Meri's seat. However, Iris quickly realized they would be cramped if he sat with them.

"Hm... oh! Why don't you sit in front of us!"

"I don't mind that." Meri smiled at Ethan, making him blush again. He couldn't say anything out of embarrassment, so he just nodded and sat in the seat in front of them. Since Ethan was sitting alone, he sat up and turned around to face Meri and Iris.

"Nice to meet you Ethan, I am Meri Clef."

"Hi... are... are you an alien?" Meri and Iris looked at one another in confusion but then quickly started laughing in joy.

"No. Not at all."

"Okay... sorry... " Ethan then slumped back to his seat in embarrassment to which Iris and Meri giggled joyfully.

"He's cute, isn't he?" Iris nodded but then felt a little bit of jealousy hearing Meri say that about someone else. Though she shook her head as she knew it was petty to feel jealousy especially towards Ethan who she just met. Meri noticed Iris blushing in embarrassment and smirked.

"Though, he's not the one who's in my heart."

"Really?" Iris jolted back to facing Meri but realized her and Meri's face were too close together and quickly backed off while blushing in embarrassment.

"Ahem, good to know." Meri giggled and blushed at Iris's cute embarrassment. Though quickly the Conductor entered their Cart again and went for the train's telephone.

"Ahem! Your attention please, are there any Polar Express Passengers in need of refreshments?" Soon all the other kids raised their hands; Stella, Abby, and Sigurrós raised their hands as well and finally so did Iris.

"I thought so." The Conductor then opened the door and suddenly a bunch of waiters that all looked exactly the same, came tap dancing into the cart. Some of them even shifted the seats around to make some kids face one another. Then along with the Conductor they started singing the Hot Chocolate song. The waiters and the chiefs were dancing and jumping around with great reflex and coordination. The waiters even displayed anomalous abilities, being able to make their clothes float in front of the kids as if they were on tables. With amazing precision, the chefs were able to spray the hot chocolate into large cups for the kids to enjoy.

Iris watched them dance while preparing the rest of the hot chocolate with a smile on her face. Never had she seen adults try so hard to entertain children and make them smile, she wished the Foundation was at least half as great as these guys. Once they were done serving the hot chocolate they took the plates, the cloth, and danced away while setting the seats back in place as if they never moved to begin with. Once they were done Iris and Meri looked at one another and saw that they had chocolate mustaches from drinking the hot chocolate. They both giggled joyfully at the silly sight of one another but also hiccupped because of how good the chocolate tasted.

"Ahhh... Still think it was a bad idea to get on the train?"

"No, but I still think it was reckless of you to just get on without knowing how dangerous it could be." Meri smiled at Iris with a hit of mature superiority in her eyes, Iris pouted at her and rolled her eyes afterwards. Meri then giggled though she did actually mean what she said, but she knew that Iris knew that, so she said nothing else.

Cidney noticed Iris and Meri together and smiled, especially since Iris was doing better, she heard what happened earlier today after all. Cidney then heard slurping behind her and saw Sigurrós still drinking hot chocolate. Sigurrós was drinking from it and then using her power to refill the bowl with new hot chocolate allowing her to drink even more. However, upon Sigurrós trying to drink the hot chocolate a fourth time Cidney placed her hand on the bowl to stop her. Sigurrós turned to Cidney who glared at her with disappointment and said in ASL "too much chocolate is bad for you!" Sigurrós smiled at her and with a wave of her hand the bowl disappeared.

"Hey! Aren't you going to have your chocolate." Sigurrós and Cidney as well as the other girls noticed a fat kid talking to Ethan who was still holding a cup of hot chocolate.

"... I... I didn't pay for it..."

"Hm? I don't think that matters. They served it to us, and we all drank some. Nothing happened so why worry?"

"My dad... he says... nothing in this world is free."

"hm... well if you're not going to take it then can I have it?" Ethan looked at the kid but handed him the bowl. The kid thanked him and went back to his seat to drink in peace. Meri went over her seat and looked down on Ethan who still seemed to be afraid of something. She reached down to gently touch his shoulder.

"Ethan?" Ethan jolted up in fear, which also spooked Meri as well.

"Sorry! Sorry... I just wanted to know if you were, okay?"

"... I'm okay... I just... do you think we're really going to the north pole... to meet Santa?"

"... I'm not really sure about that last part, but... I think we'll be okay as long as we stick together."

"You really think we'll be, okay?"

"Of course, Ethan!" Iris stood up and leaned on Ethan's seat right beside Meri.

"We may not look it but we're all really strong, me, Meri, Sigurrós, Abby, Cidney, and Stella. We all may not be strong, but we can do cool things especially when we're together. So don't worry, if something goes wrong, we'll protect you!"

"... but who will protect you?" Iris stopped smiling after she heard Ethan say that she then slumped back into her chair. That was true, she was destined to become another soldier in MTF Alpha-9 of the Foundation. A protector of those that don't see her as fully human, sure some people are nice to her, but they are a minority in the Foundation. No one was going to protect her, but she was going to be expected to protect everyone, even after... No, she didn't want to think about that right now. Though what she couldn't deny was that there was seemingly no hope for her future.

"Iris? What's wrong?" Iris then looked to Meri with sad and gloomy eyes.

"We're going to have to go back to the Foundation once this is over, right?"

"... I would assume yes." Iris then curled up and faced the window with clear depression on her face.

"Then I hope this train ride never stops." Meri was now filled with sadness knowing that Iris was depressed again. So, Meri stopped talking as well and just sat while remaining silent. Ethan looked over his seat and saw how drained of hope both Meri and Iris were. He then looked over to Cidney who noticed this as well, when she saw Ethan she said, "It's not your fault, they've both been through a lot". Ethan then nodded and said in ASL "I think it's something I said though." Cidney looked down for a moment but then said, "it's not your fault, you just met, mistakes are bound to happen". Ethan looked at Cidney for a moment and then said, "Mistakes get people hurt." before turning back to the widow of his seat.

Cidney wasn't sure what Ethan meant by that but as he turned away there was nothing left for her to say anyways so she just left it at that. However, Ethan then noticed that something was in his pocket that wasn't supposed to be there. He pulled it out to see an expensive looking ticket, he was so shocked that he didn't even bother reading it was a polar express ticket. He looked around in fear thinking someone was going to accuse him of stealing it. So he quickly threw it out the window, he then sighed in relief as now there was no evidence of him stealing anything.

"Ahem, your ticket sir?" The Conductor then showed up to Ethan's seat scaring Ethan to the point that he didn't even hear him.

"Sir? Your ticket please?"

"I... I don't have a ticket..."

"Come now try your pockets."

"There's nothing in my pockets."

"Come now... TRY." Ethan then reached into his pockets and pulled out the ends showing the Conductor that they were empty.

"Hm? Now that can't be right, there should be a ticket here somewhere." Suddenly Ethan's ticket flew out of one of the vents and flew close to Brandon. Brandon saw the ticket and took it, Ethan saw this but also saw Brandon mouth to him "my ticket!" Ethan assumed he was telling the truth and nodded, then he faced the Conductor again.

"Yes Sir, I didn't pay for a ticket, so I don't have one. I swear." The Conductor then raised his eyebrow at Ethan.

"Hm, very well. In that case, young man, you will just have to come with me."

"Hey no he doesn't!" One of the other kids stood up and faced the Conductor.

"His ticket was stolen from him by Brandon!"

"It's true! I saw it as well!" The Conductor looked at Brandon who tried to hide in his seat, he then turned back to Ethan.

"Is that true? Did that young man steal your ticket."

"... No! I swear I don't have a ticket!" The Conductor seemed disappointed and so did the other kids as they were confused as to why Ethan was defending Brandon of all people.

"Very well then, please come with me." Ethan nodded and followed the Conductor to the Cart behind them. Iris noticed him and grabbed Ethan's hand to stop him.

"Ethan?! What are you doing? Why are you letting Brandon steal your ticket."

"He didn't steal it, he told me it was his."

"He's lying! Why are you letting him take advantage of you?"

"... I'm not really good for anything else." Iris was shocked to hear this as it shot right through her heart.

"Thank you, Iris... for being nice to me but... I'm really no good... And I don't deserve anything..." Ethan then gently pulled Iris's hand off of him and followed the Conductor as the two left the Cart. Iris looked at her hand as tears fell from her eyes, what Ethan said filled her with sadness as it's how she felt for most of her time within the Foundation. She hated being miserable and she hated how Daniel, Dr. Zeek, Meri and Sigurrós were the only ones who actually helped her. But things were worse for Ethan, he didn't have anyone and thought he didn't even deserve the simplest things in life. She couldn't stand for it, so she stood up and wiped her tears away as she walked over to Brandon. Out of fear he quickly surrendered the ticket, so she took it and walked over to the cart door where the Conductor and Ethan disappeared.

"Iris?! What are you doing?" Sigurrós, Meri, Cidney, Stella and Abby

"I'm going to help Ethan!"

"Why? Iris he's a normie, you hate normies!"

"I don't... ugh... look I hate my life in the Foundation okay, I know complaining isn't going to make things better but that doesn't deny the fact that I hate it! I've suffered a lot because of the Foundation... possibly more than you all can understand." Iris looked to the ground seemingly in despair but then Cidney placed her hand on Iris's shoulder. Iris looked up to see Cidney who said in ASL "You're not the only one who remembers the Reset." Iris was shocked to learn about this, she thought she was the only one, but not apparently Cidney remembered too. Sigurrós then nodded her head and so did Meri, finally so did Abby as tears fell from her eyes. Iris started crying and all the girls hugged each other in comfort.

"That's why we wanted you to join us in the sleepover."

"It's also why we followed you onto the train, we don't want to be separated ever again!"

"We want to stick together, for better, for worse, and within the Foundation!" Iris smiled as she hugged the girls tighter than before then they all let go of each other and Iris wiped her tears away.

"Thank you, guys, I'm sorry I haven't always been a good friend."

"That's okay Iris, just know we're all here for you. So, if you wanna save Ethan then let us help you!"

"We wanna help too!" Some of the other kids from the cart showed up and faced the girls.

"We don't know you guys well but your awesome heroes! So please let us help!"

"Yeah, let us help you!"

"We can help!" As the kids continued to show their Sigurrós and Meri smiled at the sight while Cidney was shocked and so was Iris. She actually shed a tear again, Sigurrós wasn't wrong about saying Iris hated normies or non-anomalous people. She couldn't help it as she experienced anything but hatred from them, but these kids right now were showing here there were people who didn't show hate but kindness, even to strangers like her. However, Sigurrós stepped forward to address everyone.

"If you guys really want to help them, please make sure to watch over Brandon so that he doesn't follow us or do something stupid again." Some of the older kids glared at Brandon who hid in his seat again.

"Besides that, please watch over Abby and Stella." Abby and Stella looked at Sigurrós in shock.

"What?! But we wanna help!"

"Come on you guys, you won't be able to help much where we're going." Abby pouted in annoyance, but Stella held her still and nodded to show she understood. Sigurrós then faced Cidney and Meri.

"Maybe you guys should stay as well." Cidney was surprised by this but before she could nod her head, Meri stepped forward.

"If Iris is going to them, I'm going too." Iris blushed upon hearing this but quickly shook her head and tried to hide her lingering embarrassment with a smile of determination. Cidney admired Meri's bravery despite her anomalous abilities not being able to help in their situation. As such Cidney decided to step forward as well meaning there were four of them now.

"Is that everyone? Alright then! Let's go!"

.

Part 2

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SCP: HMF Tales Hub

[youcantproveiexist]

Since the new Matilda movie came out I thought it was time to post this fan fiction I wrote a long time ago about @danielhowell and Phil Lester. It’s a parade story but I think it’s pretty decent! Enjoy!

Phil Lester had been performing on the west end for 9 years now. Before deciding he wanted be on the stage, Phil had been a YouTuber but after a year of working hard he only had 100 followers and he decided it was time his work was appreciated. He quit youtube and began training in the musical arts and less than a year later he got his first role. He fell in love with the arts and decided he was never going back to YouTube. Phil thought he was not going to be missed but among those few subscribers there was one who was so dedicated, that he followed Phil into the theatre business and vowed he would make Phil return to his past life no matter the cost. This is the story of the Phandom of the Opera.

Chapter 1

In the year 2016, the play Matilda was very popular on the West End. Emily-May Stephenson was in the middle of rehearsal of her very first professional show Matilda. For someone so young, she was very good, which is why she was Matilda. She was rehearsing her favorite song, Silent, when her singing was suddenly interrupted by the director, Matthew Warchus.

“Gather round thespians, I have some very important news!” Everybody eagerly rushed on stage, “It is with great sorrow that I have to inform you all of my official retirement.” There was a gasp of horror at this announcement. They no longer felt eager. However, their attention was captured by a man dressed in a smart suit wheeling a cart with a computer out on stage.

“This is your new director Mr. Tumblr de Chagny.” The man stepped forward, and cleared his throat. The actors stood, anxiously awaiting a speech from their prolific new director. However, their curiosity was heightened as the man turned, and pressed a small button on the computer, and promptly walked off stage. The computer began to make a soft whirring noise as the actors looked back at the computer quizzically. A small bell sounded, and the pixels lit up. “Hello” the computer said in an automated voice.

“He plans to direct this musical so that everything will run like a machine...Literally like a machine.” Mr. Warchus bowed his head and stepped back, giving all the attention to the new director.

The stage turned into a riot. Some wept silently at the loss of their beloved director. Some shouted demanding a better explanation. Others simply walked off stage in frustration. One thing was for sure, everyone was upset by Mr. Tumblr de Chagny. Everyone except Phil Lester. He was too busy thinking to complain. This computer was the same computer that he used to edit on so long ago. He knew it was his computer because there was a distinctive cat sticker on the back. The rest of the back was covered in all different stickers but he knew this cat sticker was his.

Phil was lost in the thought of his university years and all the videos he filmed. A pang of regret hit him. He almost felt bad for leaving that lifestyle behind him. With the pang of guilt came a pang of cringe. Some of those videos were inspiring while others were just plain bad. He could never go back to filming YouTube videos, especially since his own computer was now his new director.

Mr. Warchus interrupted the chaos by announcing that Mr. Tumblr de Chagny would like all the singing voices in his data before the director left. “Emily-May you first.” Obediently she continued her rehearsal of Silent. Her voice filled the room, as she looked smugly around at the actors, as if to say ‘ I am better than you ever will be!’ Suddenly as if struck by lightning her singing stopped, her eyes glazed over, and she fell face down on the floor. She was barely moving. When Mr. Warchus rushed to check for her, she was mumbling strange things like “What is my purpose? Is this reality or will I wake up in a new world? In all of the universes why was I put here?” There was no hope in snapping her out of it. The actor next to Phil yelled out almost in pain.

“It was the Phandom! The Phandom of the Opera. He roams backstage and causes tiny disasters but never has he caused a disaster such as this.”

“I don’t think she will recover in time for the next performance.” The director exclaimed in rushed panic.

“Is there an understudy for her?” Tumblr asked in his automated voice.

“Of-course there’s not! Emily-May has never missed a single rehearsal and is vaccinated for all types of illnesses!” The director was almost in tears, “We will have to cancel tonight's performance!” Arguments began again in the crowd of actors “ We already sold out!” “The people would never forgive us if we cancelled tonight’s performance!” “This is the most people we have ever had coming to our show!”

The director stopped the shouting by saying, “We simply cannot perform Matilda without Matilda! Is there anyone else who could possibly play Matilda?” This was a rhetorical question because the rest of the cast were adults but a mysterious voice from the crowd answered.

“Phil can sing!” Everyone looked around confused; it appeared as though no one had said it. Tumblr de Chagny immediately recognized the name. Phil nervously walked to center stage. He could hear his peer’s criticism “Can he even sing? You can't have a man replace a little girl!! I bet he has a cordless power drill.”

Phil channeled all these harsh thoughts as he began to sing. The crowd was taken aback at the smooth flow of his vibrato. The longer he sang, the better he felt, his voice filled the empty house like an angel's chorus. It was so great that it even seemed the computer was shedding real tears. Of-course Phil was immediately cast as Matilda and with lots of makeup and hair extensions the 6 foot 3 man-child had become an actual child. That night’s performance was the most successful performance the west end had ever seen. Everything was going Phil’s way and for the moment everything was perfect.

Chapter 2

Phil was enjoying his night very much. People were complimenting him and practically singing their praises of his beautiful voice. The person who was most surprised was actually not a person at all, but a computer. The Tumblr de Chagny was exceptionally pleased with Phil’s singing voice and how much it improved. He remembered when Phil had done a cover of Toxic and didn’t even use his real voice. Phil had obviously taken voice lessons but the question was who was teaching him. Tumblr was intent on finding out so he followed Phil up to his dressing room. Tumblr waited outside the door for a good hour but heard nothing. He heard nothing because the invention of earbuds was designed just so creepers couldn’t hear what you were listening to. Phil was listening to his teacher, who was in fact a tutorial channel on YouTube called THe_Angle_oftutorials. It was supposed to be Angel of Tutorials but that name was taken so angle had to do. Phil had no idea who ran the channel; the videos were simply black screens with a mysterious voice that instructed Phil how to sing properly.

Tumblr de Chagny soon grew bored of listening to nothing and had his owner wheel him away in the cart. But just after Tumblr left a voice filled Phil’s room “ How dare this incompetent peasant take all your glory! It was you who made tonight's show so special and yet his computed mind believes that it was his slow hard-drive that made everything run smoothly!” Phil recognized the voice immediately. It was his angle from the tutorials. He looked around the room but no one was there. The voice began to speak again,

“You were the star of tonight and you made your angle very proud. I am not here in your room but if you look inside yourself I am there. I control your very being. I am the Phandom of the Opera!” Phil looked into his mirror and saw The Phandom. He was a bit taller than Phil and was very lanky. A black mask covered half of his face. (It would have been a white mask but the black mask fit the Phandom’s aesthetic better.) Mist filled the room as Phil took the stranger's hand from the mirror and was pulled into a long hallway.

Phil thought the hallway might lead into a sensible cave decorated in velvet and skulls and candles but it instead Phil found himself in a modern apartment. The Phandom lead Phil into a room that was decorated quite brightly with a green bed spread and many other silly decorations.

“My room is across the hall and the kitchen is down that way. Do not try to leave this apartment. It is not an apartment at all. It is merely a model of an apartment inside the basement of the theatre.” The phandom’s voice was higher now than it was in the videos.

Phil stayed in his room for a while taking in everything. Phil hadn’t had a real bedroom in 10 years. He had only had hotel rooms and dressing rooms. He liked having his own bedroom for a change. Everything reflected his personality from the posters to the lion and even the fake hamster reflected his inner sunshine. It was like Phil had decorated it himself. How could the Phandom know all of this about him? It was a strange feeling that someone he didn’t know, knew him like this. He began to grow curious and decided some questions needed to be answered. He ventured into the Phandom’s room.

The bed spread was pretty similar to Phil’s except it was black. The room’s only source of light was a lamp and some fairy lights, so the room was pretty dark. The Phandom was sitting at his desk watching a video over and over again. On one wall there was a massive collage like one you would see on a crime show. Phrases like Phil is not on Fire, 7 seconds, Obama Llama, Phil Trash #1, and Halloween Baking were all pinned on the wall with question marks around them. The Phandom became aware of Phil and approached him.

“That’s the wall of all the things we could have done together. It's what could have been.” His voice was so melancholy, Phil almost felt sorry for him.

“What could have been? What happened?” Phil could barely speak; his mind was so full of questions.

“You quit YouTube. I was your biggest fan and all I wanted was to be your friend. We could have collabed and lived together. I needed you to become who I could have been.” The Phandom pointed at his computer and the video he was watching began playing at full volume. It started off with a younger Phandom his head peaked a little on screen and after a painful jump cut “ Hi, so my name is Dan” His hands looked like they wanted to display a name but Dan’s editing skills forbade them to hold it.

