#esp when the ppl who do it are often doing it to boost their own ships

[peachyqueenly]

Anyway wow I can’t believe how good this update was for Lily fans and how it supported PureLily so much like she had so many tender moments with PV and plus Shadow Milk specifically pointing to him as her weakness aka a common romance trope… Ough.

[the-nysh]

That panel after fighting Darkshine "Because I'm a monster" hurt me to look at. He's so lost. He's looking for real justice, but not only are the heroes lacking, the monsters he idealized aren't any better.

Some ppl forget he’s only 18. He likely didn’t have a proper supporting system growing up, so he turned to his only source of joy: fiction. The monsters he saw in those kid shows are less cruel and disgusting, so he rooted for them, because he sees himself in them. Once he encountered real monsters, he cannot find connections with them at all, so right now, he can’t identify with anyone. He feels disoriented, disassociated, and isolated. He can’t be heroes because heroes are popular, and the ideas of only the popular will be loved has been ingrained in his brain since he was young, he quickly labeled himself as someone that would always be hated on. He is in denial of the fact that he wants to be a hero, and subconsciously that influences his behaviors. He saves others without meaning to. What Garou needed is someone to prove to him that good heroes do exist, someone who doesn’t care abt popularity or merits (we all know who that will be).

Anyway, I just find his story incredibly sad.

Mmm. :') Most of his understanding and solace found has been thru fictional (idealized) depictions of heroes/monsters. Real heroes are fallible humans too, who can and often behave selfishly within their own interests, and real monsters derive pleasure from mass slaughter/destruction, the 'liberation' from their earthly suffering while human (abandoning all their human connections and morals), and have fun preying on the weak. All of which Garou hates - they aren't the outcasts/underdogs fighting for their own brand of fair justice, so yes, Garou's always found real monsters disgusting once he finally gets to meet them. And unfortunately, most heroes he's encountered/interacted with have only affirmed to him his worst perceptions of them. :'))

What Garou needs, is for someone to prove to him he's already a hero (and can still be one despite everything - he already is one to Tareo!) And that determining whether someone's a hero or not doesn't depend on the rules/expectations/approval set by others - you just are. (Garou saves people - random citizens, Bang, and esp Tareo - because those are the strongest impulses that truly drive his heart - when he doesn't try to deny himself or push those feelings down.)

But Saitama has in fact, suffered from the same type of scorn (bullied as a child) and unpopularity while he's a hero, just as Garou has. So Saitama is the living proof you can still be, and become/do what you want (without pretending), but choosing to live that way, by openly putting your true self out there, won't be easy...(which is also why Saitama keeps it in moderation as a hobby without negatively consuming his whole life either.)

Tareo is however likely far more important on a personal/emotional level to him, as the similar relatable outcast, overlooked 'bullied kid' Garou closely identifies with, who can give him that needed confidence boost (and in the wc, respark his will to live) proving to him who he really is. :')) As much as Tareo tries to communicate the truth to Garou (yet still meets a wall of denial)...eventually, his voice will get thru to him once those walls start cracking.

[kewltie]

cosplayers bakudeku, where katsuki is famous for his really flashy, overly detailed and complicated cosplay at cons and izuku is a nsfw cosplayer who doesn't do cons but is super huge online. katsuki snubs that kind of low level cosplay bc he thinks it’s trashy and beneath him. then their fandom collides at the biggest con in japan bc izuku promised once he got 5mil follows on twitter he'll do a meet up and katsuki who plan to have the most intricate and best cosplay that year at the con... completely got upstage by a bunny boy in skimpy costume and he's FUCKING PISSED.

despite the fact that Izuku mainly produce is lewd and suggestive content in his cosplay, izuku rarely show his face in his photoshoot except only to his highest tier patreons. he often comes off as bold and confident on camera but irl izuku is a mess of anxiety and insecurity. heavily bullied growing up, he came to hate himself and his own skin bc he never felt good on it. his therapist suggested he start taking photos of himself daily to boost his confidence bc if he's able to take control of how he look and present himself to the world it's a first step.

it started small. just a casual selfie each day as soon as he wake up, no prep and no care. he just want to get it out of the way. then he started to rearrange outfits to go w/ his photos. he moved to posing next and then he bought an expansive camera just to take photo of himself. izuku's insecurity didn't get overcome overnight but lil by lil the boy in the photo blossomed from a gloomy unsmiling face to a handsome bright young man. that was how izuku fell in love w/ the camera and the boy in the photo bc he might not love himself yet but he love the *him* in those photos bc they don’t feel like it’s actually him.

once he got into it, he was hooked. he wanted to take better photos of himself, in outfits he normally doesn't wear (a lil more showy and skin), and in setting outside the walls of his bedroom. he wanted to look good bc it made him feel good about himself. it made him come alive. so he set himself up to learn everything that can help him get better photos of himself. like, he cant keep buying and reusing old clothes in his photo so he learned how to sew. and he knew nothing about how to do make up so he took to watching makeup tutorials!! izuku wasnt interest in styling or makeup previously but in the pursue of the perfect photo of himself he actively consumed every piece of knowledge that came his way. that's eventually how he stumbled upon momo's cosplay youtube chn, watching her tutorials on how she went from the start to finish with one of her more famous cosplays.

that vid opened up a whole new world for him, that there are ppl out there dedicating their time and energy into making elaborate costumes and props just to be someone else, something other than themselves and they were all so beautiful. at that moment izuku realized he could just be someone else for a change--boy, girl, monster, alien, animal, doesn't matter who it is as long as the person isn't him. it was ok. NOT THE MOST HEALTHIEST mentality but it worked for izuku. he followed all of momo's tutorials and started to get into cosplay. it was just something small to help him work on his anxiety and insecurity, but it warped into something that consume him bc cosplay empowered him to do more. TO BE BETTER. be brave in the way he doesn’t quite feel yet.

 it started as something mainly for himself and his battered self-confidence but one day momo made a comparison tweet about her earlier cosplay and her current one, how ppl improve everyday and that they shouldn't be afraid to push the envelope and try new things!!!! so izuku, feeling strangely brave for once, bit the bullet and post a single photo of himself in one of his selfmade costume of him in his now (INFAMOUS) bunny ears boy in short. his twitter had no post before the photo and he only followed momo's acc. it was completely barren.

