#esp somethingbright who had the CUTEST story

[lime-popsicle-tilapia]

I feel like I should actually be thanking my mom for this baller url on a throwaway blog of all things. Anyway, thank you all for the great advice! Asker here with an update + some INFO.

UPDATE: I did ask my dad why he didn't cook when mom was here, and he said it was because it seemed like she wanted to and he didn't want to upset her or step on her toes. (They are divorced and dad moved in with me+bro while mom was gone, to help us, then stayed bc I still need the help.) However, one time when dad DID cook, my mom gushed to me about how nice it was to have him cook and how shocked she was that he did because he never did when they were married (TRUE). So I slid up to dad and told her mom liked it when he cooked and he should do it more. This has worked great! He also has health problems so he can't cook all the time, but he is cooking most dinners except when she says she has a specific recipe she wants to try. Those days can still be fraught but dad has really stepped up to the plate here. :)

Yes we are usamerican! It's funny you guys mention cooking shows like Worst Cooks In America because that's pretty much how I learned to cook, Mom never taught me. Probably for the best? It hadn't occurred to me to maybe see if she's interested in cooking shows. Maybe if I put some on while she's around she'll watch with me.

She does have cookbooks, a lot of them are very old white lady cookbooks from the 40s-70s that she got from her mother/grandmother. They are... not great cookbooks! I've learned recently that this is a multigenerational… thing… on my mother's side. My mother for the most part genuinely enjoys her own cooking. The women on her side of the family all cook like this. The men don't cook at all.

Myself and my whole family LOVE the meal subscription boxes, we just can't afford them consistently. My mom also struggles with them because she has a difficult time telling when meat is done and tends to cook it 2-3x as long as necessary. The result is… yknow. So when we were getting them, we were always cooking them together.

I understand the confusion vis-a-vis wasting food vs affording nicer food that I could use to make meals I can eat for the whole family. This is because I didn't mention; my brother's medicines for his disability make him RAVENOUS. Unfathomably so. It is not his fault and I do not begrudge him for it at all, but he eats as more than the other three of us combined, almost twice as much as the three of us combined. So my mother wasting $15 of tilapia because no one will eat it (she didn't even like it lol, but I don't understand why she cooked it all like that instead of doing one piece and trying it???) has nothing on what it would be like to multiply my own food budget ($100 every 10 days or so) by like, eight, in an attempt to feed my family+brother that well. Believe me, I would seriously love to, his diet is something I feel very guilty about. I used to prepare at least two meals a day for him so that he would eat fruits/veg. My guilt about denying him that + subjecting him to lime tilapia is what prompted me to send this in tbh. Fortunately dad is doing a good job now!

This is a very minor point but the comment about moving out and getting roommates made me laugh. I wish! To clarify: my family lives with ME. My name is the one on the lease, I handle the household expenses, I am the only one with a job (both parents are retired so their social security helps of course!).

AITA for making my family eat my mother's terrible cooking?

I (32NB) currently live with my father (70M), mother (68F), and brother (36M). My brother is disabled and requires at least one full time caretaker. Up until recently, this was me. First, my mom and I were sharing the duty, but then my grandmother got sick and my mom left, leaving me working, going to school, and taking care of the house and my brother by myself most of the time. It's worth noting I'm also disabled (physically and mentally), I just lived on my own from 16-27 so I got used to dealing.

Now my father has moved in with us and is taking care of my brother which is a huge relief. My grandmother died and my mother is back and helping as well! As a result, and out of the severe damage all the previous work did to me physically and mentally, I have removed myself ENTIRELY from caretaking from my brother. I don't do SHIT anymore. I will occasionally make him a sandwich or something if I feel up to it. So this is where the assholery might come in.

My mom… cannot cook. She is terrible. I mean it. Whatever you're imagining: worse. I regularly impress one of my friends (just the one, I don't want to bad mouth her excessively) with tales of her horrifying abominations. Yesterday she cooked tilapia in MELTED. LIME. POPSICLES. because she thought it would give it a citrus flavor. She did not use other seasoning (no not even salt). We have lime and lemon juice in the fridge!!!

I used to cook at least half of the meals, and often would help mom with dinner when it wasn't something boxed, to avoid such… creativity (and because half the time when she cooked I couldn't stomach it). But now due to health issues (caused by illness caused by overworking), I'm buying my own food and cooking all my own meals regardless, so I have fully stopped cooking for the family because I can't eat what they eat and we can't afford to all eat what I eat. I am subjecting my poor family to lime popsicle tilapia. We are wasting food because she ruins it and then no one will eat it, at a time when eggs are like $8 a dozen. My dad cooks when mom's not here (he's GOOD) but when she is, he lets her.

AITA? Should I bite the bullet and start cooking for everyone again?

What are these acronyms?