“ I could have never posted this video without a friend so it has stayed on my computer as a constant reminder of what could have been.” Dan’s rage was very obvious, “ You could have helped me become great! Instead you left me alone and depressed with no one to be my friend and no videos of my own!” At that point Dan realized the fear he was causing Phil and changed his tone “ But what could have been can still be done. You can quit this silly lifestyle and we can live together. Not just in this dungeon but in a real apartment. I… We can be happy.” Happy. The word was so strange. Was Phil Happy? Could Dan make Phil happy? All these questions swam in Phil’s head and suddenly Dan’s room melted into darkness.

Chapter 3

Phil awoke in his room. Well it wasn’t his room, It was his room in Dan’s apartment. Everything felt familiar to him even though he was in a completely strange place. Everything felt normal except for Dan lurking in the corner.

“I was waiting for you to wake up.” Dan led Phil into the living room. The two ate breakfast together and watched some anime. Phil had never been more confused. Why did this feel so normal? There was a part of Phil that wanted to stay here forever; he wanted to live like this. Waking up with Dan and watching anime together. Filming videos and stealing his cereal. Phil could imagine himself living happily like this with Dan. He might even come to love Dan.

This was not real though. This was a fake life. It seemed normal but there was no sunshine and no windows. It dawned on Phil that he was living underneath his real life. Phil might come to love Dan but he loved theatre more. He couldn’t let Tumblr de Chagny down no matter what Dan promised him. What Dan promised was not real. Theatre was real.

“Dan?” Phil asked nervously

“Yes, I know what you’re going to say and yes you can go back. I’m proud of you and I got you that role for a reason.” Dan cut Phil’s celebrations short “But you have to promise to think of me and when the end of Matilda comes I want you to think about the life we could have and know if you don’t take my offer your role will be cursed. You will never be able to get a role and I will do everything in my power to make sure you are unhappy doing the thing you love.”

As Dan took Phil along the path back to the theatre, Phil’s entire life was crashing down. The only thing that made Phil happy was being taken from him in exchange for this stanger’s happiness. The walk was pretty long and Dan explained all their future plans.

“...of course we’re going to have to include a llama somehow. Then there will be this huge microwave with a ton of stickers because you put your laptop in the microwave and broke the internet. Then we realise a book about how we never go outside and the dangerous things we did while we were in the land of freedom.” It was like Dan was speaking a different language. He had obviously spent way too much time alone in his dungeon. Dan was insane and was forcing Phil down his insane whirlpool whether Phil liked it or not.

“We’ll be happy Phil,” Dan concluded. There that word was again. Happy. It didn’t seem real. Phil wondered if Tumblr de Chagny felt happy ever. Of course the computer didn’t because computers can’t feel but Phil wasn’t in the best state of mind.

They finally arrived at the theatre and Dan said his farewells but Phil couldn’t pay attention; he was too deep in thought. He didn’t even notice when Dan left. He was thinking about the events of the past day. Phil thought it might not be that bad with Dan and they could get a real apartment and be best friends. Maybe Phil could get back into YouTube. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a faint tap on the door. It was Tumblr de Chagny. He informed Phil that he received a letter from the Phandom and knew was Phil was safe. Tumblr continued talking about Phil’s future in theatre after Matilda was over. Phil felt very guilty he knew he couldn’t tell Tumblr the truth about his or rather Dan’s plan.

“Tumblr, I’m quite tired would you mind if I rested a bit before the next show?”

Phil did not rest, he stayed awake pondering his misfortunes. He had a choice to make: he could leave the theatre and be “happy” with Dan or he could stay with Tumblr. If he stayed with Tumblr he still had to leave theatre but he loved Tumblr. Did he really love Tumblr de Chagny though? He had known Tumblr longer but his new friendship with Dan seemed to be clouding his opinions. He finally fell asleep on the happy thought of being with Dan in that cozy apartment.

Chapter 4

Phil had made up his mind. He would continue performing in the Matilda shows. He was absolutely sure of that. But he was not sure what he would do after Matilda closed. He had a lot of options. He could stay in theatre but never land a job because Dan would never let him be in a show or he could join Tumblr de Chagny and quit theatre and live a happy life with his computer or he could join Dan and live an almost happy life in an apartment somewhere in London. His future was unclear but at least he knew what he was doing in the present.

Eventually Emily-May recovered from her existential crisis, and Phil was once again pushed to the ensemble but he found that he didn’t mind that much. Being a main character was hard and Phil realized that being a main character had only brought him trouble. His minor role brought him less attention from Tumblr de Chagny and Dan hadn’t contacted him for a while. Phil didn’t really need voice lessons anymore and Dan wasn’t posting anymore videos so Phil had no use for Youtube.

But one day there was a note taped to Phil’s dressing room mirror. It had a number on it and as the days went by that number got less and less. Phil realized that it was counting down the days left of Matilda. The number seemed like a death count down to Phil. Yes he had once enjoyed the thought of staying with Dan for the rest of his life but the more theatre he did the more he realized maybe leaving wasn’t the best. His real love was for theatre. Not for Dan and not for Tumblr de Chagny. Phil had made his decision for the future he was going to stay in theatre. It didn’t matter what he had to do. He was going to stay and nothing could stop him.

The strange notes on the mirror counted down menacingly. Phil only had 10 days to figure out his escape plan. He was thinking of just leaving the theatre but Dan kept a close watch on Phil and Phil could tell. He could pull the fire alarm and leave unnoticed. Dan couldn’t keep Phil inside if Phil just happened to want to go outside for some groceries. There were so many ways out and all Phil had to do was leave… yet something stopped him everytime he got close. It wasn’t dan or Tumblr de Chagny it was himself. Could Phil be happy all by himself? The world seemed so lonely without two people fighting over Phil’s happiness.

Phil finally came to the conclusion that he had a family and there was at least one person at home to fuss about his happiness. He also missed home a lot. The problem wasn’t who was going to be there for him outside of the theatre but how could he continue theatre if the Phandom would stop the progress of his career. The answer of course was America. Phil could live in New York and the Phandom would never know he was continuing theatre. He decided to leave after that night's performance. Phil thought he owed it to Dan to do one more performance since it was Dan that got him that big role as Matilda. Phil began to pack as secretly as possible but he had no idea that Dan was lurking behind his mirror watching Phil.

Chapter 5

That night’s performance was one of the best the show had ever had. Phil sang his heart out knowing that Dan was listening. Tumblr de Chagny was in his usual spot in the theatre listening and watching Phil. Tumblr loved Phil. They both had grown up together. Phil updated him and Tumblr helped Phil edit his videos no matter how cringe worthy they were. Phil was giving his best performance that night and Tumblr knew that it was not for him. There was somebody else in Phil’s life and Tumblr knew it. But he didn’t let that bother him, Tumblr was content listening to Phil sing.

When the end of the performance came and all the actors came on stage, there was something missing a gap in the lines of actors. It was Phil he was nowhere to be found. The actors bowed as usual. None of them seemed bothered by the disappearance of Phil. Actually only one person was bothered by the missing actor. Tumblr de chagny was in complete panic. His amazing Phil was not there and he wasn’t backstage or in his dressing room. Phil Lester had dropped off the face of the planet.

Phil was in fact not off the planet but deep in it. He remembered finishing the show and then falling and waking up in his apartment bedroom. Dan was not there by his bed like the last time he had woken up here. Phil knew the way out of the apartment and he planned on sneaking out but when he got to the door it was locked and no matter how hard he tried he could not get it to open. He snuck back into his bedroom and tried to think of a way out. He could be here forever since going to buy a house in London was no longer an option for the phandom. Houses are too easy to escape especially with bystanders all over.

Phil finally decided to go confront Dan. If Dan was a reasonable human being he’d understand why Phil wanted to leave so bad. But when Phil got to Dan’s room he was met with anger.

“How could you? I trusted you and all you did was try to leave me alone. What was I supposed to do with you gone? Live down here forever and regret our future?” Dan was close to tears, “All I wanted was to be happy! Is that to much to ask for? “

Phil had enough of this, “Yes that’s too much to ask. Don’t you ever think about other people. You were willing to take away my happiness for yours and as soon as I tried to have a happy future you were willing to kidnap me.” Now Phil was the one with the anger “How could I do this to you? No! How could you do this to me? I can’t believe I once considered being your friend.”

Both Dan and Phil were softly crying. Tears rolled down their cheeks. Dan opened his mouth to speak but miraculously Tumblr de Chagny walked into the room. You must remember Tumblr was a computer so how he got down to the basement and through the door is amazing. Also the fact that he was walking was a miracle in of itself. Dan’s sorrow was overcome with renewed anger.

“So this is your so called happiness, Phil. A lowly computer. There are hundreds of computers like this one. There is only one of me. This computer cannot give you happiness; it only distracts you from the pain. How many years have I tried to be happy with a computer.” He picked up the computer and ,with Phil following, ran it into the kitchen.

“You may not remember my mentioning of a tour. The one where you put a computer in a microwave and broke the internet.” Dan slammed Tumblr into the microwave,“Let’s see what happens if you really put a computer in a microwave.” Phil’s screams were drowned out by an awful sound. The microwave exploded into flames. Dan’s body was thrown back against the wall. Everything was on fire.

Phil rushed over to Dan’s lifeless body. He may have tried to destroy everything Phil loved but Dan was still a human being. Dan was still alive but barely. He had a nasty gash on his forehead. He regained consciousness and realized Phil was trying to help him.

“Phil? Why are you still here? I destroyed everything you love so why should you be helping me”

“I believe every life is important even if that person is a twat.” Phil replied, “I also want to find out why. Why me? Why am I so important to you?”

“Phil when I saw you on YouTube I saw someone who had potential. Not only for my future but for your own. There was so much light within you and even watching your videos made my life a little bit brighter. But your videos stopped and the little light you gave me left. You gave light to so many other people and could have given it to so many others. I guess I thought it was my job to bring back the light that so many people lost the day you quit.” Dan smiled weakly with these words. Everything was burning and Phil could tell the house was about to come down.

Dan reached out and touched Phil gently. This small act allowed Phil to understand why Dan wanted so badly for Phil to be his friend. He saw Dan growing up with Phil by his side. He saw all the wonderful things they could have done together. He saw them laughing together and enjoying each other's company even if their joy was shared with millions of other people. Phil saw himself and Dan traveling the world and writing books together. He saw himself forcing Dan to do silly and things and he saw himself eating Dan’s cereal. He saw a happy life that he could have had. A life that now he could not get. A tear slipped down Phil’s cheek. This is what Dan had to feel every day, extreme sorrow that he could not get what he so desperately wanted.

“Phil?” Dan whispered, “Don’t allow your light to be hidden because I tried to force it out of you. You’ll always be my sunshine.” With these words Dan was gone. The fire seemed to be burning more than the walls. Phil felt empty as if his entire world had been reduced to ash. But he could not forget Dan’s words. He could not let his light be squenched.

[starliitstories]

nightshaderps​:

“Thank you”, she smiled at him sweetly while stepping out of the door that he was holding for her. When the other said he didn’t trust people who enjoyed that ‘circus show’, Pearline couldn’t help but chuckle. It was amusing thing to say. Strict, but she understood when he was coming from. “It wouldn’t tell anything good about their judgment”, she answered, half-jokingly. “Yes, I’m alone. But I’m kind of happy I spared someone from experiencing the same level of frustration that I went through”, Pearl said and shook her heard from disbelief. “Maybe next time I should wait and read reviews first”, she said with a small nod and her voice grew slightly quieter. Short woman was little unsure how to go from here. She always loved to have company and most Spiralians had, but she couldn’t expect everyone to enjoy socializing with strangers. Especially since lately Spiral had received its own share of newcomers. Not to mention, she was feeling more shy around strangers compared to friends.

A red-haired man huffed and nodded.  “Reviews do sound wise. But it depends on who are doing those reviews. It’s almost impossible to find good, unbiased opinions about movies. I know it’s natural to say your honest opinion but it’s not like everyone would agree with you. In the end, reviews can’t be trusted too much.” Diluc might had sound a bit harsh but he preferred being honest in most situations. Reddish eyes glanced at this short woman before closing for few seconds. He might end up regretting this... But it was probably worth of a shot. At least this would take Jean off his back. She had been a quite annoying for few past days, appearing behind his door and judging his ways of preferring solitude over company. “Most times, when I’m being highly betrayed by art, I tend to continue my night and turn it more pleasant. What do you say about taking a little stroll? It’s nice outside and it could help us to forget that movie.”

[undertale-data]

[Image Description: an Undertale chat box with the name "PAPYRUS", in all caps and Papyrus font, in its center. On its left is a talksprite of Papyrus sweating anxiously, and on its right is a talksprite of Papyrus wearing sunglasses. End I.D.]

The Great Papyrus is the most popular Undertale character among the fans surveyed here. 19.6% of responders chose him as their favorite. That’s a total of 519 fans! (Wowie!!)

Not all Papyrus fans are unified on his characterization, however. The most obvious divide was between fans who call him a “cinnamon roll” or “precious baby,” and those who find these takes infantilizing. A lot of people like the friendliness and optimism of this character, while others recognize this but highlight his maturity too. Fans who worry about his infantilization seem most concerned with how he can be portrayed as naive or dumb by the fandom. A portion of fans specifically mentioned this naivety as a point in his favor, though the marginally more popular take seems to be that he is not naive, regardless of how he first appears. This fandom divide seems to relate to Papyrus’s autistic or ADHD coding. Many fans relate to him as ADHD and autistic themselves.

Fans also related to him in his desire for friends. Many responders think of him as a friend and a comfort character, so at least in one way his wish has been fulfilled.

The phone calls were a major reason that fans said they felt connected to Papyrus. Thanks to these calls, he has the most dialogue of any character in the game. His humor and dialogue were often highlighted as favorite qualities.

While fans may disagree on some aspects of Papyrus’s personality, it is clear that his fans all value his optimism and kindness. His fans do not see his kindness as weakness. Many talked about the complexity of his character and the strength it took for him to show mercy to the player character, even when the player doesn’t show it in return. He believes in himself, and he believes in you! This kindness and trust has inspired his fans to be kinder themselves.

Papyrus fans were also drawn to his mysteriousness. Several responses pointed out that he is a more mysterious character than Sans, who is also often loved for his mystery. As shown in the phone calls, Papyrus will put on fronts depending on who he is around, making it even more difficult for fans to uncover his secrets. Some people in other sections of the survey found this frustrating, but Papyrus fans tend to see it as another point in his favor.

Among the greatest proportion of responses were from fans who couldn’t choose a favorite trait, or who just love everything about Papyrus. While these responses may be less lengthy, they are still as full of love as the essay-length answers. These responses tended to say phrases like “cool dude” or “Papyrus my beloved” or “THE GREAT PAPYRUS.”

(You were overcome by writing about such a handsome skeleton. He understands.)

Highlights: (under the cut)

Honestly Papyrus just feels like joy. Funny, incredibly kind, with a few mysteries/weird quirks about him that are fun to ponder over. I especially love how he often acts proud and self aggrandizing without putting others down, and in fact sometimes uses that to lift his friends up alongside him. You don't see this take on proud characters often.

Papyrus is strong. Strong in body, but also morally strong. He knows what is right, what it means to be merciful and kind, even in the face of danger or death. Some think him naive. And yet, even facing death and seeing the dust of those he knew, he did not falter or turn from his ideals of mercy and change for the better.

BECAUSE HE IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS

His optimism and his overall personality is endearing! You're always having fun with him :D

He's meeting all of my standards.

Papyrus is very under appreciated, and overlooked, and it's very frustrating to me—he's a complex character but people treat him like he's a baby!!! I like him because he's kind of goofy with how he talks and he's just very charming and kind.

He's weirder than Sans, and it wasn't acknowledged for years because he acts oblivious and dumb, even when he's clearly not. Quite frankly, I find it iconic. Also, his entire personality helps a lot.

I'm ND, trans, and projecting!

OK SO he's just a friendly guy!! A dude who likes cooking for his friends!! We love a hype man!! Also smart as hell and I feel like fanon majorly overlooks this. Making good, fun puzzles is HARD and setting up a flamethrower to go off wirelessly is complicated. Like even if that bridge puzzle didn't go off the components were complicated. Love that cool dude!!!!

I heavily relate to Papyrus as a character and consider him my favorite fictional character of all time. He is a very well-written and thought out character with several quirks and layers in his personality. It is headcanoned by some (myself included) that Papyrus may possibly be on the Autism Spectrum due to his nature, his interactions with others, and overall how he displays himself to the world we see.

I could talk about Papyrus forever, and you have made a grave mistake in allowing me to do so. He is a charming, strong spirited, well intentioned, complex character that is often wildly misinterpreted, and I think originally this is why I was drawn to him. He is presented as one thing and in fact acts as one thing (though not the same way as presented by fandom), and in reality when you look closer than you are meant to he is not, in fact, any of these things. It was intriguing to me. Secondly, and rather contradictorily, another thing that drew me to him is that he is very true to himself, when it comes to idiosyncrasies and moral values. It's true that he does not offer much in the way of personal backstory and feelings, but he offers very much indeed in the way of personality. What a guy! He wears silly crop tops and bright colors, he speaks in a manner specific to him that sometimes doesn't make sense, he cares about something or someone and goes whole hog with it -- he's passionate, damn it! I love him and his weirdo, goofy self with all my heart. He cares about other people to a fault, too. He would sacrifice everything to help someone, and his belief in the potential of both others and himself is indomitable. When faced with the responsibility of a kingdom, his friends gone, his brother lying to him, and himself all alone without a reliable support system, he recognized what he was facing and still bucked up and became determined to get through it. When faced with a murderous, over powerful enemy, someone who had killed many of his friends and fellow monsters, someone who had repeatedly been rude and borderline aggressive and showed no signs of stopping, he saw that they were having difficulty and offered to help and to care for them, and didn't regret his decision or change his opinion on what they needed and their potential for change, even when quite literally killed by them a moment after. Even in death, even directly after a betrayal like that, he never stops believing that they can get better, that anyone can be a good person if they want to be. That's important, I think; that concept of giving people the chances they need to grow and to change. I have a tattoo of that moment on my thigh, it's that important to me. I guess I really like Papyrus because even though he is fictional, watching him out there makes it easy to believe in people, in our inherent goodness and desire to love each other. He makes it easy to see that we can change, that no matter what you've done in the past or who you currently are, no one is inherently a bad person, and no one is incapable of learning how to be a good one. It is just a step by step process that we have to take day by day.

[Image Description: A wordcloud shaped like Papyrus. His gloves, boots, and cape are red; his Battle Body is blue, yellow, and white; and his bones are white. Some of the most visible words are: Kind, Love, Good, Cool, Relate, Funny, Friend, Mystery, and Papyrus. These are the words that responders mentioned most in their essays about him. End I.D.]

Read the full list of responses shared with permission by clicking this link! (The document is 25 pages long, so you may want to make a copy to prevent lagging.)

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

Mob bucky/seb or mob chris/andy recs??

Updated 07/04/21 ✨ = Just Added

To be added please tag me in your future works!

Hey Anon! I’m so glad you asked this because Mob/Mafia! Any version of those boys is my favorite. In my previous fic recs I recommended...

If love was an option by @mianorth » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Part 1 🦋 Part 2 🦋 Part 3

Good Little Wife & Good Little Girl by @donutloverxo » Mob!Andy Barber x Reader – A little dark and it has some really good smut in it.