he wasn't even anybody noticeable and momo had MILLIONS OF FOLLOWERS so izuku won't even register on her radar at all. he went to bed that night a lil happy w/ himself for being that brave but then he woke up the next day and his phone LITERALLY BLEW UP bc momo rtwted his photo.

now izuku's amateur photo got exposed to millions of ppl and gained several thousands new followers literally OVERNIGHT. izuku's nerves went haywire at the thought of everyone looking at his photo and seeing the cracks, his flaws, all over him. he couldn't bare the thought of ppl judging him but momo not only followed him but even said: "you looks so cute and sultry<333! wonderful cosplay work!" and the comments he received from her fans where all kind and encouraging and they want to MORE. izuku never felt so out of place and yet so strangely right where he should be.

this was his turning point. drumming up every drop of courage he has, he'd dm her and they started a friendship that launched izuku's career as pro cosplayer. w/ momo careful guiding hands, izuku learned the trade by a senior in the industry. the kinds of photo he take didn't start as uh, nsfw, but it kinda end up that way?? bc the photos he take are THE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF WHO HE IS—it makes him feel strong and confidence in a way that he doesn't always feel irl like the person in the photo is just a little braver to show a sliver of skin, to pose suggestively, and to make that kind of sultry face in front of the camera. THAT PERSON IS HIM BUT ALSO ISN’T HIM.

cosplay is similar to a theater, when izuku wears his costume he is shedding his own skin and donning a mask to be someone else. that person is the person he wishes he can be, the person he potentially can be if only a little bit. and w/ cosplay even if it's just a moment, just a flash of the camera and only in the photos he take, he can live on unafraid and untouched by reality of his anxiety and fears.

KATSUKI on the other hand started bc of mina. she was big on cosplay and harassed him to make her props for her bc he's v v clever w/ his hands and he likes making shit lol. the more demanding her request were he became the more obsessed to making it RIGHT AND PERFECT. he wanted to be an engineer bc nothing is cooler than building things and taking it apart. cosplay w/ all the things you have to create bc it doesn't exist anywhere else, so he has to start from scratch but he loves a good challenge. it's a great training ground of his career lol

he never intend to be part of MINA'S COSPLAY project but for her bday she requested that they collab and that he would appeared in a photoshoot w/ her. mina doesn't make bday's wish lightly so katsuki found himself cornered like trapped rat. he begrudgingly complied bc they been friends long enough that she can guilt trip him like NOBODY ELSE but katsuki can’t halfass it. if he's doing it, he's putting 10000% into this and be a fucking boss and OUTDO HER IN EVERY WAY so she can regret inviting him. so katsuki ofc picked the most elaborate, technically complicated, and time consuming cosplay. there were lights, electrical works, armor sets, etc, katsuki had to build them by hand to create it. he DEF show up her up at her own photoshoot and stunned every fucking person there.

for someone who has LITTLE TO NO INTEREST IN IT, katsuki went all in and more. ofc that photoshoot blew up on social media and ppl just hammer for more, wanting katsuki to make their costumes and props but he aint anyone's peons!! if he's going to put time and effort into making cool shit like this than he's only making it for his friends or himself. esp now that he saw how ridiculously hard and annoying it could be and that made him loves it all the more. so that's HOW KATSUKI GOT INTO COSPLAY.

after so many yrs of mina dragging him to cons to showoff his cosplay and w/ all the efforts he put into it, it always stunned the crowd. he even win awards after awards for his cosplay, firmly establishing his presence as one of the BEST IF NOT THE BEST IN the community!! so now he came to the biggest con of the year and is prepped for the show of his life. his costume is a dragon w/ glowing lights, functional mechanical wings that flap and even retract to his back!! it's kick ass and he poured hundreds of hours into it.

his legion of fans have been waiting for this project to bear fruit for months since the first sneak peak. the rumors churn around fandom that once again bakugou would place first again w/ his outstanding crazy out of this world dragon cosplay. nobody can top him, right????? when he arrives at the con w/ his new fucking showy cosplay, there as a blitzkrieg of photos ops and fan signing. everyone wanted to talk to him about his cosplay and then,,,,, someone SCREAMS DEKU and the next thing he knows he's left in the dust over some other cosplayer.

katsuki would be lying if he say he didn't know deku. deku w/ over 5 mills followers on twitter and 10 mils on instagrams, he's recognizable name in the community but for all the wrong reasons katsuki thinks venomously, deku who takes skanky photos of himself and call it cosplay bemismirching real hard works of other more serious cosplayers. it IRKS HIM SO MUCH that deku and his kind get the fame and recognition for wearing less, popping a collarbone and showing off his upper thigh in a photo and his fucking fans EAT THAT THIS RIGHT UP. fucking horny ass fuck ppl ruining everything and deku who catered to that shit.

while katsuki had spent months working super hard get this his dragon cosplay ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, nearly burnt his hands trying to get the wires correct, but all deku needed was put on some makeup, smile to the camera, and flashed his killer thighs and everybody THINK IT'S AMAZING. katsuki, in not one of his most brightest moment, decide to quote rtwt one of izuku's photos op w/ a comment: "you must have work reaaaaaal hard to look that good, huh. just making our community proud w/ that shitty ass effort." TO HIS 3 MILS FOLLOWERS bc he's an ass.

his followers immediately jumped on that tweet, blasting deku and his fanbase for calling it 'cosplay' but all it is is just deku w/ revealing clothes and in sexy costumes and OFC DEKU'S FANBASE DOESN'T GO DOWN QUIETLY, attacking back about their elitism and slutshaming. a war was started bc of a single tweet by katsuki who rarely keep his opinion to himself and he didn't know what he unleashed w/ that tweet. the majority of the community immediately side w/ katsuki who thinks that izuku shouldn't take all the attention from other hardworking cosplayer, blasting Izuku and his fans and all the other lewd cosplayers for not being *serious* enough but katsuki had no clue about it bc he just went there to vent and shut his phone after that bc otherwise he get so mad and break something if he think about it.

he got a competition to win!! which by everyone standard he's a shoe in to win first place again but just HIS FUCKING LUCK bc deku has the audacity to enter the same competition as him like he's gonna win at all?? in his skimpy boyshorts and bunny ears and FUCKING HUGE EYES AND RED CHEEKS AND, AND—. fuming, katsuki has every intention to destroy deku in the competition.