Blackmail by @stargazingfangirl18 » Soft!DarkMafia Andy Barber x Female Reader — You were just doing it to protect your family, at least that’s what you kept telling yourself, especially once you started to like it. (One-Shot)

Blow Sweet and Thick by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky x Reader — Bucky is having a bad day, you can help him feel good. (Part of Mafia Monday’s)

Run To You by @bestofbucky » Mob!Boss Bucky x Reader — Mob boss Bucky Barnes hires you to be his bodyguard. (Series)

Can’t Run, Can’t Hide by @angrythingstarlight » Dark!MafiaBucky Barnes x Reader — When you get noticed by the infamous mob boss, you flee. But Bucky doesn’t like to be denied anything and he’s coming for you. (One-shot)

Six Feet | Ch.1 ⚰️ Ch.2 by @queenoftheworldisdead » Dark Mob!Steve x Reader + Dark Mob!Bucky x Reader — Your family’s small funeral home comes into financial trouble. In desperation your father finds the most unlikely solution to solve his financial problems. | (Short Series)

Bankrupt by @mypoisonedvine » dark!40’s!Mob!Stucky x Reader — Your husband’s gambling addiction quickly got him in hot water with the mob, and you by extension. When some debt collectors come by to settle what is owed, you realize that you have a lot more to worry about than money problems.

Partition by @angrythingstarlight » Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky comforts you after a bad day, and your boss learns why no one messes with his girl. —> Part 2: Let Me Show You — You wanted to know what your mobster boyfriend did, lucky for you he’s more into the show then tell.

Say the word and it’s yours by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your mobster boyfriend rescues you from a long, boring day at work. Bucky always said, “ask and its yours”

Lost Without You by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky Barnes would be lost with you. You’re his everything and he plans on spending Valentine’s Day proving it to you.

All Dressed In White by @angrythingstarlight » Dark!Mafia Bucky Barnes x Reader — You were going to marry someone else, Bucky won’t let that happen. You belong to him now and forever. Till Death Do You Part.

Thick As Thieves by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader x Mafia!Steve Rogers — The only thing the Mafia hates as much as snitches are thieves. And you’re planning on stealing from Bucky and Steve, what happens if you get caught?

Won’t Let You Go by @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay » Mob!Bucky Barnes x OFC!Kori — Kori met Bucky in one of his clubs, out to get shit-faced with a couple of friends to forget about her worries and maybe take home a guy to further rid herself of her numerous frustrations. Little did she know that the one-night stand with Bucky would turn into so much more than that.

Tell Me What You Want by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Steve Rogers x Reader; Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your mob boyfriend, is none other than Steve Rogers and he is willing to get you whatever you wanted, all you have to do is ask. And be careful what you ask for because he’s going to give it to you over and over again.

To Have & To Hold by @slyyywriting » Bucky Barnes x Mob Boss!Reader — Bucky is trying his best to provide and care for his daughter who just entered first grade. Everything was alright until she asks why everyone else seems to have a mom except for her. You’re just a plain mob boss who wants to turn a new leaf. Challenges arise when the world refuses to let you take a softer, non-violent route. A little girl helps you navigate a compromise.(series)

✨ Mob!Sugar Daddy!Stucky Moodboard by @brattycherubwrites » Mob!Stucky x Reader

✨ Laced Around Your Throat by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Steve x Reader, Mafia!Bucky x Reader — Your Mob boyfriend knows that the only thing that looks even better than his hand around your throat is his custom made necklace. You’re his girl and the world needs to know it.

✨ Hidden Gems by @jtargaryen18 » Mob!Steve Rogers x Mob!Daughter Reader — Your father is the head of one of the most powerful crime families in Boston but he’s protected you from that life. In your quiet home outside the city, you’ve been cared for and protected. When the desires of a more powerful man with the will to dominate bursts into your life, all your illusions are shattered as he comes to claim what is his.

Necessary Arrangements by @stargazingfangirl18 » Andy Barber x Fem!Reader, Ari Levinson x (Different) Fem! Reader ft. Ransom Drysdale » One of my favorite series, chapters are decent sized and the smut is so good!

Hugs My Love by @thatfuckingweirdo » Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Reader — You just really need a hug, and Bucky is the only one you want it from.

my old man is a tough man, but he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam by @cloudystevie » Mob Boss!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader — steve gives you what you want… kind of.

Brooklyn Wars by @world-of-aus » Stucky x Reader

Petals and Bullets by @revengingbarnes » Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader (One of my all time favorites series)

I would check out @sinner-as-saint’s Masterlist they have quite a few Mob!Bucky series and one-shots that I have loved in the past.

Special by @buckycuddlebuddy » Bucky Barnes x Reader — this one-shot is really hot.

Love, Honor, and Obey by @constantwriter85 » Bucky Barnes — This one is good and I need to catch up on.

Mafioso by @captain-barnes-writes » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Please do yourself a favor and read.

Lipstick and Crayons by @oneoftheprettynerds » Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader - In Progress

A really good DarkMob!Steve Drabble called Please Hurt Me by @gotnofucks *chefs kiss*

The Mobster’s Little Girl by @smutsonian » Steve Rogers x Reader

off to the races 🐻 off to the races 2 by @harryspet » Soft!Dark Steve Rogers x Reader

The Ignorant Beauty & the Beast by @mysterioh » Steve Rogers x Reader – With 21 parts sadly it hasn’t been updated in 8 months, it’s one of my favorite Mob!Steve Roger fics out there. *Thanks to @inactivewhore I found out this story was moved to AO3 and is now called where angels fear to tread it was last updated on 13/11/20*

What It Takes by @cherienymphe » Bucky Barnes x Reader — You left Bucky once you found out who he really is. The one thing you thought would guarantee your safety ends up sealing your fate.

Welcome Home by @punani » Chris Evans x Black!Reader — He’s been away for awhile, but he knows that his girl’s loyalty to him knows no bounds. Knows she’s been waiting for him after her adamancy in telling him there was no other option. It’s only right to make the reunion a memorable one. | So, so, so, so freaking good!

These are what I found on Tumblr that I plan on reading.

Handmaid by @extremelyblackandwhite » Sebastian Stan x ingenue!Reader — y/n works as a handmaid for the daughter of an influential mob leader who is promised to the new boss of the most powerful mob family in new york, sebastian.

AO3 Website Reccomendations

Satellite Heart » Stucky x Reader — You used to be Steve and Bucky's girl. Then they fucking left without saying goodbye. Little did they know, you were pregnant. But life went on. You raised your Talia to the best of your ability. But one day, everything goes to shit. Now your boys are back in your life. And they're not planning on leaving anytime soon.

Little Fox A/B/O Series » Soft!Dark Bucky Barnes x Soft!Dark Natasha Romanoff x OFC! & Peter Parker x Soft!Dark Tony Stark — So I can’t stress this enough you need to read the tags for this series and I kept getting confused as I read this story as to how old Violet Mason is. But this series takes you on a roller coaster, I like it, my cousin didn’t finish it, I need to catch up.

Pelmeni *finished* » Stucky x Reader — James Bucky Barnes has a good life, as a member of a powerful organized crime syndicate. His best friend Steve is a member too and his literal partner in crime. Bucky's got a problem though. You. His longtime love and secret girlfriend. Unfortunately, your father is his boss and has plans for you that involve normal life. Steve has a problem too. Steve wants in on your relationship and more than the semi-regular/occasional steamy threesomes. You don't have a problem, you're just busy with a big mob wedding coming up, which means a big celebration, that you're busy catering for.

Dying For This Love » Dark!Bucky x Reader — That was before. When you were Bucky’s girl. Now, you have a score to settle. That’s why you’re wearing Bucky’s favorite red satin dress, the one with the cuts that reach right up to the tops of your thighs, the tennis necklace he gifted you for your anniversary, and are fresh off of a mani/pedi and hair appointment. He’s going to regret the day he fucked with you. | This one is intense and a tad bit dark, but the smut is good.

off to the races » Steve Rogers x Reader — In which you call the kingpin your Daddy.

The Mobster’s Little Girl » Steve Rogers x Reader — what happens when the big bad mobster gets blackmailed by your father to marry you? (kind of fluffy kind of not. kinda dark kinda not.)

Brooklyn Sweethearts » Dark!Stucky x Reader — Bucky and Steve had always been meant to keep her safe and happy. As far as anyone else was concerned, that was their sole reason for being alive. Unfortunately, the things that kept her safe were not always the things that kept her happy. Lately, she was making it pretty damn hard for them to compromise. | Probably one of my all time favorite Mafia!Stucky stories I have ever read, just sadly it also hasn’t been updated in like 8 months and I keep hoping it will get updated.

Hot Doll » Skinny!MobBoss Steve Rogers x Reader — Steve Rogers is on the rise in the New York underground as you’re trying to keep your own place there. | Dark and good!

Doctor Doctor » Steve Rogers x PlusSize! Reader — (1940 Mobster AU!) You're a war widow down on her luck; and the King of Brooklyn, Steve Rogers, takes notice. | Another one of my favorites. A little bit dark as well.

The Widow » Dark!MobBoss x Reader — It’s the 1920s and everyone’s having a roaring time but you. | Trust me it’s just dark enough.

Those are just some on AO3, I would just go through Mafia AU tag and go to filter and click Avengers or Captain America.

[erodasfishtacos]

could u please do like a harry x youtuber/influencer!reader and like lots of fluff🥺

Hi bubbie! Here you go :)))

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Language

Harry was panicking. His mum and sister were going to be here in less than two hours and he’s burnt the eggplant parmigiana he had worked tediously on. 

He grabbed what he had left in his fridge - ground beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and a little bit of bacon. 

It was the type of foods he usually strayed away from so sometimes when his shopper would bring this stuff home - he’d avoid it and admittedly sometimes it would go bad sitting in the fridge.

The singer pulls up YouTube onto his phone - hoping something would come up when he typed in the ingredients on the search bar.

He clicks on the first video by cookingwithnofucks. A chuckle at the name as an advertisement plays.

A cute, bubbly girl appears on screen in a beautiful modern kitchen. She has a shirt on that says ‘fuck the patriarchy and eat pizza’. A high ponytail and minimal makeup.

“Okay - today we’re making a cheeseburger casserole,” the girl chirps, “It’s a heart attack in a dish but it’s so fucking good.”

Harry finds himself smiling as he crinkles his nose - it sounds absolutely disgusting but he’s intrigued more by the girl on the screen.

“Shit, I forgot to introduce myself. Hiii, if you’re new - I’m Y/N and I do cooking shit. Subscribe to my channel and all that jazz,” she titters while cutting open her beef package.

Harry follows along step-by-step, shaking his head as she doesn’t describe the instructions nearly well enough and is generally all over the place.

It’s a fucking cooking channel and at one point the meat starts burning. She just laughs and says, “s’just a little crispy!” 

The casserole turns out looking even better than Y/N’s to be honest. It’s done in just the right amount of time for him to shower before his family arrives.

He makes sure to subscribe to her channel - eyebrows raising when he sees that she has 16 million subscribers.

Harry wanted to spend longer, looking at her social media but there was a fixed time so he locked his phone and went to get ready.

**

Anne - always the sweetheart just tells Harry that the casserole is delicious even as a bit of grease runs down her fork from the fatty meats.

Gemma wasn’t as kind, grimacing at the casserole and remarking, “You truly are turning into an American, huh?”

**

Laying in bed that night, Harry swipes back onto YouTube. Going back to the page he just subscribed to - under a pseudonym. He clicks on another video.

“Uh, okay. So I’m cooking...fuck, it’s called unicorn bark. It looks like a magical animal puke but it looks delicious so we’re going to try it.”

Harry realizes he’s been watching this girl cook for nearly an hour. Different videos from desserts to dinners.

She curses like a sailor, fucks up almost every recipe, and makes a mess everywhere. But she’s smiling and talkative which makes him quite memorized by her.

**

“I hate editing,” Y/N groans, letting her head fall dramatically against the desktop. Her best friend and dog looked at her oddly.

“I keep saying you need to hire someone, you stubborn bitch,” Laney retorts, clicking through her Instagram feed.

“Fuck off,” she tells her friend with no real heat. The video was almost fully edited - how to make spicy as fuck jalapeño poppers.

There is a calm silence for a while until Laney gasps, “Holy shit.”

“What is it?” Y/N asks, not really caring as she clicks her mouse to trim a segment.

“Harry fucking Styles just followed you on Instagram and Twitter!” Laney shouts, her dog - Rufus popping his head up in confusion.

Y/N looks at her friend to see if she’s really serious and sees no signs of deception. “Oh my god,” Y/N replies. She loved Harry Styles in One Direction and as a solo artist - a fangirl if you will.

Y/N was a well-known influencer and has run in the circles of many celebrities. She’s even met Liam Payne but she’s never been able to bump into Harry.

Her alerts tell her it to be true, she swallows as she looks back up at Laney, “He dm’ed me.”

“Open it! What did he say?” She squeals, squeezing herself on the chair next to her, peering over her shoulder at the phone.

Y/N is a bit nervous, trying not to have a mini aneurysm as she opens the message thread.

HarryStyles: Hello. Just wanted to let you know that your cheeseburger casserole recipe saved my ass last night. Cheers x

“He’s totally coming onto you,” Her friend states instantly, bouncing excitedly - she also had a bit of a crush on the singer.

It takes the two of them a minute to cool their shit before Y/N manages a reply.

Y/N/LN: Well I guess it’s only fair. Your songs have made a few of my nights much better. I’m a bit of a slut for Fine Line.

Harry laughs behind his screen at the cheeky reply he gets back. He’s usually never this forward - especially on social media where he likes to fly under the radar.

HarryStyles: Well if you fancy my music that much, I totally love for you to come to a show. I’m performing in New York City in two weeks.

“This has to be a joke, right?” Y/N sputters to her friend, eyes wide at the invite to a concert she already had tickets to.

Y/N/LN: I’m not going to lie, I already have tickets to the show. However, I don’t have any backstage passes to meet the man of the hour. Do you know someone who can hook me up?

It does wonders for Harry’s narcissism to know that she already had tickets for his concert. Was he really going to do this? He hasn’t met up with some like this since his One Direction days.

He had to remind himself - she may just be friendly and take this as a totally casual interaction. Which would be normal, Harry really shouldn’t be so infatuated with someone he’s watched cook on social media.

HarryStyles: I think I can arrange that. Shoot me your number? I’ll have them sent digitally to you with instructions on how to get backstage.

Y/N is a bit dumbfounded at how fast they agreed to meet up. A harmless backstage tour - he could just be a fan of hers and totally not interested, right?

**

Over the next few weeks, they never really stop texting. Harry sends her pictures of the recipes he copies off her channel - that usually always look better than the original. He sends her clips of him goofing around during tour rehearsal. FaceTimes her when he’s finally home for the night.  

She sends him videos of her watching Harry Styles Best Moment Part Five. A few photos she snaps throughout the city of him on billboards and buildings, in Times Square. YN facetimes him when she’s frustrated with filming or watched a sad movie.

It didn’t make sense to either of them how seamlessly they’d clicked - especially without meeting. They were a perfect balance for each other. Harry - laidback, organized, level-headed. Y/N - eccentric, all over the place, adventurous. 

Jeff had told him that he’s been gaining media attention from his social media interactions with Y/N. They like each other’s photos, begin following each other’s friends, and comment goofy things on their posts.

“Listen, I have a great idea,” Y/N begins - which Harry learned is never good. “You should film a video with me sometime.”

Y/N knew she was going out on a limb and instantly regretted the questions she’d been building the courage to ask for days when it’s quiet on his end. There’s static for a moment and Y/N needs to fill the silence.

“It was - I was just, uh, I know you’re probably too busy. I was -“ She stutters, embarrassment flooding her.

Harry cuts her off, “I’d love to.”

“Yo-you would?” She asks timidly. Was she really going to have Harry Styles in her apartment? If so, should she take down her poster?

He laughs sweetly, “Why do you sound so surprised? I can’t wait to come to New York, love.”

Y/N giggles, “Not the fact that you’re performing in front of a sold out crowd at MSG? I don’t think seeing me will top that.”

“I’ve been looking forward to meetin’ you in person since I came across your channel. You so lovely,” Harry replies, his voice a little softer but more serious.

“I’m nervous,” Y/N admits, picking at a thread in her jeans.

“Me too,” Harry murmurs, despite not wanting to admit it - he wanted her to know this was new territory for both of them. He didn’t want her to think that this was something that he did often. But a little too prideful to admit it’s the first time he’s ever done something quite like this.

“What if you don’t like me?” Y/N whispers, she...well she didn’t compare to the models he’s been seen with before. She’s regretfully fell into the rabbit hole of looking up his past flings and relationships.

Harry barks out a disbelieving laugh, “You can’t be serious, darling. I’ve been gone for you since I saw you burn that ground beef.”

**

Harry was having a bad day - scratch that. An awful one. He tried to go get coffee at eight in the morning and got bombarded by fans, he left the shop without even ordering. They followed him back to his car and it took him fifteen minutes to pull out.

His favorite Mickey Mouse Gucci suitcase he was bringing along on tour had busted. The zipper unraveling and the trim falling off as a result. It was a one-of-a-kind.

Then he’d been stuck on a Skype meeting about tour merchandise with a group of business partners for the last three hours - all he wanted was a fucking nap.

When Y/N’s contact vibrated across his screen, he’s itching to answer but declines as he needs to give these people his attention.

When she calls again, Harry feels a prickle of annoyance. It’s not even at her - to be quite honest. It’s just the shitty day and everything’s piling up.

He always got like this before he kicked off a tour - stress level maxed out and his ability to handle minor incidents nearly shot.

I’m busy

Okay! Sorry, just have a super exciting surprise for you, bub! 

I really do not feeling like talking. I’d rather be left alone.

Oh, alright. Hope everything’s okay! Do you still want to facetime later?

Harry leaves her on read because he doesn’t want to slip up and take out his frustration on her. He’d been known to do that and he didn’t want her to think he was anything but besotted with her.

**

Y/N feels a little hesitant as she begins the uploading process to her channel. The red loading bar told her it’d be twenty-minutes before it’s going to be posted to her 16 million subscribers - one of them being Harry himself. 

Twenty-minutes for her to back out and cancel the upload. She starts having doubts about it when Harry never replies to her text which is unlike him. 

She takes Rufus out to avoid staring at the loading screen with unnecessary anxiety and uneasiness.

**

Harry is just getting home from a business dinner with the touring company’s management team. The tension and anxiety from today piling up on his shoulders and he just wants to call Y/N and crash in bed. 

He tosses his keys in the little bowl in the entry and kicks off his dingy white vans to the side. His phone dings with an alert from Gemma.

You two are the literal cutest ever. It’s quite gross.

Harry slides onto a stool in his kitchen, confused by the text message before she’s sending the link to him.

Fine Line Inspired Cupcakes!

Harry isn’t quite sure why his heart starts pounding furiously in his chest. A sinking feeling in his stomach when he realizes that this was probably the surprise she was excited about.

He clicks on the thumbnail.

“Hiiii, it’s Y/N. Okay, well today we are going to bake some Fine Line inspired cupcakes. And if you haven’t listened to the album - get your ass out from rock you’re living under and stream it on Spotify!”

She has her hair down in long, waves and a loose cropped shirt that says TPWK in rainbow embroidery.

Harrys mouth is dry and he can’t take his fucking eyes away from the screen. 

“Soo, I was thinking the first batch would be cherry flavored? ‘Cause he has a song titled ‘Cherry’. Let’s start there. First - I need to find my measuring cups.”

In true Y/N fashion, she scours her kitchen - cussing and yanking stuff out of her neatly organized cabinets before huffing and storming off to the side.

She comes back into view, a little frazzled but smiling when she holds up the ring of plastic measuring spoons, visible bite marks notched into the material.

“My asshole of a dog had a little snack,” Y/N shows the camera before shrugging, “Let’s get this shit started. Okay, you’re going to need one cup of sugar - no wait, two? I can’t read my fucking handwriting.”

Harry’s absolutely enamored by this scatter-brained, giggly girl who manages to produce cute blue and pink cupcakes that very vaguely resembled his album cover. His heart felt a million times too big for his chest.

He was enraptured for the entirety of the thirty minute video without taking his eyes away once.

To be honest, he hadn’t felt this way since his last relationship which was over a year ago at this point.

It’s not even a thought as he’s requesting a FaceTime with Y/N. 

She answers after a few rings. She has a green face mask painted on her nose, chin, and forehead with gold eye masks under each eye. She is so fucking ridiculous it’s not even funny. 

What is even more ridiculous is how gone Harry is realizing he is for her. She was quirky, unfiltered, carefree. If he was honest - he hadn’t met a girl like that in a very long time - especially a well-known influencer.

“Hi! How was your day, grumpy?” Y/N asks brightly, making a goofy face as the mask begins to tighten and crack on her skin. Not holding the earlier conversation against him and deciding to just move forward. She understood how stressful it can be.

“M’sorry. I was a bit grumpy,” He admits, “I loved your new video, darling. Did you make those just f’me?”

He can tell she’d be blushing if her face wasn’t covered, a bit bashful as she mutters, “You already know I did it for you.”

“You’re too sweet to me, only six days until we meet,” Harry replies, voice taking on a slow, lazy drawl. 

“Six days,” Y/N repeats, eyes crinkling as she smiles with excitement.

**

“Is this outfit too much?” Y/N panics. Even though there’s literally nothing she can do about it - they’re already walking towards the backstage entrance of the massive arena. It’s still about two hours until the show starts but Harry requested her to come earlier.

Laney sighs, “For the millionth time, you look fucking sexy and Harry’s going to want to rail you right when he sees you.”

Y/N shoves her lightly with a faux annoyance as they meet up with a burly man who’s blocking the entrance to the backstage hallway and rooms.

She gives him their names and pulls up the passes on her phone before he’s nodding with any expression and letting them pass.

They’re not quite sure where to go from here so they begin to wander down the long hallway toward what looks to be the main area that people are milling about.

Y/N is nearly on the ground when someone rounds the corner without looking and walks right into her. Both of them let out huffs of air as they collide and attempt to stabilize themselves.

But there are large hands grasping her arms and holding her steady. In typical Y/N fashion she’s already cursing, “fuckin like a brick wall, look out next time.”

Then she’s looking up to Harry staring back down at her with an amused expression. He doesn’t let go of her and instead tugs her against his bare chest. He’s warm and a bit sweaty - like he’d just worked out. He was only in a pair of thin, running shorts, nike tennis shoes, and a little clip holding his hair off of his face.

Y/N can’t help but wrap her arms around his waist, returning the embrace and amazed by how right it feels to be in his arms. Her face tucks right against his collarbone and it’s like they’d known each other for years.

Pictures and videos don’t do this man justice. He’s gorgeous - sharp edges and dark inked skin. Tall and muscular but dimples that are carved in his cheeks. 

“Nice to meet you, m’Harry,” Harry rumbles, removing one hand from Y/N’s shoulder to reach out his hand to her friend.

Laney shakes his hand before asking, “Laney. I’ll leave you two lovebirds be. Where’s the food?”

Harry chuckles against Y/N’s wavy hair, “Down the hall to the left.”

Laney’s trailing off without another glance, she was very food motivated despite her skinny frame. Also not wanting to intrude of the very personal first moments of their meeting.

The popstar pulls back to look down at the girl he’s fallen for in mere weeks. She’s as beautiful as he thought she'd be - if not more. He can’t help himself, “Would it be too forward to kiss you?”

Y/N smiles widely, running a hand along his jawline, “I’ve wanted you to kiss me since you stayed up on FaceTime with me until two in the morning as I cried after watching The Notebook - despite me seeing it a million times.”

Harry ducks forward to press his lips softly to her, large hands come to cup the side of her face as they connect. He’s so gentle as he moves his mouth against hers. In true Y/N fashion, she’s bold and has no hesitation slipping her tongue into his mouth.

He’s so fucking in love with her. It doesn’t make much sense - it’s definitely not logical but he’s realizing that’s okay.

“Oii, get a room!” Someone shouts from down the hallway teasingly.

Harry flips them the middle finger and pulls back, pink lips swollen and puffy, dimples on full display, “Let me take you out to dinner after the show, darling.”

“You going to wine and dine me, Styles?” Y/N giggles, unable to contain the pleasant warmness he’s spreading through her body. 

“Mmm, have t’make sure you’ll want to keep me,” Harry murmurs happily against her lips once again, pressing kiss after kiss to her to make sure she’s real, “Definitely want to keep you.”

Y/N bites teasingly at his bottom lip, hand planted on the soft but firm skin of his stomach, “You’re never getting rid of me, hope you know that.”

“Was hoping you’d say that, now let me introduce you to my band.”

                                  -- ---- ---- -- 1 year later - -- --- --- --

“Hi bitches! Today is a super special day. We have the one, the only Harry Styles filming with us. I know that’s not really that special since he’s on here all the time with me. But we’re celebrating our one year anniversary!” Y/N smiles, bumping hips with Harry who stands dutifully next to her. 

Anyone viewing can see the absolute heart-eyes and adoration he has for the girl standing next to him. He’s still as lovestruck and gone for her as he was the first time they met. Harry’s fans were thrilled - for the first time in years, he’d opened up again.

They weren’t very public on social media beside’s tagging each other in memes and posting the occasional picture. Y/N was constantly uploading cooking videos from wherever in the world she was with Harry on his tour, she’d also begin making vlogs about different foods she’s been experiencing.

---

“Okay, so here in Peru - they’re known to have this really fucking spicy beef with noddles. So obviously, I’m going to make Harry try it first,” Y/N laughs as she props the camera up on the side of the table on a napkin holder.

Harry - who has a concert in a few hours - frowns at the steaming dish in front of him, “Darling, I don’t want to try it first. It’s going to burn my mouth. Not gonna be able to sing.”

“You’re sucha baby sometimes,” Y/N rolls her eyes, slurping up the noodles with her fork while making a silly face at her boyfriend. She pulls back, straight-faced, “It’s not hot at all. Tastes amazing, though.”

Harry takes that as an initiative to shovel a spoonful into his mouth. It only takes half a moment until his taste buds erupt in fiery flames from the spices, “You bloody little brat, y’tricked me! It’s so fuckin’ hot!”

Y/N smiles widely, laughing much too loudly in the restaurant when Harry chugs the glass of water next to the plate while glaring at his love. “I’m sorry, s’just to easy with you, lovie,” She replies, leaning over the table to press a kiss to his lips. 

He’s a sucker for her and kisses her right back despite his mouth being an inferno. His heart was on fire for her and that burned much more intensely.

---

“No, love. The instructions say baking soda, not baking powder. They’re not the same thing,” Harry sighs, attempting to read her scribbled, sloppy handwriting. She’d already spilled milk on half of the paper.

“S’interchangeable, right?” Y/N hums, cracking an egg into the bowl and Harry automatically knows to look to fish out the eggshells that’d she’d let slip in because she sucks at cracking eggs but always wants to do it.

Harry reaches over her, grabbing the vanilla extract and a teaspoon, “It’s not, baby. Lemme do this real quick.”

“Will you make me a grilled cheese after this?” She asks, nuzzling into his side and wrapping her arms around his waist as he finishes adding the wet ingredients to their bowl. Harry stopped questioning her thought process a long time ago.

Harry swipes his finger into the mixture of icing off to the side and rubs it right onto her nose, cackling at her pout and squeaking when she pinches at the fleshy skin of his hips. She in turn dips her finger into the sugary cream and pops it right into her mouth.

Harry eyes darken, watching her lips purse as she sucks off the icing. It was a dirty move on Y/N’s part and she knows it. It has her boyfriend dragging an icing-covered thumb along her collarbone before leaning down to slowly lick up the sugary trail with his tongue.

When Y/N slides her fingers into his hair and lets out a pretty moan, Harry’s standing back up, trailing over to the tripod and saying into the camera, “We’ll be back after a little commercial break,” and is then turning off the record button.

It takes little to no time for Harry to have Y/N’s bum on the countertop, mouth on her neck, and hand in-between her thighs.

And when they finally posted a very edited final cut of the video - well there may be a couple of fans who notice the how flushed Y/N is halfway through and a lovely purple mark on Harry’s neck that wasn’t there in the beginning of the video.

[imtooscaredforthis]

Entrapment

Chapter Five: A Brand New Plaything

Mentions of: Stalking, Inappropriate/Uncomfortable Behavior, Unwanted Touching, Sadistic Thoughts, Homicidal Thoughts, and Some good ol Danny

A/N: I am officially dead inside, but thank god I finally got a break. I’ve just had a long, shitty day, lmao But I hope you guys enjoy this.

Tags: @moonshineinasippycup @autisticpickle @dead-bxtch-walking @darthwhorecrux @froegis

With a frown adorning your lips, you stomped over to the elevator, pressing on the buttons impatiently, waiting for it to open. Looking over your shoulder, you glanced at the clock, seeing that you were already forty-five minutes late.

You’ve had a long and shitty morning, which all started with you oversleeping, and rushing through your routine, which, to save time, excluded a shower. Then, you had to run to the coffee shop and get your coworker’s orders and then run across the crosswalk, tripping over yourself as you did so, spilling burning coffee all over your white blouse.

So, you had to go to the shop, get the same order, and run to the building, almost getting hit by a car, and flipping the driver off, before going on your way. At this point, you’re really regretting not taking that shower, sniffing your armpits, and wincing.

Fuck, you’re such a mess.

–

Leaning back and stretching in his chair, scanned the area around him. When he noticed no one was paying attention to him or his cubicle, he pulled out his address book, flipping through the pages.

There are times like this when he’s happy to have slow moments during the day. They give him a chance to loosen up his mask a little and let his true self slip through the cracks.

With a bored expression on his face, Danny went past the pages with names he had already crossed out until he reached the most recent page. What should he do today? Should he give Mr.Owens a visit and see what he’s up to?

For some reason, the idea didn’t give him as much excitement as it usually did. He had been feeling a little burnt out lately, but maybe it was because of how boring his victim was. A middle-aged businessman who committed fraud and laundered money. Now you would think that would be a little more exciting, but it wasn’t.

Things haven’t been the same as they normally were. He didn’t get that same feeling he got when he was stalking. There were no butterflies in his stomach, there was no shiver down his spine, there was no intense bloodlust. It all felt muted and numb.

He hated when things got like that. He hated feeling bored, especially with victims he spent so much time picking out. The idea of it just wasn’t as appealing as it used to be.

This only happened once before when he had spared his victim, but he found searching for another one to be just as difficult. He was just…tired. He wasn’t going to move again. He arrived only a few months ago, and he liked it here. Typically, he only moved if people got too close to finding out who he truly was, but when he was bored, he did something else.

He got a toy. Someone he could play with, someone he could break down until they were utterly nothing. Knowing that he was capable of doing that gave him quite the rush.

But who would he choose? Who could it be?

“God damn piece of-” You swore under your breath, smacking at your monitor in frustration. Danny smirked, turning his attention to you.

You looked like you were having a long day, your hair all messy, your eyes tired and frustrated, and an awful brown coffee stain all over your shirt.

You came in almost an hour late today and got chewed out pretty bad. Jed watched as the whole scene played out, watched as you hung your head while Langley lectured you. And sure, your bashful and ashamed behavior was cute, but that’s not what he was really interested in.

No, what he’s interested in is that anger he sees in you. The way your fists curled up into balls, as you walked back to your desk, and even the way you are now, scowling at your computer, it was..intriguing.

There’s a certain edge to that angry look you get in your eyes. One that looks like a spark, to something much more fiery you keep inside. He wondered what it would be like to see that flame.

Noticing him staring, you flashed a small, fake, smile, before rebooting your monitor again. You could definitely work as something he could play with.

Danny had taken mental notes of everything he knew about you as he did with most people. He was the type of person to read and observe others around him. To analyze who they were completely, and you were quite interesting.

From studying you, he’s learned a lot. Not as much as he knows of his victims, but a good amount. You just graduated from Florida State University, and from the pictures, he’s seen on your desk, you have a big family, with four brothers and two sisters, all younger than you.

You want to be a big shot journalist, and you’re young and ambitious, a little too ambitious at times. You think that nothing will kill you, but Icarus too, was burnt by the sun.

Out of everyone in the Gazette, you were the most interesting. The rest are all the same, stereotypical by the book reporters, no one standing out like you do.

Danny also found your interactions with Jamison very entertaining. Like always, he would be friendly with you, a little too friendly at times, with lingering touches and glances. You would take notice and try to brush it off or try to avoid it, but would always fail.

When you caught him staring at your ass in your skirts, you tried switching to dress pants, but that didn’t stop him. You were uncomfortable around him, and you didn’t like him. It was cute and funny.

There was just one problem though. Danny had promised himself he would never kill his co-workers, no matter how desperately he wanted to.

He can’t mix business and pleasure, he reminded himself.

But it’s not like you’ll stay. You’re just a temp, after all, and a while after you’re gone, after he’s destroyed you, he’ll kill you.

He couldn’t help but wonder how you would react to Ghostface. Danny loved the way your eyes got all big as you listened to him talk about it, hanging onto every word. He wondered how afraid you would get. He wondered if you would cry and run, or fight back.

That familiar sadistic feeling he got came crawling back into his stomach, making him get excited. Too excited. Grabbing a pen, he began to chew on the cap, trying to keep himself calm. He turned back to his address book, found an open space, and scribbled your name down.

In the end, you’ll probably be happy with him. He’ll give you the fifteen minutes you’re oh so desperate for. He’ll make you a star.

[helliontherapscallion]

Why Couldn’t it Have Been Me?

Part 2

Paring: Wilbur Soot x reader (past), Ghostbur x reader

Disclaimer: This contains major spoilers for Tommyinnit’s 4/29 lore stream

Warnings: swearing, violence, death, near death, cheating, 4/29 lore stream, grief, blood, injury, panic attack

Word count: 6,737

(A/N): So in this, you’re Schlatt’s twin and Puffy’s your older sister. Also, sorry for any mistakes, I typed a good 2/3 of this on my phone

This was your own personal hell: being trapped within cement walls with your ex fiance, your asshole of a brother, and a Dream wannabe that seemed to never lose any energy. Your life was like a trope in a novel alive you would’ve liked, however being cursed to live in it made you absolutely loathe any and all mention of it. 

Alive you would’ve killed to hang out with your brother again, not the one that turned to the bottle. Alive you would’ve craved the sweet melodies that streamed from Wilbur’s mouth. You would’ve swooned and maybe, just maybe, you would’ve forgiven him. Alive you would’ve perhaps liked this ‘Mexican Dream’ guy, you would’ve perhaps become the best of friends. 

However you despised the three locked up with you with your whole heart. 

Your ex fiance was someone you adored. Hell, you even idolized him when you were alive. The Wilbur you knew was sweet, loving, attentive, and just all around someone that you swooned over. You could still remember how your heart exploded when he first asked you out under the setting sun by the ocean. You remembered every song he's written for you, every word and rhythm by heart, even after all these years. 

You remembered how you felt your heart completely shatter when you found the songs he had in his drafts for someone that wasn't you. Someone by the name of 'Sally'. After a heated argument you had broken up with him, taking the engagement ring off from your finger and throwing it deep into the ocean. You stayed on L'Manberg's side even after all that, too loyal and proud towards the country you helped forge to drop it. You wouldn't let some stupid boy or rabid tyrants prevent you from raising your beautiful nation up from the ashes.

That had been your downfall. You should've listened to Puffy and left the country behind when you had the chance, now you paid the ultimate price for your deep rooted loyalty and devotion towards independence. And your sacrifice didn't even matter in the end! Your deranged ex blew it all to smithereens. If you didn't despise him before, you absolutely did after your dumbass twin told you about his little 'escapades' while you were gone.

Every little thing Wilbur did, no matter how small it was, made you hate him even more. Every time he would shuffle those damned cards, it made you want to rip them to shreds and throw them across the train tracks. Every time he would sing or even breathe, you wanted to strangle him. You were absolutely certain that Schlatt felt the same. 

Oh, your twin was a real card. Always boasting about how his horns were bigger than yours (who even cares anymore? Yours grew in first anyways), telling the others about your shortcomings through crude jokes, even going as far as fighting you through headbutting; you could still feel the pain of being beaten to death before respawning immediately. Schlatt hadn’t known that you respawn even in the afterlife, so you knew he was serious about killing you. You just wanted Puffy, she was far more tolerable than your twin. 

The rustling of his suit jacket and his small grunts and pants resonated within the walls as he did various forms of exercising. You now knew about all of the differing variations of a pushup and you hated yourself for listening to his explanations. He would beg you, Mexican Dream, and Wilbur to stand on his back while he did his endless routines. The only one to readily take him up on that offer was Mexican Dream.

That man was arguably the only one you slightly tolerated, and you said that very lightly. He was still annoying as all hell, but he was a new face. Well, one that you didn’t know well enough to have a grudge against while you were alive. It was slightly refreshing, in a sense. When he first got here, his songs, stories, and humor gave you a nice break away from Wilbur’s depressing songs and Schlatt’s crude jokes. However when you spend eleven years trapped in a cage with one person, everything they do becomes the bane of your existence. 

You were running out of things that kept you sane in this dump. You've read the same novel, counted the same ceiling and floor tiles (32 ceiling tiles and 57 floor tiles exactly), traced the same cracks in the walls, temporarily killing the same cellmates, you've done anything and everything that this cesspool had to offer. You've done everything billions of times over, a never ending cycle of monotony. 

Tommy joining your group of miserable has-beens was perhaps the highlight of your fifteen, almost sixteen, years spent in this shithole. Though he finally dropped the brave facade and showed just how broken down he was after everything he’s been through, having him around was the saving grace to your sanity. He told you how your sister was, how your nephews were, and most importantly what you missed. You knew about all of the events leading up to Mexican Dream's death, but you were left in the dark with everything past that. Ender, you missed so much since you died; It baffled you how much you missed. 

When the train actually stopped at your cell instead of just passing by and it's doors opened, you were just expecting another poor soul to be dropped off here. You could imagine everybody's surprise when none other than Dream stepped out of those doors. The nephew that had betrayed you without a second thought, that had murdered you, that had your severed head displayed on his mantle (you weren't sure the truth of that last statement, Tommy has a habit of over exaggerating. Though, Schlatt did say that your body was found with a missing head when you first forced him to tell you what you missed). Tommy talked to you about how he died only once, so you knew just what your nephew has been up to. It infuriated you knowing that your adult nephew was manipulating and abusing this young teenager.

While you were releasing your pent up frustrations on the masked man, he merely brushed past you and drug Tommy into the train by the arm. You could remember Wilbur banging on the doors begging for Dream to return his little brother and his angered screams echoing down the railways as the train sped off back towards the land of the living. 

Lucky Tommy, he got to live out the rest of his life and actually age. You and your crew of intolerable jesters were stuck together once again. 

Everybody was silent for a few months, reeling at the newly discovered fact that Dream could actually resurrect people. During those three months, they were quiet and tolerable. In a way, the talks that came out of it was like one of those family therapy sessions your older sister would hold in the living room (you remembered how she would grab you and Schlatt by the horns if either one of you refused to go). You would kill to attend one of those therapy sessions again, and this is the closest you were going to get to it. 

You all talked about the things you regretted most while you were alive. Mexican Dream's was that he didn't protect his girlfriend Mamacita well enough. Schlatt's was choosing alcohol and power over his family (tears were especially shed over Tubbo, he really did regret abandoning him to be raised by you). Yours was that you were too loyal to a cause that would be absolutely decimated a short while after you sacrificed everything for it. Surprisingly, Wilbur's was that he had hurt you.