just before katsuki head off on stage for his number being call next, deku suddenly approaches him, eyes downcast and strangely shy in a way he didn't think deku who takes spread his thighs ON CAMERA, tells him with a tremble voice, "good luck, bakugou-san, im rooting for you!"

katsuki is kinda ?????!!! but he has no time to think about it bc it's his turn on stage and as soon as he step up, the crowd roars and he basked in the all their screams bc he knew he fucking got it. this is his stage, his world and deku is fucking dirt on the road. after he is done, he went offstage and waited for all the contestants finish and deku is apparently the last but the moment he on stage the crows is on their feet and clapping so loudly as though DEKU HAD ALREADY WON IT. they scream his names and lay their adoration at his feet.

for the first time in a v v v long time, katsuki felt unsure as though his first place wasn't a guarantee, but when it was time to announce the winner: it's his name that they call. which means all right in the world BUT lol deku is the one who won the audience's favorite award. katsuki won the judges' recognition but deku is the one whom the audience love the most and it's just hurt his ego so much bc he never lost anything in his life but this ??? fucking BRUTAL esp when deku is blushing as he hold his trophy but keep glancing at katsuki while at it.

after the contest end, katsuki broke away from his crowd of fans to stalked over izuku's own group, anger licking at his foot and his tongue sharpens for a battle. he is gonna end deku's entire fucking career right here and then.

just as katsuki makes his way through the crowd, he hears a soft and surprise, "ah, bakugou-san! congrats on your win!" deku says earnestly. "i knew you would win! your dragon cosplay is just out of this world and i'm just so floor , so can I-um, would you mind signing for me?"

katsuki stops. his brain freezes up and he lets out an intelligibility, "huh?" as deku stares up hopefully at him and his crowd of fans titters anxiously w/ worried whispers like they thought katsuki came to start a fight... which HE DID, but deku had surprised them all.

"i dont have a pen," he says, like a total IDIOT against deku's wide earnest eyes bc the image he has of deku doesn't MATCH at all with the sweet shy young man in front of him now. the deku he had seen was confident, sultry, and knows how to fuck you up w/ a curve of his lips but the deku he sees now is like a completely different person who doesn't seem as bold and daring as the deku who took a photo of himself in foamy bathwater and a teasing leg poking above the water that PROVOKED ALL KIND OF INCINERATING IMAGES. it's just--DOES NOT COMPUTE!! FUCK

"oh," deku replies, completely crestfallen like his heart is shattered bc of katsuki inability to acquire a pen. "but i-i, think i have something for you to use," he says, looking down at his chest and feels around for something it AS KATSUKI'S EYES BULGE OUT.

pulling out a pen tucked b/t his tight corset, deku looks on happily. "i got one!" and then hesitantly. "um if you don't mind."

katsuki just stares at him, not knowing if DEKU WAS FUCKING W/ HIM AT ALL OR is this actually real. like, is he that much of a fucking ditz and it's not like the fans DON'T HAVE A PEN but they're kinda too focus on watching this hilarious shitshow go down. some of them want to see katsuki blow up, others stand there protectively around izuku, but most just here for the drama after seeing the twitter fallout.

blankly, he just take the pen from deku. "where do i fucking sign?" he grunts.

"Um, my, um," deku goes bright red suddenly, "my chest--well i mean no wait, uh, my arm if that's okay with you? i didn't bring anything w/ me for you to sign. im so, so sorry for the inconvenience!"

katsuki can feel a headache coming on. "Are you fucking with me?!" he hisses. this is clearly some sort of a fucking joke. deku prob plan to set this up w/ his fans to mock katsuki. that lil shit.

deku's fans titters anxiously as deku's eyes widen shock hurt. "i wouldn't--!"

deku in his dolled up face, bunny ears, corset and fuckING TINY SHORTS w/ white fur linings meant to incite you and fuck w/ your heads but katsuki looks at deku's wounded eyes and he knows, somehow, he's FUCKED UP. this isn't the face of manipulative conman. he's fucking real.

katsuki sighs and drags a hand down his face in defeat. "fine," he says, and grabs deku by the arm to the gasping crowd. he quickly writes his name over deku's bicep as his other hand steady his brushstroke, fingers pressing down soft flesh and it sets off fireworks in his head. deku doesn't even move in the slightest, holding his breath the entire time as katsuki's finish writing his name. when he step back, deku looks at the writing on his arm and traces a finger over it, carefully and reverently.

YEA, katsuki thinks, he'd really, really fucked up.

katsuki isn't known for his mistakes, but even he now knows that he had deku wrong all along bc of his egoism and elitism, he'd almost destroyed deku w/ it. fuck, he messed up but, he's not just going to let that sit. he'll fix it. delete the tweet and apologize to deku.

first though gritting his teeth, he asks, "if you're not doing anything else now," stopping for a moment, he cringes at his pussy ass wording, IT DOESNT SOUND LIKE HIM AT ALL. HOW IS HE EVER THIS HESITANT. FUCK. he coughs and looks away. "walk with me around the con."

deku immediately lights up like a fucking lighthouse. katsuki's eyes are nearly blind with how incredibly happy he looks. "oh-oh, really? can i really go with you, bakugou-san?" he asks, excitement and worry warring on his face. "you won't mind right?"

katsuki huffs. "I fucking told you we're going together, why would i take it back then. im not some shithead that would go back on their words," he snaps.

for one fucking dizzying moment, deku's lips curve upward into a slow and blossoming smile and katsuki is knock breathless. he turns his head away, feeling a strange heat rising in his chest. fuck. this is not good, he thinks as he hurriedly walks off, leaving deku behind in rush. he hears deku yelling at his back to wait for him as his heel clicks and clicks in rapid succession trying to catch up.

katsuki slows his step enough for deku to finally be in line of him, who is a bit breathless having to run in his heels. "t-thank you," deku says, sounding grateful for the FACT THAT KATSUKI SLOW DOWN FOR HIM EVEN THOUGH KATSUKI IS THE IDIOT WHO RAN OFF IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Grimacing, "my fault," he grunts. it's not an outright apology but it's enough trigger another smile on deku's face. katsuki is starting to realize that deku is all nerves and hesitation but for every moment of boldness he manages to sum up and is rewarded for it, he's happy. it's such a small and insignificant thing to be happy about but deku takes it like they're gifts and abruptly all katsuki wants to do is be the one is give it to him.

they both go quiet as they continue move around the con, posing for photos and signing things for their fans. their hardcore group of of fans trail them from a careful distance. he recognizes the trouble but confused expression on deku's circle of fans and then there's katsuki's fan who are all looking at him like HE'S INSANE for shitting on deku one sec to now buddying up w/ him.

katsuki feels like he's insane too since meeting deku his emotions had been running amok on a cocktail of anger, confusion, and an undecipherable emotion he's afraid to give a name to. this is all deku's fault. but mostly it's him--his for being such a prejudiced asshole. if he didn't win that audience's favorite award is only bc he WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH not bc deku cheated his way to that win. if ppl like deku better it's bc deku is sweet and GENTLE AND GOOD and katsuki is an idiot for assuming what he wear and how he present himself say otherwise.

he thought mina had beaten these alpha male elitist preconceived notions out of him but the thought of losing to deku had hurt his pride and he lashed out in all the fucking wrong way like a total bludgeoning idiot. he's gonna have to apologize eventually. he knows it. one step a time though.

it's summer in tokyo which means it blistering hot so the AC been blasting nonstop at the con. katsuki with his punk dragon cosplay got his studded scaled jacket on and also he always run a lil hot so he doesnt feel it. deku next him though is trembling a little under the chilly air. he'd been touching himself more, hands running down his arm to warm up everytime they get a break b/t fanmeets and photos but the moment their fans arrive, his hands drop to his side and he put on a profession front.

after the fifth time it had happened, katsuki can feel the throbbing annoyance growing in the back of his head. "cold?" he says.

deku stops. "uh, no."

"so you're not cold in those clothes?" he asks, brows furrowing skeptically. "really? not even a lil bit?"

deku quickly shakes his head, looking down at his outfit. "this is my armor," he says, smiling softly. katsuki doesn't know what to think of those words but with the way deku have been more than sincere w/ him throughout their entire meeting he believes it, believes him.

katsuki frowns, running scenarios in his head and then says fuck it. he cast off his jacket and throws it at deku. "wear it," he orders. "i dont want you catching a fucking cold next to me or your rapid fans are gonna eat me alive." he shoot a glare at them for equal measure.

"oh," deku breathes, hush and so delighted that he's bleeding happiness. "thank you. you're so kind bakugou-san." he pulls the jacket over his body and it nearly swamp him with how big it is, but fuck deku in katsuki's jacket with bare legs poking through is a FUCKING MASS WEAPON.

He realizes in that heated moment why deku is so much beloved by his fans and it’s partly the long pale legs, the bright green eyes, constellation of freckles, and soft, coy smile but really it’s just plain old awkward deku that they all fell for.  He sees it all now, and bitter regrets for his past actions hit him like a goddamn truck and he want to knock some sense into his past self right now. Fucking damnit. If deku who smiles sweetly at him now and who think Katsuki is this amazing ,kind person before him realize what kind of ugly monster he had made of himself earlier on twitter against deku… then that smile will no longer turn toward him anymore and that somehow hurt more than the lost of his trophy.

[queenofthefaces]

kyle for the character thing!!!!

Buckle up bc I’m extra af and love talking abt characters. Be aware this is like, entirely personal opinion and personal interpretation and also it’s almost 2am so LETS GO

1) sexuality hc: I’ve always really liked bi Kyle ahsjdkfk and tbh I’ve always found the idea of his attraction to other ppl really interesting

The way I characterize him is that he’s someone who’s like, typically very passive with his attraction. He’ll kind of glance at someone and think they’re attractive but he doesn’t necessarily have any strong feelings towards them or desire/drive to want to pursue anything with them. If he does want to pursue them it’s usually out of a sense of obligation or expectation—like a “well I might as well” or “this is what I’m supposed to do” kinda thing

Except Kyle DOES have exceptions—when he finds someone he feels passionately about, someone he’s emotionally and mentally invested in, it’s like 0-100 in terms of difference, bc suddenly he can’t stop thinking abt that person, how much he wants to be with them, etc. and a lot of that characterization, for me, falls in line w the specific ship I have for Kyle (which is obvious if you’ve followed me for a few but I’ll get Into That in the next section)

2) OTP: KYMAN by far my fave Kyle ship and one of my all time fave sp ships overall. I’ve always LOVED rivals/enemies to lovers ships that specifically have 1) characters who are equals 2) characters who are incredibly intimate and close w one another even if (or because of) it’s in the context of the rivalry 3) the characters have either some level of co-dependence or a need for the dynamic or one another in some way bc the relationship is fulfilling to them and bonus if 4) they’re the only ones that really understand each other

And I jus. Love that. Esp w kyman it’s so much fun taking that dynamic, the codependency and obsession, and just. Playing with it, on a storytelling/character analysis level. And then making it healthy, having them work through issues, bc the idea that “we’re both in way too deep with each other, we can either destroy each other or learn to get along” is jus 👌👌👌

And w kyman I love having Eric be Kyle’s exception. Kyle feels basically nothing towards his other s/o’s in contrast to how deeply he feels about Eric, and for Eric to have just as much depth of emotion in return. It’s fascinating and really fun esp when written from a kind of duo-redemptive story—they both start out toxic towards each other, and their relationship is toxic to other people, but they can’t bring themselves to put an end to it so they finally make it to that middle ground and come out as better peoole, together

This applies to a lot of my rivals/enemies to lovers ships but w kyman in particular there’s the added Funkiness of the childhood friends dynamic which is TASTEY like some nice sprinkles to jus add that extra Flavour. I love the concept of Kyle and Eric forming parts of their entire identities around each other from the time they were in diapers and everyone accepts that they’re always gonna he crazy for each other bc no one has the bond they do it’s so much fun

4) brotp: I should think more abt Kyle friendships tbh I don’t give those as much attention ahsjdkfkfk—tho I definitely have a soft spot for the super best friends kyle + Stan, I just have to work some development into it.