He had begged and groveled for forgiveness, telling you that he just didn't feel that special connection with you anymore. That didn't take away from the fact that he was seeing another while you two were still dating and that he blew up your life's work. He had stolen everything from you, and you would never forgive him for that. 

After you made your thoughts on him completely clear, he had started treating you like you treated him in the last few months. Tension was building up between you two that had laid dormant for thirteen and a half years like a rope pulled taut about to snap.

Everybody had slowly returned to their annoying selves slowly but surely. Schlatt resumed his workout routine, Mexican Dream had started loudly singing and ranting about Mamacita's everlasting beauty again, and Wilbur eventually started up his solitaire and songwriting once again.

The three of them made you want to rip off your twisting horns and shove them in your ears in hopes of muffling them, but you knew that whomever put you here would restore your hearing and make your horns regrow. You knew that first hand after you spent a couple of years alone in this hellhole; breaking your horns off by repeatedly banging your head against the dull stone walls in a manic state was never fun. The regeneration of the keratin only slightly stung, it was like you were a kid and they were growing in for the first time again. 

You felt your eye twitch as Wilbur sang about that damned train for the umpteenth time since he arrived. It’s always ‘train this' and ‘train that' and quite frankly you were sick of it. You were sick of him. 

“Shut the fuck up about that damned train,” Schlatt seethed. You never once thought you would ever agree with your twin, but here you were nodding in agreement and shooting a glare at Wilbur’s direction. The brunet merely stopped his singing and reshuffled his cards, the sound making an ugly cacophony and grating at your ears. 

“Not my fault you two don’t want to talk to me. I’m just making due with what I’ve been given.” He dealt the cards out in piles and started yet another game of solitaire. Seriously, how many games of solitaire can one play before they lose it? You supposed that you’d find out soon, Wilbur has been playing that monotonous card game nonstop for thirteen and a half years.

“Yeah, let the hombre chill! I like his music.” The masked man reached up to stroke his goatee, the scratching sound further penetrating your focus on your book. 

Everything was quiet before Mexican Dream's voice pierced it, "hey, did I ever tell you guys how beautiful my Mamacita was?"

"You told us millions of times, fuckface. You narrate entire love letters daily, so how could we not know how 'beautiful' she was?" You complained, not once looking up from your book. Schlatt snorted to himself and returned to his workout. Mexican Dream crossed his arms in anger, cursing you out under his breath. Wilbur merely glanced at you and rolled his eyes. "You know, I'm tired of your bitchy attitude. Let him talk about Mamacita, it's not his fault every time you think you love someone it fails." 

Your grip on your book tightened impossibly. If it were physically possible, the book would be crumbling to dust in your voice grip. You practically see red as you slowly dog-eared the worn page you were on and put your book down. 

"Oh shit," you heard Schlatt mumble and move away from you, Mexican Dream following suit. When you both were alive, your anger was always something you knew Schlatt feared. However, you knew that he's never seen you this angry; nobody has. The majority of what you've been holding in for almost fourteen years is about to be unleashed. 

"You know what I'm sick of, Wilbur?"

"Oh, do enlighten us."

"I'm sick of each and every single one of you. You three have been absolutely intolerable ever since you arrived. I was doing just fine alone and the universe just had to fuck everything up for me, just like it always does."

"There you go again," Wilbur laughed sardonically, "making everything about yourself." He gathered his cards and shuffled them repeatedly. 

"I make everything about myself?! Do you even hear yourself? Mr. Oh-I'm-such-a-disappointment-to-Philza, you wallow in self pity twenty-four seven! You fucking write every single song about yourself!”

"I didn't want to come here, okay?! I didn't think it was gonna be like this! God, I might as well be in hell with you here." 

"Believe me, my hell started fourteen years ago when you guys started showing up," you growled out, your ears flattening to the sides of your skull.

"Have you ever stopped to think that you're our hell? All you've done since we came here was complain and be a massive douche to all of us." He fluttered through the deck more and more as the argument escalated, the noise making you want to scream until you tasted blood.

"I'm the one that's in the wrong here? You fucked up my entire life. He," you pointed at Schlatt, "keeps beating me to death. And he," you jutted your chin towards Mexican Dream, "never shuts the hell up… Would you stop with that damn deck?! You're literally so fucking annoying." 

He narrowed his eyes, "make me."

A mixture of an animalistic growl and a guttural scream left your lips as you charged at him, your head tilted downwards so he could feel the brunt of your horns. He moved out of the way just in time, the side of your horn brushing against his arm. You crashed head first into the stone wall before you stabilized yourself and looked at the brunet with seething hatred. 

He was staring at you in shock, "how're you-" You used his shock to your advantage, throwing a right hook at his face. His head whipped to the side and his body followed, sending him to the ground in a heap.

"How am I still conscious? I'm a ram hybrid, dumbass. What'd you expect?" You huffed angrily before you pried the cards out of his hand and stalked over to the tracks. 

He scrambled up to stop you, but before he could even reach you, you held the deck over the tracks and looked down at him. You could just imagine how your horizontal pupils were blazing with fury. 

You reveled in the betrayal and animosity gleaming in his eyes as you dangled the thing he held dearest in this hell over the railroads. If you were to drop them, he'd never be able to see them again.

"We promised not to touch belongings on our first day here!" He yelled at you, his hands wrung in front of him nervously hiding the slight tremor. "Our first day here?" You scoffed, "the last time I checked, I was here for two years before any of you showed up." You gestured around the room in one angry swipe, the cards slipping slightly with how sweaty your hands were. It was then that you saw the fear in Schlatt's eyes. Good, that bastard should be scared of you. "If anything, you all are in my domain."

Wilbur flinched at the sight of the cards slowly slipping out of your hand, his breath hitching and panic stricken across his features. Mexican Dream stood up from his place and put his hands up. He was slowly approaching you like you were a cornered wild animal, making sure that you saw his every move. 

He nervously chuckled, "let's just put the cards down and have a nice talk. Doesn't that sound better than this, mi amigo?"

You shook the cards once again, taking in Wilbur's silent anguish with glee. "I'm not your friend, I'm anything but. Don't tell me what to fucking do or else that picture of Mamacita is the next to go."

"...Okay, you're in charge, man. Do what you want." He reluctantly sat back down next to Schlatt. The ram was watching in fear, yet it looked like he was entertained with what was happening. You couldn't blame him, the last interesting thing that happened was three full months ago when Tommy was taken. That and you probably looked feral at the moment.

"You understand that if you drop those, they're lost forever right?"

You threw your head back and laughed, "of course I know, why do you think I only have one sock? I already tried that shit out before you came." You hummed to yourself in thought, then grinned. Wilbur was going to love this.

While you shuffled the deck, you kept a close eye on the movement happening inside the cell. Another perk to being a ram hybrid was that you had a nearly 360 degree scope of everything around you. The only movement happening was the panicked breaths from Wilbur, good. You huffed in amusement, "alright Wilbur, let's do a card trick. I'd ask you to pick a card, any card, but I don't want to risk you fucking shit up again. So, I'm just going to draw for you." You drew a card from the middle of the deck and showed it to him. "The eight of clubs, how fitting." 

"(Y/n), I don't know what you're getting at, but if you don't give me those cards right now-"

"Shut it, I'm not done. I'm going to shuffle this back into the deck, watch the hands." You kept eye contact with him as you shuffled the cards rigorously, the card you pulled long since hidden with the slight of a hand. After a bit of shuffling and reshuffling, you had sneakily put the card between the two halves and bridged them until the cards were in one pile with the eight of clubs on top. 

You chuckled and pulled the top card, once again showing it to him. "Is this your card?"

He nodded slightly, never once taking his eyes off from the deck. "Yes, now give it back to me!" The angry and anxious undertones were like music to your ears.

You tapped your chin in thought, "hm, I don't think I will. You've taken so much from me, it's only fair that I get some revenge." Without another word, you threw the cards behind your head and smiled widely at the sound of the fluttering down to the tracks. 

Wilbur launched himself forward with a frantic yell, his hands flailing to catch all of the cards before they were lost forever. He only succeeded in catching a few. 

His breath shuddered as he stared at the three cards in his hand: the five of diamonds, the four of spades, and the seven of hearts. The fate of the universe was on your side for once, perhaps preternaturally so. 

"You- do you realize what you just did?!" He spun around to face you. If humans could froth at the mouth, a full waterfall would be streaming through his gritted teeth. His eyes held the rage of a man that had just lost everything in one singular instant, the resentment swirling in his dark brown orbs. Several veins were bulging in his face and neck, painting the skin in a red hue.

You walked over to your book and plopped yourself down. "Yeah," you said with a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders. You opened up your book and started reading it again, leaving the man to his grief. 

Everything was quiet once more much to your delight. Though you read this book from cover to cover thousands of times, enough to know most of the words by heart, you were never able to fully enjoy and immerse yourself in it with them around. You took this time to reclaim your designated corner and spend some quality time reading. 

You spent hours with your nose buried deep in your book, savoring the peace. That was until it was snatched out of your hands and ripped away from you. You looked up in slight shock at the sight of Wilbur snapping it shut and walking over to the tracks. 

No. No. Nononono he can’t. That was the only thing keeping you sane. He can't just get rid of it when he's done so much towards you when you were alive. 

A wail left your mouth as you tackled him to the ground, your arms wrapped around his midsection. He crashed to the ground with a grunt, his forehead smacking against the painted yellow stone. You straddled his back and ripped the book away from him, throwing it across the room and away from the tracks. 

You grabbed a fist full of his hair after yanking off his beanie and tossing it into oblivion with his precious cards. You pulled his head up and leaned close to his ear, "you try that shit again and your hat and cards won't be the only things lost to the void." Venom was seeping through your every word, "do you understand me?" 

He merely jerked his head to the side, colliding it with your nose and mouth. You shouted in surprise and let him go in favor of holding your aching nose. You could feel the warmth of the blood pouring from it. Through teary eyes, you looked up at Wilbur as he grabbed your book and flung it against the wall of the opposite side of the tracks. You scampered to the edge and watched in horror as it disappeared into the void. 

Without warning, you were forced to the ground, a hand holding you by a horn and a knee between your shoulder blades. You struggled before a dark chuckle was heard, "if you keep moving, you'll slip! Do you really want that?" You begrudgingly stopped, realizing that he had all the power in this situation. If he wanted to, he could just slide you off from the platform and toss you away like throwing a piece of paper into the trash.

"Good, you're not as stupid as you were earlier today." He slid you forward, holding your upper body over the tracks by the horn. You came face to face with the swirling abyss that was the void, small shapes appearing from your eyes adjusting to the sudden lack of visual stimulant. Your breathing picked up as he lowered you slightly, "you don't wanna do this." 

"No, I do. Thirteen and a half years of having to be around you was hell, but the shit you pulled today just put the icing on the cake. Do you have any last words before you go?"

You grunted as he shook your head slightly, a slight pain coming from the base of your horn. "Fuck you." 

"How appropriate, now let's see if you'll come back this time. It'll be our fun little science experiment!"

He dropped your horn without a care in the world, sending you plummeting to your demise. A terrified scream ripped it's way out of your throat and you screwed your eyes tightly shut in preparation for the void. Your body came to a jerking halt as you held your breath, preparing for… whatever awaited you. However, nothing came.

You cracked open an eye only to be met with the uncanny inkyness, the invisible mist freezing your face and its frostbitten arms opened wide for you. But you never fell into its embrace. 

Instead, you were pulled back onto the platform. You laid on your stomach with your horn supporting your head staring at the wall, tracing every single nook and cranny of the bricks. Your chest heaved as you greedily gasped for air. You never thought you'd be so relieved to see the cement walls you've been trapped in for over a decade and a half.

You were once again pulled up into a now sitting position and leaned against the wall, your back touching the cool cement. Across from you, you saw Mexican Dream pinning a struggling Wilbur down to the floor. Wilbur's crazed eyes met you, piercing through your very being. However, that didn't affect you in the slightest; you almost were just wiped from existence completely, you stared into the abyss and it stared back at you.

You felt… strange, to say the least. While icy fear and adrenaline coursed through your veins, you felt warmth blossoming in you at the same time. It was like the void was an actual person, politely giving you some form of relief from the hell you've been subjected to for over a decade and a half. It was so welcoming, not terrifying like you initially thought it was. When your fingertips grazed its surface it felt freezing to the touch, yet you felt the staticky power it was showing you. In that split moment of touching it, you had already accepted the power it held over you. 

A hand softly slapped your cheek, "c'mon, (y/n). Talk to me." Your eyes drifted lazily to your twin. He was extremely pale, his eyes frantically searching your face for any sign of responsiveness. When you looked at him, he visibly relaxed. "It was so… so beautiful, Schlatt."

"Yeah, what the actual fuck did you just say? You almost just- just died for good dumbass." He looked at you incredulously, you could just see the cogs in his brain working hard to process what the hell he was seeing. 

You looked back at Wilbur, he had stopped struggling slightly and was instead looking at you with a hint of confusion shining through the crazed daze. Mexican Dream tilted his head, the mask skewing slightly to the side of his face. "Thank you, Wilbur. You've shown me that there's… there's more to this hellhole than suffering. There's beauty in the darkness." His struggling had come to a complete halt, now staring at you with the most confusion you've ever seen from him. You also saw a very small hint of fear from deep within his irises.

A calloused hand gripped your chin and forced you to look back at your twin. "What are you on," he hissed lowly, "the stuff that's comin outta your mouth right now is actually batshit insane. He almost just permanently murked you and you're fucking thanking him." 

"I haven't felt this at ease in nearly two decades. I feel ethereal, Schlatt, and it's all thanks to him." You let your eyes drift over to Wilbur. Giving him a content smile, you nodded your thanks at him.

The next few days went by tensely for the others, eyeing your every move and keeping you away from the ledge. You had only peered over the ledge once since then, it was just so alluring to you. It was nothing, yet everything at the same time. Mexican Dream had pulled you back to the opposite end of the room by your horns. The part that disturbed the three men was that you said absolutely nothing about it. You didn't even struggle against it, you just laid limp and let it happen. 

With each passing second you spent away from the void, the feeling of utter peace was rapidly draining from your body; instead being replaced by icy fear, paranoia, and the realization that you were almost completely swallowed whole by the void. 

After coming back to your senses, you didn't allow anybody near you. Your instincts going haywire and screaming that they were going to hurt you if they came close. The last time Schlatt tried touching you, you damn near took his finger off. They didn't bother trying to approach you anymore, instead glancing at you from the corners of their eyes. Wilbur was perhaps the one you feared the most, you knew that if he didn't hesitate to toss you away the first time, he would surely do it a second time. He spent most of his time staring at you, you didn't know if he was zoned out or not.

Everybody was against you, you knew it. You just knew it. They were plotting to toss you back into the void. That thing- or was it an entity? Whatever it was held a power over you that you didn't know was possible. That trance that it put you in, the craving you felt, was something that was repeating like a broken record in your mind. You could still feel the void calling out to you, it was terrifying. 

You spent most of the time huddled in your corner staring at the fingers that had grazed the textured nothingness. You could still feel the buzzing and popping of the power on your fingertips, that inky residue staining your skin wouldn't come off. No matter how hard you scrubbed, scratched, or scraped, it would not leave your body. It was freezing.

The oncoming train screeching to a gradual stop was perhaps the only thing you fully acknowledged outside of your safety bubble in days. You watched in shock as it stopped at the platform. The doors opened with a fwoosh, fog pouring out onto the smooth stone floors. 

Out stepped Dream, the smile etched into his cracked mask sent chills to your core. Next to him was… was another Wilbur? How in the name of Ender was that even possible? 

This Wilbur was different though. This one was desaturated. This one didn't have an insane glint in his eyes, this one had grief shimmering in the tears that steamed on his cheeks. This one was broken compared to the well established man against the wall. This one was defenseless. 

Dream shoved him to the center of the room, the man falling to his hands and knees. Sobs escaped his mouth as steam left his skin and drifted along the sides of his face before dissolving into the air. 

"Got a new plaything for you guys, this one isn't as… fun as Wilbur is though." Dream's head turned towards you before it tilted. "What happened there? Did our dear little (y/n) get too close to the void?" 

"They are none of your concern, pandejo," Mexican Dream seethed at his counterpart from his position next to the train. "Why are you even here, man?"

"Oh, I'm just here to make a trade. I'm afraid that I'll have to give you guys Ghostbur here in exchange for Wilbur."

Wilbur stared at him with pure hope and glee springing up in his eye for the first time in over a decade. "Really?" 

Dream chuckled, "yes, really. What, do you really think I'd lie to you?" 

"I don't know, ya smiley freak. You've been known to fuck people over." Schlatt scoffed, his ear flicking in annoyance. 

"I'm telling the truth this time. Wilbur, come with me." 

Stars shone in his eyes as he reveled in the sight of the open train doors. He followed the masked man with a skip in his step, ecstatic giggles leaving his mouth as he boarded. 

Anger flooded you as you purse your lips together and you darted towards the train. The doors were closing already, if you could just- 

The door shut with a clank, blocking you from freedom. Your clenched fists banged against the window, glowering at the sight of Wilbur's happiness and Dream looking at you with a wave.

"You fucking bastard! Take me, he doesn't deserve it! He threw his goddamned life away, you're wasting your time with him!" Your angry shouts were ignored by the two however as the train once again started moving with a small hiss. 

A frustrated scream left your mouth as you pummeled the iron with your fists as it moved. If only you could find a train car to jump onto- 

Now. You leapt from the platform towards the junction between two of the train cars. However, your leap of faith was set to a halt midair by Schlatt holding your upper arms. You thrashed against him, desperate to get back to the land of the living, desperate to leave this godforsaken hell called the afterlife, but once again, you were torn away from what you were trying to achieve. 

You fell limp as you watched the last train car pass the platform and disappear down the tracks and into the void. The next possible time it would show it’s face would be in a few months if you were lucky. You let him take you back to your corner, your feet limply being drug against the floor. After you were plopped back down, you stared at the clone of your ex. You were pretty sure Dream said that his name was ‘Ghostbur’. What a strange name, yet you supposed that it was fitting for Wilbur’s apparition. 

“Are ya done with your little ‘moment’, (y/n)?” Schlatt was kneeling in front of you, his hands prepared to grab you if you made a run for it. Though his tone was annoyed, you could detect the very small worried undertone of his voice. 

You nodded and watched as he took a seat next to you, also staring at the newcomer. This is the closest he’s sat next to you in years. 

“...What do you think of the clone over there?” You hummed to yourself, “he looks pathetic, but I think that might be the only thing he and Wilbur share.” 

Mexican Dream took a seat next to you, slinging an arm over your shoulders. Normally, you would’ve shrugged him off, but you were too emotionally drained to do so. “Si, he does look kinda weak. But I think our new hombre here has promise.” 

“Promise for what?” Schlatt snorted. Mexican Dream hesitated, “...I don’t know. This is gonna be interesting, mis amigos.” 

“The party’s just begun, boys. Buckle up, this is gonna be a wild fucking ride.” You mused to them, unsure of what the future would hold with the newcomer. Though after a couple of years, you were sure you were going to hate him; that is if he’s nothing like his clone. Ender help you if he’s anything like Wilbur. 

As you stared at the broken man, you couldn’t help but wonder: why did he get to go back? As far as you were concerned, psychopaths like him do not deserve a second chance at life. If anything, it should be you boarding that train. It should be you getting a second chance. He was the one that so readily threw his life away while you had yours ripped away from you.