I love exploring their friendship as smth that deteriorates bc they grow apart as people, but then they realize they don’t WANT to grow apart and have to work to stay friends bc being friends isn’t as easy as it was when you were 8. It brings this really cool development that confronts Stan’s passivity towards his friends/his nihilism and Kyle’s entitlement and lack of emotional sensitivity and how they both need to make some compromises (but esp Kyle, bc I can see Stan as someone who tries very hard to not get much feedback).

In terms of Kyle being friends w other people I’m thinking it would be pretty situational. I can see Kyle getting some really eye opening perspectives from other ppl if he opens himself up to their views but that requires knocking Kyle down a few pegs lol, it’s fun to have him learn to recognize his own assumptions abt ppl and learning to value them as individuals yanno?

3) notp: honestly? Any other kyle ship. I can personally only see Kyle w Eric ahsjdkfk kyman endgame all the way. For me, a lot of other Kyle ships like, don’t make any sense, a lot in part bc I see Kyle as someone who has a lot of issues w socialization, entitlement, and selfishness along with his UNENDING OBSESSION w Eric Cartman (which also somewhat stems from those issues bc of Kyle’s sense of self identity vis a vis the rivalry)

Like, I can’t see Kyle sitting down and forming a meaningful romantic relationship w anyone else bc like, no one can provide the fulfillment, engagement, drive, and push/pull of Kyle’s relationship w Eric. Kyle would leave at the drop of a hat to confront smth Eric was doing and I don’t think he’d ever compromise with that. And someone who does compromise on that probably isn’t someone Kyle would want to be with in the long run.

I think the only ship I can see would be like, poly m4 bc that draws on pre-existing dynamics and doesn’t break or try to divy up Kyle’s attention. (Even tho like I said I don’t like Kyle w anyone else romantically)

5) 1st hc that pops in my head: my Kyle is autistic as fuck. Characterizing him as autistic gives a lot of insight into how his mind works and why he acts the way he does—a lot of his thought processes are just. What makes the most logical sense to him. It’s just that those trains of thought are on KYLES logic and that’s when he struggles to realize when he’s crossed a line or overstepped a boundary. Or how his brain is usually always “self-centered”—not in a morally negative way, just in that it’s not a natural reflect for him to remember other people.

And a ton of other things as well( including a fun hc of Kyle trying to use his autism as an excuse for being a dick, until Also Autistic Craig steps up like, no dude you’re just an asshole bc you’re not trying to do better). And bc as an autistic person, I really relate hard to Kyle to the point where if he were real I’d probably hate him bc we’d be too similar lmao; I think esp when I was a kid I acted a lot like Kyle—the self righteousness, the bossiness, the belief that my way was the only way that made sense and everyone else was just Wrong, the anger issues, etc.

It’s why I’m tough on Kyle a lot of the time, but it’s also why I love thinking abt his development, bc I know firsthand that he can mellow out, change, become a better, more wellrounded and emotionally aware person, and how he can make an effort into doing so

6) oh shit I didn’t even mean for this but obviously one way I relate to Kyle is the Above autistic hc and how I characterize him. Like I said, I acted a LOT like Kyle when I was a kid, so I know he’s an irritating little shit, but also brilliant and too thoughtful for his own good sometimes.

But another thing: I characterize Kyle as someone who is a natural leader, but hates being in official leadership positions. And this is also smth I’ve kinda written due to personal experience. But also from the way kyles often portrayed in canon—in the games, he’s always a support role, always a healer, ranged fighter, or someone who boosts and buffs allies

I see Kyle as the type of person who can easily take control in, for example, a group project situation, or when he’s hanging out with Stan and they’re only doing what Kyle wants to do bc Kyle comes up with all the ideas and Stan just goes along with them

But I can’t see Kyle as someone who’d want to be, like, student counsel president. (That’s more Wendy’s wheelhouse) Mostly bc there’s too much responsibility that it’s just exhausting, and more than that, those official positions are STIFLING. They run on someone else’s schedule and they’re creatively constructive. You can’t fully do your own thing bc you have to be constantly aware of how the group works and what the group wants. I can’t see Kyle as being happy in that position bc he’d get sick of having to conform his ideas to what other ppl want—he just wants to do his own thing.

So instead, Kyle would be more comfortable in a supporting role. Bc in a position like, for example, secretary or VP, he can still have a lot of influence, power, and knowledge, but he’s free from those restrictions that come from being the face of a group. And he’s also free from the social obligations of being a leader, esp in having to deal w other groups in like a business sort of way. AND if the group falls, Kyle won’t take as much of the blame, bc it’s probably not his fault anyways so why should everyone point fingers at him. It’s much less pressure.

(And it’s also kinda inspired by his role in the CBAA??—Cartman’s perfect in the CEO/face of the company position bc Cartman is comfortable with and relishes in the attention and social aspect of being the face/leader of a company, and Kyle can reap all the benefits of being a part of that company, including being an integral pillar of the company, w/o the deficits. If Eric and Kyle ran a company they’d work together, sure, but Eric would crumble without Kyle’s support, and Kyle would hate the stifling pressure of the head position, which makes them a perfect pair.)

(And again this is based on personal experience—I’m a natural leader. People listen to me, I can organize groups, and I’m a good mediator, but I hate when it becomes Official bc I can’t just. Do my own thing as I want to and it’s far too much to keep track of and most of it doesn’t interest me. It always irritated me when my parents tried to push me into like running for student president bc I just kept thinking abt all the work I’d have to do that I wouldn’t care abt)

7) what gives me secondhand embarrassment about Kyle? Well. Just......how much he reminds me of when I was a stupid kid. He’s such a little shit oh my god Kyle shut the fuck up YOURE NOT GHANDI. When Kyle’s being entitled and stuck up, when he thinks he’s better than other ppl, and when his own big mouth and pride are what fucks him over I’m just oh my god. Oh my GODDDDDD SHUT UPPPPP.

Mostly it’s secondhand embarrassment bc I’m jus oh my god ur an idiot—but again bc I know he has the ability to grow out of that and look back on himself with a grimace at how dumb he was ahsjdkfkfk

8) cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Definitely the latter, I love Kyle and I love when he’s happy and contented but him as a cinnamon roll kinda character feels so flat to me. I love him as a problematic fave he’s so much fun as a disaster. He’s complex—he’s tough and caring and angry and compassionate and an absolute fireball of EMOTIONS but he tries to act like he’s a logical rational person and I jus? He’s so much more fun and dynamic when he’s allowed to be messy

(Of course this is long why wouldn’t it be AHSJDKDKKFKGLGLH)

[thetwistedrope]

i don’t really know how replies n such work with New Tumblr, and the old post was getting too long, so responses are being shoved here.