One continuous thought was circling in your mind: why couldn’t it have been me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wrung your hands together as you anxiously waited for Tommy, Ghostbur, and Friend outside of Pandora’s Vault. Ranboo and Tubbo sat next to you in the grass, giving you silent comfort with their presence. You were mainly worried for your boyfriend, his worst fear was Dream using the resurrection book on him. You had calmed him down from a panic attack prior to meeting up with the teenagers, begging him to let you go in his place. Of course, Ghostbur being the caring and brave soul he was, wove you off and ensured that he’d be okay. 

When you saw someone emerging from the portal, you leapt to your feet and steadied your head on your shoulders before you examined the people emerging. Except you only saw a human and a sheep, no ghost. 

Tommy looked pale and on the verge of tears as he led Friend towards you. Before he spoke, he used his sleeve to wipe at his tears. 

“Hey, Tommy! How did it- where’s Ghostbur?” The enderman hybrid stretched his usually slouched back to peer at the portal, keen eyes searching for any sign of movement. 

“I think he’s dead… He’s dead!” 

Tubbo tilted his head and looked up at the blond in confusion, “well, yeah. He’s a ghost. Of course he’s dead.” Ranboo nodded in agreement, “yeah, he can’t die again. That just isn’t possible.”

You said nothing (not like you could in the first place, your head wasn’t connected to your body), looking into Tommy’s eyes inquisitively. They were chock full of panic, grief, and fear, staring down at the lead in his clenched hands. 

“No, no you don’t understand, it’s not that he’s dead… it’s that Wilbur’s back.”

“Hold on, the Wilbur that blew up L’Manberg? That Wilbur?” Ranboo peered down at him incredulously. “Yes! C’mon, he- we gotta get to L’Manberg.” 

He spun around and led Friend towards L’Manberg, walking quickly with a purpose. You, Ranboo, and Tubbo followed. You hugged your head close to your chest, your eyes peeking over your arms. It was always something you’ve done whenever you were scared or worried about something. You heard stories about Wilbur from your nephew, if the stories of his insanity terrified you, you’d hate to see the man in person. 

“I was about to kill Dream, and- and Ghostbur died. Dream revived Wilbur… Fuck!” Tommy walked faster, L’Manberg far off in the distance. With one hand, you grabbed the blond’s attention and finger spelled, ‘are you serious? He’s actually gone?’

“Yes! How many times do I have to explain this?! Ghostbur isn’t with us anymore and Wilbur’s back. Wilbur’s back and we’re absolutely fucked.” He turned on his heel and resumed his beeline towards the crater in the wall. No, he couldn’t be gone. This was just a cruel prank they were pulling on you, right? 

Tubbo put a comforting hand on your shoulder, giving you a small sympathetic smile. You leaned into his touch slightly and carried on, stepping into the makeshift staircase behind Tommy. 

You moved your arms to cover your eyes as you stepped aside to make room for the other two teenagers. You heard a voice; it sounded exactly like Ghostbur’s voice, yet it sounded... off. You however remained hopeful and uncovered your eyes. 

The man that stood there certainly wasn’t your boyfriend. Everything about him was just so wrong. The emotion in his eyes, his clothing, his smile, his stance, his hair, everything. This was a completely different person. This was Wilbur Soot. 

“Hello again.” His eyes flicked around your group, his gaze lingering on you for longer than the rest. You noticed that he was staring at your neck, but that was okay. You were used to it; everybody did that. What you weren’t used to was the revulsion that flashed in his eyes. The eyes that once lovingly stared at you and reassured you that he’d love you even with your… condition were now filled with disgust. 

That was what broke you, the tears that you tried to hold in came streaming out like a waterfall. Stinging pain hit you as the water worked its way through the cloth of your uniform onto your arms, leaving steam floating upwards towards the cave ceiling. You phased through Ranboo’s body and made a mad dash towards your sister’s house. You needed her, you could feel a panic attack brewing inside you. Usually you would hate to be a bother to your older sister and Ghostbur would always calm you down, but now he’s…

You pushed that thought aside and focused completely on getting to Puffy’s house in the distance. You phased through the door without a thought to knock, frantically beginning your search for Puffy. 

You looked everywhere, but you couldn’t find her. Unable to cope any longer, you fell to your knees in the middle of the living room and hugged your head to your chest, your face being pushed against your uniform. Your shoulders shook with silent painful sobs, the only sound in the room being the sizzling of your skin. 

Why couldn’t it have been you? It should be Ghostbur standing there in that cavern, not Wilbur. This was completely your fault, you should’ve gone instead of him. You should’ve volunteered quicker than he did, you shouldn’t have let him talk you into it with his soothing words. Now because of your complete and utter cowardice, he was stuck in the afterlife once again. You were never going to see him any time soon. Your other half was ripped away from you because of your inaction. 

Between sobs, your lips repeatedly formed the same phrase: why couldn’t it have been me?

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[connordavidscamera]

A Jealous Household | Connor Brashier

A/n: listen, I know it says y/n, but we all know it’s written about me, right? Okay, just wanna put that out there lol

Summary: Shawn and Brian want to have a party, but this party causes a few problems for Connor and y/n

Warnings: angst, underage drinking (for US standards, at least), pining

Word count: 7.5k, she’s a long one

***

“You want to have a party? When?” Y/n asks, closing her book and setting it in her lap.

“This weekend,” Shawn nods. “And it won’t be a big thing, I promise. Maybe fifteen, twenty people.”

“Thirty or forty, max,” Brian interjects.

I can’t help but laugh at that, neither can she as she says. “You know we can’t even fit thirty or forty people in the condo, right?”

“I know that, but that’s why we’ll have some of them in the backyard too.”

“So what’s the party even for?” She asks, leaning into my side. On instinct, I wrap my arm around her shoulders. 

They both shrug, “A house warming party? Does that still count if we’ve lived here for almost two months?” Shawn questions. 

She shrugs, “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t see why we couldn’t have one. We just have to be considerate of our neighbors. And nobody’s allowed in my room. If there’s alcohol, I’m not chancing anyone going into my room for a sloppy fuck.”

Shawn laughs, “So your sloppy fuck is gonna be in Connor’s room then?”

I roll my eyes at the comment. Shawn and Brian love to tease me about my crush on y/n. They have since the beginning. Shawn’s taunts are light hearted, but they’re plentiful now that we all live together. Brian’s at times feel almost malicious. But Brian also isn’t aware that I still have a crush on her, he thinks the feeling has passed. It definitely hasn’t. If anything, being in such tight quarters with her at all times has made me like her even more. Watching her move so effortlessly around our home - seeing her do her nightly routine, watching her polish her nails every Sunday like clockwork. I have undeniably fallen even deeper in love with her in just these few short weeks we’ve lived together and it’s killing me.

It’s killing me because we still haven’t talked about what she said to me a couple weeks ago when we were falling asleep together. I don’t even know if she remembers saying what she did. And I could have misinterpreted her words, I mean, she was falling asleep, her words were slurring. I could have misunderstood. At least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself every time the memory pops into my head. Which is about six times a day for the past three weeks.

Y/n gasps and tosses her book at him, "Asshole!"

He laughs, picking the book up off the floor from where it ricocheted off his chest. "I'm kidding. Kidding. But it's cool?"

She shrugs, "Yeah, whatever. Go nuts."

"Yes!" Shawn pumps his fist in the air before high fiving Brian. 

"We gotta get alcohol."

"Ah, wait. Before you two go broke buying drinks for the party, remember that we have bills to pay. So save us all a headache and make it BYOB."

Brian snaps and points at her with a click of his tongue. "This is why we keep you around."

She laughs, "Oh is that why?"

"Indeed," he nods.

"Okay, well can I have my book back, please?"

"Yeah, here," Shawn leans over the coffee table to hand it to her before disappearing to his room, Brian heading to the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" I ask, not looking up from my phone. I can sense that the wheels are turning in her head and she sighs dramatically.

"I don't remember which page I was on."

I force myself not to laugh. "243."

“Hmm?” She flips to that page and looks up at my side profile. “How’d you know that?”

I shrug, “I always memorize the page you’re on before you close the book, just in case.”

She smiles sheepishly and presses a kiss to my shoulder. “You’re cute,” she whispers before turning her attention back to the page in front of her and resting her head in the crook of my neck.

I squeeze her shoulder hoping she doesn’t look up and notice the growing blush on my cheeks, “You’re cuter.”

---

“Do you have any idea who’s coming to this?” Y/n asks as we move a cooler out to the backyard.

I shake my head, “Not really. I think Matt and his girlfriend, honestly, I have no idea. It’s Shawn, so there’s bound to be more people than we’re anticipating.”

“Lots of girls then.”

“Why do you say that?” I ask, setting the cooler down, providing her with my undivided attention (which she has always had). 

“He’s making a name for himself out here. Playing a few more gigs than at home. I noticed at the last one, he’s got a few groupies.”

I chuckle, “Oh really?”

She nods, “There were like five girls there just holding onto his every word. It was actually pretty cool to watch. But he got nervous. Started fidgeting with his necklace, so I had to get him out of there, which of course resulted in death glares from his adoring fans.”

“What? What do you mean? Death glares towards you?”

Y/n laughs, fixing the collar of her shirt that’s falling off her shoulder. “Yeah. I think they thought there was more there than there is,” she shrugs, “And if looks could kill, I would be dead five times over.”

I shake my head, I don’t like that thought, and I say as much. “I don’t like that thought.”

“What? Shawn having groupies?”

“No, girls staring daggers at you because you’re friends with him.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

I know it’s not, but the thought of someone not liking her is appalling to me. “I still don’t like it.”

“Is it because if something happened to me you’d be left to live alone with Shawn and Brian? Because that would make me sad too.”

I force a laugh, “That, and I’d be bored without you.”

She nods understandingly, “I get it. I am the light of your life,” she teases.

You are, I think to myself. “Yeah, yeah,” I say instead, stepping forward, wrapping my arm around her waist. “Let’s get inside, it’s hot as hell out here.”

Shawn and Brian are sitting on the floor in front of the TV, trying to get the wifi hooked up to it. We barely got wifi installed at the beginning of the week, but we’ve all been so busy, we haven’t had the chance to get everything hooked up to it. 

“It’s not working!” Brian complains, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“Well try again! That’s what the router says.” Shawn counters back.

“Let me see that,” Brian snatches the router out of his hands. “Dumbass! You’re reading me the product number! Not the fucking password!”

Y/n and I hide our faces to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter, but we both break when Shawn pouts when Brian puts the router back in his hands after successfully connecting the TV.

“Oh, what’s with the pouty face, rockstar?” y/n asks.

“Brian’s a dick,” he mutters, which causes Brian to punch his shoulder.

“Ow!” Shawn exclaims, reaching to hold his arm. “That hurt!”

“It was supposed to. Want me to do it again?”

“Craigen,” y/n shakes her head and before I can protest, she’s out of my grasp and I suddenly feel lonely without her body next to mine. “No more fighting.”

“Just one time in the face,” he tries to reason. “Just once. Come on, it’s a long time coming. I’ve wanted to punch him in the face since we were kids.”

“No,” she squats down behind Shawn, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, leaning her head against his. I watch Shawn fall into her touch and I’m envious of him. Even though she holds onto me in the exact same way, almost daily, she isn’t right now and it makes me long for it. Especially when I watch her start to massage his scalp and he hums because her head scratches feel like you’re in heaven. “You can’t punch him in the face. That’s the money maker,” she squishes his cheeks with her free hand and speaks in a mock baby voice, “And if he’s got a black eye how will he charm girls with his pretty face tonight?”

Shawn laughs and pushes her hand away, but he reaches back and pats her calf. “Sit down,” he says and she obliges, her legs spreading and bracketing Shawn’s. He falls back into her and takes her hand that was just squeezing him and brings it to his lips to kiss her knuckles before bringing it to his hair as well. “More head scratches.”

She rolls her eyes, but continues anyway. “So fucking needy.”

He hums, “Could fall asleep like this.”

She hums too and looks up at me with a smile that melts my heart, “Connor does all the time.”

I nod, “I do. Feels good. Your hands are magic.”

“How magic? Like you could get me off in three seconds?”

“Brian!” I growl. Yep, we can always count on him to ruin the mood.

But y/n’s laughing, “I’m sure I could, I mean, if you ask your first girlfriend, you only last five so I don’t think it’ll be difficult,” she answers.

Shawn’s hysterical in y/n’s arms, as am I as I fall to the floor, clutching my stomach. But Brian? Brian is livid.

“I can’t believe she told you that! She said she wouldn’t tell anyone!”

This only makes Shawn and I laugh harder. “Wait, did that actually happen?” I ask between fits. “Craigen, come on,” I groan when he’s silent. “Five seconds?”

“It was our first time!”

“And last, apparently,” y/n comments.

“Shut up!” he groans. “Fuck, I can’t stand you.”

She nods, “I know.”

“No, but seriously, when did she tell you that?”

Y/n breaks out into a wide grin. “She didn’t. But you just did. Thanks for that.”

He’s speechless. Absolutely speechless. And his face is so red; I don’t know if it’s in anger or embarrassment, but either way, Shawn pipes up. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, my first time I only lasted like twenty seconds.”

“I lasted fifteen,” I confirm, but I immediately regret it when y/n’s face morphs into one of confusion. 

Oh, oh fuck. I never told her that I-

“Wait, you’ve had sex?”

“You didn’t know?” Shawn questions, looking back at her.

She shakes her head, “I guess not.”

I sigh and scratch the back of my head, “Yeah. It was… during that time where we weren’t really talking,” I mumble.

She nods slowly, scoffing, and I can’t quite pin her emotion, but it’s definitely a cross between anger and… is that jealousy? “Ah, good ol’ McKenzie,” she mutters under her breath. She exhales deeply out her nose and focuses her attention back to playing with Shawn’s hair. 

“I would have told-”

“We weren’t talking. I know,” she cuts me off. “And it’s none of my business. It wasn’t then, and it’s not now either.”

“Oh, right. Okay,” I nod once. “New subject.”

---

We’re tiptoeing around each other the rest of the day. Or more so, I’m tiptoeing around her. She somehow is coming off as completely unbothered, but at the same time completely bothered. I don’t know what to make of this situation. I don’t know if I should apologize for not telling her, or if she even wants me to apologize. I don’t know and it’s killing me not knowing what I can do to make this better for us tonight.

I’m helping Brian pour more ice into the cooler we have in the kitchen when she walks out of her room. “Where’s Shawn?” she asks.

I look up at her and my heart stops for a moment. She’s wearing red, my heart never knows what to do when she wears that color. Does it stop? Does it speed up? Yes. 

“He went to his car to get the beer we got this afternoon,” Brian answers, closing the lid. 

SHe nods, “I’ll go help him.”

I watch as she leaves, not taking a full breath until the door shuts behind her. 

“She still mad at you?” 

I shake my head, “I don’t know. I don’t even know if she is mad at me.”

“Well, it’s y/n. You kept something from her for almost three years. I’m willing to bet she’s a little upset.”

I sigh, “Yeah, I know. But I mean, how was I supposed to tell her. She would barely even look at me during that time, so -”

“Yeah, because McKenzie was a bitch to her. How was she supposed to look at you when she was practically threatened or called out or god know what when you weren’t listening. I’d hate to know what she actually said when none of us were there to listen.”

I exhale deeply. I know my ex was the worst to her - she’s the entire reason y/n and I weren’t talking. She told me not to hang out with her as much, so I didn’t (also because I was trying to prove to Brian that I didn’t have feelings for y/n anymore. That was a mistake.) “So, I should apologize.”

Brian shrugs, “We all know you’re gonna apologize. You can’t stand it when she’s mad at you. Honestly, we can’t either. We have no idea what to do when you two aren’t talking. And since we all live together now, it’ll be even more awkward for you two to not talk.”

I nod, “Yeah. I know. I’ll apologize later. You should go get ready. I can finish up out here.”

Brian claps my shoulder, “Thanks, man. I’ll be quick.” He disappears at the same time Shawn and y/n walk in the front door with the drinks. I make my way over to them.

“Here, let me get that for you,” I tell her, reaching to take the cases from her hands.

“Oh, it’s okay. I got it. You want these inside or out, rockstar?”

“In the fridge, in the back. Gotta keep the good stuff for us.” Shawn hands me a pottle of vodka, “Put this in the freezer? I got it for y/n, I’m gonna make her a new drink.”

“You’re gonna risk giving her alcohol poisoning?” I question, raising one eyebrow at him.

He rolls his eyes, “I’ve gotten better at making drinks, dickhead.”

I laugh and hold my hands up in surrender, “Alright, sure.”

“I’m gonna put these in my room for now, and then I’m gonna get ready.”

“Brian’s in the shower, you can use my bathroom,” I say as y/n moves past us to the kitchen. 

“Good looking out, thanks.”

And now it’s just me and her. It’s like any normal day. So why is my heart beating so quickly?

I watch her move some things around in the fridge to make room for the drinks, and I can’t help but smile. “You look pretty tonight,” I tell her, leaning against the counter.

She looks over at me and smiles softly, “Thanks.”

I clear my throat, “Hey, y/n?”

“Hmm?” she turns her attention back to her task at hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” she asks, closing the fridge.

“For not telling you that I slept with her.”

“Oh,” she nods. “It’s fine. It really is not any of my business who you have and haven’t slept with.”

“Well maybe not, but you are my best friend, and we tell each other everything. I know if we were on better terms when you were dating Noah, you would have told me that you-”

“I didn’t tell you because we didn’t sleep together.”

“What?” I stare at her with wide eyes. 

“Noah and I didn’t sleep together.”

“But I thought-”

“You assumed. But no, it didn’t happen. I wasn’t ready. I mean, I barely let him kiss me, so how the hell was I gonna sleep with him?”

I nod because I don’t know what else to do or even say. She’s right, I just assumed that they had sex because he always had his hands all over her. I almost scoff at the thought. I hated watching him hold her in the hallway, his hands in her back pockets as he pulled her closer to him. Seeing them together everyday made my heart clench every time because it should have been me. I wonder if that’s how she felt when I had a girlfriend. 

“Look, it doesn’t matter, okay? So, let’s just drop it. It’s not like I’m mad you had sex, I was just surprised to find out this way, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I get it. And I would have told you sooner, but there really was never a time, you know? And it was just with her a couple times, nothing since.”

“Connor, you really don’t need to explain it to me. Actually, if we could just stop talking about her all together, that’d be great.”

“No, yeah. Of course. It’s dropped.”

She nods, “Okay, good. So, you should go get dressed.”

“What do you mean? I’m wearing this,”  I gesture to my torn t-shirt and my sweatpants with paint stains up and down the legs from when we painted the living room a few weeks ago. I’m totally joking, but I want to see her reaction anyway.

She looks me up and down and scoffs, “Yeah, no. Go change. You’re not wearing that.”

I pout dramatically, “Why not?”

“One, those pants are a mess. Two, you know you run hot when you drink, so why would you wear sweatpants? And three, that shirt is literally falling apart. You are not wearing that, go change.”

I can’t fight the smile that tugs at my lips because just like that we’re back to normal. “Okay, I’m going. Do you have something you’d like for me to wear?”

“Yes, your black pants with the white tank top and your peachy cream shirt. The one you wore for our graduation party.”

I nod, “Yes, ma’am. You wanna do my hair?”

“Come find me when you’re done, and I’ll see what I can do.”

---

I’m talking to my friend Will out in the backyard as the party becomes bigger than anticipated. Yeah, definitely called that situation. 

“Bro, I wish I would have saved up more so I could have gotten a place like you guys did. I emailed my roommate last week to see what he wanted to get for the dorm and he straight up said, ‘I don’t plan to be roommates long, so nothing.’”

I can’t help but laugh, “Hey, we’d take you in over Brian, but he’d throw a bitch fit.”

He laughs too, twisting the cap off his beer. “So what’s it like living with y/n? Everything good?”