I think that different ppl want different things, but at the core of it all, I think people want to feel like they’re being seen.

Comment on what people write. It’s not always easy, we don’t always know what to say, but here are some ideas: 

state your thoughts, even if brief

talk about whether the ideas presented make sense or not

talk about what works for you, what doesn’t

give feedback if requested (lmao my WP posts often have prompts to generate discussion except it never works)

ask questions, ask the author to expand on points of interest

like srsly even “i feel called out rn” is a response that gives more than dead silence

for those who are like “i have no clue what to say” then RB the post. Signal boost it. Like buttons are notoriously disliked amongst most non-YT/FB people, because the like button doesn’t get more eyes on the materials. So RB it. Post it in other venues. Hell, we used to have a system where someone would post a link to my stuff, and then I’d post a link to their stuff, so that way its not just bloggers pimping their own stuff (an anxiety point for lots of us), but instead is other community members supporting fellows’ works by posting them in groups where others can see them.

i also like seeing what other people are doing. esp for group projects that are more community-wide in nature. but lieu of that, i’d just honestly take more participation on the content already being put out there.

tumblr won’t let me add the second response image because tumblr is a joke, but @any59​ talked about how it being online probably doesn’t help, and I think that’s partially true, but partially not.

When I cite my own life experiences, I’ve found that distance can play a role, but that people still make time for what is important tot hem. My uncles lived within 15 minutes of my house and yet never prioritized being a part of caregiving for their father. I’ve got people who live two hours away who will make time to come see me.

The grass is green where you water it, imo.

[babiewonho]

thoughts on shownu nd wonho

[audio of calebcity’s anime villain laugh bass boosted plays] WOW….amira u truly want me dead askfjaskfj wow…Hyung Line…i’ll start with mister wonho bc that’s where my brain is takin me   Buckle up!! [this is 2k words when will i die]

my favorite fake maknae…mister babie..something i find very unique abt him is even tho he was supposed to be the leader   he also has a lot of youthful naive charm that matches more of a Follower type of personality. like while we saw him be a leader in no mercy, and he did an excellent job esp with gun being covered up for his lack of dancing skill, i think that is a very unnatural state of being for him, and he exerts an unfortunate amount of energy trying to lead others. he has the skills necessary but i think he overextends himself to employ them. his natural state of being is more of a follower in that that’s where he’s more comfortable. he stresses too much about keeping everybody happy at once and takes too much responsibility. he’s naturally a workaholic and sacrifices his health for the sake of work. 

so honestly i’m really glad he didnt end up being the leader and i’ll get more into leder shownu later :D but i take it as a blessing that he’s allowed to take more of a backseat and speak up when he wants to rather than always being in charge. tbh wonho is kinda Out Of It all the time and while i think if he was a leader he’d fight to stay in the moment i think he needs that time in his head to decompress. tbh it’s really funny that he cld have been the leader to me in no malicious way just bc he’s never There askfjasf like when minhyuk said he always needs to go looking for him bc he just wanders off and he’s getting coffee and he’s like what :D and he needs extra explanations and stuff all the time and minhyuk n the others need to direct him in what he’s doing all the time. 

that’s why i said the fake maknae thing bc in many ways he has a really youthful kind of innocence to him like just a silly child. like when ck took the glass away from him at the awards show so he wouldnt break it kasfjsa and then the bottle   like a big brother would do  and wonho was like :/ okay…and wiping his tears. we rly see a shift from him as a Hyung to someone who the others end up taking care of in a very natural way. there’s a big reverse dynamic there, in particular with him and changkyun. which is rly interesting! changkyun kind of steps up to be more mature in situations with him. it’s really cute…

when i think of wonho in the position of a hyung, i think it’s in a non traditional way. when i think of him i think of light blue and him being a Healer. he is a big reminder to stay in touch with your emotions and feel them. at the taiwan concert…i believe at least! that it was that one…when everyone was holding back their tears wonho was like just cry!! to hw in particular he said that there were a ton of people there to hug him and support him when he cried so he should just do it so he didn’t regret it later, and he has a very nurturing heart. he makes this one face…it’s like a mix of a pout n a sad smile?? when he pities another member…it’s a very gentle and empathic facial expression…i’m not used to seeing men make that face. 

so i think he DOES offer a form of guidance/wisdom as an older member but it’s not in a structural way if that makes sense like minhyuk saying “walk over here” or ordering them around it’s like a Healing presence..a calm spirit to offer Peace and Serenity. being in touch with his emotions i feel also creates an openness within the group where they feel better about expressing themselves, at the very least bc they cld use him as a scapegoat, which i dont think he’d mind. like wonho cried first!!!

part of his openness with his emotions is what makes him seem childish not in an unlikable way but rather…like he never got that Hard adult shell that makes people fear expressing themselves and their true thoughts. when he is happy he is brightly adorably happy he’s literally :DD just delighted and that brings out protective instincts in those who are around him which is another part of why he’s a fake maknae 2 me…he gets teased like everyone else but i dont think anybody cld have the heart 2 be mean to him his eyes are just too sparklie…also his LAUGH…is so loud and genuine and beautiful and it makes me feel such joy and it makes the others happy too  nothing is really funny to me until wonho laughs that’s like the official comedy stamp his :D smile n HAHAHAHA laugh  n his wheeze

he’s also really stubborn like a child which i find endearing but i know cld be frustrating sometimes but i find it funny askfjas he’s a baby…he asks for opinions n then doesnt care bc he already made his mind LMAO

he is also!! just so so full of LOVE. his heart is so big…he loves his family and monbebes and his members and he’s so transparent about it and it’s absolutely precious. he radiates love and puts a very beautiful calming blue energy into the world and everything about him is very gentle like body language wise. he speaks very softly even though he’s Loud sometimes the words come out soft if that makes sense. the way they are pronounced in spite of volume. he doesn’t spit out words and i think that’s kind of why he stutters so much they’re so soft n undefined they blend into each other. they need more shape…but he also holds things gently and doesn’t exert a lot of pressure in his fingertips. he’s very cautious and not aggressive and is not prone to anger, though he can get frustrated.

i really thank him for his honesty with fans abt how he’s feeling etc bc i think it creates a very nice friend like relationship. he rly cares abt keeping up updated and it’s so precious i feel genuinely cared for lmao…i literally take care of myself sometimes bc of his tweets like dont forget to eat etc and that’s so special

there’s more things i cant think of right now but u know…i cld happily do this forever but MISTER SHOWNU…ur time to shine (forever…)

NOW…shownu is the official leader which is also unique because nothing about shownu besides perhaps his powerful body commands Leadership our eyes are drawn to him because of this quiet power he exudes but he doesn’t have that dominant personality type in fact i find him a very passive person he’s not fussy at all and seems to value group harmony over his own personal feelings

i think sometimes being a leader is burdensome to him for the reason that he has more of a quiet let things happen personality but that’s what’s interesting. the members don’t respect him because he Commands their attention. they follow him instead rather bc they just respect him and Know he’s the leader. 

even though leadership doesn’t come naturally to him in the traditional sense and minhyuk often assists or does more tradition leader things and has to remind him to speak, he has a whole different form of leadership where he’s quiet but when he Does say something everyone just respects it and doesn’t question it. i feel ppl follow him out of respect and affection rather than anything like intimidation if that makes sense. they just look up to him and admire him and respect his wishes. 

he was a leader during no mercy and ppl followed him without question mostly. he’s really good at having a friendly personality but still making sure people focus during dance practice. ppl might think this form of passive leadership is bad but i think there’s no need for him to interject generally bc mx flows very well with their dynamic and doesn’t need to get adjusted much. he also imo has kihyun and minhyuk as co-leaders which happened naturally and not out of his inability to lead efficiently, so i think if he’s lacking in any way, they’re there to cover that up and i think this also helps remove stress from him.

shownu is also just so likable!! on running man they said when ppl dont talk much, strangely you want to pay more attention to them and i think that’s happened to shownu his whole life. people are watching him without knowing and then when he speaks they’re so pleasantly surprised because he’s so funny and most of it is said in such a flat way, like deadpan humor. he’s a comedy genius because what he says is so unexpected most of the time but also so powerful. if shownu said like…”legs” i’d pee myself laughing bc something abt him is so fucking funny and endearing and goofy and HIS laugh itself makes me laugh too like …he invented comedy lmfao he’s absolutely not boring that’s a misunderstanding of his personality  he definitely needs to get comfortable somewhere before his real personality is revealed but he’s gotten a lot better at that which is why he’s been advancing through variety and im so proud of him for that and impressed

also adding to him being so endearing the members just genuinely adore him and i think when he went to law of the jungle a taxi took him to the location and ck said to the cab driver “take care of him/drive safely” which is very sweet and just shows like the Depth of their affection for him. everything he does the members just find so cool and funny and endearing and he brings them a lot of happiness

he’s also such a good fit for the group because he’s so CHILL like minhyuk cld be gnawing jooheon’s leg off while wonho fights changkyun over a piece of shrimp and hyungwon is getting dusted by kihyun and shownu’s like :) i love my family and HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH LMAO like he genuinely adores his members and you can feel that too like not even just things like him giving up lines (hw in beautiful) or splitting his commercial earnings among his team which he didnt even want kh to say but he imagines himself doing things with them in the future like going on trips and he really sees them as his friends/family rather than coworkers and it’s so lovely and beautiful he’s just so goddamn fond of them lol

also hyung line with each OTHER is so precious bc wonho is rly like a little happy kid around shownu n shownu is so calm n chill and wonho is like :DD hello!!! n shownu pretends he doesnt care asjfsafj  it’s so funny wonho is just going around hoping for shownu’s love like he said in that fansign note n shownu ignores him n teases him asfkjasf it’s so cute when shownu teases it’s so funny it rly shows just how fond he is and shownu always laughs when wonho laughs and humors him?? and by humors him i mean wonho babbles a lot n makes little silly side comments and if shownu is within hearing distance he always tries to reply to those and he makes wonho giggle and it’s precious and he listens and shownu just really Understands the member’s personalities like when he said he likes when mh talks a lot etc he understands them and just doesn’t want them to change bc he loves the way they are like i kno that sounds fake deep but it’s true…

wonho is just so cute…n youthful around shownu i love the dynamic it’s amazing how similar they are in age like a year apart n yet wonho seems so young around him and shownu just teases him n theyve known each other for a long time n are so comfortable with each other n they work out together like…we love strong muscle men with hearts of gold …also this is just random but wonho pronounces “shownu” so cute n also i love hearing shownu say hoseokie like it’s just adorable shownu always calls the memebrs by their real names n fogets to say the stage ones like   who is even calling changkyun “I.M.” at this point   who is that….

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine being daehwi’s friend on p101 s3

a trainee after his own heart :’)

(( AS REQUESTED! // i love ur writing !! can i get a daehwi scenario where you guys are best friends bc you're also a trainee from brand new music and you participate in pd101 s3 and come in 3rd place like him,, and he confesses to you afterwards bc he's so proud of you ?? as fluffy as possible pls and thank u have a great day/night 💓��))

u and daehwi have known each other ever since u became a trainee at bnm

altho u were a little intimidated at first, he was always ready to approach u with friendly tips and a smile, so it was only a matter of time before u became best friends

hes the type of friend to hype u up whenever u step on stage

(ure p sure one time he came to a performance w a sign tht said u were the “inventor of rap” lol)

u can both b super extra when ure supporting each other tbh

to u guys, theres nothing too grand or too extreme to express how proud u are of each other

of course when u decide to enter produce 101 for the 3rd season, hes super excited for u