“Yeah, everything’s great. She knows how to run a household. She made a chore chart that goes on the fridge. Shawn had to beg her to take it down for the party because he was embarrassed.”

“Sounds like y/n. But that’s not what I meant.”

I take a swig of my beer and shrug, “There’s nothing else to say really. She’s nice to live with.”

“No progression between you two.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right, right. Because you’re not in love with her, right.”

“Will, come on. Not tonight.”

“Okay, okay. I get it. We’re not in a teasing mood tonight.”

Or ever. Will is a great friend of mine, and I would take a bullet for him, but he asks me for y/n updates every time we’re together, and I never have any for him. When I told him we were moving in together, he was stoked, but less so when I told him we were moving with Shawn and Brian too. 

He - like Shawn - is an avid supporter of us getting together. Will found out about my so-called crush one night in high school, actually a couple weeks after my breakup with McKenzie. Y/n and I still weren’t talking. I was trying to mend things and  she was trying to push me further away. I don’t remember much of the night he found out because I got shit faced drunk, but I somehow admitted to him that I had feelings for her and he’s convinced himself that he knows the biggest secret in the world. He treats it like he holds the key to the universe. If anyone wants us together more than I do, it’s him.

“Just don’t want to risk her hearing anything,” I tell him. “I already made things awkward earlier.”

“What? How?”

I shake my head, “Let it slip that Kenz and I slept together.”

He blanches. “She didn’t know?!”

I shake my head, “No. I never found the right time to tell her. But she keeps saying it isn’t her business, so I don’t know if that means she’s hurt by it or if I’m imagining it because right now it seems like she doesn’t really care. But - I don’t know, I want her to, I guess.” 

He smirks, “She cares.”

“I don’t know,” I mutter, looking inside, lifting my bottle up to my lips, but halting when I see her standing near the sliding glass door with - “Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“What?” Will asks, turning toward the door. “What hap - is that? Wait, is that Noah? What is he doing here?”

My jaw clenches, just like the grip around the bottle in my hand. “Better question, why the hell is he so close to her?”

Will sucks in a breath, “Are they still friends?”

I don’t answer him because I don’t know. I’m 99% sure they aren’t, but that 1% that says yes is simply because I’m watching them right now and she’s hugging him and letting him kiss her cheek before he pulls away. “I didn’t think they were. She hasn’t brought him up since the breakup.”

I don’t take my eyes off them as I start chugging the rest of my beer. It was still pretty full, but at this moment, I need to finish it because I need something stronger. 

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” I mutter, tossing my bottle in the trashcan near the cooler. I walk inside, but neither of them notice me. I shake my head and walk to Shawn’s room where he hid most of the hard stuff. I find the bottle of tequila that he stashed because he knew if he put it out, it’d go fast. I twist the top off and take, maybe a little more than a shot. I cough into my elbow when I pull the bottle back because wow he got the strong stuff.

Shaking my head, I close the bottle back up and sneak out of Shawn’s room. When I enter the living room, they’re still standing there talking. Or, he’s talking, she’s nodding at something he’s saying. I click my tongue and walk into the kitchen to grab another beer. SHould I be mixing my alcohol? No, I should not. Is that going to stop me? No, it is not. 

My girl’s ex-boyfriend is over there talking to her and touching her like they’re best buds and I can’t stand it. I can’t stand him. 

I still remember the day she told us that she was going on a date with him. 

All four of us are sitting in our usual booth at the diner, everything seems to be going like it always has. Just us four, laughing and making our weekend plans. The difference though is that y/n and I aren’t sitting shoulder to shoulder right now. She’s pushed against the window, and I’m toward about as far left as I can get without it being noticeable, or falling. 

“So, we’re aiming for Saturday afternoon, right? Y/n, you’ll ride with me?” Shawn asks.

“Oh,” she sits up straight, “um, could we maybe do it on Sunday instead? I kind of already have plans on Saturday.”

“What?” Brian furrows his brows, “Without us?”

She nods, “Yeah,” she takes in a sharp breath beside me. “I um… I kinda, I have a date.”

At that exact moment, our heads whip in her direction - I’m pretty sure if I turned any faster I would have given myself whiplash.

“A date?” I ask as calmly as I can.

“With who?” Shawn questions.

She shrugs, “You know that guy Noah? I have him in like all of my AP classes? He asked me out after class this morning.”

I don’t think I can clench my jaw any harder. Noah. I hate him. I’ve never personally met him, but I hate him. “Cool,” I mutter, turning my head back to the table to reach for my drink. 

“Well?” Shawn prompts. “What are you gonna do? Where is he taking you?”

She clasps her hands in her lap and shrugs again. “I don’t know. He hasn’t told me. Said he wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Ooh, romantic,” Brian teases.

“You hate surprises,” I mumble into my cup.

Y/n clears her throat and shifts uncomfortably in her seat. “It’s just one date. Not a big deal.”

“Okay, sure,” Brian says. “So Sunday then?”

“And you’ll tell us all about it?”

“Sure.”

There are very few times that I wish I was deaf, but that day was one of them. I didn’t sleep that whole night. I couldn’t. And the night of her date? Forget it. I was up all night wondering what was happening. Did he hold her hand? Did he hug her? Did that bastard take her first kiss? The first kiss that was supposed to belong to me? 

And right now, as I watch him reach for her elbow again, I decide, fuck it. I don’t care if I look like a jealous asshole, I’m taking my girl away from him. I stride over to them and place my hand on her hip, “Hey, baby. Can you help me find the bottle opener? I can’t remember what drawer you put it in the other day, and I think my eyes are failing me.”

She shakes her head, “Um, yeah. It should be in the drawer closest  to the fridge.”

“I checked there, please, come help me look.”

She rolls her eyes and turns back to Noah who is staring daggers at my hand on her hip. I smirk. “Noah, it was good catching up with you. I’ll find you later. I’m gonna help him out.”

He looks back up at her and forces a smile, “Sure. Sounds good. Save me dance?”

Over my dead body. “Come on, baby,” I say, guiding her toward the kitchen.

She steps in front of me, mumbling a couple excuse me’s to the people blocking the kitchen. Then she b-line’s to the drawer closer to the fridge, which I definitely did not check because I wasn’t really looking for the bottle opener. I just needed an excuse to get her away from Noah.

“Here,” she holds it out to me. “Wait, I thought Shawn got twist tops.” She takes the bottle from my hand and laughs, “Bub, it twists off.” She says, taking the cap off the bottle. 

“Oh,” I chuckle. I knew it was a twist top, again, I just needed an excuse to get her away. “Whoopsies?” 

She puts the bottle opener back in the drawer and leans against the counter. “You having fun?”

I shrug, “I’m alright. So um… Noah’s here.”

Y/n nods slowly, “Yeah, he is.”

“Kinda weird that he showed up after we just talked about him,” I mutter.

“Yeah, I guess. He just tagged along with one of his friends.”

I nod, “Mhm. You two looked pretty cozy.”

“Excuse me?” 

“Nothing. Just, I mean, I haven’t heard you talk about him since the breakup,” I take a sip of the beer in my hand. “I didn’t realize you two were still so close.”

She tilts her head at me, “We’re not. We were just catching up. He didn’t know that I lived here too.”

“Uh-huh, so you haven’t talked to him recently?”

She scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s with the third degree, huh?”

“You didn’t answer my question,” I mutter.

“No, Connor. I haven’t talked to him recently. In fact, I haven’t talked to him since the breakup. But what does that matter? Why does it matter who I do and do not talk to?”

“I just think it’s a little strange that he came here tonight.”

“Well, I didn’t invite him, if that’s what you’re insinuating. He came with a friend. He didn’t even know it was our party, or our house. He just showed up.”

“So he crashed it. Classy.”

“What is your deal?” She pushes herself off the counter and stands face to face with me, her forehead creasing as she glares at me. I want to smooth the crease and tell her not to do that because she’ll get a headache, but I refrain. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please,” she scoffs, “you’re acting like a jealous boyfriend! Newsflash, Connor, you’re not my boyfriend.”

I recoil, because sure I know I’m not, but the words spew from her lips like venom. “I know that.”

“Do you? Because right now it doesn’t seem like you do. Now unless I completely missed the part where you asked me to be your girlfriend, you have no right to be upset over me talking to my ex-boyfriend.”

“He was an ass to you then.”

“How would you know?! We weren’t even talking then.”

“Because you didn’t want to! I was still trying to fix things with us but you were pushing me away.”

“No, I wasn’t pushing you away. I was protecting myself from getting hurt again.”

“But it wasn’t me, that was Kenzie, and -”

She groans in frustration, “Why are we talking about her again? Why? I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

Y/n pinches the bridge of her nose. “Look, you’re my best friend, and I love you. But you have no right to be upset about Noah. You are not my boyfriend -”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because you aren’t! You like to act like you are sometimes, but you’re not.”

“Do you want me to be?!” I exclaim, setting my bottle down.

She scoffs, shaking her head. “Not like this,” she says quietly, pushing past me.

“Y/n!” I call after her, but she ignores me. I, however, can’t ignore the eyes that are on me.

---

“He’s jealous?” Alessia asks, leaning back on her hands. We’re sitting on the grass in the backyard. It’s quieter out here, and far less crowded. “Does he even have a right to be?”

“That’s what I’m saying! He’s my best friend, but sometimes he acts like he’s my boyfriend and I just - I’m over it.”

She sighs, “You’re over him acting like your boyfriend.”

“Yes,” I say.

“Because you want him to actually be your boyfriend.”

“What? No! No,” I shake my head, “that’s not it.”

Les smiles, “Honey, it’s obvious the way you two look at each other. And you can deny it because you’re best friends, you live together. You don’t want to risk the integrity of the friendship that you have. And that is totally reasonable, but you two need to discuss what you are to each other. Because it’s clear that in his mind, you’re a little bit more than just ‘best friends.’ And well, you’ve always wanted to be more, so what’s so wrong with him being that?”

I sigh and pick at the grass beside me, “I don’t know if he feels this way genuinely or if it’s because I’m closer now. We live together, it seems almost easy or convenient for him to develop some tiny crush because of the proximity.”

At this she laughs, “Oh, honey. That is definitely not it.”

“How do you know?”

“Because that boy has been in love with you since before I even met you guys. It’s written all over his face and if you took a second to just stop and -”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt, guys,” Shawn says, breathlessly, pushing his curls out of his face. “Y/n, Connor’s drunk off his ass, and I need your help”

I sit up, “Okay, How much did he drink?”

“Like, the entire bottle of tequila I had in my room, plus however many beers he had.”

I stand up, swatting at the backs of my legs to get off any dirt, “Is he throwing up?”

“No, he’s just asking for you.”

I nod and look back to Alessia, “We’ll talk later, Les?”

“Mhm, go take care of your boy.”

“Why did he drink so much?” I ask Shawn, following him toward the sliding glass door. 

He shrugs, “I asked him. He said you were mad at him.”

I roll my eyes, “Well yeah, he was being an ass. But it still doesn’t make sense.If he drinks every time I get upset with him, he’d be an alcoholic ”

“All I know is that he was asking for you,” Shawn says just as we find Connor sitting outside my bedroom door, nursing another beer bottle. 

I shake my head, “God, he knows not to be switching between alcohol.”

“Connor, buddy?” Shawn says, squatting down next to him. “I got her. Why don’t you give me that beer, eh?” He goes to take it from his hands, but Connor’s quick to move it, spilling a bit of it on his shirt in the process.

“No, this is mine. Get your own,” he slurs

I sigh and squat down next to him, too. “I think you’ve had enough, bub. Come on, let me have it.”

He looks at me with heavy eyes and he pouts, dramatically. “Y/n… you’re so pretty.”

“Connor,” I shake my head. 

“I love you in red. God, you look so good. Could never get,” he hiccups, “tired of looking at you.”

I blush, looking over at Shawn who’s still sitting with us. “Okay, come on. Let’s get up. We need to get you to bed.”

He nods slowly, “Whatever you want, baby.”

I take the drink out of his hand and set on the floor beside us. “Shawn, help me get him up.”

Shawn nods, “You got it.” He does most of the heavy lifting, but when Connor’s on his feet, he leans into me, hugging my waist, burying his head in my neck. 

“I’m so sorry, y/n. So sorry.”

“I know, come on now. We’re going to your room.”

He groans into my skin, but helps me and Shawn take him to his room as best as he can, only stumbling once when we round the corner. We push his bedroom door open and walk further into the room, plopping him down on the bed. 

“Thanks, Shawn. I got it from here.”

“You sure?” 

I nod, moving to grab his trash can from next to his desk. “Yeah, we’re good. Thanks for coming to get me.”

He nods, “Of course. Come get me if you need anything else.”

Connor groans as Shawn slams the door shut behind him. I sigh and move around the room, turning on his bedside lamp and going to his desk chair where his outfit from earlier is laid out. “Okay, bub, I’m gonna need you to help me out, alright? I need you to get out of your clothes, I’m gonna put you in pajamas, okay?”

He shakes his head, his pout even heavier than usual, eyes struggling to stay open. “Too tired. You do it.”

I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath. Of course he’s gonna be difficult right now. I shake my head, throwing his clothes beside him, “Can you stand up?”

He mumbles something incoherent, but I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere along the lines of “The room is spinning.”

“Fuck, Connor, why did you drink so much?” I grumble, moving to the floor to take his shoes off.

“You’re mad at me,” he whines.

“Yes, I am. You know your limits. What were you gonna do if this didn’t happen at the house, hmm?”

“M’sorry.”

I roll my eyes, “Okay, sit up,” I reach for his hands to help pull him to a sitting position. 

He makes an unnecessary amount of groaning sounds as he moves around to accommodate me.

I push his shirt off his shoulders, it’s almost damp, he’s sweating so much. I throw it to the side, I’ll put it in the laundry room when I go get him some pain meds in a little bit. I take hold of the hem of his tank top, “Arms up,” I pat his side and he obliges, looking up at me with a sad smile on his lips. “What’s wrong?” I ask him, tossing his tank top off to the side too.

“I’m sorry I got mad earlier. About Noah.”

I shake my head, “It’s fine. Lay back, lift your hips for me.”

He lays back, but his pout still remains on his face as I lean forward to unbutton his pants.

“What now?” I question softly, pulling down his zipper, “Hips up.”

He’s looking at me with such sad eyes and it’s killing me. “This isn’t how I wanted you to undress me for the first time.”

My breath hitches, “What?”

“Wanna make love to you,” he slurs. 

I almost choke on his words, “Connor, you’re drunk,” I shake my head, pulling his pants off him and grabbing his sweats to pull up his legs instead. I decide to forgo the shirt because he’s already sweating a lot, I don't want to make him even hotter. “You don’t know what you’re saying. I’m gonna go get you some water and pain meds. Stay here.” I move the trash can closer to him, “The trash is right next to you if you feel like you’re gonna get sick.

I pick up his discarded clothes from the floor and walk to the door and out the room before he can say anything else he doesn’t mean. After tossing them in the hamper in the laundry room, I squeeze past the group of people still congregating in the hallway. I slip into my room and grab some of my pain meds from my book bag and quickly slip out again to head to the kitchen which is also crowded. I mumble out a general excuse me, and go to the fridge to grab Connor a bottle of water. 

On my way back, I stop and go to his bathroom which is thankfully empty, and grab a hand towel and wet it under the faucet to hopefully cool him down a bit. When I’m back in his room, he’s laying face down on his bed and I stop for a minute, admiring his smooth skin, and the way the muscles in his shoulders tense up when he moves his arm above his head. It’s not fair. No one man should look this good. 

I shake my head, focusing back on the task at hand. I close the door behind me gently. “Okay, Connor. I need you to sit up just one more time to take these pills and then you can go to bed, yeah?”

He groans, “I think I drank too much, baby,” he mumbles, pushing himself up and I'm once again in awe of how his muscles move with him. 

I scratch at my scalp and nod, holding out the pills for him. “Yeah, I think you did, too.” He takes them in his hand and I sit next to him, uncapping the water bottle before handing it to him as well.

“Thank you,” he hiccups.

“You’re welcome.” I look down at my hands as he takes the pills. He goes to hand me the water bottle back but I shake my head, “You need to drink it all. We’re trying to avoid a hangover.”

He just holds the bottle in his lap, not moving to drink anymore of it, so I look back up at him only to find him already staring at me. 

“You okay?” I ask.

He hums and reaches forward. He runs his thumb under my eye, “You got an eyelash. I got it,” he mumbles, but he keeps his hand cradling the side of my face. 

My eyes search his tired ones, they’re glossed over, but they always get that way when he drinks, making his eyes seem just a little more blue than green. 

“Have I told you tonight that you look pretty?” he asks quietly. 

“Multiple times,” I confirm. 

“Good, because you are… so, so pretty.”

I lick my lips and watch his eyes move from my eyes to my lips and back. I take in a shallow breath as he starts to lean closer. His eyes closed as his face inches toward mine. I push him back gently just before his lips have the chance to connect with mine, and I mean just before because I could feel his breath against my mouth. “What are you doing?” I question.

“I was… I was trying to kiss you. Did you, I thought you wanted to - when we were laying in bed a couple weeks ago, you said you wanted me to kiss you.”

“Well, I… Connor,” I shake my head. I didn’t think he heard me when I said that. “Not like this. Not tonight. Not when you’re drunk and not thinking clearly.” I stand up, pacing slowly in front of him. “If you’re gonna kiss me, I want you to be sober, and to actually want to do it. Not just because we got in a fight earlier. I don’t want this to be something you do now and then completely forget about or ignore, or fuck, even worse, regret in the morning. I don’t want that. I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve to be led on by you again.”

“Again?” He asks, tilting his head at me. 

“Nevermind. I should go back out there, start cleaning up so it’s not so much tomorrow.”

“Wait, y/n, please. Stay here, please. Stay with me tonight.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I won’t try anything, I promise. Please, just stay?”

I sigh, “Just until you fall asleep.”

---

It’s nearing eleven in the morning when Shawn finally retreats from his room. He’s not nearly as hungover as I bet the other boys are going to be. If he’s even hungover at all, he doesn’t seem to be. 

He leans against the counter, watching me pull my second batch of cookies from the oven. “You’re stress baking,” he observes.

I scoff, “I made muffins too,” I nod in the direction of the counter in front of him where a plate of blueberry muffins sits. 

“Ooh,” he reaches forward and takes one, “Not that I like when you’re stressed, but this my favorite of your coping mechanisms.”

“For purely selfish, I presume.”

“Of course,” he says around a mouthful of muffin. “So,” he says after he swallows. “Does this sudden urge to bake have anything to do with what happened last night with Connor?”

I tense up at the memory of Connor leaning in to kiss me. Me pushing him away. “Maybe.”

“So what did happen after I left you two?”

“Nothing,” I shake my head.

“Well, the glorious smell of our kitchen and the spotless living room say otherwise.”

I close my eyes and rub my hands over my face. “He, god, he tried to kiss me.”

“What?” Shawn chokes. 

“Shh! You’ll wake them.”

“Oh please, Brain will be asleep until five. Nothing will wake him. He kissed you?! Well, how was it?”

“I said he tried. As in, I didn’t let him. I pushed him away before he could.”

“Why? Don’t you want him to?”

“Of course! But not like that! Not when he’s drunk and not himself. WHen he’s saying stupid things like he wants to make love to me, and that he wishes I was undressing him for the first time under different circumstances.”

“What? He said all of that?! Oh my god! Go, Connor!”

“No, not go Connor. Because he’s not going to remember any of this when he wakes up and I’m going to remember everything and have to pretend that he didn’t say anything or try to kiss me. And I’m stuck being led on once again, except this time he lives just down the hall and I have to see him everyday.”

Shawn sighs, “Okay, you’re right. So, what are you going to do?”

“Same thing I always do.”