(hes also super nervous but he doesnt want u to know tht)

he gives u constant tips and advice, always guiding u

“be careful of their editing,, evil mnet is no joke”

daehwi sends u so much support tht even when u cant contact each other once the filming starts, u know he’s cheering u on

and listen. the show is STRESSFUL

daehwi already knew how hard it could be so he kinda didnt want u to go on it

but he also wanted u to show off how talented u were?? what a struggle

ur initial performance was with a couple labelmates, some girls u were close with but now super comfortable with

u did a song tht daehwi helped produce bc hes a king of music and u adore everything he makes

anyways

ure proud to say tht u gave it all, and u end up with a b ranking

its not as good as daehwi, but ure still rlly proud of urself

as the days go on, things only get more and more stressful

bc of how well so many of the s2 boys did, this season everything is 1000x as intense bc they want to make sure tht only the most talented people move on

as hard as it is, u step up to the challenge, practicing as much as u can whenever u can

still, sometimes ull see other ppl struggling

even tho theyre not from the same company as u, u have the kind of heart tht makes u want to try and help them even if just a little

at first it was a little awkward for u to offer advice to the other trainees, but with everyone cramped and tired together, its hard not to start to bond

soon enough, word spreads abt how ure one of the sweetest and hardworking trainees in the competition, and it sends a huge boost in ur popularity

it helps tht ure cute as heck and a lot of fans noticed how brightly ur smile was even before the first ep aired

altho ure not super close with any one person in particular, a lot of the girls there are super friendly so its easy for u to drift around to hang out with different groups

mnet seems to love u bc when u watch some episode clips, they show how ure always flitting around and seem like a v popular trainee

plus theyve decided to highlight u as one of the rising stars of the show, editing clips to show off the amount of time u practice and improve, even from ur already-amazing initial performance

ure super lucky and u dont forget it

but ure still pretty sure tht all of daehwis advice from beforehand helped u a lot

u dont get a lot of time to think abt him tho, just bc everything moves so fast in the competition

still, sometimes when ure trying to rest after another long day of practice, u cant help but reminisce on some of ur more playful and relaxed memories with daehwi

somehow, word didnt really get out abt how close u two were until midway thru the season

it wasnt like u were intentionally keeping it a secret, but it didnt rlly come up for awhile

not when u were all busy just trying to get some airtime and become a better idol

anyways

when word gets out, all of the other girls are So Jealous

luckily for u everyones really sweet and only tease u abt it instead of being jerks

still, now a lot of them are asking u for his number

tbh although u and daehwi had never talked abt it, u dont remember him saying tht he ever liked anyone

and honestly, u didnt rlly think abt him dating someone until girls were coming up to u left and right, asking what he was like

with time, everyone calms down a little bit, but ure left trying to focus on practice instead of why the thought of him dating someone else bothers u so much

(its hard bc u know exactly why ure upset, but u dont know what ure going to do abt it)

mOVING ON

u rlly cant talk to daehwi often, but there are some occasions where the p101 staff let u make a phone call

if ure not calling ur family, u always use it to call him

u use the limited time to catch up, and he always showers u in support and compliments, telling u how hes watching every ep when it airs and is cheering u on

even tho u cant see him, u can imagine the way he smiles as he says it, and its enough to make u smile as well

as the days and performances move on u get closer and closer to the final stage

u havent always been at the top of the rankings, but uve still been doing pretty well esp recently w all of the positive attention tht uve been getting

u make it to the finale, and u cant help but hold ur breath the entire time

in this mass of people in the audience, its impossible to make out anyones faces, so u cant recognize if anyone came to support u

u cant help but hope tht somehow daehwi made it, but u know hes been so busy with his own practicing tht he probably doesnt have time

theres a section of past p101 winners somewhere else, but its even further away and harder to see with all of the bright lights

the next couple of hours go by both achingly slow and annoyingly fast

as the names slowly start to get called, u watch with a heavy heart as more and more people are cheered their way on to safety

honestly ure still kinda surprised tht u made it this far, since u started out only hoping to gain experience and a vague fanbase with the show

but now tht ure here, u cant help but hope tht u make it to the end

despite everything u find urself cheering on the other girls whenever theyre announced as a finalist

everyones crying and ure no better tbh

its getting to the top, just before they decide to go back and announce the final member of the group, and ur ranking of 10 last week suddenly seems far too low, esp as 3rd place is about to be announced

then out of nowhere, ur name is called

ur hands are shaking and u keep looking around bc is this rlly happening?? but everyones screaming and hugging u and ure like ??????????

u cant even string together proper thoughts at this point

somehow u make it to the other stage where one of the staff puts a microphone in ur hands and the cameras are all aimed towards u

honestly half the things u say are just random words of gratitude or names tht u can never forget

ur busy telling ur parents, rhymer, all the other girls, ur fans, abt how much u love them, tht for a second somehow u almost forget abt daehwi

thts when ur gaze flickers to a screen in the stadium where the camera is focused on daehwi cheering and tearing up from his spot somewhere w some of the other p101 boys

of course u have to end it with a “lee daehwi!!! i love u too!!!!!!!” bc even if u know most ppl will take it platonically, ure not sure if he’ll see it the same way

(u dont even know if u want him to or not)

u say one last thank u before ure practically skipping over to ur seat and u cant help but think tht ure SO HIGH UP

still, now tht u know where daehwi is, even tho u cant make out his face, u feel ur heart stutter knowing that he’s there cheering for u

the rest of the night goes by in a blur honestly

as soon as ure all let backstage to meet up w ur family/friends, u find urself being tackled by a combination of familiar faces

daehwi is laughing into ur side, arm slung around ur shoulder, as ur parents try to congratulate u thru their tears, and uve never felt happier

after an embarrassingly long time of hugging and crying, daehwi manages to pull u to a slightly less crowded and loud area

n hes like “listen,, y/n,,,, u know im rlly proud of u too right?? like i love u a lot”

and ure not even thinking abt what u said in ur speech, just nodding along happily bc above all else, daehwi is still ur best friend

but he looks at u and he cant rlly stop smiling either, but he grabs u by the shoulders to say “no, i rlly love u a lot”

so ure like “okay??? and??????”

and he keeps staring at u with this stupid grin on his face and then it hits u and ure like “oh. oH. OH!!!!!!”

so ure both just smiling at each other like idiots n ure like “i think i love u too??”

at tht he has this mock-offended face like “u THINK”

but ure both so so happy teasing each other and feeling like ure both on top of the world

tbh u spend so long standing there and giggling tht ur parents eventually drag u away from ur private spot bc “u cant stand there grinning forever” and “ur bf isnt the only one whos proud of u!!!”

ure both embarrassed but its impossible for either of u to wipe the smiles off of ur faces

u all spend the rest of the day celebrating and enjoying each others company and the company of the rest of ur family/friends, and u cant help but think tht this is one of the best moments of ur life