He nods, “I’ll get my guitar.”

***

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[urlkssknt]

office shenanigans

assistant!nanami x boss!fem!reader (mentions of gojou)

warnings - nsfw content!!! oral (f receiving) inappropriate use of the workplace(?) p*ssy slapping fingering

a/n - this is very poorly written and not proofread but nanami kento makes me feral

A small knock alerted you of the presence of a certain stoic man, the one that had been occupying your thoughts, particularly the fantasies filled with lust. Kento nanami applied for the position as your assistant four years ago when you first got your high-earning job. He was a diligent worker, always ready to serve you to the best of his abilities, always ready to exceed your expectations. As you came to work with him, you couldn’t help but compare the men you took companionship to your loyal secretary. Kento had become your standard and it was impossibly hard to find anyone that met them.

“Ma’am, the man from last night is waiting for you,” the blond man stated in a bored tone, almost as if he was also bothered by the other male presence. Your eyebrow would have raised if you weren’t overcome with instant regret, you just had to ignore everyone’s warnings about Gojou Satoru. At least the dick was worth it, you thought to yourself.

In annoyance, you mutter under your breath, eyes closing as you pinched the skin of the bridge of your nose, “so fucking clingy.” The clear eyes of your secretary widened at the vulgar language escaping your pretty mouth. It was Kento's job to understand you, it only took him three months to realise that you wouldn’t settle down with any man you had a ‘relationship’ with, simply using them for your sexual needs. The longest you had been with a partner was for six months before calling it quits. Kento noticed that you got bored easily. He understood, more than anyone, that your current lifestyle was not suitable for a stable romantic relationship. It was just more simple to have a strict sexual relationship.

Kento walks over to your stiff figure, slumped over the large desk filled with documents after documents. You didn’t notice how close he was until soft words were spoken into your ears. Kento was so close you could smell the rich cologne he wore ripple off him, the scent went straight to your head, swirling your thoughts together into a puddle. A hand settled at the top of the leather seat whilst the other rested near your own, caging you between himself and the chair.

“Should I get rid of him for you?”

Slowly, you lifted your gaze up to the deep brown eyes staring back at you, there was a coy smile along Kento's face, the sight caused your brain to stop functioning for a moment. Has your assistant always been so attractive? Your eyes stopped on his sharp nose whilst sinful thoughts crawled to the front of your mind. God would you like to sit on his face.

A deep hum sounds from his throat, “hmm, would you like me to do that for you,” kento takes a pause, fully aware of the hungry lustrous look swimming in your eyes, a look he was more than familiar with, however you were far too professional to make a move on him, “ma’am?”

Thoughtlessly, all you could manage to do was nod at the diligent blond man. Your assistant left without another word to go follow out your demand, leaving as quickly as he came.

Finally, you were alone with your thoughts. A shaky breath slipped through your parted lips as an attempt to get rid of the dirty thoughts running through your mind. You couldn’t help imagining the muscles hidden underneath his crisp pristine white shirts. You would be lying if you didn’t wonder how it would feel to have Kento’s large hands wander along the expanse of your skin, squeezing at the flesh of your hips, as he takes you from behind, bending you across your desk, fucking you till your legs become sore and lose feeling. He didn’t have a girlfriend, that much you knew, so you felt no ounce of guilt for your fantasy, it also meant you won’t feel any guilt when you will touch yourself to the thought of him, stuffing your cunt with your fingers pretending it’s his hard cock. The throbbing of your clit became more uncomfortable as you continued to think more about your assistant’s godly features, particularly his thick muscular thighs. Shifting around in your seat didn’t help ease the tension you felt, it only worsened your need. Rubbing your thighs together in an attempt for a form of friction was useless as well. Maybe you should have invited Gojou back into your office, at least your mind would be thinking about something else other than your assistant. A sinister thought crawled to the forefront of your dazed mind. Why not deal with your sexual urges right now? Kento would definitely take a few more minutes to deal with other things and to send an egotistical maniac away. Biting your lip out of frustration, you thought, fuck it, people have done worse things in the workplace and this was your office. Just before your small fingers could slip past the waistband of your skirt and a voice sounds through the room, stilling you into shock.

“Ma’am,” suddenly, Kento’s voice reaches your ears and shocks you to the point your blood runs cold and you think you may have a heart attack.

“Fuck, why didn’t you knock?” You seethed through your teeth, a tone you used with inferiors who didn’t do their job correctly. The sexual frustration you were feeling a few seconds earlier just turns into full on rage. It amused Kento.

“Are you alright?” he asks with a sweet tone and an even sweeter smile, it was sickly. He chose to feign innocence to your obvious frustration. The man found your anger adorable. Of course he had witnessed it a thousand times in the length of his career, never being on the receiving end, but this time around. Kento’s heart soared at your deeply furrowed brows and tightly clenched jaw. “Did you want to get yourself off, pretty girl?” A hand grasps at your chin, tilting your face to look at the blond figure, “I can help you with that.”

Before you know it, the hand on your chin travels into your hair, intertwining itself with your locs, as his lips press a gentle kiss on a space on your neck behind your ear. A sigh falls from your lips as you succumb to the ministrations of his lips along your neck, lapping at the soft skin to soothe it after biting down harshly. As you whine at the loss of touch, Kento chuckles softly. He bends down to kiss you again with more fervour, wasting no time to explore the cavern of your warm mouth.

The sight of your assistant sitting on his knees caused your brain to melt, no longer having the ability to form coherent thoughts, his large palms radiating so much heat as they caressed the exposed skin of your thighs. “Let me make you feel good.” You gulped loudly. A smirk spreads along Kento's lips, pride swelling in his chest at the fact he was the one who caused you to lose composure.

“Okay,” you agreed, voice barely over a whisper. Internally, you slapped yourself for sounding so weak and small in front of your employee. Kento’s hands grab at your waist to drag you to the end of the leather seat, barely able to hang on, before you knew it your skirt was being pushed up and your soaked-through panties were dragged down your legs, secretly stashed in Kento’s pocket.

You sighed at the feeling of the warmth of the muscle against you, a stripe licked through your folds. Widening your legs out of reflex, your fingers grazed through Kento's blond locks before tugging at them, bringing him impossibly closer to your cunt. Kento's sharp nose brushed against your clit deliciously as he lapped at your entrance like a starved man, the small action sending jolts of pleasure through you. Your hole was seeping with sweet wetness, just waiting to be collected by Kento’s hot tongue. He couldn’t help the moan escaping his throat as he devoured your pussy, you tasted like heaven.

“You’re skilled at everything, huh?” you managed to breathe out in a steady voice, surprising yourself. The low hum kento let out sent vibrations against you, adding to the pleasure, making your head spin. “Fuck, I should raise your salary for this.”

If someone could be pussydrunk, it would be Kento Nanami. There was something so addicting about the way your slick tasted, bitter yet sweet, he never wanted to detach from your cunt, he couldn’t bring himself to do such a thing. Especially not when you whimpered so softly it barely reached his ears. With two fingers, Kento spreads out the folds of your pussy to admire the slick mixture of your wetness and his spit all along your sex, some of it trailing down the skin of your bottom. Just before you could protest and whine about the withdrawal of Kento’s touch, a sharp slap against your cunt causes the words to choke in your throat. You were stunned. No man had ever dared to slap you, it would have infuriated you, however there was an unfamiliar look in Kento’s eyes, one that made you want to be quiet and cower. It also didn’t help that the slap against your pussy felt so good, it made you forget about the pain.

“This pretty pussy,” another harsh slap landed against your cunt, you couldn’t stop the high pitched whine leaving your lips, “is mine,” Kento slapped you once more to punctuate his words. The man was getting high off the reversal of roles, normally he would be the one to follow your every command, always so eager to please you by any means necessary. The image of your chest raising and falling, hips thrusting to gain more friction, your tight skirt pushed above your hips. Kento could have cum from just looking at you. No wonder you had so many incapable men crawling back to you, fully knowing that they will never get a second glance.

“Say it.”

A thick finger began to slowly inched its way through your gummy walls, taking much longer than needed, your tight walls welcoming the pleasing touch, begging to be filled. If anyone had walked in on the scene, they would have guessed that a porno was being filmed from the heavy stench of sex in the air to the lewd squelching sounds of your drench cunt, especially with your slick glistening against Kento’s chin and nose.

“All yours,” you sighed breathlessly when Kento was knuckle deep, no longer being able to hold yourself up, you fell into the chair behind you, “this pussy is yours.”

Satisfied with your response, Kento’s finger began curling against the walls of your warmth, trying to find the certain spongy spot to make you see stars. His lips attached to your swollen clit, the slow circling of his tongue was torturous, you couldn’t even buck your hips as his hands held them down to stop your squirming. It wasn’t enough. The high of your orgasm was approaching and you desperately wanted to cum.

Studying your expressions, Kento knew he found your g-spot from the moan you emit and the tug against his hair, the aggressiveness made him groan into your clit. Tears began to brim in your eyes, fingers curling in the blond hair, mouth gaping open. You were so close. From the clamping of your walls against his singular finger, Kento knew you were close to cumming.

The speed of his finger quickened, pulling out of your cunt to thrust it back in again, consistently hitting against your bundle of nerves. It was a spot you couldn’t reach yourself when you touched yourself, your fingers were never enough.

“Come on pretty girl,” Kento coos as if were praising a child, he desperately wanted to experience you fall apart, all because of him, “cum all over my finger and I’ll make sure it will be my cock next.”

As if on command, your body listened to softly spoken words and let the orgasm ripple through you, a sinful moan filling the walls of your office, which quickly turned into another whine as the thick finger leaves your cunt, completely soaked with your cum, to only have Kento’s tongue lap at your arousal.

“T-too much,” you spluttered out, trying to use the minimal energy you had left to peel the blond away from your abused cunt. It was no use. Kento was much stronger than you and the grip he had on your hips was like a vice.

A grin stretched across Kento’s face as he rested against your thigh, finally allowing you to climb down from your orgasmic high, this was the first time you had seen him smile in the years he’s been with you. He looked like a child who had been given candy. You felt the beating of your chest skip a beat.

“Pretty girl gets sir’s cock now,” the smile drops from his face as Kento stands to his full height, towering over you like a giant. You couldn’t help your eyes falling onto the prominent tent in his slacks.

“Maybe overtime will be fun today?”

[bunnyywritings]

bubbly s/o opens up about trauma pt. 1

bakugou katsuki & shouto todoroki x gn!reader

word count: 1.8k

requested by anon: Katsu, Sho, Izu, and Eiji headcanons to their bubbly, and sweet crush, and close friend, opening up to them about being abused by their parents growing up? They've gotten therapy and are living with their Grandparents but sometimes they get upset when someone brings up parents or asks about the scars from abuse. They tell them they shared this with them because they refused to lie to them. They hug him close, thanking him for being a good friend. -Morp

[a/n: i hope you don’t mind that I’m doing it in parts anon! i ended up doing scenarios for each one, i'm a bit rusty so i apologize if this isn't very well done. you can read part 2 [ here ] ,thank you for requesting sweet heart! here you go! - yours truly, bunny -`ღ´- ]

TW: mentions of parental abuse & scars, nothing explicit but implied

To an extent, he always knew. Maybe not the specifics, but whenever you were alone and thought no one was paying any attention, you’d let your guard down. The metaphorical sparkle in your eyes would dim, your shoulders would slump as if you were taking a break. Then someone would approach and in the blink of an eye, the sparkle was back and the familiar grin on your lips was present once again. Despite what others may think, Bakugou was a good friend.

He worried about you. A lot.

That may be due to the fact that he has a huge crush on you, but it was unlikely. He values your friendship so much. He’d rather have you as a friend than anything else, really. That was mainly his insecurity talking though. He just thought he wasn’t good enough for you. No one was, really. But that’s besides the point.

He had never explicitly said anything about his feelings for you but he didn’t need to. It was quite clear through his actions. Well...clear to everyone but you, that is. Even Aizawa had caught on. And he couldn’t care less about his students’ love lives. He’s had his fill of teenage angst and drama.

During training, he’d always make sure your water bottle was full or during lunch he’d keep an eye out and make sure you were eating. Sometimes he’d even give you extra pieces of meat from his plate, or if he had veggies he knows you like, he’d wordlessly place them into your rice bowl.

Now this wasn’t one sided at all. You also had your ways of looking out for him.

If you were doing a convenience store run with Sero and you saw the particular snack that Bakugou likes, you’d instantly grab a few. For his birthday, you had gotten him custom earplugs for quirk training. It had been after you and him were paired to spar against each other, he always insisted on not holding back against you out of respect, and you had experienced one of his full blown attacks head-on. Your ears were ringing for about half an hour before you could somewhat hear again, and even then, everything was a bit muffled.

Needless to say, you were worried about his hearing

He scoffed and rolled his eyes when he unwrapped the box. Scolding you for wasting money on something he had no use for.

He always uses them though. Especially when he’s doing stamina training, and it’s explosion after explosion.

Anyways. He notices your strange behavior, one day. You stopped trying to keep up the façade and you were sort of gloomy all day. He was absolutely pissed that no one had noticed the change, and he’d yell at them later for it, but he kept his cool and waited until he could be alone with you.

It had been around 8pm, just an hour before his bedtime, when he made some tea for the both of you and carried it up to your dorm room. He paused in front of your door, looking down at both his hands, a mug in each one, then looking at the door handle. Realizing he won't be able to physically open the door by himself, he awkwardly bumped the door with his elbow.

“Hey idiot, it’s me. Open the door.” He grumbled quietly, frowning when you hadn’t responded. Before he could repeat himself a little more aggressively, the muffled sound of your sniffling made his stomach drop. Panic rising throughout his body as he made up worst case scenarios in his head.

“(Y/n), seriously. Is everything okay?” All attempts to sound calm failed as his voice betrayed him, trembling the slightest bit.

On the other side of the door, you started to panic. Furiously wiping any evidence of tears or snot from your face before you slumped over to the door, turning the lock and tugging it open to reveal a frowning Bakugou. He wasn’t upset, he was worried. It was evident in his red irises.

“Here. Drink it before it gets cold.” He handed you a mug before walking past you and into your room. He admired the decor everytime he was in there, no matter how many times he had seen it already, it never failed to make his heart warm. You had a wall full of pictures of yourself with your friends. There were a few solo photos of your friends as well. Most were candid shots, there were a fair few of him.

It always reminded him that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. You cherished those candid photos because in your eyes, when your friends were carefree and themselves, no poses, no facade, that’s when they were their most beautiful.

He took a seat on your bed and patted the space beside him. Nudging the door shut, you made your way over and got comfortable.

“What’s up with you today? You seemed...not yourself.”

You didn’t respond, opting to take a sip of your tea. He knew there was something up and he wasn’t gonna push you. So he leaned back and got comfortable, waiting until you were ready. It was a solid three minutes of silence before you took a deep breath.

“I-I don’t want to lie to you, Katsuki. It just wouldn’t be fair so uhh, yeah. Here goes.” He could tell that this was overwhelming for you so, wordlessly, he put down his mug and held his hand out to you and you grasped it, like it was a lifeline.

And you told him.

You told him about the abuse from your own parents. He felt his blood boil as you showed him a few scars inflicted by your parents’ quirks. You explained that it was the anniversary of the day you ran away and went to live with your grandparents, and how you had been seeing a therapist on the regular since then.

It pained him to see you struggle through the tears, hiccuping a few times as you attempted to catch your breath. You didn’t even have to say it but he could see it, it was an all too familiar feeling to him. He tugged you to him, letting go of your hand and pulling you into his chest, his arms wrapping you up in a warmth that made the stinging tears return.

“You know, this doesn’t make me think less of you. You’re not weak. Those bastards don’t realize how bad they screwed up. You’re strong, and they’re gonna regret every goddamn choice they’ve made when they see how far you’ll go.”

“Thank you.” You whimpered as you gave in to the new wave of tears, hooking your arms around his shoulders. “Thank you…”

If anyone asks, no...he wasn’t crying. (He was though.)

If anyone was familiar with the signs of abuse, it was him. 

It hurt him so much knowing that you had gone through what he did, maybe not to the same extreme but you had experienced it nonetheless. 

He admired you though. Despite whatever happened to you, you were always bright. Always in a good mood and always choosing to see the good in people. He knows that he didn’t have the strength to do that. Maybe eventually, but not so soon. He had never wanted to pry. You guys were friends, practically best friends and he trusted that you’d tell him when you were ready. 

To his knowledge, no one knew. No one mentioned the way you’d flinch around sudden movements or when someone raised their voice. Honestly, it was a wonder that you had even befriended Iida. He was the epitome of loud and sudden. Always waving his arms around at the randomest times and always shouting to chastise someone for breaking a rule. 

He noticed that you tended to cover up your torso often. Never really wearing anything more revealing than a normal t-shirt. Even on the class trip to the beach, you insisted on staying covered up. No one questioned it, chalking it up to insecurity. Even during training when everyone had to wear their gym uniform, while others undid the top part and wrapped it around their waist, being clad in a tank top or sports bra, you had always kept it on. Even when it was extremely hot. More often than not, he found himself resting his palm against your forehead to cool you off. 

It hadn’t been very hot, but Aizawa decided to run everyone ragged with combat training, so everyone was partnered up. Todoroki had been partnered with Denki and you had been paired up with Eijirou.

As he sat with his classmates, watching the two of you spar, he was quite impressed. Not that he doubted your skill but both fighting styles were drastically different. Eijirou and his quirk relied on close combat while your quirk worked best with long-range. He could see the frustration on your face when Eijirou kept charging towards you and engaging in hand to hand.

As the fight went on, Kirishima had hardened his forearm and hand, kinda like a makeshift blade and as he took you down, he had accidentally cut the top of your gym uniform. As the dust settled and the both of you got up, the tear in your clothes allowed the whole class to see your back and shoulders, skin littered with scars. All were different in size, color, severity, etc. 

Everyone was stunned silent, not having expected anything like this. 

“(Y/n)...what happened?” You could feel the breeze on your back and the pity in Kirishima’s eyes made you angry.

Everyone suddenly snapped into realization. Various questions of; ‘who did that to you?’, ‘where did those come from?’ and whatnot were shot at you from different directions. He could see you slowly being overwhelmed by everything. His heart dropped as he made eye contact with you, your eyes tired and filled with tears. 

“That’s ENOUGH!” Everyone froze and looked at Todoroki with wide eyes, his voice booming.

Sensing the tension starting to rise, Aizawa sighed. 

“Alright everyone settle down. Training is over, get back to class. (Y/n). A word.” 

Reluctantly, Todoroki followed the boys into the locker room and changed into his school uniform.  When everyone was out and he returned outside to the training grounds, you and Aizawa weren’t there so he had gone back to the locker rooms. He knocked and called out to you. 

“Can I come in?” He heard a meek ‘yeah.’ So he carefully made his way inside. 

There you were, dressed in your school uniform and sat on a bench with your face buried in your hands, shoulders shaking. 

“(Y/n)...” He gently placed a hand on your shoulder, he winced when you looked up at him. IIt ached him to see your beautiful eyes tainted by tears. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner Sho…” Your bottom lip quivered. 

“Please, don’t apologize.” He opened his arms. You stood up and basically collapsed into them, clutching onto the back of his blazer. “Just always remember that I may understand more than anyone else will. I’ll never judge you, you know that right?” 

“I know…It’s just, ugh-” You pulled away and wiped the tears from your face. “I don’t want anyone to change how they look at me because of what my parents did to me and when everyone saw, and they were asking all of their questions, their eyes...they were just full of pity.” 

“Then look into mine.”

And when you did, you didn’t see pity. 

You saw admiration. You saw belonging. Love. Understanding. 

“Nothing will ever change with me, (Y/n).” He pressed his forehead against yours, “I will always be here for you.”